The Break-Up Diet - You Already Know He's Cheating... You Just Want To Be WRONG.

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

Girls... this one is MESSY. 👀This week, Josefin Eklund is back on The Break-Up Diet and she's spilling the full story of how she found out she was being cheated on. Honestly, by the end of this episode we were both convinced every girl turns into a part-time FBI agent when her gut is telling her something isn't right. 😂We're talking Instagram stalking, zooming into hotel bathroom photos, recognising toothbrushes and hairbrushes, piecing together a million tiny clues, and that awful feeling of desperately wanting to believe someone... even when deep down you already know the truth.We also get into the big questions: Why do people cheat? Can someone who cheats actually change? Can you ever trust someone again after betrayal? And at what point do you stop looking for more proof and finally trust your gut?This episode honestly felt like one big girl debrief. We've both been through heartbreak, we've both ignored red flags, and there are definitely moments in this conversation where you'll either be laughing... or sitting there thinking, "Yep... I've done that too."If you've ever had that horrible gut feeling, found yourself overanalysing every little thing, or desperately hoped you were wrong because the truth hurt too much... this one's for you. 🤍 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do you think people cheat if they're getting everything at home? I was a private detective. Yeah. My own relationship. Because they were trying to find out if they actually were in love with you or not. COVID I can handle but committee or I can't. Yeah. I already had a bad feeling.

I had a really bad anxiety. Was he being extra nice? I went onto her Instagram and she had posted a picture that she was in Paris. Tagged her hotel by the bathroom in the door. There was nothing in the bathroom. Like no toothbrushes. like nothing, which means the person she's win has just

checked in. It's burned in your memory. You're like leopard for three dots here. That does make it look like I'm cheating on you. I can also see that he bought a pair of black heels and I start crying in the shop. He's like, what a shoes? Like, I didn't mind it. I don't know any of shoes. Do you think if somebody cheats once a...

No, I don't think once a cheater or is a cheater. I disagree. I'm sorry. I think like if you're able to do it, it so many time. How do you stop doing that, even if it goes years apart? I was destroyed. I could stop crying. I was, I did not what to do. I know that you've been cheated on. Sorry. Do you think the relationship will ever be the same after something like that happens? Hi everyone. Before we get into this episode, could you please subscribe, follow the breakup diet. It really means the world and it

means I get to keep making these episodes. So if you could please do that, I would be forever grateful. and I hope you enjoy it. Buckle up, bitches. It's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. Welcome back to another episode. Today we have Joosteen back again. Thank you.

And today we're going to talk about cheating. It's something that like when it happens, it's so shit and it's possibly not funny at all. But after a long period of time, it kind of becomes a bit funny. It becomes funny after a few years. I mean, it depends on the story and how it happened. Yeah, to be fair. But normally you can find fun in looking at how you found out, I feel. I was a private detective, my own relationship.

Why do you think people cheat if they're getting everything at home? Oh, I don't know. Why do you think people cheat if they're getting everybody? Putting it back with me. I don't know. I don't know. I think there's lots of different reasons. But I think a lot of them comes down.

to opportunity, insecurity and excitement, excitement, lack of strong willpower. Yeah. Or also maybe they're not feeling like confident in themselves and then they get a bit of a hit from like finding it elsewhere. Yeah. And just trying to get away with it. And if you get away what it wants, you want to get away with it again.

I think it gets easier and easier. Do you think if somebody cheats once, they're... No, I don't think wants a cheater or. always a cheater? I don't think that. Not once a cheater, always a cheater, because I'm not talking about different people. I'm talking about if they cheat on the same person multiple times, do you think they can stop? Doing it to that same person? Not sure.

It depends on why they did it again. That comes back to if they weren't in love with a person in the beginning. Maybe and they did it because they were trying to find out if they actually were in love with you or not. Yeah, I guess, but I think it must be hard. And then they tell you, and if they tell you everything and they come back to you and they're honest with you and say, I regret everything I did, can we try again? Then you think they can?

Maybe. I think there's, yeah. I disagree. I'm sorry. I've not had this happen to me. But I think if you do it so many times, how do you stop doing that? Even if it goes years by, because you've done it so many times already, it kind of doesn't feel as bad to you, even though it definitely is, it's even worse. But you know what I mean?

