The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - 22 WITHOUT A BOO | Drew Afualo ft. Anania | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 34

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew welcomes Anania to the show this week to talk about the terrors of dating, when terrible men talk about their "preferences", professional headshots on dating app profiles, and so much more. Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo    Anania: https://www.instagram.com/anania00               https://www.tiktok.com/@anania00 ABOUT THE COMMENT SECTION It’s going DOWN in the comments in this new weekly show from defender of women on the internet, Drew Afualo! Join Drew and a new weekly guest as they explore the dreaded COMMENT SECTION of their tagged videos on TikTok. Through a candid discussion and lots of laughs, Drew keeps it real and gives in-depth advice on the issues that you care about most. https://lnk.bio/thecommentsection Subscribe to Past Your Bedtime on YouTube for the video version or anywhere you listen to podcasts for the audio version! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I made fun of what a dude looked like because he said a bunch of mean shit about me. And then I literally wrote, um, your chest is so concave. If I knocked on it like a front door, your heart would shoot out your back. You bird chested ass bitch. That's what I wrote. Hold on. One second. 50-50 if my zipper's up or down anymore.

Take my pants off at home. Make them off easy. I'm like, I that was four hours I was walking around like. Netflix is a joke presents. Nate Bargatsy, Big Dumb Eyes World A special live taping at Into a Dome. I think it's because I'm peeing so much longer. I watch young people come and go.

I like tell my family I'm okay. Nate Bargatsy, May 9th and 10. Live at Into It Doe. Get tickets at Netflix at Jokefest.com. Hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your fave. Who cares about me? Today I'm so excited to introduce you all to one of my favorite guests of all time,

Miss Anna Naya. Oh, I thought we shouldn't yell. So excited. I'm glad. I'm glad you yelled. I feel like I'm going to cry. Yell as much as you want. Oh, thank you for me.

I'm so happy to have you. You're like, you two are another one that was like highly, highly requested. Oh, nice. Yeah, and I've told, I literally have told people I'm like, I trust me, I ask the bitch, okay? They're on the East Coast. Okay. I was waiting for you to come here so that you could film with me.

I'm so honored. Also, I need to front low my compliments to you because I'm finally on the fucking mic. Oh. That's all right. That's okay. Um, anyway, I've been following you, like, ever since, like, I saw your first video.

Like, I feel like with a lot of people, I'm like, if I see her again on the, on the for you page, I'll follow. I feel that. I was like, no, there's something about this bitch. I have to follow her. And let me say that, like, following you and like just watching you and, like, like seeing your success, like, inspires me so much to just keep going. And, like, whenever I'm, like, down on myself because, like, if I'm being honest,

like, I'm, like, social media on, like, my psyche and stuff is pretty hard. But, like, when I watch you, I'm like, shoot. Fork. God darn it. I feel like, I feel like I'm able to, like, go to war. You know what I mean? Like, you make me feel so, like, strong in myself. And.

Oh, I'm glad. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm just happy you have your platform and I'm happy to be here. You're going to make me cry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't cry. Because me first. Other than that, I mean, I just feel like whenever I, like, have this moment, like, with people, like, I've been following for a long time and I'm, like, meeting you and, like, talking to you. It's just, like, so surreal. It feels like I'm, like, I'm, like, doing something good.

You are. You are. You are. You're so impactful. I remember one of the first videos. I ever saw about you was you talking about being an RA in college. And I was like, this bitch is funny. And I stand a funny bitch. Let me tell you. And that's why I immediately was drawn to you. And I think that you also, you're also very, aside from like being obviously incredibly funny, you're also very vulnerable and very honest. And I think that's a great thing. I think that's something that is lacking a lot of times when it comes to being a creator because it's so easy to, want to like front load only positive things and only positive messaging like even now you're saying like

it can be really hard being on social media which is true and I've talked about that with other creators too like whether it was here just privately that um teffy she described it one time as like it's like a one-way mirror yeah so like you can't see out but everybody can see in that's exactly what it feels like yeah when you're a public person the thing that like pisses me off the most is like people feel so entitled to their opinions on you. And that's the shit that I'm like, yeah, like, watching your shit, I'm like, you're allowed to, one, defend yourself

and the people who, like, who are, like, represented by you. Yeah. And I'm just like, yeah, like, I can't, I'm going to be vulnerable, sure. Just because I know that there's people out there who probably want to see, like, a queer black person out there, like doing what they do.

And I'm just going to keep going because, like, I have the people, I have the support system. I have the mutuals to back me up for that. Yeah. And I think, and it's, I think it's the most intense, of validation too that you do have your platform because it is absolutely validating that you have a space here you deserve to take up space here and I think too I think too I've told people this because sometimes people will ask like I'm sure you get this question too like how do I become

a content creator like how do I get started and I always say like the first thing I always say is like be absolutely certain this is what you want to do because it's not for everyone I can promise you that it's a lot harder um on you mentally than I think people anticipate. Oh. It's bad. It can be really bad. I started therapy recently. And I feel like... Congratulations. Thank you. It's a wonderful thing.

Thank you. American health care. We stand therapy here. I feel like half of my session each time is just talking about like self image and like how to remove people's perceptions of me. Yeah. On a large scale. Like a macro scale. Especially now. Yeah. Especially with the amount of eyes that are on you. I think it's so funny too because this morning when I was getting glammed. I was talking to my hair makeup artist and we were talking about like plastic surgery and he had asked me like would you ever want to get anything done? And I was like, I don't think so. But that doesn't mean that I've never thought about it because when you're in this

job, you're forced to look at yourself all the time. And not just look at yourself but have millions of strangers looking at you too. Sometimes, okay, people always ask me why I like film my videos the way I do. If you guys don't know, I film it like with like a back camera like and the light, right? Yeah. Like it's facing me like the back of my phone. is facing me. Yeah. And it's just easier. Oh, it's easier.

You know what's funny? I feel the opposite. Okay. I feel like I need to see myself. Watch myself. So you don't have the jump scare piece. Because I feel like if I'm going from the back, I'm like, who is that? Right.

You know what I mean? Like when I have to mirror like things sometimes for deal, for brand deals, I'm always like, who is that bitch? But sometimes I'm, I'll like, if I'm like on my front camera and it's, this like, like, sometimes it doesn't look like me. You look too good. I'm like, I just know that. That's how I feel that.

I just know this is not the version. I think I need the ignorance. That's why I'm like, I need to blind faith that I look like that. I need to know, I need to think to myself. That's what I actually. I need to be free of myself. Yeah. You know what?

Yeah. You have your process. I have mine. You know what I mean? Like that's my creative process. This is my camera? Your hos need to stop talking about me. I don't know how much longer I could take it.

Okay. When we were talking about plastic surgery, though, I was telling him, like sometimes I I do think like, oh, maybe I would get this done, right, if I had like the opportunity. And then I think to myself, I have to remind myself constantly that the only reason I'm saying that is because I'm looking at myself and I'm being mean to myself and I'm being hypercritical of me. And then I think also to when I want to change like facial features, for example, if there was something I wanted to change about my face, I always think to myself that that's like

something that is very someone of me. My features, because I'm someone person, are very pollin. So if I change my face to fit like a Eurocentric beauty standard, I'm no longer going to look. Yeah, exactly. I'm like leaning into a beauty standard that doesn't even include me, right, in the first place. So then I tell myself that over and over and over again. And I remind myself that there are other people in this world that look like me and want to see themselves in media. Yeah.

