The Break-Up Diet - Welcome to The Break-up Diet with Yas and Ilma

Episode Date: September 25, 2024

What would you do if your boyfriend broke up with you just 48 hours after your divorce party? Join Yaz and Ilma as we kick off The Breakup Diet by sharing our most challenging and ironic breakup stories. From Ilma’s dramatic divorce to Yaz's emotional rollercoaster of situationships, we explore the chaos and humor that follow a breakup. Listen to our honest reflections on the unexpected impact of casual relationships and the toxins we say goodbye to in the aftermath.Ever thought about setting up a fake photo shoot to uncover a boyfriend’s secrets? We have, and we share those slightly psychotic schemes along with our fantasies of confronting cheating partners in the most dramatic scenarios. This chapter is a wild ride through the emotional stages of a breakup, from anger to eventual calmness. Laugh with us as we recount these stories and find solidarity in the chaos and creativity that follow a breakup, all in the quest for closure and peace of mind.Ready for some practical advice on post-breakup recovery? We’ve got you covered! In this chapter, we discuss the importance of embracing your emotions, staying active, and even escaping to sunnier locales for a mood boost. We also touch on the therapeutic power of writing unsent letters and relying on friends for support. Plus, we’re excited about the future of our podcast, bringing in diverse guests and perspectives. Subscribe, engage with us on social media, and share your stories and questions for future episodes!Send us a textInstagram:@the_breakup_dietTikTok:@thebreakupdietEmail: [e-mail]

So, Ilma, what's your worst breakup? My worst breakup? My divorce, you bitch! Yeah, true, that's how we met, isn't it? Yes! That was a dumb question. Buckle up, bitches. It's gonna get bumpy.

This is The Breakup Diet. So I'm Yaz. And I'm Ilma, and this is The Breakup Diet. I'm Yaz. And I'm Ilma. And this is The Breakup Diet. This is where we get here. Different clans, different weed. Get rid of all the toxins, all the bullshit. Share some funny stories. So basically we started a podcast.

This is the podcast, if you haven't worked it out. We've started a breakup podcast to talk about all things breakup related share some advice get some funny stories share some of our own funny stories yeah there's a lot of it so buckle up let's go so why don't we start with how we met i was drunk as fuck i mean divorce party what am i gonna be like but hit it off completely and i think like a week after we just caught up being like oh like how's rest of your night and i was like oh i am got dumped 48 hours after my divorce party as well so i was seeing someone for 10 months he dumped me two days after my divorce party not before because i could have celebrated a divorce and a breakup yeah you know what he did he really did

you dirty because he like basically so we met at ilma's divorce party so she was very iconic she had outfit changes she was a long dress and then she was a short dress licking the cake knife it was iconic anyway we also had her new like at the time her current boyfriend had a banner being like new husband all over like got in every single photo which is so rude oh yeah and then group photo he's kissing my cheek so i can't even like crop him out or like blur him out he's kissing my cheek that's just rude because he probably thought like he was gonna i don't know he knew he was gonna dump me at the divorce party he told me he told me yes at your divorce party no no no after the divorce party we like after the breakup we had a call again about it and he was like yeah

like i just felt so bad being at a divorce party because i knew that we were gonna have this like really tough conversation and i was like you couldn't have had this conversation even two days before my divorce party yes i would have been sad but it would have been more iconic because it's like a divorce and a breakup come on now i'm a bit shocked that's disgusting right and then he continued to take all these videos and photos wearing next husband and then he stole my divorce tiara he wore my divorced tiara oh my god yeah what the hell is this guy sorry that's rough like honestly and what then so after like two days later he broke up with you or 10 days two days after he broke up with me and said oh

like why or just was i see ya oh he was just like you know i want to focus on my career blah blah blah and i'm like what career i hate that I hate that. I hate that excuse. I hate that excuse. I mean, I feel like men used to go to war, still write love letters, and then still have time for, like, a mistress in the army, you know? Like, there is always time to juggle a relationship, multiple relationships even, while, you know, you're working and figuring out your career. Yeah, to be honest, we don't ask for much honest we don't ask for much we don't ask for much do we ask i don't think we ask to begin with we're just