Because they break it so in times that it kind of doesn't have the same effect. Whereas like the first time they've probably cheated, they probably felt so bad. They probably were having anxiety. They probably were like, oh my God. Well, you would hope? And then when you get away, it gets easier. And so many times, you don't think of, it doesn't feel as bad because like there's been no consequence. Yeah. It doesn't be. I don't want to believe you. Yes. But do you get what I'm saying. I think it'd be very hard. to be like, oh, I always get candy bars and when I'm out, like I always get candy bars and then suddenly you want to stop getting candy bars, but you have 10 times before. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Maybe not. Maybe not. I mean, I feel like it's different to how you do it. If you're planning it, that's worse than just going out and putting yourself in situations where you don't trust yourself. Like getting drunk, maybe. I don't know, go out, like, partying, getting drunk. Like, I don't know.

And then you have a choice to stop doing that. To put yourself in situations where you can't trust yourself. Do you think it's kind of acceptable if you're drunk then? No. No, it's never okay. Yeah, yeah. It's never okay. I just feel like if that's how you've done it before,

maybe that's easier than to stop. Or, like, I mean, taking it to the next step is like planning it, like planning to meet up with someone. Yeah. Sober. Yeah. I think they're both very bad, but I think that's worse. If you're planning sober, that's like setting the motion.

You know what I mean? You're already doing it. Whereas like, I guess if you made a mistake, even though you shouldn't, I guess that's still terrible, but it's a little bit better on the whole scale than if you're free planning it. Agree. Right? Yeah. So we're talking about cheating.

Obviously, I know that you've been cheated on. Sorry. It was like so painfully obvious your story. Sorry, but like Josby was on FaceTime to me and I was like, dude, I can see high heels in the water. And you're like, really? Like this. Like it was bad. I mean, it started with just like a really bad feeling because I've seen he went to, we didn't call him Jack. Okay, we'll call him Jack. That's not his name. What do you call her? Vanessa. Vanessa, yeah. So Jack was going to Paris. I was not invited for a first day.

And then he kind of said, like, you didn't come in, like, come in two days. But you guys were living together. We were living together, yeah. Normally, when he goes on a business trip, he always brings this guy who works with him. This time, he went on his own, which is a bit weird for him. Yeah. So you're already like, oh, unusual. But maybe it's fine.

Yeah, maybe it's fine. And then I started like, I was alone in the house. And he called me and I already like had a bad feeling. I had a like really bad anxiety. So he obviously like felt that when he called me. And he's like, are you okay? Like what's wrong? And I'm like, no, no, I'm fine.

Was he being extra nice? Yeah, not extra nice. But he was being like telling me too many details. Like who is going for dinner with and like he's on his way to dinner. now and um yeah was this the first time that you felt like something a bit weird no no i already felt it before because i've seen messages between him and this girl like a week before where it said like i miss you i know they met up for a coffee okay um did you know that before he went on the trip yeah yeah yeah because he taught well yeah i think he yeah he told me well i saw the conversation

And then obviously he had to tell me. And I mean, a few hours went on. And I was like panicking more and more. I was just feeling like I just had really bad anxiety, like a panic attack. I took two sound like to try and make myself feel a bit better. And then I called him back and I was like, I'm sorry like for not trusting you. But I do have a really bad feeling, especially after seeing all of these like messages the other week. So do you mind just like, oh, wait, no, no, no, this is before what happened before.

I went on to her Instagram and she had posted a picture that she was in Paris. I remember the photo. Yeah, yeah. So she's, she came to Paris that same day. He's arriving at the same time. I could figure that out from like seeing the first picture she posted was from the taxi. And then she was posting a picture from the bathroom. No, from the hotel. It was that she tagged the hotel. Yeah, she tagged the hotel by the bathroom in that hotel.

Yeah. It was a tag hotel cost. And there was nothing in the bathroom, like no toothbrushes, like nothing, which means the person she's with has just checked in. Yeah. And I know he just arrived. So I called him and I was like, could you maybe just show me like on video call now, like the room or like the bathroom especially? Because Vanessa posted a picture and I just don't trust you. I thought there was a first photo of like the view and then there was a bathroom photo later that had a hairbrush and stuff in it.

