The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - GOOD CLEAN CHRISTIAN COMEDY Ft. Taylor Tomlinson | Episode 139

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

This week Drew, in the most elaborate Teletebby costume you've ever seen, welcomes comedian Taylor Tomlinson to the show!! They really cover everything in this episode - the bleakness of cruises, Taylor's start doing standup in churches, getting fired, dating funny women, haunted theatre venues, whether cosplay is a relationship dealbreaker, Taylor reads Pinterest quotes in vocal fry, and so much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Find two good creamers at your local retailer in the creamer aisle. Where do women go for words? Pinterest? She probably got those jokes on Etsy, that bitch. I fucking bitch. Fucking whore. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show. Sorry, me, your favorite.

Everybody knows me. Who cares about me? On to the guest. Today, we have the iconic, the legendary, the hilarious. Taylor Tomlinson. Welcome to the show. Hi, Drew. I love your outfit. Oh my gosh. Thank you.

It would have been so embarrassing. It would be dressed the same. I know. We were so close. I just have to say, Taylor's team was like, what's Drew going to wear? And then my assistant was like, um, she's still going through costumes. They asked two more times. And then she goes, she's going to be a telotubby. And they're like, great, Taylor's going to wear a T-shirt. And she didn't even wear the T-shirt.

Our team asked, my team asked what you were going to wear. Guys, that's insane. That's why I was like, oh, perfect. You're not even in costume. No. I'm sorry. I came from set. No, it's okay. I'm so sorry. I was like, oh, we're like a Halloween t-shirt. And I was like, whatever I went. Once I heard Telitubi, I was like, nothing I wear is going to hold a candle

to Telethubi. So why even try? When they told me the t-shirt, my assistant was like, do you want to just like change the costume? And I go, no, I'm being the Telethi. Yeah. And I'm going to tell her, I thought you were going to wear the T-shirt. We planned on you wearing the T-shirt, Taylor. Jeez. This is so embarrassing. That being said, I'm I am honored to have you on the show. I'm sorry it had to be this episode, but I'm honored to have you. Oh, no, I'm thrilled it's this episode. Are you kidding me?

This looks amazing. Thank you. How about, is it, is it only dressed up for Halloween this episode? No, it's for all the episodes in the month of October. So are you dressing up for every episode in the month of October? Wow. What are the other weeks? Well, I done spam, the can, just the can itself, because that's one of the major food groups in my culture.

Uh-huh. And also, I was peanut butter and jelly with Lizzie McAlpine. Classes. So she was jelly. I was peanut butter. Oh, that's cute. And now I'm Tinky Winky and you're Taylor Tominson.

Yeah. Sorry about that. And your famous comedian, Taylor Thompson. But speaking of, I'm very familiar with your lore and I'm a huge fan of you and have been for a minute. But for those who aren't familiar, like, I would love for you to tell them like your journey and stand up, like how you got started, what made you want to do it. Oh, sure. It's such a lame story.

I started doing standup in churches when I was in high school because I took a standup class from a church comedian and so for the first few years I was clean Christian comedy good clean Christian comedy from the time I was 16 to probably like 21 22 it's like first five years I was really clean how was that you know like fine I get like I wasn't having sex or anything so I was like and then I started out of a pull from nothing to pull from so then uh you know once you move out of your parents house you're like oh there's some other stuff I might want to say actually now that I'm thinking about it I actually have some other stuff

how are the crowds in a Christian well here's the thing because church crowds are so desperate for anything to laugh at that doesn't make them feel unclean so that they are actually pretty supportive and open-minded as long as you're not cursing or saying anything too real or dark

so as long as you like stay clean they'll give you they'll give you a lot more than you deserve but if you even sort of get like a little raunchy, edgy, whatever, they'll shut down on you really quick. You lose the room immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But again, this was many years ago. So I was also just bad at comedy. So, you know, it was. Well, that's a good place to practice then. It's a great place to practice, actually, because you're up in front of hundreds of people doing way more time than you should. Way too early.

They give you 30 out the gate. Literally. And they're giving you money and you're like, are you sure? It's so dumb. Okay, so you started there. I started there. And then when I turned 18, I could do comedy clubs.

Yeah. So I started doing comedy clubs in like San Diego and L.A. And I was like, oh, this is where comedy is supposed to happen. There's no, there's no crosses. We can laugh at other things. We can laugh at other things. And sort of slowly over the next few years, I was like, I mean, I've really performed in every type of place. Like, I've done churches.

I've done cruise ships. I've done corporate events. Like, but yeah, once I saw a comedy club show, it's like, oh, it's, this is where it's supposed to happen. That's so funny. A corporate event? Like, how is that? Oh, they're terrible. They're so bad.

They're so bad. Some people are really good at them. That's another place you have to be really clean. So for the first five years, I was so clean. Yeah. That it just made sense to do whatever. Cruise ships, too. Usually have to be pretty clean.

Really? Have you been on a cruise, like, for fun? No. I've never been on a cruise for fun. I've only worked on them. And it is bleak. It is so, so bleak. Yeah.

If I choose a cruise, check on me. Yeah. What I mean? Like if I get to vacation and I choose to sit on like still water like yeah, yeah, yeah, something's wrong with me. Yeah, yeah. I ended up on the deck most nights just kind of looking at the horizon like, I made this choice. I made this choice for myself. Yeah, are they depressing? They're so depressing. I would usually just stay up all night when everybody was asleep and then I would sleep all day and then do my shows and then I'd like go to the gym at night. Like a night owl.

Yeah. Because by the middle of the week, everyone knows you're the comedian on board. So then you're like going to the buffet alone and families are like, you're the comedian. And you're like, tell us a joke. Exactly. Or they're like sad for you. They're like, do you want to say? You're like, I really would rather not.

Yeah. Oh, no. I'll kill myself. But thank you though. I appreciate it. But thank you so much. Hey, I'm on the edge already. But thank you though.

I appreciate it. But yeah, then when I was like 22, I got fired from like opening for a church comment because I had tweeted something. that had some innuendo in it and they were like we can't have you on tour with us and I was like oh I'm never going to do this again I just am never going to perform in a church again and I never did damn that's the secret isn't it

I've met quite a few people in the industry that are not comics but like whether they're influencers or other people like celebrities like whether they're actors musicians whatever a lot of them have been fired before they started Oh yeah I thought you're going to say a lot of them performed in churches I was like really that's feel exclusive to you I feel like that's very exclusive to you

I didn't even know they did that. Well, I only, I know about clean Christian comedy because like my friend Caleb, Heron, he was, he made a joke recently where he was saying, if I ever take a hard left and I start doing clean Christian comedy, mind your fucking business. I'm buying a private jet. That is so funny. He's so funny. He kills me. He's fucking hilarious. No, I mean, I truly like, if I get canceled, I'm going back. They'll take me back. Don't worry. They'll welcome me with open arms. I'll have to write a new hour but I'll go back. It'll be fine. It's a fallback.

It's a fallback. Yeah. I got fired too before I started doing this for a living. Really? From what? The NFL. Oh shit. Oh my God. Yeah. I worked for the shield. Like literally for the shield. What did you get fired for? Well, ironically, and they hate when I say this, but it's true. They fired me because they felt like I didn't know what it took to grow following because I was working on a social media. That's so funny. And I was like, turns out I do. That's. Oh, my. My God, that story is so good.

That's deliciously ironic now. Fuck, that's good. Yeah, because when I was initially hired, I was hired to do, like, run an account, like try and grow an account from scratch, essentially. And, like, I pitched so many ideas. But, like, it's one of those things where you're like, I guess I'm a millennial. So, like, at the time, I think I was like 24, like 23, 24. And so I'm, the whole point is to try and post things that go viral, right?

Or they resonate with people. So I would be pitching the most insane ideas to women and other men who are like double my age. And they do not for the life of them understand. And it was just you alone. Yeah. Like, yeah, because it was grassroots brand new. So I was a team of one. It was just me by myself.

And then my manager. Yeah. So like I had to come up with the idea. So I would pitch shit that was so like to them sounded fucking stupid. But I'm like, I'm telling you it's going to resonate with the kids. Like I was just. trying to pitch. Do you know who Andy Reed is? He's the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs. Yes. Okay. So I pitched four months to try and make a meme out of him being the Lorax.