So if I change my face, then I'm like changing something that they feel like they might have to change too. It's just like, how many times can I get to that psychotic break where I'm talking to myself? And I'm like, you know what, hell, you're doing something really. Yeah. Keep going, oh, keep going. It gets hard. It gets so hard. And I was, me and my friends were talking about this the other day.

It was like, we're literally built different. Like, we're not supposed to be, we're not supposed to fit Eurocentric beauty. Because I, my ancestors, we're not from Europe. Same. Same. I can probably see that much. Same, babe. Yeah.

It's just like, I'm not, I'm just like, I have to keep shedding that, like, idea. Same. I was, my, I did a makeup look, this last makeup look, and I was just like, oh, this is what I'm wrestling with. And it's like, I keep changing myself or like clowning myself to like try to be something to be ogled at. Try to be something that's like. It's almost like getting in front of it. Yeah. Like I keep trying to like lose like shed, like.

I keep saying shed, lose. But that's what I'm trying to say like. Cover. Yeah. Like almost like. Almost like take Anna Naya. Yeah. doll them up.

Yeah. And slap them on the ass and say, go present yourself to these people who honestly have no right to criticize you. Yeah, what you look like. Yeah. And I've said this many times, but beauty is subjective. So what's beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to the next. So I always like. And the people watching Instagram reels will let you know that.

They don't like your makeup. They will say some shit. Yeah, literally. Y'all hosts need a job. I have countless, countless men telling me all the time. I can imagine. The amount of times, that's so sick. That's why someone was like, I don't get why it doesn't bother you.

I'm like, because they're ugly. Like, that's why it doesn't bother me. I think this is why I love you the most. And I think this is why you're so, you're funny in the way that, like, you're just saying facts that happened to be so funny in this situation. Like, this man is five, six. He should be worried about the first shelf of a cupboard. You know. Trying to know, get upy.

Roller coasters. Barely. That's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying. I mean, like, about a lot of other things. You have bigger problems. That's why I made a video recently where someone had left a comment on my video and said, like, I've never seen an attractive Drew supporter or something like that.

And then all I did was I screenshot everything because I'm a Virgo. So I literally just was staring at the camera and I was showing what they wrote and then what they looked like, right? What they wrote and then what they look like. And then I did that over and over and over again. And then I wrote for the one million time, no, this doesn't hurt my feelings. This does not hurt my feelings, bitch. Right.

No. Yeah. I told this one guy, I literally was like, you want to mirror, right? And he said, yeah, I look at myself every day. I said, good, that's good. That's good that you know what you look like. I must be really tough on him. Self-awareness is key.

You know what I mean? It's important to be a contributing member to society. You got to know what you look like. You got to know your place in this world. You know what I mean? And yours. Not that important. No, and yours is down there were Pennywise is.

Go and get back to work, Ben. No, you didn't. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I always think that. I'm always like, because you're ugly. Like, you're going to call me a fat ugly bitch. Oh, I love that about you.

Twin. You know what I mean? Like, twin him. Oh, I love that about you. I love that about you so much. Because I find you gorgeous. I think you're so gorgeous. I wonder why you think that.

Because it's true, Ben. And so that's why I think that because not only physically, but internally as well. Yeah. So that's why I always, I tell people when they're like, ah, you make fun of like short dudes, blah, blah, because you brought up height. And I'm like, you can be short and not be terrible. You got to pick one or the other. I'm pretty sure it's in the Ten Commandments. Jesus was like, you can be short, but you can't be awful.

Those are the rules. Yeah, Moses came right down to the top of the lot. He part of the season and said, listen. Hey, you can be as shitty as you want, five, ten up. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. There's a height requirement for being terrible in my book. And also that goes the same thing with hair.

Same thing. You can't be balding. You can't be balding and awful. Like, are you out of your mind? You should reprioritize what's important in your life. You're fighting with me and you're losing a fight with your own genetics. You're going to take that up with me? You don't know what I mean?

Like, you're going to take that out on me? Take it up with God, babe. I didn't do that to you. Ammo, you're getting mad at me. Get mad at your ancestors. Right. You just keep punching up. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, you're fighting the wrong person. Oh, sweetie. Yeah. Your target, you're set on the wrong target. God, I love that about you. I feel like so many times, oh, this is, I have to get on my fucking high horse. Oh, please do. I hate the notion and the, like, the narrative that we have to be so regal when it comes to, like, people, like, coming at us. Yeah, yeah.

I hate that notion that we have to be the bigger person, the bigger person in this situation because, why are we excusing the behavior that incited this incident? You know what I mean? Why are we letting these people feel as though they can even speak such negative talk to whoever or someone who's trying to make a name for themselves? Yeah, absolutely. I just hate, I just hate, hate, hate, feeling like, oh, this person said I look like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with buffed teeth.

Like, no, I'm going to say something equally as mean. Yeah, if not meaner. I hope. Oh, girl, I told someone he looked like he looked like he worked at the Edwards cinema and they called me the meanest person alive. I was like you look like you gave me my goobers when I went and saw nope the other day. That's what you look like to me. You want to talk about what you look like? That's why I was like, I don't need to make funny your looks to hurt your feelings, but I will.

Oh, honey. But that's why I think social media has emboldened people like that. Oh, yeah. And then another excuse that sometimes people. make, like, when they're, like, apologists for these kinds of, like, cyber bullies is that, like, you have the platform. So, like, that's on you. Like, like, we didn't ask for the platform.

I didn't beg people to give me a platform. That's just what happened. One of my biggest pet peeves, actually. Yeah. So that means, oh, you have a big platform. You shouldn't be doing this because you're just going to, you're going to incite so much violence to this person. Yeah, yeah.

Can we? And that's all of a sudden, that's my problem? Well, all of a sudden, that's on me. Like. Can we see why we got here? Hold on now. No, slow you roll. Yeah.

Because why are we acting like I, like I, I can't be morally, okay, so here's what's not going to happen. I can't be morally sound, hot, sexy, talented, funny, baddest bitch on the earth. And cater to your whims. Bitch, that's a tall order. I'm tired. Am I not doing enough? Am I not contributing enough to this world? Well, I think, I always think, too, like, that remorse you feel afterwards, that's not my responsibility.

Yeah. It's not, that's why sometimes people have asked me, why don't you blur names? I said, why would I do that? When you're acting so bold in my comments or in my DMs, you think I'm not going to show people what you said? Why is that? I had a dude literally message me once and say, like, I work out of school. Can you please take this down because I could jeopardize my job. I could tell you too much on my nutsack.

How about that? What school? Yeah. I'll send it to them. I'll forward it there. What's cool? Yeah. Just curious.

And he didn't even DM it to me directly. He deemed it to my boyfriend. And he wrote the most vile message about me and him. And it was racist. And then he sent it to him. And then he wants me to worry about job security. Uh-uh. It fits up to me.