Oh, no, that's later. Okay. So this is like when she first arrived. Oh, I didn't even see that one. Okay. No. She has a jacket on still. Okay.

Leopard prints. Okay. It's burned in your memory. You're like leopard prints, three dots here. Long leopard coat in the bathroom. Nothing else in the bathroom at that time. Then, well, he doesn't want to show. showed me the bathroom.

Yeah. Then I got into her Instagram again and she's posted a new picture with like wearing like, I don't know, like a black dress. These are important details. Yeah. And then there's two brushes. There's a hairbrush in the background, which means they're either hers or there's someone else. Yeah. And the toothbrush and the hairbrush you recognize because you live with the man.

So you're like that kid. I brush my teeth without toothbrush. Yeah. And I use that hair brush. I brush my hair with a hairbrush. You shouldn't use his toothbrush. No, I do. We share a toothbrush.

That's so gross. You shouldn't share a toothbrush. I think that's cute, it's romantic. That's not cute. That's like your grimy-ass food that you've eaten, maybe like four days ago, still left in your teeth. Ew, that's really gross. That's the problem in the whole story is that you use these toothbrush. But finally will continue.

Yeah. Well, so I did recognize that toothbrush, obviously. Yeah. And the hair brush, because I brushed my hair with that one. Yeah, so you didn't. You screenshot it, didn't you? Yeah. So I'm then screen shot it on the hairbrush, the detail, a little gold detail.

Yeah, you were like, please show me the room because he wouldn't put her on FaceTime. He wouldn't show it. And she was like, show me the bathroom. So he literally sent like the toilet seat, like the toilet. And then he sent like the head of like the shower. Oh, like not the shower. The same side of the shower. Yeah, like something like tiny that you couldn't work out the actual room.

It was like the toilet seat. And we were like, no, we don't want to see that. We want to see like a 360 of the room. sir. Yeah. And he wanted. Yeah. Just film it, video color with me.

And then he showed you the wardrobe. And in the wardrobe, you were like, he never wears jeans. And there's jeans. Yeah, there's jeans. And then I looked and I saw like leopard heels. I saw leopard heels. And she had a leopard jacket earlier on that further. Leopard heels, leopard jacket.

Did you tell him at this point? Oh, yeah. I asked him about it. And he just had answers to everything. He's like, well, that's my friends. She stayed over. She came over. and had a few drinks

and then she left and she always lived things in my room and obviously this is a friend that I met Yeah so I don't know he like he sounded He sounded very convincing But the evidence showed me like it wasn't Yeah it was a lie Did you see anything else from the girl's story

Obviously because I told him that she's been posting these things Then he obviously spoke to her She blocks me Did she? Yeah. I didn't know that. She blocks me. And then I called him back and I'm like crying again, obviously.

And then he's like, well, I didn't know she blocked you. Like, yeah, that's weird. Oh, no. Him saying that. He's like, yeah, that's weird. Why would she block you? That does make it look like I'm cheating on you. Well, it is.

Yeah. And also, if she wasn't like with him, how did she know to block you? Yeah, I know. Yeah. I know. Because obviously he said to her, like stop posing. This is like, I don't know what he said. This like crazy person, me.

Yeah. Is, um... You're stalker. I don't know. I'm stalker. Yeah. Yeah, he probably did say that. I was destroyed.

I couldn't stop crying. I was, I didn't know what to do. So I was trying to like make a joke out of it. So he told me he's got COVID. So I just. I printed out this picture of her from his hotel room. The photo with the hair, the leopard probe. Yeah, yeah.

On condoms. There was like this website where you could make like custom, custom, condoms. The text was, what was it? COVID I can handle that committee or I can't. Yeah. He didn't find it funny, though, did he? Obviously not.

He was embarrassed. Obviously, he was embarrassed when he got back. How did you give them? I had the condoms ready. I gave him to him on the table. You just like chuffed him on the table? Yeah. Like literally like... I picked him up. I was so nice. I picked him up from the train station.

