The Charlie Kirk Show - Self-Control vs. Self-Esteem and Other Life Lessons from Charlie

Episode Date: October 11, 2026

Charlie became a hero to millions not just for his takes on politics, but because he had so much wisdom about life at such a young age. This compilation collects some of his best pieces of advice for young people. Charlie lays out the importance of creating a hierarchy of goods, why self-mastery should come before self-esteem, the need to acquire about practical knowledge and eternal knowledge, and a lot more. Watch every episode ad-free on members.charliekirk.com!    Get new merch at charliekirkstore.com!Support the show: http://www.charliekirk.com/supportSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My name is Charlie Kirk. I run the largest pro-American student organization in the country fighting for the future of our republic. My call is to fight evil and to proclaim truth. If the most important thing for you is just feeling good, you're going to end up miserable. But if the most important thing is doing good, you will end up purposeful. College is a scam, everybody. You've got to stop sending your kids to college. You should get married as young as possible and have as many kids as possible. Go start a turning point USA college chapter. Go start a turning point you would say high school chapter.

Go find out how your church can get involved. Sign up and become an activist. I gave my life to the Lord in fifth grade. Most important decision I ever made in my life and I encourage you to do the same. Here I am. Lord mused me. Buckle up, everybody. Here we go.

Noble Gold Investments is the official gold sponsor of the Charlie Kirk Show, a company that specializes in gold IRAs and physical delivery of precious metals. Learn how you could protect your wealth with noble gold investments at noble gold investments.com. That is noble gold investments.com. I would just like to know, you know, you being a husband, a father, and a big political figure, it's like how do you cope with like making all those things important in your life? You mention a lot, which is I'm a big fan of Aristotle. Aristotle talked about a hierarchy of the good. When you have a lot going on, this is a good rule for young people. You got to make a hierarchy of what matters most.

And you've got to prioritize that thing over other things, which means, by definition, other things are going to slip aside. And realize it's not all about you. And this is one of the great, I just, I hate the self-love movement. I hate the self-esteem movement. It's on so much damage. I think it's one of the great philosophical carcinogens in our society in so many different ways. I saw this sign the other day. They said, it's your imperfections that make you perfect.

And I thought to myself, I said, well, then therefore, by definition, the more imperfections you have, the better you are. are? Or my favorite one is, the world is better because you're in it. Now, that might sound like a good message, but in reality, it should be a question. Is the world better because you're in it? Right? And so, it should be a question. It has the world become a better place because of you. Now, so the idea of a hierarchy of what matters most is not taught a lot to our kids. There's a big lie out there that you could have it all. And That's not true. You can't. You have to make sacrifices. You could still do a lot. You could still run a business and you could still do things, but you have to make time for what matters most. One of the reasons why we have such a depressed generation, suicidal generation, we have such an anxious generation, a medicated generation. Is they're thinking about themselves all the time? I believe a people that is not dedicated to service is a very depressed people. It's not always about you. Sometimes you have to do stuff you don't like because it's going to benefit somebody else. By the way, we just know that scientifically you're a happier person because we know that,

regardless of the spiritual implications or the moral implications. And so we have an entire generation that's always asking, how do you feel? How do you feel about that? It's actually quite irrelevant. It matters more about what you're doing. And here's a thought-provoking thing for you. Generally, what you do should dictate how you feel, not how you feel with what you do. That's a good general rule to tell a young person.

Another good rule for life, which is self-controls a lot more important than self-esteem. but we do the opposite. Thank you. What advice would you give to a young kid that wants to do something similar to what you've done with their career as far as starting turning point USA and just impacting people? So I started turning point USA when I was 18. I never went to college and ended up being a great decision for me. I took a gap here. Not everyone in this country needs to go to college.

We have way too many people going to college in our country. Strive to be a better person every single day because your character is a reflection of your soul. learn something new every single day. It doesn't matter where you go to college. It's just a piece of paper, honestly. What matters is who you are as a person. If you want to succeed, you also must be willing to

keep pushing on and enduring when things get really, really tough. Take the relationships with people that are older than you very seriously and memorialize those conversations forever. So those smartphones, I think, are destroying our country. But one thing they're good for,

is they're really good at recording. They're good at recording. Voice memos or conversations. Next time you sit down with a grandparent or a business person, record those conversations. You're going to want them. When you encounter difficulty, train yourself to blame yourself. Train yourself to say it's my fault. What did I do wrong?

