The Charlie Kirk Show - Charlie and Erika Kirk's Advice on Family, Marriage, and More
Episode Date: December 25, 2025In June of 2025, Charlie and Erika spoke to a group of young women about relationships, career, faith, and the many questions that are as pressing for Gen Z as they are for every generation prior. Wat...ch every episode ad-free on members.charliekirk.com! Get new merch at charliekirkstore.com!Support the show: http://www.charliekirk.com/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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My name is Charlie Kirk.
I run the largest pro-American student organization in the country fighting for the future of our republic.
My call is to fight evil and to proclaim truth.
If the most important thing for you is just feeling good, you're going to end up miserable.
But if the most important thing is doing good, you will end up purposeful.
College is a scam, everybody.
You've got to stop sending your kids to college.
You should get married as young as possible and have as much.
many kids as possible.
Go start a turning point U.S.A. College chapter.
Go start a turning point you would say high school chapter.
Go find out how your church can get involved.
Sign up and become an activist.
I gave my life to the Lord in fifth grade.
Most important decision I ever made in my life.
And I encourage you to do the same.
Here I am.
Lord, use me.
Buckle up, everybody.
Here we go.
The Charlie Kirk Show is proudly sponsored by Preserve Gold.
leading gold and silver experts and the only precious metals company I recommend to my family,
friends, and viewers.
Thank you, everybody. How great is Erica, by the way?
That's not easy to do. I'll tell you what. It's amazing. She's an incredible mom and working
on Bible in 365 and proclaimed streetwear, and then she gives an amazing address like that.
And so many friends here, you know, this is our 10th annual young women's leadership summit.
We've been doing this for 10 years.
Real women only, because there's only such thing as real women.
I want to say a special thank you to our friend here, Karen Duddleston from the Duddleston Foundation.
They've been so generously supporting us for years.
So thank you.
About you, none of this would be possible.
And so we're just going to chat for a second here.
and then we wanted to open it up for questions from you, which is the most fun, but no political question.
I'll be here back. I'll be back here tomorrow. We can do that if you want to talk about all that fun stuff.
Literally just want questions for both of us about relationships and raising kids and getting married and all that stuff that you might have questions about.
That's what we want to focus this Q&A on.
So, Erica, great job again.
I love you.
I love you too, baby.
And so a lot of these young ladies have competing pressures right now.
Some might even have parents that are like, hey, you got to get a job, you got to build your career, you got to build money, marriage can come later.
Marriage can come later.
However, some ladies might be getting different advice from this conference or from even inside.
They say, boy, I might want to get married sooner rather than later.
How do they balance that in a godly and biblical way?
That's hard because usually those voices are coming from your parents.
I mean, they were for me.
and so it's hard because you're in that in-between of honoring your parents,
but also knowing that there's a conviction in your heart to have a family.
If you want, you can literally write down what your career,
what you want that to look like on a piece of paper, put in an envelope,
go pursue.
If you find the right guy, that's 90% of the problem,
is finding the right person first, then building your life.
And once you do find the right person and your family loves them,
your parents are going to be way more understanding it into the fact of you having a family.
I think that's 90% of the...
So let me ask you, raise your hand if you had to choose between amazing career or amazing family.
You have to choose who here would choose amazing career.
That's fine if you do.
That's fine.
Like seriously, please raise your hand.
There's a couple hands.
Amazing family.
Although the hands got it.
Okay.
So, for everyone that rose, you know, the hand of amazing family,
how many of you every single day it's your purpose for being is finding a husband then?
Every hand should then go up.
But I thought you said you wanted an amazing family.
You have to prioritize and aim at what you want the most.
I might be the only speaker that says this in these next couple of days.
You just have to make sure that you find the right...
I know, I know, but you have to prioritize it.
I know, but you can't be like...
You can't be like a heat-seeking missile where you're like, you see a guy in the back room and you're like, hi.
Like you can't, you know, there's like some new one.
I get what you're saying.
I understand his sentiment.
If you are not, if you're not married by the age of 30, you only have a 50% chance of getting married.
And if you don't have kids by the age of 30, you have a 50% chance of not having kids.
You should know that.
And I'm not telling you anything that is that provocative.
It's just the data, right?
having children are a gift from the Lord, and unfortunately our culture deemphasizes it.
And again, you get what you aim at.
You get what you prioritize.
And so, yeah, I just, it's interesting because every hand except a couple.
And I'm not even saying which answer is right or wrong.
It's just if that matters more for you, then everything you do in a daily basis should point towards that.
To add on to that, for the women who are getting married after 30, that's okay.
I'm trying to bridge the gap here
because it is okay. It's not ideal.
It's not probably the best
statistical odd position for you, but it's, but God is good.
There's nothing wrong with it, right?
Right.
I find...
No, it's good. This is good.
If you just want happy talk, then that's fine.
It's good. God is good. You'll find your human. I found mine. And he's amazing.
So how do you tell young ladies to navigate the pressures of hookup culture on a college campus,
where they feel pressured that if they don't get into, let's just say, sexual situations with a male counterpart,
then they will not be able to find a boyfriend or a husband?
He's not meant to be with you.
Like, he needs to honor your purity.
Save it for your husband.
That's simple.
Save it for your husband.
Talk more about how they should go about doing that
because the pressures are so enormous
from free contraceptives to the podcast they listen to.
How many of you feel as if it's very difficult
to maintain your purity on a college campus?
Raise your hand.
Okay, actually it's less than I thought.
So it's easy, good.
Um, no, I guess it's fine. Um, how many, how many people would you, what percentage of young ladies by the time they graduate college do you think still are virgins?
