The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - FAKE WOKE & JACK HARLOWS | Drew Afualo ft. Dom Roberts | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 12

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew has Dominique on this week as they chat the status quo’s fetishization of women of color, Chris Evans, and Jack Harlow! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Dom Roberts: https://www.instagram.com/domrobxrts  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Who's always at the root of that problem? Men, always. M? Let me get an M. Yeah, let me get an E. E. Like truly. What does that spell? Not shit.

Hey y'all and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your girl, your favorite, the one and only. Today I have one of my OGs, my A-1 since day one. Dominique Roberts. Woo! Who, who, who, who, who, who. Honestly, period. I'm so happy to have you.

The honor is all mine. Let's start there. For those of you who don't know, Dom was literally not one of the first person to ever ask me to be on a podcast. I did. I begged. Yeah. I braveled.

I said, babe, please. I literally saw your DM and I was like, yes. Immediately yes. And that was one of the best episodes I've ever recorded. Oh, that's so sweet. Start of rock and roll history. Start of it all. School of Rock.

Literally. I was so, like, it's so full circle. My mom was saying that earlier. She was like, so full circle. It is the most full circle moment because now I'm on a casual movie set. Yeah. Don was like, I knew. She said I knew.

I know a baddie when I see one. I peeped it from the jump. Yes. We both knew. And honestly, it's an honor. I fucking love you, bro. Dude. No, because you know I'm obsessed with you.

Same. I like stay literally in your comment section. I know. I'd be running rampant in that bitch. And it's crazy because you and I, I was just on your podcast like a little more than a year ago. Yeah. Look how time flies. Look how time flies. It has been 10 years since that last time.

A hundred. No, really. This is our last ride. We're over the hill now. Our reunion tour. Our reunion tour. Yeah, it truly is. Normalize a reunion tour.

I'm with it, honestly. I'm with you on that. Dom is truly an icon of legend on Instagram specifically, but also she's branched into all the other platforms. You know, I'm just trying to spread my wings and fly. You're so amazing. I'm just trying to let my freak flag fly through the wind, baby. I know, and I truly have so much fun talking to you because you're so funny.

But you're also so smart, and I stand a smart bitch. I love me a smart bitch. A smarty knows a smarty. Mm-hmm. Period. And that's why I love talking to you too because you have such nuanced takes on stuff too, which I love talking about shit like that. With anyone,

especially a bad bitch. A bad bitch who talks her shit. I know. We haven't even known each other that long. But it feels like literally sisterhood. From jump. Like like diapers. Yeah.

Like we've known each other since that for so long. I like edit photos of us like in diapers. Literally. I was a big baby. Were you a big baby? Oh, I was thicky. Really? I was thicky, thicky.

I was like nine pounds or some crazy. Me too. Look at that, twins. Twin. I was literally almost 10 pounds. I was nine pounds, 12 ounces. But the craziest thing, so I'm like half Asian. And my mom's 411.

And I just ripped through her. Just literally ripped through her like LeBron James. Like popping out of her. Yeah, I was just telling someone this too, like my mom's 5'3. But my dad's 6'6. So, you know, real rolling dice on how big. kids are going to be. My dad's like 6-3-6-4 and my mom's 4-11. Perfect. Look at that. Look at our parents I know. She loves a tall king. Do we have the same parents?

Guys. Do you have something to tell us? The sisterhood of traveling. I know. I was like I was just telling someone the other day like my sister is literally 5-4, my older sister and then I'm six feet tall and then my brother's like six feet and a quarter, six one. Yeah. So there's a little jump. Little. Little. wireless raising the bar. That's the three of us. We just got taller and taller. Thank God. I thought my brother was going to be short. Oh, yeah. For a minute, I was like, oh, buddy, might have to develop a personality really early on. Short King Spring.

It's kind of trending right now. You know what? I'm okay with the Short King. I'm okay with a Short King. I recently have been dating Short King. Oh, look at you. Don't know what that's all about. Well, you're like, I would say average size, like five wise. I'm like five, six. Yeah. I was going to guess five. Okay, I mean, actually I'm like 5, five and a half, but I lie on my dating profiles and say I'm 5,6. Yeah, round up. Yeah. It's a half inch.

I feel like guys who are like 5.5 will be like, well, I'm 5 5, too, so we can be together. And I'm like, eye level. Yeah. Well, see, I'm a big bitch. So I like, I need a bigger dude. Like, that's just me personally. In my opinion. Like, my boyfriend's tall.

So he's taller than me. So when women, or women especially, but like when they meet me in public, Like, damn bitch, you're tall. The first time I met you, I was like, Hey, great! Yeah. For some reason, people think I'm a tiny little girl. I don't know why.

I just thought, I didn't think you would be so tall. Yeah, literally, everyone's like, you are so much taller than I thought you would be. I always wear heels or platforms too, so that doesn't help. Yeah. But when they find out how tall I am, they're like, if that's how tall you are, how tall is your man? Because he makes me look small.

He makes you look binny, girl. I'm like so tiny. If you look small, girl? Like a little polypocket. Pick you up. So it's actually a really great transition into what we're going to talk about. But before we get into our topic for today, for those of you who don't know, what we do here on the comment section show is we take videos from TikTok that I've been tagged in. We bring them here and I like to say we just rip them up.

Riven to shreds, make fun of them, talk our shit. You know. You know the deal. You and I do it privately. We do it privately, but now we're about to do it publicly. Yeah, exactly. So for this week's topic today, we're going to talk about fetishization. specifically when it comes to women, like men fetishizing women of color or black women or all of the above.

Thank you for calling me in because I've been dying to speak about it. Okay, good. I've been dying to speak about it. I'm so glad because obviously you're actually both. Oh, yeah. You're a black and a woman of color. You're both. And I'm a woman of color, so here we go.

Can we get it? No better sources to ask than I think. The source. So when I talk about fetish, specifically fetishizing women of color and black women, what are your thoughts initially. Well, the definition of a fetish is like the sexual arousal towards an action or an animate object. Yeah. And so the weird thing is, is when people fetishize, like women of color or like any bipoc, that's not an animate object. Yeah. You know, like that's a human being. Yeah, like a sentient person. Yeah. When I, the most common one that people think of,

that comes to mind or that I think of that's very like stereotypical that I feel like but a little less frequent to see is like those creepy old white guys who are like my nubian chocolate Gouda bomb

bomb gel good just all these things Hershey chocolate kiss bar let me eat you up let me take you home let me put you in the freezer my Snickers bar you know what I'm saying like they be saying the crazy I'm like bro

bro where did that shit come from you know what I'm saying they're comparing you to an inanimate object yes but I think the more common one that we see and we are that people are less likely to call out because it's a little more normalized especially on TikTok I see the most on TikTok yeah is little old golden retriever Connor yeah with his little Jerry Curl perm that he that his mother Marissa did in the house and he he he takes a TikTok in his bedroom knee goes, I love a black queen. Yeah. Every other queen, dead to me. A black queen, though, she rises. And I'm like, yeah, that's a fetidization. It is. Yeah, and it's disguised as like a compliment.