That's hard. Trust me. It's really easy to blame others. It might be somebody else's fault. But find something you could have done differently. And if you get in the practice of doing that, you'll be a stronger person. The final thing is this. Amherse yourself in eternal knowledge.

There's two types of knowledge. Practical knowledge and eternal knowledge. Practical knowledge is who's the governor. Eternal knowledge. Things that never change. We also call it wisdom. The more wise you are, the more cheerful and happy you will be. You live in a wonderful country.

We got problems. We got ridiculous leaders. You got all that stuff. Man, what a gift we've been given. Don't get into the whole complaining that everything around me is terrible and awful. We talked about many of that. But believe that your actions matter. Apply yourself accordingly.

work harder every single day. And after a decade of that, I think you'll be in a pretty good place. I wanted to clarify what I screamed earlier. I screamed the word yes. I was just really excited. But my parents immigrated here with basically no money from Vietnam. Okay, because you said your parents were super rich from Vietnam. You screwed up my moment, man.

I know, I'm so sorry. I was just really excited here. So just to be clear, they came with almost no money from Vietnam. Yeah, and now we all... Honestly, God bless your parents. They're great patriots. I'm glad I'm glad you're here. We own our own private business,

and I'm a living example of why, privilege does not exist. So let me get to my point. I'm a 17-year-old high school student. Wow. I drove an hour over here just to see you. I'm a member of the Turning Point USA chapter at my high school, and we actually hope to get Isabel Brown there soon. So my question is, is whenever I try to open up controversial topics at my school, no one ever really wants to talk about it because they just don't want to. And my question was, is it because politics just aren't for everyone or not? And is there, should there be a age to when people should be able to talk about and have this conversations about politics? All ages should talk about it. Only, we shouldn't lower

the voting age though. That's a very bad idea. But we should not lower the voting age. But I just want to applaud you, man, for your leadership at turning point. I'd say, look, a lot of, just look around though. Look how promising this. People are standing here for hours just to hear about political, philosophical debates. That's a good thing, regardless of where you approach these issues. In high school, honestly enjoy the fact that not everyone wants to talk about politics all the time, because that's it's actually kind of refreshing to hear that that there's still a remnant of that. Yes and no, I would say. October 15th, write it down, set an alarm because the second that date passes, there's no extension,

no grace period, no second chance, liens, wage garnishments, bank account seizures, that's the IRS taking what you've earned. If you've filed an extension and haven't submitted your return yet, stop what you're doing and call America Tax Group, the nation's leading tax firm right now. And do so at 888-381-3816. Mention the code Kirk 26 when you call for $250 off. Miss this deadline and failure to file penalties are assessed immediately with interest, compounding daily, growing your debt every single hour. Every hour past October 15th, hands the IRS more power over your life. So if you owe back taxes or haven't filed, Understand this. It's not a matter of if the IRS will act. It's when, and that clock is ticking.

Dealing with the IRS without professional help is extremely risky, so don't do it. Not with days left on the clock. So protect your financial security with guidance from America Tax Group. Call the firm I trust right now before October 15th. 888-381-3816. Mention the code Kirk 26 when you call for $250 off. And I just wanted to ask, like, this is a bit of an extreme example, but what age should the conversation be opened up, though, through politics? Like, should eighth graders be talking or debating about abortion? Yeah, I think that probably, like, 12 years old, like, let me think, 12 would be fifth or sixth grade. I think fifth or sixth grade is where politics should start to be discussed, yeah. Okay, and then my final, not too deeply, like a surface level, yeah.

Yeah, and then my final question is, is for people who are still learning and growing their minds, like me, I'm 17, what would your advice? to be for people who just want to debate more. Yeah, so debate less and read more. So you've got to read at least 100 books a year. Okay? 100 books a year. If you aren't reading 100 books a year, you're not serious about your intellectual journey. You might say that's too many.

You can listen to them too, right? The best, spend less money on booze, alcohol, drugs, and nightclubs, and more money on audiobooks. Your life will be better. Trust me. I try to be a living example of that. I try to read 100, 120 books a year. I'm always listening to stuff, always reading stuff.

