The Break-Up Diet - The Breakup Diet's Survival kit for the Holidays!

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Have you ever wondered why Christmas carols evoke both joy and dread? Join us on a festive yet introspective journey as we untangle our complicated feelings toward the holiday season, especially as single women. We reminisce about contrasting Christmas experiences in London and Australia, from wintry scenes to sun-soaked beaches. As we prepare for a return to Perth, we humorously dissect the influence of romantic Christmas movies like "The Holiday" and "Love Actually," pondering why they make us yearn for unexpected love stories that rarely happen in real life.Navigating breakups during the holidays can be a real emotional rollercoaster, filled with awkward gift dilemmas and unexpected social dynamics. We share light-hearted stories and reflect on the seasonal upswing in online dating and social opportunities, as well as the often-messy reality of relationships during this time. Why don't movies ever show this side of the festive season? We poke fun at the lack of realism in holiday films and share amusing anecdotes, like a woman reclaiming her presents post-infidelity, offering a playful contrast to the idyllic narratives often found in media.As we embrace the holidays on our own terms, self-empowerment takes center stage. From creating new traditions like Friendsgiving and crafting empowering playlists to handling unexpected ex encounters with grace, we emphasize self-care and resilience. Whether planning responses to nosy family questions or strategizing an escape plan from holiday gatherings, it's all about looking forward to new beginnings and celebrating singlehood. With humor, reflection, and a touch of seasonal cheer, we invite you to explore the dynamics of single life during the festive season with us. Merry Christmas, and here's to new adventures!Send us a textInstagram:@the_breakup_dietTikTok:@thebreakupdietEmail: [e-mail]

Welcome back to another episode of The Breakup Diet. We are Yaz and Ilms, if you didn't know that already, and it's our Christmas edition. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. I actually hate Christmas carols. Do you? It's alright. Like, it is fun. I do like some of the songs. It's not really carols, like Santa Baby. That's fun. Santa Baby. That one. like it is fun i do like some of the songs it's not really carols like santa baby that's fun santa baby that one yeah yeah that's quite yeah i do quite like that but i just don't like how much they play them yeah it like i think after the first week of listening to it you're like okay let's wrap it up now yeah that's when it's annoying but we're here to another holiday season this year just flew by what the hell i know our second celebration we did halloween on the breakup diet now we're doing christmas that is crazy yeah um um are you like in the

spirit i feel like you are yeah i mean i like london in the christmas like it is pretty winter wonderland there's like the lights there's lots of like festive parties you know like everybody it does and it's cold so for the like stereotypical christmas that's nice but i i kind of feel more christmassy in australia for myself that's where we're from like christmas by the beach red bikini lamb chops yeah seafood yeah surf and turf oh my god australian surf and turf i miss it so much i can't wait but i think in the lead up to christmas i've been watching a lot of movies as you do. I mean, I'm single.

I've got nothing better to do. Yeah. The thing is, it's nice to watch movies. But what movies are you watching? The Holiday. Love Actually. So you're watching rom-coms. The Holiday, to be fair, is one of my favorite movies.

But Love Actually and The Holiday are like serious rom-coms. How to be fair it's one of my favorite movies but love actually and the holiday are like serious rom-coms how's that making you feel it's my second christmas by myself i'm better this time around but it does make you kind of fantasize about the perfect man yeah that's what i that's what i was getting at when i asked you because it like makes you feel like you're gonna find love in you know a weird place like you're walking down the street and you grab a coffee and like you or no i've got it are you ready you're walking your dog down the street it does a poo okay you bend down to you know get the poo as you bend down you like look up and there's a man and he stood right there and he's like don't worry and then i don't know he gives you an extra poo bag don't know why i'm going with this story and then you fall in love

like it make it makes you think that you'll find love in the most inconvenient, not, it makes you feel like you're going to find love in, like, such hopeless places. Yeah, like, you might, but I feel like it's pretty unlikely. Buckle up, bitches. It's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. Nowadays, yeah, people just stare at you and hope that they'll find you on social media or something yeah but yeah like also i'm guessing when you go back to perth like you're probably not looking

that cute maybe this is just me but if i'm on holiday with my parents for christmas and i go into my hometown i am looking like an actual gremlin like the grinch if you must the actual grinch i'm like either sweaty from like a gym and just like slick back bun grease kind of vibe or i'm like popped a pimple walk down i feel like australia in general it's not a romantic place no the australian men will not go out of their way to like chat on you or whatever like they would here or america so like any christmas romantic fantasies in australia it's out the door but like the last few days that i'm here i'm kind of like oh this is the perfect guy like around the corner like he could be in this street yeah he could be in this street.

