The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - Dating Horror Stories | Drew Afualo ft. Dove Clarke | THE COMMENT SECTION EP3

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Dove Clarke spills her worst dating horror stories to Drew! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Dove: https://lovedoveclarke.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Traumatizing. Oh, absolutely. I thought about it for days. I was like, you're telling me about it, and I'm crudging as if I was there, as if I was the titty. What's up, y'all, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show, starring me, That Bitch on TikTok, period. And today, joining me for the very first time on this very special episode is the Ethereal, the Magnetic Dove Clark. Woohoo! Gorgeous. As ever. Honestly, we took bets and we knew that you were going to be dressed like a fairy. That's like your whole brand.

It is. Honestly, Dove is one of the funniest bitches, which is alive, especially on Twitter. That's where you thrive. It is where I thrive. I feel like that's where you're most. Yes. Yes. I'm so incredibly excited that you're here.

I'm so happy you're here. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited to be here. And honestly, our topic, I specifically chose for Dove because you have the greatest dating horror stories of all time. Oh, yes. I am constantly entertained. I'm swiping through your Twitter. I'm constantly like, what's this bitch out to today? A new day, a new loser. You're just collecting them. Yes. Like infinity stones. Yes. You're the Thanos of Horrible Men. Period. Yes. So today, obviously, we're going to be talking about dating horror stories,

but also men's standards for women. What are your initial thoughts? When I say men's standards for women in dating, what are your thoughts? Entirely too high. Entirely too high. They just like, what do you bring to the table? Constantly. Do you have a table, sir? Honestly, I always say, like, what do I bring to the table?

I mean, you don't need to worry about it. Yeah, I'm not coming to your table. You don't have a seat here. No. You don't even know where the restaurant is. I didn't even drop the pin. You don't know. No.

Don't worry about it. You didn't get an exclusive invite. You won't. You won't. If you're not sitting here, you don't need to worry about what's being served. Exactly. You feel me? I agree.

100%. So for those of you who don't know are joining us for the very first time, but I'm going to tell Dev anyways, what we do here is we pick three videos that we got tagged in or I got tagged in on TikTok and we get into those comments sections. I like to say I bring them here to specifically tear them to shreds. I love it. I'm a little cheese grater. I'll just bring them over here and I go to town. They need it. You know, like, when they're like, do you want cheese on your salad?

I'm like, that's me. I go and I just go to town. And you're at my restaurant. Oh, I am. You're sitting at my table because I'm ready to eat, yes. Okay, perfect. So, for this very first video that we're going to talk about today, it's honestly, it's sad because it's like such a harsh reality for, I think, most women when they're dating,

especially, like, college age. Yeah. But essentially, this girl tells a story about how she wants. went on a date with someone in college. They vibed. They hid it off. They're like doing well. They had a good time. Spent a lot of times together. And then the next day, she didn't wake up to a text from him, which is always a bad sign.

I mean, a red flag from a mile away. Yes. Right? So then she goes to go check on his profile, and he's since updated his bio. And it says in all caps, please no fat girls. Wow. I mean, what are your thoughts? I mean, he should be lucky that any girl is swiping on him.

Honestly, also. I feel like you know. Yeah, right. You swiped. No fat girl. You were there. Like, you saw me, correct? I meant a lost word.

I don't even know what to say about that. Like, how many times do women go on dates with men? And then they're like, okay. Oh, yeah, you don't look like these pictures either, sir. Yeah. So. You know what's funny? Is your high school football picture?

from 2012. Yeah. It's not really giving me much. Yeah. It's not giving me anything really when it's 10 years old. No. You know what I mean? The shirt, like the open shirt, like on a yacht.

Where's the yacht? Yeah. You're missing a key component here. Yeah. Like, uh. I feel like something got lost in translation. Absolutely. That's the true catfish.

No money. Oh. Or when they have a hat on. When they have a hat on in all the pictures. Oh, a hatfish. I love a good hatfish. That's literally how I equate it to like, all

uniforms too. Mm-hmm. Because for all I know, yeah, there's nothing under that padding. You could be Quasimodo under that helmet. For all I know,

it could look like a hammer smash that mug for all I know. So Dove actually shared with me a very traumatizing dating horror story from Hinge, I believe. Yes, from Hinge,

the dating app designed to be deleted for good reason. And red downloaded quarterly. Yes, yes. So I went on this Hinge date, as you know.

the guy's profile said 5-11. I was like, okay, a short man, that's fine. I can do that. He pulls up to the date a strong 5-foot-7. And I'm like, looking down at him, I'm like, okay, I can work with this. I can work with this. I'm not shallow. I don't care that you lie.