What? Less than 25%? So it's not that easy. Okay. That's interesting. No, I just think I'm just trying to process it because, um, I don't think the church talks enough about purity. Right. I think it's, it's incredibly important. And we should tell,
young men and young ladies to save themselves for marriage. It's a beautiful thing.
Right. No, I agree. Because a lot of people will say, well, how do I know that I'm compatible
with that person unless I test drive the car before I buy it? That's not a real thing. Don't listen to
that lie. Because when you make that covenant with the Lord on that altar, don't let that fire burn out
from the altar. That love is so special and so powerful. You will have natural chemistry
within that marriage. It's not like you're marrying a robot. You married your soulmate. You married
the person who God made for you. You're going to be compatible. You should know that.
So then the question that a lot of young ladies have, but how do you know? How do you know? How do you
know this person is right. And second question, if these young ladies have a liberal boyfriend,
should they dump him? A hundred percent. How many of you have a liberal boyfriend? You have a
liberal boyfriend? Don't boo her. Pray for her. I'm going to tell you you can't change them.
You can't change, no. You're great.
But, so how does a young lady know, and is it ever too early to get married?
If they're 22, and they feel as if they found the right guy, is that too early?
Well, either way, whether you're younger, whatever age you are, I think going through,
I know it has a stigma, but premarital is amazing.
You get to learn so much about the person you're with, and I have seen it prevent marriages
that should not be happening because they are so young and naive with things,
and they're so lustful because they haven't gone down the road of having, you know,
they're saving themselves, so they're just, like, salivating.
Go to premarital.
You'll learn a lot.
When you know he's the one, here's an example.
When Charlie sat across from him and he said, I want to date you,
you want to be with someone who has every intention to not mess with your heart.
You're going to know.
I know it sounds cliche
but you will know
he's not going to
he's not going to treat you like an option
how what advice would you
give to young ladies where
they are much more
more motivated than their boyfriend
how many of you have this problem
raise your hand
oh that's tough it's a big
I think it's a big problem
yeah now I think that they
you should both be motivated but if the
woman is much more motivated than the man
would you agree that
ends up causing structural issue
Right, because the man then ends up leaving his pants on the ground and the woman has to put them on.
And so then she becomes the breadwinner because then the husband's just chill and is like,
I'm fine with, you know, not going any further than the level that I'm at,
while the woman is aspiring to be more and more and more.
So then you become uneven and unequally yoked in your relationship or marriage.
And that's just a recipe for an absolutely disaster.
It becomes disordered.
And there wasn't a ton of hands.
but there were enough where it's a noticeable issue.
And I find it from the young male perspective
that there's a whole longer speech I could give
about the problems with male masculinity.
How many of you think that the current dating pool of young men
is not great?
Raise your hand.
So, no, no, this is very important.
Every hand went up.
This is very important.
What if I told you of every hand of young men
think that the dating pool of you,
young women is not great.
So who's right?
Oh, you guys are right.
Okay.
I encourage you all to have a little more humility about them.
What is one thing young women can do better to make themselves more appealing to men who say
that the current dating pool of young women is lackluster?
Do I ask good questions?
Yes.
I do this for a little bit.
That's why he has such a good podcast and radio show, the Charlie Kirk Show.
Are you guys liking these questions?
You know, this might be so simple, but people pick up on the way you speak.
I'm not talking about, you know, if you sound smart or whatever.
I'm saying they will pick up if you curse.
They will pick up if you're speaking life over someone.
Men hate when women are gossiping.
literally the fire behind your lips is so powerful and if you can find a way to harness your tongue in a way that's biblical
and you dress appropriately you don't have everything hanging out you will attract a different type of guy
now if you're going to the club or wherever you're going and you're trying to appease a guy that is
are you going to bring him to your mom? Are you going to bring him to your grandparents?
Like really just be the type of woman, the godly woman that God needs you to be
to attract the man that he made for you. That's what you need to be.
This is Lane Schoenberger, Chief Investment Officer and founding partner of Y Reefi.
It has been an honor and a privilege to partner with Turning Point and for Charlie to endorse us.
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Young men have serious problems.
We're working on fixing that, right?
And it's easy to laugh, but you need young men.
You do.
And understand that young men are in a far sicker position right now than young ladies are.
They're committing suicide more.
They're checking out a society.
They're on a lot of issues.
And it's easy to kind of make fun of young men,
but a society needs strong men, and we need husbands, and we need fathers.
And everyone in this room should be part of that project of making men strong again.
Everyone. And so let me first say what young men need to embrace. How many of you would agree that
self-control is an attractive quality that's hard to find in men? Every hand goes out.
I totally, I say this to young men all the time, that a young lady cares more that if you can
control your impulses and control your desires, because that is a signal of what? Maturity.
Not of infancy. Self-control is a signal of maturity.
And a young lady, whether she can articulate it or not, when she sees maturity in a man,
she knows that when there's chaos, that man will be able to navigate the family, the relationship,
through that kind of environment.
Young ladies need to be willing to submit to a godly man when you meet one.
And if you're not willing to do that, then you've got to pray about that.
Because a lot of young men in the dating pool say, I don't want to be bossed around all the time.
I'm just telling you what I hear from men.
all the time. The hyper-toxic feminism is very, very off-putting to young men. And I know this is
contrary to what a lot of people here on college campuses. You know, you have to assert your dominance.
