The Break-Up Diet - You’re Not “Bad in Bed.” No One Ever Taught You. ft Lauren Short

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

If you’ve ever thought “maybe I’m just bad in bed…”this episode might change your entire perspective.This week I’m joined by Lauren Short, founder of sexual wellness brand Ples’Jour, and we’re talking about something that weirdly… no one ever actually teaches women about: pleasure.Because somehow we grow up learning everything about sex except the part where we’re actually supposed to enjoy it.We get into why so many women feel pressure to perform, why the orgasm gap is very real, and why so many of us think something is wrong with us when in reality… no one ever taught us how our bodies actually work.We also talk about:why lube still has such a stigma (even though almost everyone could benefit from using it)how stress, hormones and relationships affect attraction and arousalwhy confidence in the bedroom actually starts with understanding your own bodyand how reconnecting with yourself after a breakup can completely change how you show up in your next relationshipAnd yes… this episode also includes a truly chaotic story involving expired lube from 2016 and a very unfortunate rash.You’ve been warned.If you’ve ever felt pressure to be “good in bed”, compared yourself to what you think sex is supposed to look like, or realised halfway through your twenties that maybe nobody ever actually explained any of this properly…this episode is for you.Welcome back to The Break-Up Diet.Buckle up, girls. 💔✨ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My friend's going to kill me, but hooked up with this guy. Anyway, then gets a call. Like the next day being like, I have a rash all over my dick. Oh, no. And then they worked out that the lube was like from 2016. No. Yeah. So people should know that it does go off apparently.

It definitely goes off. Oh my goodness, that's so old. Buckle up, bitches. It's going to get bumpy. This is the breakup diet. Welcome back to another episode of the breakout diet. I'm joined by Lauren Short, the founder of the sexual wellness brand called Pleasure. Pleasure, yeah. Pleasure. The whole time I was practicing, do I say pleasure or pleasure? And then I was like, because it's French.

Yeah, I mean, I made it up. So like, however you want to say it. Okay, because I was saying it like a French accent earlier. Then I was like, oh my God, I can't do that. Pleasure. Pleasure. Yeah, perfect. There we go. Use the French accent. Yeah. I think it sounds more sexy, right? Yeah, it does. It definitely does. What is pleasure? Okay, yes. So Pleasure is an intimate wellness brand and we've launched one product so far, which is an intimate lubricant and it's made from silicone. Okay, so you're going to have to talk me through the different stuff. So there's different, if it's silicone or oil. Yes, and you also get water based. Okay, so there's three main types of lubricants. Water base takes up the majority of the market. It's just over 50%. And then you have silicone and then oils usually around 10%.

So with oil-based lubricants, they feel great. However, the only issue, well, one of the reasons why I didn't use it for mine was you can't use them with condoms. So I don't want to create something that people couldn't use if they wanted to use protection. I go like it's such a barrier. And it just could be a recipe for disaster. So there's oil and then you have water-based lubricants, which I used to, before I started this company, I assumed that water-based lubricants were better for you because there's oil and then you have water-based lubricants, they say water in them, right?

Yeah, I would too. Like without knowing, I would too. Yeah, you're like, okay, like water, that's natural. That's good. But the caveat for water is like any product that contains water can grow molder bacteria. That's the same for like your cosmetics as well. So they use stabilizers and preservatives in the formulation to make sure that it doesn't grow. It just keeps it safe.

So basically when you're looking at a water-based formulation, there'll be usually, usually you can look out for them, but the issue is like having those extra ingredients can be sometimes quite irritating for your body. It doesn't inherently mean that all water-based formulas are bad because I've found three really good ones that are super clean ingredients. But honestly, like from the formulations I've reviewed, a huge portion have like really nasty ingredients in the water-based formulas and usually as well. The ingredients list is quite large because you need to like thicken the formulation and make it like lubricant. ask rather than water.