here we're friendly we want the vibe and somehow that's like too overwhelming yeah we just want to hang out and that's like oh no like my work oh let me log back onto my computer like oh excel spreadsheet like well goodbye said person bye-bye bullshit that's what we're saying bye-bye to the toxins bye-bye to yeah just bye-bye bullshit bye-bye bullshit so what was hard are you going through your marriage divorce or the situation situation shit breakup i would say situation breakup they play with your head so do you agree oh my god it's like shameful because like after my like marriage separation two days after i was fine i was like in the streets um six months loose on the streetsose on the streets. Loose on the streets. Six months after this breakup, I'm still like, oh, how do I date again? Oh, my God.

The situation. Yeah. The situationship has messed me up way more than my divorce. Like, I don't know if I'd be able to be, like, strong enough to even have a party for that. Like, a breakup party. No. No. Just cry.

Not even. Yeah. I can, like, feel tears, like, coming up. Like, no one warns you of how bad a situationship breakup is. It's such a mind-fucking experience. I think it's because you basically, you don't really have, not that you have anyone in life, but, I mean, like, you have the person. Whereas, like, when you're in a relationship,

you have that person there, like, with you all the time. Whereas Whereas in a situation, you don't quite have them, you know? Yeah, they're like a dangled like, yeah. And especially if they're ugly. The ugly ones get you. The ugly ones get you dirty. Yeah, so bad. Like, because they're like, yeah, you don't think that they would ever do that to you,

but they do that. Oh, but they would do it ten times worse. They do it. They always do it. Honestly, I think you have to date good-looking guys because at least if they do it, they're good-looking, whereas the ugly ones, they're just – But good-looking guys are so dumb. Yes. Not all.

I mean, I mean, you know what? If I want an accessory, I'll go for a good-looking guy. And actually, right now, I'm looking for an accessory yeah you know all right so i've done like i've done the money with the divorce i've gone for the wealth i've gone for um i've got i would say you know i got divorced so not that um then I went for the personality. Terrible. Now I'm just going to go purely for the looks. There we go.

Yeah. That's the next step. That's phase, I don't know how many more phases I need to be in this breakup diet, but that is somewhere down the line. I think that is one of the last phases. And then marriage again. Full circle. Marriage again. Oh oh back at it

and then another divorce party except you bring another plus one and she's another cool bitch that happens to be on the list yeah we'll get her on the pod yeah exactly but i'm not the only one that's been through something super rough in the last six months no there's something in the air there's something in the air because so many people I know are either having serious problems, their life is like upside down, or they're going through a divorce. Not a divorce, sorry. I just looked at you.

I mean a breakup. A breakup. I just looked at you at divorce. Sorry. That was really rough. The spokesperson thought the face off it. No, I feel like there's something in the air. Even I had like a little blip.

What happened? Well, like I didn't have a breakup breakup, but I had like a breakup for like four days and it was rough. It was rough. So you had a four-day breakup diet. Talk us through it. What happened? Oh, yeah.

So this is why we like have come up with the idea to call it the breakup diet um basically i don't know if you've had it and if you haven't had it yeah maybe you didn't love them that much but if you love them you just can't eat for like at least i was talking to my friend about this and she was like um she was like i didn't have the diet she was like i was so annoyed because i was waiting for my glow up and i was like, I didn't have the diet. She was like, I was so annoyed because I was waiting for my glow up. And I was like, yeah, it's honestly really bad. But it's kind of good post. Because you just feel like, you know, hot.

You have a dip in energy. You're like nesting. And then somehow it hits you to get your shit together. And you're like back stronger than ever yeah honestly it's sometimes with a different body sometimes not which is fine but mentally yeah it's like yeah and it kind of makes you i think for me even though it's like four days like it makes you then be like okay what am i gonna do like as in not to get them back or anything like that but like what am i gonna do in my life like that makes me better you know you're upgrading it's like a download

you know on the phone so insightful to have that in four days is quite a big achievement because some people are depressed for six months no no no no no first two days so annoyed not even annoyed so upset right then okay maybe it was a bit longer but it was like a week a week it was like sunday to sunday that it was sunday to sunday anyway first two days very sad very sad and like feeling like you you could have done better you know what i mean that you go through like being really sad then like feeling like you, you could have done better. You know what I mean? That you go through like being really sad, then like regretting stuff and thinking that you could have done something. And then I feel like you get a bit angry. Yeah.

