The Break-Up Diet - Stop Checking Who He Followed. It’s Not Helping You.

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

If you’ve ever said “I’m over it”… while refreshing his following list like it’s your full-time job… this episode is for you.Because why do we do this to ourselves?One minute you’re healing, minding your business… the next you’re deep on a random girl’s LinkedIn, analysing her life like you’re in the FBI. Casual.This week I’m joined by Josefin Eklund and we are not holding back. We get into the unhinged (but very real) things we’ve all done after a breakup — stalking, spiralling, comparing, and convincing ourselves we’re fine when we’re absolutely not.From fake scenarios and detective-level investigating… to ignoring red flags, questioning everything, and that feeling when you know something’s off but can’t prove it.And the real question is:are you actually trying to move on… or are you just looking for something that keeps you attached?Because sometimes it’s not about him anymore — it’s about the habit of checking, the need to know, and the part of you that isn’t ready to let go yet.Messy, honest, and a little bit too relatable.If you’ve ever checked who he followed and instantly felt sick… go on, press play. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I saw that he followed this girl on my birthday, which is four days later, by the way. But she was private. So I was like, fuck, what the fuck do I do now? Like, she's private. So I typed in her name into Google. And then, obviously, like, looked at the photos. And the first photo was, like, a LinkedIn post. I clicked on the LinkedIn post.

So the next day, said something, like, sorry, I didn't send you anything or, like, say anything on your birthday. In her LinkedIn post, she had this whole thing that she has, like, a tattoo or whatever. and I quoted the tattoo in the words of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is that word that? Yeah. Buckle up bitches is going to get bumpy.

This is the breakup diet. Welcome back to another episode of the breakup diet. Today we have Josephine back again because we're filming part two of this game that we played. We've got like all the questions and then we're going to discuss the questions that come out. Have you ever stayed because you were scared to be alone?

Yeah, I have. Have you? Not scared to be alone, I think. Just more like scared of what would happen if I was alone or like will I ever find someone else? Yeah, that's scared of being alone. Okay. I think I was scared of the change but also you get confused because it is good in some moments and then it's not good in some other moments and then you get like confused with your feelings, you know? That's what I think it is too. Especially if you live with someone, you don't know if you're going to, where are you going to be?

Who you, like, if you're ever going to meet someone again. Yeah, literally. There's so many things. Even if you like enjoy being single, it's just, I don't know, it's scary. Yeah, it's hard. There's so many. But what if you regret the two? That's one thing.

If you don't do it, you're still going to get it because you're going to be miserable too. So is it better to take the jump and at least try? And then if not, hope you can circle back. Have you ever stalked an ex's new relationship? Yeah. No, I haven't because I don't think, I mean, obviously that I asked, I asked my second ex especially. Yeah. Like if he's met someone new and he told me about all of them. So you didn't go stalk them after? No, because, no, I was like, yeah, she's, she's great. Like, go for her, but not her.

I like her. I haven't had it because my ex hasn't, I don't think he's moved on, but I've definitely stalked people he's been interested in, for sure. Like, when we first broke up, wow no I'm not gonna lie like I think if I saw my ex move on with somebody else I would stalk them if I could yeah yeah even if I was over it I think I've done it more like in my current relationship where he's ex and like yeah I know he's seen I I don't I always go into like yeah look in their stories and like see if there's still something there what's your worst habit in a relationship I don't know do you have any bad habits yeah I don't have it don't have any bad habits. You feel like you don't have any bad habits? Yeah. Not the same in like every

relationship, no. What would be mine? I don't know what mine would be. I definitely have some. I definitely have some. Yeah, I'm sure I have a few. I think, I think though if I was in a position, thankfully I wasn't with my last relationship where I felt like a bit I didn't trust him, then I think I would have serious bad habits. But because I did trust him, I didn't. But I think if that was even slightly a concern for me, I reckon I would have a lot of bad habits because I would become like an FBI agent and I would be looking and I would be bringing it up 100%. Oh yeah, I created his like email address to find out like every like it was Greta Swenson that's my alter ego. And what did you do? I thought my, the guy that I was seeing had

gone back to his hotel room with someone else. We had dinner and he just disappeared. And I was like, okay, I'm sure, because obviously, like, I knocked in the door, he's not in, like, he's not opening the door. And I think to see the CCTV, there's a crime. Yeah. There needs to be like a crime. Yeah, yeah. So I was like, okay, I had a red channel bag that's been stolen this night. And I know kind of like the timeline.

