The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - FASHION IS AN ART Ft. Griffin Maxwell Brooks

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

Video available on Spotify. Griffin Maxwell Brooks joins Drew on the show this week to talk all things fashion and navigating gender expression online as a creator. They talk about being a rave DJ, the chaos of New York Fashion Week, using style to make a statement, how Griffin rose in popularity on social media while still in college, and so much more! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Griffin: IG / TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I want people to be confused as to why they're attracted to me. I want people to look at me and be like, I'm into this. I'm into this. They're confused and a little scared. Right. Yeah. Because of their attraction, tears. They're like, what do I feel this way?

What's wrong with me? What do I feel like this? Exactly. That's so tea. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your favorite. Everybody knows me. Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

On to the amazing guests. Today we have the wonderful, the iconic, the legendary Griffin, Maxwell Brooks. Hey, I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to finally have you. Griffin and I have been trying to sync up for over a year. A year. Every time I see you, I'm like, let's do it. And you're like, I know, I know.

We have to make it happen. And then I feel like I'm terrible at texting, which doesn't help. Same. But it's just kind of like, oh my God, I love you. I miss you. When are you free? I'm like, I'm free in a month and a half. Yeah.

And then we never connected a month. Yeah. We've been playing that phone tag for over a year. But now we're here. Well, also you were in school. It's true. You're being studious. Yeah.

I was being studious. And now, yeah, and now I'm not. Now you're free. Now I'm free is a good way to describe it. Tell everyone what you majored in. I was a mechanical engineering major at Princeton University. Yes. And I did exactly what mommy and daddy wanted me to do and I am a DJ.

Now you're a rave rat. Yeah, it's true. Love that. You're a raver, a rave E, and a rave DJ. Yeah. Love in the New York City. I'm just silly and hilarious. I'm just like a goofy little girl that loves to do a little two-step.

Mostly. That's mostly what you do. I love that. Yeah. Oh, I do lots of things. I'm so happy to have you. I'm so glad you finally got to be on the show. First off, for those who don't know your lore, I know your lore. I'm very familiar with it. But you started TikTok when you were in college. Yeah. So I kind of started it like when the pandemic hit and I went home. And then I went like AWOL for a moment because I was like, oh, what am I doing with my life? Kind of, it just started out as like a silly little thing that I did for fun. And then I began to embarking.

on this like journey of self-expression for myself that I think a lot of people related to. Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of it was just kind of like social, like political stuff. A lot of it was like fashion and like gender identity. I'm like fashion through gender identity. And like my own like, I don't know, just like journey on like coming into my own coming into my identity like coming out like what four times now. It changes every month. I'm not, you know, whatever. I'm just, yeah. But that's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of your platform and having people like you exist on certain platforms, especially, because you see a different kind of representation, especially not just representation in general, obviously is being like a non-binary person or trans person in general,

but also navigating that journey of like discovering it, discovering what you like, discovering what you don't like, like how you express yourself, whether it's through fashion or art. Yeah, it was beautiful. I mean, I feel like I grew like alongside. people. Yeah. And like in cultivating this community. It's weird that people like look up to me because I feel like I look to like my

followers for like my own like like for advice and for my own kind of like what to do next in my journey. But yeah, I don't know. It was like it just kind of happened. It just kind of snowballed and now here we are. And yeah, I don't know. I feel like I spread myself out really thin and like in terms like what content I create. Oh yeah.

because I just kind of like, I don't know, my content is just like, what am I doing today? Like, I'm going to get dressed up or I'm going to go, I don't know, like wherever. I'm going to go to six flags and make a meme about it. Like I think it was just kind of random, but all through the lens of like, I think my own journey of like identity and self-expression. Yeah. Now here we are. Well, how was that journey? I'm so curious because I obviously when I went to college, like I didn't have any sort of platform at all.

I cringe to think if I did if I had any sort of influence. at that time because it's such a different time in your life like you're growing through you're going through almost like I call it like a pseudo adult phase like you're an adult but you're not fully independent yet but you discover so many things about yourself and who you are and so how was that having navigating having the platform while you were going to school at the same time was it did it make it harder did it make it weirder or was it more fun it was like it's interesting because it was a little disjointed you know I I gained the following while I was, like, away from school because I was just doing it online during the pandemic.

And then I had, like, a bit of a following, not, I think enough to have, like, kind of like, the brand, you know, the, like, GMB LLC that we're at right now. But, like, you know, I, like, returned to school. And I was an athlete, too. I was a springboard diver at Princeton. Period. So that was, yeah. It was an interesting space to navigate. That was a whole other thing.

Yeah. It was just saga after saga. But it was interesting. I think it enhanced the college experience in that. I felt like I had this escape that I didn't have, like, otherwise. I think Princeton is, like, a bit of a polarizing place. There's a lot of privilege in, like, being in a place like that, but at the same time, like, being somebody who, like, sticks out even a little bit

in such, like, an uptight place, like, immediately makes that experience a bit jarring. Yeah. I think it was a useful resource. It was a little bit isolating at times. Also, just because, like, I felt like I was, like, adulting on the side. You know, I felt like I was, like, I was, like, a dulting on the side. I felt like I it was weird because school began to feel like the like the side hustle you know and then I'm like doing social media full time and I'm like going to my silly little like engineering classes. It's a robot that I built like now it's fashion week.

But yeah, I don't know. I think it taught me a lot, you know. It was I didn't have free time like ever. Yeah. Because you're working on and off the clock kind of thing. And that was like athletics too. Like it just. Oh my God.

I mean it's part of the reason I ended up like retiring like a year. early because it was just like I don't I currently were getting like a solid two hours to sleep a night which fun fact not enough in case you weren't aware right but yeah I don't know it's it's interesting now being on the other

side of it and looking back and being like oh like how did I manage all of that how did I wear so many hats at once I don't even know how you did that's why I said like I can only imagine how difficult that must have been and also so strange Like because you're this entirely huge presence online and then you're also going to school at the same time like the navigating of that I can't even imagine because yeah I got my mind when I was an oldie so like when I was an older person I got my platform. Yeah, I don't know. It was interesting. It also it it sort of helped the like the kind of like separation in that like my like you know my fan base wasn't like Princeton students really. It's just like it was like random queer people around the world like who were simultaneously having like like the kind of like. a crisis in the mirror.

Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Do you see a lot of response from your audience where they're like, they feel represented by you? Like, do they feel like you have made their own personal journeys, like, easier navigating, like, gender and self-expression and just, like, existing in the world as who you really want to be perceived as? Yeah. I mean, like, that's kind of the reason I, like, I, I vividly remember, like, the moment, like, which I was in which I was, like, first, like, recognized in public. Yeah.

And somebody came up to me. And they were just like, oh, like, I like your TikToks. And I was like, oh, thank you. And then they were like, yeah, like, like, watching you do what you do and just, like, exists, like, helped me realize, like, that I was non-binary. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet. Sweet. It was a little terrifying for me. I was like, I'm impacting people in ways that I can even impact myself.

A girl boss way too close to something. But yeah, I mean, it's the reason, like, I do it. It's, like, hearing that, like, feedback and, like, listening to people speak about coming into themselves and, like, coming into their identity. Not, like, because of me, but, like, in tandem with me and, like, feeling inspired by me was, like, oh, like, people want this. Like, people, like, see this representation and it's useful. Yeah. I'm going to keep me as hard as I can. Especially, I think, too, because obviously you're known for your outfits.

