The Break-Up Diet - You Don’t Even Know If You Like Him... You’re Just HOOKED. ft. Rose Viggiano

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

Have you ever been OBSESSED with whether a guy likes you... only to realise you're not even sure you actually like him?This week I'm joined by relationship and attachment specialist Rose Viggiano to talk about why we get so hooked on certain people, why we keep dating the same type over and over, and how our attachment patterns might have way more to do with it than we realise.Rose opens up about her own history of choosing emotionally unavailable partners — chasing people who couldn't commit while finding the safe, secure ones "boring." Eventually she saw the pattern and went all in on studying attachment, trauma, and what actually makes a relationship feel secure.We break down the attachment styles — anxious, avoidant, secure and fearful avoidant — and what they actually look like when you're dating. Because sometimes you think you're just really into someone, when actually you're checking your phone 100 times a day, analysing their replies, and panicking because they haven't texted back. 🫠And THIS is where it gets interesting.Rose explains why inconsistent attention is so addictive. They text you constantly... then disappear for three days. They get close... then pull away. Suddenly you're desperate to know where you stand, and the chase starts feeling impossible to walk away from.But if you actually stopped and asked yourself "do I even like this person?"... the answer might surprise you.We also cover the early dating red flags to watch for, why we make excuses for people who aren't giving us what we want, and what a secure relationship is actually supposed to feel like.And obviously... we talk breakups.Rose explains why an avoidant can be the one to end things and then come back weeks or months later, why your attachment style can look completely different after a breakup, and how rejection can make you question whether you were ever good enough in the first place.If you keep chasing emotionally unavailable people, checking your phone waiting for a text, or wondering "why does this ALWAYS happen to me?"... girls, you need this episode. 🤍Find out more about Rose:Website: www.roseviggiano.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/awakeningrelationships/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

how you got to where you are today. I had many years of terrible, horrible relationships. Attachment wounding was at the root of everyone I had chosen my whole life. I need to ask you about what the attachment styles are. There are simply ways that our nervous system learned to survive whatever we experienced as children came from childhood trauma and attachment wounds. But just like a slot machine at the casino,

keep putting your money in, hoping for that big payout. How do we stop ourselves getting addicted to a pattern like that? We are attracted to what's familiar, even if that relationship has no merit for us. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 22. So I waited a long time and then my first breakup that I had with him after like two and half years, I was so sad for so long. Breaking up is like trying to tip over a vending machine a little before it. finally falls over. Is it actually true that that means I'm unlovable? No. Can your attachment style

be different when you're in the relationship and then how you break up too? Buckle up bitches. It's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. Rose Vigiano, welcome to the breakup diet. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for coming on all the way over. Where are you based. You're in the... In California. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And you're a relationship and attachment specialist. Correct. How did you get into that? Talk us through like how you got to where you are today. Well, I come to it naturally, which is that I had many years of terrible, horrible relationships. Oh, no. Basically, you know, they say you teach what you most need to learn. And so that was my story. It was like I had a whole other career. And eventually when I had a breakup with my daughter's father, I realized that attachment wounding was at the root of everyone I had chosen my whole life.

And that got me into a deep dive on attachment, on trauma, on how to build healthy, successful, secure relationships that eventually made me leave a super successful six-figure career in the television business and, start doing this full time. So it was after a few times that you noticed you were maybe dating the same type of person and then it kind of made you be like, okay, I need to break this person. 100%. So what I saw is that I either got into relationships with safe, secure people who wanted to be with me and then I thought they were boring and I couldn't commit to them or I would go after people who were unavailable, who couldn't commit, who had,

maybe addictive tendencies whose attention was all over the place. It was like it kicked in, like, I have to have this person. And then I would do, I would over function. I would do everything to keep the relationship. I would chase after them to try to get them to commit to me. And eventually it would always turn out, of course, that they couldn't or wouldn't. And then I would be left wondering, how could this happen to me again? I need to ask you about like what the attachment styles are because I feel like it's quite confusing. This can be very confusing because what attachment styles really are are adaptations. There are simply ways that our nervous system learn to survive whatever we experienced as children. And that's a combination of stuff we experienced from our

caregivers, what happens socially, the kind of culture we grow up in. And whatever way we experience love and safety and security as children, we had to adapt to the that. So if love was basically consistent, then we were able to consistently let it in, focus on ourselves and others at the same time, and kind of have that give and take with love. But if it wasn't, we created these adaptations. Would it matter then if you had consistent love from, say, one parent, but not the other? Would it then make that much of a difference? It does. So from a research perspective, it says we only need one secure parent to develop. secure attachment. Of course, attachment is not only related to our parents. We could have grown up