Then also on top of that, like, if you put water on your skin, it's absorbed into your body. So all the ingredients that are in the formulation are going to go into your body and into your bloodstream as well. So for me personally, I was like, oh, like, I don't want this list of like 12 ingredients being absorbed into my body. And because, like, you know your vagina's, it's like the inside of your mouth, right? So it's super absorbent. So I'm like, okay, I don't want to put anything that's irritating and all of that on that area of my body. So then silicone is the last section. And these formulations are like notoriously very silky and great.

There's still a couple of ingredients which aren't ideal for putting on an intimate part of your body. But for me, like I chose to use two silicone molecules and they're too large to actually enter through your skin barrier and through your mucous membrane. So they like sit on top of your skin and can't be absorbed into your body. This is like a full deep dive. Sorry, I'm like talking for so long. No, no, I'm learning so much. Like, honestly, I know nothing. So you're, I'm loving it.

Okay, good. Yeah. Okay, yeah. So the silicon molecules we've chosen sit on top of your skin and then your vagina like naturally gets rid of them. So they're never absorbed into your body or into your bloodstream. And for me, that was like the safest option. Yeah.

Out of what to do. Yeah, I get it. When you were like designing the bottle because it looks very pretty, we're going to have to, I'll get it out or we're going to have to insert a photo of how it looks. It's like beautiful. Whereas like the only stuff I've seen is in boots or something like this way you see like and it looks very like clinical. Yes, totally.

I completely agree with you. That was like one huge thing. Like when I was starting the brand, I think when you look at a product, it evokes emotion in you. Yeah. And I like using nice things and I'm sure you do as well. Like you like nice hair products and like nice face moisturiser. And I invest in that for myself. And like when I looked at one,

I was using for my lubricant before. I was like, why am I spending 200 pounds on my face moisturiser? And my lubricant literally costs like 15 pounds. Like something, I'm like, why was I, I'm so confused. So then, like, I was like, okay, I need to look into what else I can purchase that's maybe higher end in the market. And then when I looked, like you said, in boots and stuff, like even the things that are top ends for when I was looking, to me it didn't resonate. I want, somebody to feel confident and like they're going to feel amazing from using the product and it makes them feel like super happy and empowered whereas yeah whereas like to be fair looking if you're using like a normal loove no shade or normal loo but like if you are i don't look at it and think like oh i'm

it doesn't i don't feel like oh i'm such a chic lady without sounding really bad oh yes exactly i love that i mean i'm kind of like oh i'm a dirty little her like you know what i mean without me like oh like like that's so funny I love I don't know why but I've only just thought of that with you saying that like I'm looking at it when I was looking before for 100% and then also because there's so many like negative connotations attached with people using lube yeah I wanted to make something where they looked it and they're like oh like this is elegant and this is chic and using it is going to be good for me like I wanted to encourage people to use lube because like I literally think Loub is the best thing since sliced bread and I want to show other people that

that's the case and I feel like there's a lot of barriers where maybe like I've had conversations where people are like, oh my God, like I don't need Loub, I'm wet enough and it's just like not very well looked upon in so many people's eyes or maybe they don't want to open up about it so I want to like try and change. Why do you think that is? Because I agree with you. Like it definitely is still although there's so many movements of like like talking about sex and like especially with other podcasts and all this sort of stuff like there's so been so much like growth in that area but I still find that people are quite like restricted and close minded even on like massivation and that sort of side as well of like self pleasure too I think the biggest issue stems from when you're in school

nobody's educated on any of this like you I personally got I think like two lessons when I was 12 years old and one of them was a woman giving birth and that was it and nobody is taught that you know pleasure is such an important part of your life like everybody has sex and it's directly correlated to happiness like your sleep is better if you're having like good sex if you're having orgasms it reduces your cortisol levels like there's so many benefits to it and no one's really taught like hey like you need to explore that and see like what you enjoy because obviously it's like so personal too. Do you find that hard that people are still so close-minded? Like is that one of the challenges that you find? Yeah, I think, well, honestly, like one of the biggest challenges when I first