Nobody wanted to listen to me. And I said, you guys don't get it. They're going to laugh because he's a big fan of the trees and I'm going to make the players the trees and like he looks just like him. Uh-huh. The way they looked at me like I was speaking Mandarin. Like I was, they were like, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Like that's how they would look at me. And I told this story before about one time. one time Russell Wilson changed his profile picture to a picture of baby Yoda because baby Yoda was hot at the time. Right, right. I remember. And so then when I saw that, I was like, okay, I should Photoshop Sierra to look like Baby Yoda too. So I went on Getty images. I got a picture of Sierra. I cut out her hair, her earrings. I made it look like Sierra. I spent hours photoshopping Baby Yoda to look like Sierra or something resembling her.

And I lied on my resume and said I knew how to do Photoshop. I don't. I said I was, proficient in Adobe suite. I'm not at all. So then I took me so long. You taught yourself to do these things for this bit. Yeah, for this bit specifically. I'm not even kidding. Like I had no idea how to use Photoshop. And I did it. I taught myself how to cut out everything, put it on her. And then I show it to my boss and I'm like explaining it to her. I'm like, okay, so he's maybe Yoda. This is her as baby Yoda. And then maybe she'll change her profile. I'm like giving her this whole pitch. And then my manager was like, let me think about it. And then she messaged me on Slack. And she said, that doesn't make any sense.

Don't post that and don't charge for it. So I was like, oh, okay. Well, good thing I spent most of the day on this. Yeah. So I worked for free that day. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, shocker, they fired me.

Which is, but like, that's who should be doing your social media as someone younger and cooler than you. Yeah, you would understand. Yeah. Like, my social media manager is Gen Z and shout it to Janie. And she's so good. good at social media and her job. You need someone like that.

And I'm an idiot. I'm like, I wouldn't have even thought of this. And she's sending me sounds like, we should do this for the tour next week. And I'm like, OK, I guess I'll learn out of lip sync. I feel a thousand years old. I'm like, I would have never even thought. And she's like, it'll work. Trust me.

And I'm like, I would trust you. I just don't know. I was in a commercial recently for a different sports entity. And they're awesome. But I was pitching them ideas. And it's just like, have you ever seen, I don't know if you've seen this channel on TikTok, but there's this audio.

And they basically would film their like dads. And they'd be like, pretend you're eating an ear of corn like really hard. Uh-huh. Right? So that they do that. And they wouldn't tell them what the audio was. And the audio is literally them going, now I'm eating his ass. Eating his ass over and over again.

And I literally, I'm not getting. It's weird. Your team had me do that. And I came in. And that's for my personal file. Oh, got it. Okay. Okay.

It's okay. You signed it. So you signed the release, Taylor. But I was this close to pitching that to the other entity. And then my agent was like, I don't, I don't think we should pitch that one. And I said, all right. Listen, you don't want to go viral. That's okay.

That's your business. That's on y'all. Okay? That's fine. Some people are afraid of success. And that's okay. It's lonely at the top. What can I say?

I was like, sometimes I think about shit like that that I would do there. And I'm like, yeah. No wonder they fired me. Like, I'm just so annoying. Like, I'm trying to pick. pitch these ideas and when you look down at your phone in the telotubby costume you look really sad this is hanging i think it's the mittens yeah like what would just be you like just glancing down is you like i'm looking no for real i'm being i'm contemplating i'm reminiscing honestly i'm like

reminiscing on my days working there but i think that's the key is to get fired yeah to truly set you free yeah so then you have that sort of like rocket fuel like that's I'll fucking show everybody. Like, you need that. What would you say was like your, like, real, like, catalyst that really kind of, was it, like, the hour? Was it just touring it a bunch of times? Oh, definitely the hour.

My first special Quar Life Crisis came out a week before lockdown in 2020. Yeah. So at the time, I was like, okay, we missed it. Like, that was my shot. We missed it. If live entertainment ever comes back because I wasn't sure. Oh, my gosh, I can't even imagine. I will have missed my shot.

And my agent at the time was like, I mean, everyone's stuck inside watching stuff. So, you know, which is like such an agent-y thing to say. Yeah. You know, people are taking chances on things. They might not watch if they had the option to go outside. Yeah. Select yours. Yeah, they might take a chance on you because they're really scared and confined to their homes.

Yeah. But, you know, didn't not work. So thanks, COVID. So yeah, that went very well for me. And then when things started coming back, after COVID in like 2021, I was like, oh shit, we're like selling out club weekends now. And was able to like tour theaters and stuff. But that one special.

I mean, that's what Netflix does. I mean, you do one special with them. And if it like hits, it changes your life. And now you are the host of a show, which is very exciting. And I did one, I did one segment. You were so nice to do it. You were so nice to do it. You were nice to ask me.

I was honored. Oh my God. You were so good. Thank you. Truly, like, I never know what to expect when people come and, like, do a walk on. Yeah. And we threw you into a large bit that we were like, like, you were so good. Thank you.

And I think we had like some technical difficulties. We had like a screen. It was like hard to hear. And I was just like, man, Drew's so fucking cool for doing this. Because you were so funny and like so professional and nice and amazing. But yeah, I mean, the show. like not something I ever thought I would do. And how has it been hosting? It's been really fun. It's like a totally different skill like that I've never had. Yeah, stand-ups not like that at all.

So I part of the reason I took it is because I wanted to grow as a person or whatever, which sounds so lame, but it is true. I think you're doing a great job. Thank you so much. It is hard. It's fucking hard to host, especially that many big personalities because you're hosting like three, four people at a time. Yes. So and like people are changing in and out and sets are changing like it's a whole fancy fancy production. Right. And it's like I am myself but it's also like I'm reading lines, you know, like I love doing stuff like this where we can just talk and shoot the shit. Because you know, I'm, you know, I'm reading jokes that were written for me, which was also something I had to get used to because I'm used to writing all my own stuff. But it's actually very relaxing.

To have a room full of writers just come up with great shit every day. Oh yeah, it turns out reading a lot less difficult than writing. I can only imagine, too, that adjustment is probably so new. Because, like, obviously I'm, like, nowhere near you, especially in terms of stand-up. But, like, I, the few times I've had lines written for me for stuff, it is kind of foreign, because, especially if it's meant to be funny, because sometimes I feel like the way they write me is almost like an S&L impression of me. Like, so it feels like, girl, like, it's just this over-subcationalized. So is it, girl, fuck men. Yeah.

I've literally never said that. But like, I appreciate it, though. Sometimes when they're like, oh, like, feel free to like change these. And I'm like, yeah, I might change these. If you guys want to give me a pen, I would love to change some. Just rearrange some of these words, some of this verbiage. You're like, can I just get a whole new piece of paper? Actually, I'm just going to riff off the dome.

Don't worry. Just start rolling. I'll just run. Your show is so fun. That's so nice. It is fun. Yeah, that's why I wanted to do it. I mean, everyone I met with.

Because when I first got asked to interview, before it. I was like, I can't do that. I'm on tour all the time. Like, I can't do a show in town Monday through Friday. And they were like, well, it's only Monday through Wednesday, technically. Yeah. I was like, okay. So now I do the show Monday through Wednesday and then like Thursday through Sunday I'm on the road touring. So. Yeah. You're crazy. Look, if I had kids or like, any like whisper of a family, I wouldn't have taken this job. But I'm just, I'm really good at working. So I'm like, we'll just keep doing that. Me too. Fucking same. You're engaged. I am.

You're very successfully. I am engaged. You can't tell because I'm tinky winky right now, but like I am engaged. Are you wedding planning yet? No, not even. My mom, you want to hear something funny? The night I got engaged, I called my mom and my sister and like we were all talking about it because they knew. Everybody knew except me obviously. Yeah. And then my mom goes, okay, let's pick a date.

And I was like, well, girl, give me like a second. You know what I mean? And my man and I have been together for seven years now. So like we just got engaged and then my mom goes, okay, but your grandpa's not going to live forever. So I was like, okay. I was like, girl. Can we just? I was like, I promise it's not going to be another seven years.

And so, but we haven't started planning quite yet. Yeah. There are quite a few things that I'm like, I'm good. I don't need to do that. Like for example, a bachelorette party or like weekend or. Yeah. I don't know what you call those things. I think it's a bachelorette weekend.