Yeah, it's serving. Sometimes, if you will. Yeah. Sometimes we're serving hilarity. Sometimes we're just kind of getting a rise out of people. Yeah, I love irony. I'm a big fan of irony. I think your outfits are so iconic, and a lot of people have really gravitated towards you,

especially lately, because you've had the platform for a minute. But I feel like, especially within the last, like, year, your outfits have been like, people have been like wow that's like so incredible like do you uh do you ever get a lot of questions about where you get your fashion inspiration from yeah i mean i speak about it sometimes because i think like fashion was always like a um like a tool i used to express myself and but it sort of changed when i like was living in new york and i started like working and like um like having a presence in night life um because it was inspired by like the 90s club kids and like the aesthetic of like like drag queens and club kids and, you know,

just, like, nightlife presences because of how outrageous it was. Yeah. And how it was such a vessel for, like, breaking the boundaries of expression in a way that I think doesn't happen, like, anywhere else. Like, I think, like, specifically in nightclubs,

people are, like, there is, like, this essence of, like, expression through, like, drama and, like, almost like a characterization. Yeah. Or it's, like, look at me. And I was like, I love that. Like, I feel like we need to see this

more. Yeah. And when I started doing it, it was more just like, it started out, like, I'm going to wear something that I like, and then it became like a, this is kind of like a political statement, you know? I want to look iconic. I'm going to piss some people off. Like, I want to look silly.

I want to like push the boundaries. I want to be people question, like, what they like and why they like it. Yeah. And that, yeah, I don't know. One day I wore a headlamp and the entire internet decided they were mad at me. And I was like, okay, let's just be silly. They're pissed off at you. Yeah.

They said you did too much. Which I think is... But I love doing too much. Yeah, well, that's like your whole thing. Yeah. And I think that's so... First of all, cunt. But second of all, I feel even with your platform,

especially about your videos about your fashion, what I love about it is you're constantly emphasizing that clothes are not gendered because they aren't. They don't have genders. You can wear literally anything you want whenever all the time. And at the same time, like you said, you're pushing boundaries. Like you're trying new silhouettes. You're trying new accessories.

Like stuff that's just fun. and it's self-expression, and I love that shit. I love a maximalist girl. When I see maximalist fashion people on TikTok, I eat it up. I watch every second of it. I can't keep you up with some of these girls.

You know, like Sarah Camps? Yes. I love her. I love her. I'm like, where are you getting these things, girl? Yeah, just like a tiny Jewish girl. Same thing, Clara. Same thing.

I know, and she dressed you. I saw your guys' videos together. She lives, like, up the road from me. I absolutely love that kind of look. because I feel like what's so cunt about it is like you just would never think. You would never think to put those pieces together. And that's what fashion is. It's art.

Have you had those kinds of like, this is so ugly, this is so like I would never wear this, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like those kinds of hate comments. Yeah. That's like fuel for me. I love that. I hate this. I'm going to wear it again. You like save the comments.

Yeah. Well, like also just because at the end of the day, like it's just like fabric and nonsense straped over somebody's body. And for some reason, like, makes people mad. Right, yeah. And, like, years of, like, conventional beauty standards, like, forcing people to, like, feel the need to present in a way, which is just based on, like, all types of prejudice. Yeah.

Like, forced them into thinking, like, oh, like, a man can't wear a skirt. And I'm like, okay, watch me. Like, now what? Your man can't wear a skirt. Right. Your man can't pull off a skirt, babe. You will be ashamed. I think, too, even, like,

You know, it's so funny. When I first started doing this and I started going to events and stuff, like when I first started trying new kinds of silhouettes or looks, like, I remember getting like certain commentary where I was kind of like, well, I felt great in it. Like, I thought it was cunt, so I wore it. Right. Right.

And then people are like, that's so ugly, that's so this, that's so that. Well, girl, when you get invited to a carpet, wear whatever you want. Right. And that's the T, isn't it, bitch? We'll see how you look. We'll see how you feel. Yeah. Whenever I see, like, I get commentary when they're like, that's so ugly, I would never wear that.

One of the first things I do is I go and look at what they wear. Oh, absolutely. And I feel better. So much better. You feel instantly better. Wait, it's always a bitch in sweatpants. He's like, I hate this outfit. I'm like, I'm sure you do.

I'm sure you put them pull it off. I hate yours. So I guess equals. Yeah. Yeah. What's even crazier is, like, if someone that was considered conventionally attractive by all facets of of bigotry, whatever, white supremacy, Eurocentric beauty centers, whatever they may be. Yeah.

If someone wore that, then everyone would be like, oh, it's a serve. Oh, my God. Oh, I hate it so much. I hate it. My biggest quorum right now is, like, there's, like, I feel like people are going back to, like, minimalism in a way that just is like, I don't know. I keep seeing those, like, breakdowns of, like, Jacob Lordy's fits. And, like, love him. No hate to him.

He looks great. Like, but it's all very, like, casual clothing people are, like, dissecting the outfit. I'm like, girl, he put on jeans. Yeah. And a cut off shirt and a little coach bag. He looks great. Yeah. But it's not like, no, people are like, it's not like, no, people are like, oh, it's not

serving. Like it's not like, you know what I mean? Like I'm like, give it. Sometimes I think it's like give it to me. I want to see it. Like I want you to serve me. But I even even so like for me, I genuinely believe like fashion is art. Right. It's an art. It's a self-expression. So whatever you feel beautiful in, whatever you feel cut in, that's what you should wear. And I just feel like don't throw stones if you're living in a glass house girl. So like when people say shit to me about my looks and I go and look and you're just like a don't throw stones from the vineyard vine. story. If I go and look at what you're looking and your outfit is super plain and boring to me, like I mean, yeah, of course you're not going to like what I'm wearing. Yeah, I also just, I think people who were like

the first of their kind are never appreciated in the moment, you know? Period. Like, people who... Like Julia Fox. That's a perfect example of someone who was serving it and they didn't get her. No one gets it. At first, they did not get her.

Before her time. And like, if you're before your time, it means that During your time, people hated you. I'm like, if people hate me now, I'm doing something right. That's so tea. Especially someone like Julia, because her outfits, everyone, the way they memed the hell out of her, they were trying so hard to make fun of her outfits. And now, look, now everybody's recreating some of her iconic books. Everybody wants to be her.

She's ahead of her time. What I loved about her, too, is it's like the combination of like the sexy and the grotesque, where it's like a very cunt outfit, but there's also something weird about it. Something off-putting. Yeah, I like that. I want people to be confused as to why they're attracted to me. I want people to look at me and be like, I'm into this. Why am I into this?

You're confused and a little scared. Right, yeah. Because of their attraction, tea. They're like, what do I feel this way? What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? Exactly. That's so tea.

That's actually a really good point. And, you know, Griffin was actually wearing a suit of armor at Fashion Week. Oh, my God. A suit of armor and was photographed and it was posted everywhere. Absolutely. That is heavy, girl. Is that actually? Suit of armor.