You have to kind of call your shot. That's fine. However, an attitude in the dating pool is that it
can be very off-putting to young men that are already put down so much in our society. They're called
toxicly masculine. They're called, you know, who needs men, the patriarchy. And so then they just
largely disengage or they do even a worse thing which is they get involved like I'm just going to
sleep with a bunch of women but not going to marry them right the problem is on both sides in my
personal opinion and again I think that Erica hit it perfectly last thing I'll say and then we'll do
some questions is men want what they cannot have men will do anything to solve the problem of scarcity
anything and if if men can get you questions
easily that it's not an attractive quality to be able to have a man go on a journey with you.
I'm just being very honest with you.
And there's one thing that men want more than anything else, and it's not Bitcoin.
You know what it is.
And as women have not been saving themselves for marriage, and men too, in the last 30 or 40 years,
we've seen marriage rates collapse.
There is a one-to-one correlation on those two things.
And so all that to say that everybody in this room, you have more power than I think you could ever imagine.
If everybody in this room collectively said that we are only going to save ourselves for our future husbands, men will grow up in a way that you would never imagine.
Like you can't believe.
Because all of a sudden they're like, well, because you understand hookup culture has given men everything they've always wanted.
They don't have to work for sex.
They don't have to grow up.
They don't have to do anything, and then women will just throw themselves at them, and they could stay as grown infants for the rest of their life.
And unfortunately, it does a lot of damage to young ladies, a lot.
It does a lot of psychological damage and a lot of spiritual damage.
So if everyone here basically said, nope, we're going to combine our power and be pure and trust in Jesus and in God for our future husband, you would be shocked at how much the dating pool improves.
Okay, I want to tell you about one thing, and then we'll do a question line.
We have a special, who would love to meet Erica Riley Gaines and get a picture with me?
I'm sure that would be a lot of fun, right?
All right, so we have a special giveaway.
If you guys follow the QR codes on our screen, subscribe to the podcast, and then email
at freedom at charliekirk.com.
We'll pick 10 winners, but you have to follow the QR code in the next couple minutes.
So follow that QR code, subscribe and email us proof of subscription, freedom at Charliekirk.com.
You know what's awesome?
are much better rule followers than men,
so I know that all of you are going to get that right.
No, it's true.
Men, if you guys, one of those important things
that I can leave you with, before we go to questions,
if you want to find your future soulmate,
you must desire to humbly know male nature.
How many people here think you know male nature?
Anybody?
Only if you are married, can you raise your hand?
Yeah.
Okay?
Male nature is easy to make fun of, but a lot deeper than you realize.
Raise your hand.
Do you think that men are better at...
Let me put it this way.
Raise your hand if you think that men are better at micro-task than women.
Details.
Anybody?
Okay, a couple hands.
Raise your hand if you think that men are better at macro-tasks than women.
Raise your hand.
Okay, you're right.
even close, okay. Macro. If two people are talking on a college campus, and I told you they were
talking about sports, they were talking about the stock market or politics, is it more likely to be a man,
two men or two women? Two men. If I tell you that two people on a college campus are talking
about their relationships, the conversations they had earlier in the day, and what fellow
classmates were wearing, is it two men or two women?
Micro versus macro.
You must understand that a man might forget to shower for three days
because he's too worried that we're going to go to a nuclear war with Iran.
Men are obsessed with the macro, and they often forget the micro.
This is why corporations want to hire you so badly.
Understand this.
Because you are incredibly good at micro-tasks.
That is why young women have been so well-paid in the corporate environment.
because when it comes to getting details done,
women are much better than men.
No male nature, and you'll be in a much better chance
to find your future husband.
Okay, we'll start right there.
Is that okay?
Hi, what's your name?
My name is Carissa.
Charlie and Erica, thank you for saying yes
and being obedient to what God has for you,
and it's really shaped my life and everyone else here.
I would love to know your thoughts on Sabbath
and how practically your family practices this and applies it.
I will let him talk, but as the wife, I will say, I have seen it transform.
I love my husband, and he's amazing and an intentional father and husband.
But him honoring the Sabbath, I have seen it transform him in a way that is so powerful
that when he turns his phone off and it goes in that drawer, and I know that it's, you know,
he's all on for the family.
There is no distractions.
he finally gets to reset his brain.
He finally gets to breathe.
And as a wife, there is nothing more precious than my husband's sanity when it comes to
the echo chamber and everything that he's dealing with in his world.
So I have seen it change him and impact our family in one of the most beautiful ways.
But I want him to share it.
Well, thank you.
And we're very serious Sabbath keepers.
This would be an exception because we're here with all of you, but we'll do it on Sunday.
we actually take the traditional Jewish Sabbath if you don't want to do that. I'm not here to
debate you on it. It's fine. If you want to do it privately, I'll beat you. But that's a whole separate
issue. But it's fine. It actually doesn't matter that much. What does matter is I think that to
our own detriment and to our own failure, we as Christians have decided to cast away resting on one
of the seven days. God rested after creation. That comes before the Hebrews. It comes even before
the creation of the modern world and civilization as we know it. And so we honor the Sabbath.
We are very serious about it. We get to spend more time with our family. We do no news. We do no work.
And it says very clearly in the scriptures, for six days you shall work and the seventh day you
shall rest. If you are feeling overrun by society, you might be feeling depressed or anxious.
Here's this one way that you might be able to improve. Turn your phone off for one day.
no contact no social media no work your mental health will improve dramatically you can you can hang
out with friends if you can go for a walk but don't work for one day that is a day for worship that is a day
for the lord that is a day to go be with god that is a day to read your bible and be out of the
busyness and the hurriedness and the just the anger and the noise of this world go back to god's
natural rhythm, and it's made our family much tighter knit. And I could be traveling for five or
six days, but if I at least get one good Sabbath with my family, it charges all back up. So God bless
you. Thank you so much. And Shabbat Shalom tonight.
