The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - Fashion In Men & Women| Drew Afualo ft. Chris Klemens | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 7

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew and Chris dish on the fashion standards men have for women. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you think about men, like, either dictating what women wear or what's okay to wear or what's proper, whatever you want to call it. Like, what are your initial thoughts? Learn what a clitoris is before you're going to give any fashion advice. The Lincoln Spring Sales event is on now, and there's never been a better time to experience the feeling of driving a Lincoln. Pictures, sunlight through the available panoramic vista roof, music, weather, and maps on the 48-inch panoramic display, and it drives so smooth that inspiration rides up front. Stepping out better than you got in. That's the Lincoln feeling.

Get behind the wheel of the 26 Lincoln Nautilus SUV and discover exceptional offers only at your local Lincoln retailer. Hey y'all and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show with me, your girl, Drew. I'm still a little sick. I don't want to hear about it. No, it's not COVID. Anyways, today I have a wonderful, amazing, flawless fashion forward guest, the one and only Chris Clemens. Thank you. Live audience. This is when you birthday clap like it's Chili's. Thank you. Thank you. It's a polite museum clap. I guess. It's like golf. I'm like making eye contact with my manager and I'm like, you want that percent of it? Are you going to laugh? Just kidding.

Oops, I already said a cuss word. Oh, it's not the bad one. We're good. Okay, perfect. Sweatting in my sweater. I am so incredibly honored to have you. I have, I have literally been jerking it to you forever. I am such a big fan. Wow, if anyone is going to jerk it to me, I'm so glad it was you. It's me. I'm honored. I'm taking the number one spot. Wow. I'm out like, Drew's letting, like, I'm allowed to do this. Are you kidding?

Of course. I'll jerk you off right now live in. Live on stage. That's what we were literally talking about. I was telling Chris to run me over in your Tesla. And then I was like, you can have the car if you run me over. There you go. We're mentally ill.

Somebody yelled at me on Twitter the other day saying that I was making talking to a therapist acting like it's cool. Babes, what? You know what's not cool? Taking care of yourself. Take care of your mental health? I was like, babe, can I get you a therapist? She said, she said suffer in silence. Grime in silence. Oh my God, and her picture

screamed suffer in silence. I was like, ha! Not that little hat that's made out of yarn. Was it like a wasp mom? Does she have Disney ears on? No, no, no, no, no. That would be like too easy. That would be too easy. Low-hanging fruit. Okay, so I have to tell you the very first video I ever saw of you,

Was you talking about meeting Hillary Duff? No! I swear to God. This is worst case scenario. That was the first video I saw, and I was literally paying my pants. This will never escape me. That in Ed Shearin. Did you have a story with Ed Shearing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Duff was like my first crush. To make a tirelessly long, traumatic story short, I was a Hillary Duff super fan. That's what first drew me to you initially, but that's not why I stayed. You know what made you stay? The Emma Watson pickup I mean, shoot me dead

No, it was the Chrissy Teagan banana bread Oh God I'm just kidding I swear when people tell me shit Or oops yeah No shit's fine, shit's fine Yeah shit's good Shit's good

Shit's real good Yeah no whenever people relay facts about my life I'm like oh They're all tied to I'm like wow Chrissy Tegan Yeah no no But some of them are

But I'm just like How did we get here? I don't know Who released me from myself they're like nurse she's out again oh it's like she's out and she's the amber alert's been out for so long yeah I'm gonna see you on a milk carton I'm on the milk carton I'm on the weedies box I'm international please please please bring this man home she needs to be reunited with her family yeah I love that I honestly saw the video and it I felt so seen thank you because I loved Hillary Duff I still do

I'm obsessed with her yeah Hillary yeah acting on how I met your father I I just think that show should could be better But no reflection on her But no reflection on her But no She's still perfect Perfect flawless

Like I don't I have good taste Have had good days for a while There you go Kids made fun of me Just because I gave out Lizzie McGuire Valentine's in fourth grade

Haters And now look Now look Now look Now they're all Yeah now look I'm still talking about Hillary Dove They're literally still

Durrific I'm not gonna lie I picked well There you go I think you saw You saw the longevity Yeah You're like

she's going to sustain. Oh, and here she is. Sustaining. Sustaining. The biggest, fattest heart on for Hillary Duff. Always. Oh, my God.

Yeah. I'm obsessed with her. That's why you, and Ed Sheeran, everyone makes fun of me, but I love him. I adore him. Love him, not his music anymore.

No, yeah. But like, I'm like, just like, I hope he's fine, you know? Like, I don't wish ill. He seems well. I wish you well. Like I was definitely more a fan. Now I'm just kind of like, go off.

Whatever. I'm like, oh, yeah, same. I don't like him either. No. I just want to be honest. I don't want to front this Ed Shear and fantasy. I'm like, oh yeah, same. Yeah, no, I'm not a sheer head.

Yeah, neither. Me neither. That sounds awful. And I'm throwing away all my Ed Sheeran merch. No, keep it. I'm setting it on fire. Keep it. Keep it.

No. I would honestly pay to see you and Ed Sheeran next to each other. That just seems like the funniest picture to me. What do you think the conversation would be? I don't even know. Oh, hey Drew. Should we reenact me? I don't know why I'm giving like Ozzy Osbourne.

I'm like, hey, Drew. He has a raspy voice instead. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Me acting like literally, I know what I'd share and talks like. I'm like, oh, you, how you? You're like, hello. Anyway.

It's just like a colonial accent. The producer, like, land the plane. Bring it back. I like literally don't. Oh, you were jerking me off, right, right, right. Yes, yes. I'll get right back to it. I'm right back to it.

No, no. No, if this is the jerk off I don't want it. No, no, no, no. I'm saying the next thing I noticed was your fashion icon. Thank you. Like, very fashion forward. And also, I love your merch. Thank you.

I'm such a big fan. Thank you. Because it doesn't look like merch. Well, it looks like very fashion forward clothing. Thank you. Yeah, there was a point when I lived in New York and I was like four, five years into YouTube at that point.

Yeah. And that was when YouTubers started really making merch. Yeah. But it was just like the Joey Greccefa, like their giant, like a giant face. Yeah. And I was sitting there thinking, I was like, respectfully, truly respectfully. As an innovator. Um, I was like, as a, as a, as a muse, I was like, I'm sorry. Yeah, literally.

As a genius. Josh Safdi? Hi. Um, no, that's so dead. I'm so sorry for pulling that out. Um, but yeah, I was like, I don't think I could ever put my face that big on a shirt and sell it to people and feel okay. And that is not a drag. I full, it's totally. You're all just my face. You're all just me. Just me. That's everything. Literally only you. You're the only exception. You'll put my face on your merch. Yeah, if that's okay, just sign these documents. I'd love to. Thank you. Just my big bare ass, that'd be perfect.

Don't you think? Wait, let's talk after. I also heard that weight echo and I was like, boom. Make sure you take note of that. Your manager's like, cup of cords. We're on a show. We'll set up a meeting after. We'll reconvene after.

We'll circle back. Perfect. But yeah, I was just like, I don't want my face on a shirt. Like, why don't people make clothes that are, at the time, I was like, that they would find it like urban outfitters. But like, I was just, yeah, just so I did that and I feel like I'm not

I'm not paying near the way but you know I don't want to say I'm like it's like my only claim like something that I'm proud of on the internet I'm like here we go I kind of did that I know I love that because you aren't you are too mean to yourself I'll say that oh 100%

you don't give yourself enough credit no I don't why would I keeps the fire because you're an icon period I don't want to hear you say that I don't want to hear that this is my show you're not allowed to be mean to yourself oh my god I feel like a straight white male watching one of your TikToks are I'm like,

You're safe here. You're safe. I'm like, oh my God, I'm a blast right now. It's okay, don't worry. You're like heart spounding all fast. Oh my God, like, can you see it? You just hold the mic to it and you can hear it. It's funny.

No. That's what I'm saying, like, you don't give yourself enough credit because you're literally fashion icon. I love it. Thank you. I adore you. Thank you. So that's why for today's topic, we're going to talk about fashion,

specifically when it comes to men and women, but also like men's standards for fashion when it comes to women. So we're talking, obviously. Oh, good. Like what they expect of women to wear? That's the best thing. Straight men saying what women Yeah, what anyone should wear. Literally, what anyone should wear, let alone women?

Yeah. So, like, when I initially say that to you, what's your initial thoughts? When you think about men, like, either dictating what women wear or what's okay to wear or what's proper, whatever you want to call it. Like, what are your initial thoughts? Learn what a clitoris is before you're going to give any fashion advice. Yeah, maybe, I don't know. Like, maybe find the entrance to the pleasure center, not even the whole thing.