You're like, I like charity. Yeah, oh, I do lots of charity work. If you've seen any of my ex-boyfriends, like, I do charity. Like, call me the Salvation Army. But anyway, so we're having a good time. I'm like, okay, like, I don't mind that this man is shorter than me because I don't, that's not like something I always care about. Yeah.

So the date ends, and I go to hug him goodbye at the end of the date. Yeah. Pulls up my sweater, puts my full titty in his mouth. And I'm standing there. I'm like, okay, in his defense, he was eye level with it. I was trying to justify it. You know what? He saw his opportunity. Oh, he took it. He was like, this is never going to get further than this?

I go bigger. I go home. Oh, he went big. He went big. He showed up small. He didn't. He went big. Yes. The one big thing about him. Yes. I'm sure. Traumatizing. Oh, absolutely. I thought about it for days. You're telling me about it and I'm crudging as if I was there. As if I was the titty. Well, I was the titty. And I honestly, I was ready to cut it off and give it back to my surgeon after that. You're like, you know what? I've had my fun with this.

Yeah, like, they're tainted now. I don't need this one anymore. Like, I'll just go one. I just stood there and I just looked at him and I was like, did he say anything? He was like, bye. And then I, and then like, walk to it. You said, yeah, forever. Yeah, I was like, okay.

And then I immediately deleted the app. You're like, see, this is the universe punishing me. Bye. Downloading Hinge again. Mm-hmm. You see it? Haven't downloaded it again. Every time they're like, girl, what did I tell you?

Get off this app. Every time. People are like, what are you doing on Hinge? And I'm like, obviously, I'm looking for losers. You know what? I like a project. I just love, I love to do charity like we said. I do, yes.

I love to give back. Fix her upper. Truly, I don't, I want to say your story's worse than please no fat girls. I want to say your story is worth. There's a little sexual assault. There's just a tad too much interaction. for me there. At least like, at least like a please know fat girls is like a virtual slap in the face. Yeah. Not a physical titty in the mouth. Yes. There you go. Oh my God. Yeah. You know, I never really

did dating apps like ever really. I think I downloaded them one time for like shits and gigs. But like that was it. Like it was really nothing. I get on there. Well, got. I used to get on there. I don't do that anymore because I have self-respect now. But, oh, it was abysmal. I know. I would be swiping left on everyone. It's tragic. I'd be like, ew.

And then his thing says, please no fat girls. Yeah, like, oh, you got some nerve. Like, Wazimodo, yeah. Dobby from Harry Potter. Oh, oh. He's like, no fat chicks, can't be broke, can't be, can't be un-eisuous. I like a girl with her own money. Yeah.

Like, do you have your own money? Okay, so the comment. on this please know fact girls video which by the way girl if you ever see this you deserve better absolutely thank the bitch he did you a favor for letting you go he did you a favor waste my time to k-22 you know oh yeah okay so some of the comments on this video like this one says i went on a date literally all day with a guy and he texted me the next day saying he would be embarrassed if his friends met me i feel your pain which is i just like the unparalleled audacity is just like it's rife.

It's a disease. Yeah. I just truly don't know what gives you the right. My friends would be embarrassed. Let me see your friends. Let me see them. Let me see them. Would they be embarrassed?

And then show me their dads. Oh. And then we'll see who's really embarrassed. Yes. After that. This next one says, I've literally started responding that they were a lot smaller than I anticipated to. Works like a charm.

Oh, my God. You know what I mean? Gaslight. Gaslight your ass off. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you're like, you know, you really made me believe that you were like a lot taller and more successful. The bar's in hell. Oh, I said that all the time. Below hell. It's truly, it's at the earth's mantle. It's at the core, truly. And then they're like, it's still too high. I have to be nice to you. I have to do things for you. I have to like treat you like a person. Yeah. God. ex had a hard time with that. He was like, you need flowers to feel appreciated. I can't treat you. Yeah, he was like, you want to be treated like a wife and I just like, I can't do that right now. I'm like, oh. Okay, princess die.

Yeah, like, okay, Queen Elizabeth over here, because you want to be treated nicely. That's crazy. That's a wild concept from a boyfriend. Oh, yeah. How dare you? Yeah, of a year. He was like, flowers. And you're like, well, you know.

Yeah. Okay, so this next comment says they're ashamed that they like us. I mean, yeah, that's such a problem, I think, for fat women, especially dating. It's like, men are just awful. They're rotten. That's what it is. They are. That's just the truth.