Hi, Charlie and Erica. My name's Savannah. This is Lila Esther, and we have another one on the way
in January. So I did find my godly man, and we did find my godly man, and we
are making more babies. My question for you is we want to have a lot of kids. And I'm wondering
what your best advice is for young couples with small children on how to prioritize and nurture
their marriage amidst the busy day-to-day life of kids. That's a very good question because
your marriage came first. And your husband is very important because your kids, you're raising
them to fly. You're raising them to leave the nest. They'll always come back. And once they do,
I think that's why people get empty nest syndrome
because they look at their husband in an empty living room
and they're like, who are you?
I have to relearn you.
You want to grow with your husband.
That is going to be very acrobatic at times,
even if that means locking yourself in a closet with your husband
for just an hour to say,
can I breathe with you?
Can I just five minutes?
Can I just have a second to look at you?
Something that Charlie does that's really sweet that I love
is that sometimes, especially when he's traveling,
don't, obviously, we figure out the dynamic of at least having a date night, at least once a
month, at least. But there will be moments where he's literally about to rush out the door,
and I won't see him for several days. Kids are wreaking havoc in the kitchen, pulling things out
all over, and he just grabs me, and he's like, one minute. And we just literally stare at each
other for a minute and say, like, I love you, whatever you need to say, but you just, we have
that one minute together to reset our hearts. And honestly, that is something that we, that helps
recharge the bucket until you get that date night. So just being really intentional about little
moments that will build into a greater good for the relationship. But I know you know. I agree with all
that. Just prioritize, obviously, your marriage actually comes before your kids. I know that's a
provocative thing to say, but it's true. Your relationship with your kids is important. Yes.
But it's not covenantal. Right. Your marriage is a covenant. Your relationship with your kids is an
outgrowth of a covenant, they're under your stewardship, but covenantal relationships are ones that
we saw with Abraham and David and Israel and of course Jesus. That idea of marriage being a covenant
is a big, big deal. In fact, only marriage in the Bible is compared to Christ's relationship
with the church. So always prioritize your marriage. Thank you.
Good conversation is about
showing respect. It's how we create a space where people are able to share their ideas and to be
heard. Charlie knew that. TikTok has always strived to build that kind of place that thrives
unrespectful connection where curiosity fuels connection and we can share what's on our minds and learn
from each other. When ideas meet respect, good things happen. On TikTok, you can find a mechanic
explaining the why behind a problem, most of us wouldn't even know how to name, or a father sharing a lifetime
of knowledge with his viewers. Viewers who listen, discuss, and respond. TikTok turns connection
into community through small acts of understanding. You can feel it in the comments in the thank
you from a stranger halfway across the world. TikTok is a place where respect opens the door for
discussion and discussion helps us build something real. Portions of our program are sponsored in part
by TikTok. Hi, my name is Lindsay Cameron. I'm 18 years old and I was homeschooled and I just graduated
high school. And with graduating high school comes the question of, so what are you going to do?
And to be honest, in my career, like, I want to be a mom and I want to have kids and I want to
homeschool them and I want to stay at home with them. And that's just not a really acceptable
answer. And I'm struggling to really know what I want to do in the meantime while I'm waiting
to get married and have kids because I'm not dating and I don't see anybody that I really want
to date. And so I'm just, I mean, I have a lot of friends who are in the same position too
of being in this weird waiting period where I don't want to go to college and I don't want
to commit to a career that I know that I'm going to abandon once I have kids. So I was just
wondering if you'll have any advice for that and if you had any advice with dealing with criticism
because I'm having some from extended family. What, I know we talk about don't follow your
don't follow your heart and all that. Don't follow your heart. It's a bad idea. Do not do that.
No, you laugh, but the Bible is very clear.
The heart is wicked.
Yeah.
Do not follow your heart.
But your talents, right?
Yes, that's correct.
Yeah, I mean, so look, what are you good at?
What are you talented at?
I love people.
I love talking to people all the time.
And honestly, Turning Point USA, like Alex Clark has really shaped my life.
I got really into culture apothecary.
It has kind of changed my life.
And, I mean, I would love to get involved in health and wellness,
but I feel like there's not a really clear path for a career in that.
I feel like most people just kind of happen to fall into it.
to it because of life circumstances, and I don't really know where to start for that.
Yeah, you'd be surprised.
I mean, like, so I could give you a million ideas, but the first thing is you're already
thinking about this correctly, which is your aim, you got your aim, right, which is important.
By the way, if your aim is career, I'm not saying that's bad.
At least you are clear.
Don't confuse yourself of your aim.
We are aiming creatures.
We need something to point at.
I mean, look, there's a million things you could do.
You could work at a mobile IV clinic, right, as an administrator.
Like, there's a lot of stuff you could do in that kind of maha space.
Are you from Texas, I'm guessing?
Yeah, I'm from here.
Okay, yeah, great.
And Dallas actually has a huge infrastructure of, like, new maha, small businesses.
You could work at those kind of around that kind of genre and that outreach.
I will say, though, that don't, if you find your future husband and he is godly,
and it passes premarital counseling, which Erica is exactly right, do not appease extended family.
you only really have one thing to worry about, which is the fear of the Lord, right?
Now, let me just, can we riff on premarital counseling for a second?
It's very, very important, and it shouldn't get a bad taboo.
If you are, anybody currently engaged right now, I'm sure there's some, okay, awesome,
praise the Lord, it's amazing.
Aren't you from Canada or something?
Yeah, I remember you.
You found a husband?
We'll talk in a second.
We'll talk in a second.
I remember you.
That's great.
I hope you did not find your partner here at YWLS.
I hope you, I'm kidding.