Maybe find, like, feel the touch of a woman before. Maybe speak to one in real life? Yeah, like, not a photo on a script. Yeah. I just don't under. I'm like, there are way bigger issues that you should be addressing. And it's not what women are wearing. Like what they're putting on their own bodies, for example.

Or what they should be washing off of their bodies. The stink. The must. Twins. It's my new thing. I hate the word musty. I know. It's just so accurate for what it describes.

It, like, gives you the full. experience just by hearing the word. Yeah. No, I literally have full body chills thinking about especially straight men must. That's different breed. That's all like that's like That's the only thing. That's the only description to you. That's the only must.

To me that's like the must. We're literally T.M. But that bitch has a trademark. No, seriously. That's why I'm like I wanted to talk to you about this because you're obviously very up to date on fashion and like very fashion forward and kind of walk to the beat of your own drum which I love. Thank you.

You dress for yourself, which I think is something really important. And I talked about on other episodes, too, like, dressing within the female gays or the male gays. So, like, when I was younger, very male gays. You know what I mean? You were, like, dressing for boys. You were dressing for little boys. For the little boys.

I'm picturing you in sixth grade. That's why I said boys. No, literally, like, I think when I was around high school college age, that's, like, when I started recognizing, like, how I was dressing and why I was dressing that way. It wasn't really for myself. Oh, I mean.

Yeah, no, I think everybody goes... It's like following trends. Were you like insecure younger when you were younger? I mean, not really. Oh, okay. I was gonna say every insecure person

I feel like goes through that like what was that? Yeah, like transform it as nice. Yeah, like I like shopped at J crew and wore like preppy clothes. Like I was like... Did you really? Oh yeah.

Mostly because like I went to like a preppy high school and I was like... Like a sparries with like... Yeah. Oh my God, I had sparries. And like shoulder tied around the like or no shoulder tight around the shoulder. No, no, no, no, no, no, because that would have indicated, like, wealth.

Like, I didn't... Girl, I wasn't that. Yeah, no, I didn't tie a cold sweater around my shoulders, no way. A T.J. Max. Didn't have that kind of confidence yet. A target sweater. Yeah, no. Like a wild fable sweater.

So, yeah, no, I think everybody... Kind of goes through that. Like the evolution. Yeah. Yeah, I think... Unless you're, like, one of those weirdly, like, 12-year-old, like, people who are, like, 30 in spirit, who are like, I'm dressed in like full,

and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, I literally, when I was younger, I didn't care at all what I wore. Then when I got older, I think I cared a little bit more how it made me portray to others, like how other people perceived me. Yeah. But now I feel like I'm in a space

where I dress literally only for myself. It's so freeing. It's so great. And I feel like you do that. You dress only for yourself, which I love. Well, yeah, because I think when you dress for other people, you can tell, and it's so embarrassing. Yeah, like when you look back.

Well, yeah, or it's like, they just look so try hard. Yeah, literally. Like, sometimes I'll find myself. Like last night I was going to this party and I was like, oh, I need to look. And I'm like, what am I doing? My room still is a mess from it because I didn't even clean it up. But like, I'm just like, what am I doing?

I just like changing the stuff that I would wear. And I was like, okay, like, let's not overthink this. Yeah, like I think when you get too down in the weeds about it, it can get like exhausting almost. A human brain. A wild place. Especially if she's ill. She's nuts. Especially if she's mentally out.

Oh my God. She's off her rocker. She's unpredictable. She really is. She surprises me. She's quirky crazy. Oh, every day. Every day.

That's why, like, I wanted to talk about that with you because I feel like, especially now with all the misogyny that I'm just like shoveling through every day. Yeah. I'm a garbage man. I'm out there in the streets every Wednesday. Aren't you tired? Every single day. I'm just, I do get tired.

My back aches. Oh, my. I can't even think about the back. I mean, I would just think about the physically. exhaustion. Yeah, just having to see it every day. But I always see it and then like completely bury it. Yeah, like just digest it. I'm constantly. You dig a hole and throw

that bitch right in. I'm literally like grave robbing. I'm digging up old graves and putting new shit in there. Oh my God, no, you're digging up the grave and then put him right back in. You're like, you thought. You thought you were coming out. I unearth them and then I send them right back to hell. Just to show them, remind them what the sun looked like. Yeah, I said, I told them get back in that sewer. You know what I mean? crawl right back in that bitch.

I like this energy. see you back here again. I like this energy. Right. Loving this. That's why men hate me. It's where everyone else loves you. Honestly, I saw a video once where someone was like,

if men hate you that I think you're doing something right? Like straight men. Yes. Yeah, they've all been way too comfortable. Like I don't, I'm like, okay. And I am the most unsettling person for them. I love it though.

I like love it. Like when you were like this person, this is their fourth video about me. I'm like, oh. No, literally. Oh my God. To just get that kind of promo on the daily

for those kind of. micro influencers. Oh my God. Not a micro-pene influencers. Micro in multiple ways. Microw, oh, in a lot of ways. Brain, peanut. I love that.

Following. I love that for me. Yeah, I do too. It's free marketing. It's true. It is. Oh, my God. Same for you probably.

No. No. I try not to piss as many people of. Really? Yeah. A lot of straight men bullying trauma. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's my whole life. No, I'm sure. Yeah, no. That's why I'm like, I like, I'm like, Wow, Drew, she's really fighting for us all. It's really like take a number. You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm a deli counter and they're just coming up.

And you're slicing sausage. And I said, I'll get right to you. I don't care. You want to ground or slice. You're an East Coast girly, right? Are you? No, I'm not. I'm a West Coast girlie.

Got it. I don't know if you could tell by talking to me. Honestly, I could believe East Coast. Someone told me I give New York energy. You do. That's why. I said, because I have no fear. Yeah, you have no fear.

You're just like quick, talking like. I don't know. There's something about you. You're just like, I'm here. I'm awake. Like, let's get moving. Perfect. Love that for us. Yeah, no, I do too. It's like got me going. I'm like, why did I get caffeine on the way here? Why was I seven minutes late? I'll just run over you next time. That'll wake you up. Thank you.

That'll wake you a right away. It's all I've asked for literally upon entering. Please run me over. Perfect. So for those of you who don't know here on the comment section show, what we like to do is we bring videos. I like to say, I bring them here and I just rip them to shreds. Love. I like to, I just like, from the.

absolute center, the core, just rip it right out. Just like from the root. You know what I mean? Turned on, let's do it. Okay, so for our very first video for today, right? I like to give people a description.

I like to paint them a picture. I love that. Right? Bob Rossett. Right? I'm saying, I'm just like tell people to close their eyes and then use their imagination, but you don't need to close your eyes.

You can look deeply into my eyes and then we'll fall in love. And then we don't even finish the show. We just run out of the guy. Yeah, take that hot gym boyfriend. We just drive. My boyfriend No, your hot gym boyfriend

No, yours I know, I'm just kidding I'm like, um, look at him I know he's so cute, huh? Oh my God, genius makes me sick. It's hot. Speaking of wanting someone to run me over

I want him to run me over all the time. I want him to run me over let's do it. Again, manager, we'll set plans. Perfect. We'll circle back. Let's get that on the books. Okay, perfect.

So in this first video, it's basically this woman and she's breaking down like modesty culture when it comes to fashion for women and basically kind of elaborating she gives a very nuanced explanation, which I know dudes got none of. No, they don't even know what nuanced means.

No, not even. They stopped right there. They're just no aunts at all. It's just lacking aunts. Prickets. Yeah, just nothing going on, just elevator music in the head. But essentially she's breaking down that like essentially humans are the only mammals on earth that wear clothing, right? And then like back in the day, women used to not wear any clothes, like as did I think most humans that were alive at their

And then it's because objectification wasn't a thing until I think it's more so puritanical, like religion. Yeah. Well, religion, obviously. Modesty. Or religion. Yeah, or lack thereof. For Jesus. Just silly goofy tongue.

Love you, Jesus. We're bathed in his blood. You know what I mean? Every night. Every night. I take the dunk. Imagine. Just by yourself?

Oh, strictly. No, your dog doesn't? What's your dog? I was saying Bougar, right. Bougar. Oh, I love. I almost brought her, and then I was like, I don't think we can do that today. Yeah, so that's why she's the one baptizing you every night. Yeah.

With her dental shoes. Yeah. Oh, my God. I love that. See, I told you. I did all my research. I know, I'm so thorough. You really want to.

