The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - DOLLS, ARE WE WRONG? Ft. Trace Lysette

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

This week, Trace Lysette (Monica, Hustlers, Transparent) joins Drew to unpack TikTok’s “tradwife” trend. They talk about Trace's guest appearance on Drew’s favorite show (Law & Order SVU, of course), how her friendship with Laverne Cox inspired her as an actress, working with iconic women on the cast of Hustlers, hypocritical men in Trace’s DMs, and so much more! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Trace: IG / TikTok For sponsorships/partnerships, email [e-mail]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Your faves. Yep. They want to lay down with us. And so you look stupid and goofy when you call us man and shit. Yeah. And welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, Drew. Everybody knows me. Nobody cares about me.

Anyways. On to the amazing guest. Today we have the incredible, the talented, the amazing Trace Lissette. Woo! Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me, Queen. Oh, girl. So excited to have you.

I adore you. Same. Same. Same. How are you feeling? How you been? How's life? Oh, my God.

Life has been a roller coaster this past year. For the, you know, for the better, mostly. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm looking forward to some abundance rolling in in 2020. Period. Abundance mindset. Yes. Have to keep it.

Yes. Trace for everyone that doesn't know and why don't you know if you don't know. Trace is an incredibly talented actress and has been in the game for a minute. And you're in amazing movies like hustlers, right? You're in Monica. Transparent. Yes. Very exciting.

Yeah. How was it? I know Monica's your most recent film. Yes, that was my first lead in a feature film. Period. Very exciting. 42. So it took a while to get here, but, you know.

You're 42? I'm 42, girl. Girl, you look good. Thank you. You look good as fuck. It's the estradiol pills. Period. You look good, bitch.

It's the moan. You look my age. I literally thought you were like 30. Oh, I'll take it. I still play 30, so. Yeah, I mean, duh. You can play like mid-20s. I appreciate that.

You know, I tell my agents that all the time. So if you're watching, hello. Well, if they ever make a movie about me, I'll just cast you. Oh, okay. Ask me. There you go in my 20s. That's so, that's honestly, that threw me for a loop. We should do a buddy comedy.

We should. We should be like. Like twins, like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. Oh, that's a throwback. We could be like twins. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That would be so funny because we look nothing alike.

No, I need to go watch that. I've never even seen it either. I just know they're like, ha, ha, one saw one's short. I think I saw it when I was a kid. Period. Yeah. Look at you. Is that what got you?

What, actually, I'll back up. What got you into acting? Like, what made you want to venture into the craft? Oh, okay. So, hmm, how do I make this light and funny? No, it's, you know, I had a rock bottom moment in my mid-20s. Yeah, I was hustling. You know, I was in New York and, you know, I tried to take my life.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It was a girl. I was over a decade ago. And I was just, you know, a lot of things going on. And I had a guy, friend of mine who was a working actor. his name is caribbee fobar he's he's in heaven now but um he was like you're so talented and you can't swing around a pole forever and do whatever you're doing to survive you know i was i was doing what i could with what i had yeah and um absolutely and there and there and there was a

a time when i realized i had to invest in myself again beyond the transition the physical transition and I'm trans guys, I'm here you don't know. You know, so I had to go and like, you know, take the money from spring around a pole and invest into an acting school. And I bounced around at different acting studios and just realized that, oh, acting is picking me back. Like, it was evident in a short amount of time

that the teachers were giving me the feedback that I needed to understand that I could do something else with my life. that I had never dreamed that I could do. And so Carabee is like an angel, you know, he, he, put you on your path that you were supposed to be on. Yeah, we dated briefly and then became friends, but he, he changed my life forever with, with that vote of confidence just saying, like, you know, you're so animated and you're so earnest and there's something about you that could really do well on camera. Yeah. And it's worth it to explore. And so I went to his acting teacher.

And that was the start of my journey back in, oh, God, it must have been 0, 08, 07, I think. Wow. That's so cool, though. Like, what a story of triumph, right? Like, getting on your path in, like, a way that maybe you didn't expect to, but now you know, like, this is what you're meant to do. Yeah. I think it's a beautiful thing.

Yeah. That's amazing. What was your first, like, big, like, big, like, role like for you where you're like man like this is like a thing like oh my gosh well I got cast in this like I don't know if it would be considered a feature it was like a 45 minute low budget action film okay it did premiere on Times Square at a at a like an indie thing yeah um so it played at AMC and it was at this little festival but um and I was the lead but I booked transparent like a year or two after that

and the producer then found out that I was trans because I kind of came out when I got transparent and he shelved the film and you know told me I was a fraud and that's crazy yeah he was he was deeply transphobic I mean this was a different time this was like I think I did that film in like 2011 or 2012 that's fucking crazy. Yeah. That's insane. That's an insane thing to be like,

liar. Yeah. Like, you're like, am I? You bought it, didn't you? Right.

We shot it and people like it. Yeah, that's something like you hired me. Yeah. We're insane. But that's okay. It was pretty low budget. And I don't mind that it's not out there.

But, uh, yeah, transparent was a leap of faith. It was like, yeah. I was still working all over the, with the clubs in New York City and the straight clubs.

And, you know, that's not the safest place for a trans girl. Yeah. But I was like, I'm going to do this because Laverne Cox was one of my good girlfriends. And she had just done orange. Yeah. And that was like blowing up. I mean, she thought it was a web series. Like when I ran into her on the street one day outside of, we had the same doctor

and we got our hormones at the same place. Yeah. And I ran into her one day. She was, I was like, what's going on, girl? Like, what's the latest? What's the two? She was like, oh, I just did this little web series. And I was like, oh, what's it called?