Because it's performative admiration. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the perfect way to describe it. Like, you want the clout of saying that you love black women. Yeah. But if you actually just loved black women, you wouldn't need to shout up for the rooftops.

You wouldn't need to say it. Because you would just love black women. You wouldn't need to tattoo it on your forehead, like a sign. Yeah. Just in case you guys didn't know. Exactly. This guy. You know what I mean?

Come find me. And they know. I think the saddest part of it all is like these guys, I'll just label them Conners. You know, this is the best way to put it. We all know. Yeah. We know what we're talking about here. They know how to prey on the insecurities of women of color.

Yeah. And they know that from birth, like we're told. like you're not equivalent. Like you aren't the beauty standard. Like, you know, like the colonizer set the beauty standard at an early age. So we're having to build up our self-confidence and, like, believe in ourselves. And they play on that. And they play on that.

And we fall in victim. Yeah, no, it's true. It's very true. Especially the biggest thing would be any sort of, adhering to any sort of Eurocentric beauty standards. So whatever it may be, like, contouring your face to look smaller, getting work done to have like a tinier nose, a tighter jaw line, higher cheekbones, like things that are not natural to your specific ethnicity. Yes.

So like for me, like I have a very round face. Like I have a super round face and all these like shithead dudes with no show by the way. I have a show you don't. Let's remember that. Let's keep that front of mind. Okay. Is they always try to say things like, oh like you look so fat. You look so whatever like from whatever angle.

But I just have a round face. Yeah. There's quite literally nothing wrong with that. And I said, and this round face is paying the bills, bitch. This round face is in Hollywood, bitch. And where the fuck are you? Yeah, where your ass was at when we would count in all the stacks? I would like to know.

Nowhere to be found. So, yeah. Exactly. But, like, the point you made about men who kind of put it on this pedestal as opposed to, like, you can always tell. I can always see right through it. especially when they specifically date a certain race. Like they go out of their way to date a certain way,

a certain race for whatever reason. And them saying like, oh, I just really like them. That's weird. It's giving me fetish mama. Yes. And they try and disguise it with like, no, like I just am really attracted to like these types of features, like these kinds of things. And I'm like, that's a fetish bit.

Yeah, it's giving fetish. Yeah, it's giving fetish this. So we agree then. So we're on the same page. Exactly. And I think that so many people, you know, especially women of color, who are like younger and like more susceptible and like haven't had as much time to like build up their like confidence and like just believing in themselves and being like, yeah, like I actually am beautiful despite like what the world has shown or said to me. Stand up. Because when I check the comment section then of a man talking about like, love a black queen, yeah, got a.

Buzzcutt, Jack Harlow effect, all this. They have the comment section, too, being like, oh, my gosh, do you like black girls? Oh, my gosh, do you? I'm like, babe. We got to be a united front. Yes, I'm like, babe, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed for you. It's kind of like, for me, like, I'm someone.

So, like, I'm Pacific Islander. So typically speaking, the conners don't come knocking on my door. Yeah. Never. The only times they have is when they thought I was Latin. And that's a whole other kind of fetish. Yes. Like they literally like, ooh, me gusto.

Like, I literally had a dude coming to me and starts trying to speak Spanish to me. I said, are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? And he's like, yeah, like, I love, I love Latinos. I go, I mean, me too, but where they are? Because she ain't here. I was like, I'm not Latina.

Yeah. Like, it's just the confidence. Yeah, yeah, it's audacity. No, truly, like, with no fact checking. Like, wouldn't you want to ask me, my name is. Yes. The ball. What's your first and last name? Before I really run this game.

First last in, where did you grow up? Your city of origin. Yeah. Run me that 23 and me. I really want to check something really quick. Exactly. Yes. I think it's for Samoan people like, you know, the Connors don't really flock to me. But for Samoan men, it's a lot different. So like my boyfriend's a Samoan man. handsome, objectively speaking, good-looking dude, right? The older white women,

pussy in the wind constantly. I go, I'm like, I'm just trying to eat the cheesecake factory. I don't want to see this. Don't make me bear a witness to this. They don't care. They'll say the most out-of-pocket shit. It's bizarre. If there's one thing an old white woman will do,

she will not have an ounce of shame. That's one thing that none. None at all. And it's like, it's almost like they're operating under this. Well, he's never going to want to be with me. So I'm just going to, I'm just going to throw it all out there. Throw my hat and that ring, see what happens. Yes.

You know what I mean? And it's, they say the most, and it's very, it's giving me very much fetish. Oh, yeah. It's so creepy. Almost to where it's like, and I think that really ties into the fact where they think, well, we should be complimented by it. Exactly. Yeah.

Like, because the world has, you know, we say it. So I say it so often at least. Or I'm just like, yeah, I've grown up believing that like, you know, society's treated me less than because of like how Western society and their beauty standards are ran. Yeah. So they're just like, well, haven't you been complaining about being less than? So if I call you a chocolate new being queen, shouldn't you be honored? Yeah.

Shouldn't you be thankful? You're telling me you don't like that? You're telling me you don't like that. Isn't that what you, you black people have been asking for this whole thing? time and I'm like you're like no no not once have we asked for that

never ever have I thought how kind to be compared to a Hershey's kiss bar yeah it's not a compliment that's what always and I think too like for I think this happens for a lot of races too but specifically for Samoa and men the fetish

revolves around them being so big like big and strong and tall and athletic and it's like I've seen women like in college too you know What's the equivalent of a Connor less Stacy? Stacey. Yeah, like they literally only date Polynesian football players

because they're like, they call them Jersey chasers. Right? Because they're trying to secure a bag. They're trying, I mean, flip that the other way too. Like, I feel like there are so many girls growing up who are like, I just want a little mixed baby. Oh, yeah. I just want to.

Yeah, like someone's like, oh, like I just want big athletic kids. Yeah. I'm all, your jeans aren't going to help with that. You got to get two of us. One and two of you, that's half a chance. That's 50-50, babe. I know, just the smallest little shodby with like a big dude. I've like hardly ever had, well, no, I've been fetishized before, but it was more so when they picked the wrong race.

But even when they did find out, they'd be like, what do you like Hawaiian or something? And I'd be like, no. And they're like, what are you? And I say, I'm someone. They're like, that same thing. but it's not. It's just also the disrespect. Yeah, it's truly like a dismissal of your nationality, heritage, anything, whatever you call it, ethnicity.

Which is like more proof to the fact that you genuinely do not care about the culture of which I hold. Yeah, literally at all. They're just like looking, using their eyes. Yeah, they're like. Yeah, they're like. This is like what I see on mine. That's literally all they're doing. Them being like creepy bitches.

Right. Okay. So we're going to get into this. first video that I got tagged in, right? So I just like to give summaries. So this is a white man, and he's very aware. I'm pretty, I think I've seen, I've definitely seen this video, but you probably have to, because I saw it go viral. But he's very aware of the intricacies of a woman of color's hair routine, namely a black woman. Right. So he pulls out like all these like extra bonnets he has like shows like he has silk pillowcases, um, you know, to fight the friction when

you sleep and make your hair more manageable in the morning. So it's like, it's super like he's, I think if I remember correctly, he was very like, whatever you need, queen, I got you. Just like the exact video you were making up. It's like, whatever you need, queen, I got you. I got you covered. So like, what's your like knee jerk reaction to that? Babe. First off is giving ran through. Yeah. You a hoe. That's what it sounds like. You went in a Sally's beauty supply. I have like an emergency kit. How you have an emergency bonnet kit? Yes, like one of those like doomsday kits.