I told you constantly. Listen. To you constantly. I'm glad to take a break finally from doing it. Anyways, back to the video. Yeah, back to the video. So basically, she's just saying it's like the response. Like, it's patriarchal standpoint.

standards have basically put this responsibility on women. Yeah. To basically be modest so that they don't have to... Yeah, it's like... Speaking of jerking off, they don't have to jerk off constantly. Yeah, so it's basically like... It's not men's fault that they're looking. It's women's fault because it's there.

Yeah, it's literally there. Like, it's on them to make sure that they don't be a Neanderthal in public. And they're just not bricked up everywhere constantly. It's... I mean, I just don't know how you think about this and you're like, yeah, this is civilized. That's what I'm saying. I don't understand either. Like you really can't control it?

Like, yeah, being objectified. No, just like you really can't like, oh wow, there's someone's thigh. I told you, bricked up. What? Instantly rock hard. It blows my mind. It blows my mind, too. Especially when they make those videos when they're like, I don't like when women come to the gym and they, you know, their asses are hanging out.

And I'm like, bro, then stop showing me your thighs all like doing their thighs. Men have their tities out constantly. At the gym. At the gym, the breeding ground for the worst people on planet Earth. I hate the gym. I know. It's the worst place ever. It's strictly because of the attendees.

It truly is. Myself included. We're all trash. Rotted. Except your boyfriend. He's amazing. He's the only exception. He's the only exception.

The only exception by Paramar starts playing. Oh, is that? Okay. I thought it was paramour. I was going to make you. And then I was like, we might not. And then Haley Williams comes out. There you go.

Girl, I'm using her hair. hair dye, it's great. It does get on my pillow, though. Look at me full circle. What if I already knew that? What if she was here? Bring her out. Bring her out. Hey, Lee, come on out, girl. The budget wasn't there. I left. She's not there yet, but she will be. It's just a cardboard cut out of her for now. She drops in. Lady Gaga's. That's why, okay. Sorry. Sorry. No, it's okay. I love. I also suffer from ADHD. We love that, though. We stand. Sometimes. Sometimes. For you. I love that for you.

Thank you. There you go. Yeah. Because I love all of you. All mine of me. All of you. Hi. And then John Legends, all of me starts playing. And then Chrissy Teigen comes out.

She has banana bread. See, it all connects. I'm a genius. I'm about to take the dunk. And not come back up. No, the chair just fully falls backwards. That's around. Okay.

That went as planned. Well, anyways. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Basically, she's just saying, like, she's talking about that. And obviously, all the comments were like, pretty much supportive, obviously, of her messaging. But this one person said,

men can literally walk around in underwear and they don't get objectified. All my friends' brothers literally barely had clothes on when I'm over. Which is true, like I said, it's a double standard. Yeah, no, I think Cameron Dallas literally had a career because he took his shirt off.

As do most other white dudes on. Yeah, sadly not me. Yeah. Didn't get that gift. But, yeah. Like the Noah Bex of the world. Just walking around topless. No, come on.

You know what I mean? He has talent. You didn't need to laugh. Whoever laughed that was out of pocket. We all heard it. I was being serious. Maybe not all of us. But I was being,

you can't say I wasn't. There you go. I believe you. I believe you. I don't get it. Well, that's what I'm saying, like, they walk around with their tities all the time. And that's why I've flipped the script.

Now I tell them I'm like, how am I supposed to take you seriously? Low value man. You know what you're like, like I just love everything. Like, it's just incredible. You're really just doing it. Oh my God.

Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm just ruining the lives. I know, but I know I didn't answer any of the questions or if there even was a question. But like, yeah, you just do that. You really have like flipped the script. I'm trying. It's crazy. It's a tough job.

If you use what they shame people for, it's just incredible. Yeah, I literally made a video like responding to this dude and he was topless, like, as they almost always are, which I find odd. It's like, it's almost like their brain doesn't work unless they take the shirt off. And then even then it's like the empty sign is like still blinking. It's operating at 25% even then. Max. They're like the Wi-Fi signal gets better in that brain. It's like on the one bar.

When they take the top off. Chode at the bottom of the Wi-Fi thing. And I made a video responding to his bullshit. But like at the end I was like and honestly put a shirt on. I can't take you seriously when your titties are out like that. To be oogled by other women. Disgusting. Low value man.

Love. No respect whatsoever. Clearly, you don't respect yourself. Probably doesn't have a mom. Motherless behavior, you know what I mean? And tussie list behavior. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's the indicator.

That's the main one? Yeah, that's like all that reads. It's like, I am getting quite literally. No play. Zero. Yeah, literally not at all. Like me at age nine with trying, trying out an allowance, getting zero. Just nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. And I literally had dudes be like, what does. Does him not wearing a shirt have to do with what he said? Walked right into it. Walked right into it.

That's why I said. See, like, I think you're, like, just taking these dumbasses and just hitting them so full around that they're now being like, why is that bad? Why you're, like, making them intellectual. Like, it's incredible. No, like, that's what I'm saying is, like, when I jerk you off, I'm like, this is a a two-hander, like, with maybe a little spit. Like, truly, you are...

Oh my God, I'm honored It's like I could literally write a thesis And I don't even I adore you Love that I don't even know what a thesis really is We're just gonna end up We're just gonna end the show

Making out just the two of us Sorry Jim bro Sorry sorry about that This is I need this though It's perfect I'm so sorry Let me get here We'll go back on track

Don't worry I always redirect us Thank God I'll bring the ship home every time I'm like oh a left turn okay I'm like I'm the cruise director here Thank God someone's got to be Okay, so this next comment says

Modesty is a way for others to control their own impulses through others instead of dealing and controlling themselves. Yeah, it's like being in like sixth grade and they're like, Kelsey, can you put your shoulders away? No, seriously, those collarbones, they're upsetting the male teachers. And I was like, so what about like the male student, like why am I getting in trouble when I'm throwing paper in somebody's hair?

No, seriously. But someone's not getting in trouble for being weird? That's what I'm saying. Like being creepy? I'd rather take the paper any day. Well, no, no, no, if it's like a classmate. Oh, if it's a classmate. I was thinking, like, when male teachers

would dress code, female students. Oh. It's giving me petto. It's giving me major ick. Right? It's giving me side eye, you know what I mean? Cess behavior. One of those, like,

mm-hmm. Yeah, well, that was what's funny is, like, in, like, elementary and, like, middle school, yeah. We had, like, a dress code. Yeah. And it, like, it was just something that I was like, oh, yeah, dress code. You know, you're, like,

six and you're like not thinking about like oh that old man could be like literally wanting to do things to my friends you literally never never thought about that then you get to high school and then there's male teachers being like can you cover up up your and i'm then it everybody is like wait is this it's a real gross no it's literally like is this maybe not on me yes i'm saying especially like hemlines too like for girls yeah when it's telling when we had high school graduation the girls the guys had to wear like they didn't give like robes no that would be too easy

you guys didn't get robes for your graduation no we had to wear a suit okay a navy suit in white pants and the school tie what is this she's the man literally literally and then the girls had to all get a white dress and it had yeah

oh pier yeah um and I was like I saw graduation I was not pure yeah it ain't nothing pure about everything had to be past the knee or maybe it was like two inches above the knee. And so they had to bring them in to get approval. And everyone's like, can you try shopping? There was no like uniform like one dress.

They just said bringing hair and I'll tell you if it's good. I was like at that point just give us a uniform. Yeah. Like just give them like an old timey like I wore. I wore like a plaid shirt that had a hood. Yeah. It was like a hoodie but it looked like a shirt. Yeah.

They made me like tuck it in and had a zipper. They're just trying to ruin your outfit, I think. No, it was in front of the whole high school. I was doing an announcement and the guy, this asshole, oh. I almost want to say his name, but I feel like that'll probably cross the line. Literally, I was like giving an announcement. I was already awkward and insecure and I was like, hi, so drama club will be meeting. And then he literally stops me and starts tucking in my shirt.

And I was like, you're all, I can do it myself. You could have sold me. Yeah, like I'm happy to do it in front of the whole high school. Thank you. Could you get your hands out of my ass crap? I go, you go, please. I got it. I know how to wipe my own ass.

Thank you very much. I'm more than capable. Thank you though. I appreciate it. That's weird. Yeah. I had like a just, my high school jesco wasn't really strict at all, but it was more sort of just hemlines more than anything. Were you like serving?