She's like, Orange is New Black. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. I can't wait to see that. And then when it came out, I just like blew up. Yeah. And it was huge for representation than a lot of ones. Oh, my God. That nobody had ever seen before.

It was so huge. Yeah. And I had just done a Law & Order. It got in my union card. And, um... Wait, Law & Order SVU or just Law & Order? It was SVU. Oh, my God.

I love Law & Order SVU. be you. I love that fucking show. I think it was season 15. Girls, the way I'm going to go look for it. I played this, this bitch name Lila. I'm literally going to look it up because I've seen so many episodes of that show and I probably have seen it. Yeah. Honestly. And I just didn't know you at the time. Yeah, I had blonde hair like Maryland, very Maryland. Okay. And it was not a trans role and I hadn't, you know, I still hadn't come out yet. And so when Leverne did that thing, I was like, maybe there's a space for you. for us. Yeah. Absolutely. That was going to be my next question actually. I was going to ask like since you've been in the

in the film industry, TV and film for a while now, like do you have you seen a change or some sort of in a more positive way than it has been? Obviously there's still so much work to be done. But do you see any sort of shift at all? Do you think that it's changed in terms of representation? Definitely. But it ebbs and flows. I mean I think last year was pretty, well, there was strike and it was pretty slow but um you know it does this but it's steadily gotten better yeah i think yeah definitely um and so i'm hopeful and i i'm encouraged uh by people who have kind of hit the main like trans girls who have hit the mainstream like hunter schaefer and lavern you know it's it makes me think okay they see us for more

And like during Monica was very affirming. Yeah. You know, so we'll see. I think too, like there is something to be said about how when they do cast, and this is like for all marginalized identities. Yeah. It's like it doesn't always have to be in a state of trauma or in something that's awful or like, you know what I mean?

Like seeing trans girls be cast in roles that are like not centered around that, I think is beautiful and amazing. I feel like that's a true step in the right direction, like actually, is weighing them just as evenly as you weigh cis actresses, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I would love to be just thought of as another leading lady. Yeah, totally. And I'm trying to bring that energy in.

Yeah. And to just push out the doubters and, you know, because the resume should speak for itself and the work should speak for itself. and it shouldn't have to do with your identity. But for some reason, when we get a big win, it's thought of as like a fluke. Yeah, or like a threat. Or a threat.

Yeah. Or a threat. Instead of a, wow, that's a really unique artist who's had a very unique life experience. And you cannot go somewhere and pay to learn what that person has lived. That's that special sauce that we bring. Yeah.

You know. Absolutely. And I've talked about that a lot on this. show especially too because obviously I have lots of trans friends I have lots of friends in all different kinds of margins of society but we talked about that a lot on the show in terms of like how whenever there is even like an inkling of representation for someone that lives in the margins all the time it's always like and what about us yeah what about straight people what about cis people what about you girl you have more than enough representation shit pick something else

you can close your eyes and scroll and you can find someone that represents you yeah But, like, there are so few, like, so, so, so few. Like, it's even smaller than people realize, like, representation for actresses like yourself who have been in the game for a long time. A long fucking time. Yeah, girl. Like, I want to do a movie with Meryl and, like, you know, I don't know, Michelle Piper. And, you know, I mean, I just, I would love to just fall in with the legends and play.

And, like, show them what I could do, you know, like. Absolutely. You know, I would just, I would love that. I know, I hear a lot of actors talk about imposter syndrome and I'm like, I don't have that. I just have a lack of access. Like, just put me in a game. Yeah. Just give me one chance.

I think, too, like, that's another reason why people like you are so important is because you still, you still get in there. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're still making sure, like, if no one's going to open the door for me and I'll fucking make my own if that's the case. Yeah, that's exhausting. It is exhausting. It is very exhausting.

And even like for me, because I'm just a clown on the internet, but like even for me, in the beginning of my like journey and everything, there was a moment where I was like, I don't think anyone's ever going to work with me because I'm so controversial, like the shit that I do. And more specifically, it's not like standing up to misogyny, obviously. It's like the way I choose to do it.

There were a lot of brands that were afraid to work with me. Really? Oh, yeah, girl. And then for a while, like, I thought I wouldn't even get representation because I, you know, I had the platform. I had more than enough followers to warrant at the time before I was signed to anybody. But no one really hit my line.

And I think that's because they were afraid to represent someone like me because, like, what if I don't bring in any money? Then it's, like, pointless kind of thing. But the agent I have now is the agent that signed me like two years ago. And she was, like, one of the only people that was like, I see, I see. see something like I see something and I she had to really convince them to sign me okay and she told me that after we became friends and like got a lot closer but she really had to sell me because they were like I can't market her to anybody like she's too much she's too loud she's too mean

because they get scared of the respectability politics and the language and the way you're delivering the call-outs exactly and not knowing that that does appeal to the masses a lot of people Yeah, believe it or not. Like a lot of people kind of vibe with it. And then I kind of joke about it sometimes when I talk about it in interviews and stuff. But I'll say like I just got too big to ignore. Like at that point, they had no choice. No choice.

Yeah. So I was like, I'm going and then I'll keep growing. And if anything comes a bit great, if not, at least I'm fucking up men to say. Get on the bus or get left behind. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So Monica, for those who don't know, can you explain the plot of Monica and like what it means to you to have? have played that role, like, in a movie.

Yeah. So the movie is about a trans woman who was kicked out when she was 16 and has lived on her own for a very long time. And her biological mother is now dying and had brain surgery and is suffering from memory loss. and in her last days and she gets a call from her sister-in-law kind of giving her the tea and then she goes home she decides to go home and see what's left

of this situation if anything at all and I think my favorite thing about Monica is that she's this woman who is she knows who she is and she has had this like self-sufficient existence for such a long time.