Yeah. Something like that is that. I think it. Looking for anyone. Anyone? Anyone? I think it's in the UK, they call them hen parties. Yes. Like hen and stag parties. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. They always got to make things complicated. Where'd you guys meet college? High school. High school? Yeah, we haven't been together since high school. What the fuck? Yeah, girl. Have you told this story a bunch of times? No, not really. I,

I mean, like, that's how we met. We did not date. You met in high school. Yeah, we didn't date till after college. Same year? Same grade. No, he's a year older than me. Okay, but were you friends in high school? Yeah, we were cool. Okay. And then you started dating in college? After college? after college. So after I graduated and he graduated. Okay. How'd you like reconnect? Are you friends all the time? No, we were friends like in high school. We ran in the same circles. Like we knew each other. But my fiance is like a very, and this is not me gassing him or myself. He is a very good looking tall athletic man. So he did not struggle for female attention at all.

And as a high schooler, like he got tall in high school and was like handsome and charming and good looking and smart. So, like, in high school, deadly combo, right? And he's a good person now? Yeah, shockingly. That's insane. Isn't that crazy? That makes me furious. I know.

And you know, it's funny is I truly believe only my sister and I weren't swayed by it because my sister's a lesbian and none infuriate me. So like, just the two of us. And that's honestly why he liked me was because I was like mean to him. Like, he just dug that. Like, he was like, oh, she doesn't care that I'm handsome. Which is so funny because all the men online who are like, she's never going to find a guy.

you're like that's how I found a guy actually by being kind of me. Just kidding. Yeah, we met in high school. We were friends. I thought he was really nice and funny, but he was, you know, I was also, he was arrogant. I feel like as a child because he's immature. Right. And he's handsome at a young age.

Yeah. And then for me, I was like a know-it-all. So I think if we had, he actually asked me to prom his senior year and I said no. So jokes on me. He got me. So liked you in high school. Yeah. He played the long game for sure with me.

Yeah. That's so cute. Yeah. And then after college, we reconnected because I was honestly, and this is not a joke, I was ignoring him for like two years because he pissed me off. And I don't remember what it was. So clearly it wasn't that important. Yeah.

But like I, I remember like being I, when I didn't want to be friends anymore, I text him. I'm like, we're not even that close. So I wish you the best. Good luck with your life. Like it's cool. Just don't ask me to hang out anymore. For two years? Yeah, I just ignored him for like two years.

And then he started... This is a crazy story. Everyone in here should be... I know. My poor crew has heard this story a thousand fucking times. I'm sorry. No, you're totally fine. Yeah, so then he hit me up a bunch towards the end when I was about to graduate from college because he, you know, was before me. And then I remember texting my sister and I was like, what the fuck does this guy want?

And then she was like, I don't know. Maybe he's like hitting you up. And I was like, I doubt it. And then I found out that is exactly what he was doing. But I just texted you out of nowhere? Yeah, he was like, hey. like how have you been like we should get lunch like when you come back like because when we were talking and I would come home for breaks in college like we would get like lunch like old co-workers like you don't

I'm saying like colleagues like we'd be like like we're CPA buddies or something uh-huh not romantic at all no not even a little bit like so that's why that's why when we weren't talking anymore I was like we're not even that fucking close like it's fine we don't need friends and when I told Whitney Cummings that story she goes I love that you were just like hey let's just call it I I'm in all of you. I'm putting you on my vision board. I'm not kidding. I can't believe we're all not on our feet cheering. That's an incredible story. I know. And then he kept hitting me up. He kept ignoring him. And then he finally was like, hey, I know you're upset with me. I'm really sorry. Like, please let me make it up to you. And then I showed that text to my mom. And my mom was like,

well, he seems sorry. And I'm like, fuck him. And my mom was like, well, why don't you go to lunch? and then see, if he still sucks, at least you get a free meal. And I was like, smart. So then I went to the lunch and fast forward seven years later, I'm engaged. So he fucking got me. Wow. He got my ass. Yeah.

Damn. He tricked me. So reverse psychology apparently on me. I got got, to be honest. I know you're like, I'm fully in control this entire story. Yeah. But then at the end, I did agree to spend the rest of my life with him. So I just don't worry.

I was in control the entire time. Spoiler, he did get me. Yeah. He didn't get me at the end. Yeah. So it's been a while, but. Wow. Yeah.

So my mom. Congratulations. Thank you. I was telling you before we started recording, like, what a fucking week you had, New York Times bestseller. And then you got engaged, like within 48 hours. Period. Like, it was like, it was, they were, they felt 48 hours apart.

That's for fucking sure. How do you like touring? Do you like touring? Because I was on tour. I was on tour when I became a bestseller. Oh, you were on the book tour. Yeah, I was on a book tour. Oh, okay.

Did you hate touring? Yeah. See, I love touring. Yeah. I would love to hear what you think about it as somebody who's probably healthy. I mean, I've been touring. I've been touring since I was a teenager. I mean, I've been on the road since I was like, whatever, 19.

Yeah. So when we hit COVID, I had been feeling really like burnt out and run down from travel and kind of romanticizing. Like, well, what if I just, you know, quit and left all this behind and like got a job or like worked from home and maybe I'd love that. And then, uh, we went into lockdown and I had that time to just be home. And I was like, fuck this. I don't, I don't like this actually. And I miss traveling so much and I miss airports. And since we got, we came back from COVID, I have not, uh, I have really appreciated travel in a way that I didn't before. That's a good perspective on it. But also I'm able to travel more comfortably now post-cove because my special.

did well in the last like now that I'm an established comedian with several specials and like a show like I can travel much more comfortably. It like makes it easier. Yeah I think so but like I love being on the road. I love being in different places. Yeah I did enjoy performing. I enjoyed the shows. I enjoyed because like when I did the book tour I did it with my sister so we did like basically just live podcasting and then obviously promoting the book too. But so that part I loved it was like everything in between. I truly felt like I was living on the run. like Jason Bourne. I felt like I was...

Wasn't that cool? Yeah, like going into day rooms and I was showering and I'd wipe everything down and leave. Like, that's how it felt. I was like nothing but underwear and quick to change shorts in there. And that's it. And I got a tour bus. So we... I was going to ask.

I haven't done the tour bus thing. Really? Yeah. I don't know that I'd like the tour. I've been on other people's tour buses. Yeah. Could you sleep on the tour bus? Yeah.

Really? Okay. Yeah. I'm like, I'm someone who like, I could just drop anywhere and I could fall asleep. Oh. See, I'm not like that. Yeah. If people need like a, I know like, like a lot of people, because we had a big group on tour.

So like my sister, my sister, my fiance, obviously, my hair and makeup artist, tour manager, agent. Like there was like nine or ten of us. Oh, security. So 10 of us. Were you stopping at hotels? Yeah. So we did like, we slept on the bus, but we did day rooms. Okay.

Or all the hotels. And so like the bus, we would wake up in the next city. We'd go in the day room, shower, go back on the bus, go to the venue, perform, get back on the bus. Go to the next room. Yeah. because it's dark when you're like showering at the venue and then getting back on the bus oh my god i know the way we were like they were like oh they do have showers at some venues and i said is that what you call that yeah not for me showers are supposed to be clean and that looks like it was in a brothel i would come out of

that shower dirtier yeah seriously so that's a hard now for me yeah yeah and because i'm like i'm just a dickhead online like obviously like the venues that we had were um so fucking cool but some of them were really mom. Some of them were like old too. So like the fucking dude. And we're toying in the summer too. So on our rider was always like as low as the air conditioning can go, lower it. Yes. Like on every rider it's like

that's the first thing I want you to do. Before you get any snacks, turn that air on and turn it all the week. Well that's what's so funny about theaters is they're like, oh these big beautiful theaters. Backstage is like not good. It's really gross. It's a haunted at best. Yeah. It's not a good situation. We went to so many

haunted places. Is that your first question? When you, we ask, on that? Yeah, we ask, on tour. We're like, are there any ghosts here? And they're like, yeah, we get a few. We're going to need to know who they are. Has someone died here? I can sense it.

We did one show. In the tinky winky. For real. I can sense it. We did a show in Chicago, I think. Yeah, it was Chicago. And it was like a really small, like, club. And it will, I mean, I say small, but that was our biggest show at the time.

I think it was like three, 400 people, something like that. And so like it's like everyone is packed so tightly because it's a small no air in the dead of summer like in July like no fucking air. When we first got in there, they had those big like Home Depot fans like kind of blowing. And I was like, okay, it's not too bad in here. When I went out at night when all the bodies are in there. Yeah. I sat down and I said, oh good, it's hot. I love that.