Yeah. He could be the Uber driver. Yeah, I mean, aim high. It's quite easy to after my exes. Yeah, you've got it. You've got it. Christmas, you need a present. And it needs to be a six foot five man. Yeah.

With abs. Yeah. Good luck. Not a lot of them out there where they are because i'm like towering over these men in the movies they're like all tall and rugged and yeah with jobs yeah that's a problem the movies they're fun they're cute but i feel like if you're a single they can make you more lonely it like definitely amplifies the need for wanting another man. Yeah.

Like this year I've been kind of fine being celibate and just chilling and focusing on work. But, you know, it's December. It's cold. It's all lit up. Like I see couples everywhere more than ever. Like I think I'm noticing them now more. Yeah. top like I see couples everywhere more than ever like I think I'm noticing them now more yeah it's it is definitely because of also like the end of year recapping people are like I don't know

sharing more maybe of their partners because they had such a great year together or the movies are then you know projecting how you have to find somebody and that you shouldn't be single at Christmas and that you're gonna meet somebody in the unexpected spot what got me last year was okay so I had my breakup in October the lead up to the holiday season was so hard because there were all these TikTok trends that's like oh send it to the person that changed your life this year send it to the person that made your year and obviously like i think about my ex because it's like we had such a great time but yeah oh it made me feel so much worse the breakups breakup over holiday season whoa hard i just don't know where to

begin with like between if you're getting broken up between September to December like I am sending you my thoughts and prayers yeah I mean anytime after Halloween really for me I reckon if it's before Halloween you can kind of get the revenge on the outfit whatever after Halloween it kind of goes into couple territory and then, you know, people are really getting cuffed. Yeah, actually, my advice is don't break up with them around Christmas. Wait till we get the present. Yeah, get the present, secure the goods, and then, you know, but maybe you know what you could do?

You could do like an early present thing and then your present just for him just doesn't arrive. And then you go away with your family because you have to spend christmas with your family but they only want it to be a family thing so he can't come oh god i'm so bad and then and then miraculously you break up in the new year and you don't give him his present that you never got but you still get your present checkpoint amazing match point whatever it's called yeah amazing what a way to just like avoid that responsibility it's hard work yeah because that's another thing like the pressure of getting a good gift what do you get men i don't know like more likes for them to like other girls pictures i mean they have unlimited likes.

I'm pretty sure. I'm sure they'd want some more. You're like, if you could send direct messages of fires, like prop. Oh, you can. I mean, like make sure that their DM gets seen. Yeah, basically. So like what do you get? Oh, man.

I'm getting him headphones. And you know why I'm getting him airports like the thing so he can listen to the podcast slay it's a business investment i wonder what it's like for couples that have say that someone's birthday then you've got christmas then you've got like what if your anniversary is random i have his birthday and christmas and it's just rude who why are they so close like are you trying to send me to be bankrupt honestly that's why the christmas gift is way cheaper than the birthday gift the birthday gift i went i went out you know really it was a big bang oh how big was the bang pretty big really pretty broke can you describe in inches no

i didn't even catch on to that because you're like big bang and i'm like oh no you can cut this out you know will you keep it in but no i did not i was not referring to intercourse if you had a breakup but you had gotten your partner a really expensive gift, what are you doing? Are you trying to like refund it? Are you trying to, or you booked like a really expensive gift, like a getaway, non-refundable. What are you doing? Are you still, you still asking him to go? Are you taking your mom?