Yeah. This is not like another transition story or, you know, it's not even about that. We don't even, I don't even think the word trans is in the film. Yeah. And so that's what I love most about it is that it's just, it's not about that. Yeah, it's just about family, like, complicated. It's about family. Like complicated relationships with family.

Yeah. What do you do at the time you have left? Yeah. And maybe there's not, maybe there's not going to be this big resolution. Yeah. Because sometimes life is gray. It's not always black and white. Totally.

It's shades of gray. And yeah, I think that that's one thing that the director, writer, Andrea, did so well was he didn't spoon feed anything for anybody. Yeah. You know. Totally. Yeah. And how was it working on that film? Well, you were, like, as far as like, since obviously as a trans person and you're working

in this role that's like so emotionally taxing too, like kind of going over a very complicated relationship with a parent, like how was that for you kind of living in that role for the duration of filming? I enjoy being in that bubble and that creative bubble. We shot it in Cincinnati in the dead of summer. it was really hot and I love the heat and I love the humidity and I love artists and I love acting

even though it was heavy material I was either naked or crying or both on any given day I just enjoyed the purpose of having to go to set every day because when you're in between jobs you're like what am I doing? Where is the next

gig? Um, so I enjoyed it. It was, it was taxing, of course, and, and cathartic too at times. But, um, but, um, but I, I mean, I have really fond memories of that summer. Totally. Yeah. I've had a, a couple friends on here, too, that I've like, they're actors first. Like, they don't want to be influencers at all.

Like, they want to be actors. And so they've, they've kind of expressed to me how hard it is, like, in between. And that's why they kind of started doing social media. for funzies and even a few of my friends like like one of my girlfriends katelyn riley she was on the show too and she's an actress but she was telling me like i did this because there was no work at the time and then this took off and then now they're kind of sometimes they'll pitch me as like an influencer and i'm like no no no no i'm an actress i'm still an actress yeah yeah she's like i'm still an actress like i did this shit for fun and now it's like it's taking me away from what it is i want to do

um so i totally get because she was telling me i there's just there was no work so i was like well i got do something. Yeah. So she started kind of chipping away at social media. I think Johnny Sibley. Yeah, Johnny Sibley, who's also been on the show, love him. Yeah. My Virgo King.

Similar journey. He did all these characters like Julisa and Megan. And that was, it's not like he wasn't auditioning and looking for work. He was. Yeah. But you got to put that creative energy somewhere. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

especially when it's I feel like there's such long periods I'm sure of like waiting yeah just waiting as I told you I had one audition and they they hit me up eight months later like they initially reached out to me never heard from them again yeah it's always it's always 48 hours or less yeah eight pages of dialogue and you're like I have a life yeah this one like and that the one the one thing they sent me was literally like a paragraph and a couple sentences and that's it Like it wasn't even anything long or hard. And I was like, oh. Well, that's a little better.

Yeah, that's nice. I guess nicer, but I guess not because they didn't pick me. So, so. And that's what like the shit I was auditioning for too was like so under wraps that they, I don't even know what they sent me was just like a description of who I was reading for. Okay. And then the paragraph and then the two sentences and then that's it. And they didn't give me a storyline or anything like that.

and it was for something animated. Well, that reminds me of the Meryl Streep quote where she says, you know, casting sees so little of what you're actually capable of. Yeah. Because the audition process is so far removed from how acting is like on set. Yeah. And some people are great auditioners. Yeah.

And others, if they're extremely sensitive, might not be good at that. Yeah. I'm sensitive to the light and the fluorescent rooms or even like a self-tape sometimes it's just like you know you're having a friend do it and they have to be somewhere and

you know in an hour and like you're just trying to get through it and it's not really indicative of your potential yeah it's not the full breadth of what you're capable of on set that's a really good point and that can be frustrating because then you know people get jobs based off of auditions but yeah totally it might not even be how they bring it on set or vice for you know do they do auditions in person anymore or is it more so just self-tapes and then i haven't had an

in-person auditioned person i haven't had an in-person audition since before the pandemic okay yeah that's what my other friends on the show told me too as far as like being active they were like yeah we don't do in person anymore no and then i'm like oh so wait i don't have to live in l.A so i could live anywhere else i could actually buy a house somewhere Oh, okay. Well, you were also in hustlers. How was that? Well, girl, I watched the Super Bowl the other day, and I thought, oh, I missed my chance with Austria.

That's so funny. How was that experience? It was wonderful. Yeah. You know, in between texts, he was like, how are you doing? What's your ethnicity? Oh, we still ask that. Italian.

And I got real shy. Yeah. You know, this is back before he was booed up. Yeah. And I had a great time on set. Yeah. But I wished I'd been a little more forward with Usher. You're a regret.

I just got shy. You know, there was a lot of people around it. Yeah. I mean, like Cardi and Lizzo. And I had a really good time with them. Lizzo was hilarious. Cardi was so sweet. Yeah. Kiki was a Kiki.

Yeah. She was a Kiki. Yeah. J-Lo was nice and sweet and just I couldn't believe because I've watched her my whole life since that's the way love goes and and Lorraine Scafaria is the director-writer she's a good friend of mine now and it was just the way that set was run was so seamless I love that and it was just a lot of woman energy yeah I was gonna say the girls are going to do it yeah it was just it was no drama Yeah.

It was just so lovely. That's so good. I'm so glad too. Especially with a cast like that, like star power. All of you guys together. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

And no drama. Love that. No drama. Yeah. No drama. That's so, that's so sick. I think that, I think too, like getting to work with women that you've like idolized and you're like, and then you find out they're really cool and they're very talented in person too.