Literally sourced it from like a mutual of mine who was like the armor girl at FIT when that video went viral of her wearing like a suit of armor and I was like okay Obviously we need to be friends. Yeah Like will you style me in the armor and she was like let's do it Because I was just like I don't fashion make that was for the cleanest strata show Yeah. When I'm here for designers. Love you tamer like also there's such like a I don't know It's like awesome clothing and also just such like a like an attention to like detail in terms of like sustainability but yada yada yada Every time that's always my favorite show to like turn a look at because I'm just like like I want to be Cooky and crazy like I want to show up I would don't want people to like expect

Anything I want to show up and like completely blow away their expectations Yeah, I think also like like like fashion week too there is like a like a like a polarization in the pageantry like some people are looking To serve in a way that's very like palatable from like a commercial I feel you sense and I'm like that's my worst nightmare like designer out yeah yeah Yeah I don't I love a late Don't get me wrong. Okay. Yeah. That being said, like,

if you're designer out, like, quiet luxury is like my worst enemy. I'm like, what do you mean quiet luxury? You just mean boring clothes you spent too much money on. Yeah. And that's too.

That's what I love about you, though, is like you're not afraid of a look. That's why I love someone who's not afraid of a look. No. Like even someone, like if you think about someone like Zendaya, right, who's obviously she's so high fashion,

she's so poppy, she's so famous, she's so beautiful. But when she was first coming out and she was trying new looks, people were like, this is so ugly this is so big like was she wore that bubble hair at the kids choice of words like her hair was like churned in everyone made fun everyone was like that's so ugly that's like now look no it's true ahead of her time i miss like the like the swag like over filtered zendaya from like the two intends you know which it's like the mirror like instagram filter i was oh yeah she was ahead of her time right she was right off shake it up fresh off shake it up fresh off shake it up she had nothing but like i don't know a hoodie and a dream to prove exactly Yeah, that's like, literally a cheetah print pant and a dream.

What a time. Who would you say is your, like, fashion inspo as of right now? I know, I'm sure it changes some staples other than you. Your mind. God, it really just changed, like, a lot. Yeah. Oh, God. I've been trying to, like, pay more attention to, like, designers.

Just because whatever, like, I work in fashion. I'm like, I need to know my shit. Before I was just like, this looks crazy. let's wear it. Like, like, designer-wise, like, I, like, kind of have been living and dying

by Glenn Martins. Like, I love everything he does. Diesel, Y, project, whatever. Yeah. In terms of, like, long-term influence, like, in my fashion. I mean, there are, like, some of my peers. Like, staples.

Yeah. I mean, Clara, like, tiny Jewish girl has always inspired me. Love. Same with Sarah Camps. I think, like, when I first started doing, like, the club looks, it was a lot of, like,

James St. James. And even, like, Amanda LaPour and, like, like, the club kids of like the day. I mean, also just like... I mean, also just like... I mean, a little of course

such an icon. Oh, God. I love that woman with all my heart. Every time I see her, I'm like, oh, you look so beautiful. It's just... And then she's off with the night.

Cool. She just disappears in the smoke. She's got places to be. The girl is booked, so what can I say? I guarantee it. Yeah. Um, God, I don't know. It's hard to pinpoint like style icons for me because I feel like my taste

fluctuates so frequently too. But I love that though, because then it's just ever evolving. Like, you have some people that you constantly reference or go reference or go back to and then you have people that knew people that kind of appear. I'm like just now dipping my like very very very one singular

toe into fashion. I'm like just barely getting into it. It's like an industrial complex there's so much going on. There is so much going on girl you don't even know what to look at and even for myself like as like I'm a bigger girl even when I talk to stylist because I'm sure you style yourself obviously right because you're literally you have the brain to style yourself.

when I talk to stylist I so often like because I'm so curious Have you thought about going into styling at all? Or fashion in general? I have. I think it makes me nervous just because I think my like fashion is so eclectic that I'm going to be like You're going to look great in this. People are going to be like What are you talking about?

You're like two just a pair of rubber gloves. I've thought about it. It's definitely like on my like my radar I've styled people before. Yeah. And I really enjoy doing it. Yeah. But sometimes like I get carried away. And I'm like, let's make it crazy.

And they're like, girl, like, I got to be on camera. And you're like, I'm going to be photographed. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I want people to remember this. Yeah. I just think you would soar in that realm, too, if you ever thought about either styling or making your own line or anything like that. Should we just you up right now?

Oh, love. Let's do it. Star doll edition. What I love, too, is like, people like yourself, I think, would be so impactful in the industry, too. Someone who's just got a completely different brain outside of it. I love that. I'm obsessed with it. Because even like as I like start going into styling more, like I have stylists now. And even now it's like it's harder for myself as like a bigger girl because I'm like I'm tall and

I'm thick. Yeah. So just getting styled in general is a nightmare. Yeah. But even when I, especially when I want to serve, I want to serve. I want to do something crazy. I want to do something awesome. And it's harder for me because I'm like a bigger girl.

Right. So that's why I feel like someone like yourself with your brain the way it works. I would love to. I would love that. Yeah. Especially like things like fashion week There is not really attention to like body diversity and things like that Oh yeah girl

You're telling me And we're telling me And we're talking about it offline Like fashion week is not nearly as fun as you may think it is Oh my God no I again And Griffin's been to way more than I have I've only been to like one and a half When I tell you I was ill afterwards

I was in bed for like a week Everyone was like how was fashion week I'm like it was good Yeah it was good From what I remember it was great Right. Like the flash before my eyes a few times. Yeah, it's literally no sleeping and everyone is running off literally nothing but caffeine.

Yeah. Well, also, like, the shows, people love to do their shows in, like, stupid places because it's all about, like, you know, it's all about the pageantry of it all. Yeah. I literally, I had a video of this, it was me, like, riding my bike to a Rockefeller, like, riding a city bike to Rock and a Center because I'm like, I'm not taking, like a $40 Uber Black, but it's mean. Like, I, uh-uh. If I did that to every show. Because they're in the most random places. Like, I, I don't.

If I did it to every show, I'd be, like, I'm not making money from these events. So, like, what now? Literally, there's no money involved, like, at all. Unless someone gets paid to do a brand deal with a specific designer, like, there is no money. You're just going and spending money. And that being said, like, I'm going to go to the shows that I like. Like, I go and I watch, like, because I love the artistry of it all. Yeah.

And it's good because I don't get invited to the boring shows. So it's like, I only go to the crazy ones, which I love. Yeah, but even the scene itself is very influencer-y. Yeah. It is. It's very. very much so that. That was my first,

when you and I saw each other, we saw each other at the TikTok fashion week event. And when we talked about it, I was telling you, I'm like, this is my first ever fashion week, like full fashion week.

I have never been surrounded by so many people that are like, the textbook definition of what you would hate as an influencer. Everyone is like pushing in front of each other to be in front of the camera.

Girl, they're not going to put that anywhere. And that is not a joke. Like, that is so real. They are, they're mean and they're rude. And everyone is an,

a bad mood. Probably because nobody's slept. Or eaten in days. Bad mood. And it's also, everyone is like trying to prove something. It's true. It's so true.

And I was, I did not expect that when I went. I did not expect that at all. That's like, half the time I was like, the night would end and people were like, you know to this after party. I'm like,

no, I'm going to go either to bed or I'm going to like a rave where I know nobody. Like, I'm going to go, I'm going to the dirtiest, stinkiest warehouse. Like, drip down whatever I was wearing that day and just shades on and ignore you all.

It would be great. Speaking of, I saw that you. were Stefan for Halloween. Like a long time in the making, I've been waiting to do that costume for so long. Stefan is so you-coded. The character itself is so you-coded. No, it's all about the nightlife and weird.