Well, men, like, date for their homeboys. They're like, what can I bring home that would make them not only jealous, but, like, want to suck my dick? Yeah, literally. So they're like. And they're like, like, like, you know, hunting. Yeah, they're like, but behind closed doors, they're like, like hey yeah they're like I love your curves no seriously and then this next one says I've been 120 pounds and also 200 pounds it's wild how differently I'm treated by people solely on weight

oh I believe it yeah absolutely I've fluctuated weights too and it's it's it's just a sad reality unfortunately but honestly you deserve better that's what you should know absolutely hold that hold on to that honestly always you're always better than every man just remember that especially one who sucks your tithes. Yes. Unsolicited. Yes. The next one says, this is the last one.

It says, I've noticed now the polite way they say it is they want gym partners or a girl into fitness. Into fitness. Oh, that's so true. I've never thought about it that way. Oh, they definitely do. I really like like-minded girls, you know, like girls that really like to get after it in the gym. I'm like, so they're your friend. Yeah, right?

I don't think you want to date women. Yeah, no, date your home boys. Because they'll get after it in the gym with you. They'll get after it after the gym with you too. I'm sure. If you're into it. Unless you're not, then I was totally kidding. Yeah.

Totally kidding. I was totally joking. Oh my God. It was such a joke. You can't even take a joke. One time, I'll tell one more story. Another time I went to a club back in my clubbing days. And I was like talking to this dude.

He met me there. And then he was like, you know, you're just getting free drinks. I'm like, I'm just here for a good time. You know what I mean? Are you going to buy me a drink? No. Okay, see you. Yeah, bye.

So he's talking to me. me and I'm like, yeah, like, oh my God, I'm so thirsty, you know, like the stupid bitch shit. Like, oh my God, I wish I had a drink so hot here. And then he goes, I'm not buying drinks here. It's too expensive. I said, man, forget this dude. I'm out of here. So I go to go buy a drink myself.

I go buy myself with my own girl boss money. Buy my drink turned around. This dude pulls a plastic red cup out of his pants. Goes, can I get some of that? In a club. You're kidding. I swear on my life. He did not have a cup.

It's burned into my front of love. In his pants, ready to go. It's a core memory thing. Can I get some of that? Yeah, he said, let me get some of that. Can you get out of my face? He brought a cup from home. He brought a cup from home.

He took it out, goes, like, pops it open, puts the fist in, you know what I mean? He's like, hook me up. I'll hook you up with these nuts. You will never see me again. I have never been more. I literally went home. I was like, you ruined my night. Yeah.

I drank that whole. That's actually unbelievable. I drank that whole drink and one drink left. I was like, I'm out of here. I'm gone forever. I'm so sorry, but you make me. me sick. Yeah. The thought of your face makes me ill. I'm ill hearing this story. What's worse? I think your titty's so worse. Honestly, I think you got me there. Honestly, that's the worst.

Yeah. So for this next one, we're going to play a little game because we like to break it up. We like to break up talking about disgusting horrible, awful men, which is all of them, all of the above, right? So in this game, we're going to talk about what's the women's standard of dating? So like I guess you could just talk about like what women's standards are currently because I feel like men like horrible men like to make it like, oh, she wants someone that's six, seven and rich and famous and blah, blah. And that's well, I do. But I will settle for you for now. I won't say no to that. Yeah.

But at the same time, that's not the only thing on my list. Yeah, exactly. I feel like like this, there's an example on here and it says like has to be over six feet. jk where we aren't assholes we love short kings right so like that is just to be nice I need you over six feet I can't be petting you on the head with I we're honestly both tall yeah so like that's fine if you have a preference like you want someone taller than you like I'm not just tall I'm I'm a thick bitch so like it's different like you're tall too so that's why I'm like I need someone bigger than me like that's why my man's bigger than me yeah a lot so that's

must be nice I catch the bridge trilled. You're just picking them up like a vacuum. Not always, not always, but a lot of times. They just flock to me. It's like something about me is like, just like, it's like a magnet. Just mock to a flame.