You're like, okay, period. Yeah. It's never. It's really disqualified. disappointing when you meet someone and they suck. You're like, damn, that's a bummer.

I've had some moments like that. Yeah. I won't say who. Yeah, you and me who. But, like, damn,

that's a bummer. Yeah, so now I don't even, I do my best to, like, not hype it up anymore. And when I meet someone, I'm really,

really, really, like, who I've watched forever. I'm just kind of like, okay, I don't know how it's going to go. I'm just going to,

I'm just going to, like, keep the expectations low. Yeah. You know. Yeah, totally. And also,

a certain comedian. Girl, I was cackling. I was mumbling and I was cackling, bitch. That was so fucking funny. As you should. Me and my friends,

me and my, me and my friends are always like, dolls, am I wrong? Am I wrong? I say that all the time. I'm just quoting you. When I say something like,

am I wrong? You ate him up, bitch, period. He deserved a good eating. He sure fucking did, and I didn't even realize that was you in the video. I was, at first when I watched it, I was, I was fucking cackling.

I was like, this is so funny. And then my sister is a big fan of you. She couldn't come today, but she's a huge fan of yours too. And she was like, that's literally Trace. And I was like, no fucking way. I don't know why I didn't put two and two together. Probably because I code switched so much in interviews that like that video was just me being me.

Yeah. That's what my upstairs neighbor, Sahaya told me. She was like, it was so nice also because whenever people see you talking on her interview or something you're so poised and you know you're like you're code switching for people and and that was just trace being trace like the trace we know you know on Sunday at the barbecue like that's that's you yeah literally and um and I was like you're right I guarantee that's why I didn't put it together probably yeah because even sometimes for me like when I do like I did something with Forbes and they recorded it and they would like put put little clips out and stuff some people were

like wow she's so smart I'm like I'm going to tell me able to suck my dick and cock and balls at Forbes. Exactly. But doesn't it say so much about them that they think that we are one thing? That's what I'm saying. When all of the most brilliant people are so layered and have had to be chameleons. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Right? Especially in this industry. And I feel like too, it's such a testament to like how they see women because they're like, oh, like when women are like brash and they're unapologetic and they're fucking conversational. They're always like, a disagreeable woman, right?

But then when they see me talking in other interviews where I'm talking a lot about stuff I really care about, they're like, oh, you know what? She's actually really smart. Girl, you can be both.

I could tell someone to suck my wiener and still be smart. It's okay. You can exist in both worlds. Exactly. Exactly. It's a, it is honestly, it's a luxury to,

if you don't have to code switch so much. Yeah, that's a luxury. that I don't know. Maybe I'll be famous enough one day where I don't have to give a... I know. I know. And you do have to be very cognizant of that,

especially in the industry that you're in exclusively, is because, like, other people may see that and they'll be like, oh, no, because, like, they'll develop a personal opinion and then withhold stuff from you, regardless if you're overqualified for it. Absolutely. Or the right person for it. So you're like, it's like playing the game. Yes.

Which is annoying. I play the game. I try. They're on to me now. You and me both. Okay, so I'll transition, actually. That's actually a good transition into the topic, which is unpacking the TikTok Tradwife trend, which is like traditional wife.

So traditional gender role. No, you're right. Because trade is like someone who. Trade wife. That would be me. You're like, well, I don't want to talk about my. I pass. Okay, so obviously, like, as an actress, right, you've had to take on roles that have highlighted the complexities of, like, modern womanhood, of gender norms, like, things like that.

So, like, this new trend on TikTok is very, I've actually seen a few videos. I've been tagged in a few of them. A couple of men, I've got to fuck up on my list, but, like, they're talking about traditional wives. Like, they're like, how come people aren't like my mom? And I'm like, if you want to fuck your mom, like, unpack that elsewhere, girl. Oh my God. You know, some men are like, do you want to kiss your mom in the mouth? Be honest.

It's very that. Like, I'm sorry I'm not your mom. Yeah. It's like, hey, girl, I'm not your mom. So, and I think your mom's taken. I can be your mommy. I can't be your mom. Yeah.

Sorry. I know. Sometimes that's very weird when they're like, why can't you just act like my mom? Because you have sex with me. That's why. Oh, my God. Maybe I shouldn't be. Right.

Right. Is that a real question? Okay, so there's a couple of videos in here that are applicable to this. So this one is a man, he's reporting a podcast, reacting to a clip of a woman explaining this, like, traditional wife trend. And she explains that it's a trend where women want to return to the domestic lifestyle of caring for the home. Cooking and cleaning for their husband. He works to provide for her. The guy on the podcast says men have been fetishizing this trend because it's their dream scenario.

Which, I mean, yeah, I believe that. to believe that for sure. But women, what? Women want to return to the domestic. My whole thing about that is like, I don't give a fuck if you want to stay at home and cooking clean. You want to be, if you want to be that girl,

as long as you're doing it consensually, go ahead. I don't care. I don't care either. I don't care at all. I just, I don't want to hear what you have to say about me not wanting to do that. Absolutely.

Like, I don't give a shit what you do. Right. I don't care of all, girl. I have a problem with you being traditional. Yeah, not at all. I'm not going to say I haven't had that fantasy one. search-wise. It just didn't work out for me.

So I had to find a skill. You're all I had to develop something. Otherwise, I always feel too, it's very like, it's so like, oh, well, women just don't want that anymore. There are women who do. You just can't force other ones to also do it. Right. Because the conversation they never want to have with me when they talk about gender roles,

I'm always like, well, gender's not real. Did you know that? That's a man-made construction, babe. And every time I talk about that, they're like, What are you talking about? I'm like, so you guys aren't smart enough to have this conversation with me. They're not.