If I find out, I'm going to make sure you lose it. We write at dawn. How about that? We write at dawn. No, no, no, no, no, no. Well, that's why even then, like, even if I just put your name up there because you sent something terrible to me, it's on me to help you afterwards. You're going to ask me.

for a favor? Is it crack? You know what I mean? Like, you're going to ask me to do you a solid after you abused me verbally? Absolutely not. No, babe. Especially if it's someone I've never even saying. Like, I wasn't even talking to you about you at all.

And sometimes, I don't know, I mean, this might be exclusive to me, but sometimes I'll get comments where they're like, I used to be a fan. No, you weren't. because then it's followed up by nothing but like vitriol. Like they call me like a fat bitch monkey. The butt is I'm just like, yeah. Literally shut up.

And then I go on their profile and I'll find a picture of what you look like and then I'll post it somewhere and I'll be like this is this is like what I think. Like I literally, I had a dude. I made fun of what a dude looked like because he said a bunch of mean shit about me. And then I literally wrote, your chest is so concave if I knock. on it like a front door, your heart would shoot out to your back, you bird-chested ass, bitch.

That's what I wrote. Hold on. One second. And his cities, his were so, like, his, like, his nipples were so, like, elongated. I don't know if it was just cold in the room when he took the pick. But then I said it looked like he just bore a fresh litter. Like protruding. Yeah, like they were hard, like,

out of tension. Wow. Nipples hard, you know what I mean? I'm sorry, can we just go back to the alliteration? You said, what is, Backed, bone, what did you call him? A bird chested ass bitch. Bird chested ass bitch.

That's poetry. Slam poetry. That is slam, birdie. And then I like snaps. I literally wrote that just like within like seconds. And then, oh, I never. Huh? That was on your heart?

Yeah. You're the realest bitch I know. You're the realest bitch I know. It was in the barrel. I think I said that about you. I think someone was like, I love Drew. And I was like, you know what? That's the realest bitch I know.

Oh, yeah, it was Alia. You are the realest bitch I know. I can't believe you. Alia's reading about me. And she said, she's like, Drew off while it was a real ass bitch, for real. Oh, for a leo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes, I think, too, like, they're like, that was so, that was too far. Was it? I can go by that. Yeah, I was like, that's me fighting with one hand time behind my back. You know, on Twitter, people will, like, go to your bio. And if you have anyone, like, RIP grandma. That's terrible.

Yeah. I'm like you. Well then I think like don't throw stones from a glass house is what I always think like you post. You literally post like I had a dude once tried to get me like with a what do you call it? It's like one of those, uh, is this you? But it's like it's supposed to be like a picture that doesn't look like you kind of thing. Oh I know what you mean. Yeah.

So I posted. Here's the thing about that. If I post the picture, you're not getting me. Right. Do you know what I'm saying? Like if I post a picture of myself and I look ugly because I find it funny. and then you're like, this you? Yeah, bitch.

Yeah. Yes. I'm glad you have. You screenshoted it from Drew Avalo. Yeah, that's me. Yeah, that's me. Like, I know what I look like. I get that all the time.

People will be like, is this you? And it's Russell Westbrook, the basketball player or something? I'm like, can I be honest with you? I have no clue who this. Oh, Lord. Who this person is. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, it's one of those where you're like, one time I told someone he made a joke and I didn't get it. Like it was like calling me something, referencing me to something ugly. But then I, because I just used context clues. But then I wrote, I bet this joke would hit if I knew what you were talking about. And then he got mad at me. I'm like, you got to read the room. You know what I'm saying?

I talk about one time this dude was like, you look like this person from Clash of Clans. And then I go, you play Clash of Clans. That's all I wrote. And then he goes, is there something wrong with playing a video game? I go, no, I just think that's lame as shit, bro. I think you're a loser. Okay, not too much on Clash the Klanz, though. Hold on.

I like it. Listen, my grandpa plays that game. I liked passance. It was okay. He plays it enough to know the nuances of every single character in the sense that you can like pinpoint. You know what I'm saying? Enough.

Come on. Get a job. It's a mobile phone. Or some bitches. I don't know. Get some pussy, dog. And abundance. Abundance.

exonitiously do it quickly it's also i okay i i okay so when people like make fun of me and like my beauty and like yeah my attractiveness and stuff like that yeah i always feel bad going back to them but then there's just there's that voice inside of me that's like you know how light them up and it's me and it's me light them up i'm i'm i'm the way i'm literally like almost so many like remember that um trend that was going on on ticac where it was like um um um it was like a slow-mo thing and someone was behind them whispering something evil to them to say. And it's true. It was always me.

It was always me. I saw thousands of videos where people were, it was literally me, telling them, tell him he's bald. I think I got one of those and it was all like, sucky his dick. I'm like, oh, my God. You're okay. Well, you know. My digital images, getting a little warped. I taught, like, Dylan, too, when she was here.

Oh, I love that episode. Yeah, I was telling her about, like, some, teaching her some insults. whatever. And we talked about calling men balding. And I told her, uh, this is also another thing, too. This is too nuanced for like the Neanderthals who hate me. But like when you make fun of hairlines, like that's a patriarchal beauty standard. Oh yeah. You impose that on you. Take it up with your peers, babe, is what I always say. That double standard that men just place on themselves. That's why. That's literally self-inflicted. So that's why if I make fun of a conventionally attractive beauty standard, that's not you being oppressed. Uh, but I was telling her when you say

balding, even if they're not, they're always going to think about it. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're going to stare at... They're going to brush it up. Like some, they always try to make fun of my eyes. Like, say I'm like, lazy eye or whatever.

And so they'll write like, what are you looking at? And I, one of my recent videos I wrote, I'm looking at that soon-to-be-gone hairline, brother. I said, pour one now. She's going to be gone in a couple years. Because it was right as teetering. You know what I mean? Follicles.

Sparse. Forest thinning. You know what I mean? And you think I can't tell? You think I can't tell? I said just because you brush it up doesn't mean I can't see it. Oh, that's so sad for him. Mm-hmm.

I know. Take it up with your mom because that's actually maternal. Is it? Oh, I didn't know that. It's a lot of times. You learn so much on the comment section. Okay, we're going to get into our topic now. Oh, my God.

So far off. Okay. Okay. Love. That's a great thing, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, love. Okay, so with Anna and I today, we're going to be talking.

basically about dating the woes the trials and tribulations right i have i have some credentials the terrors of dating yeah yeah i've been on the bench for a while i've been i've been out the game yeah but i was i was dating once upon a time i did have a ho face as we all should good for you good for you so i had it early though okay got it out the way yeah well you're you're younger than me an anna is only 22 so so when i was 22 yeah i was home 22 without a book That's a fucking bar. You're welcome. TM.

T.M. T.M. Not too much before Nikki Minaj gets on my ass. So what was your viewpoint on dating now? Has it changed? Has it evolved? Yeah.

Thank you to my therapist. If you see this, don't see this. I was talking to my therapist about this. And she was like, I think you need to consider, like, you're not the same person as, you know, who you were when you feel. first came out and stuff. Yeah. And like, yeah, like right now I'm like, I'm in a position, um, where I don't want to settle, like, at all. And I was going through a really bad phase

where it's like I'm almost desperate for like romance and that kind of stuff because that's just who I am. Like it's just connection. Like, like, yeah. Like I'm a, you got a lot of love to give. Yes. Yeah. That's exactly what it was. Like I'm just like yearning for that kind of, um, connection with people. Yeah. But then I realized like, I don't need to like sell myself out just to like to satisfy this like itch that I have. Yeah. That makes sense. Absolutely.