You're like, what's this an hour? We're going to talk for an hour? I was just checking. I was hoping it would be an hour. I hope it's longer. I over here so long. I was like, this area's giving

Rainforest Cafe. Like, it's feeling very muggy in here. Oh, God. It's feeling like, yeah, no. Yeah, it was really bad. It feels like the Everglades in there. Oh, that's it. And I truly, I cannot believe

that everybody stayed through the entire show. Like, I, I personally, if I could have, if I wasn't on the stage, I would have left. You know, like, this wasn't my event? I'd be fucking gone. I'd be fucking pissed off because it's hot in here. And I was like, you guys are troopers.

Oh, my God. couldn't do it. But you're probably a travel expert at this point. Kind of, yeah. It's, it's hard to use, like, travel agents or even like tour manager sometimes because you're like, I mean, I could do this way faster. Like, I've, I just, I've been doing this for 15, just let me do it. Just let me do it. Just give it to me. I'll do it because it's just, I have 15 tabs open. I see, I see every possible flight. Like, it's, I got it. It's fine. Just give it to me. I know. I feel that. So delegating that stuff is very difficult. But yeah, I mean, and figuring out how to travel is like, thrilling.

You're like, oh my God, look at this thing I found. It's a new neck pillow and everyone's like, we don't care we fly twice a year. Like normal people who don't. And it comes in handy when you fly three times a month. And everyone's like, I can't relate to that. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right.

Whenever I meet people who don't have TSA pre-check, I'm like, are you okay? Would you believe I don't have it? You don't have TSA pre-check? No. What? Can you believe? No. It's crazy.

How often do you fly? Girl, at this point, like this month alone, I've flown four times. without TSA pre-check. Can you believe that? It's awful. I'm not kidding. Losing years off your life. And you shouldn't have to take off your shoes with the airport.

It's so bad. And it's funny too because sometimes some, like my agent has TSA pre-check. I think she has global entry, actually. And so she's like, okay, well, I'll see you over there. No, I would never go through regular security with any of, I don't care how much I love you. I will see you on the other side in 20 minutes. I honestly don't blame anyone. I'm like, yeah, don't leave me.

save yourself leave me yeah i i have have you this is such a dickhead thing to ask but have you done the delta one the new one at lax the delta the delta the delta the lounge yeah like not the lounge but the yes private tsa yes i have it's that shit yeah yeah i said so this is how the other half lives i know but then you're like oh that's why this was so expensive yeah yeah that's why it's arm and a leg yeah you're like this is why it cost me all of my points and then some every mile i had every mile i had to go through this tiny little area. I know. I'm working on it, though.

That is actually a goal of ours before the end of this year is to get TSA pre-check. So. That's a very attainable goal. Drew, come on. I know, I'm acting like it's 75 hours. You don't even have to go to the airport to do it. I know.

Don't wait. You could just go anywhere to do that. I don't know. I think I went to like a post office or something. Oh, right. It wasn't the airport. Yeah, something like that. Something like that.

It was so long ago because I have my shit together. Why don't you have TSA Pre-check? Well, you are a lot older than me, Taylor. That's true. I am a lot older than you. I'm just kidding. I am. How old are you?

You look younger than me. That's not true at all. I'm 30, yeah. I'm older than you. I'm like, you're so much older than Taylor. It feels a lot older. I don't know. Are you, okay.

How long have you been 29? Did you just turn 20? I just turned 29. Okay. How are you feeling? Or this month? How are you feeling age-wise? I feel honestly older than 29.

Yeah. Like, personally. I feel like, I feel like inside me is like a, 60 year old harmless white dad like that's who I think lives inside me personally

like some of the shit I like and like I'm drawn to yeah I'm like 10 walls lives inside you exactly exactly that's a perfect comparison yeah yeah just like a harmless white dad yeah got a little belly on him he really really loves like the farmer's

market but he also loves football like yeah something like he got you a pool noodle just because he was thinking about there you You know what I mean? He calls me champ. You know what I'm saying? That's the kind of guy that lives inside me. Okay. When I turned 29, and I've always felt older than I am also, but when I turned 29, I was like weirdly panicking in a way that I never thought I would. I've been, I've wanted to be 30 for my whole life. I mean, I literally was like 30 will be great. I feel 30. It'll be great.

And then I was 29 and I started freaking out a little bit. And I was also just embarrassed to be 29. Maybe it's because it's the end of the 20s. It's the end of the 20s. It's like you would rather just skip to 30 instead of going to 20. Yeah, I felt like I was like at a party for too long and everyone's like, why is she still here? And I'm like, I'd love to leave. I'm waiting on my Uber. I'm waiting for my ride.

I can't go yet, but I want to go. I don't have anything in common with anybody here. That's actually so true. Yeah. Especially me being a dickhead TikToker like, oh my God. The amount of people I meet and they're like, how old are you? And I'm like 29, they're like, damn. Like they act like, they act like, they act.

like I am two steps from the grave because I'm 29. Oh, like TikTokers do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you were younger because of TikTok mostly, I think. Yeah, that's, I think that's what most people, like when I, I just turned, I turned 29 on the 18th of September. So like, like, recently.

Fresh. Yeah. And when I had posted that I would turn 29, like, on Instagram, I got so many comments. You broke a lot of hearts. They were like, this bitch is 29. Not our Gen Z queen. Yeah. They were like, oh my God.

Ew. She's old. Fucking boomer. I love to shit on myself for being old and then watch all the Gen Z in the comments be like, I'm Gen Z and we like you, Taylor. And you're like, thank you so much. I needed that. That doesn't make me feel better.

But thank you. It makes me feel better. But I feel much older and less cool. I know. When I was on Caleb show, we joked about like he was saying, because he's the same age as me. So he's 29 too. And he was like, one of my friends were to send me up with someone and like their, I think they said they were like 38 or something. Oh my God.

I saw that clip. Yeah. And he was like, send him up to do what, driving to his appointments? And when he put it. on TikTok, like, so many people were like, that's not even that old. And then they were like, and how old are you guys? Like, I'm like, hey, you should Google the word joke and then come back to me. Yeah. Your mind's going to be blown. Oh, my God. And I even commented on like, guys, relax. Like, we love our Gen Xers. I was like, we're just being silly and funny. Like, relax.

Yeah. But also, I know your blood pressure is high, so you guys need to monitor that. Relax. You need to calm down. It's okay. It's going to be fine. I promise. It's going to be fun. I love to make jokes about people being old and I'm like they always get mad because they're like year old okay I mean honestly anyone in their 20s I feel so old around now yeah I mean like a 25 year old and they're like we're like the same age I'm like we really are not like I've shown people pictures of me at 25 and they're like oh you look so young I'm like that's you right now this is you and I'm from the future yeah and this is you're the future I'm from the future I've come back to warn you and let me tell you something. I feel the same exact way, especially meeting people in their mid to early 20s.

That's why it confuses me sometimes when people date younger, like a lot younger. I don't get it. I don't get it at all. I don't have any friends that are 21, let alone like a partner. Me neither. I think about guys that dated me when I was in my 20s and they were in their 30s and I'm like, ew. Like, big ick. Just like, what? Me? I was like, like, ugh. I can't have imagine trying to date like a 22 year old right now. Me either. That's like disgusting. No way. Yeah. Ew. I'm honestly, you can't even rent a car. I'm out. No, you can rent a car, but you just have to pay more. Oh, that's true. I was renting cars on the road. Some people, some people, they like don't let you rent at all unless you're 25. Really? Yeah. You have to be 25 for older. Really?

I was renting cars. I'm until I was 25. They just charge you a shitload of money. Oh, I'm sure. Like, it would cost more per day to be under, under, 25 than the actual car was. It was nuts. You know what's funny is like my brother-in-law is 23. I think insane 24 I think and like he came on tour with us because he he was doing security for me. And so like when we would have days off or like a night where we had like a lot of time he's like I think I'm going to go out and I'm like well peace and blessings upon you and your family I'm not going. Like I'm like okay we'll see you. Like yeah. That's the probably the oldest thing about me is like any sort of going out doesn't exist with me.

No. Like, I'm, I'm good. Did you have a season of that, though, in your 20? Yeah. When I was a big whore in college, I partied all the fucking time. I drank my ass off underage, but do as I say, not as I do. I drank on my 21st birthday, like, I was like, hey, I'm out. I'm like, I'm going to retire from the game. I can't do this anymore.