I don't remember at all, but I remember a fair amount of it. And it just creates into a happier, deeper, wiser person. And the more you dedicate yourself to reading, debating will become easier. Okay. I work as an ab-the-school teacher for four-to-fifth graders. One of my questions is, is there any advice that I could give to the youth to help? Oh, sorry. Do you have any advice to give to the youth because of our corrupted society that we have now of this social norm of the West, especially?

How can I help them and give them the wise, especially as a person? religious man. I love that. Is that basic economics? Yes. Can I see that? That is a great book. You are a great teacher. Everyone should read this by Thomas Sol, by the way. Good for you, man. That's awesome. You want me to sign it? Yeah. All right. So, great question. So let's, you, you hit the most important element of education. So it should be about developing wisdom, not just knowledge. So wisdom is the understanding of things that do not change. It's the most important thing you could teach a young person. We are filled with knowledge-based institutions, and we are lacking wisdom-based institutions.

Wisdom is understanding the deeper permanent topics that will be true 200 years from now, and they were true 200 years prior. For example, are human beings naturally good or not so good? What is good? What is evil, right? What is mercy? What is compassion? What is justice? What is truth? This is much more important for people to grapple with than, well, I could tell you who the five members of the California legislature. That's fine. That's knowledge. But we are lacking in wisdom in the West. It is a crisis of wisdom.

And here's the cool thing about wisdom. Anybody can access it at any time. It does not require a college degree. It doesn't require a special credential. Anybody can be wise. It just so happens. the most common way people get wisdom is through what? Suffering.

That's why old people are so wise, because they've suffered a lot. And through suffering, you end up getting a lot of wisdom. Good times do not make you wise. Sucky times do. But I just want to talk a little bit about life, which is, I think that one of the things that students don't hear enough on college campuses is how do you live a happy and fulfilling life? Should be thankful for life.

It's a gift. It's a beautiful thing. a true appreciation of the deeper and eternal thing starts with wonder. When I was landing here today, I saw incredible natural beauty. I saw mountains that looked like they were literally on fire. You guys hear that all the time. It makes you wonder what else out there is beautiful and worth preserving. What else out there is eternal and elevated?

What else out there is something that we should try to go above and beyond and make sure it doesn't get corrupted? that makes sure that it doesn't get destroyed. And that starts with gratitude. It starts with being thankful. And the first thing is being thankful for life. Thankful for consciousness. Thankful for existence.

Thankful for things that are deeply, objectively good. And we want, we as conservatives then, I kind of just say this in general, that we want to design a society that gives preference on your choices and your actions and your behavior, not on your complaints or, or your grievances or the mobilization thereof. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm perfectly kind of on board with breaking up certain companies and using political power to try and make that easier. But generally, I think that it's very important for people to try and prioritize that the greatest battle you'll experience in life is the struggle within

that we must tell young people, that we must understand that it's self-control, that the improvement of your own character is the thing that you must prioritize above anything else. And it's a disservice to tell young people, you know what, the greatest struggle in life is you against racism. The greatest struggle in life is you against... No, the greatest struggle in life is you going to be able to control your own impulses,

to work up early to go to work, to say that I want to become a better and more developed human being. And put very simply, we as human beings, thank you. Before he ever stepped onto a debate stage or behind a microphone, Charlie understood something really important, that if you want to lead, you first have to learn. Charlie believed that ideas shaped character, conviction, and courage. That's why he spent years studying the classics, the American founding and the Bible through Hillsdale College's free online courses. He would rave about these courses all the time.

These free online courses are taught by Hillsdale College professors and draw from the same great books and enduring ideas studied on Hillsdale's campus. Hillsdale's newest free online course, is the Iliad, where Professor Stephen Smith guides students through Homer's great epic of honor, courage, friendship, leadership, and the pursuit of true greatness. For nearly 3,000 years, the Iliad has shaped the Western imagination. It tells the story of Achilles as he confronts injustice, rage, grief, responsibility, and the terrible costs of war. But Homer's epic is more than a story of ancient battles. It raises enduring questions about courage, duty, leadership, sacrifice, and self-command. Achilles is the greatest warrior among the

Greeks, but Homer asks whether strength alone is enough to make a man truly great. In this new free online course, you'll follow Achilles through the defining trials of his life and discover why one of the greatest works of Western literature still speaks to the permanent questions of human life. Charlie understood that learning isn't just about gaining knowledge. It's about forming the mind and character needed to face the challenges of life with wisdom and courage. You can enroll today, completely free, and take this class or their 40-plus other free online courses, just visit Charlie for Hillsdale.com to start learning today. That's Charlie for Hillsdale.com. Learn deeply. Think clearly, lead boldly, and carry it forward, just like Charlie.