in an environment where there was war or a culture that was very dominating or we could have had a terrible situation at school or with people outside of our parents. So childhood trauma in general relates to attachment very deeply. But yes, if you have at least one secure parent who you can go to, who you feel safe with, who's emotionally attuned to you, who gets it right enough of the time. And then when they don't, they come back to repair. When we grow up in that environment, it really sets us up for success, even if we have terrible experiences later in life. So for instance, it's been researched people that end up after going to war, people in

the military who go to war. The ones that develop PTSD generally came from childhood trauma and attachment wounds. There are people who experience the same situations in war, but if they grew up with that secure functioning, they actually are able to metabolize their experiences at much higher rates and not end up with the PTSD. That's so interesting. It's so scary, though, also, I think, because if you are, like, if you're a child, you don't really have control over that. You would love and everybody, I guess, hopes that they

grow up with like limiting the trauma and like having that secure unit. But like a lot of the time it doesn't. 100%. And this is part of your question from before was can we change our attachment style? Are they, is it sort of a one and done? And we're all a mix of attachment styles. So that means we also already have secure in us because we're born with secure. attachment. That's actually our birthright. We come out wanting secure attachment. And so through our lives, if we're not one of those blessed ones that gets the golden ticket, which many of us, if not most of us, aren't, we do have that in us and we can learn how to become earned secure. So whether you find yourself more anxious or more avoidant or a little bit of the both more disorganized,

we can create the kind of life and relationships where we can build that secure attachment. That's good at least. At least as a like, that we're born with it. So for anyone that doesn't know, what are some types of characteristics of each of the attachments maybe? So like the, if you're anxious, what are you kind of like in a relationship maybe and or? Generally four, right? So that's what people talk about.

And yes, we are a mix of all of them. And yes, it will change relationships. to relationship. So we might show up more anxious with someone we're dating, but maybe with a friend that's very high needs, we might be a little bit more avoidant with them. But generally, when you're more securely attached, you're able to focus on your needs and the other person's needs in a balanced way. You can communicate, you can repair, you can feel fairly comfortable in relationship. Whereas when you're more anxious, you'll find that the signal cry for love, that sense of I need love and connection and, you know, a promise that you're not going away is like very high. So with folks who are more anxiously attached, if there's any indication that the relationship will go away or that the person has lost interest, they are going to be incredibly like ready to jump on that right away.

Whereas someone who's more avoidant might be, so I like backed up for a minute. A more avoidant person is going to have more of a wall up. They're going to be harder to reach. They're going to be more focused on themselves and less on their partner. They're going to be more looking at what their experiences rather than what their partner's experience is. Then there's disorganized attachment, which really is the most rooted in trauma attachment style because it comes from a childhood where the people who were supposed to care for you were also scary.

And so you sort of built this like come towards go away style. So when you get a lot of mixed messages, when you feel like someone's getting close to you, but then they pull away, that's usually someone that has more of a disorganized attachment style. I've not heard that one before actually, disorganized attachment. Okay, great. Oh, yeah. I don't know if that's, because I feel like a lot of the common ones are like the anxious. avoidant, secure, and then there's another one. For this fearful avoidant.

Yeah. So disorganized is also fearful avoidant. So the avoidant that people all think about are the ones where they like pull up a wall, where they ghost, where they disappear, where they're emotionally unavailable, where they're rational. And, you know, it's hard for them to maybe talk about feelings or have a long conversation. Whereas the fearful avoidant or the disorganized is, more where you're getting those mixed messages.

Like you don't know where you stand. Like sometimes they're close and then they push you away. They have a much more extreme reaction to closeness than the other two styles. So when you're first starting to date somebody and maybe in the first few months, can you actually pick up on their attachment styles that early? Or is it only when you're really, really with somebody that you kind of know? Or is there any sort of signs that people can see? I think there are signs that you can see pretty quickly.