started was, like, my mum and dad thought I was absolutely insane. And I feel like before you start something, I was building it for so long because, like, the formulation took 10 months to make. And then we were testing it for six months. Then we were making the bottle. And I think, like, my mom literally was like, to me, you're insane. And I was like, oh, oh, like, this could go. And I was. really badly. But now it's launched and I feel like everyone can kind of see the vision of what I wanted to do and it's been featured in like good publications. I think that's like made it a lot easier for me and helped me relax a bit. But honestly like when I did it, it wasn't for the gratification of like my parents. Like I wanted to like be able to help people as a result. And then also I guess

the topic being so taboo is difficult because like there's restrictions on ads. So you can't like it's hard to get people to see the. brand and then also with like partnerships. I've had like one person. We organize like a collaboration and then very last minute they pulled out because the owner of like the company was very reserved. And I think it's just a nature of the beast. Like honestly for me I don't mind. I get it like some people are more progressive in the way they are than others. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. Like building a business in general I think is hard and then especially in this space. Because like also like Like I'm a woman and I think there's so many like connotations.

Like I literally had somebody say to me, oh, well, you must love sex. I was just about to ask you if you get that. I was literally just about to ask you if that was something that you get from men. Yes. When you're telling them, especially if you're dating or something, do they say straight away? Do they like their eyes light up? And they're like, ooh, it's so bad. And they're like, oh, do you want a guinea pig?

And I'm like, no, thank you. I do. Not want a guinea pig. And like, this is like a business. It's my company. Like, it's my baby. Like I don't need Weird men

Trying to entice me in tears Yeah, it's not going to work Listen, there's other things that might work That's not one of them Telling me, you can test on me Also, you're too far You've already launched it So you're too late

I already tested on someone else I'm joking Yeah It must be hard actually Because they would automatically go there Which is so unfair Because you're literally just trying to For sure

Create a great product that isn't there yet And something that you can you were looking for it and then you saw that like it's not there so you've created it it's not because you love sex it's true i know it's so funny like if anything i'm like the body no not the opposite but like i am i think the thing is like for what i want to do like make something that's like sophisticated and elegant i don't want to over sexualize it because then that also makes people feel uncomfortable i think like i want to be able to have conversations about this subject that don't give people the ick because i know for a fact there's so many people

like couples or like parents that should try something like this but maybe wouldn't ever look into it because the topic in general is like maybe too OTT for them. So I think it's good to like have conversations in a normal way that's not like making people feel uncomfortable about talking about sex because it's like so normal like why are we not talking about it more. Yeah it's true. At the start you said that you thought lubricant was like the best thing ever. Why is this? Like I wanted to No. I'm asking for a friend myself. I'll be honest. I don't use it. So you're enlightening me. Oh my God, great. Okay. I can't wait. We need to get, I need the feedback. This is like so important.

Okay. I don't need a part of it. Like I'll do it myself. Exactly. Live feedback on the breakup time. Okay. So why? So there's my favorite statistic ever. They did a study on over 2,400 women, aged 18 to 65 years old. And they gave them lubricant to use for two weeks. And these are women from like all different socioeconomic backgrounds as well. And then at the end of the survey, no, at the end of the testing phase, they gave him a survey of different questions. And one of the questions was, did using lubricant make sex feel better for you? 97% said yes. That's a lot of people. It's a lot. Yeah. And I'm like, if 97% of 2,400 women are saying that using lubricant makes their sex feel better. Like, why is everyone else not using it? You know,

it's obviously there's so much stigma attached to it. And people think, oh, like, it's for women that have gone through menopause or if you're older or if you can't get wet. But the reality is, like, women's bodies are like the most amazing thing ever. And we're obviously, like, we're on a cycle of like 30 days. So your estrogen peaks in that, your congestion peaks as well. And both at different times and depending on where you are in your cycle depends like how easily wet you can get or how horny you will be you know like just before your period I'm definitely like not interested in anyone coming near me like there's so many different fluctuations and then on top of that we live in the most stressful society that's ever been and stress is the biggest inhibitor of like becoming

aroused and being able to relax in the moment so I think like there's so much pressure on women to always perform and like you start kissing and then like you need to be ready to like have sex straight away and that's not the case like everybody's body is so different like some people can take two minutes some people can take 10 someone can take 30 someone can take even longer like it's all totally normal isn't it also dependent when your partner too because like okay TMI sorry guys totally I've had it with somebody that like I've just not ever been feeling like ready even though like I thought I was really attractive to them and then I've had another person where they touch my leg and I'm like, wow.