And he calls me from the train station and he's like, my bags just got stolen. Like someone just took it from him at the train station at, what's it called? Karma. Sorry. Yeah, karma. Yeah. It was karma. That was karma. And I didn't even feel bad for him. He had COVID, got robbed at the train station. I helped him go to all the shops to buy whatever he bought in Paris. Which was also weird because there was like girl's shoes on there that weren't your size. Yeah, his PA sent me screenshots of everything he bought in Paris.

Yeah, to go, while he was being sick at home in London, and you then went out to go buy all the other stuff for him as well. Yeah, to be nice. And for him to be bad about it. Yeah, yeah, fair. So, and then I was in this shop trying to find one of the things that someone stole from him. And his PA sends me a screenshot of the jacket or, whatever I was looking for.

And in the screenshot, I can also see that he bought a pair of, like, black heels. And I start crying in the shop. I couldn't stop crying for, like, an hour. Yeah. And I call him, and I'm like, so sad. And, like, I don't know. Do you ever ask him who the heels were full? He's like, what shoes?

Like, I didn't mind him. I need any shoes. He could have just said, like, it's for my daughter. It's for, like. Anyone else? Yeah. It's, for my mom. Like, I would believe him because I so badly wanted to believe him.

If it was just a little bit of truth in it, I would take anything because I just didn't want to feel that hurt in that moment. Yeah, you don't want to believe that you're feeling correct. No, no. Do you think you would want to know now or you don't want to know? I would want to know if it came to me and said, like, I want to be honest, what do you about what happened? But I don't feel the need of, like, finding out myself. of skip forward to like a few months later. Mm-hmm.

Do you think, though, that that then implicates your relationship after? Because if you fully, because you never really know. Whereas, like, if you did know the truth, whether it be the worst thing ever, like, yes, you'll confirm that you hundred percent did Chi and, like, you've lost all that hope of maybe I'm overthinking it. Do you not think that it's better to know that for later down for it to actually work, then always second-guessant? Yeah, because after that, I kept second-guessing. everything, even when he was innocent and he did something, like even just going to the shop on his own, because every morning, like, we used to go to the shop and, like, get a match shot together. If it was, like, one morning where he just went without me, I would be like, oh, that's because

he's going to, like, meet someone else. Did you bring him up to him when you had those thoughts? Or did you kind of, like, sit on them? Sometimes I did. But I had those thoughts, like, every day. So when you do want to stay with somebody and you think they have cheated, like, that's situation, how do you get them to then rebuild trust? 100% transparency.

I do know whatever, like, whatever it's needed. Give them passcode to your phone. I don't know if that's like... Talk about your situation because I think like what, in your opinion, what would you, what did you need in that situation? With this girl's specific, like, block her. I said, I want him to like have no contact with her. He did block her in front of me. Yeah, I don't know.

I remember you telling I'm going to help you because I remember you telling me when because your trust had been broken something that you kept saying was like I want you to stick to a promise so if you say you're going to go out for the night and you're going to be back by 10 be back by 10. Don't be back by 1 a.m. 5 a.m. That's like that's such an easy thing to to do. It doesn't have anything to do with cheating. Yeah, yeah. But like it's just I want to be able to trust you. Don't just say I'll be back. 10, just show me that you're back at 10 by actions. Like, you don't have to come back at 10. If you're out and you don't want to come back at 10, just text me, like, always like, keep me

updated. Yeah. Would you ever ask the girl? Would you ever message, like, maybe not in this situation, but would you ever message the girl if you weren't sure if your partner was giving you the right answers? I don't think I would. Would you? I don't think so either. No. Why not? Because I don't know if they have no relationship with me. I think you've got quite a big chance of like I'd like to say, if a girl message me, I would tell them. I would tell them, too, like that happens to me.

But I don't think a lot of girls would because they don't want to get involved in somebody else's drama. Well, she's already involved. I know, but it's different when you're like, if you're finding out about somebody else, I feel like a lot of people wouldn't like stir the boat, especially if they want a relationship with the man as well. Are you worried that it's something that you might take it? taken to any of your other relationships? No.

So you're somebody that trusts until it's broken? And then you're like... Oh, yeah. Yeah, 100%. Have you ever felt like that before with anybody else? Where you've found, like, not trusted them? Or have you trusted everyone else you've been with? I've trusted everyone else.