Yeah. Can I see the CCTV? They were like, okay, email, send this on email. And I said, okay, okay, I don't want him to like to know that this is me. Okay, yeah. So. Smart. Yeah, Greta spends on 1992.

That's funny. And they were going to show it to me. And then I just, I don't know, I decided to leave him. Yeah, because I didn't want to know. And I just left it. I was like, okay, my bag, my bag has my phone. So. Did you ever wonder if he, did you ever find out if he did, go see someone?

I found out, like, six months later that he was innocent that night. Okay, he was innocent that night. Yeah. Not guilty. Oh my God, I've done this with a friend. It wasn't for me. But she was like, I feel like my ex was not. Well, it was her ex, but they were getting back together.

My friend was like, oh yeah, I think my ex is lying about where he's staying. Like he said he's in Paris, but he's not like, and saying at this hotel. But she was like, I just have a bad feeling. So we were like, okay, let's call the hotel. So this is like not even that long ago. So we called the hotel saying that it was his birthday coming up in a few days. and we wanted to deliver him a cake. And like, so like, we obviously asked them, like, oh, can we have the, like,

cake delivered to his room for this thing. And then they were like, yeah, yeah, sounds good. I'll get back to your on thingy. And then they got back to us and they were like, no one is staying at this hotel with that name. And we were like, aha. What if he used a different name like Rotas, fans? No, but why would he do that? Like, he doesn't know.

Like, he's just going to Paris thinking he's having a jolly time. Like, why would he put a different name? Yeah. He's not famous. You know what I mean? He's not like, I don't know, Leonardo DiCaprio and then trying to change the... That was pretty psycho from us, but that one wasn't actually me, and it wasn't my idea. But I love it.

What have I done? I love it to see. Oh, yeah, the fake photo shoot. Fake photo shoot? Yeah. So, like, the first time I found out, like, I thought something was a bit dodgy, and, like, we broke up because I basically saw, like, a phone call from a girl on his phone, and I was like, fuck.

So anyway, and obviously, like, I'd been away in Australia and I'd come back, and then, like, It was like in red, you know, obviously, like, the miscall was like in red, so I was like, nah, and I like saw it over his thing, which I never ever did before anyway. And one of the girls, like, I'd seen like liked a photo, like months before. So I remembered the whole name. Anyway, so I obviously saw this name then come up. So I was like, nah. So then I like went to the bathroom, so I told my friend, like, I was like, oh my God.

And then I like came back out and tried to pretend nothing had happened. So I sat down on the couch and like my whole body was like shaking because obviously I was like, what the hell, never had anything like this happened to me. Yeah, and then obviously, he was like, what was wrong? And I was like, I'm just cold. Because obviously, he said, you're shaky. I was like, I'm just cold. Maybe I'm just cold.

Like, obviously, I'm not. I'm fuming. We ended up, like, breaking up, I ended up going to a hotel that night. It didn't check where I was going nowhere. Like, it was like, I was just like, well, I need some space. Like this, he didn't even ask where I went, nothing. Three hours later, called me up and dumped me over FaceTime. Oh.

And I was like in Manchester and around a hotel. Like, didn't ask where I went, didn't ask anything, it was rough. Anyway, we got back together, obviously, but in between getting back together was the fake photo shoot. My friend had this brand. And she was like, oh my God, this is what we should do to find out the truth. We should hire the girl to be a model, because she was a model. Okay.