Yes, it's so, so true. And okay, so that's kind of linked to, like, for a lot of women, you need to feel safe, comfortable, like, listened to as well, like understood. And all these, like, different emotions create like a blanket, I guess, where I guess your brain unlocks the flow easier than other times. That's a tip that any boy is listening. If you want someone to come, it's like you have to do those 100% percent. I think that is the key to like having the best types of relationships and creating like good connection as well because you want a connection with somebody that's like also key because there's a lot of barriers I guess where sometimes women can't orgasm because they don't feel connected or comfortable and that's yeah yeah safe totally.

It makes sense. It definitely makes sense when you put it like that then it makes sense but when you're like the normal. I'm like why. That's so weird like. like one guy's like action man as well and you're like what's happening I don't understand yeah I'm like I should be but there's no do you think that women are taught from a young age to perform more in sex over actually like taking the self pleasure for themselves that wasn't worded correctly but do you get what I'm saying I know what you mean it's such a good question and 100% yes I think like porn is such a bad learning facility and that's like the only reference you really have I guess to know what to do or like a partner to kind of guide you through things and there's so much like stand they're like there's such high standards for women

yeah like beauty standards and to like be on top form and act like you're a crazy porn star and be doing what is it freak in the sheets lighting the streets but like match levels of both yes like all this stuff but honestly like I think the most attractive thing that a woman can do is like focus on herself and like enjoy what is happening fully and truly because I think it changes the energy like there's some kind of weird shift that happens when you know what you like and you know what works that I think your partner like really can see and understand and it makes them really enjoy it more too but I wish like you're so right there's definitely an issue with people feeling like they need to perform and I think it comes from confidence in knowing

your body and finding out what you like as well. Yeah, it's so true. It is, I think that is a thing though with like younger women that you do because of the porn and everything. Like it is so, it feels so fake to me like saying just like phrases because you should say phrases and I'm like I'm not a porn star. No. Like don't. do that to me. And it makes me cringe. Like, I just can't. Yeah. So, yeah, there's definitely a thing. You have to just tune in to yourself and just forget about the other person. Do what a man does. Forget about the other person. Literally. And you know, like, the orgasm gap is a real thing. Like, they stay in studies that women orgasm 30% less than men. I actually think it's less because they

also say in another study that 40% of women can't orgasm at all. But like, we need to focus on ourselves because we need to close the gap. Yeah. Glow ups post breakup are quite a big thing on the breakup diet. And I want to ask you how much, how important do you think it is to focus in on self-pleasure to like have that glow up? Yeah. That's, I love that question.

I think it's super important. I guess when you go through a breakup, it's quite traumatic. And I think a lot of people's automatic reaction is like, okay, like we're, going to get hotter and we're going to work out more. But I do think breaking up with someone can create a disconnect with yourself and how you're feeling in your own body. And I actually think like the best advice in those situations is to give yourself grace because I think women in particular are always so hard on themselves. Yeah. And to like always be perfect. And it's just not life. And it's okay if you don't want to have sex or

or if you do or if you want to masturbate, you should do like whatever feels like good for you and to reconnect with yourself in the right time that works because it's tough and it's like traumatic. They say there's something called like post-traumatic growth that happens after you break up with somebody and it's great because obviously it's horrible. You're like going through bad emotions. But they say that you learn like better boundaries as a result. So like at least you can take something good. And I think also having like really good relationships.