And also reparations send me one. How? He has one of those doomsday kits but it's just for only for black women. It's just bonnets. It's just bonnets and leaving conditioners. Just for the end of the world. That's it. But also like doesn't that mean you're specifically dating only black women?

Well, and also like once again and goes back to you want the clout. Yeah. Of just being like, yeah, I know what a bonnet is. Yeah, I know it's not a chef's hat. I know it's a bonnet. Like, no, really, because that's how they be acting. Like, that's really how they be acting. They're like, yeah, I'm woke.

Yeah, yeah, it's like that fake woke shit. Yeah, where it's really, it's like a performative admiration. Yeah. And the sad thing is people will fall for it. They fall for it and you will have a whole entire platform. Well, and then you have people who are not black. chiming in and being like, this is sweet. Why do you guys have to ruin everything?

Chiming in on behalf of the people that he's trying to target. Babe, no one was talking to you. You're not in the conversation. Don't put yourself in there. Don't, but they love to do that. Yeah, yeah. They love to add themselves. They love to add themselves to the conversation.

No, and that to me is just like right then and there. I'm like, if we want to like move forward as a society and just see like these standards and like these beauty standards, and I have a very hopeful take towards us growing and becoming better and also like obliterating like those standards that we're seeing today.

And I think that they're going to go away because of, you know, this show and like having these very real conversations about this is actually red flag. Yeah. I'm waving my imaginary red flag in the air. Literally. And calling it out.

Yeah. And yeah. And I think like the more active we are, about having this conversation and calling it out when we see it. It's only just going to help, like, educate and prepare people for, like, yeah, this is what you're going to see. Yeah, because I'd hope, I'd hope that sometimes there's no ill intention when you post stuff like that, although sometimes, like I said, I think it's just for clicks and views sometimes.

But sometimes I think that they genuinely believe that that's a compliment in which if someone's got to beat it out of you, I will. You know what I mean? It's going to be mean, Tom. If I have to beat that out of your head, then I will. Whatever gets you helps you learn the lesson. It's going to get Bad Girls Club Miami. So the comments on this video are really funny, but like the first one says this is Chris Evans' fault.

This is right even there. Chris Jaquharamaris Evans, Dequamarius Evans. They made him an honorary black person. Yeah. Let's stop with that. Chris Jaquarius, stop. Well, and I always think. You know what's so funny, because I know you relate to this too.

Show me the proof. Date a minority bitch. Take her on that red carpet. Prove it to me. If that's the case, prove it. Captain America, listen up if you're watching this. It's not enough to flirt with Lizzo. Put your money.

We want the sex tape. No, I'm just kidding. Put your money with your mouth. When they say like, oh, yeah, like you see them flirting or whatever, like what other, I forget. whether white dudes they'd be saying that about, but like, Jack Harlow. Oh, yeah, that's a great one. Yeah, like, right now.

I'm like, show, show me the proof. I want to see you out with one of them. I want to see you out with a black girl, any sort of minority girl, indigenous girl. Just anything. Asian girl, you name it. You name it? You name it? Prove it to me.

We just want to see something. Like, do you ever see, like, white male celebrities that are like, let's just say Harry style? for example. And someone who's universally loved, everybody's like, he's so hot, I love him, I want him, blah, blah, blah. Do you ever have this conversation with your other minority girlies

and you're like, I don't know, does he date brown bitches though? I don't know. Every day. Every day. I talk about that with my sister all the time. I'm all. I don't think he's up with brown girls.

I really know. It's a point of conversation. It is. But like, it's so weird that we even have to wire our brains to just be like, whoo? Is it worth it?

Let me work it. You know what I'm saying? And we're like, I don't know. I don't know. Is this worth my fantasy crush? Because what if he doesn't date women who look like me? I truly think that all the time. Oh. That's why I said, prove it to me.

Prove it. So I was a Nick Jonas girly, and I always say, too, I think I knew deep down that he was down for the brown. I think I knew. It's almost, it's something about the way that they just, it's something. It's in the bloodstream or something. You can feel it. The same way you can feel it. it's not the case. It's a vibe. Yeah. It's the same way you can feel it's not the case. Or if it's like an act.

Like for example. Channing Tatum. Okay. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. An energy. It's an energy. Yeah. Like you feel like he is or is not? I feel like he. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. He's kind of a question mark to me. He's a question mark. But Chris. Chris Evans? No. I'm like, what, you got a buzz cut once, babe? You went to the barbershop one. A high fade.

A high top fade. One time. Yeah. One time. Yeah, him, I never thought so either. No. I never thought so either. And it was that little, that video of him and the ones of him flirting with that one really

beautiful reporter. Yes. Yeah, I saw that. I'm like, it's not enough. That's why I said, it's not, give me more. I need more concrete evidence. That is where the, that's how the bar is that much on the, it's literally, it's not even found in hell.

Well, see, and isn't that, isn't that sad? because we've been conditioned to believe that that's never the case. So on the off chance that someone who's like a mainstream celebrity is down and like open to dating women just because he likes them, it doesn't really matter. But it ends up being a minority woman. People are like, isn't that so sad? Like people are like, oh, I'm so excited. But like when they date other white people, it's like, oh, okay.

Yeah. Like, well, yeah, it's like expected almost. Yeah, I'm just like, okay. It's like a shocking twist. if that's not the case. Yeah, I'm like, okay, I see you. We're rocking with Mark. Yeah, because Mark's rocking with us.

Yeah. Okay, this next one says, y'all gave this non-black person 100K likes for being knee-deep in black business. Corny. Was that you from your burner? Yeah. I was going to say anything, but yeah.

You know that was me. All right, fine, it was me. Yeah, I was like, the jigs up. You got me. Red-handed. No, seriously. Wait, exactly. Yeah.

I'm like, first off, you're in black people's business. Yeah. Shut up. And is it even really real? Is it even really real? Yeah. Because if it was real, okay, let's paint a picture.

Yeah. If I was dating this man and like, let's just say he actually had those bonnets on deck for me. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, look at my bonnets. Like, I take care of my girl. I would be like, put it away. Delete that. I don't want to see that.

I don't want to see it. Don't come by my house no more. I am literally like, you have embarrassed me love in front of all these people. Yeah, I'm saying that I'm embarrassed love. Yeah. Don't tag me. Don't tag me. Remove me from that grid.

And let me add one more other point. Yeah. What's so funny is you will see these men literally be like bonnet king, like whatever. I'm going to call them Bodic Kings. These bonnet kings We'll literally be like, yeah, I love a black woman from infinity to infinity And then you go through who they follow

All white girls I've seen that White bitches Like have you heard of Yiddies on TikTok Yes So she and she was every time they're like Oh I love I love a big girl

I love a thick girl whatever And then she goes to their following And they're only following Scalons and she's like Factor Cap That's what she says cap It's cap It's literally getting cap

I'm like Yeah, it's true. That's why, like you said, performative adoration. Literally. More than anything. This next one says, not the community bonnet. I thought that, I thought that too. I was like, you just relent people use them.