And a model, yeah, hire the girl to be a model in a brand shoot from my friend's brand, actually pay her and stuff. but like I was like I will commit to the crime like let's go I will pay for it let's go yeah anyway so we sent her a message off the brand account and then we like unsend it like five minutes later because we were like that's too extreme but I was going to have one of my friends be the photographer the other friend be like the stylist the other friend be like the like I don't know on set thing and like I wasn't going to be there oh you're why not well I wouldn't I wanted to be there maybe I had we hadn't got that far you know but like you could have

I think I would have been able to different name. I was like, imagine. No, but imagine, like, we've hired her and then we're just like, you know, catch him theme. This poor girl is trying to, like, get work. I mean, we would have paid her, but paid her for the truth. And then, yeah, that was it. Okay.

And then the only time, which is suss, is when she unfollowed him, is when he posted me for Valentine's Day. And that's the only time before that, she never unfollowed me. So obviously, to this day, has never admitted that something went on. And he, like, has died on that hill. Really? Yeah, he's never said anything happened. I think, I don't think anything actually happened.

I think they're probably just flirted. And, like, it was not innocent in that way. But interesting, if it was nothing, not even flirting, that she would unfollow him on Valentine's Day when he posts me. No. You know? Have you ever compared yourself to an ex's new partner? I know my previous ex, he doesn't have a new partner.

Yeah. My first ex doesn't have a new partner, but he probably saw other girls. Yeah. Well, obviously. Yeah. So I was years ago. But would you compare yourself to an old partner?

Not comparing myself because obviously like my relationship now. Yeah. I'm so different to both the sexes. Yeah. And I know he's one of his sexes too. Yeah. And I love her. So I think I would compare if I was younger.

Now I don't think I would. But if I had a breakup when I was like, like, any range between like 16 to even like 20 to be on it even like 23 I probably would have then but I don't think I would now I think I think if they looked very similar like very similar age very similar vibes very similar everything then yeah but then that's a compliment because then it's like oh I'm his type yeah but I think I would then look like be interested I compare myself more with like people like if if I was dating someone and I thought he was I don't know like if he had someone else that he was

that I thought he was seeing then I would compare myself to that person more yeah but ex is not or new partners was it new partners yeah it was new partners but I asked about the previous too what is comparing then

if someone broke up with me then and found someone else like right after like the same week after and obviously I would compare myself yeah who hurt you more your ex-exed ex-ex or your worst situation ship. Yeah, my ex probably, obviously,

because he was my first breakup. So it wasn't, and it was nasty, as in the actual breakup wasn't nasty, but like all the things that followed after were nasty. They hurt, like, and they made me feel like I was being dramatic when actually I wasn't at all. But then my ex situation shifts, it was more of a feeling of not feeling good enough

to even be given a go. That's the difference. Oh, yeah, for sure. What about you? which has hurt you more probably my current relationship yeah but that was also it was a situation and yeah so well that one then situation yeah situation yeah situation have you ever stayed silent instead of speaking your truth yeah really how come speaking the truth but what for me what i think of when i read that it would be like stay silent instead of saying the truth so i might say for

when I've had conversations after with my ex about breakups, I've not said everything that I think purely because I know that, one, it's not going to really help the situation and why do I need to kick someone more? You know what I mean? Like, I'll only, I'll stay silent. I'll stay silent on lots of things and less like a few things,

because obviously, like, if they're saying, like, a few things, like, I need to get something back in to be, like, dickhead. But I stay silent. But I stay silent a lot. Yeah. Like 90% is silent. Even if like I want to say something and I'm like, that will, that will hurt. I won't.

Oh God. Yeah. If that's, I stay silent. Yeah. What toxic trait do you bring in today thing? You see, I used to always think that it was jealous, but I don't actually think I'm jealous. No. But I used to always, I used to self-diagnose myself with jealousy, but I actually don't think I am jealous.

No. What do you say? I'm a jealous person. No, no, no, no, no, not at all. Like, not at all. I'm trying to think of my toxic trait. My toxic trait would probably be, if I feel like I'm not doing enough or not doing as good as I could be doing, then I feel like it's not necessarily a toxic trait in the relationship, but to myself,

I'm like very critical, like very critical. Do you have a toxic trait? Do you think I have one? I don't know. I don't know. Probably. Yeah. Being too nice.