a huge part of that is having good boundaries with yourself and with other people too. Yeah, because I do think after a breakup, lots of the time, people seem to feel like the sex is only to do with a partner and you can't have that pleasure if you don't have a partner. I love that, yeah, it's so true. You're right. And the thing is, like, knowing yourself and enjoying that with yourself is so important, too. Like it's being by yourself is like the best time to really like learn about you. And often we don't get a lot of time like that anyway because you are in relationships or you're working and things. So I think it's like the best time for you to reconnect and learn what you enjoy. I don't think Louvre is like a lot of the time like a woman's thing. Which I know sounds so bad. But that's like the stigma that is around it. It's true. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? And that's especially why I think yours is going to be great because it's so like. luxurious and it's it makes it a lot more feminine and a lot nicer like I wouldn't mind having that

in my side whereas like to have something else I probably would feel a bit more shameful around it even though it shouldn't be yeah I totally yeah I totally agree I think it's a horrible stigma and that's like the one thing that I wish I could just automatically change but I do think it will change like I think hopefully by because this is like almost double what the price of the normal lubricant is and I think also by like creating something that's super premium it shifts people's narrative to also think like hey this is something that I have to invest in yeah and that I want to show off and that I actually want to like use it with my partner rather than something that you kind of just throw in a drawer you know you value it more yeah because it

feels like the like it feels like get the job done yeah if I could like put a slogan on it you know what I mean. You're right. Yeah. I don't know why, but like that's what like pops to my head. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

It's going fast. That is honestly hilarious. I love that. And also another thing that I found that with it is I don't know if this is just me. This might just be me. I'm sure it's not. It's never only just here. It's like, you know, it's, then there's a lot of liquidy stuff going on your bed.

Yes, you're right. That's such. That is definitely a thing. And it also depends like. walk like if you're using a scraity bottle or if you're putting like too much and all of that it's it can be like super messy I think so basically they say the issues like the that people raise when they don't like using lubricant are the biggest one is because it's usually too sticky and it doesn't feel nice and then the second one is because like it's messy and they don't want it on their bed shoots and stuff um so

I guess like it depends on the formulation in the product that you're using you want something that's like controlled like we have like a pump on ours so it's just like a little bit and it goes a long way but yeah I can't wait for you to give me the review on this oh well I will I will I will I will I will I will use it and then I will get over the stigma and use it case study case study right here okay so if you could tell a girl coming out of a breakup right now like one piece of advice to feel good or about pleasure that you want to share something around that type of thing. I think it's just really useful for people to know that your body is totally normal and what everyone, everyone reacts totally different to everything. And what you like

is completely unique to you and roll with that. Like it's great. You don't need to put pressure on yourself to keep up with like porn standards or beauty standards. Just understand what works for you and be able to like talk to your partner to someone that you're with about that. I feel like I've got something better. I can sure I need to think. Just like focus on yourself. Like love yourself more than anything else because at the end of the day I think that creates such great energy around you and when somebody really like genuinely cares about themselves, they treat themselves nicely. Like you take yourself for a coffee or you do things that make you feel good. I really. I really think you can feel it like when you meet other people and I think it's great for like getting into

a relationship from there. If you care about yourself, you're never going to let anyone else treat you lesser than or like accept things that you shouldn't, you know? Yeah. So do you think that with breakups, they can be a good turning point for finding your confidence. Yeah. In like your own body basically. Yeah, I definitely think so. I think like sometimes you can come out of a relationship and only after you realized like, oh wow, they were actually like not making me feel good about myself. Yeah. Or you know what's interesting with that is when you tell your friends something that you didn't think was a big deal about it and then they react like, that's not okay. And then you're like, oh, that's not okay. Literally. Yeah. So many, like there's so many things you can't see it

when you're in the situation. Then you go through a breakup and you're like, oh, wow, like I need to not accept something like that in future. And then you get the other side of the coin where you're with someone and they're like making you feel like a queen. And then if you're not there you're not together anymore, you're like, oh my God, how do I fill the void? You know? Like you're like, where do I get like the validation from if I don't have my boyfriend who's always like, oh, you're beautiful or like making you feel great. So like it's insanely hard and it can be so lonely as well like from both sides. Yeah. Gosh, that is true. That's a bit sad actually. I know. It can be. I was thinking about this the other day. I think it's really good to like value when you do break up and when you're single because