Just use, no. Do you take care of them afterwards? Or did you buy them all for this video? Yeah. All brand new. And then return them after. This last one says, because a lot of y'all are easy when it comes to white guys. Well, now we've taken a turn.

Yeah. I'm taking a turn. Who's y'all? Is that you using it? Who's y'all? And here's the other thing, too. I think, like, the biggest thing to acknowledge is, like, don't place the blame on the black woman in, or just any woman of color in the comment section.

Exactly. Who is feeding into the attention. Exactly. Because think about how we've been treated. I think that all the time, too. If, you know, if you neglect someone, if you tell them, like, you know, I, and this is just very real, at least for. my experience. This is just me being very

open and honest. I think a lot of women of color would hate to admit this, so I will. Don't worry y'all. I'll live in for us. Don't worry. I'll do it. But you actually do go through, I think very early on. For me it was when I was like 16, 17,

grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. So if there was a guy who was white who did give me minuscule ounce. rain drop drop ounce of attention, I would eat that shit up like a sugar cookie because to me I was like finally I'm being validated. Yeah. And then it's just like when you become older, you start to think for yourself and you have access to like resources and you're able to like

see yourself as a beautiful person like you know, outside of their validation. Outside of what society tells you and like you build up your own self-worth. Yeah. Yeah. Now if someone comes at me with some crazy shit, get out of my face. No, not me. I don't like you. And it's true.

I mean, it's true for like many, many, many women, I'm sure. But especially, obviously black women too, I can't even imagine. But like minority women in general, like it, we've all been held to the same beauty standard, like the men that we've been, we've seen growing up that are like the hot ones. Yeah. attracted to or like been told like oh this person's attractive typically speaking they never especially in media end up with women who look like me or you never they always it's giving me Hannah Montana you know what I mean like those are like the women that they always end up with so of course like

you think okay well that's the pinnacle of beauty like that's what I should strive for because that's what they're looking for and I like them so exactly and I think it's just a vicious cycle yeah and this comment so interesting because it's like, well, y'all are so white man. But it's really like, no, but let's like flip the table and really like look to the men who are like, why is it that way?

Yeah, and it's just like you guys are the ones abusing your power. You know what? It is a power dynamic. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like you hold the privilege to set the standard of beauty. Yeah, literally. You know, like it's, I think you see this probably a lot on TikTok, but

this is a little more different. off topic. But it's even like the same guys who are like, we got to protect this one. We're going to protect this one girl. Like they, so then all, then it's like you see all the other guys commenting like, this is my dream girl. This is like blah, blah, blah. So it's just that power dynamic of they set the standard of beauty and what's accepted. And in the same vein, but obviously not, like you said, it's kind of off topic. Like that's why with pick me girls, like people are like, you should drag women too. And I always go, why? You guys do that enough. Yeah. do that enough for me. You don't need my help with that. Do you? I was like, you are

25-8 round the clock doing it. So you don't need my help for that. One. And two, like, am I ever going to drag women the same way I drag men? No, I've said that many times. But at the same time, I'm not going to save them. You can't save everybody. I tried. I tried, girl. I try to throw you a life raft. I'm on your side. We're on your side. Yeah, but at the same time, I feel sorry for her because I know why she's like that. Exactly. But unlike me, like I've took the steps to unlearn the internalized misogyny that we're all born with and ingrained with when we're raised inside a patriarchal society. Yes. We all have it inside us. We just have to work it out. It's your job to unlearn it. Exactly. And just internalized racism and misogyny,

like both combined. And it's a daily practice. It's literally like hearing those thoughts. Like, you know, if you see something and your instant thought is like a misogynistic one, it happens. Yeah, yeah. For you to like be like, wait, why did I just think that? Like, you know, and you come to the root of like where that belief came from exactly like that's how you put in the work to create like change within yourself yeah because i just think a lot of them don't know where to start yeah exactly and who's always at the root of that problem man always m let me get an m yeah yeah seriously like truly what does that spell not shit that's like truly like there i was like turns out you're the root of all evil huh we got to rip it out

root and stem, you know? Like, truly, you've got to rip it out. I ripped mine out a long time ago. I know you did too. Some women is still growing inside them. Yeah. It's a, it's a virus. That's what it does.

And I always think, too, when you let go of that, like, for both men and women and everyone else, it sets you free. When you let it go. Like a butterfly. Life will be so much easier and happier. You'll be more fulfilled. They're just, it's a win-win. There's peace on your pillow.

When you do that. Truly. Truly. Okay. So now we're going to play a little game. Just kind of break it up a little bit. So today we're going to be playing Finding the Fetish. Finding the Fetish.

That's our game for today. So I'm going to ask you some questions and then you can answer it. They either are not fetishizing you or they are fetishizing you. Okay. So this first one says, a man you're dating violates your space and touches parts of your body to determine if it's real, your hair, body, etc. Fetish. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, because basically they're treating you like a science experiment as opposed to like, I don't know, a human, human being. Yeah, it's giving fetish. It's just kidding. Why would you ever do that? What if you started doing that to white people? Oh, is that real? Let me touch it. Yeah.

Let me touch it. But you know what's so crazy too, just really quick. Yeah. It's usually not. Like sometimes, like, you know, like, it's just like, they have extensions too, you know? What's what I'm saying? Like, white people do that too. but it's like different.

Yeah. It's different when Brittany does it. I know. It's just like it's just so much more. I really, really hate when people are like, it just doesn't look natural. Duh. Duh, bitch.

You think I paid someone money, actual currency, to glue tiny pieces of hair to my eyeballs for them to look real? What are you nuts? I want people to see it from space. I want people to see my eyelashes. I want them to hear me blink. That's what I want.

I want it to sound like a wing is flapping, like a bald eagle. Like truly, like a turbine on a plane is getting kicked off. That's what I wanted to sound like every time. Helicopter chopper just starting. Same thing with my nails. Same thing. Like, how do you do anything with those? I don't.

I started talking with people, the worst question, like men ask me this a lot, which is weird. They ask me, how do you wipe? Badee, bitch. I just go, I don't. That's why I'd be telling them. I'm like, I don't wipe what? Yeah. You wipe? Why? Why? I go, I never, I haven't wiped in years. So. Yeah, you don't like shit between your ass?

Yeah. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. That's weird that you don't like that. You should try it sometime. Honestly, they probably do. Sicko. Okay, so this next question says, your significant other mentions an important cultural holiday and is coming up for you, and he wants to participate in it. Is fetish or not fetish? he's asking about a holiday and wants to participate in it they mentioned an important cultural holidays coming up for you and he wants to participate in it with you it's a slippery slope but i would say i would say not i would say not fetish yeah but it depends on their like you know what i'm saying their vigor when they're asking like are you trying to attend the cookout yeah or has it been your lifelong dream to see the cookout you know what i'm saying yeah to get an inside look yeah to the way to the One day, holy grail. Electric slide cook out.