I always tell my clients who are dating. It's like after you go on a date, write down the things from the date, like right after, write down the things from the date that you feel like went well. And then write down any questions you have that maybe came up. Like I'm not sure if the person is ready for a relationship or I'm not sure if this person wants the same things I do. And then write down any red flags you see. So for instance, you know, they're trying to push me into intimacy very quickly. Or I noticed they didn't want, they didn't ask me any questions, or I went on a date with them. It went well, but then I didn't hear

from them for a week. Or we've been dating for a month or two. And right when things start going well, I notice they pull away. So those are some indications that attachment styles may not be secure. So, you know, you also want to look at yourself, actually. How am I reacting? Do I notice, as I'm dating somebody, I'm like checking my phone a hundred times a day or I'm finding myself kind of not paying attention to them, not wanting to text them back? Like, what attachment adaptations in me are starting to come up. That for me, those two examples you just said was because I get confused on what I am, right? But those exact two examples you just gave, I've done both. Sometimes it depends on the mood though. Sometimes I'm like, I don't want to take somebody back because I can't, I feel like,

no. And then other times I'll be super pranged out if they don't message me back, even though I don't know if I'm that interested. You know what I mean really? Like, but I would still be like, hold on. Right, right. And the intermittent love or the intermittent attention is actually one of the most addictive patterns. So even if you find yourself with more secure attachment or even a little bit more avoidant, once you are encountering somebody who's avoidant, you may find yourself becoming more anxious. So when somebody's giving you an intermittent reward, like sometimes they're texting you right away, but other times they're making you wait three days. You'll notice your system is starting to rev up.

Like, what's going on? Do they like me? Do they want to be with me? What's happening? Whereas if you really could like calm your system and check in with yourself, you might say, I don't even know if I like this person. Like, yeah. I don't know if I like how I feel right now.

I'm going to walk away. But just like a slot machine at the casino. You know, when you get those little wins, you make the $10, you make the $20, you keep putting your money in hoping for that big payout. How do we stop doing that, though? Like, how do we stop ourselves getting addicted to a pattern like that? Because I do feel like that is very common nowadays. I don't think you really can stop yourself from getting hooked if the situation is hooking.

Like, I think the only option is to walk away and to have an expectation. of behavior from whoever you're going to date. So in the first three dates, I think it's really important to get a sense of the person. And if a sense of the person, a sense of who you are with them, and then a sense if the two of you, your vision for where you want ahead is aligned. And to really get into the habit of if those things are not there, walking away. I think that's really the only way you can protect yourself. I think that a lot of young people, not always women, but it's often women, tend to get trapped into the, well, maybe, well, maybe this person will be able to give me what I want. Well, they say they want these things that I want, but they're not acting like it

yet, but maybe if I wait around, if I do the right thing, if, you know, there's a moon in Sagittarius or whatever, it's like, then it'll happen. Yeah. So, I think we just have to be more honest with ourselves, really, about what's possible and less in that fantasy of what it could be. Yeah, or making the excuse. You also hear a lot of people say, oh, but it's just because he's going through a tough time with his job or it's just because of this, but then it's like six months later and that's still, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And I think it's important that we look at what our patterns are. When I really really, really started seeing these patterns. I mean, it was after I had been engaged. I had had a

child with someone. We had moved from the east coast of the U.S. all the way to the West Coast. And then he had left. And I was devastated. And at this point, I'm like, you know, in my late 30s. And so it took me a long time. I mean, it was right on time, but it took me. a long time objectively to understand that. So I think people need to be patient with themselves, kind with themselves, understanding that if you've been choosing similar type of guys, and probably if you're listening to this or watching this podcast, it's because you want to change and you want something different for your life. So if you can have that compassion for yourself and that kindness to know I can make a change, but I do need to give myself some time.

Because I guess also to figure out what your patterns are or even your attachment as well, like you kind of have to be dating and you kind of have to have those relationships to work out what it is. Right. Right. 100%. And it takes time to see what do I keep stepping into so that I can make some real adjustments and demand for myself that I deserve more than this.

Or do the work on myself it's going to take to. choose differently. Generally, we are attracted to what's familiar, even if that relationship has no merit for us. Because whatever has happened to us throughout our lives, it becomes imprinted in our brain. And we have a part of us that's looking to recreate that. Now, it's in the hope of healing these wounds. But often the partner we're choosing to do that with can't do that with us. And so we have to find somebody that while there is space to grow and heal and change with them, we're not so triggered by the relationship that we get stuck, that we can't make more progress. With your work, don't worry if you can't answer it or you don't really know.

Do you know how much of the population is like, or not the exact number, but roughly whether more people are avoidant or whether more people are, there's actually more secure people than we think because like, I feel like there's not that many secure. I'm probably wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. From a research perspective, they say 50% of the population is secure and the other 50% of the population is a mix of anxious and avoidant with a smaller percentage, the disorganized, it's almost off the charts.