Itch has the connotation that it's like, no, yeah. No, it is. It is almost addictive. Like these games of like tender and grinder and hinge and bumble and like all this like stuff that's like evolving to be like what the dating scene is now is like terrible. Personally on my psyche. It might work for other people. No, I've heard that actually a lot from. a lot of my single friends.

Yeah, it's just like at this point, it's taxing. It's taxing. It's almost, it's almost like a part-time job. It's like, oh, oh shit,

you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm also probably in this era because my, I was working with Tinder not too long ago. Me too. They gave me Tender gold for free.

Oh, no. And it ran out. So, you know, maybe I was forced into a new era. And you know what? Thank you, Tender.

You know, that's a good thing. That's a good thing. I needed that push to be like, okay, wait, I don't like what I'm doing. Yeah. I don't like going through my profile and be like,

is this picture reading well? Like, is this the intention that I want? Yeah. I don't like it anymore. So I'm like in this, again, I'm in this era where it's like,

oh, I need to value myself a lot higher than when I think. Because I, when I think about it, like I'm pretty cool. You are. I'm funny. I'm smart.

I'm making money. And you're beautiful. And I'm beautiful. Hey, period. And you're tall. And Anaya is so tall. That is not a joke.

Anna is really tall. I'm like 6'5 with these other. No, like actually though, I was shocked. Me and Anna and I were looking at everyone's scalps when we first met. Like the two of us.

We literally looked like like brown giants just like walking around. Literally. Can I say brown giant? Yeah. I'm not green giant, but I was like, how do I make this funny?

We're easily the tallest. We'll edit that in post. We'll edit that in post. Easily the tallest people there. Oh, easily. You, me and my boyfriend. Oh, I was like. So I see Drew, I see her boyfriend, and there's me.

Yeah, we just are looking up, like, everyone's heads are right here and we're all up here. Yeah. Love that. See, so you have it all, you got it all going on, babe. I hope so. Yeah, you absolutely do. And one of the things that I, like, try to do on Ananiya Zero-zero, mm-hmm, everywhere. And follow me.

The one thing I try to do is, like, be as honest as possible with myself, and it's just like, you know, this doesn't always go well. Yeah. You know, like, one time, oh. let me hear it I want to hear it is this a dating horror story I'm on the edge of my seat babe

I was looking up with this guy and he looks at like my sides and stuff and like my armpits is that self harm marks honey these are stretch marks the way he was trying to have like a fault in our stars moment with you like stop for me

you said okay John Green. I said, oh, oh, bitch. Oh, bitch, you just made the situation worse. You said, relax Ruby Car. I said, milk and honey head out. Oh, yeah. No.

You would not treat me like this. Get the hell out. Get out. The way they. He was trying to, he was trying to have like a moment with you and you're like. Because then you're like, is this real? Is this really where I'm at right now? And you're like, and you're like.

You're sitting on your full bed In your overpriced apartment And you're like A full? Not even a queen Honey, what the fuck? I had two square feet to my name I'm like I don't know if this is something I can sustain

I think I might have to castrate myself There has to be some way to neuter myself So I don't want to get into the situation again What did you say after? What do you say? Were you just like? What do you say? No.

You just have to say no And get the fuck out. What do you say? do you say? Like, you can't defend yourself. Yeah. That's like calling someone weird. Like, you're weird. What do you say back? Okay. Weirdo. That's like, weirdo.

It's like shit. My f***, man. My God. No, it's a, it's a war zone out there. It's terrible. It's literally terrible. It's pretty rotten. I think a lot of people, well, see, that's the thing with me, too, like, because I've been with my boyfriend now for five years. Oh. We've celebrated five years. So, thank you.

She still hasn't married you, though, yet. That's what men always like. to say to me, but I'm always like, it's not the 1950s, bitch. Yeah. I don't need him to buy a car. We're going to get ready. We're going to get married when we're ready. Right. And you're still going to be alone, so worry about that.

But I always, like, get questions about, like, especially since I'm dating a cis man. They're like, how did you find one that wasn't rotten? You know what I mean? So I was like, I don't know. I think that it's like you said where it, you. you don't feel like you have to settle. Yeah. So you should just always hold your standards high.

Always. Yeah. It's going to take a minute. But by the time, like, once you find it, it's going to be worth the way. Oh, yeah. So, like, I, when I was in my prime ho phase, I genuinely, I would talk to boys or men or whatever, and I'd be like, they'd do one thing. And I'd be like, you got to wrap it up.

That's the thing. The ick. The ick would course through my veins. I'd be like, oh, get out. Yeah. Oh, you will never see me again. No, that's the hardest thing that I was, like, struggling with. It was like three strikes around.

I'm like, girl, come on. Value yourself. Come on now, howe. Work it up. Work it up. And that's, you know what? That's part of the learning process. The self-love process.

Because I always say, too, like, sometimes I'll talk to my single friends and, like, some of my friends who are single and they'll tell me like, oh, like, I just, like, feel like, you know, I'm really, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I want to meet someone, blah, blah, blah. But I always say, like, if you're ready, right now. now it will happen when it's supposed to happen. I truly believe that. That's true. If it's not happening yet, you're not there yet. Like, yeah. When in your self-love journey, because no one's ever going to love you more than you love yourself. So you have to love yourself unconditionally.

And then when you meet the right person, you're not going to seek them out for that kind of love because you're going to already have it. So they'll just amplify it, right? They'll make you feel love in a much different way than how you make yourself feel when you live yourself. So it's like, it's one of those things that you just got to be patient. And that's different from like that notion that like, oh, I have to be perfect. Exactly. I have to love myself so much so where nothing can phase me. That's different than like, oh, like I need to be, I need to love myself to receive love.

Yeah. I just want that difference to be set out loud. Yeah, absolutely. Because it's like I had someone asked me a question recently. They're like, how do I move on from someone that I was like dating? I don't know if it was like a situation ship or if it was like. like an actual relationship. They're like, how do I move on?

And then, because it had been like two, three years. And I said, like, well, what you do is you remind yourself, it's easier said than done, but you remind yourself that you were a whole person before that person came into your life with thoughts and dreams and hopes, ambition. Like you had all of these things before that person and you'll have all of them after. Sometimes they're not there forever and that's their loss, not yours. My aunties would have said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Which, if that works for you.

you? I would probably take your advice. Yeah, maybe we should. Porcena los dos is what I say. You could, two things can be true at once, right? Sometimes that helps people heal too. Whatever works for you. As long as you, just know it's not linear. Hilling is not linear.

