The Break-Up Diet - Trust Yourself. Build the Life You Deserve. Part 2 with Lydia Mae

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Breakups don’t just end relationships — they strip away the noise and force you to face yourself.In Part 2, I’m joined again by Lydia Mae, breakup coach and Reiki therapist, and we’re talking about what happens next. How to stop holding on to what’s gone, start trusting yourself again, and rebuild a life that actually feels aligned with who you are now.We talk about why breakups can be the most transformational turning points in your life, how to build self-trust in small everyday moments, and why letting go isn’t about losing love — it’s about returning to yourself.Because when you stop seeking validation and start listening inward, everything shifts. Your boundaries strengthen. Your intuition gets louder. And you begin making decisions from clarity instead of fear.This isn’t about rushing your healing or pretending you’re fine. It’s about learning to trust yourself enough to move forward — one small step at a time.If you’ve been wondering whether this breakup is the beginning of something better… this episode is for you.Press play. Your next chapter starts here.Connect with Lydia Mae:TikTok: @LydiamaecoachingBook a 1:1 session with Lydia:https://www.lydiamaecoaching.com/book-a-session-1Explore Lydia’s breakup support courses:https://www.lydiamaecoaching.com/breakup-courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey guys, before we get into this week's episode, I would like to tell you that this is part two of a two-part episode with Lydia May. So if you haven't listened to last week's episode, I suggest you go back and listen to it because this one won't make sense otherwise. In part one, we talk about losing yourself after heartbreak, not feeling chosen, why breakups force you to kind of rediscover who you are. So if you're interested in any of those things and just in general you should go back so go back if you haven't already and please listen to part one with lydia may and then come back and tune in to part two this episode and hear the rest of the thoughts basically in this part of the episode we're talking about how to choose yourself so if you want

to hear that and i'm sure you do come back and tune into this episode buckle up bitches It's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. Your whole life just feels like, and your whole future, you know, just feels like it's undone from a breakup, even though this breakup might not have even been like a long relationship. Absolutely. And like it can be breakups can, as I mentioned earlier, they can really strip away those like,

like illusions and it kind of forces you to turn inwards. Because sometimes when we become, you're a we and then almost overnight, well, overnight, you are, you're an eye, right? Yeah. And that can be really like unsettling. But I think the main thing is that like allowing yourself to really take that as an opportunity to, to dig deeper and give yourself that validation that you might have been searching for another areas. And I think breakups, because they strip away all these illusions and there's this sudden silence afterwards, which can feel very scary, but it's also in that silence that we can start to rebuild. And also

we're faced with these kind of truths that we might have, like we kind of, maybe couldn't or wouldn't face in the relationship because the most amount of growth doesn't really happen. Growth doesn't really happen too much in comfort. Like if we're just cracking on, we're like, oh, it's fine. I feel comfortable. It's all good. Like, whereas it's when we're in these like kind of really stressful situations or these situations that like challenge us a lot, it's those situations where we're able to grow a lot because we're doing things. We're testing our resilience. We're kind of looking at more internal resources. Whereas like in a relationship, we might be seeking a validation from that person. Whereas when you're that stripped away,

or just by yourself, it's like, oh wait, hang on, I've got to be the source of this now. Yeah. And it's because you're kind of forced to do that that you end up soul searching and building a beautiful relationship with yourself, etc. And by the way, I want to caveat, I'm not to say that you can't feel like this in a healthy relationship. Of course you can. Like, there's a lot of people that already feel all these things and things like that

as well. But I just think sometimes breakups can be a really big highlight of that as well, where we might not have been kind of giving ourselves that validation and giving ourselves that support that we might need. You know what I think's kind of, difficult though is with the breakup and having that knowing where to start with like giving yourself all that validation and you know feeling good from the inside out and turning up from yourself it's quite hard to know where the hell to start because i'll be honest like i have a breakup podcast

you know and like i'm talking about all this sort of stuff all the time but still i have not made like my goals for this year or what i really want to do and or what i really really want to even as a partner and I don't know how or if this is relatable but I find it really hard to write it down yeah you don't have to write down I know but I feel like I should write it down I know I like I think it's an interesting one because I think people often view it's like healing work right and I try and avoid that that word quite a lot because it's like it's literally just like it's like a labor of love it's very much like just a beautiful time for you to explore and there's like no precious like if you don't really fancy like getting a

journal out and writing down the list of things. It doesn't have to be that. It can look like, it can look like you just going on a walk to the shops and just voice noting yourself a couple of things that like light you up. If it's like, you know, it's really about finding your flow with it and what works for you. So some of my clients

do, they don't really like kind of writing that much in their journals. So they actually prefer to use voice notes on the journal app on iPhone, which is amazing by the way. And you can initially, it's all locked voice notes. It's a journal app and it's on iPhone. Basically it's like you have locked voice notes. So you can just send and you can also put like type in dire to do you take photos and add them all in and it's obviously like locked with your face.