you never know like your next relationship, you could be married for the rest of your life and never single again. So like appreciate the time that you have and. Treasure it. Yeah, exactly. It's nice, you know. It is nice. That is true. It literally only takes one day or one encounter and then you're with. Totally. Or you can just live by yourself because honestly women live longer than they live by themselves. Yeah, there's a study on that. I've seen that steady too. I'm like, okay, I'm considering that honestly, it's terrible. That is true. And men live longer when they're in, like, when they're married. Yeah, and women don't. That is so messed up. Yeah, my last question, but it's a loaded question. Oh God. Do loops

go off? Okay, so they do. They have an expiration date once you open them and it varies per product. This one is 24 months, but usually 12 to 24 months is like their timeline. It's a loaded question. It's a loaded question. My friend's going to be something. My friend's going to be something. my friend's going to kill me. But she basically, oh God. So she started seeing this guy and she was like going through a breakup and she was like, I just need to have a, I just need to have a fling.

And like I hooked up with this guy. Anyway, then gets a call. Like the next day being like, I have a rash all over my dick. Oh no. And then they worked out that the lube was like from 2016. No. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I was like, what? So people should know that it does go off apparently. It definitely goes off. Oh my goodness. That's so old. Yeah, and this was the first time hooking up with someone she didn't really know. So she just... Oh, my God, bless her.

And then they're like, I have a rash from this random girl. She's like, oh, no. You would be mortified. I can't believe he called her as well. Yeah. He must have been thinking the worst. Well, I would be thinking the worst. If I hooked up with someone that's random,

that went on one date with, and then they gave me a rash, best believe I'm turning up to their house. That's so bad. Oh, my God. Bless him. Yeah. It's crazy, though. So she didn't.

get irritated at all then. No. I can't remember she got irritated or she like sore a little bit but was like, oh, probably nothing. And then he's there with like this full rash on his penis. Wait, that's crazy. They used a loop from 2016. Yeah. I was like, well, she was like, I didn't know what went off. I was like, oh my God. No, neither did I. But there we go. Oh my God, that's actually going to make me cry. That is so funny. Bless your friend. Tell her, I'll give her some lube as well. Like for now.

next time. What is something that you think everyone should know about pleasure? There's a few things like for me having a safe formulation was like the most important thing and I actually have a story about this which I'll tell you because it's really interesting but basically the lubricant I used to use it contained an ingredient called cyclopenta cyloxane in it and when I was doing all my research and reviewing all these formulations I was looking into this ingredient and they did a study on rats and rats that were like exposed to it and they grew tumours on their bladder from being exposed to it. And I was using this product for like two years and I read the study and I was like, oh my God, like why is this allowed? So they're banning it in Europe in

2008 up to use of 0.1%. But I'm like, that's not good enough. Like people in the lubricant industry, I feel like are doing things like without any integrity. They're not looking into the ingredients properly and like it's dangerous for people you know you don't want to be because get the job done literally that is yes you're right totally yeah everyone just wants to get the job done it's like a quick thing or like a white label formula um so for me when i created the brand i knew obviously i wanted it to be like very beautiful but at the same time i wanted to like put it through as many tests as i could and make sure the formula was as safe as possible because i want to give people a product they know they can feel good about using.

Yeah. Because the bottle is beautiful, but also because the formula is well tested. You know, it's like gynecologist recommended. We've tested it on women's microbiome, so it won't affect your microbiome or your pH. It's actually moisturizing as well. And we've tested it on vaginal cells to make sure that when the product's sitting on the cells, that they don't damage them or kill them over time. Because that's actually a thing that happens. There's so many ingredients in lubricant, and they actually, like, kill your cells when

they're sitting on them. God. So yeah, read your ingredients list. I feel like that's my good ending. Read the ingredients list for sure. And even just send it to chat GPT and say, is this safe to put on my vagina? Like, this is fair.

Yeah. Okay, that is, that is how we're ending it. Thank you so much for coming on the breakup diet. I've enjoyed our chat so much. Oh, thank you. Me too.