It's not overnight. But I do think that the dating horror stories, we all share a common thread in that. Yep. What's the thread? Is it men? Turns out they're the root of all evil, huh? Okay, so we're going to get into these videos.

videos now. So what we do here in the comment section is we bring videos that I was tagged in that are applicable to our topic and we bring him here, share the giggles, all that good stuff. So I'm just going to give you a summary of this first one. So this first one is a guy who's, he's made a lot of videos giving his own dating advice bad start. In this video, he says that women will always try to hook up with someone hotter than them and men will hook up with any woman as long as they can get it in. Those are his words. so not mine. He says it's hard for guys to date online because women have an expectation of hooking up with someone as attractive or more attractive than them. Okay. Huh? Okay. He says it's hard for guys to date online because women have an expectation. So you think you're ugly?

I'm so. I just want to get to the conflict. Okay. So he says women will always try to hook up with someone hotter than them. Okay. And men will hook up with anyone. Oh, okay. And he's saying that women won't hook up with ugly men.

Essentially, so I'm like, he's saying it's harder for guys to date online because women have an expectation of hooking up with someone hotter than them. Did you guys know women have standards? That's crazy. I just found that out. What a bum. Wow. When you find out that dating is per the person. Wow.

When you discover that not everyone's a track. Such a crazy idea to think about right now that women have the choice to choose. And you're also openly admitting that you're ugly. Like you're saying like they don't pick me because I'm ugly. I feel like you need to be donned ugly. You shouldn't be like, I am ugly. This is not SpongeBob.

Okay. That's a little terrible. That's... I wish him all the best. I hope he shuts the... I hope he shuts the fork up. No, truly. I wish you the worst, honestly.

The opposite of Anna. I wish you nothing but unhappiness. I can get on that train, yeah. I find... Okay, so my thing with, like, standards or like, whatever your preferences are, I've kind of... A preference.

talk of, don't even get me started on a prep for ads. But I always, I think to myself too, if you, especially now in this like modern age, and you know very well, I'm sure too,

because you have been online dating as well. But when it comes to that kind of culture that exists now, when you ask like any sort of, any person that's not an aggressively straight cis man, anyone else who's dating online, if you ask them, what are you looking for?

Right. Like what are you looking for in a partner? they'll say things like someone who's respectful funny funny like yeah it gets along with my family it's like things that are internal isn't broke yeah it's like things that you have control over yeah when you ask an aggressively cis heterone man they're like only talking about looks and it's all Eurocentric beauty standards

there's nothing internal whatsoever that's absolutely terrible and it's so sad to watch because it's like you really don't care. At all. And then they'll be the first person to be like, oh, women don't care about my feelings. They don't want me to, they don't want me to express how I'm feeling. You were looking for someone with literal pebbles for brains. Yeah, literal. You were just looking for something on the outside.

Yeah, like an aesthetic. Right. Rather than a person. That's literally what it is. People look for like this kind of like thing where they think that they would look best with. They're trying to make this like equation. Yeah. Work to equal something.

And that's literally, it's literally redundant for you to keep doing this. Men are just imploding on themselves. I feel like it's like almost, what do you call? It's like it's delusion, obviously. But I think too it's over complication. Like the reality is like if you are not a terrible person, you'll find someone eventually. It almost feels like men are like trying to do like a book report and they haven't read the book. And they keep going in circles about like, you know, like this person does this.

And then they don't do that. I've never dated women, but like, I've seen one. I've seen a few. So I feel like I get it. I've seen a few. I watch a movie with one in it. I love Kiera Knightley. Yeah. I've seen a few.

The illusion, I feel like, well, then I think a preference, like, when you comes to a preference, I've said this in a video before, but like prefer in silence. Like if you, if you are like, I don't like fat women, that's my preference. Keep it in here, bitch. Shut the fuck up. Which, just like, and out of curiosity, what fat person is, is pursuing you so aggressively that you feel like, thank you. Listen, okay, I just don't like.

That's my biggest thing. You're making shit up. That's my biggest thing. And I, shoot. I'm so sorry. My biggest thing is like, why do you think that you are so special that people are throwing themselves at you? That's what I'm saying. People may approach you.

I'm not doubting that. Yeah. You might be approach all the time. Yeah. But the, the attitude of like, oh, like, so many people want me and I, and I have to turn them down all the time. Like, oh, you are not that. You are a seven and a half.

It's like me when I lie. On a good day. Right. Me when I just be lying. Oh, you are not. If I make things up too, I could do that also. Right. It's like, come on.

Like, be for real. Be for real. I think, I think, like, that's why sometimes they'll bring up fat women or fat people in general for no reason. And I said if you, there's the line between love and hay is razor thin, but if you keep talking about them, chances are.

Whenever I talk to women, I never have to deal with like, I never have to deal with like the notion that like I have to explain myself. Like I have to explain where my body's at. I have to explain like what position I like during sex and stuff. But whenever I talk to like men who are like looking for people with penises, it's like

oh my God, this is the most frustrating experience in my life. Especially with gay men, it's like, are you top or are you a bottom? Yeah. I don't like diverse people. Yeah. What's your BMI? Like something like, something like, yeah.

Like what do you weigh? What's your muscle relation to like, like fat percentage? Yeah, it's like, because you know how like dad bods are like in right now? Yeah. It's like you might like someone who's like a little thicker like a dad boddot, but they also, gay men are like, oh, they also have to have huge pecks. They have to have huge biceps. there's still like standards in it.

Right. Even if it's like all, it's like not rock hard abs, but there's still stipulations. That's what I'm saying. It's like people want an athletic aesthetic aesthetic rather than an athletic lifestyle from their partner. I see what you're saying. It's like you might want someone who works out just as much as you. That might be your love language going to the gym together. Yeah.

But to force your partner to look like something so you feel better about yourself. Or so you're attracted to them? Babe, you have a problem. It's terrible. It's such a terrible notion. I think, too, like, and this I can say with the utmost confidence because I'm with someone who works in the fitness industry, right? If that is the only thing you have going for you. Oh, my God.

Babe, you're going to die alone as you should. Because, like, you make your entire personality around, like, macros. Like, you have a problem, bitch. You do. It's literally terrible. Well, it's also low-key in illness. Like, you need to go to therapy. It is.

It is. And I'm getting to a point where it's like a red flag is like, I like going to the gym. I'm like, oh. I'm looking for someone, a healthy, someone who's into a healthy lifestyle. That's how I was like, that means no fat people. Yeah. Just write that. Like the lies.

But that's the shit that pisses me off. Yeah. You can be fat and be healthy at the same time. And that's what I'm saying. Abundance. And. Yeah, everyone, everyone's literally a doctor. Like, immediately.

Yeah, they have access to Google and all of a sudden they did John Hopkins. I know that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Immediately they have an MD because they know what fat people look like. That's how I always say you diagnosing people with no prior knowledge of their medical history. Also when people bring up BMI, I'm always like, look up the history of BMI. Please. Because it's racist.

And a lot of you'd be surprised how many people don't know that. Oh, yeah. Why do you think it doesn't mean anything? Thank you. Because it doesn't factor in people of color or black people, literally at all. Yeah. Or big bone. people. Black, black femme people.

Like, they have, we have to deal with so much bullshit. Like, from racism. Lord forbid, they're also fat. Like, all these different things that we just have to deal, like. It's coming from all angles. Every single angle. And I'm like, just because I'm a bigger person, I'm black,

I'm feminine, I'm like, feminine and all that kind of stuff. Like, I shouldn't have to, I literally should not have to deal with your, like, it's not rejection that I'm saying. It's like imposed rejection. I never, I never, I never was going to pursue you. I never like you are in.