So, no, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
So, at SAS, right?
So, premarital counseling.
Who's going to control the finances?
Who's going to wake up in the middle of the night if the kid has an issue?
Are you going to have kids?
How many kids?
Are you going to raise the kids Protestant or Catholic?
Are you going to read the Bible?
Here's a good question in premarital counseling that most won't ask, and this will save you
a lot of problems.
Are you a open or closed house?
Who here grew up in an open house
where all the kids would come by in the neighborhood?
You know what I'm talking about, right?
How many of you was raised in a closed house
where your parents, okay, that's important though.
Has anyone ever told you when you look in a spouse
to ask that question, were you raised an open or closed house?
It's incredibly important.
Because all of a sudden, if you marry an open house person,
this was not an issue for us, thankfully, at all.
but I've seen it destroy marriages, and they've recovered, some not.
An open house person marries a closed-house person, they get married,
they're inviting all their friends over all the time.
Barbecue, open up, and the closed-house person is like, this is crazy.
I wasn't raised like this.
And none of that gets filtered in the engagement.
That's one of like a hundred questions.
That would be a good book we could write.
A hundred questions you should ask before you get married, right?
That would be a good book.
Go ahead. No, no, no. I was just saying the home is sacred.
I could go on, but that's like, you would just have to, what premarital counseling should do,
which it does a bad job of in most churches, is you must really know the nature of your spouse.
Introvert, extrovert. What is their love language, right? Do they need time alone? Do they get filled up when you spend time with them?
Or when they come home and they're beat down, do they need time alone? Here's a good one that almost no pastor will ever tell.
you what is a vice that your spouse struggles with and what is an acceptable vice and an
unacceptable vice so for example an acceptable vice might be that you'll allow alcohol we don't
drink right so that for us i'm not saying you have to do that but for us that's what works so
it's not even a question some men like cigars i think they smell like you know dead raccoons but
that's fine are you willing to smell a cigar have you ever smelled a cigar will your house be able to
withstand cigar smoke inside. You're laughing. This is the stuff that breaks apart marriages.
This is the stuff that creates isolation. And it must be flushed out in the engagement period,
not in the honeymoon period, or two years in. And so other vices, which is like, you know,
we're not going to watch R-rated movies or we're not going to swear. You'd be amazed at how many
marriages all of a sudden, you know, the husband's just dropping F-bombs. She's like, whoa, whoa,
like we don't do that around here you see this who's going to cook right what does it mean to take
time off here's another one what type of vacations are you guys going to take this is very important
right what i should write the book yeah right no but think think about it you because erika grew up
in a camping family right yes we can how many of you guys are camping families yes yeah how many
do you guys think camping is like for neanderthals raise your hand i i
I'm the Eagle Scout.
If it's a necessity for survival, I'll go camping, okay?
His camping's like the four seasons.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay?
No, I have no shame in that, okay?
I have a busy life.
I get like three days off a year.
I'm not going to, like, hang my food by a tree.
For the three days off, I have a year, okay?
That dog's not going to hunt.
For other families, they think it's like invigorating and exhilarating, right?
to like run from the wolves at night or something.
I don't know.
Or like, hey, we're going to go do a road trip.
Road trip, really?
In an RV?
Oh, sounds interesting.
That's like Charlie's worst nightmare to be stuck in a moving vehicle for multiple hours.
I had to go into a trailer that's an RV and they said, isn't this nice?
I would rather go to Alcatraz than you're stuck in this thing.
It's just, it's just, every day...
We went on a cruise once, and that was the last time we'd ever go on a cruise.
No, it's terrible.
Which, I mean, I guess...
This is important because you might think you know your spouse,
and all of a sudden you book, like, a seven-day cruise in the Caribbean,
and it's non-refundable.
And he has the head...
I didn't do this, by the way, just...
But he, Charlie had the headband.
I had the wrist, he had the thing behind his ears, like...
All the things.
I was doing...
I get totally seasick, it's terrible, right?
Yeah. It's, you have to know the nature.
Right?
Yeah.
And unfortunately, we can kind of, we say we want to get married early,
but that does not mean you should get married in a rushed way.
Right.
So two different things.
Early and rushing are not synonyms.
Thank you.
I hope that was somewhat helpful that we took a lot of detours there.
Oh, you want to, do you want to hold it?
Hey, so you're getting married?
Yes.
Amazing.
So speaking of which, I have a winning planning question.
I know that this sounds a bit weird.
So, essentially, I am facing visa delays.
How do I deal with the disappointment
and the feeling of sadness
of having to plan for a peak winter wedding
in the state of Wisconsin?
Wait, so, okay, is it a visa question, or is it...
So, basically, because of the visa delays,
which is beyond anyone's...
beyond basic pretty much anyone's control how do I plan for okay I am going to have a wedding
in the peak winter when there's no outside when when it's really really cold like and I'm feeling
disappointed and sad about it you shouldn't the winter is actually really beautiful there's something
really I know it's cold you can figure out the outfit you can wear a really beautiful shawl over
yourself. There's way more options for winter attire than the typical. Think of it this way.
Your wedding's going to be amazing because you're not having to have the florals and the things.
You'll save a bunch of money. You'll save a ton of money.
Wisconsin and winter, you're going to get a killer deal. Yes, you'll get a killer deal.
But there's something special about the winter season. There really is. And because what comes
after winter, spring, metaphorically, you are springing into a new season. You are springing into a new
season of life, you're springing into a beautiful marriage. Embrace the snow. Embrace the beauty of it.