I'm taking my best friend. Fuck that. He's not going there. I'm taking you. We're going he's not going there i'm taking you we're gonna film an episode of the pod we're gonna cry about on the pod in a nice setting hell no he's not getting that shit after dumping me or even after me dumping him he's not getting any of that fair what would you do if it was reversed so he just didn't want to take you what if he gave it to you like any news so you okay you broke up right

you're scheduled to go on the 28th of december and you break up on the 26th but so you've already got the present oh my god are you taking it to run you're doing a duck and dive out the place so you still spend it or are you just like throwing it back? Like, I don't need your greasy present. Oh, context is everything. I feel like if he did me dirty, I'll do him dirtier and take one of his best friends. If it was like a really heartfelt, emotional breakup that was like painful for the birth of Foss, I'd be like, here, go with your mom. But then what if he goes with like some random girl? Yeah, oh raya hot brunette yeah mentally i'd be like such a bitch but in person in reality i'll be like such a softy and be like just just okay

it's your money like you know yeah you see my advice from other people would be like take it and run what i would probably do would probably not be because because I'd be like, I don't even need it. Oh, slay. I'd be like, fine. That's the best attitude to have. Fine. Take it. Best attitude to have. But then secretly I'd probably still want it,

so I'd be hoping that he would have some attitude back and force it back so that I can go. Yeah. As long as it makes you look like you're on the clear. Yeah, it looks like I'm the good person, but actually. Would you say the romance kind of comes back again a bit more during holiday season? Yeah, I think so. I think it's like cute, especially if you're in London.

It's cold, it's dark, it's miserable. You kind of want to, you know, just have some cuddles and go to the country and drink hot chocolate. Yeah, no, it sounds good. And I feel like that's probably why why as like a single person that the apps go off i'm telling you like december is the month if you are single you don't need to be suffering by yourself there will be people just out here wanting to hang so if you are going through a breakup you got to get on raya basically 100 like you will match with every single fucking person there if you don't already like you will and you will have conversations with everyone because everyone wants someone to like text during the holiday season or to see someone

during the holiday season so my ex we started messaging during december 2022 like during christmas and we like texted each other throughout Christmas. That reminds me of COVID relationships. Like when you first start out and you're like, you know, excited to have your FaceTime. Yeah. Like those FaceTime date errors. Did you ever do that? No.

I was just lonely. Just alone, single, thriving. Oh, I was married and miserable. Oh, there we go. How times change yeah but yeah i feel like if you're going to a breakup at this time there are some pros though they're not just cons like the pros would be that there's more parties so you have more social events so you're out more you're not like alone you're with the people that matter to you like you've got your best friends you're not actually like stripped away from the world also the present you don't have

to get a present you don't have to do small talk with their family if you don't like them from personal experiences when your relationship is not going great christmas can kind of amplify the cracks a bit more because you're trying to keep this perfect image in front of both your parents because it's embarrassing to like bicker in front of them yeah it is awkward to like have a fight i actually heard a story you're gonna like the story so this girl she went to her boyfriend's place for christmas anyway she um bought him an ipad okay no no i got the story wrong so she didn't actually buy him an iPad for Christmas. He just asked her to set it up.

And then, anyway, Christmas is, like, the next day, and so she's found all these messages. So then she goes downstairs to the tree with all his family, takes all the presents that he bought her, but also that she bought him. So just, like, Santa Claus stood up in the sack and drove off. So then, but the whole, she was at his family's house and everything.

And they're like, what the hell? She just told them the whole thing. I found all these messages and then just continue to take all her presents and all his presents she bought him. And I was like, that's kind of iconic fair enough it's the right thing to do from the girl's perspective yeah she was like you haven't given this to me yet but i'm gonna take it yeah think of it as a tax for cheating on me yeah i was like i kind of love that okay why don't we make movies about that? Messy Christmases like that.

That is a good idea, actually. Yeah, I don't see that genre. It's just more like it's a disheveled girl who goes back to her hometown and finds the perfect guy. It's like, no, I want to see the end of a breakup or the start. Yeah, we don't want the whole perfect Christmas, perfect holiday. We want to see the realness, you know know like you don't find love in your hometown no like really who finds love in their hometown you know going through a divorce and then you just pop up and find some guy at

calls like the cashier from calls no like that doesn't happen with a mullet and a moustache like no like one person who may be in a million, that might happen too. But I feel like they're not picky. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, oh, he let me go first in the checkout queue. Like, he's the worst. It must mean something. Like, he's so cute.