You're safe. Right. Like you're good. Like you're safe. I don't know. But I never entered it. You're safe. I think the same thing about men who talk about like women who are like they're like all women do is date for money.

I think the same thing. I'm always like you make 30K year. You're safe. I promise you're good. You're, babe. You're out. hourly. It's okay. Relax. You're good. 11.15 an hour?

You're good, babe. No 401k, no health care. You're fine. I hate that when white men are like, oh, why is everyone against us? Oh, if you don't open a book. If you don't open a fucking history. I mean, I don't know. Ask your peers. You don't know what I'm saying? Take it up within the house. You don't have eyes. You don't like me. Or a brain. A functioning brain. That's why when time I stitched a dude or he's like, what if women are men treated women the same way women treated men. And then I go... You do. Yeah, I literally was like, were you born an hour ago? Like, is this your first day

on planet Earth? Like, I'm assuming you mean like, shit, right? They've been doing that. Babe, they clocked in a long time ago. You guys are doing great. Yeah, so you know what? No days off. You want to talk about no days off, babe? They are never resting. Yeah. They are relentless. So when you talk about like the, whether it's like money or aesthetic

whatever when it comes to dating it dating shouldn't feel like you're doing a resume call you know what I mean it shouldn't feel like that it shouldn't feel like you're applying for a job yeah because it's taxing applying for a job you know applying for a job is exhausting dating shouldn't feel like that yeah it should and I that's why I think um before I started dating my boyfriend um I did I had a Tinder once but I was doing it for like a social experiment for one of my friends so she was doing a project to and she asked me if I'd ever had it and I said no so I downloaded it to be one of her experimental people bitch I had that thing for like two months and I was like I can't do this like this is exhausting terrible it's horrible it's awful awful absolutely terrible and I feel like it's I don't know it's

there are some stories that work out congrats I think that's great but there are many that don't so like just let it happen naturally wherever it happens it could be someone you like least expect That's what happened with me. Like my boyfriend and I went to high school together, but we're not high school sweethearts. Enemy's to lovers. Just kidding. We were enemies. Work.

We were not enemies, but still. So let's read some of the comments on this video. So women get ran through by guys out of their league and then think they're in that league. The verbiage. Can you read it one more time? Women get ran through by guys out of their league and then they think they think they're in. They're in that league. Then they realized they forgot to get off the carousel at age 35.

How many characters is this? Yeah, lots of, there's lots of metaphors in there, babe. And then the creator said, and wonder where all the good guys are and why they don't want them. I hate. I hate that good guy shit. Oh, no.

I hate that shit. When they say good guys finish last, women don't like nice guys, blah, blah, blah. Who's ever said that? I'm trying to Who are you talking to? Are you talking to me? Who are you getting this information from?

I always think like do you even need me for this conversation? I feel like you're good. What are you talking about? Who said that? And you know what? I saw someone once talk about it in a very simple way and it kind of clicked for me. I forget who it was. If I remember, I'll reference it.

But they basically were saying like when they say nice guys finished last, a lot of times they're talking about a woman that's like so far out of their league. Oh, yeah. In the sense that she is in a. different stage of life. Like she doesn't want a scrub, basically. So, like, he's like, well, women just don't want nice people. What if you're not even that nice?

Have you thought about that? Maybe, maybe you're not that nice. Have you ever thought about it? Who have you been? You nice. You're a nice guy, but you say things like this on the internet? Are you sure? Bring out Judge Joe Mathis and Judge McCaffin.

That's why I'm like, are you sure? Can someone get eyes on him? Because I don't think he's doing well enough to, to, enough to be like, oh, you know, I'm the shit and women should be, like, falling out to their knees for me? At what point do you go, maybe it's me? You know what I'm saying? Like, at what point are you like, why does everybody find me insufferable? Wait.

Wait a second. Yeah, you think like all the women in the world and you're like, not one of them wants to be with me. I wonder why that is. Is it the women? What's just statistically, what are the odds? No, yeah. Like, what are the odds? They're all wrong.

Sometimes you just got to get like that cold and analytic about it. like how are you think about it the soul nice guy like you're the only one like a morsel of critical thinking I beg you know what I mean like I fear you haven't self-reflected enough

that's like what are the odds all the women in the world are wrong but like Gigi Hadid isn't you know what I'm saying because they always are like oh I want a baddie like Bella Hadid and I'm like your high school English teacher didn't even like you what the what you mean Bella Hadid

You know what I'm saying? Like, listen, like, be for real. Like, be honest with yourself, then. That's like, I just think be honest with yourself. Yeah. Do you really think all of these bitches are wrong, but Kylie Jenner won't be? She's going to see me for who I really am. Go ahead, ho.

Sometimes I wish. Sometimes I wish. Have I ever? Honestly, sometimes I wish. I really do. I wish they would meet you in person and be like, you disgust me. And then I think, I feel like the world would. You know what I mean?

Implode? Like their whole psyche would break down probably instantly. All right. Let's move on to this next video. So this is another, ooh, another guy giving dating advice for other men. Oh, he's gay? Or for men going to. No, I think it's to date women, I would assume.

But let's see. He says the harsh truth, harsh truth of online dating is the hottest guy always wins. They don't care about your personality. They don't care what you have going on in your life. He says, guys need to take professional people. pictures to get noticed on the apps. By the apps, do you mean Tinder or do you mean LinkedIn? Like, what are you talking about?

You might need a headshot or two. Might, you know, to get through the door. What are you talking about? I feel like this is another one of those things where men need to look into the mirror. Yeah. Why are you taking pictures? Oh, my God. The way they can't take a picture to save their life.

Holding a fish. Wow. Or it's like, if it's like a, it's supposed to be a sexy picture. or like it's like it looks like the last picture taken of them alive you know what I mean like are post laxed you know like you know like the like what is it the the the last 48 or the final 48 have you ever seen that show where it's like if someone gets kidnapped and they're gone for more than 48 hours most likely it'll be gone forever oh my god so the last picture you have of them is like literally the last one alive like security cam footage outside the gas station you know what I mean

they're like this is the last time she was spotted in public girl like the way they can't take a picture to save their life oh my god or they'll have pictures from 10 years ago like when like a football picture with like a helmet right well it's a matter it's a matter of reciprocation too like these women are putting beautiful pictures of themselves out there and they require and demand the same from you yeah totally fair like it doesn't I mean you need to get a professional headshot that that first of all why is that your fucking complaint really you know what they really don't care about the inside whatsoever. They only care about what you look like. So, yeah, make sure you put on your Sunday best and go shoot, you know what I mean, in front of the local high school. Right. Like, you know, those ones where they're like up against a brick wall and they're like,

oh my God, they're like. Yeah, or they're like on their knees, you know what I mean? The Flynn Rider smolder. Yeah. Enough. Thank you. That would make my butthole clench if I saw that a bad way. If I saw that?

Yeah, no. That's a no for me. Wait, what was the first part? He's all like, you can't. The hottest guy always wins. The hottest guy always wins. They don't care about your personality and they don't care what you have going on in your life. I disagree, friend.