Crazy, broke, short, evil. You're like those lanterns that just attract moth. Yes, I'm the lantern like in the night. It's like, come to me. They're just flying right to you. Yeah. Honestly, I think. two like short dudes who don't make their entire personality about being short they're fine yeah oh exactly

just fine in the dating world yeah and no the guys that are like i'm a short king like are you you're really not or you're just short yeah you're just short maybe omit that last part yeah maybe just short yeah we can be the king at home i promise well there are lots of like i feel like famous men that are short that you don't know are short in real life like like the dude who plays uh john snow ever watched game with Jones. Oh yeah, he is short. He's tiny. Isn't he like 5.7 or something? No, I think he's smaller than that. I think he's like 5.5. Don't quote me on that, but again, I can smell height. So I think he's like 5, 5, 5, 6 maybe. Tiny. Wow. And like you can't tell. No. Because he doesn't care. No, he doesn't. That's not important to him, literally at all. Like Zach Ephron, I think is like

5, 6. Yeah. Tiny. That's a little man. That's tiny, tiny little boy. I know. I'm like, I just pick him up. Yeah, literally. Come here, baby. Come sit on Santa's lap. So I feel like for standards of day, I don't know. Like, it's like be nice. Be nice to me. Please.

Be respectful. Don't be a bigot. It's really not that hard. Yeah. Don't be like, you know what? Another story. Man approached me in a bar. Never met him in my life.

He's wearing scrubs. He claimed to work at a psych ward. I think he had just broken out of the psych ward. In the outfit? Oh, yeah. He snuck out. Yeah, he looked like he snuck out. He had the eyes.

He was like, and he comes up to me and he's like, you know what I love about black women? And I'm like, let me stop you right there. I really don't want to know. Let me stop you right there. And then he continues and he's like, they just fiercely protect their man. I'm like, do you think I am some sort of animal or like. You're like looking behind you. Like, where's the man?

Like, literally, I was like, who? Who? me. He'sle, did I say worked at the hospital? I meant I'm fresh out the hospital. Yeah, right? That's what I meant. Yes.

I actually meant I escaped the hospital. No, he didn't blink. Like, I watched him, and I counted the seconds, and it was a good minute in 40 seconds that he did not blink, and I was like, yeah. Something's not right. Like, you weren't kidding. You weren't kidding about who flocks to you. Oh, they love me.

I don't know. They just, like, I'm minding my business in the bar sometimes with my friends, and they just weed me out. They just come right up to you. They were like, I can sense it about you. like she can fix me. I'm like, please, I'm tired. You're all my hands. I'm tired.

I don't really, I mean, I don't remember most of my encounters back in the day, probably for good reason. But a lot of times when I would get approached by white men, let's just call it what it is. Oh, yeah. Because they can't tell what race I am. Yeah. Sometimes I'd have them come up to me start speaking Spanish. Then I go, bye.

Are you talking to me? Parami. right that's why it was like uh and they're like oh i love i love a latina and i said me too but she's not here so like i don't know who you were talking to bro and i tell them when i am they're like oh that's cool whatever yeah like they're like oh are you you're uh blasian right i'm like first of off i was you would know because i'd be like i'm blazian by the way my username is blasian barby just the fact that they talk about it so openly like they earlier, where are you from?

I'm like, the beach. Oh my God, me too. I do that too. Where are you from? I'm like, America. I do the same thing. One time I was on a bar with my boyfriend, right? I had a white dude come up to us.

He starts talking to us. He goes, where are you guys from? And we're like, oh, California. Because we were at Disneyland, so we're like, we're from here. Yeah. And he goes, because he said he was from Ohio. Of course he was. He goes, no, like, where are you?

from. Yeah. And I just start literally answering every time. I'll go all day. I've clocked out. I've canceled my schedule. I'm sitting here all night. I'm not saying one thing that you want me to say.

No. So I was like, you know, like Orange County. Yeah. And he goes, no, like, you know what I mean? And I go, are you familiar with Orange County? Like, Anaheim. Like, I'm like, are you an idiot? And he goes, where are your ancestors from?

I was like, dude. I don't know. Why are you worried about it? I know where yours are from. Yeah. I know where you're supposed. Honestly, mine were displaced probably. Yeah.

Sears. So that's why, I mean, just the audacity. Once again, unparalleled. They just can't get enough. No. No. Yeah. No, I'm a white boy magnet too.

And they always come out of the, they come out of the drains for me. They're like. Like hairballs? Yes. You're like, hello, black woman. I'm like, like, nice to meet you black. They're like, I'm just trying to vibe with you. Yeah.

to relate to you. Oh, I had a guy straight up, like, come up to me like, what's up shoty? I was like, who? Did you immediately melt? Did your brain just implode on itself? I was like, I looked around. I was like, who is shoddy? Is that the name of your dog? Is that your golden retrievers name? Hey, I think this guy's talking to you. Yeah. Right. Like, I was like, he's talking to you. You're all, hey, shoddy, he's talking to you. Yeah, right? Like, are you shoddy? Yeah. I'm not. This man's looking for you. Yeah. okay so just to like kind of round this out what would you say are like your top three standards like just base level for men please be nice to me um don't be musty yeah and this is like this is like

bare minimum this is like really sad that's why i said like ground floor yeah so uh be nice to me don't be musty and um trying to think of one other standard that's truly it like that's that's all I need, really. Just be nice and wash your ass. That too. Please. And also, like, maybe be able to hold an intelligent conversation. Somewhat.