So it's very secure. But yeah, it's like about like people can so much go for a walk and be like bam, just going to voice note myself. I would do that. What I just find hard is like I, before I go to sleep, right? This is the time that I often think about number one, podcast episodes and like what I want to talk about. What's current going in my life that I think I can like add to and give some advice or tips or whatever. But then also I always try to think about and I don't know if this is like manifestation or this is really sad or whatever, but like what I want in my future. And I think,

I think this is me manifesting that I'm not sure about what my life I kind of want and feels right. But to actually write it down as hard. So I think that would be amazing, this journal app. But then also what I find really hard too is, yes, I know all the values that we should want and stuff.

And I think I know what's important to me. But sometimes I get a bit confused on what's actually like, really important and what's just important. So I actually, I'll send this to you afterwards. I actually have a document that I do with clients. It's the core values worksheet and you have like hundreds of values, all the values like possibly think of and no doubt there's more. But you basically like go down to the 25 and then you go down and you from that 25,

you choose a top 10 and you kind of really sit with it and you have like your top 10 values. And not to say that nothing else is important to you, but it's like actually a really good exercise because it gets you to really sit down and think. but also like your values can change. They can evolve as time goes on as well. And I think, yeah, it's like I don't guess not worrying about being too kind of prescripted with it, just kind of like thinking like actually like at this stage I feel like loyalty is very important to me.

On this stage I feel like ambition's important. But like wherever it might be like, but allowing yourself to kind of evolve as you and flow as you as you go on with life and you grow as well. How many then also I feel like people might get caught on picking too many. Too many what values. Yeah. And being too, yeah. And then you're like, well, what have I not picked?

And that's kind of why I like doing the exercise. People find it really hard to go from 25 to 10 and like reduce it as well. And it's more just to get people really thinking. It's not to say you need to discard the other 15 values and they're no longer important to you. It's just more to get people to really think about what is really important to them. So it's just more doing it like that. And you can have loads of values that are important to you, but some that might be more so than others. But also I think with the kind of like the journal app and I was saying like that that's a really good way of doing things.

things, but like sometimes, so for me, I'm really into my movement. And so my kind of 10 minutes a day that I give to myself will be like dancing. It will be like doing somatic shakes. It'll be doing a bit of rakey. Like, and mine's more movement where I actually am not an average. Don't you wrong. I love to think it's amazing. Love journaling. But I'm actually not someone that journals every single day. I'm someone that if I'm feeling a bit stagnant or a bit icky, I'll be like, I'm going to shake. I'm going to like stretch. I'm going to do this. So it's like where some people might like, again, keep doing those voice notes. So it's like really finding what works for you,

what's your outlet that you love? And like it doesn't become this like chore. Because if you really wanted to do it, you would have like the list. You probably would have like done it as soon. And you see what I mean? Because it probably is not the type, the frame the way that you want to do it.

It might be that you want to speak it out or maybe put it out into a picture or whatever it might be, you know, rather than a list. You might want to do it a different way. Yeah, it's weird too because I like lists in general. I always find like when I'm doing something for this, for that, like I like a little list. Like, you know, even if I don't take it off it, like I like to see it visually. But then the actual thought of me writing down all this stuff, I mean, I haven't done it.

Like, I can't do it. I just feels like such a chore. What do you think of the barrier is there? Like, what do you think it might be? Do you feel like a bit exhausted at the thought of doing it? Is it like, oh, I don't really know if I'm, like. I think it's more just like, I don't know what I really want. Yeah, that's okay.

sometimes it takes just like maybe getting pensed paper or pressing player in the voice note and it's allowing that flow to allow us to like really get out what we want and it might be that you're talking to yourself for 20 minutes and then you're like have the little nugget at the end like ah that's what I've been wanting yeah sometimes it takes a little bit of like flow to get that kind of creative like you like you really kind of allow yourself to like relax into it and understand and give yourself a chance to it because sometimes the biggest breakthroughs I've had have been when I've like again been like writing completely and utter random stuff in my journal and then been like whoa okay wow i didn't even i didn't even realize i felt like that oh no i course i feel that that that really hits yeah and it's just kind of come out of nowhere um so it's like yeah just allowing yourself to be really relaxed and just in a safe space and then just let things flow and it doesn't have to look pretty the bullet points to have to all line up they don't have to be the same length like it's like literally just allowing yourself to just be like kind of a bit messy with it because it's in the mess that we often find those those nuggets And that's the thing, you know, with like when I said it just before being in bed and like going to sleep.