Really? Yeah, like, the end of my senior year, I was like, hey, I think I hate drinking, and I'm kind of over this. Like I'll have a little fun drink now and then, but like I just, if I drink like how I used to, I'd be hospitalized. Wow. I never partied. I never did anything. I got drunk for the first time a year ago.

Well, you did Christian comedy. So, you know. That doesn't surprise me. I know. I didn't think I was going to drop that and you were to be like, what? You're like, yeah, that checks out. That seems on brand for you. That's like, yeah.

When I was in college, I was like, you know, being fucking 19, 20 and like you think you're grown because you get to go out and shit like yeah i remember thinking like i don't have anything to do tonight now i'm like oh my god i have nothing to do tonight yeah really changes really changes yeah i really i really traded in one vice for the other because now i'm now i just like i stay home eat good maybe smoke a little and that's it yeah that's what i'd be doing at home dude i haven't done edibles in a while and i just did edibles the night now i fell asleep immediately isn't it so awesome i mean yeah because when you wake up next day and you don't feel like shit that's true but I wanted to like feel it for a bit and I just done gone unconscious yeah I like kind of wanted to be high for a minute it's just like melatonin

yeah truly truly I'm like this used to be fun what happened waited too long yeah like the last time I got drunk like for real was when I went to the people's choice awards that seems like a good yeah like I figured once my work I wait and I never really drink at work stuff because I'm kind of like in and out yeah but I I was like, I'm going to be here. Like, and my sister and I went and then I, we met up with some friends there. And it was like, it was, we had a blast, but I got hammered. But I did have a clip in banging, bad idea and you get drunk.

Because then that bang was like, it was like sticking straight up by the end of the night. Like I was like, I was so drunk and I didn't care. I took pictures with other people with my bangs fucked up like that. No one said anything? No. Wow. So I guess I have no real friends either. I guess my friends fucking hate me on.

So, but it was like so fun. And then the next day, I was like, when I got home, I was like, oh, I'm gonna feel that tomorrow. But then the next day, I was like, oh my God, I'm chilling. Like I didn't really feel anything. I felt a little tired, but other than that, I was like not hungover, love that. Went through that whole day.

The day after that, I woke up. I thought I had COVID. Oh my God. I literally was like, oh my God, I think I have COVID. I thought I had the flu. I tested myself three times to see if I had COVID. No, I thought I had the flu. And then I like call my mom and I'm in tears.

And my mom goes, well, didn't you drink at that thing. I'm like, that was two days ago. And she was like, I think you're just hung over. What? Oh, that sucks. Two days later, I'm a million. I'm a million years old. I literally was like, I had meetings yesterday. Did I just wake up drunk? Like, I just, I was on those meetings. You were still a little drunk yesterday? I think so. Wow. I think that's why it didn't hit me yet. Oh my God. That's wild. That's so horrible, too, to be like, I'm really ill. And I was like, I think you're hung over. It's like, when you go to the doctor and you're like, I think something's really wrong.

And they're like, it's anxiety. Just like, take a beat. You're fine. That's just anxiety. It's just that. You're fine. You're fine. I know. I was hungover as fuck like two days later.

And I was like, oh my God, I'm dying once it really hit me. And so I was trying to treat it like a hangover. But that same day, I went to the sacred hair launch party, which is where I met Beyonce. Oh, my God. So I was like, I didn't know I was going to meet her. And I was like, when they, I was like, they were like, hey, don't forget, you have that party tonight. I was like, oh my God. So I was literally in my shower. I was like, pull it together, pull it together. I got to lock in. I got to lock in. And so then I like ate like a bunch of food

to try and like make myself feel better and drink a lot of water, a lot of electrolytes. Oh my God. And that seemed to do the trick, I think. I would like to think it worked because I did meet her and I wasn't weird. So you were just super chill about it. No, not at all. She's honestly the only like celebrity I've ever met where I truly like I felt so speechless I didn't even know yeah have you ever met anyone like that Beyonce no no not Beyonce never met I'm saying I never met anyone like Beyonce yeah have you ever met anyone that you were like damn that's crazy I mean yeah no one that I was like I literally can't talk yeah same because you hers was the only one yeah because everybody once you get up close to you're like oh you are like a

person yeah but I don't think Beyonce is I think Beyonce is a goddess so I don't think I would handle that. Yeah, she's otherworldly for sure. Oh my God. I feel like she just was floating on a cloud the whole time. Just gliding around like a roombook. Yeah, I was, yeah, when we were meeting her, I was meeting her with my friend Brittany and she was like, there's no way we're meeting her, right? And I go, I don't know, man, but I feel like they might invite me in that room and she'd be dead. I don't even know. And that would be okay. What a way to go out? Meeting Beyonce. Yeah, that's nuts. I'm like, speechless meeting someone who met Beyonce. That's how insane meeting Beyonce is. I'm just like, you, what?

You were there? When I did that commercial, I worked with a different member of Destiny's Child. But when I get that last one, the prophecy will be complete. I will achieve self-actualization. Yeah, my third eye opens. I elevate at that point. I do have actually another question about your stand-up journey. Okay.

Because you're so successful, obviously, and you're a female comic, I'm like, I love to ask my female comic friends, like, how it's been kind of navigating a very, like, male-centric industry. Right. Obviously, like stand-up is so, it's so common for men to do stand-up, but for women, especially women who succeed, like you have, it's, like, kind of a much different journey. So, like, how has that been for you? I mean, I feel like there's so many women doing stand-up now. I think when I was younger, yeah, it was, it has changed a lot, like, in the last 15 years. I feel like it used to be way more of a thing to be, like, there's only one woman on the show tonight. Like, you have to dress a certain way.

like you can't dress too sexy or whatever like I feel like all of that is I don't want to sound like stupid and say like all that's gone because I don't think it's all gone but it's so much better now than it was when I was a teenager yeah so I feel very lucky in that way and then I think like the female stand-ups that I'm friends with and are sort of like in my class and are coming with me like everyone's very supportive of one another because because there isn't this weird um like I think there was like this weird competition that like really male comics created where they'd be like well there's there's only like one or two good female comics and they kind of go like you're the good one and like and she's two whatever yeah that's actually so true yeah it's like very fucked up and it was created by them not by the women who are pursuing it yeah 1,000% but now um yeah I don't know like so many of my favorite comics are women and my favorite people are female comics so yeah I don't know. I think I was so young when I started that I think I was more thinking about that more so than me being a female comic. Although I will say I was talking to somebody about this the other day.

I wouldn't bring purses to shows because if I brought a purse, people would assume I was a male comedian's girlfriend who was just sitting. Like waiting. Yes, waiting instead of to do a set. I would never bring a purse. If I brought anything, it was a backpack or I would just like have a hoodie with pocket. Yeah, which is such a dumb thing that like men, that's crazy that you have to do that. Yeah, so dumb. It's like, it's like you put up these, you start developing these like guard rails where you're like, okay, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Because then they're going to take me seriously. Right.

Just fucking annoying. Yeah. And I think I was thinking a lot more about like what I was wearing than I can't even imagine. Yeah. When Winnie was on, she was selling me like, because she asked me if I had on stand-up and I've, I haven't, but I've only, well, I've done five. I've done tie-five with, for Caleb and at the Largo and I think the other comic was Chris Fleming and then it was me. And then, which like, you're too successful to start doing stand-up. You don't need to do that. You're, you're an empire. You don't need to start doing stand-up. Do you want to start doing stand-up? I wouldn't mind doing it. My manager is, he is like, you have to try it. Want you on tour.

Try it. Yeah. That's, yeah. And he's like, touring. No, I don't.

And I've told him that too. That's why we've, he's like, well, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Which like, I get what he means because I do love live performing.

Yeah. And like when we did my, my show with my sister, like it's all, essentially it's all improv because we would put out a prompt like beforehand. We'd have audience members fill it out. They'd bring them backstage after the mean greet. We'd pick them and then we'd go on stage and then we'd just rip and just do jokes for like

an hour and a half. So like I do love that part. Like that part is very fun. It's like, it's like all crowd work really at that point. But I think that's really fun. But I also like I love stand up. Like I've loved stand up far before I started doing this, if you can believe it. And I, I, like, loved the art form for so long that I've told him forever.