But, like, yeah. That's fine. Yeah. I'm lenient on that. Yeah. I talked about it on here before, but I had a dude once make up a word in front of my very eyes. He was in the middle of telling me how smart he was.

He's like, I'm so smart, dude, like, honestly, like, people don't know that about me. I'm like, a word. He goes, yeah, and then he makes up a word. And I wish, to this day, I can remember what it was. You know why I don't? Because it's not a real word. That's why I didn't retain it.

And I was like, interesting. Very smart. Yeah. Speaking of charity work, right? That leads us right into our next video. Oh, yes. Which is, again, another man imparting his wisdom on us, I would say, from his car, which is always a good sign. Yes.

He wants to give us the facts, right? He wants to lay down the truth. You're just keeping it real. Is he in a military uniform? He thinks yes. As an empathth once again, I'm going to say yes, right? And he goes down this very long list of things that you should, like standards for women who even want to come close to dating him.

He's like, if you want to get on this, you have to meet these criteria. Nothing less will do. I think I know the video you're talking about. And I think it's the man that looks like a boiled egg. right literally he's got some serious nerve some like self-reflection i think is required oh self-confidence is important but self-awareness self-awareness is so much more essential oh and they're lacking severely in the self-awareness just to move through life you know what i mean so he goes down the list he says if she's not compliant kick her to the curb okay compliant with what with his rules as the man

oh right he says if she doesn't care about her fitness she gets the boots i he's a big fan of these these like metaphors the boot kick to the curve like he's big fan of those uh if she doesn't understand the difference between being the slave and being submissive she gets the boot because that's childish so childish bro you don't understand a difference between me telling you what to do and also me telling you what to do you can't tell the difference between that that's crazy slave boot. You think me telling you what to do at all days of the hour, like all hours of the day

constantly, and you think that's slave work? What are you a child? Yeah. What are you uneducated? You don't know anything. What would you call that then? You have to follow my instructions the right way. Yeah.

What would you? Not in the slave way. What would you got? It's not a, it's not slavery is what is an indentured servitude. Like, I don't understand what it is being a butler. Yeah, it's, yeah. He's like, please be my mommy. sometimes I say that

Sometimes I'm like Kind of sounds like you want to be with your mom Mm-hmm Or a mom You should go to her Yes You run to her Honestly because I don't want you

You sound like you need a hug Well and I always think like Last time I checked I didn't give birth to you Yeah right Like you don't come out of mine I mean based off that mug alone Oh

Definitely not mine There's no way I don't even need a test I don't need a test Nothing because I know Just laying my eyes on you I know Yeah there's no way

I didn't produce that No way If she wears excessive makeup she gets the boot. I mean, at me next time. You know what I mean? I've talked about this on the show too. Like, makeup is this weird thing with like misogynistic men.

Yeah. When they don't even really know what makeup looks like. Like you look so incredibly beautiful right now. I bet you if they saw you, they'd be like, see, this is no makeup look. This is no makeup. Like this is like fresh face. They're so dumb. I wake up like this.

They're literally so dumb. And you know what? I have a ton of makeup on my face. And if I jumped into a pool, I'd come out, I'd look just like this. So you can literally eat my whole ass. Oh, absolutely. You can't tell the difference. Your brain's too small.

Yeah. And as far as guys that, like, need makeup themselves. I think that's what they're really mad about. They're really mad that they can't, like, it's unacceptable for them to, like, put some concealer on those brows and pluck those nose hairs. Again, like, I wish you would. That's why I'm like, please do. It's okay.

I give you full permission. It's fine with me. Yeah. And it's so funny. funny like they definitely don't know how it works because it's like I at the end of the day I will take this makeup off yeah and I will still be gorgeous exactly and it's like what's the difference what do you think like what do you think is going to happen I take it off and I'm a like a skeleton like quasi-modo under here you wipe it off it's like Scooby-Doo you take it off like a mask

you're just an old white man underneath yes he's like I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids you wipe it off dude you're just a straight scam skeleton can you imagine that would be great actually just like that would be so cool I would love to see if that's how makeup worked I would understand yeah I would get it but you know what these kinds of men are so stupid they would still well they've never seen a real woman in their lives and they've never had the touch of a woman yeah ever yeah ever so they're just kind of going based off like like their hopes and dreams oh yeah they're like this is what I think I would want if someone ever gave me a chance okay and then

And the last thing he says is stop accepting subpar women. So true, bro. Don't settle for these subpar women. Wear makeup. Say bad word. No way. As a subpar man, I think maybe it is self-awareness. Maybe he's like, I know that I am sub-par.