I'm going to tell you to eat my dick and balls. Like that's what I'm, that's the only thing you understand. You don't understand anything else I say. I'm constantly amazed by the comments that I read on the internet about gender roles, about the transphobia that's just flung every which way, particularly by men.

Yeah, girl. And then like, I'll go to their page. And I'm like, oh, your favorite. rappers who because he's in my DM oh your favorite basketball players who oh he's in my girls DMs and she's trans too so your faves they love and your idols are in our DMs and that's a fact that's a literal fucking fact bitch I'm not kidding and you idolize them but you're hating on us maybe take some notes I mean the moment and mark my words I don't know if it's going to be three years from now five years from now 10 years from now once

it becomes cool suddenly to date a trans girl. All those little sheep watch. They're going to have permission. Period. To follow so because they're sheep. Exactly. And you know, you're so real for that because that is not a lie.

So many men in the industry. Oh, I mean, and I'm not talking about, I'm talking about, I'm talking about the biggest of the big. Literally, like the most famous person you could think of. The most famous in whatever field.

Exactly. Who been. Yeah. Rapping. Acting. Acting. Yes. I got my own list.

My girls do too. The DJs. So, tread lightly. Yeah. Listen, I'm not the one to blur out names, but I'm just saying your faves. Yep. They want to lay down with us. And so you look stupid and goofy when you call us men and shit.

Yeah. Because the men you idolize do not think that. They don't. They surely don't, girl. They don't. That's why all my trans, my trans girlfriends let have come on, they've been like, you have no idea who's going. I was like, their minds would be fucking blown.

They would be like, they would short circuit. They really would. They would short circuit. That's what I was like, you, y'all think you know, but you don't. You have no idea. They love the dolls. They do. They love the dolls.

And who wouldn't? Hello? They love the dolls. That's what I'm like, the only reason they don't do it out loud is because it's not socially upset. acceptable and men are very status driven and we are still not a status symbol for men. And that doesn't stop them from fetishizing though. No.

Doing it in secret. At all. And that's all they want. And you know what's funny too is like the, uh, the dolls all talk to each other. So they all know. There's only so many of them. Yeah. They all know girl.

We all know. That's why I, I find that is like the craziest thing to me too because I always think to myself, I'm like, you, if you guys knew. If y'all knew, all of a sudden, like you said, it would be cool. Oh. I mean, if they all just, the biggest of the biggest names, if they all just said tomorrow, like, yeah, I fuck with trans girls. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's my lady.

Oh, whatever. Oh, yeah, I laid out. I blow her back out on Wednesday. It would not, transphobia would die tomorrow. It would. It literally would disappear. Yeah. It would disappear entirely, girl.

It would disappear. I was like, I've said to, I'm like, like you said, a sheep. Like, I'm like, y'all are such. you're so not the man that you think you are. You're so not. Because you're a coward. I'm like you can't even you can't even come out like and I don't know why it's so hard to wrap their head around that concept when it's it doesn't make you gay if that's

what you're afraid of. Right. Like if you're, if you identify as a man and you like trans women, you're not gay. Yeah. So I don't know if that's what you're so afraid of. I don't know why that keeps being a thing. A conversation over and over again. And it's like no matter.

I've tried to tell people like, you know, all my exes, they, you know, they didn't even date other trans girls before me and they went on to cis women after. Like, so it's not like, I don't know, I'm just another kind of woman. Yeah. To them. You're still a woman. That's what I'm saying. Like, they spend too much time thinking about shit that doesn't apply to them or shit that they secretly haven't confronted. And then that's why they feel that they feel so fucking attacked.

And they look like a bugger while doing it. And I'm like, I'm not checking for you. Yeah, relax, bitch. Relax. Yeah, that's what I've said. I'm not checking for you. Now, your favorite basketball, your favorite, your favorite, your favorite rap, maybe him, not you.

Well, and he's checking for her. That's what I mean. Yeah, exactly. And I've even said, I said to people before when they're like, I would never fuck you. Okay, same. Okay, same. Neither would I.

We don't have to even go there. If anything, we have a lot in common because I find you disgusting. So it's like, we have a lot in common, girl. We should be friends. You should be friends. We have so much in common. We could learn a lot from each other. Yeah.

We have common interests. We both find each other abhorrent to look at. So it's a win-win. What do you mean? That's all right. When they say that, I'm like, okay, same. They're like, that's so fucked up to say to me. And that's because men like that literally are like, I don't want to fuck you, but I can't

believe that you don't want me to fuck you. Yeah. Of course I don't. Look at you. Their egos can't handle it. They hate nothing more than hearing, uh, okay, you're ugly. you're like well yeah I would never fuck you either because you're ugly yeah and they're like who the fuck do you think you are saying that to me do you get a lot of hate on social media oh yeah

yeah oh yeah yeah it's it's uh I think a lot of it is um well the trans thing but it's also it's also like this very specific kind of like misogyny like it's transphobia and misogyny and misogyny. Yeah. And then this tornado that it creates. Yeah. Oh, because you have the nerve to be a bad bitch, too. And like, wait, my dick jumped when I looked at you.