I tried. I tried to pussy's son as much as I could. I was really out there. Did you hit walls? Did you hit barricades? Yeah. I mean, when I was in middle school, I think I was pushing the boundaries more. I was very giving very much so like Ashley Tisdale the Teen Choice Awards like 2002.

Layers. I'm obsessed. I could not. Layered. Love. You know what I mean? being stacked, like camis on camis on camis. Yes.

And like a shawl, just all the colors. Like a skirt, but like over another skirt. Or yeah, over jeans. Two skirts, jeans, tights, two pairs of socks. You're just walking around like Kim Kardashian and Valencia. Like, like, like, Squarespace. Like Ralphine, a Christmas story. I'm just like a marshmallow, just stuffed.

I don't get that reference. You don't get that? Christmas story? You're such a fake white person. That's such a white person movie. A Christmas story? You've never seen that movie? Is that with like the...

It's like you'll shoot. It's like you'll, no, no. Babes, that's Scrooge. You're thinking Ebenezer. With the bunny and that lamb leg? Yes. Yes. I've never, that never, like, I don't know why that.

Honestly, people who have seen that movie, they'll love that joke. And that's for that. I'm just, I could lie to you and be like, ha. They're going to be murdered by that joke. Good. Honestly, thank God. Learn your culture. You need to watch that movie.

I will. That's a white person movie. I'm so sorry. That's like, it's a wonderful life. But I feel like I made up for my whiteness in other ways. I'm sure. Hillary does. I mean like Hillary Ed Sheeran.

There you go. I'm a Watson. I mean, I've got the Holy Trinity. There you go. Like the father, the son and the Holy Spirit. And Hillary Duff's obviously the father. And also the son and also kind of the Holy Spirit. She's all three.

She is all three. She's honestly omnipotent at this point. You're like, okay, so this is about fashion. I'm like, anyways, Hillary Duff. She was born in Texas. We just keep bringing it back. It's so embarrassing. It's just like a biography.

Oh, the, her birthday is September 28th. Yeah, this has embarrassing. Is that true? Yeah, I think it's 1990. No, 1987. Is she Virgo or is she a Libra? Libra. The way I know this is just...

A Libra? I like, don't even know what I... I know I'm like a Scorpy, I don't know anything else. Your brain is just full of Hillary Duff trivia. No, that is like why I'm so stupid. It's because that's all I filled my brain with when I was a kid. I was like, yes, school, I don't think so. I'm in the Hillary Daffan club.

You're like geography? Who needs that? Who needs that when you need to learn Hillary Duff? When you need to literally who needs geography when you need discography? Her movies, her music, her TV show. There you. I'm with you. Honestly, I support it. Thank you. Who needs school. I'm glad I've redeemed myself. Just the school of Hillary Duff. The school of Duff. The Church of Duff. Perfect. Okay, this last comment on here says, what if a woman wants to cover up? Are they then blamed for the objectification done by men? Like, what if she wants to dress modestly, I guess? Then dress modestly. That's the thing is like, no one cares if you want to dress modestly. It's when you

you try to force other people to do it too. Yeah, like no one cares what you're doing as long as you're not like being an asshole. That's why I said no one gives the shit. Just mind your own business. Wear a Halloween costume if you want. Yeah, literally. It's like Kanye West wearing that like creepy mask thing. I'm like, that's fine.

Stop spamming Instagram. Put the phone down. That's fine. Like, I don't care. Do that. Do whatever you want. How weird and fun. That's why I always think I'm like, you could dress like a cat.

I don't care. I don't care. Don't be a bitch to other people. Yeah. You could just, you could dress. you could dress Amish or you could wear dental floss. I really don't give a shit. Literally. I don't even know how that would work, but I'm

down. I'm sure someone's figured it out. I'm down. That's why I said, I just don't care. I don't care enough about other people. I got too much going on. That's what I don't understand. Who are these people who are just like, ugh? Just constantly. Do you not ever, like, what? That's why I always think I'm like, you must not have a job. You must be unemployed or something.

If you do, you're not doing a good job at it. Yeah, you're just, you're never there. Yeah. Get off the internet and work. Get your ass. asses up and work. Yeah, get your ass up and work. Nobody wants to work these days. That is so true. Nobody wants that's so true. I'm corny. You're Kim.

Get your asses up and work. It's like nobody wants to work these days. That's so true. And nobody wants to don't cut me off that. Nobody wants to The look she gives her everything. Literally she's like like the death stare. Speaking of. Anyways, right? I mean, dental floss. I'm sure they've made it work.

Yeah. I'm sure they would. That's this year's MacGella. It's oral. themed. Oral B themed. It's the one in five dentist. I can't wait for Katie Perry to come in a toothpaste bottle with like the hat being the tooth. Or dress as a tooth like Chip Sky like Timmy Turner

type shit. You're so right. Right. You're so right for that. Then that's the song they play on a loop shiny teeth and me. Oh my God. Don't even play. I'm glad you got that reference. And icky Vicky. Hey Vicky. You're so I thought of you makes me oh so sicky. Speaking of

discography. Then we just to go into Timmy Turner. The way my brain is filled with nothing but trash. Like, Chris, when's your brother's birthday? July 6th. Did you say Hillary Duff's birthday? September 28, 1990, 1987. There you go. And 89 maybe.

I thought you said 97 first. No. She's younger than me. Yeah, I was going to say. She was Lizzie McGuire when I was an adult. Perfect. Okay, so now we're going to play a little game. So I'm going to break it up a little bit.

All the Hillary Duff talk. Yeah, no, I really have to like. where we have to take a step outside. Right. So we're going to play a fashion comeback game. So basically I'm just going to tell you like fashion trends from like the early 2000s. You know, Y2K's super in right now.

And then you have to say which one you want to come back, one you hope never comes back and one that you think never should have been a thing in the first place. Got it. So you're giving me three at once and it's like F. Mary unfollow. Exactly. I can't say that K word. Exactly. I love on TikTok all of like the.

I this story trigger warning the story is about a word it's about unaliving yeah yes I'm like I don't know why I get it like I totally get the game I get it guys but like it is I don't like no one talks about it enough like it's wild I know I literally I'm so with you like like oh my gosh F Mary unfollow like that is so funny to me unfollow I'm like I'm like feeling a certain way and I'm like unfollow literally you're just for that I'm gonna unfollow you Just for that. I'm deleting TikTok. Perfect. Okay. So this one says low-rise jeans. Okay. Capri pants.

Okay. And then I think it says, oh yeah, pointy under the knee boots. So like a real pointy boot. Okay. They're like that go all the way up to the knees. I know I love a boot like that. Love that. That's hot.

I don't know what the options wear again. They're. All I have is. Low rise. No, no, what the rankings. Oh, yeah. It's basically. Should have never happened in the first place.

Yeah, never should have happened. You hope never comes back. And one that you hope does. come back. Okay, got it. I wish low-rise jeans never existed. Oh my god, same. Capri's don't need to come back, but if they do go off, mom, you're set. Mom core. And then, yeah, mom core. And then the boots can always be here. Oh my God, the boots. I think they should, I don't think they ever can

leave. I don't think so either. If it's like the pointy, like, the pointy boot that goes all the way up with me. I think that is so sexy. Same. I love a pointy. a pointy ass toe, like a pointy toe boot or a cowboy boot. I'm less into that, but I like it still. But I'm cool with it. Like the knee high pointy. Whoa.

I know. They're so hot, huh? Yeah, low-rise jeans. Why? I mean, like, truly, what? Person. I mean, I was trying to think of the words I could say, and I was like, there's none. No results found.

No, seriously. The person who came up with those, how dare you? What a, what an absolute. What's wrong with you? Why would you terrorize us like that? Oh my God. And I'm like, am I a hater? Because I just like,

it's like half percent of people can wear it. It said if you want to see every inch of this stomach, including the back. I think about that. And I was like, if I was a woman in war that, I'm like, I think my clit would be out. Right. It would be like, hey, guys. They ride that low. Yeah.

They ride that low. I would be so scared about, it's like the same thing about people having nips lips. I'd be like worried that I'd have a clit slip. Do? When girls are like, oh, yeah. Yeah, like, let's bring low-rise jeans back. I'm like, what's it like to live in your ivory tower? What's it like?

What's it like up there? Living the high life, you know what I mean? Literally. I see Julia's Fox and I'm like, are you not worried that your Kanye West is going to pop right out? No, seriously. I literally just can't, like, I think, I just think about posture too. Like, my posture is so shit sometimes when I'm sitting. So, like, can you imagine what your back looks like?

That I just, the whole thing of it to me is like, it's giving plumber. You know what I mean? Plummer under the sink. The whole thing to me is just... To witness is like an eighth wonder. I know. How is this even working? How do they even stay on?