Hotest club. Yeah. And weird. I kind of got my ass. Yeah, wait, I only did one Halloween custom this year because six days in a row, like, you've got to be kidding me. Like, this is a lot of money. You're all tired. No, I'm not that creative.

Like, I'm, you know, I'm good at what I'd do, but not that good. Yeah. It's beating the hell out of you after that. I DJed at like Boom Boom Room for Halloween night, which is like, I don't know. They do like the Met Gall after parties there. It's like New York's hottest club, which like, you know, whatever. But I don't know. I was like, I should be Stefan.

Like, this is the night to do it. Yeah. But I had people be like, I didn't even see you DJing because of the wig because they didn't know it was me. They were like, you weren't in there. They were like, you were in there. They were like, you were in there. I'm like, yeah, girl. That, you were in a wig.

Yeah, I mean, like, check and go. Still. Right. You shook and you went. I shook. Yeah, he shook and you went. Okay, so speaking of dressing, we're talking about our topic today is navigating gender expression online. As a creator, as a person, whatever it may be.

So for those of you who don't know, what we do here on the comment section is we bring videos that I was tagged in that are applicable to our topic today. And then we'll laugh, make fun of it. Kiki, whatever. Yeah. Whatever it requires. So for this first video, in this video, a person is explaining a very basic breakdown of how adjusting your language to use they, them pronouns. Really isn't that complicated.

They say how you can just address one person the same way you would address a group of people and that they them pronouns have actually been used to address individuals dating back to Shakespearean times, which we all know. And for some reason, people resist. And so obviously, Griffin is non-biased. So Griffin goes by day, them. Believe me or not, as someone who has multiple non-binary friends, it's not nearly as hard as people trying to make it seem.

They act like it's the most impossible task. Yeah. And it's like, well, if you just talk to them like normal humans, it's pretty easy. It's like, you add a breath. I'm trying to pick another pronoun. Yeah. Yeah. Also, because I, the people who are complaining about it, I'm like,

I can't imagine you have to use it very often. I'm telling. Like, how many non-binary people are you around on a basis? Who are you interacting with that's non-binary? On a regular basis. But also, even when you talk to your cis friends, you don't gender them all the time while you're talking. It's not very natural. Like, that's not natural anyways.

I always think of it like people use the comparison. Like, if somebody's absent, you don't know their gender, then, like, people defaulted. They'd be like, oh, someone lost their jacket. I'm like, oh, what was that? Oh, you do know how to do it. Yeah, when they say that, you're like, I'm not doing those pronouns. Do you do that every time? Right.

It seems like it's such a impossible task for someone who I think is going out of their way to be bigoted. Exactly. So of course it's going to be hard for you. Right. Because you're trying to harm people. Literally. Like you're literally trying to hurt people. Like, so yeah, I mean, it's probably going to be harder for you.

I mean, I love the fantasy of all. I like when people can't figure out what to call me. You know, they're like, she, and I'm like, uh-huh, keep going. Try another one. Make up a new one if you want. Like, I, you know. Because at the end of the day, like, I don't know. I think I see people who are so, like, so bent on, like, offending you because they don't, like,

they don't, like, they don't believe in you, basically. Yeah. They don't, like, believe. The existence of you. Right. Where it's just like, you know what? Like, if you're that hell bent on like not acknowledging as a person, just don't acknowledge like no pronouns. Do not refer to me ever. Yeah.

Forget about me actually. Right. Like, erase your mind. Walk away. Close your eyes. Yeah. Because at the end of the day, like, it's not like a hard request. And I think that the people who are like so hell bent on like disobeying it are just looking to offend you, you know?

Truly. That's why they're trying, like actively trying to like resist being inclusive, which I'm always like inclusivity cost you nothing like nothing at all and like you said just don't address me at all then if it's really that part of a desk like it's okay you don't have to talk about me literally ever that's okay you can do that that's only fine and honestly non-binary people even in my experience with having non-binary friends like they're so patient and like they are not like jumping down your throat if you misgender them or anything like they shouldn't have to be that. that way, but they are, which is so sweet. It just makes me feel even worse that people are so awful for no reason, like on purpose. I think also just like, the world is very gendered. You know, especially like the Western world is like, I don't know, they love gender here. It's like here in Italy, it's like their favorite thing.

But like, I think because of that and because like of how like overexposed we are to like the norms associated with like gender and like how we say gender with like sex and just like familial existence and like yada yada. I could go on and on about like the American dream and all that BS. But like I think like because of that, like I understand that even for people who are like very loving and caring and like want to be like respectful that like everyone's going to mess up. Not only are people going to mess up like you are trained to mess up. Like they don't want like people to defy these boundaries that they've set up for them. They want to be able to categorize people. Absolutely. So like when people like, I think said like I get nervous correcting pronouns people like I don't know why.

I feel like I'm like, I feel like I'm going to say people are going to be like, oh, like, whatever, you're going to dye your hair blue? And I'm like, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. Right. Who knows? But even that, like, I don't know. Like, that's why, like, it never really bothers me when people get it wrong.

It's also like, like, like, 99% of the time if I correct somebody, they're going to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, no, it's not that deep. Like, you're fine. Just, you know, now you know. Yeah. So we adjust. Yeah. I mean, when people, you know, second or third time, I'm like, okay.

That's on purpose. Yeah. gonna handle it in, you know? But at the end of the day, it's just like, like, I think if you're willing to take the time to just like, hear somebody out, like that's all I kind of need. Just want, you know, like the motivation, try.

Because it's not, the thing is, when you try, you quickly realize it's not that hard. It really isn't. As someone who has not, not only has non-binary friends and trans friends in general, but also has talked to them for extensive periods of time. Yeah. It's really not that hard.

Like it's, to make it seem like it's such a chore Is truly just like, you just don't want to do it Yeah. Because you're a bad person, so. I think people like the media has painted like, like, well, they painted trans people as like aggressors, I think. Truly. In a way that like, I don't know, it roots from like trying to like masculinize trans women

And I think it's like fucked up for all sorts of reasons. Yeah. But like I think people and like the conservative like alt-right of it all like have this perception that if you misgender trans person, they're going to like beat you up. And I'm like, girl, like if somebody misgendered gender is, me like the first thing happens is I correct them and the second thing happens is I leave like I'm like I'm bored like I have better things

to do than to be referred to something that I'm not well and also like you think that all like you just think trans people are looking for cis people to attack like they don't hang out with they want you to leave them alone like they don't want you to come into the club you're not cutting up

and you're not trans enough it's like they don't want to be your friend they want you to leave them alone like it's truly it's It's all a smokescreen. Like the same thing I've talked about. I even talked about it recently with someone where I was talking about how the war on drag that happened like all this year and last year was literally, well, obviously they're attacking

just queer people in general, but it's a smokescreen for trans people. Like they're trying to attack trans people all the time, every time. And it's exhausting and stupid and I hate it. And so I feel like that that rhetoric of like them just like, trans people are just waiting to like attack you for something. It's just so not true. They want you to leave them the fuck alone. Like that's it.

Like just leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. Exactly. Deal. Like let's just like... At the end of the day, like, I don't know. I don't surround myself with people who don't... Exactly. You know, who don't get it.