And just like, oh, that's just, it just sets them off. Yeah, literally. Or if it's a cis woman doing the hating, then it's just her, her insecurities. It's just throwing at me. Yeah, girl. And I'm like, jealousy's an ugly color on everyone. I promise you that. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Yeah. I was like, you're showing your whole real obviously, girl, because it's like, when I get hate from women, which is like, it's, it's rare compared to men, but I do get quite a lot of hate from women. When I do, I'm always like, I don't know, like, I hope he saw this. Whoever you're hoping will text you back. I hope you saw this. I hope you saw it, girl. I hope you get your, I hope you get a text back. I really do. Yeah. Because like, who's this for? Like, you're on my, you're on my page, girl, you're on my house. Right. And there's just this level of bravery online that they don't have in real life either. For real. Because I'm, you're on my, you're on my page.

and no nonsense bitch. You and me both. And so if you ever wanted it in the street, these hands is nice. What did Carty say? My hands are nice. But no, I had to get off Instagram. After we did our press run for Monica,

I was like, I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'll go on when it was like a paid post or something. But I miss the analog world. Does that sound really old? Am I old? I'm old. I mean, I was born at 81. So I miss the analog world.

Yeah. I really do. And so, I mean, TikTok is a, I feel like I could be wrong. But maybe it's because it's newer for me. It feels a little lighter and funnier. Yeah. But Instagram is just like so much hate. Totally.

It's nasty on there. I was just like someone. And then Twitter got even worse, which I don't even, I don't even use that anymore. Twitter's the scariest one, like, with the worst hate. But I feel like on Instagram, too. it's almost like I talked about it recently because I had posted a reel and it was one I I had had on my TikTok for a while so I just put it on TikTok because it was funny and it wasn't making fun of anyone at all it was like literally just me and my man um being silly and when I

posted that like oh girl it hit the algorithm so it did well I hadn't seen that kind of hate in years I was like well girl what the fuck is going on like there are some nasty ass people on Instagram yeah and the way they find you I feel like a lot of times is through reels which is why I was like what the hell is going on? And it's pretty bad on there. And I feel like I wasn't used to it on that app because on Instagram, you know, you follow who you like. So it's like your feet is so curated that it's never anyone random.

It's always just like who you like and who you know. And so I feel like maybe that's why I was so shocked to see it on that app because I was like, girl, what is going on here? Yeah. So many men found me and they hate me on there too. It's horrible. I think it's just, I think it's this hit of like dopamine that they get. Oh, totally.

That they don't know how to get that in their own lives. So they can just turn into a keyboard warrior. Mm-hmm. Very good at typing. Turn that into a scale shit. Exactly. We'll play for a job, girl. I posted a video a month or two ago, and I was defending like WNBA players, right?

And I was like saying like, if you're a man who couldn't even make varsity in high school, I don't give a fuck what you think about professional women's basketball players, girl. I saw that. Yeah. I was like, I don't care at all what you have. to say. And when I posted that video, obviously, a whole bunch of men under 5-8 were like, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you fucking fatty. They're all mad at me. Of course they are. Which is, that's like, that's their whole thing with me. They hate me.

Um, and so when they started commenting like shit like that, like one of the last things I said in the video was like, um, instead of worrying, instead of worrying about someone else's stats, like, how many days have you been on in the last month? Because you've been laid in last year. Yeah, maybe worry about those numbers, bitch. Like maybe get those up and then maybe we can have a conversation. So I made that joke. And then I had so many men be like, and what does sex have to do with, oh, everything? Because that's why you act that way.

Because you don't get any. That's why you act that way. Yeah, because if you were happy, you wouldn't be up under these videos like you are. If you didn't fucking hate women, you would be getting laid and you wouldn't be so miserable. That's my point. So like, the fact that I had to draw that map for you kind of proves my point, which is like, you're so miserable in your life. You hate yourself.

so you feel like you get this like sense of power by like throwing like posting anonymous hate or whatever on other people's profiles that includes yours and mine yeah it's insane there's a it's an epidemic of men right now that are searching for purpose and it's coming out in weird ways it's coming out in in in a lot of misogynistic ways yeah like I saw like I think there was like that study that came out, I think it was last year, like, 2023, where they said there's like a, like a loneliness epidemic for men specifically. And in the study, a lot of them were talking about how women and anyone else who does not operate within a gender binary are essentially like they're moving on with their lives.

Like they're not like, oh, I hope a man loves me. Like they're still pursuing life outside of men because they're like, all of you suck. I'm going to keep doing what I got to do and being happy. Right. And they're super okay with being alone, whereas men were not counting on that, so they're not okay being alone. Right. And now they're making, that is also our fault. Like, it's like everything's women's fault.

Like, everything is our fault. Like, when you're awful to us, that's my fault for being sensitive. When you're lonely, that's my fault for not dating you. Girl. Yeah. I'm like, it's so hard. Life is so hard for a cis man. Oh.

Oh. So hard. Oh, bad. Oh, baby. Oh, baby Okay, let me read some of the comments on this video This one says Bet she'll look younger, longer

Than all those boss bitches working 17 hour days And hooking up with some stranger on Tinder Huh? Okay, he's saying a traditional wife would look younger longer Because they wouldn't be working And hooking up With some stranger on Tinder That's a very detailed comment

I bet you wish you were hooking up With a stranger on Tinder, huh? Yeah, and I don't know about that one. 17 hours days. I'm like, you know what makes women look like tired or older? Stress. Right. You know who stresses people out?

Men. So you want to talk about whose fault that is? That's probably yours. If they're looking tired, like, especially women who are like their mothers and their wives, and then they have male partners who are not active participants in either the relationship or the kids' lives. she's just doing everything and working. Uh-huh. Yeah, she's going to be stressed.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They want to, like, sometimes when they say that shit about, like, I wish women acted like my mom or whatever the fuck. I'm always thinking, like, your perception of women is so archaic, but also, like, women had no choice for a long time, like, because they couldn't do anything. Like, they couldn't get a bank account, couldn't buy a car, couldn't get a job for so many years.