Doesn't seem to know that he knows this. But hear me out subconsciously. It might be, he's like, we can't both be sub-par. like one of us has to be the loser and it's already me and it's always he's all and I'm tired of it being me yes I'm so tired of it being I'm tired for I'm tired for playing for second I'm so tired of it I need someone worse than me please please someone make me feel better I'm so tired he needs a mother there you go right it's circling back so the comments on these on this video are honestly this this one is from a dude and he says I'm sorry it's not going to work we got too many simps

that will give any female their life saving just for existing. Teach control in solitude? Huh? Where those simps that. Okay, sock in my way. Yeah, what? Spin me a yarn. Shakespeare, you know what I mean?

Like, teach, okay, Gary V. Teach control in solitude. What the hell does that even mean? He's making it up in his mom's basement. Honestly. And this whole, like, fallacy of, oh, like, she just wants money. like she just wants like life savings like she wants my life savings like what's in there be real with me show me a bank literally have seven hundred dollars you're a hundred air bro like and you think i'm

after you for your imaginary money so like that's why i said you're creating these situations in which you get rejected like fantasy like lore almost why why they're bored and getting no pussy That's pussyless activity. Literally like fatherless behavior. Oh yeah. And this next one is pretty awful. It says facts, which they love to write. Facts, no printer.

It doesn't say that, but that's what he was probably saying in his head. He eliminated 90% of black women and 60% of all American women go foreign. They're not lazy entitled. are and sex way freakier listen if you're describing sex as freaky you're not having sex no that's just a fact brother you are not getting any none no way dude they're like yeah bro she spit on my ball sack it was so freaky it's like freaky so freaky bro it's like it's literally like when little kids like tried to like convince like pre-pubes and teens like try to convince their friends, they've definitely seen boobs. They're like, dude, I've seen like nine boobs total.

Yeah. I've seen so many boobs. Where's the other one? I've seen so many, bro. Like, I swear. I'm like, you want to know about boobs, you come to me. Oh, yeah. I've seen them. I've seen them all. That's one. There's so many horrible things in here, but they're like, go foreign. When they talk about foreign bannies, like, they're always like, you know, like, from Long Island. I need me a Jersey girl. Bye. So on this next section, we're actually going to go over the comments that I got on the previous episode of the comment section show. So obviously we're going to read them and then we're going to rank them and just kind of pick our faves.

Okay. Because it's my show and I can do whatever I want. And Dove can too because Dev is here. Okay. So this first one says, this is it. This is cured my depression. BRB flushing my meds. This is a high I will never come down from.

I mean high praise. Yes. Don't flush your meds, but high praise. Yeah, you'll need those. Three to five business days, I promise. She's like I can promise you that. This one says also men having the standards of basically a child is the reason I'm nervous about trying to date unless they're from my imagination. Because we talked about like how sometimes men have this like fantasy of pre-pedos.

Yeah. Yeah. They're like, oh, like I want a hairless. like more a story for you oh my god i had a guy that um would want me to take off my makeup before sex because he said that he liked that i looked 14 years old and he this was like years ago and he also like begged me not to get a boob job and then when i got one he cried and i was like yeah i'm gonna see you on a registry very soon tough i know i know i know i'm speechless bitch. I was like, well, after that, like, I gotta leave now.

You're like, yeah, that's, I've seen all I needed to say and heard everything I needed to hear. At first I was like, I was like, why did I asked him finally one day. I was like, you just think I'm like so pretty without makeup. Like, really? You don't need me to like, you're like, oh my God, how nice. And he's like, yeah, I just like that you look 14, you know, like. It's natural. It's natural for like men to like, like stuff like that. To like kids? I don't think so. Is it? Is it? Natural for pedos?

Yes. I mean, my God. Well, you know what? Your stories are stacking up. I just truly don't know which one's the worst. I know. It's a race for the top right now. It really.

You're a trooper. This is why people follow me on Twitter. They're like, whatever that girl is doing, that's why you did not. If she can get through it, so cannot. Yes. You're a beacon of hope. Yeah. Also, I feel like it's important to note.

I went to all girls boarding school, so I had like no experience with men. So like I didn't, I didn't start dating until like college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I didn't know like how to vet them or like how to like. Just like general social interaction. Yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, no social interaction with them at all. And honestly, as stupid as they are, some of them are good at pretending.