Being too nice. The person who doesn't deserve it. Yeah, being too forgiving. Too forgiving, yeah. I don't know if that's bad, no, I think. No, it's not bad. It's not toxic to be too forgiving. Toxic to yourself sometimes.

Yeah, maybe too much to myself. Because some toxic traits with people would be like controlling or be like jealous or be like. Oh, okay, no, I don't think I have any of those. No, neither do I. What's one thing you still haven't healed from? I can say mine if you want. Yeah, I have a few. I have a few.

So yours, first. Okay, so something I still haven't healed from. My ex not wanting me back. You fuck her. It doesn't make sense. No, but it doesn't make sense in my head without sounding super. No, it doesn't make sense to me. Right?

Especially because you recently, no. Do you think if someone was to cheat, do you think you can come back from it? Yeah, I do. How? You need to rebuild that trust. Yeah. And everyone has probably like different ways of doing that.

What would that look like for you? If someone cheating on me, I'll give him a few things that I wanted him to do. And I just want to see the effort at the moment. Like if that happened in my current relationship, I just wanted to see that for it. Like go to therapy with me. Small things. If he tells me he's going to go out one night and he says like I'll be back at eight. Be back at eight.

Be back at eight. Yeah. Those small things. things help. Yeah, they make a big difference. Yeah. And it sounds really stupid, but it is, like, sticking to a plan. Sticking to a plan.

And, like, and if the plan is changing, then communicating that it's changing. Yeah. That's a way to rebuild trust. If I was in a situation, again, like a similar situation where I would be, like, reminded of what happened. Yeah. Then I would want him to, like, listen to me, come forward me and, like, reassure me that it's, it's not the same situation, even if it's similar.

vibes love again or stay single longer love again yeah love again yeah love again i feel like i feel like i i could i feel like i could meet somebody now to be fair before i wasn't ready there is a long time i wasn't ready and it took going back when you're ready just don't like meet someone just because you want to have someone i would never do that no well i have done that i can't no because i wanted i just ended up in a relationship yeah that doesn't happen to me so maybe my answer is stay what was it stay single yeah my that's never happened to me I'm either very very single I've only ever been very very single or you had one boyfriend I don't end up in a random relationship I think yeah I think it's nice I would never just be with somebody just to fill some time

because I'm like you're gonna even if you have a great time with that person yeah that's where it gets confusing. I've never had that, so it'd be hard. It's not romantic, but kinder, but not like... Yeah, I guess that's why that's confusing. That would have been confusing. Maybe you can be friends on the line, you know what I mean? That kind of thing. Well, we can't do this because it's healing error or hoe phase, a healing over being a hoe. I've been a hoe already. Because I don't, I don't need to go back to that. A retired ho. Okay, you go. Block or mute.

Mute them, mute. Yeah, mute because block is a bit too much. Like, but mute for yourself because you don't want to see that person while trying to heal. Like, especially when it's like the first stages of a breakup as well, like mute them. Yeah, because also I mute as situation as before, too. Like, I remember, and I forgot that I did that. And then I was like, like, years later, maybe I live. It was like, oh, no wonder I never see any of their stuff.

They have their things muted. Yeah. It was brilliant. I forgot all about them. Yeah, I would mute them and hide them from my story too, from seeing my story. I don't know. You see, I've never hidden, I have, like. I would, because otherwise I would be like.

Looking to see. Yeah, if that person saw it, obviously. Have you ever cried over someone who didn't deserve it? Yeah. Have I? Yeah, probably. Yeah. I feel like most people have, no?

Yeah. And then you have a wake-up call. But I also think when you meet people in your life, like at certain stages, that plays a big thing into it as well. For example, like, you've had something happen and then, like, the first person you meet after, or you have a toxic relationship, and then the first person you meet after this toxic relationship, and that is also not good, but you, like, put them on a pedestal.