I don't find that. I find that it's less than 50% that is secure, but those might just not be the people that end up in my office. So what they seem to see with intimate relationships is that secure folks get married and stay together. And so they're sort of out of the dating pool. And so what you're left with the dating pool once you get towards sort of your later 20s is more. people who are anxious or avoided. And I think the anxious people are more motivated to be in relationship. So the longer you're single in your life, the more years, the more likely it is, you're going to meet an avoidant person because there are going to be more of them who are available as you get older. Okay. You know, and that said, I'm a big believer in mindset around dating. and what you think and that you can create what you think. So for instance, you only need one partner unless you're, you know, polyamorous or you have a different relationship structure. But if you want a monogamous relationship, you only need to find one person. So start telling yourself the exact right

person is out there and they're making their way towards me. I think that a lot of us tell ourselves like, oh, it'll never happen or there are no good people out there. And I think that we have a lot of power to shift that in our own experience and therefore who we draw towards us. Instead, we could tell ourselves, like, the exact right person is there for me and I'm meeting them now. Like, bring it into the present for ourselves. I remember when I separated from my daughter's father, there was this overwhelming feeling of like, I'm never going to find love again. I'm never going to be in a good relationship. And so I started saying to myself, men fall out of trees for me. It's like I just convinced myself of that. And it was true. Now, I'm not saying that I wanted to date

every man that fell out of every tree. But I was, I did find that as I was doing that work on my mindset, I started meeting more and more higher quality men. And, And eventually I met a really wonderful man who was completely different than all the men I had dated in the past. When you were first like saying that to yourself and like putting it out, did you actually believe it or it took a while for it actually to be like until you had a few encounters with maybe meeting different people that you're like, okay, maybe there's some like thing in saying it. I think that for me, I didn't necessarily believe it.

but I was lucky that I had people in my life who believed it. Like I had people saying to me, you're an amazing person. You have so much to give. You have so much to offer. There are good people who are going to be drawn to you. And so I kept getting that outward validation from the people in my life who were really trustworthy. And I started telling myself, okay, it's possible that I could meet a really

quality human who wants a connection and a commitment. And then it's possible started turning into, I believe this to be true. That's good. I like that. I definitely like that because that makes it hopeful. And at the beginning you said that sometimes you felt that the secure relationships that you're in, the more secure ones, you found them a bit boring. So first, how, what does a secure relationship it really feel like. And then also, if you're finding it boring, does that just mean that you're not ready for it? Or what does that mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. And there's no one and done answer, especially around like what is a secure relationship for what does it mean or what does it feel like? I think that I know what it doesn't feel like, which is, you know, anxiety 24-7 or, you know,

having to chase somebody who won't calmly address an issue or desperately getting someone's attention. I think what it does feel like depends on what's really important to you. So is it you can trust the person, you can communicate with them. They will share with you what's actually going on for them. They will give you the reassurance that you need in the moments that you need it. They're there for you when the times are tough, when you're going through something, they don't ignore you, you can grow with them because secure relationships go through a lot of bad stuff too. And there are really tough times. But you have a person who's willing to do the work with you, who's willing to grow, who's willing to address issues and really put in a big effort. Those are the things

that are building blocks of a secure relationship. Yeah, of course. That you, everyone wants a secure relationship. I hope that it happens. It's so, it's so nice when you feel like you can count on someone. It's honestly the worst if you're in a relationship on eggshells and not knowing where you stand for sure. Yeah.

If somebody has had a breakup and then, you know, they're struggling to navigate the healing process and they don't know where to start, do you have any sort of tips of like how they can start? that journey. I do, actually. Whenever I have a client who's going through a breakup, I always have them write down all the things about the relationship that weren't good for them or for the two of them. And to look at every category. So look at what you did together. Look at the emotional connection. Look at the intellectual connection between the two of you. Look at the level of commitment. look at how you were physically, look at whether spiritually you were a good connection,

whether there was the similar commitment to growth, look at finances, and write down everything that you can remember that was basically not a good fit or felt yucky about the relationship. So first get that all on paper because we tend to fantasize about the good moments of the relationship and we forget about all the reasons why it ended. And even if the person broke up with me and I'm like, oh, but I wanted to be in it, well, well, what's it like to know that this person you were with didn't value you? Didn't want to be with you. Like do I really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? So write all that down and then know it's going to take time. You need time to heal.