I'm thinking about all different ideas all the time. But that's also another thing that I struggle with with like journaling or getting my thoughts out there is I jump from so many different things. And then I go down one avenue that I get so distracted that then I'm like, hold on. What was my initial thought that I wanted to like answer? I think voice notes might be your new best friends. I mean, that does make sense. You can literally like be talking. I've just thought about this.

Oh, hang on, let me go. Like, you're catching all of that in real time. Whereas when you've got pens of paper, whilst I love it, you're like, hang on. And then you're like, stop, whereas you've literally catching it all in real time when I'm recording. So your new bestie is the journal app.

It's good. It's very good. I'm going to take that on board. I'm actually going to do that one. And I'm going to let you know when I do it. Yeah. Feedback. Let me know how you find it.

Okay. My last internal thought that I want to ask you that I feel like lots of people struggle with or ask themselves is, is this actually the start of something better? Like, is this breakup actually for the best? Yeah. I, like the biggest,

I biggest believer that breakups are the most transformational and pivotal points in people's lives. People often say their breakup was their breakthrough in life. And it's because of literally everything we've discussed today, it forces you to go internally and look for answers within yourself because a lot of maybe the comfort and the maple, or normal is kind of stripped away. then we have to really discover what our new normal is.

But then there's also a chance to go back to the drawing board and be like, okay, where have I not really been living in alignment with what feels right for me and what feels authentic to me? And I think when people go through a breakup and then they really start to align with their values and hold boundaries and start speaking their truth, what happens is they become really super authentic. Because what they're saying, this is congruence between what they're saying and how they're feeling and how they're acting as well.

there's this is alignment and when that happens someone is being very authentic and one of the most magnetic frequencies is authenticity when someone is being really true to themselves that is the most magnetic attractive energy and so that's why people often glow up after a breakup when they kind of do that work and they rediscover themselves and they're living from such an authentic place and not being afraid to to speak up on things not being afraid to set those boundaries not being afraid to speak up on their needs and things like that. And it's from that, that authenticity is the very thing that makes people magnetic. But how do you get the courage to be able to do something like that? Because I could imagine if you're not used to speaking up in your boundaries or, you know,

voicing an opinion when you, like, haven't done it for years maybe in a relationship. Yeah. How do you gather that courage within yourself or are there any tools that you could use to be able to then do that? Start small. Don't overwhelm yourself by putting your hand up in like, a whole thing of people being like, I want to say this. If that scares you, don't worry about doing that. Make it start small and like little moments where as, it's kind of what I mentioned earlier, like tuning into yourself, what do I need? And that's kind of building on that self worth and holding small little boundaries,

but with yourself first thing. So not boundaries of other people, but boundaries of like, maybe I'm going to not do this. Maybe I'm going to say this. Or like little thing that you think matters to you, keeping to those boundaries every time you hold to a boundary that you set for yourself, view it like a little deposit in the self. worth account. Because it's like you're going, oh, hang on, I matter. My knees matter. My boundaries

matter. The more you do that, the more you'll build that self-worth and that confidence and that will make your voice, that'll make you be more led by your intuition, but it will make your voice louder because it'll make your inner voice louder and it'll want to kind of come out of you a bit more because you know that you're worthy. You know that your voice matters. It's like that as being internal, not just physical change. Yeah, absolutely. The go-up really is from within. And when it happens within, it emits outweigh. broadly as well. You've been like, God, you're glowing. But like nothing really is in many ways changed, but internally everything's changed. And that's why people have become, it's because

you're more of a magnetic frequency when you kind of done some of the work and you're in a, you're being really authentic. That's that magnetic frequency, which is why people can be like, flipping out. Like, you're glowing. And obviously, yeah, you can take some collagen and glow. And I just obviously other things by some of my skincare, which I know a lot of people get into during breakers and sleep and things like that. Of course. It's like loads of aspects, but it really does start internally. And I think what causes the glow up is a regulated nervous system and being, like, getting out of that fight or flight and just being in a position where you, like, actually feel more calm internally. Like, your internal state is calm. And when you are in a

calmer internal state, you're able to make better decisions rather than being really reactive, like instant knee-jerk reactions. You're able to just like have a bit more, be a bit more considered about like what you want and whether those things are in alignment with what you're doing and things like that. So there's like loads of it. But I think it also really looks like the glow up is very much like just holding first. as I mentioned in your boundaries and also choosing discernment over attachment. So yes, you might feel attached to someone, but if your discernment comes in, you're all a bit like, actually, this doesn't feel right intuitively as well.