Oh, yeah. No, they would all fool me at first. They're, they're, they're, they're, spasbians. for sure. They're in the art. They're like, and see. I am a pedophile. They're like in scene. I'm horrible. Yeah. So you got to deal with it now.

So now we're at the point in the show where I actually give Dove a chance to talk about a video that she was recently tagged in. And honestly, it left me speechless just a little bit. So I'm going to let Dove explain what happened in the video. paint us a picture. Yes. Okay. So essentially in this video, this girl has the green screen up,

and it is this text from this Caucasian man from the mountains of caucus. And he says, I'm sorry for being random. I'm a white boy, but I have you saved in my phone under hot woman of color. And I've never dated one of you before.

But you must have rubbed me the right way. Yeah, you must have rubbed me the right way. One of you, I'm sure you've never, I'm sure you've never come anywhere near a woman of color, wherever in your life. Honestly, the woman of color was too stunned to speak. Oh, she had. She absolutely was.

She had nothing to say. Did she answer? I don't even, I don't even know if she answered. I have no idea. I hope she didn't. I hope not, yeah. But it's like, if you just like, if you just think about it, this man was so desperate, so thirsty for just a taste of any vagina.

that he was going through his contacts. He was like, he saw a hot woman of color. He said, I never had that before. He said, you know what? I'm sending it. Yeah. I'm full send. Full send on everything.

I'm just sending out. He was like, you know what? I got nothing to lose. He clearly had nothing to lose talking about, I've never dated one of you before. After you shared that with me, that just the absolute gem of a video, had to go in the comment section, check it out, see what was going on in there, you know what I mean? So I literally read this one that says, oh my God, he's acting like we're a different species, which, I mean. I think he might be convinced that we are.

The otherworldly. Yes. Woman of color, never seen that before. What if you responded to the text and you were like, are you looking to get probed? Let's do it. Let's do it, man. I do that for real. Let me take you out of this world entirely.

Yes. Let me take you out of this world. I can. Someone commented, this is a hate crime. I mean, it is. It is right by the very definition of it. Anybody texting me, sorry, I'm a random white boy. Hate crime automatically.

Yeah, automatically. I don't want to hear nothing else. I don't need to know because I know you're a random white boy. Yeah, clearly, because he said woman of color. Woman of color. He's like, no, it's okay. I can say that because that's like politically correct. They're cool with it.

Trust me. Yeah. They're fine. It's fine. They are. And what if she was just a tan white girl? like just one who baked too much they wouldn't know the difference

oh they would have no idea they would have no idea they would have no idea exotic foreign woman he's like ooh Brazilian she just wearing lots of soul de Janeiro just all over her body just lots of self-sanner

yeah literally a jersey girl yeah literally okay this last one says the fact that he typed this up looked at it and still thought it was okay to send do you think anything is going on in these men's like honestly rocks nothing but rocks in there.

Dust. Not even rocks. Thank God. Not a rock in there. Dust. Dust bunnies. Honestly, like... Lose change.

Truly. Honestly, it's like... Pussy will make you do wild things. Oh. Pussy will make you do... Hell of a drug. Or the hell of a drug. Or the lack thereof, I guess.

Right? Yeah. An extreme starvation of it. Oh. When they're in a drought, a man will... A man will... do anything.

Anything. Honestly, it's like keto, but like vaginas is carbs. And they're just eating, they're eating bell pepper ham sandwiches. And they're like this. I can't. They're like, okay. I can't live like this. They're like, hi, women of color.

Listen, what are your thoughts? What are you doing? Are you up? Let's hang out. I've jerked myself off 26 times in the past three days. He's like, please. It hurts. Please, I need carbs.

I need a touch of a woman. I feel like you have tons of stories. Oh, but I'm sure you. have some related to this. Oh, man. They're like, oh, so like, are you like black, black?

Or are you just like, are you mixed or like, or what? And I'm like, I'm black. Yeah, like, I don't know. What do you want? Like, what? If that counts.

Yeah, like what? And they're like, well, they make it seem like it would be different if I, if I were mixed. Yeah. Like, if I were less black than that would be.

more appealing to them. Yeah. And I'm like, yuck. Hmm. They're like, honestly, you don't seem like somebody I want to be around.

Yeah, in the bar, they like go in their bag, they bring out of 23 and me. They're like, I'm just gonna need you to just really quickly. Can I please? Can you just spit on this? And then I'll see you in like five to seven

business days. Yeah. After $275, I'll come back here. Let's meet back here and then we'll discuss it together. Yeah. What are your thoughts?