They just rocking it. Mine would be on the ground. Yeah, they have like a big swap meat belt on to like hold them up because they're like writing that... No, seriously. Suspenders would make me like it more, I think. It'd give it a little more... Those would be really long suspenders, though.

Those would be like... Someone can Photoshop it and like send it to us, but those would be frightful suspenders. They would be like from here to like No literally like bunchy cords Just throw the whole concept out Yeah and then Capri pants You know I'm not gonna hate on people who like them

I've got a pair of pants that probably Cut off a little They're like more high rise Or what do you call it when there are shorter legs I don't know what you call it I guess Capri's on jeans Like when your jeans cut off a little bit Isn't that literally what we're talking about a Capri?

Well see a Capri is cinched Sometimes your jeans are just like They fare a little bit higher You know what I'm saying? A capri is cinched? Like it has an elastic? No, like it's tailored. Oh, you mean just like cutoff jeans?

Yeah, I mean like cutoffs. Oh. God, you made me feel like I was speaking another language. No, I was like, no, no, no, I was sitting here. I was like, oh my God, do I know what the fuck? You don't remember what capris are? I was sitting there. I was like, do I not know what a capri is?

A capri are? Capri's son? I mean, I don't even know what I'm saying. I think caprees are at the mom's store. Yeah, no, my mom loves caprees, which is why I was like, I can't say that they would never happen. I love my mom. I don't think there's anything wrong with him.

I don't think, yeah, they're not hurting me. I'm real, I'm real neutral to him. Yeah, I like, I'm not. Do what you got to do, girl. Exactly. Where would you got to win? Low-rise jeans, that is like a clear, obvious answer. That's something that I want to send.

I want to send that back to hell where it came from. I wanted to go right back down there. I'll pay for the shipping. Get out of here. Never come back. You know what I mean? Yeah. I want to besmirch it forever.

It's, I just don't get it. Okay. Next group, right? We have lace up pants. So they're kind of like. Like the ones on the side? No, they're like jeans. And then the middle right here instead of a button, it's like shoelaces.

Got it. I think I've got my answer. Yeah. And then we have dress over jeans, right? Very 2000's core. That's heavy. And then juicy couture sweats. I actually have juicy sweats now.

Yeah, no. I mean, I think after the last two years, it's like to hate sweats would be like just so, such a heinous verbal hate crime to sweats. Like they've been, they really got us all through a. They really did. They were there for us when they didn't want to be. They were like, we're putting in our two weeks. By two weeks we mean today. I would say juicy suits can stay or come back or whatever the best one is.

Yeah, same. Then the one I don't mind is, what was the second one? Dress over jeans. I guess it depends. So I have a follow up about the lace up thing. Is that like the whole zipper? Yeah, everything. It's like instead of like having a zipper or buttons.

Yeah, it's like it's like. Yeah. Like a shoe. That's hell. That's awful. I just think about like the lace up pants like as a guy speaking to stand up and pee. Yeah. That seems like I hate when pants have buttons.

Yeah. I'm like what in what economy? Not this one. Not this one. The next one. We're in a recession. I don't even know what we're in. I don't even know what we're on.

Neither do I. To be perfectly honest. I just know that word correlates. But to then think about lacing. up your pants. Yeah. Like, I hate the dress over jeans, but that one doesn't need to come back. But if it does,

I just think that's like insane. Yeah, you're like lacing up like for the big game. It's like I don't even want to lace up my shoes. Me either. You think I want to lace up my pants every time I'm literally someone that like shoves my foot into my shoe. So I don't have to untie it again. I'm one of those. Oh, yeah, same. Yeah. Or they have like a zipper escape route.

Yeah, I love that. Like when they have the little tie at the back where I can put my finger in I just shove my shoe. See, I've ripped some of those off because like I literally just am like Same. I give myself a flat tire. Yeah that's the only way I give myself a workout. I like wrinkle the absolute shit out of my shoe like

Same people. I like Nike's and people are like they have wrinkles. Yeah. Their shoes. Yeah like you creases. Yeah. You creased your Jordans. Yeah I did.

I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Dude I can't even tell you how many times like my family drags me for this all the time. My shoes like especially the toes in my shoes they get dirty. whatever. Yeah. Or like white shoes. I think I only have one pair of white shoes that I've been able to keep white.

Yeah. We all have that, like one that it's like, I know I will be walking on pristine concrete. Yeah. There's like, there's like a fit shoe. Yeah. Everything else is like. Everything else is like free rain. It looks like I've been hiking in the Himalayas for the last 40 days.

Absolutely. And you know what? Their shoes. That's what I say all the time. I'm all their shoes. Yeah. They're for the ground. Yeah.

What am I supposed to do? Keep them clean. Keep them folded? I was like, I wish I could get up and like show you how I was like, I practiced. trying not to crease my nikes. I walk like a penguin. I'm like, this is impractical. Is everybody doing this and I just don't notice?

What's the point of the shoe at that point? That's what, to put it on a bookshelf? The day I worry about not creasing or dirting my shoes, you just, you know what? That's the day I know that I've like made it to heaven. Honestly, just put bags on my feet and call me a psycho homeless person. You know what I'm saying? I just, I've lost it. I've lost it. I'm out of here.

There's no way. I always say that I'm like, their shoes, they're further ground. What do you want me to say? Yeah, like, obviously I have shoes that I know if I'm doing something maybe little dirty. I won't wear. Yeah, there you go. That's literally as far as my thought process goes to. Same.

I'm like, okay, I don't want to ruin these. I'll ruin those. Yeah, literally, I wear like a beat-up pair of Nikes. And they're like, all those shoes are so ruined. I'm all. There are four hiking or whatever. I'm like, we're about to black out. There you go.

Why do we care? We don't care. It's all right. Next one. The first one, fedoras. Off to a strong start. I know. I'm like, oh, come on.

Then there's sweatbands. Okay. And then trucker hats. Sweat bands? Yeah. Oh, okay. I said sweatpants. Sweat bands, trucker hats.

Oh my God. Trucker hats for life. I love trucker hats. Trucker hats for life. Trucker hats for life. They discriminate against me a little bit because I am a big-headed bitch. See, but I think that's why trucker hats are the move. That's true.

Because they make your heads smaller. Do they? I got a dome. Same. Same hats. I'm a size eight. You know what I'm saying? I don't even know what size I am because I'm almost scared to find out. I'm a seven and three quarters type of which. I can't be insecure about yet another thing. Eight's one of the biggest. It's the biggest they sell in a lids. I want to see what hat size I am because I don't think I'm far behind.

No. I really don't. I have a fat head and like nothing ever fits on it. So that's why I made trucker hats that were like bigger. Oh, love that. Yes. Love that for you. But I think trucker hats are like the move. I think they're in every, like generation thing. Like they'll just keep recycling, honestly, I think. I think. Fedora's gone. Never should have been ever in a million years.

Don't look at me. No eye contact. Sweat bands. I mean, if you're playing a sport, go off. If you're not, it is definitely like, what are you doing? It's a choice. Yeah, it's a choice. For sure. But like, if it comes back, I guess. That's totally fine. I would take a sweatband over a fedora, literally any day. And honestly, it's not

necessarily the fedora. It's the person who wears it. they've given I mean doors are ugly it's both it's both doors are ugly don't get me wrong but I'm saying the person who wears it is almost always the worst person I've ever met in my entire life

yeah no it's why it's like it's like the dude at the at the Vegas pool bar that like won't leave you alone but also like the guy at like the guitar center that you like didn't even want to go with that you're with your friend in yeah and they're like have a really sick fender over there you want to see it and you're like put you in your soul pouch away please

thank you thank you and God bless and here is a courtesy and that like literally the dude that in Miami, like, sits at the restaurant that, like, is up against the sidewalk where all the women are walking? You are so. Open shirt. So, right.

He's wearing a plaid fedora and plaid shorts that don't match. Open shirt. Titty's out, but sunken chest and, like, kind of like a little pooch. I'm getting, like, a tight belly, like that tight, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like, that's, like, tight, but it's like. But no tities, like, sunken in, like, bird chest. You know what I'm saying?

Ooh. No tities or titties? He has tities but a sunken cleatheets. cleavage kind of vibe? But concave. Okay, I've got the pick. And he's like, he's leaning on the rail. That's like coming in from all directions.

Exactly. No shoes, right? Because he's near the beach. He hasn't had shoes in a while. No shoes. Absolute gnarled feet. And he's leaning up against. That's something, that should never come feet.