We as conservatives believe that happiness is a choice. We're happy. Regardless of out bad things are falling apart in our country, we're happy to be alive. We're thankful for our existence. Happiness is a choice. If you go around trying to find happiness, all of a sudden you'll seek pleasure over virtue. If you try to go find happiness as a state, it's nonsense. Happiness is a choice. It's a state of mind. It's something that you must commit yourself. You must work at it too. You must say, man, what am I thankful for today? And I'm not trying to diminish suffering. Let me be very clear. Everybody here has something you're going through. And it's a serious thing. But that's not to say, what does it mean to live a fulfilling life? To walk around always looking at something worthy of

protesting, tearing down, deconstructing, disassembling, or saying, man, If I made these 10 choices, if I stopped drinking, if I stopped doing drugs, if I stopped complaining, maybe my life will improve a little bit. Maybe if I will a sudden start taking responsibility for my actions, I'll start to see the fruits of those choices. That's a fundamental difference. Because at the core, and I am not saying there are not public policy changes that need made, trust me, there's plenty. But the real struggle that we must all understand is that it's you against you. you, that if you devote yourself to saying, you know what, I'll be happy as soon as we get universal health care. I'll be happy as soon as we get this person. That's never going to happen.

The reason we have so many people searching for purpose in our country is because we have said to so many students, don't go find responsibility, go find immediate pleasure and gratification, that we must instead prioritize things that make you have to all of a sudden challenge yourself. Character is developed in the challenge. Strength rejoices in the challenge. And we sometimes need to say, you know what? It's a good thing that you've got to live a little bit tougher of a circumstance right now. As a 17, 18 or 19-year-old, it'll make you a tougher person in the long run.

All right, what's going on, man? First of all, just two points. Coming from someone in a situation like you that you never went to college, but you became very successful. Coming from someone in a situation like you that you've never gone to college, but you're successful doing Tuning Point USA. What do you recommend to someone who's in a situation where I don't know what I want to do in my life, but unfortunately, I'm at school, spending a bunch of money because I'm stupid. No, that's okay.

I want to be clear. Can I interrupt? You guys can make college into a success. When we say college is a scam, that's us saying that they're charging you too much money, and the value proposition is inverted. But don't use that as a victim and say, oh, I can't get any value at it. Find the value. Hold on to the value.

But please continue. What about, well, how do you become successful without college? Okay, yeah. So, first of all, I don't want to put you on the spot, but I'm sure, I'm sure you're good at something. What is your skill? If you had to say, the thing I'm the best at. I do love talking. Okay.

I love dialogue. I do love, I want to say arguing, but I do like exchanging differences. Great. So now you're in the one, you're already in the one percent of the country. 99% of people hate talking. In fact, the greatest fear in America is public speaking more than death. True. So now a sudden you're in like a whole different category.

Right. Believe it or not, every single job on every single company on the planet needs somebody that's good at communicating. Everyone, right? So whatever it is that you do, try to gravitate towards the thing that you like and that you're good at, which is to explain. Right. Right. Whatever that is in a company, because there's a lot of people that might be really good. Like, I don't want to give the presentation, you know, and that so you just kind of answer your own question. Here's the biggest thing. Be a lifelong learner. Don't stop learning just because you might not be in college. Are you freshman sophomore? I'm actually a senior. Okay, get your degree. That's my, finish it. It's like, you know, you've already invested this much. Get your degree in whatever it is. It'd be stupid not to. If you were a freshman, we might have a different discussion.

Okay. So finish that out. And then whether, if it's useful to you, great. If it's not, then so be it. And then try to find things that is the intersection of your skill and your passion. That's where you're going to succeed the best in life. I talk about jobs and industries on this show all the time. But I didn't expect to find an entire skills trade community on TikTok.