So I feel like that happens a lot. So I feel like most people have cried from a situation or, you know, giving someone too much attention that didn't deserve it because of something personal. Have you ever self-savitaged a good relationship? Like, ruined it yourself? Maybe my first one. I don't know. I can't really remember.

Fair. But yeah, kind of, because I didn't want to be the first person saying that I wanted to break up. Oh, yes. Because then what if I regret breaking up? And then I can't get him back. And then, I don't know. Yeah. That would just suck.

Yeah. Next question. Cry alone or a trauma-dum boyfriend? Cry alone. And trauma-dump too. Yeah. Yeah, same, same. Like a little bit of both.

Yeah. You know, you need the girls. If I'm really, really sad and I just want to cry and be alone and just have a drink on my own, I'll do that. Oh, no, I don't. I need to support. But then I want to have someone on the phone. Yeah, so no, trauma-dump with friends then. Oh, yeah, no, I wouldn't want to just.

do that cry alone. I always have someone on the phone. I remember one time I was crying so much. This is months after as well. And I was like really sad at one point. I think I just like, I think I'd gone on a date with this guy, this other guy and it was just not it. And I was like, oh, this is what being single is like on the market right now. I hate everyone. And like, I just wasn't in a good space of like going out with friends either. So I wasn't really even doing that. So like this date, I was like, good. Just going to, you know. hitch myself to somebody else, and that will be fine.

And I went on the stay and it was so not it. And then two days later, I had the crash out of that. And I remember just, like, crying in my room and my mom was staying. And I remember her hearing me because the walls were quite thin. And it was, like, really late at night. She just came into my bed and, like, cuddled me. And I was like, oh, oh, I would have been so sad if I was alone, just crying.

I mean, yeah, the only time I cried alone and actually really wanted to cry alone. Yeah. That's, I had to, I was in a car, I was just driving around and then I stopped like on the road somewhere. It was raining and I was crying. Like really like bad. I was crying a lot. When I'm sad, I like to be alone, to be fair.

But I also do like a bit of comfort, it depends on what stage. But if I'm really sad, I just want to be alone. Like I just want to be like feeling sorry for myself. Okay, you go. Next one. This is the last one. Okay. What's something you do?

in a pot's relationship that makes you cringe now. I've done some things that I regret, but nothing that makes me cringe. No, nothing makes me cringe. I do find my sending LinkedIn post that was quite, that was iconic. Have I told you about that? Oh God, this was so bad. So this is like four days, this is not good advice, but it's real. Like four days after the breakup.

He obviously just went like so bang done. And I was like, what the hell is going on? So obviously you don't expect it. I saw that he followed this girl on my birthday, which is four days later, by the way. And they obviously didn't send me a message, didn't say anything, even though we had like a nice-ish breakup actual conversation.

I was like, right. And then obviously saw a new follower. And I was like, oh, let's go check. But she was private. So I was like, fuck. What the fuck do I do now? Like, she's private. I need to see her.

So I typed in her name into Google. And the first photo was like a LinkedIn post. Okay. And it was like a photo. of her so I clicked on the LinkedIn post. So the next day he actually said something like, sorry I didn't send you anything or like say anything on your birthday, I hope you had a nice day,

which obviously I didn't have a nice day. We broke up four days before and you couldn't even like send me one message or anything, like the one person I wanted to get a message from and you would know that, you know? So I was like pissed. So I quoted her because in her LinkedIn post, she had this whole thing that she has like a tattoo or whatever

and I quoted the tattoo. Because it was like, he was like, oh, I'm sorry. He was like, in the words of, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Is that what it's saying? Yeah. Because he was like, I'm sorry, I didn't like do this. I was like, in the words of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Did he know?

Did he understand what you? Oh, yeah, no, I did screenshot the post and send it with it. But also, I referenced her name. Okay, yeah. So in the words of this, what doesn't kill you make? It was iconic. He didn't reply to it. But I, like, my friend and I thought it was hilarious.

Yeah, it is. It made me laugh in a dark time. But yeah, that never goes the way that you wanted to go. Like, I thought he was going to be like, ha ha, but obviously he's not going to be like, ha ha, that's so funny.