Put them away. Put them dogs away. If your toenails are multiple colors and not painted, they should not be making eye contact with a single human being. They shouldn't see the light. They shouldn't see the sun. They should not see the sun. They should adhere to vampire rules.

Live in the shadows. I don't want to see it. No. No. He's like leaning up against the railing like cat calling all the women. Talking about calling people mommy. Stupid fedora. And in a fedora.

Calling a mommy's. You are like, you've painted the full goddamn mom-A- You see it. You see the person. I'm watching the movie. And they stink. Like turn it off. Right.

Who casted him? And they bought the bucket of beer and it's on the table, but they're alone. But they're alone. I was just about to say that is, wow, you really are you really paint a picture. There you go. You see that you smell them. You literally can see them. Oh, I can see smell and like almost

taste. No, no. I was gonna and then I was like no and then I was like, well there's been an awkward amount of time just say what you're going to say and then I was like a little beer. Anyways, that's been the show guys, thanks. Okay, so now we're going to get into the second that we're going to just absolutely disintegrate. Love.

And then end up talking about Hillary Duff. No. That's pretty much what we're going to do. No. All our roads lead back to her. I'm trying not to speak about it. All our roads lead back to her. Like she's our Jerusalem.

You know what I mean? Our Jerusalem. Beautiful. Is that in sunset of? I'm sorry. If it is. I thought it was cute. Beautiful.

Okay. So for this next video, basically, like I said, I'm just going to paint you a picture, right? We love visuals. Right. So this man is basically breaking down the history of why women don't have pockets. Yes. Like on their jeans and stuff.

And so he points out that women walked around with like little coin purses, like little coin purse looking pouches on the outside of their clothing. So they like was there was no need for pockets like no functional. Essentially. Mm-hmm. Essentially. Like having these little coin bags on them. Right. And it said the rumor is basically that men at this time thought that women having pockets, would make them more unfaithful.

Ah, yes. You keep all your secrets in there, that's why. You just whisper them into there. You just take your little men and you just put them right in. You just put them right in there. When you're cheating. When you're cheating. Yeah, you just whisper it.

Come with me, Jason. You just put it right in your pocket. Yeah, and then... Like a baby in the Sims. Yeah, and then your husband leaves and you just take Jason out and you're like, get on the bed. You throw him. Which I find so like...

It's like the shit that... That really sets like a good backstory for, like, just men. No, seriously. Like, wow, okay, so we've just always been that stupid, huh? Just like the complete, like the fallacy of it all, the lore that they tell themselves. Like, if anything, I'd be like, those big dresses, you're cheating on me. You've got, like, men under there. There, yeah, no, literally.

Like, someone could be, like, literally going to town on you. And I would have no idea. They're, like, pockets? But, like, literally a pocket, a coin purse. Pockets? For horse. That's how you know. You see them, and you're like,

What do they say? What they say? Ran through. That's what they say on TikTok all the time. Talking about women. They ran through. They're ran through. That's what the kids are calling it these days.

Can you believe that? But what's crazy is aren't the, like aren't men? Doing the running? Doing the running. No, seriously. They're doing the running. I'm so confused. And I don't even care how high the levels are right now.

I don't. I'm sorry, but I don't. They're doing the running. It's crazy to me. It's crazy. You can't win for losing, to be honest. Oh, my God. Because if you have no experience at all, they're like, oh, you're a prude, right?

But then if you have, yeah, like, and then if you do have experience, they're like, ran through. And I say, you know who says that? People who aren't running through shit. They're benched. Sitters. Sitters. They're bench players. They're playing left bench.

They're never seen the field. You know what I mean? They're not running through anything. They're like me in all high school sports. Bench warmer. Benchwarmers. A bunch of bench warmers. That's why I said like it's like one of those things.

I compared it to this analogy once. There's like when you have sports obviously like a football team, something that the men, the men know very well. Thank you for relating it back to stuff. Yeah, I'm trying to relate to the men. Like they. My jersey says death. Death.

28. This is age stuff. Yeah. Anyways, we can't. It's just how to bring her into this segment too. Perfect. Love it. She has an I and DB credit off of this.

You know what I mean? I mean, she's like involved now. Literally, I compared it to like a football team. So like there's like a, you have like a starting lineup, right? It's like the best players. Yeah. And then you have like a second string and a third string sometimes backups. And then you got people that just help keep up morale.

They're like stats, stat boys. My point is the men who say shit like that are stat boys. They're not even on, they're never seen the field. They've memorized all the facts, but it does nothing if you get no experience. You get no playing time. They don't even give me that. They give me like ticket guy energy. It's like you're not even like watching the game.

You can't even see the game. You're at like the gate. It's the guy who got too drunk in the parking lot, got kicked out, couldn't even make it into the game. It's beyond me. It blows my mind. He got too, he got too trashed at the tailgate and couldn't make it in. Which is all, wait, bringing it not to actually bring something back to what we're talking about. Yeah.

Weren't men at this time cheating? All the time. Like all the time. Hold up. Like when the pocket thing. Maybe that's why they're projecting. They're like, I have pockets and I'm cheating on my wife. Like, it's going out of style.

So you can't have one either ran through. Bitch. No pockets ran through. No pockets ran through. Like an old-timey accent. Like a transatlantic accent. I'm like. You're trying to say it.

I'm on Titanic. You're no pockets rant. No, wait. I'm like a geese. You're like, yeah, I was going to say you're old now. I'm like Southern. I'm old. Perfect.

What's transatlantic? It's like almost like a like an old-timey paper boy. You know what I mean? Where they're like, yeah, yeah. Get your paper. Get your paper. Yeah, yeah. Like that I just sound like Pierre Griffin.

Get your paper. This is, I am so sorry. I don't know why this just happens. Honestly, it's a beautiful thing. This is why I shouldn't have the First Amendment. It's literally. I shouldn't. It's a train wreck that we can't look away from.

That's all about us. Me and so many men should not have the First Amendment. I mean, I'll give it to you. I'll grant it to you, honestly. I don't, I'm honored. Thank you. Well, some of the comments on this video Oh, I would love to hear some of the comments for this.

This person said, So that's why my ex-husband had an affair. Pockets. I guess I'm going to learn how to sew, so the next one can't have pockets. That? So funny. Trauma breeds humor.

Yeah. It really does. I mean, literally. It really does. It really does. It's the only thing I'm going for me as trauma. I mean, comedy. It makes you funny, I think.

Oh, I think it either break. you or makes you funny. There you go. There's no, there's no in between. Yeah. There really isn't. You're like, you're like, I can conquer anything. Well, that, that's literally what you just said.

Like, men, men were cheating all the time. Yeah. Literally, though. And they have pockets. Oh my God, so many pockets. You don't know how many pockets a suit has? That's what I say. There's like one, two, three, three, four, maybe a fifth and maybe a six.

It's literally like, just in the top. It's just a never-ending projection. So many rooms for women to just be put into. Literally. Secrets. I'm cheating. Holding secrets. You go my back.

And this one says fashion women's clothes. Tightened during the Victorian era. Less lumps and creases. I don't put stuff in my pants. Pockets are too bulky. It doesn't look nice. I can't really understand that. Okay.

I'm so glad it wasn't only me. She's kind of like, oh my God, I think she's finishing and she's going to throw it to me. Ah, dear, and headlights. She could have been speaking simlish for all I know. I really don't. Oh my God, that's all I heard. It was like last Friday night simlish edition.

I think what she's trying to say is. is she doesn't use her pockets so she doesn't care. Okay. For you, girl. I mean, again, go pocketless. Nobody cares what you want to do. Just don't try to control what other people do.

Like, it all just stems back to that. It really does. Mind your business. Just mind the business that pays you. That's important. If you don't like me, that's okay. But watch your mouth.

It's true. It's true. That's literally my whole life. That's honestly a summary of my whole life. And then... I just think this pockets thing is insane. It's insane. It truly is.

Out of everything? Pockets. That's just odd. How that's like a red herring almost. Like it's almost like a scarlet letter. Is it because like they put money in there and it's like what could they be doing with that money going to get dinner? Like I mean,

even that feels like an insane thing. That honestly makes the most sense to me. Out of everything I read about that. Women can't have money. Yeah. They can't have. Oh, I mean, maybe that is why because they would have to ask for money. Maybe.

Or maybe they're just stealing. They're just stealing virginities. I should have paid attention in literally who. history class. I'm just like any class. This says, why do you think we announce our dresses with pockets with such joy? You know when like women find out their dresses.