And then after you get a bit like more calm, you know, cause you've sat with it, but you're still a little angry, but you're more calm. That's a scary kind of calm to be when you're like angry it's like serial killer almost like yes yeah i mean yeah i did i almost did something so so you killed someone no like so psycho but i stopped myself so that was good tell us is it legal yeah yeah yeah yeah go on so i have a boyfriend right now so please let's like not

listen to this but oh well block your ears boyfriend so um so basically my friend and i we thought it would be a great idea because to i don't know if i can say this right now you know what i mean i want to say it but basically we had a whole plot to have a fake photo shoot set up so i organized a photo shoot from a brand that my friend owns and then get just a girl at the photo shoot as a model in it for the brand and then have my friend ask questions to find out the truth but we didn't do it we just laughed about it for an hour or two that is psycho yes i didn't do it but it was funny like it was funny no that is iconic but very psychotic i'm kind of scared like do you see my hands they are shaking what we didn't do it okay

well what stopped you you guys had this idea to begin with why did you not go like all the way deranged thinking it's a bit too much like a funny movie slash like do we really care no it was just but it did you know what it did do it did take my mind off everything and it did like make us laugh for a solid like three hours as we were plotting this whole how it was gonna work oh you know what that is girlhood isn't it yeah but we obviously she'd like we never sent anything we never like organized it maybe for next time next time organize like a like a parent trap situation yes yes that's what it was slide into our dms do you want us to organize this for you guys because we can like we've got the creative director right here oh my god i don't know

i want to be known like that oh wow watch well. Watch out. That could be your sidekick. Outside the breakup diet, we're like the situation ship trapper. Yeah, the situation trapper. Loki. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of funny. No, that is iconic. That is iconic.

Have you never done anything psycho? I didn't do it, though, so I'm not actually psycho. I just thought it. Well, I've only really had two relationships and they were kind of in my mid-20s. I think if I was younger when I was 17, I probably would have like pelted their car with eggs. That is like kind of a fantasy of mine.

Take the eggs out of the diet and onto their car. Love. Yeah. That would be kind of funny. What would I want to do? I would just love you know it sounds this sounds bad too i'm gonna come off so psycho but like the franco diet anyway i'm getting so excited i'm getting so excited by the ideas um would be

like say your partner or whatever had like a another person like a mistress or something i just think it would be so it would not be fun actually i'm taking it back it wouldn't be fun but a little bit fun to like see that and then go off because i never get angry but like that would be what like if you like walked into a restaurant and you saw him and you're like you it would be so horrible iconic but it would be kind of fun like i'd throw a drink oh my god that is such a fantasy right it's not just me that rom-com fantasy of like just pelting a drink at his face yeah and like shouting a little bit yeah yeah and then the poor side chicks just caught in the middle being like i don't know he had a girlfriend to begin with yeah and then you become friends with her yeah and then you scheme together against him yeah girlhood i'm telling you men go to war we just scheme and have fun and throw drinks

yeah because misery loves company that is true more the merrier god i'm gonna sound so so psycho actually come on bring it bring it bring it the breakup cycle is here listen if you need some ideas we'll hit us up this is the episode for it i think i think we should just list down like top five unhinged things we should do after a situationship breakup or any regular breakup probably not for a divorce for legal purposes yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know what else you could do really besides those types of things though you know what i'm saying like i think the most fun ones would be the surprising they're like caught in the act oh that is such a dream you know what i mean it's so horrible it'll be so horrible you know actually i'm afraid i'm gonna

redo it i would not like to get caught with my partner in the doing the act but my best friend's partner oh that would be good that would be good oh my god i would be like yeah pig cussing him out like your best friend's man yeah that one's better i do feel like every girl needs to experience just like jumping your boyfriend's i'm your friend's boyfriend i've never done it i would love to like you hear the stories of how shit they treat like your beautiful best friends and you just sometimes you see them and i'm like oh if i like clocked your jaw i'd feel really good just give him a little punch no way no way just like a little like tap yeah yeah i mean you know something to like put them in their place they need to be humbled shitty partners need to be humbled yeah you know that is true amen to that