I'm like, I just don't want to find out the hard way that I'm not good at it. Like as a burgo, I don't like that. But also I'm like, I know I'm funny. But like, my pride is not too big to be like, I'm online funny. not necessarily stand-up funny. Like those are two very different things, I feel like. Right. Sometimes they can exist in the same body, but sometimes they can't.

Yeah, but you could get good at it, you know? Like everybody's bad at first. That's the thing about stand-up is like nobody starts doing stand-up and everyone's like, whoa. No notes. No notes. Good right away. Can't believe it.

That's what we found one. That's true. The prodigy. No, everyone's bad for a while. And that's why it's like, if you really want to do it, I mean, of course you could do it. Yeah. You're like, don't do that. I'm like, you, you're killing it.

I'm just like, stand. Stand, I'm such a funny, like, weird skill to have. Like, once it's your career, everyone's like, oh, cool. But just doing it when you're starting out, you seem insane to everyone who loves you. They're like, okay, so you're just going to go do five minutes for people who aren't going to laugh and you're going to perform for free and empty room. And okay, no, that seems, you're going to drive an hour to do it. Well, less long as you're happy. As long as you're happy.

It's not as you're happy. Yeah, that's like when Caleb was like really trying to, he helped me tremendously. Like I could not have done the five without him. And even then, there's still a lot of work to be done on that five. But like when he was telling me about it, I was like, I don't want to tell anyone. That was honestly the only thing I've ever done that I was like actually very nervous to do. Really? Yeah.

I've done so much shit in front of people publicly. I've done like stage performance. I've hosted. Yeah. I'm so surprised. You know, that's the only thing like in the three years I've been doing this that really like I was like sick to my stomach nervous. Wow. And it's just because I love comedy.

Like I love stand-up specifically. I love joke writing. Like I just think it's such a skill and a thing to have, like, such a special talent to have, which is why I love your stuff so much. So I just love a good joke writer. I just think it's fucking awesome. So I think that's why I was so nervous because I was like, damn, I respect the art for him so much and what if nobody laughs.

And I literally told Caleb, he was like, do you want me to like tell people? Do you want me to promote it? And I was like, no, it's all right. Because I told them I wanted to find out for. real like if I'm yeah because I was like because obviously like if it's people who love me and they come like they're going to laugh no matter what right right so big fan of me but I was like but I just kind of want to go and do it in front of your audience and I we have a lot of crossover but we also don't yeah so I told them I want to be able to tell the jokes and like here for real like if

people actually find the shit funny yeah and he was like I think that's cool that you don't want to that that is cool and I was like yeah I just want to know for realzies like if I'm going to do it I want to do it right but it went well yeah I would say I got some laughs everybody left. Actually, people here came. Yeah, my producer Amanda came, Laura came. That's awesome. That being said, me and Taylor have been yapping like crazy, which is my favorite thing to do on this show. But I did want to read one of these TikToks that's applicable to our topic today. I've been so excited to watch you use your phone with the mittens. And it really hasn't. It really hasn't disappointed me. Okay, so our topic is misogynistic men on the internet who make

generalizations that women aren't as funny as men, obviously, and they hate female stand-ups, which is to be expected. especially from an unfunny man. They really love making fun of comedians. In this clip from an old Conan episode that's resurfaced on TikTok, comedian Nikki Glazer talks about a theory that in dating and relationships, quote, women define good sense of humor as a man who can make them laugh while men define a good sense of humor as a woman who will laugh at their chokes.

And men in the comments were not happy with this theory. That's actually T. Yeah. I feel like that's so fucking true. That's so fucking true. Nicky's so funny. It's when men want you to laugh at things. things that are not funny.

Yeah. Whether it's just like a bad joke or if it's like offensive. I hate it when you talk to men about girls they're dating and they're like, yeah, we get along great. And you're like, well, what do you like about her? And he's like, she just like, she just really gets me. And you're like, yeah, but like what's something else? What, like, what does she like?

Like I said, like we really hit it all. Yeah, it's always, it always comes back to it always. I'm happy. It's crazy. I talked to a guy once where he kept saying that. was like, let me stop you because someone else is going to ask you this at some point, you need to say something about her. Do you know anything about this?

Do you know anything? Say she's funny, nice, hardworking. Like any adjectives that are a separate thing from you, it was really, really upsetting. Like, shocking to see. But yeah, it does seem like, I don't know, I know lots of guys who do like that they are married to or dating funny women. And then I also know lots of guys who are like, she's really funny. And you're like, she's really not.

She's just hot. Yeah. And you're not funny either. And you don't know what funny is. Actually, neither of you are funny. Yeah, mesh made in heaven, honestly. You guys have a lot in common. She was just not much.

Yeah. That is always so funny to me. Like, that's so true. You're like, we just really got along well. Yeah. And they can't tell you one fucking thing about her. Not one thing. I don't know anything about her, but she did laugh at all my jokes.

Yeah. And I did tell the offensive ones and she still laughed. So I think that's a green flag. Or like, we talked all night. And it's like, did you talk on night because she asked you all the questions? Or what did you ask? Did you learn anything about her? Did you learn anything?

Or did you just get to talk uninterrupted for a very long time? And that makes you feel good. That's like honestly so funny, like a woman who will just laugh at all their jokes. Yeah. Yeah. It's so frustrating because I feel like when women are looking to date men, they are looking for somebody funny. Yeah. But I don't feel like that is the case is often in reverse. It's really not. Isn't it kind of like sometimes you have friends and they're like, oh, he's so funny though. And then you meet them and you're like,

I mean, a lot of people just maybe to someone. That's true. It's like a lot of people just think the people they're dating are funny and they're really just not. And I think a lot of people think they're funny and they aren't. Funny to you or funny to most people. Right. I think that's a important distinction yeah no that's for sure i i even asked i've asked my fiance i'm like who do you think's funnier between the two of us and he was like um i would say you and i go it's a good answer because that's the right answer he laughed he goes i mean i don't think i'm not funny but i do think that you're funnier than me i mean it would be crazy if he said he was funny i don't know him but like it would be insane yeah would be really if he was like if he was like

Yeah, I think it's me. Have fun at your podcast, babe. Your wildly successful podcast. Where you tell jokes for living. Yeah. But I think I'm funnier. Bye. That would be crazy.

That would be crazy. I don't know him, but that would be crazy. I don't know him. You're so handsome. I'm sure you're funny. But that would be crazy. Yeah. I made a joke once to him because he asked me once like, because sometimes we'll ask

each other like these ridiculous fucking questions. Like one time he asked me, he goes, what would you do if one day I woke up and I was just like really, really into cosplaying? And I was like, what do you mean? Like, really? And he's like, like, I got to buy all this stuff. And I go to something like every weekend. I start taking like classes where I learned how like fight and stuff like like sword fight. Can I just say this is anxious attachment. You two thinking up scenarios going, would you leave me if I was into cosplay? It's funny because what else? What if I, what if I had a sword? Then would you leave me? Then what? One time I asked him, would you still love me if I had arms like yours?

Like if I was built like him. And he said no. And then I got mad. What? So the joke's on me. Did he take it back? Yeah. He was like, well, I'm like not like, it's just, I was like, oh, your, your masculinity's threatened.

When I have biceps as big as yours, that's what that, that's massage you by the way. Just kidding. I know every man who fucking hates me. If you clip that shit, I'm going to be so pissed because I'm wearing this outfit. So obviously, it's a bad look on me. from both ends. Relax. That was a joke. Anyways. He asked me, what would you, like, what would you do? Like, I was like, like, what would I do if you started doing that? And he's like, yeah, and I go, and you're exactly who you are now. And he said, yeah. And I go, okay, this is not a joke.

I'm being dead serious. I'd probably take you to see a doctor. Would you really? I'm being so serious. And I have never made him laugh that hard. Like, he laughed for like 20 minutes. You wouldn't just, like, tie a cape on? I mean, and drive him to the feet. deals where the thing is. Trust me, I don't know anything about Cosper. If he just woke up the next day and developed that, something's off. Got to check. And if everything's fine, I support you.

Okay. But I just want to make sure we're good up here. You're like if any big personality changes happen, I am going to get you checked out. Just in case. Just in case. But I'm fine with whatever you choose. That's specifically. I'm telling you that specifically.