Oh my God. I get it though. They're like, oh my God, I can't believe it has pockets. I can cheat now. I can be a whore. I can be a big. Be a whore. Big fat whore.

Oh, I could just lose it. BFW, baby. Just just bust it open for everyone. Yeah. They see those pockets. They know what's up. They know what time it is. 10 to 2.

What you're busting it open to. Okay. Okay, so like some things to know are like some people are thinking like our pockets not included on women's clothing to make them more dependent on men. I guess in the sense of like having to rely on them for stuff like money like you said. But also, you know, women are almost always expected to have purses. So that's why I'm saying like that's where I don't, I get confused. Yeah, it's like pick a side. Yeah, you don't want pockets but you're cool with a purse.

But you're giving me a whole duffel? That's what I'm saying. You know what I can fit in a duffel versus pocket? No. seriously. That's the part that confuses me. What also blows my mind when it's like when guys are too afraid to wear a bag? Yeah. Or they call it a man bag.

Or a Mers. A Mers. Oh, God. They call it a satchel. Anything. It's a purse. It's a bag. Who cares? Indiana Jones had a purse. Do you know what you can fit in there? So we're still on pockets. We're fascinated. We are. We're enthralled by the conspiracy.

Do you think that's where pocket pussy comes from? That they were like your, oh wait, no, that wouldn't even make sense. Well, they're like women don't need it because they have their own. True. Men need a pocket to hold it. That's so true. What if that was the ultimate conspiracy? Someone just time traveled back and told them about pocketpossies.

It's not because it's like a thing that can fit in your pocket. It's like strictly they're like you're going to name it this because you have to put it in your pocket. There you go. That's that. And you're going to take away pockets from women. That's honestly a conspiracy I can get behind. Yeah, why not? You know what I mean?

I can get behind anything at this point. I'm just kind of like, whatever. What's next? Like really unfazed at this point. Yeah. And like I guess you know like the whole conspiracy of it it was like sometimes they thought that women didn't have pockets to get them to buy more bags like it's almost like a capitalism thing. Oh. Which I think would make sense.

Which is so funny because men were like the owners of purse companies. No seriously. And they wouldn't carry purses. No. Why would they? That's why when we were talking about immerse and stuff like men could very easily use bags because they carry a lot of shit. Yes. A ton of stuff.

My bag is like 20 pounds every time I go out with my boyfriend. It's also like a full weapon. Yeah, he's like, can you hold this? I feel safe. Someone ran up on me. No, seriously. No running through. I will not be run through.

Not here. Not here. Not here. Literally my boyfriend's like, can you hold this? Can you hold this? Can you hold this? I'm like stacking it all in my purse. See, that's where I've like started asking for money.

I'm like, okay, Venmo me. That's such a genius idea. And then I'm like, I don't have to work anymore. I just have to be a social butterfly. This is so off topic, but like, you know, my boyfriend. Oh, as if I haven't been this whole episode. I'm like, this is so up. You're like, I hate to be off topic.

I'm like, Drew Barrymore, calm down. It's okay. There's like, you know how like my boyfriend? He bears like a passing resemblance to Aquaman, like Jason Momoa. Yeah, which is crazy because you're a boyfriend. Like Jason Momoa is in the same category as like The Rock, like just straight up terrifying. But your boyfriend doesn't terrify me at all. No, yeah.

Jason Momoa, if he was running straight out. me. What would you do melt? Just all the skin melt off your bones. I would liquefy every inner of me and it would fly out of me at volcanic rates. That's what I'm saying. This is so off topic because you were talking about charging people to hold shit in the purse, right? I was literally like, I went through a period of time. Like when Aquaman came out, hell on earth for the two of us. Mostly for him, but a lot of for me too because I have to like bear witness to it.

Yeah. But everywhere we went. Like, you know who you look like? Everywhere we went. So it still happens to this day, but like now that I'm like, I don't know, more famous than him, they tend to ask me for the pictures. Can you hold this baby? Just like a slight flex. I'm like, can you take the pictures?

Anyways. That's always the best when you're with your family or something and you're like, can you take the picture? Yeah. I'm like, make sure you get a good angle. Yeah. Literally. And so like with him, when people would literally ask to take pictures with him, which I find odd because. Because they knew it wasn't him.

They knew he's not the real. They know it's not the real Jason Moa. It'd be different if they got confused and they thought it was really him. If they were like, Jasonamoa, I love you. Yeah, no, no, no. They knew damn well that was not him.

And they still wanted pictures, which is weird. No, that's like weird. And then I, and because I got so sick of it, because when women did it, it was creepy, right? Especially older women. They'd get like real creepy. Because it's almost like they're like,

I'm two steps from the grave. I'm just going to lose it. I'm just going to be, I'm going to throw. This is what I, I'm putting my pussy in the wind and I don't care. I don't care what anybody says. It's going to flutter.

Right? They're literally, they're going to smell it. My pheromones. Like, they're just all over that. When they would do that, I literally started saying,

I was going to charge people $5. You should have, though. I was like, that'll be $5. To be funny, they never found it funny. No, because they were like, are you, wait,

really? And they were like, or they would say you look like Jason and I was like, oh my God, I get that all the time. I just cut them off. Like, they're talking to me.

Swinging a miss. I was like, is this thing on? Nobody liked my jokes. Nobody was digging up. Nobody appreciated it. Nobody appreciated comic in my time. But that's like the difference between you and the average person. There you go.

You're not average. I'm like, I literally carrying around a mic. I'm like, hello, thank you. It is Jason Mamoa. You go like, what are you doing? I'm just performing a stand-up routine. Give me $5. I'm workshoping jokes.

I'm working on my stand-up. You're workshopping being his stunt double. You're like, I really need to do on the ground research. I'm like, that's, anyways, that's why I said that was so Autopic, but I started telling people it'll be $5. I think that's a good idea. Right? Start charging your boyfriend.

I mean, at the end of the day, I'm a girl boss first. I'm a girl boss. I gaslight and I gate keep. That's all I do. That's a girl boss shed. That's my mission statement. I can't even say the word girl boss. Yeah, that's something to look into, Doc.

Like, hello? I'm like, okay, so Siri, schedule me a doctor's appointment. Psychiatrist check-in Anyways, back to pockets Right? Back to pockets That's where we were Almost speaking of the doctor

Let's get back to pockets Right My trail Oh yeah The thread, you know what I mean It tracks It all makes sense Someone got me map quest I'm lost

Honestly the person who edits this I'm so sorry Every time I record my podcast I'm literally like I am already sorry for you But I'm so sorry basically I mean essentially what are our

what of our finishing thoughts as far as like fashion when it comes to both men and women or men's standards just like shut the front door and mind your business I got little derailed

because I had to had to check what I was saying just like literally shut up yeah just shut up and like do your thing don't be offensive keep your dick in your pants It really is so simple Yeah, just control yourself, I think, more than anything

I just don't understand, like, of everything going on in the world You really can't keep it in You can't move your eyes five degrees this way Yeah, it's really not that hard, I don't think I mean, for me personally But I have some semblance of self-controls I'm sorry, I literally think all the time too And I don't even feel like I'm special, sorry to cut you off

No, you're fine. Oh, like, I don't, I'm like, oh, it drives me insane. Yeah, it, it truly makes no sense to me. I'm not even like a decent, like I'm a fine person. I'm a normal. It's so easy. You know, you know how sometimes you're driving? Like, let's say you're driving on the road.

And then you think to yourself, what if I just ran myself off this road? Like, just the impulsive thoughts they creep in. Do you know who you're talking to? Of course I have. So you're like, what if I just ran over those people right now? Like those impulsive thoughts? Oh my God, absolutely. That's like, men are.

capable of controlling those. Yes. You know what I'm saying? I was just talking about this with my friend the other day. Like having a weird thought isn't bad. Or like an impulsive thought or whatever. It's very normal.

The amount of time you spend thinking about that thought is what makes a weird. Or voicing it to other people. To the internet. Taking it anything beyond a one second. Oh wow. Why did I think about that? Okay, next.

Yeah, like I'm saying. Because it happens. When you're driving your car and you're like, what if I just ran these people down? Yeah. I think that all the time. Oh. All the time.

Have I done it? Never. Never? Because that would make me a serial killer. Absolutely. But I'm saying that's like men who are incapable of like keeping it in their pants. I just don't get. They give over to those thoughts too much.

I just don't get. It's like when I love it when I film street interviews. Yeah. And it's just you see like you can just tell a hot girl that is objectively going to get looked out. Yeah. You're like you just know. So you just watch. And it is so incredible.