Like, he's the only one I didn't trust. With reason. Yeah. To so many ways. Yeah. Like, if you were to stay in a relationship with this man, hypothetically, if this kept happening, like, if he kept... on you.

Yeah. Do you think you would have a point where you would actually walk away or not? Oh, yeah, yeah. I would come to a point. But that point, that would be like, he would need to do a lot. So there already mean a lot. You know what I mean? Yeah.

How many things are a lot? Too many. Like, too many things. Do you think you'd have to see it live for you actually to walk away? Do you think you would have to have full, thrown, hard evidence in your face, you're watching. Yeah, maybe, maybe. No, babe, no.

Yeah, I think so. You're like walking on something. Surely that's not going to happen. That's quite hard to catch somebody having sex. Number one, somebody has to open the door, unless they're opening the door shagging. Yeah. How do you think you, how can you rebuild trust?

Real rebuild trust, I think, is all about, like, being transparent communication and sticking to your word. And then also, I do think you're, have to talk about it. You have to talk about it. And I think they have to show you. They have to do things that show you that they're not going to do that. Just not like words. No, it's actions. They actually show you that they can trust you and with like how they, with what they say has to match what they do. Do you think then, okay, for cheating to actually be like, for you to get back into the relationship, do you think that has to be a proper consequence of, for example, in your

case, moving out, blocking him for a set amount of time so that he actually feels it, so then be back together. Maybe if it happens more than once. If it happens once, then I think it's enough to just talk about it. When you talk about it, what are you asking? Why did you do it? I would want to know, like, why did he do it? Am I not enough?

Like, what's wrong with our relationship? Like, what to do you need anything else? Like, do you want to be with anyone else? I would appreciate if you just told me about it instead. of like doing that behind my back. Yeah. And I would want to like ask all of those questions that came to my head about it. Yeah.

But obviously like him getting away with it, he thinks he's getting away with it. But he's also not because I was so hurt after that for like a long time. And obviously being with someone that's so that hurt and like crying all the time and like having to double guess everything. That's not fun for either. Yeah. It's also not nice to be in this space where you feel like uneasy because you want to be having a nice time with that person and be able to like let them go away or let them go for lunch with a friend and not being like who they're going for lunch with. But you don't want to be, I think also a relationship isn't healthy when you're always just you two together. Like I think you have to be able to have a lone time and be independent of your partner.

And you should be able to trust your partner when he goes for lunch with a friend. Yeah, or even away. You shouldn't have to. It's not, like, obviously something is wrong if you feel like, if you even think that it might be someone else. Would you ever set off a trap? No. No?

Would you never ever? No. He sets up to traps for himself. Yeah, fair. I don't think I would either, but it would be kind of fun. Like, if you think about it, like, imagine you could send, like, a friend that he doesn't know anything about or anything that's super hot and just, like, get them to. to like low-key flirt, like, as in and see if he would flirt back.

You don't want to know. I know, but I wouldn't want to know. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't want to know. I don't want to be that person who would do that because I don't want to believe that about him. Yeah, fair. I mean, I wouldn't do that, but like also it would be, it would be kind of fun to do, to be fair.

Like, as in a, so that it's not fun. It's like a movie. Yeah, I mean, it's not fun. If it works, I mean. It's not fun when it's you. As in, it's not funny if it's your relationship that you're doing something for that for but if it's like as in i'm thinking about it oh i'm like oh ha ha but then it's not funny because i'm not i'm not the one in the relationship i'd love to do that for someone else if they wanted to find out

if um a partner is um cheating on them yeah like an undercover i would want it that's my dream like yeah it'd be kind of i was gonna start a company grethas lansom but and do what um detective work detective work yeah and my clients would be women like married women or men or men who wants to find out if the partner is cheating on them that's a great cases too i'll take that onto do you think cheating is a choice or a mistake it's always um just it's black or why it's not always a mistake do you think is it you have to answer black or why is it is it a choice or isn't a mistake no it's a choice yeah it's a choice yeah well there we go, that's the end of the episode on that note. It is a choice. So choose correctly.

True.