I'm going to have to disagree too. Yeah. Because sometimes the ugly people be the funniest ones I've ever met. That's enough for me. And that's enough. If you can make me laugh, laugh. And I'm a stick beside him. If you can make me laugh, ho, let's just take these off.

That goes a long way for a lot of people. It's the best. Like, I don't know. I feel like my love language is laughter. If you can make me laugh and I'm the funniest bitch I know. Me, literally me. Then we're going to have to figure it up. Well, and just like general kindness.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, like I've said this. I think I've mentioned this before about when my boyfriend and I first started dating. But I always say like if he didn't start, like if he wasn't pursuing me, we probably would never be where we are now because like I wasn't, I'm not a pursuing kind of person. Fair. I think just because I'm anxious and I'm like,

you know what I mean? Instantly. But with him, like, he was very intentional about wanting to date me. So he was like, what are you doing tomorrow? What time?

Yeah. Okay, I'm going to pick you up. Like, and then if I didn't text him back, he'd be like, do you still want to meet tomorrow? Like,

he was very intentional about like, yeah. And that was like so shocking to me because I had never really dealt with that when I was dating. And he was very like, I want to see you. I want to spend time with you. There's two things with that.

One, I feel like a lot of people, our age are like in this zone where they want to be approached. There's not a lot of people approaching whereas they feel like they feel like maybe it's like self-doubt

maybe it's like something that nice but I also think it's sometimes sometimes it's like maybe I'm not I don't know what I'm trying to I think I kind of get what you're saying I think it's I would agree with you too if what you're saying

is that everyone wants to be approached and I think a big part of it is like almost an insecurity because you're worried. Like if I make the first move. Yeah, I think that's most of it. If I make the first move and it doesn't work, then I'm going to look a fool. Right. Right. So it's like almost a nervousness.

I also think it goes back to that like aesthetic thing. Like I'm not finding the right people to approach. Exactly. Therefore I'm just not going to. Yeah, exactly. So it's kind of like quitting before you get fired. Right. That kind of idea.

I feel that. So I think when when you're dating anybody, if they're intentional about wanting to see you and spend time with you, that goes so far that goes a long, long way like if you're just like hey I would really like to see you if you're available. That works. It works.

Water works. And you know that those people are going to screenshot and send it to their friends and be like oh my God, I like they want to see me. Like it's so exciting. Because it feels nice to feel wanted, desired, whatever it may be even if it's your company.

The second thing about that, that comment about the hottest guy always wins. I feel like a lot of, especially straight men, I literally see them not try to pamper or like groom themselves. And it's like you could, like, you, I don't want to say this. I don't want to say it, but you might be attractive. But like you present yourself as terrible as possible. Yeah.

You, first of all, clean up your beard. Yeah. Number one. Wash your ass. Wash your ass. This is the shit that be pissing me off. Why are you not washing your body? and trimming your hair.

Why are we going back to the stone age? And why are you trying to enter society? Well, and the same men who do that have these like impossibly high standards for women about bodily hygiene. Thank you. You know what I mean? Women have to be hairless, but you literally look like you just came out of a dame dame.

You know what I mean? Like, it's like, no, honey. Yeah, like literally on the Mayflower, you know how? Like they didn't shower for months when they came over here and they were disgusting and riddled with disease. Like, yeah, like maybe clean up a little bit too. Like take care of yourself in the sense that like, you know, wash your face, brush your f***ing teeth.

The amount of times, the amount of times I've been like, listen, you can see whatever you want about my teeth, at least mine are brushed. Listen, at least my not. At least they're not plaque riddled. Right. You feel me? Like, at least I'm not giving my dentist a nightmare. You know what I mean?

Like, at least that's the case for me. You know what I mean? but it doesn't cost you anything you know what I mean to like clean up just a little you open their mouth and it's home in America okay so some of the comments on this video this one says meanwhile a woman I know oh yo yoy meanwhile a woman I know never works out and has two bad blurry mirror selfies and has hundreds of matches and messages within a few days okay well I'm gonna go and say wrong then if that's the case what's the problem? That sounds like hating for myself of the club. That's what I'm saying.

If it's working for her, it's working for her. Get your bread up. Get your bread up. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, want you get your money up instead of your funny up,

bitch. Maybe the matches will start rolling in at that point. I always think to, like, when it comes to, like how women present themselves on social media, regardless,

like they said earlier, like men, like aggressively straight men like that are easy. Yeah. Like you would Anything. So like You're surprised that Even if she's not

Presenting the best You're literally telling on yourself And your brothers You know? Like your brethren Right Like Where do you think she's getting

The matches from? Yeah, not from herself Think! Think! It's like I always think like you're right there. You're so close! Just one step farther! I swear!

My God. It's true. They are concrete operational skills, that era for them? Oh, man. Oh, I can't even imagine. Wow. They're probably still trying to figure out what red plus, red plus blue equals.

You know what I mean? They're like, man, that might be green. This is, it's true. They are as shallow as us. Don't believe the lies. They are as shallow as us. So you're admitting. Well, I think.

That's not true. But shallow is like, I don't, I have such strong. opinions about that kind of like, please, pray tell. Just that, that, like, ideology is so riddled with, like, oh, this is a double standard, right? But, like, attraction is attraction. Like, who you're attracted to is not, like, a one-size-fits-all. Like, it's specific to the person. So, like, the difference is that women are like, oh, well, you know, to me, he's not

attracted, so I'm not going to date that person. I'm going to move on. To men like that, it's like, it's everybody's fault. but my own that this person is ugly. Yep. What? Like, this person is ugly to me, so I'm going to tell everyone around me. That this person is also ugly.

Yeah, like, I don't understand. Like, shallow is, to me, being shallow is somebody who, like, doesn't even want to engage with people that aren't a certain aesthetic. That doesn't mean just romantically. I mean, like, friendship-wise. Like, there are people that exist in this world that don't want to be friends with ugly people, whatever they mean, ugly, whether they're fat, ugly, whatever. and I feel like that's just a bad person.

That's not a gendered thing. At the end of the day, yeah. You're just a bad person. Yeah. At the end of the day, yeah. It's really, again, overcomplicating. You know what I mean? Like, if you have no matches, just say that.

If you're dying of pussyless behavior right now, that's on you. You know what I mean? Okay, this last one says, it's pretty ridiculous that men have to walk this route, taking professional picks like anyone has time for that, L.O.L. I feel like that was supposed to be like a drag, on women. Why do we have to do this?

But like you want to talk about what beauty standards you have to meet in order today? Do you really want to talk about that? Because we can get into it. Because we can get into it. And we can go get you a good concealer. Some lashes. Well, I think like even if you're if you're someone who only likes men, right? Or if you like anyone, right?

When it comes to women and others, like the beauty standards that we have to uphold or like hold ourselves to. are so much more stringent than like a straight cis man. Good word by the way. Boom, bitch. Love college. I think that

men, like you just said, they roll out of bed and they're like, I can't believe I have no matches. And a bitch will like wax herself from head to toe. It's a matter of reciprocation. Just to go on one lunch date with someone. There we go. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You want to talk double standard. It's terrible. It's literally such a terrible. I can't even. It like makes me upset. Like, why can't you just think, like, think it through? Yeah. Just a little.