need time to grieve the relationship. And every grief that we experience brings up past grieves. So a lot of times you might be with someone, not even for that long, and maybe it was actually quite bad, but you feel very, very upset and sad when it's over. And that might be an indication that you have more things in your life that you need to grieve and process through, that you haven't. I haven't actually had this, but when girls, when they like have a breakup and then they get into a situation ship quite soon after, and then it wasn't even that, it didn't seem that serious at the time in anything. And then they're super sad. And I'm always thinking it's probably because you didn't process. Maybe that's just me thinking of it. I'm like, it's probably because you're processing both now. It's not just one. You know, it's probably reminding you of those things. And now it's like, oh, no, you have two to go through. 100% yep you're processing both you're also processing grief from your childhood from being bullied from having a friend that disappeared on you you might even be processing grief from your parents that they carried with them that you were born with the how much of it is subconscious and conscious

you know what I mean like then it's quite hard to know no you don't know You don't know. And that's why it is so important to let ourselves grieve and feel sad and not just rush into another, you know, ideally rush into another connection right away, but to give ourselves time and to have that compassion with ourselves when we feel sad. I'm not saying to let ourselves seep into, you know, the couch for months at a time and we want to be careful with ourselves. but often we don't even give ourselves a moment to just feel the sadness of something that we experience. We just rush to like scroll our phone or go buy something to feel better or drink something or want to get over it or just go to work or get on with it.

And we don't give ourselves that time to just say, wow, I feel sad. Like that, like, out. That hurt. Yeah. Do you think that sometimes with first ever breakups, I was so sad for so long. And I'm curious to know from like maybe you would know because of your clients and also because of yourself. Do they get easier at all?

Like does it seem to get a little bit easier, like a little less time of sadness? Because that was a long time than I was sad. How long were you sad for? It wasn't like every day, but it was like probably like eight months. So this joke, it said, breaking up is like trying to tip over a vending machine. You have to rock it back and forth a little before it finally falls over. And with these first loves, with these long relationships, with these relationships where there's a part of us that really wants it to work, we have a tendency to go back and try to

be friends and check their Instagram and do this. And we sort of have a breakup sex or have the, and it's like we rock it back and forth and then until it finally goes over. And then once it finally goes over or, you know, sometimes when we're rocking it back and forth, you often need half the time to grieve that you are in the relationship. And again, it's not just that relationship we're grieving, but it's whatever grief we still have in us from the past that can get activated through that process. Yeah. And when you're when you are healing, do you have any tips of somebody trying to heal like in that like maybe that they could do that you found helped you? The first piece is your basic needs as a human being. So proper nutrition like eating food. It's like people stop eating because they're heartbroken, right? Yeah. Eat food, sleep, get sleep, move your body. These like basic things, three things. things are crucial. Then try to avoid alcohol and other drugs. Those are depressants and they'll make it worse. And they'll also make you probably want to reconnect with your ex, at least temporarily.

Surround yourself with people who are trustworthy and supportive. And that isn't always the friend that's like, yeah, he's an asshole, you know. It could be the friend that just is able to sit with you while you cry. It could be the friend that just says, I know this hurts and I'm going to, you know, how about I help you clean out your stuff? I remember when I was ending a five-year relationship, one of my friends came with me to get all my stuff out of his apartment. You know, that was how she supported me during that very hard time. So, you know, and if you have a couple of people who can do that, you're lucky because there are a lot of people that don't have anybody. And if that's you, that's okay. There are a lot of people that say, I don't have one person in my life, I can trust. So that's where,

you know, there are books you can read that can help you do exercises on your own or if you can afford to go work with a therapist or a coach or somebody that understands the healing process. That can be a person that can help you get through it. All those things can help, giving yourself time, being compassionate with yourself, being very careful not to go with, oh, it happened again, well, I suck. I should have never done this. Why am I always in these situations? That inner critic is going to make it much harder for you to heal. And it's hard to switch your brain to not feel like that when the person has, if you've got broken up with, like in my case, when the person has broken up with you, kind of like, it's so hard to not be like,

believe it. Right. But that's where boundaries are so important. And not just boundaries of like, oh, who am I going to have near me? But what am I going to believe? We need to have boundaries around what's actually true and what isn't. So just because somebody doesn't want to be with me, is it actually true that that means I'm unlovable or that means I'm not good enough or that means I'm somehow deficient? No, there's a big part of us that knows that. But then there's a younger part that says, oh, but this means that I'm not enough or this means I'm not valuable. And that part of us actually needs nurturing and kindness, but also boundaries so that we don't believe that as truth. For sure. Maybe I have one more question on an attachment actually.