Yeah. It's wild. The neck turn. I just did that and I feel like I pulled something. Just so what? I could see someone's ass that is covered with clothes? With clothes, yeah. Like, bro, get internet connection and go to pornhub.com.

You're going to lose your mind. And handle your business. You're going to lose your mind. Literally just Google anything. I just don't get it. I don't get it either. Especially butts, but mostly because you know what comes out of bots? Poop.

Poop. Are you on the same wavelength as me? butts are like a horrible situation. Nothing good comes out of there. Nothing good comes out of there. Not a single thing. It's waste. Once in a blue moon, it's like a fart that smells decently tolerable. It's poop. That's literally what I think. I'm like, you know what's in there? Poop. That turns you on? That is so horrific.

You think about poop and you're like, I'm rock hard. Oh my God. It freaks. Wicked up. Out. Me too. I just like, I literally think about like my thoughts get that nuance. People talk about eating us. I'm like, Not even a clean one. Not even one that's been... Water's been put in. It's been shaken a little.

No. Wow. That is... When it comes to men, there's no way. You got about a... Probably like an 80, 20 chance that that ass is clean. And I'm saying... Are you trying to give them the benefit of the doubt?

No, I'm including gay men in that. And trans men. Got it. I'm including them. Got it. So that's my 20%. I was like, that's why there's a little bit more of a percentage. They're about 19.8%.

The last point two, that's straight men. You said what I'm saying? 100%. I'm including them. I'm being included. Got it. Okay, good for you. I was just targeting.

They're clean. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But, you know, dudes get a one, that like 12 pack of Irish Spring and just lose their minds. They just go off the rails. Some of that shit should be banned. I'm sorry. Irish Spring makes you rough.

Have you-act? The fact that that is still legally being sold in stores. That to me is bang energy. It's the band. bang energy of sense. It's just the, it's like, it's, it's, it's twin. It's just truly horrible. You could put them next to each other and I'd say, they both could be soft drinks.

They both could be deodorant. It's like spot the difference, but you can't. They're the same picture. Exactly. It's, I hate, oh my God. And a bang energy drink. The energy is the same. That's the starter pack for my worst nightmare.

And pockets, whole bunch of pockets. Whole bunch of pockets. Irish spring. Just for so much infidelity. For all the cheating. Just a pants of pockets. For all. for all, that's probably why cargo pants exist.

Because they need it for all. I need it for all the different people. All the adulterous activities got to fit them. I don't know why that's my immediate like pervert voice. Sorry. Like John Wayne. It's like a cowboy. I don't know.

Honestly, I'm just happy to be here. So what's your takeaway? Honestly, my takeaway is the same. Mind your goddamn business. It's really not that hard. Mind the business that pays you. That's why I think. Me trying to break down that sounds.

I literally think that you should worry about washing your ass more than what other people are wearing. Well, yeah. I think priorities. I could like really go on a crazy tangent that no one wants me to go on about just like the absolute hypocrisy of like... Basic hygiene. You're pointing a finger at me that has a poop stain on it because you reached in your pants to smell. I don't think so. No.

You can't do that. And they'd be itching their balls and just touching their face. Okay. I'm definitely guilty of that. I'm definitely guilty of that. I'm so sorry. Your own face, though. Yeah.

Well, that's fine. I'm not touching my balls and touching someone else's face. Oh my God, what am I? I'm just saying I wouldn't put it past most straight men who do that. Okay. You know what I mean?

I wouldn't put it past you and I was like, what do I give off? And it turns out I hate you. Storm out. Bust this wall down. Honestly, I saw a TikTok once. Maybe you saw it. And this girl was like filming her boyfriend.

Like she was pretending to take a picture. And what she was really doing was zooming in on a man in the back who was barefoot in the restaurant. He was rubbing his feet, like, giving himself like a foot massage. And then he was, like, reaching over and, like, touching the chips and shit. I think I've seen this. Yeah, I think you've seen it. I was literally thinking if he reaches for something afterwards, I've seen it. Yeah, it had that scary music in the background.

That literally made me cry laughing when I watched it. Or, like, the Whole Foods, like, Hot Bar videos you see of, like, people just, like, touch. And then they just use their hands. That's what I'm saying, like, touching your foot in a restaurant. Put them dogs away. Feet should never even see a restaurant. They should, you should take them off before you come in. Your foot as a whole.

If we all could have our feet removed and still be able to function as normal, I would be so down. Literally, I told when Manny was here, I literally told them like, I want you to pop your feet off like a brat's foot. Yes. You know, you just take it off? Yes. You know what I mean? Absolutely. I don't want to see it.

Men only. Tap, tap off. Yeah. I want to. Like you're in heels, but they're just pegs. Just like when you take your shoe off, you have nothing underneath there. That sounds like a dream. It sounds like a fan.

fantasy. That's lore. That's the kind of lore I'm into. Listen, call me crazy, but take my feet. I'm like, okay, like by 2050, no feet. That's my, that's my mission. Then I can't run through or run up. What was it? It's ran through. Then you can't be ran through. You can't run through others. I can't run through someone. I can't ran through. Anyways, let's wrap this up. That's honestly perfect. See you later. Okay. Thank you so much for joining us. That's going to do it for today's episode of the comment section show. I want to thank my wonderful, amazing Hillary Duff

obsessed guest, Chris Clemens, thank you so much for being here. I adore you. Thank you for having me. I love you so much. I love you so much. I'm sorry if I talk too much. No, I definitely do. You didn't talk enough for me personally. Oh, okay, well, let's redo it. So there you. We just started... Cut, I didn't like any of it. It's not approved.

Honestly, I adore you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I had the most fun ever. I had so much fun. I did. Oh my God, I'm such a good time. Same. We're both two good times. Two blasts and a glass. That's us.

Love that. AMFs. That's an inside joke. That's an inside joke. Unless that was in the episode. Well, now we're going to go run over each other. But before we do that, where can everybody find you on your handles? My name.

Chris Clemens. Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok. I think that's all. Perfect. And you're also a business owner. I am. I own middle kid. Love that.

And also you have a podcast. Oh yeah. And I also. I know more about you than you. I'm hands with Chris Clemens, which we're going to get you on. I love that. And I honestly kind of wanted to be a little schmerton episode.

Oh, I would love that. I don't know if you do that, but let's, we'll talk. We'll talk. My people talk about me. Honestly, you're my Hillary Duff. I know everything about you. Stop.

Really? What's my middle name? middle kid clothing cut no what's my middle name you don't have one I do have one what's your middle name

that's for me and the government I'll tell you mine Joseph oh love that cute Chris Joseph Christopher Joseph I knew your name was Christopher I had a feeling I had a feeling well I didn't know some before named Chris it really? Oh oh it really

Yeah. Just like, CHR-I-S? Yeah. Whoa. Chris Pratt. Oh, I was like, I didn't come in here

trying to like fool you. I was not like, I was like, Brad, nice to meet you. I mean, I was like, Hey, Chris.

My middle name's Tyson. That's hard. So it's Drew Tyson off wallow. And people still have the nerve to f*** with you. To try me. And I'm six feet tall. Yeah.

Oh my God. You were so much taller than I thought. Yeah. I don't know what I thought. But like, I was shook. You said, I was like.

That's literally what everyone says. Wow. It's iconic. I'm a big bitch. I've been saying this. Nobody believes me. Drew Tyson. There you go.

That's hard. Right? Shut up mom. Yeah, I'm like, where the hell were you when I was born? My mom was like, well, I guess the most popular name, Chris, and then we'll flip to a page in the Bible. Joseph. Perfect. I think it fits you perfectly.

People are like Apple. That's so important. I'd kill for the name of Apple. It's a little bit of flavor of the spice. Right? What's your name again? Love that. But now you're Chris Clemens.

the very famous Hillary Duff Obsessed. Perfect person. I love that. So embarrassing. Thank you so much for joining us today on the comment section show. If you want to be featured in a video, make sure you tag me in your favorite TikToks that you want me to bring here. Just absolutely tear down to its very last atom.

You know what I mean? Just reduce it to the very cells they came in. Vaporize. Absolutely. I just incinerate it. That's what I do constantly here. You don't vape. You vaporize.

Period. I'm going to put that on a shirt. I was going to say you can have that one. It's my charity for the week. TM. You go T.M. Take it. Thank you so much for joining us today. And make sure you tune into the comment section show on all streaming services.

And also check in to the Pasture Bedtime YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Wednesday. And thank you so much for Chris Clemens for joining us today. Love you the most. And thank you for joining us. Bye.