You're getting the energy that you put out there. Exactly. And it's a terrible energy. Exactly. It doesn't feel very good. You're going to hate it. And I think, too, that, like, if you want to date a specific person, like, a very specific look or whatever, whatever.

Yeah. But don't make it everybody else's problem. Keep that to yourself. Yeah. Literally keep it in here. It's the same thing with, like, people who only date a specific race or only date a specific body type. Like, you're a.

weirdo. I will also say this because I can speak on it. Gay men and like man loving men. Yeah. All that kind of shit. Oh my God. Yeah. It's like why are we trying to impose such like heteronormative, I hate that word. Heterenormative standards on ourselves. Like it's true. It's you're not wrong though. I know. It's just like why are we doing this? Like you are acting just like your straight counterparts and I thought we were a little bit better than that. Yeah. Like it feels like almost like more evolved than that. Right. There's like this meme going around where it's like LG, TBQ, IA plus. And it's just because like gay men like honestly bring down the community in a way that I hate to watch.

It's like why are we these body standards and these like preferences to have like your perfect white twink is just like. It's harmful. It's harmful to a degree that I can't even like I don't have. I feel like I don't even have the language skills to describe. Like it's like all these people are like getting on social media. And like I'm trying to remember like when I was 14. Like if I saw like someone like me, I would have been like so happy.

Like look at them go. Exactly. But then you also see the other side where it's like you see these white queer men and like I should say white gay men. And it's like oh like maybe I should try to fit them because they're doing so well because again they're white. They still have so much privilege. They're a man.

They're sense. It's like what do you what do you glean to be like wow. Again, I don't have the language scales. It's just sad to see. Yeah, I think, I think, too, like, sometimes we forget, like, because we've all been raised within it. Yeah. That, like, a lot of these beauty standards are rooted in white supremacy and misogyny. Precisely.

And misogyny, even if you are someone who is gay, right? So, like, patriarchy and misogyny has had these rampant effects on dating life and beauty and what we find beautiful, what we perceive to be beautiful. where we perceive to be ugly, like all of that has been imposed on us. So it's not our fault that we've been born in that culture, but it is our fault if we die that way. Yeah. Because it's on us, especially as adults, dating in the adult world. Right.

To unlearn stuff like that. Precisely. Ask yourself, why do I feel that way? Like, why do I feel this, like, visceral distaste when someone looks a certain way? Why do I feel like I can't date someone that doesn't look this way? Why do I feel that way? Literally, the only questions you can ask. unpack it you know what i mean these comments like that like oh like why why do i have to put out

the energy that i want that yeah it pisses me off to it's like to an extreme degree yeah you're literally you are asking for people to be better different sexier whatever for you yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah exactly exactly and i also think too when when uh when it comes to like uh makeup and if men are like oh you have you have makeup blah blah oh that pisses me off you can wear makeup too you can wear makeup too come here come in the chair yeah last time like it's not as gendered as you think it it's literally makeup it's right it's a it's a thing like that doesn't have a gender so like if you want to look snatched yeah if you want to beat a face do it by all means there's a couple of guys on tixot now that i'm following just because i love makeup and stuff yeah and they're like

making their own like male I hate male like marketing but it works it works like they're making their own thing I have seen a guy like that like the ads like work I watched the whole ad I'm like good for you yeah I saw I saw one guy say he like showed his makeup routine because he's a male model but oh yeah he said this is what I do

when I'm not feeling as confident like if I'm having skin issues or whatever and he was like he wears real basic like drugstore makeup right kind of like concealer powder translucent powder that's blush maybe a little bit of blush that's it. You can wear it too. You can do whatever you want in this world.

Except be short and terrible. That's the only thing you can't. That's the only thing. That's the rule. Ananaia and I have made that a rule. It's a law. It's been passed. Sign in the law.

Okay. So as we wrap this up, what is it that you want people to know when it comes to dating or the pursuit of dating or what have you? I feel like my, I feel like if there's one thing that I do on this planet, I hope that it's teach people like you are allowed to express yourself the way you want.

You look beautiful while doing it. And I want them to feel like loved at the end of the day. So when it comes to dating, I hope that like you respect yourself. You learn to love yourself and you find like you find ways to like always hold on to that. Because my biggest problem, like getting to this point where I am now today, it's like I was so willing to change and like be a chameleon and like adapt to other people just so I can like fulfill this like fantasy that I've been seen in all the media I was growing up with. You know like I love like pride and prejudice and like all those like romantic like overly exaggerated like romantics and scenarios. Yeah. And I am at this point now where I deserve that.

Yeah. I want that. Absolutely. So I'm going to get it. I mean, shoot, I'm going to get it. Period. God, I've been doing it out on a lot. That's all right, babe.

So I just, I cast that upon you. I challenge you. I challenge everyone who's watching this to just like love yourself enough to just require and demand what you need. Absolutely. And what you deserve. And what you deserve. And what you deserve.

And I think too, I want to mention this too, that people like you are so important to have on social media because like you mentioned earlier what you could do for somebody who's young or even somebody who's older right who sees you living your truth and being open and honest and vulnerable that's important that's impactful yeah so the world needs people like you because we need you to take up space we need you to like establish a presence because when it comes to talking about things like dating yeah it is so much it holds so much more weight for people for kids who look like you who may relate to you and whatever it may be to hear you talking about dating you know what i mean especially like same thing with me obviously like i'm someone who has is dating a man but like as like a

woman as like a woman of color as a thick girl right like someone who's been who's navigated dating and now does this for a living i can like say with the utmost conviction that like holding your standards high is a good thing it's a really really good thing it's required it's important like and god i wish i beat that into myself a lot earlier. You know what? You're only 22. I know. You're 22, babe.

You're so young. You got so much time ahead of you. And it's great that you do it now. It's important that you do it now. It's, you do it whenever. It's never too late to start loving yourself more than anyone else could. Period.

Period. Love that. I hope you all enjoyed today's episode. I want to thank An Anaya for joining us today. The absolute best. Where can everybody find you? I am Ananiah 0. You spell it A-N-N-I-A.

Zero, zero. Ananiya. On Zerranoa. On Instagram, though, because there's some random bot, bitch who won't give it up. Love that. Make sure y'all go follow Ananiya.

You are truly a gem. I adore you. Thank you, true. You are such an amazing creator. And, and, and Ananiah is so talented. You are real bitch. You are the realest, bitch, I know. When it comes to makeup,

and when it also comes to singing, Anonis. You are the realest bitch, I know. Anai is going to be on Broadway one day and I'm calling it now and I'm going to be at opening night, bitch. Oh my God, this is going to be so embarrassing if I'm not. Can you imagine? No, you are. Everything I speak into existence, I make sure it comes true.

Boom, bitch. I know that's right. Make sure you all follow Ananaia for just the most, the funniest content, the most amazing content. Thank you all for joining us today on the comment section. If you want to watch full episodes of the comment section show, they drop every Wednesday. And you can also stream each episode on all streaming platforms. Spotify, I have a podcast, Amazon, you know, you know all the platforms. anyways. Thank you all so much for joining us today. Thank you so much to Anna Naya,

and I'll see you guys next week. Bye.