Yeah, the cons of having a breakup in this period would be, well, you just feel more lonely. Because it's all amplified everywhere. It's the worst time to go through a breakup. If it was a breakup at the start of the summer, you're like, ooh, like hot girl summer, fuck this shit. It's winter. You're at home. It's cold.

Everyone's having their year-end reflections. You know what I also just thought of is that if you have a breakup and you were dating that guy for a whole year you would look back and be like that year just didn't count it was all for nothing the entire year even if it wasn't you'd probably think that yeah yeah so i was with my person from january to october so you'd imagine how i'd feel in december when you know you see you get like you know how apple makes your year recount of all the videos and the pictures and it's like of him and you're like damn like i spent so much of my time with him this year and like it's hard but it is one of those things where i'm glad i went through

like character building no for sure character building like do you see these muscles huge yeah i'm a strong girl yeah i mean i feel like you have to be strong if you're going to break up in this time like i would hold out until the other the other end almost i'd hold out you know what i would do which might not be unhinged advice, is I wouldn't break up with somebody around Christmas, actually. I'd break up with them maybe in March. You're seeing the light. It also gives you some time to, like, get really hot before summer. Bang.

Definitely. Hold on till then. Yeah. And if you really can't, it's fine because you have you go home so at least that like if you can you go home you spend time with family and you try to create like some new fun things and new memories in that time and you lean on your friends or something like this yeah yeah definitely like christmas is a time to kind of lean into the people that are the closest to you and i think it's made me closer to all of my friends a lot more especially like last year i

spent it with basically all my friends who were single and i just oh it was like the most perfect thing ever because what do you do for the single the single is like galentine's day but christmas yeah day yeah so we did friends giving okay cute um that was really sweet so everyone brought in like a dish and it was just like oh like it makes you think that like i'm complete with my friends yeah like that's you making a new tradition yeah that is fun that is fun that's good yeah and then just like christmas dinner with my flatmate and all our friends like we were cooking together with her mom like it's sweet like life doesn't end when you're single no it really doesn't like i thought i really thought it was because it was like obviously I had one Christmas where when I didn't have my husband like freshly

divorced that was quite like oh like a shock that was such a shock but that was also like a oh my god like I have the whole world around me like and it just gets better like last year it was so fine got closer with my friends this year i'll be fine like i'm spending time with you you definitely gotta lean into like your friends your family you'll always have them yeah you know and if you don't like maybe a pet you always have them you know or smother yourself into work that kind of thing really because it is lonely and it is heightened and it is very coupley and yeah you can easily kind of like zone out of all that coupley pressures when you've got when you've got your friends when you've got your family like you kind of don't care it's just when you're like

kind of alone or when you're like walking around and you just see couples everywhere like i think the lead up to christmas day is way worse than actual Christmas day being alone or anything. Hundred percent. And there's like so much more pressure on the lead up as well. By the time it's Christmas, people are like, hey, let's get it over with. Like everyone is like done. Like your parents and like your family. Like everyone's done with like the pressure of

yeah everything i have a game milma let's play a game a christmas game all right what would you do okay this is the game what would you do if you broke up okay you and your ex broke up and this is like a fresh breakup maybe in like two weeks in yeah and you get invited to go to this christmas party when you walk in he's hand in hand with another girl what would you do it has to be a quick response drink drink drink would you go over would you say hi would you or nothing just drink ignore and drink ignore and drink i don't think i'd have it in me to be able to walk up to him and see a new person like that would actually kill me it's bad as it is for to see your ex like follow people new girls but to see that in person like your replacement

kind of what would you do also if it was a girl that you had a feeling about before see that would kill me that would kill me you know what i would do though then i would walk up i don't think i would before but if it was and i had a feeling and she'd been in the lights and i or she'd like seen my story or something i would probably go up there. Don't have the right to go up there, but I would. Make yourself known. I would be like, hmm, thanks for confirming what I've been on. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to go a bit meaner, but I'm not going to say it because.