Like their whole life has led up to this point. Yeah. Yeah. I would say, yeah. It depends on like how they say it. But I don't know. I would say not. Yeah.

Because they're trying to understand you. Yeah. And I honestly, I would more so appreciate that. Yeah. Like trying to be involved in my culture. Yeah. Rather than. Absolutely.

But like a frat boy wearing a dashiki at Coachella. That's not the same thing. Those are two different things, ma'am. Two very different things. That's not. participating in culture. No, it's really not. It's appropriating culture.

That's what that's called. I think that all the time about non-Samoin people getting like someone tribal tattoos. I think that all the time. They're like, oh, it's just, I just like really like it. What do you like about it? Tell me. What do you know about that specifically? Speak on it.

Yeah. Let me know. Educate me since you seem so well versed in someone tribal than I do. Exactly. I think that, oh, my God. I literally, one time I talked about. this on TikTok, but I don't really like to drag my Samoan brothers a lot. Sometimes I'd be doing it, but that's because they deserve it.

But I don't like to do it a lot, and it's not very often. But the few times that I have, sometimes I'll have, like, white women coming my shit. Even some white men, too, but mostly white women, they're like, actually, actually, he's not someone. Actually, he's Tongan. They'll, they tell, and I go, what are the odds you know and I don't? What are the, what are the chances? Let's play. What are the chances that you know and I don't?

This is the chances. It's real slim, huh? Small. And they're like, well, I'm actually married to a... Shh. Married. Shhh, shh. Same thing with they're like, I have kids, okay?

And your kids are more qualified to speak on this than you. Literally your children. That came out of, yo. They are more qualified. Yeah, it's the same thing with men, too. Like, they do constantly speaking on things just because they happen to be with someone who's a part of that culture. doesn't make you an expert on that culture.

Like, normalized, like, silencing. And it's okay if you don't know. It's all right. You don't have to know everything. I think that all the time. Just silence men. You don't have to be the resource for all things. Like, I literally said in my TikTok,

I said they literally date or like watch Moana once. And then they're suddenly the Jane Goodall of Polynesians. Like, they've been studying us as a species for however long. And they've done all the math. And they're like, I've come to the conclusion. That she don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. I hate that stuff.

They're like Maui. Yeah. At Coachella, my boyfriend and I were buying food and someone was like, oh my god, do you know who you guys look like? Moana and Maui. And I was like, it's funny because we don't. Yeah. That's the hilarious part. Also, you want to talk jokes?

That's pretty funny. I don't even know what I would do. I was like, you look like her just as much as I do. Yeah. Like you and I are probably in the same boat. Just stop saying. shit like that. Yeah, and it's also rude. It's rude. It's rude. It's rude. Literally racist. And also, I will add on to that. Just tack my. Oh, please do. Everyone always is like,

and I get it specifically from only white people. Same. You look like Lizzo. Which is the biggest compliment. But still. Yes. But it's also just like, so you see a fat black woman. And the only person you can think of is Lizzo. But also you don't. Yeah. And I'm just like. So like, But like I will literally, I remember one time I met someone who was like one of my audience. Like they had been following me for a while. Yeah. I was like, oh my gosh, Dom, I'm like so happy. I like ran into you.

I just want to say you always, you just remind me so much of Lizzo. And I'm like, I don't sing. I don't dance. I'm, as far as I know, I'm not even vegan. Like I'm like, I don't. There's so many things about me that are not anywhere. I wish. Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, even that is like inherently like racist. Like all black people are just like, through this or you're that. That's like truly so racist. Like it's, there's no in between there. There's no wiggle room on that at all. And it happens way too much. Yeah.

One time too much. Like literally multiple times too much. Like I'm just like, that's so. So that's my PSA. The boldness with which they say shit like that. Yeah. In my comment section too. they'll be like

this reminds me so much of Lizzo the comment section is is obviously a rancid play sometimes but in person in person and I'm supposed to take it as a compliment yeah like and if you react poorly they're like oh my god she was so rude to me yeah you just like there's no winning either way

there's no winning so I was just like I'm a I'm a mess of bitch out I'm a messer I like everyone turn around I let me find out one of you says that's a dom again let me find out let me find out drop a handle I'm gonna ruin your life I'm just like we're allowed to be individuals and that's okay yeah but that's why I always think um like one time I just got sick of it like I got sick of especially when I started dating my boyfriend I got sick of them wanna and maui shit so I started genuinely going no we don't and then what do they say they're like no you know because I'm like no I get it because we're both brown and you've never met another someone person in your life but no we don't yeah and then they're It gets so uncomfortable, but like, what do you want me to say? Oh my God, I do.

That's crazy. That's crazy. How'd you know? How'd you know? Oh, my God. That's so crazy. Like, we don't look alike. Like, at all.

I mean, I look more like Moana than he looks like Maui. I would, I'll give you that. I'll adhere to that. I mean, was I her for kids' birthday parties for a spell? Maybe. But that's neither here nor there. You know what that's called? Steering into a skid.

You would do it too for a chat. And I was unemployed and needed a job. So you know what? That's neither here nor there. We're allowed to do it. I'm allowed to do it to myself. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Self-inflicted. Don't worry about it. Okay. So this last question says, it's the third date and you two are looking to finally seal the deal. Right before they drop an unprompted, I've never dated a blank person before. Get that. Go.

Go. As far as the east is to the west. Get out my face. Go. To the other. out of the country, move states, move planets, don't talk to me, go, go. Even if that's true, why would you feel the need to broadcast it? Because you're ghetto.

That's why you feel the need to say shit. Because you're ghetto. There's no other explanation. Like I actually, and you know what's so crazy too? I don't care. I actually, that's a crazy part of that whole conversation. I don't give one shit. Yeah, like truly not at all.

But the fact that you felt the need to like tell me. me why? I just don't understand. I don't get it. I'm like someone's gonna get roughed up. I know and it's only only white people do it. I'm sorry?

Only white people do it. Like I've dated other minorities. Like they never do that. They never say it. If anything, we just like have a mutual understanding. Yeah. Because we've both been through it, I'm sure. Yeah.

So like I. Oh man. I've just never. That's a dozy that one. Truly it is. Yeah. It's happened. Yeah.

It's happened. True life. Trauma beds. And it's almost like, what do you call it? Like, they're trying to level up. You know what I'm saying? Or also like, what? Do you want me to feed you a bottle and pat you on the back?

Because you, you're supposed to be like, oh my God, really? Yeah. I'm the first? I'm the first. crazy. I can't believe you were like... I'm the first Negro you dated. Oh my gosh. I'm so honored. I can't believe it. Thank you. Thank you so. Get out my bro. Get out. Go. Go. That's not a medal of honor. Oh. Well, and that's why I can't, I genuinely can't imagine, like, only

specifically dating for race. Like, like, seeking out one specific race and only, like, this is the one. This is the one. Like, being so laser focused on it, that's weird. I, and you know, it's so crazy, I've had so many people. Like, that's, like, their dream. Why? Their dream. Like, not even, like, it's their lifelong dream. Yeah.