Yeah, because he has told me. verbatim that he thinks acting is the most humiliating job in the world for him like he's like for me that would be embarrassing well it's a form of acting you're acting I guess yeah you know but you're playing pretend it's all the same yeah I guess that's true and I love a cosplay don't get me wrong I'm just saying if my man started doing that out of nowhere burnt toast something's wrong I'm smelling it and I need to check it I'm just saying like that's I just need to check something I'm sorry I'm smelling burnt toes, I need to take you somewhere. Has he come up with a scenario that you were like, yes, I would leave you for that?

Hmm. I'm trying to think. We do ask each other the most ridiculous ones. I love it. I love that you're constantly testing your connection. Yeah. Just constantly just shake. Is this?

How about this? Is this for real? Yes or no. I'm trying to think, I don't think he's ever told me one where I was like, yeah, I can't do that. Oh, honestly, he told me if I went on TikTok and I started doing like, like the thirst traps, like with no shirt on and like no underwear and I've like loose dirty gray sweats. You'd leave him for that? Yeah, absolutely. I would. Really? Well, you're not going to embarrass me like that. What the fuck. Hey, get your bag king, but find someone else who's going to be in it. You know what I'm saying?

Really? Oh yeah. No, that I draw the line. I'd rather you cosplay, to be honest. That's sort of like cosplaying. Is it? Yeah, so you're cosplaying a douchebag. Or are you just one? Well, there you go. Potato potato. He was exactly the same. He starts doing that. But he makes those videos. Yeah. But, but, but as soon as the video stops, he's like, that guy sucked. Would that be okay? No. Then I'd be afraid of him. Okay.

Yeah. Then I'd be a little funny. I can't believe that's your deal right here. It'd be like the movie split. With James Mackle. That'd be kind of fun. He starts crawling on all fours. Well, now I have to draw the line.

Now, I'm not a big fan of that. Wait, let me read some of these comments. Okay, so this one says, American comedians just read out Pinterest quotes with vocal fry and call it a joke. It's not so much women. it's American women. Pinterest quotes with vocal fry. Yeah, and also...

He put comedians, which is... I hate that. I hate that shit, too. I hate it so much. Why are we gendering it? It's fucking... You're a comic. Hold on, I'm gonna test this out.

Pinterest quote. Here we go. I'm sure we'll find a good one. Right. And with vocal fry. Oh, here we go, yeah. Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. That is my stand-up, honestly. That's more so honest. That's honestly my stand-up.

That's the hour. If you guys needed a preview of the hour, that's what it is. It's your first hour. No, to self, I get to determine how bad or good my day is. That's my new stand-up special, I think. Honestly, that sounds like Mel Robbins, so I don't know what we're talking about. Like, that's not, that's not comedy, but okay. There's not crazy comment. He's just like, where do women go for words? Pinterest? She probably got those jokes on Etsy. bitch. I fucking bitch.

Fucking bitch. This next one says, to be honest, men just want a woman who can take a joke and not get angry if something's slightly sexist. Sorry, my eyes rolled so hard back. Yeah. Just a little. Oh, my God. Jeez.

I've talked shit on male comics who like lean too heavy into the feminist shit or like the, you know, misogyny shit. Uh-huh. And I've said many times and I know, I'm sure you can echo the same sentiment that like, if you think that's our first time hearing a fucking misogynistic joke, you're out of your mind. Like, especially someone like you who's grown up in the world, like you've been working in comedy for fucking years. You think that's the first offensive joke. Yeah. We've ever heard no. If I haven't heard it, I'd probably laugh.

I know. That's my point. I might be surprised. That's exactly my point. I literally said, I'm like, I'd be like, that's bad. Don't tell people. But that is, you got me. But yeah, you know what? That one's kind of good. That was kind of good. I work shop at a little, but that one's kind of good. I literally, I'm like, have you guys ever considered that maybe the shit just sucks. Yeah. Like, it's just a poorly written joke. Like, there are many, it's like that, I saw some, I forget which comic it was. I can't remember who it was, but he was like, it's true you can say anything. You just, you have to do it well. Yeah. And like, when you don't do it well, you hear about it. Like, it's like, and if it's offensive on top of that and you didn't

do it well, now you're hearing that it sucked and also that people are offended. So it's like, if you're going to walk the line, then you got to do it well. Yep. And maybe you're just bad. Like, I was like, have you ever thought that maybe you're just bad at writing jokes? Like, the shit It's just not funny. I don't think they have thought that. Especially not men. Not for fucking sure. And I, and I, that, the comic that I was making fun of, I, like, I literally was like,

every joke you said, I could go to, like, your racist white uncle's Facebook page, and I could find that shit in meme form. Yep. Probably with a minion on it. Yeah, which would be better. Yeah. Which, like. I'd love to see a minion.

Yeah, I could talk about that scrolling Pinterest for women, male comics go on Facebook. Yeah. And they just scroll, they stop, and they're like. I'm reading Reddit with vocal fry. There it is. I'm going to joke about how women love astrology. Fucking stupid bitches. Like, the shit sucks.

I think it's just not funny. Like, if you're going to be offensive, you got to at least try to be funny. Like, at least try. But, like, they can't even do that because the skill level is too high for that. So I feel like it's just too much of a challenge. And whenever they say, like, oh, you can't joke about anything these days, I always say, I'm like, that never stops you. I don't know why.

Yeah. How many times have comics been told, hey, that's. fucked up don't say that and they just continue to say it and then they add on and people get mad at me when I say that. Yeah, no, I don't think that's true at all. And I actually think that when people do get like canceled now for stuff they say, it just helps their career. Yeah, for real. That's why it's like, I don't know. You can say whatever you want. Yeah, like clearly. I'm like, no one's stopping you clearly. Like it doesn't matter how many people complain. You're still doing it. This one says, some girls just want to believe they're funny and won't take silence as an answer. Very few rare

moments. My girl actually makes me. That's so wild. Can you imagine being a man on the internet writing out, yeah, my girlfriend doesn't ever make me laugh or bring me joy. She's so not funny. And I'm going to use it to prove a point on this professional comedians comment on television. God, that's so insane. That's like the guy who's like, look, I love her, but she's not funny. She's like, she's hot, but she's not fucking funny. And she's kind of a bitch.

And she's kind of a bitch. but she loves me but I love her though I do but if she didn't love me she's fat fuck her so it doesn't matter she's fat so who cares

oh my god I don't know if this has happened to you like recently especially I'll do things like I'll go film stuff or like I'll get asked to come do stuff and like some you know sometimes they have like cameras and they want to do B-roll stuff of you

like waiting or whatever and like I was at something I was filming all day and then they kept following me around to like catch B-Row role of me just talking and at the end of the day the guy that was like following me the most he goes you know what you're actually pretty funny and then I was like a word do you think so those are you were the ones you were the one I wanted to convince oh thank God I've been so worried

I was going to be up all night if you didn't find me funny oh what was I going to do I loved it when men after shows when I was younger especially used to come to me and be like I hate female comedians I mean I think they suck but you're really really You were funny. You got me. And you're like, oh, me. You obviously have great taste. Little old me.

Oh, my God. I'm like, if you think all female comics suck, then I actually hope you don't think I'm funny. Yeah. Because you clearly have terrible judgment. You have terrible taste. Actually, that hurts my feelings. I actually think I'm not funny now.

Because you think I'm funny. I'm going to have to rework my whole hour now just because you told me that. I had one of my friends was on and she's doing stand-up now. She's like in the early stages of doing. stand-up so she's been doing clubs here and there and she told me that recently she she did really well and she did like 30 minutes or something and she killed and then she said after the guy that went after her or no right before her was an older man he was probably like in his 40s 50s and she said that he bombed like nobody laughed it was really bad and it was it sucked then she went on she kind of saved the night

by like doing her 30 and then she said when she caught off the guy was like hey man you know you got a lot of potential. But I did want to give you some notes. And he gave her a bunch of fucking notes. And I said, and did you stand there and listen to her? She goes, well, yeah, because I, like, he just like cornered me and I didn't know what to say. And she's not very confrontational. Oh my God. But I was like, that's crazy that he's giving you advice. Yeah, no. I was like, well, see, I would listen to you, but nobody laughed at your jokes. So I like, I don't think you're the guy that I should be seeking counsel from. Like, oh, I don't want you to tell me. Ooh. Well, if I listen to you, are people going to not laugh like how they didn't laugh at yours?

because I don't want that to happen to me. Oh, no. I've always told people, you should just act fucking stupid. Like, when they do that, you should be like, okay, well, thank you. But are they not going to laugh like they didn't laugh at you? Because I think the points to make them laugh. I did that. So don't do what I did.