Halo. Yeah, exactly. I'm the mean one, you're the angel one. What would you do if you got a drunk text from your ex on Christmas Eve? Would you reply or would you ignore? Being like, I love you so much. You're the best thing I ever had. And then you reply or you don't reply and then nothing in the morning.

Do you just ignore it? Do you acknowledge that he was drunk? What do you do? I'd just give it a like double tap double tap and move on hashtag women in male fields really what's the point yeah that's just no point yeah be hard not to you'd also like see that message and you would be a bit like no it would definitely like overwhelm you but like emotions aside like really what is the point and then it's more awkward if you reply and he's like sorry i was drunk yeah see how embarrassing would that be my ego would not be able to handle that no i don't think so i don't think so either would you ever rekindle

your romance with an ex during holiday season because it's like you you know he's like single you're single still so if i was single would i rekindle no really yeah i told you before if i'm done and i'm actually done I'm seriously done oh shit so no rekindling I mean maybe if I got dumped and I was like still you know hung up on them yeah then I probably might in like desperate need to try to you know trap him but if I actually did the dumping or it was seriously done, I wouldn't. Would you? Yeah. Context, everything. Probably not.

I think now that I'm double therapized, if it were to happen again, I probably would be like, look, if we're exes, we're exes for a reason. Why? Why bother? OK, I've got another one for you. What? So, broken up with your ex and you bump into him during Christmas shopping. I. Caught his knee with the shopping cart. No, I was going to say I would probably hide.

Yeah, I would hide. I feel like if I'm doing my Christmas shopping, I don't think i'll be looking good yeah and also just like meh what would you do if you you and your ex have broken up okay and he then starts like you only broke up for maybe like two weeks and then he gets a new girlfriend he takes a new girlfriend to his like family home he's posting photos of it online all this what would you do if he had a girlfriend two weeks after i'm gonna assume he was cheating on me there must have been a massive overlap what about somebody that's just like very blasé and they're like come with me on holiday meet my family and the girl's like to be honest my ex would pull some shit like that i feel like it happens like i feel like that does happen what would you do

i'd just be like you know what that's my ex that's what they do this would be too awesome no like seriously but it is after two therapists i would be screenshotting it and sending it to my friends i mean like the fuck oh obviously obviously i'll be like talking shit about it because it's like the fuck and i would be liking it too stuff it really oh commenting on it like hashtag women in male fields that's such a man thing to do to like it like it and or like comment on it but Maybe on his. Always on his. Yeah, yeah. Not the girl. Because if she didn't know, nothing isn't actually her fault. We don't like her still because you just don't like her.

But that's a hard thing, too, I think, with a breakup. Like, it's hard not to blame. The other girl. Yeah, the other girl. Even if it's not right, too. Because if they generally don't know and they're just the next girl, it's hard. You can't help but think, like, did she know when she did this to me? Yeah, even just hate them when they're the new one.

Yeah. Maybe that's just a me thing. No, 100%. I relate. Yeah, I don't hate them, but I don't like them. You feel a type of way towards them. Yeah, it's weird. And they could be like the perfect,

they could literally be your best friend. Yeah. towards them it's weird and they could be like the perfect yeah they could literally be your best friend yeah and like they could also just be the perfect girl for your guy and it's like who are we like who are we to like judge yeah yeah we need to knock out we need to take that bad habit and get rid of it what would you do if your ex asked to meet up with you like hadn't spoken to him and then asked to meet up with you around the christmas time look we broke up we ended for a reason so no closure conversation around christmas hell no not during christmas the only cc's you want is chanel 100 100 no c for closure i don't need that shit mature yeah 2024 mature exactly i would hope so okay ilma i think we should talk about the breakup diet survival kit fuck yeah i love that yeah so you're going through a breakup this is how you're going to handle it over the christmas time first one don't watch romantic