And that, to me, is the craziest part where I'm like, that's, like, bizarre. Not so bizarre. And, like, that mentally, it's severely, like, there's severe issues with that. Yeah, true. Like, it's, like, you got problems. You got problems. It's, like, the way you, it's like, it's like, science experiment. You're like, what can we create?

With our DNA. Yeah, because they always talk about, it's giving me eugenics. Yes. But the opposite. Literally. It's just, it's the opposite of genics. Like, I saw this one story once where it was like, it went viral. And I didn't talk about it at the time because I was like, if I do this, I'm going too hard. And I don't want to do that. But it was this girl. And she was basically talking about how she met her now, like, fiance. I'm sure they're married now, whatever. But her. her fiance was a Samoan football player. And she basically starts the story out by saying,

I've always wanted to be with a Samoan man because I want to have football player babies. That was the intro to the video. And she said, and her mom, my mom was like, oh my God, you should meet one at school. Like she went to some big school, like a big SEC school, like big football program, whatever. And she was like, you should date this one. Like, he like checks all the boxes. And she tells this whole love story of how they're like, oh, like, now they're together. Like she's trying to make it like a manifestation thing. Amma, this is giving me fetish.

Like you, this is weird. Why would you say it like that? Literally saw it out. And so many and so many other white women and like this is so sweet. Like this is so cute. This is so cute. Oh, manifestation. Yeah.

That's called hunting. No, literally hunting. Like literally gathering. and gathering and gathering and not the good kind like the scary kind like it's literally giving what's that movie yeah gosh

it's giving the purge like it's just like hunting and gathering purge style no literally oh yeah I've had people just be like oh I just want like a sweet little like light skin baby you know it's so crazy they'll have that light skin baby and that light skin baby will look toe up from the flow up.

Like, their hair's never been done a day in their life. Like, so, it's actually crazy. And I'm like, if it just so happens, okay, that you do have a mixed baby, there's so much more that comes with that. It's like, you have to protect that child. You have to know how to take care of their hair.

Like, know how to create safe spaces for them. Like, give them resources. You know what I'm saying? I think that's, like, always the saddest part, too. It's more so an aesthetic thing that they're thinking about, not like the actual responsibility of where, raising a mixed child. Instead of,

and like severe neglect, too. Yeah. It's just like, bro, if your family members are racist too. Yeah, what about, like, how do you handle any of that?

That's wild. Yeah. Like, none of that was playing a factor or whatever. So what we're gonna do? That's why I say, like, why can't you just date

normally? Like, just be a normal. Just be a normal person. Yeah, like if you vibe with someone, you vibe. Yeah, and then if you,

and if you get together and like, I mean, you slay. Yeah, there you go. And if you don't, you don't. You don't need to be a big creeper.

Per. That's okay. You don't need to be a creeper. So for this next video, this is actually like a spoof. So like he's like playing a character. Yeah, but I went to a public school. So you know, I feel culture. I feel connected, you know.

But for real, I love ice cream. Like I really like ice cream. Like I love the swirl, you know. Like I love me some swirl. I ain't got no type. No. Bad women are the only thing. I didn't enjoy. How did that, did that sound? My favorite music genre? No, I love all music. All music. All music. Medanga. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I can't look good. No, but we should get food sometimes. Yeah, like, I really, I like all food. Like, Haitian food, yo, don't get me started, yo. Like, I'll eat anything. I'll eat ass. You know what I mean?

I want to ask you is like, do you think that, like, men like this have this kind of confidence? Because part of them, believes that women of color, specifically minority women in general, are like easier to get if they lean into that, like, try and like reel them in like that? 1,000%. They're preying on the insecurities of a vulnerable group. Yeah. And that's the saddest part is it's also enabled too. Yeah.

And I think that's the most frustrating part is, yes, like it's all jokes. Like we've had that all happened. but we're I I've seen people rise the ranks of TikTok yeah making content like this yeah like for real Zs not like not like playing a bit like that dude not being like meringue like yeah yeah but like actually being like oh look what I'm eating look what I got look who look what I I know what that is and just praying into the insecurities or pretending to like care about like bits and pieces of culture. That's the thing I think too is like you're pretending to care.

Yes. Or that you have an actual interest in this and that's not the case. Exactly. That makes you a bad person. That makes you a terrible. It literally makes you racist, bab. Racist. Yeah, literally.

Rhapsist. And I feel like when I was like back in my single days, back in the day, I never got anything, I don't think anything related. Well, that's not true. I did get some culture-based stuff, but it was always the wrong one. Like, obviously Latin, but like, they'd guess Hawaiian all the time. And then I'd be like, no. And they'd guess like, Tahitian?

No, wrong again. Tongan? No. And they're like, ah, I give up. What are you? What are you? Women out. And something, too, that's also, like, extremely targeted is, like, for someone, women,

a lot of times they're masculized like a lot and I know like you know obviously you can relate to that too but like they're made to be these like big giant women with like huge feet and really strong masculine features like nothing and they always like are you know compare them to big fat dudes like obviously some of people are big bones like big body bends like all of us I was a nine pound baby same so that's why like I think a lot of times they're masculineized like that. So then sometimes when men would be like, oh, what are you? And I'd say I'm someone, they'd be like, no, that's not true. And I was like, why would you say that?

Because I'm not built like an O-Linman playing for the Detroit lines. Like, why would you say that to me? Because that's literally what they picture. And that's so disgusting. That's misogynistic. It's racist. Like, you name it. It's a ticking all these boxes.

Or just even like being like palatable to them. Exactly. That's what they're like, oh, well, this is just enough. I don't have to go too far in. I don't have to dip my toe too far in. It's like I don't have to be fully engulfed. Like, look, look what I'm doing. Look who I'm talking to.

Yeah, they're like, I'm still like, I'm a nice person. I'm talking to a brown person. Exactly. Or they'll say things like, oh, you know, I don't, I don't typically go for girls who look like you. You ever get one of those? Yeah. And to that I say, die. In a fire.

Literally, he's choke. Choke. Choke immediately. Literally choke on Skittles. Like, a joke on something. Choke on something. Because I'm just like, and, and once again, like, what would you like me to do with that information? And I was saying, you know what?

Let's keep that streak going. It's the f-go. Literally, G-T-F-O. Yeah, literally. You've got to go. You've got to go. G-T-F-O, you have got to go. That's my new chant.

That's what, y'all, that's what men like that? Yeah. And so in the comments of this video, obviously our fave dove, Clark, was in here. And she said this is the type of guy or these are the type of guys that always come after me. How do I stop it? Because dove is, she's half black and half indigenous. So she's like a two-for. Because indigenous people are fetishized like crazy on both ends of the spectrum.

But just it's just outlandish, honestly. It's disgusting. No, it's like scary. Yeah, like it's in, and they're so brazen. It's like the boldness. Where does it come from? No, but like even to take it one step further with like these fetishes, like they can even go like, I mean, that's what a fetish is. Yeah.

But it's sexualizing. Yeah, sexualizing like an animate object or an action. But they personify it to a person. Yeah. Which, A, that's not a fetish. that's like a psychological disorder. Like I just need people to know that. You need help.