It might not be ideally what you want. And that's okay because God's challenging you to release
that. The wedding day is a wedding day. It's really not for you. It's for your family. It's important
on the altar. That is for you. But I'm talking about the party. It's really not for you. It's to entertain
and everyone else. So just hold true to the fact that what matters the most, regardless of the
season, is the man and the woman standing at the altar and that covenant you're making. It could be
raining, it could be snowing, it could be a hundred and some degrees like our wedding. That didn't
stop us. What's so important is that marriage and that because when you guys get married, that's your
family. Your husband's your family. Everyone else's relatives. That's your husband.
congratulations and I want to use you as an example what's your name again
Vicki and that was last year when you gave the question two years ago yeah so that was in
2024 so that was last year so Vicki came up last year and said how do I meet a
husband and she made her priority and a year later she's engaged how awesome thank you very
much we got thank you thank you next question yes hi Erica Charlie I'm Melissa and my
question is I'm 20 and I'm single and I want to get married young
However, almost every woman in my life is telling me that I'm not missing out anything.
Do you have any response to that?
The women that are married?
Yes.
Oh, that's so sad.
That's really sad.
I mean, as far as like having kids or the relationship or...
Just like getting married young.
Because when I tell people, like my parents are really supportive about it, but when I tell other people, like in church or like outside of church, I want to get very young, they look down on me.
like why they like they tell me to you know get go to college to get a career so like what is
like a good response to that and like what should I be doing because I don't I don't feel like I'm
missing out but I'm not sure like what I should be doing what church do you go to I must have missed
it in Matthew which is go forth and become a CEO of a shoe company you'd be fruitful and
multiply like I mean first of all you are hitting a very fundamental and precious point I've said for a long
time, we as Christians have done a crappy job of glorifying and celebrating marriage.
It, in fact, when we first got married, I heard almost more negatives than positives.
Like, oh, you're going to be, have your handcuffs or, oh, marriage is the most awesome thing
ever, everybody.
It's amazing.
And I think it's because they didn't have good examples to look towards themselves.
So they either settled or they're not happy because either something in their,
life they didn't settle and get fixed prior to getting marriage they're unequally yoked it's sad uh but
honestly i feel like like i talked about that's a form of spiritual warfare like the enemies will use
anybody to keep you from where god needs you to be so smile and wave just be like i'm so sorry
that happened to you it's not going to happen to me and you just you say i'll be praying for you
i mean marriage is beautiful don't let that deter you it's another thing
thing too. Like, motherhood's the same thing. There are so many Christian moms who will get on social
media and they'll say, I'm so tired, I need wine, my child's driving me nuts. Like, no, no. Motherhood is
beautiful. It's exhausting, but it's beautiful. And it's not going to be those sleepless nights.
Yeah, one day your kid's probably not going to go home until midnight, so the sleepless nights gets
like a little bit construed, but you will sleep again.
You will have, you know, your time again.
But I feel so bad for the women not being able to have people to look towards for marriage and motherhood
because they just are complaining about it mostly, which is sad.
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I have to do this before I forget.
Who here knows nobody in the room?
Raise your hand. Anybody?
Oh, that's cool.
All right.
For those of you that know, keep your hands up.
Keep your hands up.
I like that.
Everybody around the people raising your hands,
now you have to introduce yourself.
And then we fix that problem.
No, seriously, go do that right now and say where you're from.
That's sweet.
That's sweet.
And now you have friends.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
That's what the Young Women's Leadership Summit is all about.
How great is that?
That's sweet.
Next question.
Hi, Mr. Mr. Kirk.
My name is Nevea.
I'm 18 years old and I was homeschooled my whole life and just graduated last year.
Thank you.
So right now I'm in that period of my life where I'm trying to establish myself.
So I've been working for myself online as a YouTuber and a podcaster from the time I was 15.
I'm actually trying to work for you right now.
So that's what I've been focusing on.
But I do have a really strong desire as a Christian to eventually get married and have children.
And I want to homeschool my kids as well eventually.
So I'm wondering what your advice is for balancing those two desires
and what to prioritize at what state.
of your life since women can't have it all?
Women can...
They can't have it all, but it's not simultaneously, like different seasons.
Your career, again, like I said, is not going anywhere.
So what you're establishing now on YouTube and your platform and all that stuff,
it's not going anywhere.
What I will recommend, though, is when you do have children,
do not use your children as pawns for a discount code.
Do not use your child for a free school.
controller for some influencer thing.
Your children are sacred.
Protect them.
That is your role as a mother.
Your platform was given to you by God,
so steward it well and steward it properly.
But it's not going to go anywhere.
What you're building now is not going to get destroyed.
I think that's what a lot of people get misconstrued
is thinking like, okay, what I'm building now
is going to be worthless once I have a family.
No, God will redirect it.
He'll turn it into whatever it needs to turn into.
Pray on it because it's not always super
clear, but it will come to you. And I think that, yes, every season is going to come and have
its own time and turn, but if this is what you're focusing on right now, like, that's what
you're focusing on. I mean, I don't... I think you're in a great spot, honestly, and Erica
answered it beautifully. So, again, if you have to always prioritize what matters most, and with
that, the Lord will open up the right doors. Thank you. All right. Let's see how
quick this one is this might be the last question yes okay hi guys my name's lily um so one thing is a piece
of advice i'd love the other is a question whichever one you guys have time for um so first of all
with gentle parenting and then you have like abusive homes what is the balance of biblical
discipline in love um and also i would love advice for if you know you have a godly guy in your life
you guys agree on a lot of things um spiritually and politically but you still feel like there's a little
bit more maturity that needs to go, how do you wait on the Lord? And how do you go about that?