Like, if you don't get it, I'm avoiding you. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to spend time with you. I'm not looking to like, you know, meet halfway. Yeah. Like if you're not down with the shit, like, if you're not here to like respect my identity, like, that's okay. Go somewhere else.

Exactly. They're going to love you in like Milwaukee or whatever. And it's... It's like it's in the same kind of neighborhood where sometimes people ask me like, oh, is this how you treat men and, you know, that you hang out with or whatever? And I'm like, I don't, I don't hang out with misogynist girl. Like when I mean a man I fucking hate. He knows I hate him and I never see him again. That's kind of how it works for me.

So like I don't hang out with them. Just the same way I don't hang out with homopholes. I don't hang out of racist. Well, it's also just like like, like I feel like people like that don't understand that like there is like an incompatibility that exists. Yeah. Being around those people. And it's far beyond your identity. Yeah.

We have nothing in common. What are you going to talk about? Like, lady got, they don't know who that is. Like, I, like, what are we going to key about? Right. We got nothing to talk about. That's why I'm like, it goes far beyond just morals. Yeah.

It's also just interest, like, we don't share any. No. We have zero. We have nothing in common. I'm never going to bump into you. Like, we don't frequent the same place. Yeah, we don't shop. I haven't been to a bass pro shops unless I was filming a video, making fun of Bass Pro Shops.

Me, literally me. I was like, I'm never going to run in. to we're never going to see each other it's fine like we have nothing in common far beyond them being a big it like we have nothing in common so this comment says as if life isn't stressful enough now these people oh my god well you're stressing yourself out right i don't i don't sit around stressing about what non-binary people are up to i have a job i have i own businesses yeah exactly club club another that's your whole life my god Don't tell people.

Do I look good at the bags under my eyes? Yes, you couldn't even tell. Oh my God. Couldn't even tell. Yeah, wait, like, now these people. Like, this is the issue confronting the world. Like, do you, like, I don't get it. Like, do you, like, feel like you walk into stop and shop at someone, like, spanks a pronoun pin on your forehead?

Like, when is this happening to you? What are your pronouns? That's why. Show me your pronouns. Like, hand over the pronoun. Put it in the bag. Immediately. Right.

It's the same as when people started putting them on, like, their Zooms or their emails or even their social media profiles they're like, oh. Yeah. Another one of these. Also I feel like because it's, it upsets people to like have to acknowledge that queer people exist. You know? Like that's why

it was given like pronouns in bio and pronoun in your Zoom name and it was like, oh my God, they're everywhere. And I'm like, they've been here the whole time. Longer than you probably. Longer than any of us. True. People have been around forever. The queer people have always existed. You're just mad because you liked the fans.

that you had that everyone like lived within the same sad confine that you feel restricted to period and that's a word and you know what I've talked about this it's so funny too because I kicked a very different hornet's nest that I typically do on TikTok a few months back because I was addressing this one guy who was saying like he had made some fuck-ass video about like oh take her out of her masculine era and put her in her feminine era which is bullshit and so I talked about in the video like this is one of the few times people on the internet like get to hear me not be like suck my winner and yeah right i'm like actually trying to like educate you to some extent yeah and i'm like i think this is garbage for multiple reasons one of them being it's just a smokescreen um it's a facade

it's it's misogyny veiled right but i was like but more importantly like a lot of them even some women were really well you don't agree with men you know women who want to be taking care of i'm like that's not what i said i said that this argument is hidden underneath this veil of like, oh, I just want to take care of you. Yeah. And I was like, but the masculine feminine era, like energy thing, you cannot gender energy because it's not tangible or real. Right.

And on top of that, gender's not real. Right. And that, when I said that, ooh, the spiritual girls were up my fucking ass, bitch. They were so mad at me. And they were like, that's not true. Like masculine energy and eras are real, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, gender's not real. And if you do any sort of historical research at all, you would find that out too because gender is a man-made construct and it's a byproduct of colonization and white supremacy.

And I was like, my own culture had no genders. We had multiple genders, actually, prior to being colonized. Now it's a gender binary, but that's because of colonization. And I was like, that's how most cultures were, like, before colonization. So when people operate within, like, within neither gender binary. that has been around long, long, long before. Way before like the binary became like the popular metric. Way, way, way before.

That's why I was like, that has been around longer than you could even believe, if I'm being honest. So like the fact that now in modern times people are having a discussion about non-binary people doesn't make it new. No. I was like just because you just found out yesterday doesn't mean that they appeared yesterday. Yeah. I always find it interesting too when like post-colonial spiritual. capitalism like starts to like overwrite like kind of like where these practices come from. Oh yeah.

Which they come from. Because it's like if you're then taking like like modern like white supremacist ideas and like like like rewrite in the same file and like putting it over like what you think you're practicing like you're not only doing a disservice like to yourself. But to like history. Right. Truly. Culture and history. Yeah. Like the spiritual practice that you're colonizing or taking you're like you said rewriting it.

Yeah. And that's why I was saying it's. it's crazy to me because there are people in my own culture too that do not operate within either. Right. It's very, I think they're called Two Spirit too in Native Indigenous cultures. And so in Native American cultures. So it's very common. It's happened for centuries, like literally centuries.

Wait, there are like every single like like, like community, like culture and existence has had like like, like, not only like like, like non-binding people, but like trans people. And they exist in like different capacities in like, I don't know. I like wrote this paper about like that. FSDs in Brazil and there's like the hedris. Like there's there are like like different like subsets of like transness, whether it's like non-binary like trans feminine, trans masculine. Yeah. Or like even like people who refer to themselves with like cross-justice.

Like there's like a whole series. Like it exists everywhere in every culture. It's so pervasive. So to stand up and be like this is like like the like liberal agenda in 2023. I'm like did you like did you call out of the bubble yesterday? That's what I said. Did you just just were you born literally yesterday? Like that's why I'm saying you guys are.

you guys are loud and wrong, as always, loud and wrong. You guys are so uneducated about things that you know nothing about. And that's why even when I talked about that, some people were like, oh, girl, you are actually kind of smart. I'm all the same because you guys want me to tell men to suck my wiener all day, which I will, but that does not mean that I don't know a little something, something about some stuff. But it's truly, it's so exhausting to me having to have that conversation

because I'm like, you don't even know what you're talking about. Like you genuinely don't know what you're doing And you don't want to have that conversation with me It's an interesting internet phenomenon That people think if you're funny Then you have to be kind of stupid You know? I also think it's like it's like a consequence

It's exhausting The parisocial relationship But they're kind of laughing at you And I'm like you can laugh at and with me I'm funny Like I wear funny things And I say funny things But also I have a brain girl

Me Me Literally me And sometimes every time I I'm not solely making fun of men And I start I start kind of talking my shit a little bit They're like Oh you are kind of smart

Well, yeah Yeah Most funny people are I hate that I hate when they have to realize it I'm like oh You didn't know that before You couldn't also just like

Why am I dumb until proven smart This stupid bitch is actually kind of smart Right This funny stupid bitch is actually kind of smart This dumb bitch has a brand Yeah Okay I do

Okay work brain Okay Okay I'll go on to this next video Okay so in this video a person is sitting in their car eating a sandwich looking into the camera with the caption. I'm genuinely so confused how do pronouns not relate to pronouns? Like you would identify as a female but use he, him pronouns. I'm so confused.

Do they just like the sound of the word better? Well, see, yeah. Honestly, they were almost there. Yeah. Like they're saying you'd identify as a female, but use he. Okay, so you're right. Gender identity is true. Not everyone identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth.