You need help. Stat right away. Yeah. But I will say like even something as like race play. Like going into the bedroom like these men are crazy, bro. The men are crazy. They would say the craziest shit, dog. Like I don't know.

know. I mean, yeah, you're not on the market. Yeah. Thank God, dude. I don't know if I'm built for it. Hell is hot. Hell is hot out there, girl. Not good. Not good. Yeah. But like, even when I was, like, a little bit younger and I feel like Tinder was like the big, only like major dating app. Yeah. Now it's like, you know, hinges a little more classy, Bumbles, like classier. There's classier apps. It's still a lawless land on Tinder. It's still the world. It's still the way. Wild Wild West. And I would have guys, like, ask me to, like, shit on them. As, like, a white man, be like, tell me I'm not shit. Like, ask for reparations. Like, crazy shit like that. That they would just, like, message me on Tinder. Did you just instantly want to lobotomize yourself?

Yes, and I was like, Mom. You're all, I wish I could time travel back to before I read this. I was like, James. That was a different person. What was that? What was that? What was that? Yeah.

It's scary out there. But like the craziest thing is, is like, there are people who are so into that. I think that's okay. I mean, I had Tinder for a spell right before I met my boyfriend, actually. Well, I didn't, I met him a long time ago. My boyfriend and I went to high school together. But we were not high school sweethearts. We were arch nemesies.

I'm just kidding. Enemies to lovers. Real enemies to lovers. No, but we were cool in high school. And then we didn't start dating until. after college, like both of us, I moved back home. So I was on Tinder, but it was for my, my friend was like doing some kind of fun video. And she was like, have you ever used to Tinder?

I was like, no. So she told me to download it. And instant regret, horrible. It was awful on there. And I remember when I moved home and I had just started dating my boyfriend, like, we went on like a couple dates. And we went to like our first, actually, no, our first official date on the way down there, he was telling me about his friend. He's like, oh, you got to meet my buddy. Like, he's super nice.

Blah, blah, blah. I almost said his name. He's like, he's super cool guy. And I was like, okay, cool. We go, we went to, like, a fair. And while we're there, we're, like, having a good, like, doing, like, the kissing booth type shit. You know what I mean? Like, like, playing games and shit.

So we're, like, doing all the shit. And then we just so happened to run into that dude he was telling me about. And I was like, oh, like, he was like, oh, I was just telling her about you. Like, blah, well, we did a little meet and greet, whatever, said bye. Then the next day he hung out with that. dude and that guy goes did you meet her off tinder and he goes who drew and he goes yeah he goes no i've known her forever and he was like oh he goes why he goes i was just curious that's what he says next day after that i'm like on on tina you know when you you get super liked i don't know how it is now

but like they tell you a million times like you have super like you have to like so you have to like swipe till you find it yeah tell me why it was him it was that friend and he had no idea that i was like dating my now boyfriend nothing and i and i and i screenshot it and I sent it to my now boyfriend and I was like is this your friend and he was like oh my god like please let me tell him he's like I'm literally with him right now can I please tell him he had a plan he just needed the platform yeah he knew he was like please let me tell him please let me tell him and then he told him and he was like you know I don't even like really look like I just like I just swipe blah blah I'm like a super like a super like swipe that's an upb

That costs money. It does. And he told me he's like, he pays for Tinder. And I go, mm-hmm. He literally knew that he had super liked me because he recognized me from Tinder. It's giving fan behavior.

And he was, so. That's all we needed to know. That's all I need, he was. That's all we ever needed to know. And that tells you everything you need to know right there. Everything you need to know. And he never wanted to see me again.

person. Like he was truly like so humiliated. And I'm like, it's really not, it's funny. Like, let's all laugh. It's funny. Unless you were being a fetishy. Unless you were being fetish. Unless you're being a fetisher. A fetisher. And I was the fetishee. Yeah.

The fetish. No. But I was like, yeah, that was one of my stories from Tenor. I didn't spend too much time on there. Thank God. Oh my God. So I started doing my business. But lucky you. She must be nice.

I'm just really happy for you, too. I love a relationship with you. You guys are very cute together. I'm happy. That's why I said, maybe go back to high school. They didn't want you went to high school with. That's what I did. Absolutely not.

For context about my high school, this is like kind of like how L.O.L. Like how big of a joke. Like this is how suburban and white my high school was. There was a guy who drove an F, Ford F-1, 350, 650, 600, whatever the after called Super Duty with a huge Confederate flag on the back of it and he would just drive it into school

every morning. Babe, that's not giving me suburban. That's giving me podunk southern. You would think? Like I don't even know because it's just it was really just the suburbs. Really? But he was just like, oh. But then also he was like, it's quirky. It's funny. It's funny. But he was also

unhinged. Like he drove a dirt bike through the school and got like suspended. Okay, so he's got lots of other things going on too. So, so racism's the least of his worst? Yeah. Okay. Like, he was like one of the kids that got like, went to, like, kidnapped and, like, taken into the wilderness.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not saying it's right. Trauma, trauma. Trauma. Trauma, yeah. Literally, literally love it. That's trauma for you, babe.

Yeah. Okay, this next one says, no. I'm sorry. Giving trauma, babes. Doing trauma. Okay. This next one says, no, but for real, why are they always pretending they know about my culture? Like, yes, tell me more about how much you love Nigeria.

My favorite part is when they pick one thing. Like the one thing that stands out about your culture, whatever it may be. So obviously you're half black, half Filipino? Yeah. Okay. And so me, I'm just someone. So, like, for me, it's the rock and the rock only. So they're like, I go, I'm someone and they go, like the rock.

Oh my God, I love him. He rocks. That guy's so cool. And I'm like, yeah. Sometimes they'll go, do you know him? Yeah, you know what? Should I call him? Yeah.

He's on my speed dial. You call 911. You know what I do? I use my coconut phone and I just hit him up. I go, hey buddy, it's a little far. Come on down. Someone wants to meet you. Like, what the hell do you want me to say that?

Like, what do you want me to say that, dude? Next time someone does that, I'm just going to call the police. You should just make a sense. Citizens arrest. I'm literally going to dial 911. You're like, I am making a citizen's arrest. So you stay right there. You stay right there.

The law is on their way. The cops are on the way. Don't move a muscle. Just carrying zip ties around with me. I just fully because. Yeah. Have they ever done that to you? Like, pick one thing.

I know, I'm sure you could, obviously. But what's the thing they pick for you? I feel like probably the thing that they pick is, I'm trying to think. Like, it's, oh, if they listen, they'll listen to, like, an artist. Like, they'll be like, oh, I love a little boozy. Or, like, some, like, I used to have. They try to go, like, two steps off mainstream. So they won't say Drake, but they'll say someone a little off.

Yeah. Or they'll just, like, assume that I automatically, like, listen to rap music or, like, love certain things. Yeah. And I'm like, babe, I was emo. Like, I'm, like, insert picture of me being an emo bitch. Like, I literally had some things. If we're not talking Gerard Way, I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk, babe.