I'll take the second one. I'll take the first one, too, but I want to hear, I mean, it's
powerful to hear from the father. The most important thing as a parent is that you must instill
self-control, not self-esteem for your kid. Whatever it takes, you must have them understand
the power of restraint, which is a fruit of the spirit. Remember, self-control is a fruit of the
spirit. That's much easier said than done, right?
I could tell you more about what not to do
and what we're not doing than what we're doing
because we're still figuring it out
but we know what not to do.
It is a civilizational tragedy
when Eric and I go out with our two kids to eat
and we go look at another family
and everyone has their eyes on a screen.
It's so sad.
I just, it is so beyond,
and I don't want to sound judgmental.
Maybe they had like a long day at work or something.
I really find no excuse whatsoever
because these kids put on these headphones
and they just escape reality
staring at these screens all day long
and it's really, really bad everybody
and it's totally unnecessary.
We have a very hyperactive two-year-old
you just have to just have them color something,
have them, right?
I bring an arsenal of a backpack.
I have Plato. I have paints.
I have anything you can imagine.
Totally. You just load up that bag
and that's what you're teaching them.
you make it fun here's your fancy napkin you get to order like this is really special if they have to
get up and go outside and run around so be it but you're teaching them how to interact with adults you're
teaching them how to be patient if you're putting a screen in front of them you're teaching them a way
to escape the data shows this but we anecdotally can confirm this even like five minutes of screen time
they get bradier yeah they get more unruly they just kind of get disconnected from where they are
we could see a total behavioral difference with our daughter as soon as they're
like a screen introduced. Even if it's just Spotify.
Like even if she's like, I want to choose
my song. Do you want to listen to
a man? And she, but like
five minutes later, she's like,
you can't. It's like she's droned in.
Right. So we have one screen for the whole
family, Central and it's same as
Matt Walsh, and I kind of got this from him.
There's agreed upon stuff that we're
allowed to watch as a family, and it's a very, very
short list, right? It's like
Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and then
the Chicago Cubs. And the
Charlie Kirk Show. And the Charlie Kirk Show.
And we don't allow it later in the day unless the Cubs are playing.
That's a whole separate issue.
They happen to be good this year.
And then maybe some college football.
But that's like we're so careful because we can do the whole parenting.
But as far as this, this is a very difficult thing.
And it's hard for, it's very hard actually.
But it must be said, you are not your kid's friend.
Right.
That is like, it is, I know that it sounds easy to hear.
You are their parents.
It is an up and down relationship.
It is not a horizontal one.
You are not their equal.
And I see in public sometimes these parenting displays
that it's so sad where it's just placation.
The parent is being held hostage by the child.
It is like an ongoing blackmail operation.
No, I'm not kidding.
Where it's like, give me candy or else I riot.
It's like completely different than like BLM.
It's no different than BLM.
It's like, you know, give me something or also I'm going to tear up.
Turn the place down.
No, seriously.
It's like, no, you need rules and order.
And, like, Erica's been amazing.
She deserves, you deserve so much credit.
Like, sometimes you leave the restaurant.
Sometimes, like, nope, we're done, actually.
You made a fool of yourself.
We're done.
We gave you one last warning, right?
And final thing is that, and Alex Clark has been phenomenal on this,
she deserves a lot of credit.
she does and it's informed us amongst bobby kennedy and others what you are putting into your kids
really matters especially sugar carbohydrates how they behave if you feed them good stuff parenting
becomes easier not easy but easier truly truly i forget what your question gentle parenting and
the maturity of a man he's not quite there yet he's not as mature as she would like i would have him
find someone, if you have a solid church that you go to, I would share that with either the
pastor or someone within the church that you look up to and have a male figure pour into him.
Not a stranger or not an uncle or not a brother. Someone totally a separate party that's not
connected. It can be private, but have him go and get mentored once, twice a week and really just
have someone he can look towards to see, like, this is the way to be a biblical. He needs to hear one
thing. Just one sentence. You will lose her if you don't grow up. If he hears that, radical change will
happen. If the right person says that, he doesn't need a whole feeling session. We don't need that
as men. We don't need emotionality. No, no. You need conviction and order and a challenge,
and we need like high stakes. And if we hear you're going to lose what you take for granted, if you
don't, watch radical change ensue. Thank you. Last question.
Sorry.
Hi, guys. My name is Violet. I'm from San Antonio. I'm super emotional as well, I'm sure I'm not the only one. And I also know that men are very logical and kind of have our time with that. So I was wondering, Charlie, what do you do to really nurture Erica's emotional side when your boy brain is like trying to answer every question and be logical with her?
it's a great question um this is why understanding female nature to the best of our ability as men is
very important and again we've we've had like different configurations of a men summit but i talk to men
a lot on campus and through my content and stuff but it's what i tell them is that you must understand
god wired us a lot differently like the biggest thing is really time time with your spouse
time to have your spouse be able to think or talk about that specific situation that has them
maybe fired up, right? And then also sometimes men look at, we have a problem where we think
we are the firefighter to put out a fire. We see problem, we want to fix it, right? We see broken
engine, we come to repair it. Right? Sometimes the solution is just talking about the problem,
which for us is like an incomprehensible thing.
it's like wait why would you talk about the problem and not solve the problem because sometimes the
problem is the fact that it hasn't been talked about am i right am i understand female nature
and it's like for men it's like it's like what do you it's like a distant thing and similarly for you
when you have husbands right it might drive you crazy that you can't and eric and i we talk about
this you can't get out more than three how was your day fine
you know what would you do today stuff a lot of stuff they're not it's not an insult to you no they're
tired tired and our brains work differently right it's for women conversation especially conversation
about nothing is therapeutic okay no i'm sorry it's very cathartic okay for men it's exhausting
And for us, we like to unplug and we like to watch or see somebody else do something hard.