It's, can your attachment style be different when you're in the relationship and then how you break up too? I don't know if this is going to make sense. But like if you're avoidant in the relationship, Can you suddenly switch to being like a bit of a then chaser in the breakup? Yeah. So that's very common with the example that you gave that actually avoidant people will be the ones that initiate the breakup. But what happens is after you've been apart for a period of time, it could be a week. It could be a month.

It could be a year. They are able to regulate their nervous system enough being alone that they actually let themselves miss you, they actually feel their emotions come up and then they reach out and they want to reconnect. Because when they're in the relationship, it's too hard for them to regulate themselves. And so they go with their adaptive strategies, which is to just wall off and push away. But once they're not triggered by the relationship, their defenses come down. And then their wise adult part, the part of them that's secure comes out and says, oh, wait, I want connection.

Because avoiding people want connection, it's just the triggering of the relationship makes them pull it back and disconnect with their own wanting. It's also possible that people who are more anxious in a relationship, once the breakup happens, they go back into themselves. They say, well, wait a minute, I've been neglecting myself. They start going to the gym again. They're taking care of themselves. They're seeing their friends. They're focused on how they feel. They start feeling a lot more confident.

right? And now all of a sudden, it's like, oh, people are attracted to them and they're really in their like they're feeling themselves. Yeah, they're glow up. Exactly. But then what happens is they get into the intimate relationship again. They become activated by that relationship. And then those attachment adaptations, that anxious attachment starts coming out. And if it's not dealt with, if you're not in that healing process enough or with a partner where you can work with it, it'll overwhelm the relationship. I mean, I think that that's why it's so important to see that attachment is so relational. I mean, this is really about how we are with other people. And it also is hard. It is very hard not to take in other things from your previous relationships

too. With people who are single, I always suggest that they get crystal clear on what they're looking for. So know exactly what kind of partner they're looking for. And I'm not just talking about like six, five blue eyes trust fund. You know, I'm talking deep. You know, like what, what are the values? What are the qualities you're looking for? Are you ready to repair with someone when something goes off? Do you want somebody who's going to do that with you? And then really track what happens with a person early on and getting physically involved with someone too soon can make that really hard because once you start hooking up with someone it's like the brain goes offline and the chemicals they're just like chemically and you're just like in it with them and so trying to push that off and really

observe what's this person like what am i like with them do we want the same things similar enough right you're still different people but if you're looking to get married and and you want to have children, why are you dating somebody that's saying, oh, I don't know what I want. I just, I know I just want to have fun. I'm not really, I'm not really. It's not that deep. Get yourself out of it. Yeah. Or vice versa. Yeah, exactly. Like in the first three dates. That's early, early. I was thinking, yeah, that is very early. But makes sense. By the first three dates, I would know exactly what this person is ready for, what they're interested in. I would have vetted your non-negotiables with them.

So that means, like, I would write a list of things you absolutely will not have with a person. The things I see all the time, it's usually around substances, you know, alcohol, drugs, pornography. Do you follow women online, only fans, things like that? What are your ideas about equality? What kind of life do you want to build? Where do you want to build it? do you imagine that we would both be working? Would we be able to have kids? I mean,

that, like, would we equally take care of kids if we want to have kids or do we not want kids? I would address all those questions within the first three dates. Is there somewhere that people can like see these questions or do you just think you should know them off the top of your head? No, I don't. And I think that's probably like one of the saddest parts about education. is that we learn all these things of how to make money and how to be in the world. But nobody teaches us how to be relational, how to connect, how to have a conversation, how to be honest with each other. So I think these are skills you have to learn. You have to go

for and figure out that you have to watch podcasts like this one. You have to read books. You have to surround yourself with people who are trying to build relationships like this. I know, on my website, there are free downloads. I have one called the dating blueprint, which gives you a bunch of these questions to consider for yourself. I do dating workshops. Hopefully, if you are really focused on building a secure relationship, you can find somebody to guide you who's looking at the depth of things and not just the Christmas cards are going to look like on the outside. Yeah. Amazing. So if somebody is looking to maybe do a workshop with you or wants to check out some of your stuff, where can they

do that? So I can link it in the, wonderful. You can go to my website, which is rosevigiano.com. You can go to my Instagram, which is at Awakening Relationships. You can email me. There's lots of ways to connect with me. I always on my website or on my Instagram, I'll say whatever is the next class or workshop that I'm doing. I also see people privately, couples and single folks who are looking to build relationships that can really sustain time and have value. So any of those ways I would love to connect with you. Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Rose, for your time. Thank you. This has been really fun. Buckle up, bitches. It's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup. diet.