We're not talking. I was like, if we're not listening. To Brendan Uring. Yeah. Don't tell me. If there's not a panic at the disco, get out my face. So it's just like dumb things like that where I'm like, I don't know one song. Yeah.

One time I was at a party in college, right? And I was talking me and this other dude, he was black. Only two minority people at the party. that's cool but we vibe with each other so we're talking right and we're vibing and this white dude comes up to us and he's like he's trying to vibe like he's trying to be like hey guys what's up you know and we're like okay cool like what's up man like and then he he talks to the to the other guy that I was talking to and he goes hey man you listen to rap first thing he says to him strike one right and then he and then he says no not really that's what he says yeah and then he goes you don't listen to any rap like at all

really strike two doubling down right then he goes no dude that's not really like my thing he goes really like not even like drake or something you couldn't even pick like one step off you know what I'm saying like something just one step down from the one black artist he knows besides Kanye West so then he says that and then I can't take it anymore so I go why do you keep asking him that is that because he's black

I just said it yeah because like let's call it for what it is just call a spade of right he goes what do you mean? Like he literally freaks it. He's like, why would I ever like, blah, blah, blah? He goes, and then he tells me, do you know how many? Do you know how many? I could literally tell you how many black people I've met in my life.

And he goes, do you know how many that is? I go, I'm guessing not many since you're keeping count. Yes. What do you have a tally? You're like, one more today. Yeah. You knock on your whiteboard? I'm like, black people have a lot of white friends.

No. Why would you say that to me? White people have a few black friends. Yeah, and this dude was, He was dying. He was laughing because I was like, why would you? Do you know how many? I'm guessing not many.

I'm guessing that number's pretty low. I'm guessing one hand. It's like, that's my guess with you. It's so embarrassing. It's so MF embarrassing. Or this is what used to tell me. Like in high school, I would like show up somewhere. And they would like give all my friends hugs.

And then for whatever reason, they would dapped me. Oh, my gosh. I'm supposed to say I'm going to be like you're like bitch hi I don't whoop you know what I'm saying

like how you're going to give everyone else a hug and then me you're going to hit with the I'm trying to shake your hand Johnny I'm trying to relate to you yeah I'm trying to be on your level next time I'm going to do shake it

you should shake it hard like a business handshake like you just sealed a deal yeah like good doing business with you Shake it around. One time I was in a bar with my boyfriend, just the two of us were just vibing, having a good time. White dude comes out to us. Arguably both these white men from my last story and this one, both from Ohio.

Listen, is what it is. Take it up with her own. He literally comes out to us, he goes, oh, like, trying to vibe again. Where are you guys from? We're like, oh, here. Right, because we were at Disneyland, so we were like, we're from Orange County. He goes, no, like, where are you from?

You know when they keep asking the same question? where like, well, more specifically, like, Riverside County, I've made a solid deal with myself that the longer they ask, I've checked in, this is all I'm doing. I'm never answering your question. I've never given you the answer you want. I'm going to answer you literally every single time. So when people ask me that, because I get that a lot too,

I give them the most uncomfortable answer that literally makes them like cringe inside. And I do it too. I do not care if the president asks me. I would, this is literally what I would say. So I would be like, oh yeah, like, where are you from? Yeah. And I'm just like, yeah, well, my mom's like from the Philippines. Like, you know, whatever.

They'd be like, oh, yeah, your dad, like, are you African? And I'm like, no, we honestly probably came off a boat. Like, I literally, I'm like, yeah, probably a boat. Conversation over. Yeah. Any more questions? They're like, oh, yeah. She's like, okay.

Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. For sure, for sure. They start doing that. Yeah, they were sure. Oh, yeah. I get it. Yeah, I do.

He was telling me, he's like, where you? Oh, no, but like, where are you from? Basically, he, like, wouldn't stop. And then he said, where are your ancestors from? I said, these nuts. That's where they're from. Literally. Have you ever heard of Joe?

Joe Mama's house. That's what they're from. But so I was like, I was like, if you're asking what ethnicity we are, we're someone. Okay, because I was just curious. Don't ask me that, bro. Don't ask me that. Well, have you ever seen Moana? That's us.

Like, literally? right okay so just to wrap up we talked a lot about fetishization on both ends of the spectrum and both men and women so what would you want to tell the people out there about fetishizing people of color women of color especially I would like to say change starts with you change starts with you I want to speak to the woman that fall victim to the fetishization. We've been there. And I want to challenge you to find it in yourself.

Find yourself worth. That's where it's going to start. To build yourself up as a woman of color, black one of color, indigenous women of color, build yourself up because society's going to tear you down. They're going to tell you you're not enough. They're going to tell you try and put all these labels on you. And I just want to let you know that you're bigger than those labels and that you do not have to adhere or accept anything that society tries to put on you. Stand up.

Stand up. To the people that fetishize. Yeah. Who have built platforms off. Off of fetishizing. Stop. Like, literally stop. Yeah, stop feeding into it kind of thing.

Like, don't, don't let them control you or how you feel about yourself. I think the saddest thing is. And I'm speaking to those people that do it. I think you're missing an incredible opportunity to actually get to learn and know people. Because you are like putting them in this weird box that you think exists. Yeah. And it doesn't. Well, and also for all minority people, obviously culture is a huge part of who they are.

But it's not the entirety of their character or personality. Like they have many different facets to them, all of which don't solely. rely around what ethnicity they are. Like, you can learn in a very respectful way that's very possible. You can learn and ask questions in a way that doesn't make you a big creeper. Like, you could very easily do that. It's not that hard. And the coolest thing is, is there's so many resources.

Google's free. Google is free. YouTube is free. There's so many things for you out there. So to those people, I say that. Just quit being the mayor of Creptown. Yeah. Just be a normal person.

Be normal. Just date normally, be a normal person. Be chill. Be normal. Foster human connection. Yeah. Like a normal human being. It's really not that hard.

If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Exactly. And it won't happen because you had a bunch of bonnets. Like, yeah, or a bunch of info on a culture that you are not a part of. Like, it's not going to happen because of that. It's going to happen because you're not the worst. Yeah. It's going to happen because.

that. Thank you. Bonnet King. I'm talking to you. Okay, perfect. I want to thank Dom Roberts for coming on my show today. Thank you so much, dude. No, thank you for having me on.

I love you so much. Like, I love the term Bonnet King. I love that term that you've coined today. I love that for you. TM. T.M. You say TM for Dom Roberts. I love you so much.

Where can everybody find you? You can follow me on Instagram at Dom Roberts instead of an it's an ex or you can find me on TikTok because I post on there sometimes true I love that for you um and my handle is Dom not a teen mom love that yeah it's a little funny spicy funny little edgy yeah perfect I love Dom so much please go follow her you're incredible and amazing I love you I adore you the comment section period and for those of you who want to be featured potentially in a future episode of the comment section show, make sure you tag me in your favorite or least favorite TikTok so I can

bring them here and rip them to shreds like I always do. And for those of you who want to catch full episodes of the comment section show, make sure you tune in every Wednesday at 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time and subscribe to the past your bedtime YouTube channel and the comment section show is also available on all streaming platforms. Thank you so much for joining us today. Bye.