Of course. So there you go. So you're like, you're right there. You're like almost there. Like an inch of wet. But also, it just, because this discourse happens like inside and outside the queer community. Because I think people who are like gender essentialists, like not in the queer community and see like someone who was assigned one thing at birth and identifies as somebody else is like, you can't be that. You're a man.

You're a woman. And it's like, okay, you don't know what's going on here. Yeah. And then within the career community, people are like, well, if you're like a lesbian, you can't go by them pronouns or like all this stuff. I'm like, at the end of the day, these are all made up words to describe made up things. True. Like, if I'm, I want you to be, like, I'm it, it's, and my name is Sparklepus. You have to deal with that, okay?

Because at the end of the day, it is. That's what I said. It's make believe. And like, if I want you to call me something, that's what you should call me. And if I don't want you to call me, you know, like little baby bitch girl, then don't call me that. Maybe if you want, but I can just. But only. Only if I say so.

Yeah. Like, that's the thing is, people are so hung up on, like, words. language personifying people how they perceive them. Yeah. And I think, I don't know, when you, like, when you're sheltered and you're only exposed to, like, like, an echo chamber of, like, Fox News and your own thoughts, like, it makes sense that the minute you turn out that way.

Yeah. But also, like, like, don't be so afraid of something that you don't understand. Truly. And also, like, I think it takes just, like, a really basic sense of compassion to meet somebody, have them tell you, like, I would like to be called this and referred to by this and then do it.

Like that seems like a, like, I don't know, I feel like it takes more energy to defy that. Yeah, it's more work. It's harder. It's harder. It's so hell bent on like reinforcing these norms that were like hammered into your head over time. But then you leave your bubble, you see like culture that like is not the same as your own and you freak out. You said to when you leave your bubble, it's like such a, it's such a silly and ignorant thing to believe that everything that you've known in your tight circle is how the world is. Oh, absolutely.

Like what's the difference between that and when like, like, fucking pilgrims thought that the world was flat. You know what I'm saying? Like, they didn't know any better. They're like, oh, you'll just fall off the edge. That's literally you, girl. Like, you're living in a bubble that's, like, telling you one thing. But you have literally no idea.

Christopher Columbus showed up to a world that he didn't discover and called the India. He was just, like, like, nah, you guys are Indians. And they still call them that. Like, some people still call Native American people that to this day. There's, like, legislation. Like, like, U.S. legislation. Like, that uses the word Indian. I'm like, literally.

What does it have to do with India? Nothing at all. My point is like, you leave your bubble and you just throw like your perspective of like what's happening. Like label it. Like you're almost always wrong. Like it really never works out. No. Just listen to people.

Let people tell. Like they've lived lives. Truly. A life different from yours. Yeah. Life probably better than you. Yeah. Most likely nine times out of ten it is.

More enriching. Truly. More fun. More loving. More sleigh. More slay, more cunt. Right. Absolutely.

Yeah. I feel like even, like you said, it's if I tell you, like, it's the same, even if you were to simplify it down to something like names, I changed my name. Like if you were to legally change your name. Like if I changed my name to like, dickhead, that's my name now. You have to call me that. Okay. Okay, work, dickhead. That's my, that's my literal name now.

You have to call it to me. I legally changed it. So like, who the fuck are you to tell me? That's not it. Yeah. Why? Well, because I don't think so. Well, you're not me.

And then it's just, again, we're going in this circle. And like you said, it's all made up. Like, none of it is real. None of it's real. Literally none of it's real. Just like gender's not real. It's just, it's so, it's so silly, I feel like to like be, what do you just? You're up all night worrying about that.

Like, twiddling your fingers, like, oh my God, does they them? They're coming for our kids. Like, okay, girl. There's people, most, let me say something. Most they thems hate kids. I famously do. Like, they do. My mother is like a public school teacher.

She has them. just as much as me. I like, okay, I shouldn't say that. But she's very good at her job. She loves the kids. I, like, I can't be around, like, children, for example. Listen. One kid, sure, like, I could, like, babysit.

Yeah. You know, maybe if I liked the kid. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Also, like, like, like, I don't know. Whenever I go to, like, I go to, like, I club a lot. I'm a rave girl, you know? And sometimes you go to, like, 18 plus.

I'm like, what's going on? Like, the 18 and they're little. They're kids. They are babies. No shade. Like, love you all. Babies. Like, I don't want to be around children.

Everyone's like, you're coming after the children. I'm like, I'm actually running away from your children. No, that's what I mean. I'm like most, most people, like, even with drag queens, I have so many drag queen friends. They hate kids. They don't give a fuck about your kids. They don't care. Also, like, because like, the kids that these people are trying to protect from me are like already indoctrinated by those people.

And I'm like, your kid hates me. Yeah, yeah. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared of your kid. Yeah. Yeah. I'm scared of your kid.

That sounds like most people that they demonize and personify as like, oh, they're coming after kids or whatever. They hate kids. They don't want to be anywhere near them. Any show that they do, they don't want kids there. It's very famously and widely known. So it's a fallacy. Like, especially with like drag. Like drag isn't like in heavenly sexual.

But like the state of being queer thanks to like the US of A is sort of like sexualized because of the way people see it. So like at the end of the day, it's like if my liberation and like my like freedom of expression is something that you feel needs to be policed, then like, at the very least, just get your kids away from me. Like at the very least, just let me do my thing. Yeah. Like, you know, we'll undo and like rework like why you think like being queer is inherently sexual, which is like a flawed mindset.

T. I'm like, that says more about you. Right. Than it does about queer people. Absolutely. When, when you sexualize them immediately, it's the same thing with trans women or men. When you sexualize them immediately, that's a you problem. Absolutely.

That's a you problem, babe. That's not a them problem. A they them problem. That's not their problem. That's not their problem. That's yours. That's I was like, that's a personal thing. Unpack that privately. Yeah.

With your therapist, hopefully. Or your priest. I don't know what you do. I don't know how you unpack that. I mean, take it wherever you go. Tell somebody. Tell someone. Tell a trusted friend.

Journal about it, girl. Journal about it. Okay, this comment. This one says, they're bored and realize their logic has no value so they just destroy all the rules. Ah, see, the use of they them inadvertently is really fine.

They're bored. Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. At least they gendered correctly. Right. At that point. Okay, period. But definitely accidentally, but here we are. Definitely referring to, like, all of us, but I'm like, you never know. Right. You ever, like, you refer to, like, three non-binary people and it's like, you, you, you,

these two, these two, these two, these two are all three. You never know. Well, that's why, like, some of my friends are non-binary lesbians. And I'm like, Okay, cool. Like, you see how, you see how that works? I was like, the point in you're like, no, like, slay. Like, that's what you tell me that.

And I go, okay. Yeah. And the end. Again, made up words to describe like made up things. Like I, like, yeah, you can be whatever you want to be. Period. Like, they're like, I identify as a non-binary lesbian. And I'm like, work, bitch.