Plumbers. builders and contractors sharing the work they do every day. And it went way beyond tips and tricks. People were sharing their craft, connecting with local contractors and talking about how they were building their businesses and growing their teams. It opened my eyes to how people in the trades are using TikTok to share their skills, make connections and find new opportunities. I remember thinking, this is exactly what we need more of, people sharing what they know

and creating opportunities for others. And I never expected to find a community like this that's the thing about TikTok. You start with something you know, and suddenly you're finding a whole new side of it that surprises you and leaves you wanting to know more. Your next discovery is waiting for you on TikTok. Learn more at TikTok.com slash discover more. Dating is a struggle. What's your advice to young conservatives? And also, how do you feel about dating apps?

Yeah, so I'm not a huge fan of dating apps, but so I'll have an opinion here that will really get people. You should not date people that have different politics than you. You should not. And I'm not so, and the reason, I believe you should date with the intent to marry. I don't think date is a hobby. I think dating is an interview process. And I know that is a minority opinion on most college campuses where date is a mechanism for, I don't know, companionship amongst other things.

It's going to have to hopefully only date people in alignment with your values, right? That doesn't mean you can't have friends with people that disagree with you. but dating is a very serious thing. So how do you go about doing them? Try to associate or marry or date somebody that does share your deeply held values. I think that's very, very important. And secondly, I will say this,

which is men in general who have difficulty finding women generally have a couple problems. And this is not directed towards you. I just met you. So please, we're good if I say this? Okay, most men are beta males, okay, with very little to any,

very little to any detectable testosterone like the radar is trying their best men I believe especially in this time of moral and societal chaos need to get back into what it means to be a physically and mentally strong man which I believe includes stopping watching pornography

which I believe means working out on a regular basis and I believe also understanding that the most deserous The desirable quality that young ladies look for in men, according to my big survey of all of our listeners, is self-control. Is that young ladies say that they cannot find a young man who can control himself. That's a big deal. So put that all together. What are you supposed to do?

Try to be the best version of yourself and then be very clear with women and respectfully about what you want and your intent. A lot of men are intimidated by women. And I get it. It's because our entire culture has basically turned men to be intimidated by women. They might accuse you as something or whatever. I would encourage you to be very direct. Don't try this whole. Like, yeah, we're going to try the friend thing for a while. Like, just be a man and tell like, I like you. I want to take on a date. Like, does that happen anymore? Maybe it does. Probably not a lot. My name is Grace. I'm 13, and I've been homeschooled since kindergarten.

I really appreciate your podcast. Politics can be difficult for me to. fully understand, but the way in which you present ideas makes it easier to grasp. My younger sister and I recently started watching the online Hillsdale College course regarding the Constitution, which we've been enjoying. So this is my question to you. What advice do you have for me as I move into adulthood in order to become a more informed and involved citizen? Well, first of all, thank you for being here, and I have hoped thanks to people like you. How old are you again? 13.

13. So here's a couple of things I want to encourage you to do. Learn something new every single day. And focus on what it means to be a good person and a person of strong character and especially when you get into the world of trying to be

around social approval and kind of everything around you. Courage is what's missing in our country. We have a courage crisis right now. Moral courage is the most necessary yet absent characteristic in men, George S. Patton. Aristotle, who you will learn about if you continue on the wonderful Hillsdale courses, and I'm glad you're already taking us. You're already well on your way. Aristotle said that

courage is the ultimate virtue. Without it, there are no other virtues. Think about that. If people aren't courageous, you don't have honesty. You don't have justice. You don't have anything else that we don't have beauty. You don't have wonder. If people don't have courage to act. And so at age 13, I want you to commit yourself to a life of courage. Courage is doing the right thing when you don't know how it's going to work out. Courage is committing yourself to the correct course of action, regardless of the cost associated to it. And I'm given hope by the amount of young homeschooling children that are rising up in our country. Now, let me tell you this.

People say, Charlie, what does success look like? New York Times headline in 2050, America's sudden, sudden, shocking, and inexplicable right turn can be traced back to homeschooling explosion during COVID-19. That's what success looks like. everybody. For more on many of these stories and news you can trust, go to charliekirk.com.