So the fact that you really think. your great great great grandma loved your grandpa please she probably thought about all the ways to kill him thousands of times she was surviving yeah she was literally surviving like literally that's what i'm like if your great great great grandma had the choice she would not have picked your grandpa i guarantee it i guarantee it bitch she hates him and she hates you i bet you anything so i was like you're so fucking delusional if you think your mom like you're great great like a few generations back when they had no rights at all then he was like oh it was true love true love True love

As they'd hang up this laundry On the prairie Yeah literally I'm like yeah Women were being like abused left and right And never taken seriously when they would report it But yeah I'm sure it was true love I'm sure they loved him

I'm sure they felt that way This next one says The government tricked women into being like men So they can charge more for everything Where now you have to have two incomes To live and double taxes I mean, it is expensive nowadays. But I don't think that's our fault again.

I think that's our fault again. That's called inflation. That's not our fault either. Dude, that's crazy. He's like, that's also women's fault. I'm like, shit, add it to my list. So many things I have to apologize for. The sex one says, if you don't have a trade girl, it's you, wait what?

It's you who are the problem. You're not a provider. Okay. He's saying if you don't have a traditional wife, it's because you're not a provider. You ever run with a man who's a provider? Yes and no. Yes.

Yes. I provided too. Yeah. I mean, why not have two incomes? Yeah. Yeah. That's why sometimes I think too, like men who write shit like that,

sometimes I think I'm like, have you ever been in a relationship with anyone? Right. Because it's not like a, hey, 50, 50, everything. You know what I'm saying? Right. It's very like, I'll pay for this. You pay for it. It's the same thing I do with my.

friends. Like I'm like, I got this meal like next time you got me like, you know what I mean? That's what I'm like, you guys overcomplicate shit. Like, yes. It's not like that. And if someone sits down and he's like, I want a 50, 50 split. Get out of my fucking face. Yeah.

And I don't, I don't, look, I don't mind making you a steak on a Friday evening. Yeah. Once a week. Yeah. And giving you some head when you get home from your long day. If you paying 60% of the bills. Yeah. I don't mind.

But I just don't want to be locked. in the box. Exactly. That's literally what I'm saying. I'm like, you know what's crazy is that your wildest dreams of what you perceive to be in women, like what you would love from them, they'll happily give you without you having to ask as long as you're not an asshole. Like, if you're a good person and you provide equal footing in the relationship, you'll live the best life you've ever had. She'll be the best partner you've ever fucking had. Because women stay with men who are fucking awful.

I don't know how they done it. Okay. We've all been in our early 20s before and I've done that too. I know. I've kind of talked about it. I was like there's always one, one specifically where you're like, oh man,

my eyes were completely close. What was I doing? Yeah, yeah. You're like, my eyes were shut, bitch. Like I wasn't.

I was like, I was dignitized. Something was going on. I know. Even I have one. I have one where I was literally like, when I look back, I'm like,

girl, what the fuck? Like, I plead temporary and, sanity because what was wrong with me? Did you ever shake your purse? Did you ever like give them money for something? Oh no no no no no I never gave money but it was more so like there were so many glaring red flags and I was like oh I can't see anything I'm like oh you know immediately and now looking even then like my friends who had dated some of the weirdest worst people ever like we all we all like

would joke about it like they all had their phases with like random dudes where I'm like he He sucks. But they just, like, we're like, I know, but like, ah, I want to, I want to see with him so bad. Which, fair. You know what I mean? As long as everyone's honest, right? Yeah. So my friends and I would joke about it all the time, but my, I never really had anyone

like that at the time. Like, the men that I were dating, they were like, okay. But that one, my friends are like, hey, girl, um, yeah. Are you being stupid on purpose or what's going on? Right. Your friends are always right. Yeah, your friends are always right. So you can just, you know, not wait.

the time and listen to them. Yeah. Or you can waste another year. Oh yeah, girl. You know. And the reason why I found, what I found out about him, I was, I was the other woman. He was in a very serious relationship and I was just like a fling. But I did not know.

I had no fucking clue at all. She probably didn't know either. Oh, no. She had no idea. And he, like, when I didn't even like, I was like, I'm not even going to dignify this bitch with like an explanation. I'm just going to cut it off. Like I was just like, I don't owe you shit.

So I'm just not talking. to anymore. Yeah. And then when he did reach out to me, he's like, also like I don't like, I'm not with her. Like, you know, like we're just like co-parenting because like he told me she was about to have a baby. And I was like, hey, I'm 21. I'm not going to be a stepmom.

Are you out of your fucking mind? Like, I mean, congrats, but I'm out. Like, what the fuck? And he was like, oh, yeah, no, like, she's going to me, whatever the fuck. Again, me entertaining the shit and like listening to it for way too long. too long. Like, I was just like being a friend kind of, kind of shit, but not. And then I got a call from her one day.

Did you? Yeah, like at two in the morning. And she told me she hacked his iPad in order to get my phone number because he used to text me all the time, but I have a boy name. So she thought I was a boy. So she thought I was a boy. She's like, who fuck are you texting all the time? And he's like, oh, it's my friend Drew.

So she thought I was, I was like, oh, friend. Oh, friend. Oh, friend. Wow. I don't do that with my friends, but. Wow. She called me and she talked to me, but she wasn't mad at me. She just, like, wanted to know the truth.

Yeah. And she had asked me, like, you know, do you live in this place specifically? And I was like, no, but my friend does. And then she had told me the night, the very first night we met, he, like, slept, he slept over at my friend's house with me, then went home. And then when she said, what the fuck were you doing over there? Because he has no business being over there. And he was like, oh, I was just. hanging out with my friend and I got drunk and fell asleep.

Like he created this whole story. But she told me she she sneakily put a tracking thing on his phone and that's how she knew he was there. Oh, why do we have to do all that though? I know. I said, girl, you're doing all that shit. What are we doing? If you have to do all that, it's already.