Yeah. We love it. Do what you want. Because also, I think, yeah. I know, like back and forth about like what labels you're allowed to use and what or not. To me, like, I don't know, I hate when it, like, festers in like a necho chamber of like the queer community too because then it's just like this is just infighting like we've got bigger problems yeah yeah well you're like we're splitting hairs at this point right and also like just I don't know at the end of the day like let people identify how they want yeah and I think labels can be a really useful because it's how people built community yeah like we wouldn't have community without labels because it's how we find each other yeah but then like when you get down to like the like you can't be these three things and these two things I'm like have you tried being normal have you tried just like just like letting people live

Yeah. And if somebody, if the way someone identifies, like, really gets in the way, like, aforementioned, just look at the other way. Yeah, there you go. Just get out of our way. Like, we don't need you here. I personally don't give a fuck because it doesn't hurt me as long as everyone's happy and no one's bigoted. Works for me.

Absolutely. That's all that really, that's really required to be my friend. Also, the debate about, like, non-binary lesbians. Like, at the end of the day, like, if the gender binary is made up, then you could be anything in a lesbian. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I won't get into, like, the minutia of it all. But at the end of the day, like, people are like, you have to be a woman to be a lesbian.

I'm like, well, well, yes. But also, like, I don't know, womanhood and manhood are already very fragile concepts to begin with. True. Built on a very shaky foundation. Right. So, like, maybe let's not like, like, stick to, like, reinforcing those norms. Yeah, that's kind of, I feel like, I feel like even in moments like that, and I can obviously only speak to, like, my own, like, cis heteronormitivity. But it's like, I think in moments like that, that's where you really start to unpack your own things that you haven't really.

let go of yet like internalized biases we all have them and we're all actively unpacking them as we get older and evolve and want to be more inclusive and better so I feel like even then you when you feel those start to flare up I feel like sometimes it's just like sometimes I think it's a defense mechanism it's a pride thing like you just feel really proud and those are all things that are not inherently bad but it's more so when it starts to harm others where it's like that's where you're like okay maybe I should unpack why I feel the need to like you know really get up in arms about it but for me, I'm just like, as long as you're cool and I'm cool, we're cool. We're cool.

Like, I think if you're great, whoever you like and however you identify, I love love. I love to love. I love to be happy. I love to be silly. I love to be silly. As long as you're not a cis straight man being awful, then you're not my op. There you go. All of them are my ops.

So those are the only people I'm hunting. That's for sure. Okay. This last comment says they just want to be cool and different. Well, I think on- I am cool and different- I was okay They are

The they in question I will say All of my friends who are a part of the LGBTQIA plus community Are the coolest bitches I've ever met my entire life I wish I wish to God I could have been

An ounce of as cool as someone like Griffin Or even someone like ER 5 Master Who's non-binary Or Hina who's non-binary Those bitches are so cool. I'm jealous. They are cool and they are different and I wish I had that. Don't sell yourself short. You're very cool.

We are cool. We. And then someone else outside of us. We us. Collective. One big like amorphous brain. Exactly. But I'm like they are cool. Inherently they always are. They're much cooler than any cis hip person.

I personally know, including myself. So that's why I'm like that that's T honestly. Because it's true. Well, it's also just like people you want to be different. Like, no, no, no, I am different. Literally. You're mad. And you're mad.

Right. And you're upset about it. Sorry, sorry, you can't be me. Well, and also you are, you have felt different your whole life. Why do you think the gender binary doesn't work? Like, if I feel different, then, like, I have the choice to either, like, be different or to desperately trying to change myself in order to not be perceived as different. Period.

Which, like, any queer person who's, like, been through that, which is, like, most queer people. And, like, still to this day, like, there are moments where, like, I feel like I need to do that. It's a terrible feeling. You know? It's not even like, I don't know, I shouldn't describe it as like an ouchy. You know, it's like, it's like an invalidating feeling that's so, so contrary to like your own existence that it's like entirely desosited. It's like suffocating.

Yeah. Well, it's like, it's this argument that like, like, let me talk about like trans people and like expression, like the oh like, like, sometimes like people like have to be like stealth or they have to be like not like visibly queer and it would like conserve their space or terms of the safety. And people don't understand, like, just how harming that is. That it's not like in, like, oh, like this thing. I couldn't wear the outfit I wanted to wear.

It is like a, you look in the mirror and you see something that isn't you. Yeah. And it's horrible. It's just like, and I think to myself, like, a lot of times, even so, like, even, and probably even you, like, I feel like, in my experience talking to all my friends who are part of the community and, like, their journeys of coming out, whatever that looked like. it was like for a long time they had to go through that yeah you had to conform for so long until you get to a point where you're like it's literally me I have to choose me at some point I have to choose me otherwise I don't know what I'm going to do it becomes I mean like like statistically it's life or death for a lot of people you know and I think the people that are

able to navigate it like like can tell you that like it is still like it's like a gut-wrenching experience yeah and it's just that's the kind of shit where I'm like I cannot believe that people want to turn that into something awful like that kind of experience that I could never imagine feeling every single day you know what I mean and then when I do hear about it and it kills me to hear about it I think like evil people in the world being like I hate that like you're so evil bro like better truly and unhappy like there's just no thinking about that and thinking about people having to like stifle who they really are or how they

want to express themselves because of fear of retaliation like that. That's horrible, dude. It sucks. And it's a reality for so many people, too, because especially for, like, I don't know, like, people who are trans in, like, a very visible way. Or if you're, like, are trans and you're, like, still along, like, you know, the way and your transition to a point where, like, like, if you're, whether or not you pass is, like, a whole, like, conversation to have, like, that has nuance and, like, kind of varies

from, like, where you are and who you're around. But, like, it is, like, I don't know, it's life or death for people in, like, a lot of ways, you know? At the end of the day, it's just like, there's just no justification to, like, not being okay with, like, somebody's, like, very existence the way they want to express themselves. Truly. Literally. And it makes me, irate. It makes me angry, which is why I keep, I fought so many transphos. Oh, girl. I have fucked them up. Wait, they're my favorite people to fight. I love to tussle with a turf. Like, let's go, girl. Oh, the turfs. I beef with the turfs all the time. I had one. there was one girl and I don't remember her name and I never fucking will because fuck her.

But like, and that's like, and I don't say that lightly because it was someone who was harassing Dylan for a very long time. Oh, I know he was talking about. Yeah. But part of the, part of the reason why I was so fucking angry when I saw that girl was literally because she was tagging me and being like, well, people were tagging me in her video. But then she was saying like, oh, Drew would support me because she supports women. First of all, shut the fuck up. No. Second of all, if you don't support all women, you don't support me, and I sure as fuck don't support you.

And so I was like, that's not intersectional feminism. Because she kept saying, oh, she's a feminist. She's a fan. I'm an intersectional feminist bitch. That includes trans women. Like, you fucking turf. And I remember I literally tweeted her and I said, you're a fucking turf and don't ever talk about me again. Like, we're friends because we're not.

And I ate her up publicly. It is crazy, too, when like, like, turfs were, like, incite who they perceive to be their feminist icons. Girl. It's just like... I said, pick another one. Yeah, girl, find someone else. Pick another one. We'll be Harry Potter for Halloween.