Absolutely. They're like, uh, uh, uh, uh, so you are like Native American though, right? Right?

And I'm like, that's so crazy because that's the fetishization of both black women and Native American women. On one billion. On one billion that you combine the two. Oh, yeah. That's why they find me. I don't know what it is. That's probably what it is. They come out of the woodwork like termites.

The crazy thing is it's like they see you as another species almost. Oh, absolutely. They do. Like actually. They're like, they're like foreign. I'm like. I'm sorry. The ancestors not only had this nation first.

Yeah. The other ancestors built the rest of the nation. I don't think you want to get into that. And like, what are we? The foreign. Yes, you want to tell you're like, we were literally here first. Literally like, I think you're foreign. Yeah, actually though.

Yeah. Andrew from England. No one's an immigrant on stolen land. And that's just a fact. Oh, so the guy I dated for a year. Yeah. The Flowers guy? Yes, the flowers guy.

Love that. You want to be treated like a wife. I'm like, just a human being would be nice. I mean, I already do act like your mother. So, yeah. You could meet me just like a quarter of the way. Yeah. Oh, man.

I was really like, I was like, why am I not getting the bare minimum from this man? I'm so glad you're no longer with that person. Yeah, me too. I'm sure the fetish game was on $10 billion with that dude too. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Oh, more to the story. so his grandmother apparently like she this woman did not see a picture of me yeah nothing just heard

like heard just talked yes heard i was black and she was literally like crying to him like she was like you can do so much better i promise you don't have to do that like you do not have to date her i treated this man like like god a year yeah a year with he fooled me for well it was also like long distance most of the time. So he was like playing the game. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'd see him in person.

He'd be nice for a while. So he was committing to the big. Yeah. And then he would steal my medication. And then like, yeah. And then I was like, I got a mask and you were like, you were a nightmare. Oh, not that. You're like, okay.

I thought this was a love story. Turns out it's Texas chainsaw mask. Yes. I was like, oh, psychopath. I'm good. Thank you. No, no thank you. Yeah.

I'm out of here. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Pick a favorite. Honestly, a fave of yours, I don't even know where to start. Probably, oh my God. I'm going to pick the Navy SEAL. I was going to say, it has to be a titty guy.

I would just because this is the randomness of it. I just, when I say, I was in complete shock. Like, I'm going to think about this. He was straight up like, you needed the visual. You needed the visual. He was down here and was like, and I'm like, you're like, okay, well, you know. I was like, well, I'll never be seeing you again. So this was not great, but thanks, I guess.

But see, now, look where about you? You could come tell it on my show. I'm talking about him. That's going to do it for today's episode of the comment section show. I want to thank the wonderful, magical, fairy ethereal dub Clark for joining me today. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for coming. I'm so happy you came.

Honestly, you know what's funny? You're just wonderful outfit is so. polar opposite of your stories. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. No, people like see me and then they meet me and they're like, what the fuck? Oh, sorry. You look like a dream and you've lived a couple of nightmares. Oh, yes. I'm not going to lie to you.

Many. But they've made you a wonderful, hilarious person. That's all that matters. I truly believe every funny person has a little bit of trauma. Oh, yes. That's the only way. I'm like one of the true cases, like, you know, we make fun of those people. It's like, my trauma made me funny. You're not. Not if you say it like that.

Yeah. But I truly think Dove is one of the funniest bitches on the internet. I'm so happy you came. Thank you so much for joining us today. And so where can everybody find you? My handle on everything is Love Dove Clark. Clark has an E at the end. And Dove is also my CEO of two different businesses.

So where can everybody find those? Yes, I do own two companies. So the first one is I sell soap. and candles. That one is the love dove company.com. And my second company is Authenticbay.com. It's a 3D blockchain

authentication service for designer bags and we have other stuff like shoes and coats and all kinds of stuff. Love, we stand a girl boss. We're a girl boss here all the time. Gatekeep, gaslight. Yes, girl boss. That's

my mission statement. The 3Gs. I don't have a company, but if I did, that would be you are a company you are a company I'm the company you are please remember

that if you want to be featured in my next episode or a future episode of the comment section tag me in all of the terrible awful horrible shitty tictox that you want me

to see so I can bring them here and cheese grate them over a salad like olive garden I'm just like would you like some cheese I just go to town and I feed everybody you do that's because I'm just giving

that she's known for feeding the people right and we're at charity charity we give back all the time very charitable women so thank you so much again for joining us remember that you can stream the comment section on all streaming platforms like Spotify and apple podcast and remember to subscribe to pass your bedtime on youtube bye