It's gone, girl. Let her go. Give her back to God. I did. Yeah, exactly. So I literally encouraged her. I was like, fuck him. We're better than that.

We deserve better. You and I. Me just empowering her. Exactly. I had one wife called me respectfully like that. Coming to you as a woman? Yeah. She was like, yeah.

And I was straight up with her. Yeah. But I've also had bitches call me out of pocket too. At first I thought maybe that's what it was at first. But then she started crying and I was like, okay, well, she's not. Yeah. She's not trying to like step to me. She's just trying to like get the answers.

But I'm like, even then she would ask, she was asking me like really detailed. She's like, oh, like, can you tell me? And I even told her, I was like, I don't think you want to hear that stuff. I wouldn't if I were you. Exactly. You don't want to hear it. I'm telling you right now. You don't want to know that I'm a dream either.

Well, can you say that? Because that's going to send you in a whole other spiral. Have you withheld that too? Yeah, I'm like, I'll spare her that. Oh, that's really nice of you. Yeah, I'll spare her that. That's really nice of you. That's crazy.

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. It's just, you know, because I, look, I didn't know about you either, bitch. Yes. So don't call my phone. Crazy.

No, same. That's what I told. That's the first thing I told her. I was like, I had no idea. Like, I didn't. And as soon as he told me, I was out. But what he told me is not what you're telling me. Because what he told me was that you guys were just like good friends and all that type of shit.

Turns out she was living with him the entire time. So I was like, oh, I love that. Because they were a couple for 10 years prior to that. And I was like, oh. Oh, nice. Love that. Wow. But there were lots of signs before that, which is why I was like, okay, my eyes were shut completely.

That's on me. But that's just because I was like, it was, it was obvious shit too. Like it was, I would invite him out and he would never want to go. But at night he would want to come to me. Oh, yeah. But he would never let me go over there. He only wanted to come to me only at night. Telltale.

Yeah. That's what I was like. Telltale signs. Those are like so obvious. That's such obvious signs. It's so funny how early. on we get that little spitey sense in our gut and then we ignore it usually until like our mid 30s and then you hit a breaking point and you're like I can't do it anymore uh you know and now I have to

find the will to go on a date I have to find the will I have to pray about it I have to take an energy drink for real I have to meditate yeah my my sister she's uh she's kind of dating but she she's she's gay So she, when she was talking to me, she was like, yeah, like, I don't know, like, she had said something about dating and I was like, well, girl, dating men, I feel like, I was like, if you liked men, you'd have a ton of dates. They'd just be with the worst people you've ever, hot garbage. Ever seen in your life, like, both personality and looks, like they'd be awful. It would be awful, girl, like, count your blessings in that sense. I was like, it would not be better if you liked men. The amount of nights I've stayed up and prayed.

that God would make me a lesbian. This just not happened for me. And I've tried. You'll be both. I have tried. Yeah. Sometimes someone once on my tour asked me, she was like, oh, like, because I've talked about how like I've like had a visceral hatred for men running through my bloodstream

for a long, as long as I can remember. And I was like telling her, I was like, yeah. And obviously, based off my content, you all can tell that. But she had asked me like, did you ever think that maybe you liked women? And I said, yeah, I did. In college, I was like, maybe I, maybe I like women. maybe I'm going to try it to women. And she was like, well, how do you know for sure?

And then I was like, because I tried it. And it didn't work. Yeah. And then when I did it, I said, fuck. That means I like men. Yeah. I gave it a good old try to. Yeah.

It's just not the same for me. That's why I was like, that's how I know. It's not a choice. Okay. Well, we've talked about a lot of things. So many things, but especially how much we hate men, period. But back to the point of view, obviously being an actress. What would you say is your best piece of advice

for not just women in general, but trans girls too, who are trying to get into the industry and really want to be an actress and whether it's TV, film, do you have any really good advice for them or any pearls of wisdom you want to share? There's two things. If you can do anything else, do it.

But if you really want to act, lean into the things that make you unique. because there are so many talented people out there. And in certain rooms, you know, it's going to be like a lottery. So you really got to lean into what makes you, you. Yeah. And bring that to bring that to the role. Totally.

Because people will see that. And people innately gravitate towards authenticity. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for coming on the episode. I adore you. I adore you. You're amazing.

You got a key in real life too. Oh, I would love that. Period. Well, bring Johnny. Okay. We'll all have a girl's night out. Absolutely. Absolutely true.

And that's a real offer. I'm being dead serious. Okay. I said it online so you're all witness to me. So if Trace doesn't hang out with me, you guys saw it. It's an honor. You are a real life superhero to me. Oh, thank you.

I appreciate you. So you are also a hero to me. I'm fucking in awe of you. I can't wait to keep watching you ascend. It's going to be awesome. We'll be at the Oscars together. We will be interviewing you. Let's claim it.

There you go. Let's claim it. Speak it into existence. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me. I love you. You're amazing.

Thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show. Before we go, where can everybody find you? Ooh. Just at Trace Lissette on all socials. Period. Do you have anything you want to promote? Oh, there's a movie called Dope Queen. that is looking for a home.

And so just be on the lookout for it. Period. How exciting. Okay. Thank you so much to Trace for coming on the show. Thank you all for watching. Make sure you all go follow Trace on literally everything. She's a superstar and she's going to continue to be a megastar.

And make sure y'all watch her movie, Monica, which is already out. And it's incredible. So make sure you all go see it. Thank you so much for joining us this week. Don't forget the comment section episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming plat. but the video lives exclusively and for free on Spotify. Thank you again to my amazing guest. Thank you to all of you and I'll see you next week. Bye