Yeah. There's actually a really famous one you can pick for her. No, she'll love you. It's just, it's crazy. That's all I was like, pick another one, bitch, because you're, you sure as hell are not picking me. It's like, it's like, if you think you're a feminist and like, being trans-webic at all just goes, I mean,

not only does it hurt trans women, it hurts cis women, too, all the time. Hello. Like, turn around and, I don't know, there is this, like, desire to, I don't know. So my friend said this to me when I was in college, like my junior year specifically and then my senior year, I did a lot of activism for trans eligibility in sports because I was daving at Princeton,

Leah Thomas was swimming at UPenn, and it was like the talk of the fucking town. Yeah. And like the argument always devolves into like this, there's like this biological unfairness, you know, like trans women are like bigger and strong. I'm like, okay, hold on. It always devolves into like,

Terps will get online or just like get on their soapbox, especially in the world of sports and like in the name of feminism be like women are weaker and I'm like this is crazy like what are you saying? Yeah that's like so adverse to the movement it's not even funny

and it's like you know I could go on and on about like biological diversity and like why like don't even get me started I could write a dissertation on like the you know biological essentialism and like why we don't need to like fix it on like whatever the biggest thing is just like like if you don't see like

if you consider yourself a feminist and you don't see trans women as women, like you can't be a feminist. You're not. You aren't a feminist. If you are, at the very best, you're a white feminist, which helps no one but white women.

No, you put up a wall around womanhood that, A, not only, it doesn't only exclude, like, trans women. It excludes, like, women of color. It excludes, like, disabled women. Fat women. It's, like, everybody. Everyone except thin, cis, straight white women. Yeah.

So, if you're a white feminist, then you're not a real feminist, in my opinion. That's why I'm a proud and devout intersection. feminist. And I said, and I even said, even at that point, I'm like, how could you possibly reference me when Dylan's been on my show? First of all, I've had many trans women on my show of many different ethnicities and walks of life. So it was crazy too, because it just goes to show that they're not really like paying attention. That's what I said. You don't know anything about me, girl. You said, like you called upon me. I hate you. Probably. Right. Wrong door, bitch.

Like, knock on another one. Like get, move on. You got the right idea. Yeah. The wrong bitch. Exactly. And it drives me nuts. You know it's so funny too. One time I went to dinner with my boyfriend and a couple of people that we were like, we knew them. We knew them pretty well, but they just wanted to double date. And we were like, okay, cool. And then when we went, one of the guy, he had said something, I forget what it was.

I don't even remember how it came up, but he had brought up trans women in the Olympics, right? Because I think at the time it was like a hot button topic, obviously. They want to talk about that because they have nothing better to do. And he had brought it up. And my boyfriend was like careful because I was like, because as soon as he brought it up, I was like, oh, and I'm done eating. Right. Okay.

So let me I'm not hungry. Yeah, I was like, oh, suddenly I'm not hungry, but let's talk. Yeah, sure. You want to talk about it? Let's talk about it. And then he was like, oh, no, no. Like, he just kind of backpedaled a little bit. Because I, again, I don't know if he thought I was a dumb bitch.

Who knows? But, and that's someone I never hung out with again. Can you believe that? Really easy. Never knew it again. It's always so funny when people like backpedaled because they know they don't know what they're talking about. You know? I'm like, oh, you just listen to a couple, like, you know, you listen to Ben Shapiro once.

And you're like, I know everything. I don't know. I'm not wrong. Sorry. So I feel like the topic itself is so, is obviously so incredibly nuanced. But I feel like what is important to remember is like if you just like leave people alone, you'll probably be a lot happier. Yeah, absolutely. Statistically.

With sports to it was like, first of all, most of y'all did not care about. women's sports until 30 seconds ago. You guys were talking shit on women's sports until like 30 seconds ago. Literally. And like on top of that, it just I don't know. That whole situation was just like you've based your entire opinion on a one person case study. Like you

got information, you got right, you watched a Ben Shapiro podcast and you read the onion thinking it was real. And here we are. Yeah, literally. God. And you know what? I even tell men, like men who want to talk about trans women in sports. Whenever they bring it up,

I'm like, well, you couldn't even make varsity in high school. So I feel like you're not the person to ask about whether or not athletes are good enough to get there. You couldn't get there even if you tried your hardest. If you went for a whole year, you wouldn't be able to qualify. So I feel like you're not the person to ask. Like someone who's unathletic, I'm not going to ask. Someone who's five, six.

And you're talking about Olympian sprinters. Yeah, I'm not asking you. Like, hey, I don't. Put her in the ring. Yeah, I'm like, hey, I don't give a fuck what you have to say about professional. female athletes. Like, you're not even mentioned in the conversation. No, sorry.

I don't want to hear it from, like, the men who could never make it even if they tried their hardest. No, like, you're sitting there type of from your mom's basement. Like, yeah, I'm sure you have opinion. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure you're like, well, they don't deserve to be there. Neither do you, girl.

So, there you go. I guess you're both losers, huh? So, to wrap up this episode, what would you say you want to tell to anyone who's maybe wanting to, whether it's try different kinds of fashion looks or maybe just someone who's maybe navigating their own gender expression or

identity. Whether it's publicly or privately, what would you say is your best piece of advice? I always tell people like believe in yourself, be confident and that feels like well duh. You know, I think confidence is something that's difficult to come by, but when you do come by it, it's like

life changing. I think confidence isn't always about like looking in the mirror and loving everything about yourself. It's more about understanding, like, you should love everything about yourself, even if it's not, like, exactly what you want. Because, like, you are you and, like, you deserve to feel confident.

You deserve to feel good about yourself. Also, like, a big part of being confident is not having a fuck what other people think. Period. Like, at the end of the day, like, people are going to judge you no matter what. So don't, like, look to please people. Period.

Look to feel good. Yeah. Like, like, whether it's, like, through fashion, whether it's about like your identity, the way you express yourself, the things you do, the people you surround yourself with, like the job you do, whatever.

Like, it's about you, first and foremost. So express yourself in the way that makes you feel best. And when people have something to say about it, just know that like the people who are coming for you are just insecure. Period. People only talk about you when they don't have anything to say about themselves. That's tea.

And like you said, it's like people don't appreciate them in their time. So if they're talking, if they don't like you now. Be before your time. Because in 10 years, they're going to be like, remember her? She was it? And I'm like, yes, she was. Yes, she was.

And you can say, like I could say, I knew Griffin was it. That was, they were it. You better be careful. Oh, remember that and kiss you. Thank you so much, Griffin for coming on this episode. I adore you. It's an honor to be in your presence always. Same, same, same, same.

I'm happy we finally did it. Same. Look at us. I'm releasing teasers. all year. Seriously. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode. I adore you.

Where can everybody find you? I'm on Instagram and on TikTok and on Twitter. It's just the government names are to finish. Griffin Maxwell Brooks. And I also, yeah, I do lots of things, but if you crawl into a warehouse in New York, you might find me spinning. Yes, I was going to say, where are you spinning next if you want to tell? Ooh.

Actually, in L.A. Period. Playing subculture New Year's Eve. So like on December 30th. Warehouse, I'm sure. Okay, period. I don't know LA, but New Year's Eve, Eve. Yeah, but I'm around in New York.

Like, usually I know like a week before. So just like, you know, stay tuned. Give it a follow. Like, go listen to my like Halloween mix on SoundCloud. It was fun. Oh, how so incredibly amazing. Griffin is so talented, too, by the way. So make sure you check them out on literally everything.

As you all heard, the handles Griffin, Maxwell Brooks. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you all for joining me on this episode. Don't forget new episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio for the comment section on all streaming platforms, or you can watch the video for free on Spotify, our favorites, because we're Spotify exclusive. We love them forever. Thank you so much for joining me, and I'll see you next week.

Bye!