amen to that so what would you do like for a piece of advice for somebody so like say it obviously depends on the situation like what's actually happened but for somebody going through a breakup like this second what would you think is your number one like your quick guide to like a very general i think the quick guide would be ride through the feelings cry it out as much as you can even if you think that it's like weeks too long that you're crying you're better off just crying it right now get a lot of rest as well take time off work i'm not gonna lie i had a mental health day at work as well where Take time off work. I'm not going to lie. I had a mental health day at work as well where I'm like, oh, like, I can't come in.

Sorry, guys. I took like three days off work to like regulate my sleep. And then, you know, slowly get back to the gym. Fitness, physical health as well. You got to prioritize and don't neglect your eating too much as well yeah like a diet isn't a bad thing a diet has to include food at the end of the day yeah yeah because also make you feel better too oh definitely are you kidding me ice cream with your girlfriends crying about like how badly you got done are you kidding me it's the best

thing ever because it's like adrenaline endorphins everything all at once and then the sleep after yeah you know i feel like i don't know if you're like this but whenever i'm really sad i tend to be really dramatic like i'll go sit in like a park bench and just cry or lying in public in london is the most freeing thing ever no one cares yeah they don't i only had one person walk past me and be like don't cry and that was it really in london yeah no way yeah he's like be happy be happy bro bro i'll clock your jaw but no definitely cried out and just know that it'll get better like time ultimately is the healer which sucks yeah like i wish you could like speed it up but you've got to go through it i think like yeah you've got to go through your feelings and like i said at the start it's like very one minute you're this one minute you're that

one minute you're this you're sad and then you're sad amongst the whole thing but i think something that i thought helped me like very specific would be to write it down like i'll write it down like totally and writing like letters to the ex helps as well not that you're going to send it to him. Yeah. You see, that's like the crazy thing. You don't actually do it. You just like, you'd like do it as if you're going to do it.

Yeah. It's just like the best release ever. What would you say was like your best way of coping? Talking about it with my friends. Like I talk about it so many times and like poor them because you must sound like a um you know like i never had to do this i think actually when i was younger there were cds not that many but we when you put it in your cd player and you know it has a scratch or something it just keeps going like this that's what you sound like to your friends and it's so annoying but like you've got to have good friends that just talk and talk about it yeah your good friends will understand you if they're good friends they'll they'll be there

yeah and then i went to the gym too but but if you're too sued to it like i was crying on the treadmill and then i was like this is a bit embarrassing actually i don't know in london nothing really is embarrassing in public you You can get away with anything. Yeah, there are some weird things. But then I feel like your gym has hot people, so. Yeah. It's just sweat. That's my reason.

My eyes are just red and puffy too. No. Yeah. No. That wasn't the one. When I started doing that, I was like, I got to go home. Right now. Yeah.

But yeah, moving your body of some sort like even like a long walk or something too and you know the probably the best advice get out the uk chase some sunshine yeah from 1d to vitamin d yeah yeah escape because also like if you go away then when you come back you feel reset too yeah yeah and you feel like okay i felt all that emotion it's gone now that's it if you can go away go away yeah if not hibernate and then when you feel like you've rotted enough get out don't get lost in it because at the end of the day you are your own person and you should be able to live on your own because you're all who you have how long would you say you should wait until you start

immediately yeah immediately i agree like immediately because what's the point honestly why wait like what are you waiting for what i hate this whole narrative of like i gotta heal first bitch you're not an athlete you didn't injure you didn't fracture your like i don't know bone or something like yes cry it out because you're a human but then get up move on that's the best way to like and also like there's so many shitty people out there like get to know them all yeah and it's gonna take you a long time probably to find somebody yeah so why wait any further just like get out it's more fun it is more fun and it's more unhinged because you care less and i think because you care less it somehow might attract the right person for you yeah because you also it doesn't feel like you're posing yeah

all your eggs are in the basket even if they might only be in that basket yeah you know yeah they're not because they're still in your ex's basket yeah exactly um but yeah it's definitely i would say go straight away try to even not saying like you have to go on dates but like flirt with the waiter or flirt with like somebody on holiday or you know get the number or something entertainer you don't have to like i don't know hook up immediately but just like entertain the idea of that like you know eventually you're gonna find someone and it's not gonna be by you just you know mourning for X amount of times too long, you know? Cause you're not going to find anybody in your living room.