That's what sports is, right?
Or a movie.
Like, for us, we either want to do hard things or watch other people do hard things.
That's like men in a nutshell, okay?
We either want to be the ones doing the hard thing, like mowing the lawn or chopping down a tree, right?
Or we want to watch other people do hard things.
Okay?
for women they're like well let's talk for 45 minutes and that's not there's nothing wrong about that
emotionality is a beautiful thing this is why we are not AI right we're not chat GPT we have a soul right
and god made us different for a reason and on and I want to I just want to brag on the women of
America because there's a lot of bashing of like feminism and there should be there's a lot
a bashing of women in the country, of like, how they veered off track, some of which honestly
is warranted. But the one thing that is not talked about enough is how women have kept church
attendance and the faith alive in the West in a much better job than men, the last third. No,
it's a very real thing. This is why Mother's Day church service is one of the highest attendance
of the year besides Easter and Christmas. Why? What do you want for Mother's Day, honey? I want to
bring the entire family to church.
What do you want for Father's Day, honey?
I don't know, golf or watch golf. Remember? Do hard things.
Watch people do hard things. I don't want to go to church.
By the way, let me just say, for men out there that are listening in the internet,
if you do not lead your family to church, it is the number one predictor that your children
will not also go to church. But it deserves so, women, you deserve so much credit for keeping
church attendance alive, for serving in the churches, for volunteering in the churches.
for keeping the entire faith robust,
and now we're seeing a resurgence of young men finally come back,
and it's something I don't think that's always articulated
of how the American church has really been saved and strengthened by women in America.
Final thoughts?
So something that he does to pour into me emotionally is,
or to just check in from that standpoint,
is if he comes home, he's tired, how's your day, great, blah, blah, blah, and I'm still cooking, whatever.
on his Sabbath when he has a moment he writes me a note he has not missed one he writes me a note
either leaves it on my pillow hands it to me i have saved every single one of them and those notes
are what refill me emotionally if i need that filling he's very good about that so when you're
in a relationship how it's important to know your spouse's nature it's also important to know
your own. What do you want him to do to help pour into your emotional side? What is something that
makes you tick and your heart tick? Do you want him to write you a note? Do you want him to tell you
you you're beautiful? Do you want him to take you on a date? Do you want him to bring you flowers? Do you
hate flowers? Do you want a cake? It's like you learn what will speak to you so that you can check
that box in your head. Even on a day where he says five words, but he brought you flowers and you're
like, wow, I feel loved. I get it. Just like, be sure to communicate.
that though he can't read your brain it's the the famous thing of where do you want to go eat for
dinner i don't care we'll go to chipotle i don't want chipotle like you need to be able to know your
own nature to tell your husband not train him but to is a team this is what i want this is what i
expect i love you so much please this is how you can pour into me how can i pour into you charlie and i
check in with each other every single day how can i serve you better what can i do for you to make it
better when you get home. Is there anything that you need me to have ready for you when you come
back from the office or this trip, XYZ? He asks me the same thing if I'm out doing something
or even if I'm out with the kids, what can I do? How can I make your day better? You're a team
and you guys are not at ends with each other, work together, communicate, and grow together
as equally yoked partnership. It's beautiful. And thank you for that. I want to plug one thing
and then I will say one last thing to the whole audience,
and thank you.
I want all of you to start a Turning Point USA chapter
at your high school or college.
Who's here at Turning Point USA Chapter Leader?
Raise your hand.
We need more of you to go start Turning Point USA chapters.
You could do so out there.
There's amazing giveaways associated.
The final thing, I'll say two final things.
And Eric, do you have any final thoughts?
Before I get to my two final things,
I'll go quick while you think about it.
The first of which is,
we're going to have a whole Q&A for politics
or whatever you want tomorrow,
or more relationship stuff if you want.
Do not talk down to men.
Do not engage in this toxic masculineity bashing of men.
Not only do we need men, the civilization is,
God created man and women.
And it's very tempting to get into the whole kind of girl-dominant society.
You do not want to live in that world.
I'm telling you right now, you do not.
You want to live in a world where the best of both sexes are equally balanced.
The other thing I'll say, which is this kind of funnier,
it's hard to put into words how much men want a just like a return to normal things
like cooking a meal like serving in like those fundamental ways like that stuff as a husband
or even a boyfriend goes beyond measure than I can put into words and make it fun
what do you want to eat and then like have them make a menu and then it's a good challenge
for you so like I cooked swordfish the other night it was okay wasn't my best
but like great but that goes to say just make things fun don't again don't look at it as i have to
i get to serve my husband i get to submit unto my husband because he's submitting himself to the
lord there is a balance and there's something really beautiful about that balance if you have a situation
where you don't have someone in your life that you can look towards as a healthy marriage find
seek that out, whether that's in your church, whether that's in your community, whether that's
something online. Hold on to that so that you can have some form of an understanding of, okay, this
is what I have to look forward to. I'm so excited. And God will make sure that the right man will come
in your path. He won't walk past you. He won't miss you. God is always on time, and so is your
future husband. So just wait on the Lord, and you'll get everything that you've prayed for and more.
stuff that you prayed for that you thought you needed, you'll get way beyond that
because God knows truly the desires of your heart.
If you see anybody that looks lonely, go introduce yourself.
Totally.
Make sure you counsel them and make a friend out of them.
We want people to leave friends for a lifetime here, and we are just getting started.
The next couple days are going to be life-changing.
God bless you all.
Thank you so much.
For more on many of these stories and news you can trust, go to charliekirk.com.
Thank you.