Can you explain discernment? I'm going to be honest. I don't know what it is. It's just kind of like the, like, it's almost like, put it this way. It's almost like being in, like, in tune with your intuition, right? Like using discernment and kind of looking at situations and like working out, like being a bit more measured, if you like, about what you want to do. So maybe like looking at a situation being like,

I know I might feel attached to them, but does this feel right? And I think when you do that, you start to shift from this place of like, instead of like, do they want me? Does this person want me and freaking out about it? Instead being like, wait, do I want this? Like, is this actually right for me? Does this feel right for me in my body? And making those decisions rather than, obviously,

we want to be heart led in some ways as well, but not allowing our attachment or fantasy of someone to cloud our judgment on what actually our body is telling us as well. Super important. and don't do that. You become, when you have that kind of internal glow up, you become more self-led rather than led by external validation. You're like, actually, I'm leading myself,

because I know where I'm going on, and I know more than anyone what I want and what I need. Therefore, who better to lead myself than me, rather than other people around me might be, like, validating me externally, but you can't build a foundation on that because you can go away at the click of a hat, you know? You've got to be self-led.

That's good if you, like, trust yourself, but for somebody that doesn't trust themselves, then it's really hard because you're like, how am I meant to be making these decisions? Great decisions and going on the right path. If like I have nothing to prove for it yet. This is why I always say intuition is literally like a muscle. Like the more you work on it, the more you trust it. And it turns out to be, you know, a healthy decision for you and serving you, the stronger it gets, the louder it gets.

The more you learn to like be led and trust it. So it's almost like when you grow to like trust someone, like the way to trust someone is to trust them with something. Yeah, you have to let go, yeah. So it's like there's that and I think that's really important. But again, it kind of brings back to what I was saying about like building on building that self-trust is those, again, starting small, those small kind of micro moments of you choosing yourself doing things that light you up and like holding firm and your boundaries and things that matter to you and you're building that.

And when you're seeing it kind of support you and kind of like, you know, help you in many ways from oh, actually like that's something that I decided and I did it and it's really helped me or I'm feeling good about that. Like, that's, this is how self-trust built. It's not an overnight click of a finger suddenly I trust myself. It's got to be like an ongoing thing. It's like, some people will take time to trust people because they need to like let their guards down and see how it lands. Yes, and not given. It works the same way with trusting ourselves as well. Just somebody that is like having all these thoughts, do you have one piece of advice for them to know where to start on just this whole glow up and being good with your own self-identity?

The first thing, be compassionate with yourself. I think that's the biggest thing is really just enabling yourself to allow yourself to have those down days. Like, so people get quite stress when they're like doing really well and then suddenly they have this day where they're like really emotional, feeling really stressed. Like it's like, no, no, no. It's on those days that you actually make so much progress because you're really feeling through it. So like don't, I don't want to, like, I think it's really important. People don't overwhelm themselves and just take it day by day and just keep bringing it down to those not micro-imony. You don't need a 10 year plan.

You just need to every day at some point, tune into your body going, how am I feeling? Oh, I'm feeling a bit anxious. I'm feeling a bit stressed. Okay, maybe I want to do a meditation. Maybe I want to go for a run. Maybe I want to call a friend. That's enough.

That's enough for the day. And like not making it this, I think people view this kind of like healing journey and healing work, work quote. But like as this big mountain and it's like people look at it and they're going for a breakup. They're already emotionally exhausted.

And they're like, how the hell do I climb? They look at it like a big mountain. How on earth I'm going to get out there? And you have to get there. fast. Exactly. So it's like it's not about that. It's about like, it's really about kind of just like tuning like looking down almost and like tuning into yourself and going, okay, what do I need right now? Keep doing that. You'll build yourself trust. You'll build yourself, self worth. You'll strengthen your intuition. And before you know it, you'll come leaps and bounds. But don't overwhelm yourself

by acting like it's this big mammoth journey and you don't have the tools to get yourself through because you absolutely do it. The power's all within as well. That's another thing I really think it's important to tell clients is like reminding people, I get every session I have a client and we'll do a body scam. We'll do like a bit of a meditation and breath work. And then I'll be like, okay, you said that you were feeling ex emotion

when you came to the session. Where are you feeling that in your body? And like clockwork, they'll be like my chest or they'll be like, they know instantly. And I'm like, okay, and then we'll do some work around that area, etc.

Whether it's with brachy or what was it, stretches or whatever it might be, yoga poses. But it's again, like allowing them to see the powers within them. They hold all the answers already. their body is the biggest compass. What a great way to end.

Love it. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. It's been a pleasure. Thank you.