Like, unfortunately not. The apps can only take you out so much. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Apps are in person. What's better for you?

I mean, obviously I think you, like most people would prefer to just meet somebody in person. Um, but I feel like nowadays it, a lot of it is done through apps slash like i don't see the big taboo about it because you are on instagram half like half the day you're on tiktok half the day looking at people i bet you don't know everybody you're looking at and so like and you're also talking to people on that already i don't get why people get

so weird about limit limiting themselves by not going on dating apps when instagram is basically that oh instagram is for sure now a dating app it's everything now it's all linked in like anything is a dating app if you're brave enough yeah literally like so i'm like and obviously like you have to meet up and you have to work after the meetup. So. Yeah. The effort has to be mutual. You know.

For sure. But I've found that apps work better in the winter time because all the like good men, they're like not in London. They're not going to be on the apps. All the good men from, I don't know, abroad are in London out. So summer is when you want to meet people out yeah yeah and apps work the best personally for me in the winter yeah yeah that is actually very very insightful yeah that's good yeah because like last year when i would be on the apps in the summertime dry if i'd get matches it would be like dates that keep on getting rescheduled rescheduled

to the point that you just kind of give up both of you but winter everyone's here christmas yeah and you just want to like cozy up yeah exactly apps work the best in the winter what is it called um cuffing season cuffing season yeah cuff coughing season is done best from the apps. It's too cold to go out. It's too cold to meet people. The apps will be ragingly active, especially the week before Christmas. Really? The matches I had the week before Christmas.

Everyone just wants someone to cheeky text while they're in their family house i think that's what it is and they get so like oh what are you doing after new year's like i'm back in london from like you know blah blah town um let's meet let's meet no yeah december and january guys oh yeah i've never thought about that i think think with like dating apps, you go from September until April. April. Yeah. And then April to like what? April to September in the streets, girl.

In the streets. Do not be home. Yeah. Welcome to the jungle. Oh my God. The concrete jungle. Yeah. Get on it.

You're doing trips away. Yeah. You're meeting up with people more. Yeah, rooftop bars here, beach clubs abroad. You are not staying in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're not going to be on the apps in those times. You're going to be out.

I think you can be on the apps a little bit. Like if you want to like, if you're away and you like want to. Raya's good for that. Yeah, yeah. Just to suss out what kind of men are out there at the same time as you yeah get scheming you get scheming and like maybe make that little contact because you might be at a place and they're at that place too you know without even having to text them you just see them yeah you just know your bearings yeah yeah you're doing research exactly exactly and that's all right there's nothing wrong with a bit of research everyone likes to be prepared you know we do we do

when you're going into an interview you're prepared exactly exactly it's how you get successful that's right anyway so like enough about that with this podcast we're thinking it won't just be us two so you don't have to just listen to us to us yapping because we we can yap yeah we want to have like lots of different people on so from all different ages too i think right yeah definitely and all like different types of orientations. It's not just going to be us like breeders. Yeah. Breeders. That's what they call us now.

Yeah. Yeah. The LGBT community calls us breeders. Breeders. Yes. I've never heard that. Yeah. Okay.

Well, one breed to another. It won't just be us. It will be all kinds. We will get like perspective from men, from the lgbt community and you know more situations like us as well yeah because it'd be funny to have the male um perspective like for sure for sure yeah like whether it's um they agree with like i think from this is just like a side thing but i think that women take less time to get over a breakup than men like as in like they go through it really fast at the beginning

and not as much later whereas like men i think a few months it hits them yeah yeah but at the start they might not seem to care but maybe maybe maybe we're wrong maybe we'll get humbled real bad on this podcast and never have to air this you never know yeah literally yeah i hope you guys like it and please listen like subscribe and hit us up in the dms if you've got any questions we'll try and address it here as well yeah any stories too like that would be i can't just be all us guys so buckle up bitches it's gonna get bumpy