movies switch out the romantic if you want to watch a christmassy movie watch like home alone like the elf or something like this or if i was i'd be watching some sort of action spy not christmassy at all but i love a good psych thriller gone girl yeah it's the perfect movie another one would be self-care but like make it bouge you know i'm talking like like light candles have a like nice bath maybe some music yeah something super cute set the lights make it like more like a hotel experience so it's like elevated so last year during christmas because i spent it completely alone in london in my flat i um made vision boards for the new year and that just put me in the best headspace that's a really good idea like a yeah yes I had like a social media um vision board

and that included a podcast could you imagine that's so cute yeah and then like also with like my career with modeling and like how much money I want to make by the end of the year which I also like ticked off like it puts you in the best headspace making a vision board. That's so good. Right? Like, I feel like when I look back into my vision board, you can just make a vision board on the Pinterest app. Um, when I look back at it, it's like, Oh wow. Like I've done everything I want to do with my career this year. I've like done all the mental healing. I've traveled exactly everywhere or what I, like what i wanted to do this

year that's not it's the best way to end the year and journaling i love doing year-end debriefs being like okay name two good things that happen to me every month i think also with the journaling would be fun would be if you are going through a breakup would be to write down how you feel on the day but not a reflection but what you actually feel just on that day you hate him if you miss him whatever that kind of thing oh 100 because it's so good to look back on and see your growth because this time last year i obviously went through the breakup and i journaled a lot i still use that journal to this day and i kind of flick back to last year, and I'm like, wow, I have grown up so much.

Oh, my gosh. So much has happened. It's kind of fun to reread now too. A hundred percent. You're like, oh, my God. But there are times where, like, I think when I would read the really sad journal entries, I'd be like, oh, my God, like, as if I went through so much pain.

Like, you really do, like like feel bad for like her, even though she like doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, that's so sad actually. Did you ever journal your breakup? I didn't. I kind of did, but kind of didn't, if I'm being honest. I did a little bit, but I more wrote something I was going to say to him if I could, but didn't actually say it.

What else would be another good like survival kit hack? It sounds cringy, but you're like, you got this or. Oh, positive affirmations is everything. Like I get through it every day. Like I genuinely use it. It's so good for your mind because you can train like your mind to not be sad. Yeah. And yeah, like even if you write it like your mind to not be sad yeah and yeah like even if you

write it on your mirror in like lipstick people do that like you are enough or something i've heard that before and it works yeah make new traditions so like your vision board that would be a new tradition i think or like baking or like doing friendsgiving kind of fun i would be saving on tiktok which it might be like very nowadays i'd be saving like boss ass songs of like like women in power you know like getting my like she's back you know that is such a vibe making like some fun like tiktoks that even if you don't post them but like you know it's just fun for you to get into that like spirit feel a bit like feeling yourself yeah because you are that girl yeah yeah and booking a holiday or thinking thinking about a holiday so even if you can't go booking one of those dream

ones like your vision board that you want to do when you can. Start messaging up the group chats and say, who's down to do this? Yeah, yeah, literally. Because that makes you fun and excited. And like having something to look forward to like that, it just makes you think like, okay, like this is such a temporary chapter in my life. Like I have so many exciting things to look forward to.

Basically, you need your emergency friend list if you ever get the thought of wanting to text your ex that's a good idea you text them instead also another thing i would think would be fun would be to play the what if game like we did it might be a bit time wasting but it's kind of fun to feel like what would you do if your ex was right there? What would you say? It's kind of like therapy, get it out, you know? Oh, a hundred percent. Sometimes you just need to kind of fantasize things just to let go of it.

Okay, so you're in the family situations, you know, coming around Christmas. I would have some pre-thought of things that I would be saying if, you know, you don't want to have that conversation about why you're single or why you broke up. I would be like, no, Uncle Jerry. Sorry, like my stomach really hurts because I'm on my period right now. So I got to go. Or I don't know.

Mom really needs help with the potatoes. You know, you've got to have your exit route. Oh, yeah. You definitely need your exit plan with the potatoes you know you've got to have your exit route oh yeah you definitely need your exit plan with the families asking you all these questions and even maybe you tell your mom or your dad or your sister or whoever if you can like trust them with that and be like can you help me if i get stuck because it's a really tough time for me to whoever who's single you've got this you've got this and good luck and merry christmas guys