Yes. Got it. Don't do what I. I'm going to change everything. I'm going to rework it all. Thank you so much. She said she gets that a lot. Like men will be like.

That's crazy. And it's funny because they say the same thing. They're like, you know, I don't really think women are fun. funny, but... And I've gotten that many times. I don't think women are that funny, but you're... You know, you're... You're not...

You're not too bad. Gee, thanks. It's so boring. I know. It's just like... I don't know. I kind of like don't really hear that anymore or like the comments you get online that are like, women only talk about sex and you're like, that's just like not true. And men don't?

Yeah, it's just boring. It's like not even fun to talk about. I know. Because you're like, okay. Like it just Like you know the kids in school who like Were so like no one could bully them Because they would just be like

All right? Like that's how I feel now with men who are like Women aren't funny. All you talk about is your vagina. You're like okay. Yeah. Do you feel better? I relate to that so heavily.

It's crazy. I relate to that so heavy. I'm exhausted for me. Yeah. Recently I like I like because obviously my fucking niche like I always have men who think they're like Socrates and they're like. Has anyone?

never thought about like yeah they have like that i'm just mean yeah they have believe it or not yeah people have said that about me before but again like men think they're the first person to ever have thoughts right so they need to tell people and so whenever they critique me like if i'm like hey suck on my nuts like i i never entertain conversations with men who are like committed to misunderstanding me and they just they want to take a like logical approach to it but recently they'll tell me like oh then debate me you should have me on your show debate me yeah on what human rights I'm not doing that. And then I told them...

Have me on your show and debate me? I can't even tell you how many times men who hate me have asked to come on my show or told me I should invite them to prove it. You should say, yes, of course. And then just send them to an empty parking lot. I send them to that place where they sent Donald Trump when he was in front of the fucking lawnmowers

or whatever the fuck. I send them there. That's just the place they go. That's fucking insane. Yeah, isn't that crazy? I'm like, you're asking me to platform you a nobody? Oh, no. And it's funny.

because when they asked me to debate, I go, here's my answer to that. No. And then when I say no, I'm like, no, go fuck yourself. They go, well, that's what I thought. You're fucking afraid of me. You don't want to be challenged. You don't want to be. And every time they say that, I go, okay. I mean, if that makes you feel better, I'm cool with that. Like, when you drive to AutoZone tomorrow and you're sitting in gridlock and you're thinking about that, you're going to be like, that fucking bitch is afraid of me. I hope it brings you joy. I hope it brings you joy. I hope you have a good day at work. I hope that that keeps you warm at night. Yeah. That's insane that they punch the card at the Circle K. I hope that your co-workers laugh. I really do. They think that would

go well for them? Apparently. That's what I'm like, you guys think because I tell people to suck on my wiener that I'm stupid and given the outfit, I can see why you think that. However, no, I think this outfit's going to change a lot of mine. I did. I really shake the table for them. They're like, you know what? You know what? She is funny. Is that tinky winky? You know what? Wait. She is good. She might be on to something. She might be cooking a little bit. I know. Every time they ask me, that's so funny.

I relate to that sentiment so heavily. I'm very like, okay. Because I don't give a fuck if men find me funny. No. Like, I really don't fucking care. Like, the worst men in the world. Like, if the only men laughing at my jokes are men whose whereabouts are being questioned from January 6th, I'm not funny. Yeah. Like, I'm not funny. I need to rework. I need to regroup. I need to rewrite. Yeah, those are the only comments online that don't, not the only, but I try not to read comments because I don't want anything to hurt my feelings.

But I don't, I don't feel insecure about whether or not I'm funny. Yeah. Like, I just know I'm funny. If I'm not for you, that's fine. Yeah, I think that too. But I am objectively funny. Just like, long, long sigh. So if people comment that I'm not funny, I'm like, that's embarrassing for you to be wrong.

But if somebody's like, you look. look ugly in this. I'm like, now we, now we have a debate. Now we can talk about, I hear you on that. I am funny though. But if you have comments about my outfit sucks, I will hear those. I will hear that. I'm willing to entertain that. I'm willing to entertain that. Um, that is correct. My car sucks. You're probably right. But I am funny. That's so real. That's why I'm like, I don't give a fuck if you think I'm ugly because I get fat and ugly all the fucking time, especially for my new hamy, but not funny, now you're lying to me and God. That's not fucking cool. Don't do that.

I was like, you're lying. That's an act of lie. Yeah. Objectively. And I always tell people like, let's look at tape. Like, one of us gets paid to do this for living and you're at home. So like, I don't know, again, I don't know if you're the person as we could ask the people follow me if they think I'm funny. Like, we could ask. But I think the same thing. It's funny too because recently, like I get asked questions a lot where they're like, oh, what's, you know, is there ever been an insult that you got that was like actually stuck with you? And I've always like, no, because men are not creative.

Like, even in the slightest, it's, it's just variations of fat and ugly over and over again. Quite frankly, I'm bored, right? I'm playing against myself at this point. And I was like, but one time, one person wrote something about me that I truly, like, I was like, yeah, yeah, that one got me. Like, you got, you nick me. Yeah, you got me. Someone once just wrote Pot of Greed on Twitter, and she just screenshot a terrible picture of me. I will say that.

And he said, he just wrote, pot of greed. That's it. And that tweet had like 10 likes. And I remember looking at it and I go, pot of greed, right? So I googled it. And it's a Yu-Gi-O card. And it's like an evil chalice. And when I saw the picture of that evil mug, it did look like me.

Like he got me. Like he fucking got me. You got me. Hey, hey, you got me. What? What part of being funny for a living is real, recognizing real. You got me. Like when you look up the Yu-Gi-Gi-Gri- Yeah, I do look like that thing.

Okay. you got me right and I and I told that joke it's a mug yeah it's a chalice it's a chalice it's literally a chalice you look like a chalice oh it has a face on it has a face as an evil face and he got that person got me whoever the fuck that was they got me and I was like and I've told that joke before and like people have laughed at it they're like oh like oh like you know they're like oh that's so funny oh she does look like that I'm like relax yeah too much I already said it yeah yeah let's calm down that was like a year or two ago. And then fast forward to now, like recently I saw like when I was seeing, I saw a hate video about me. In the comments, I saw some like people just went pat-a-greed, pat-a-grit.

And then I saw a guy wrote, when I saw a guy call her pot of greed, I've never looked at her the same. And I literally made a video about this. And I was like, actually annoyed. And I was like, hey, listen, we could sit here and we could joke all fucking day. One thing you're not going to do is take credit for my fucking jokes, bitch. I said that shit. Yeah. I made that funny. And I was like, you guys are fucking useless. You need me for everything. Even to insult myself, you guys need me for that too? Jesus Christ. I was like, I don't care what you say about me,

but one thing you're not going to do is take credit for my jokes. Because you guys never would have known about pot of greed if it wasn't for me. So that's me being honest. I was like, that's the only thing that bothers me. Wow. That's so specific. I know. I know.

He fucking got me. Like, hey, you got me. Like, thank you for telling me what I should feel insecure about. I didn't know. I'd never seen the evil cup. No, yeah, because I wasn't, bringing that to my attention. I wasn't a fucking geek. So I didn't play, Ugi.

My fucking dad, I didn't know that card existed. Now I do. But I was popular in high school. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. But yeah, I get you on that. You're like, objectively, I am funny. So we're not going to sit here and debate.

Yeah, that's, we're bored. Anything else. Look, we can talk about it. One thing I'm not going to talk about that. I'll take notes. I, you have a cream? I'll put a cream on. Whatever you think.

Isshadow? What do you got? Give me a right. Just bring a solution with you. Yeah. For real, literally. If you're coming to the table, bring a solution. I feel it. But anyways, we have talked about a lot of things. We have. We've,

we've really spun the gamut over here. But I would love if you could give the audience some advice on any, especially female comedians who are comedians, if you will, coming up in the space. I didn't know what you're talking about until you said comedian. Now I got it. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. We need to clarify. Yeah. They're ladies. Lady comics. If they're coming up in the business or maybe they're aspiring to like whether it's just to write jokes or to be to stand up as a whole like what would you say is your best piece of advice for them especially in this new climate of like kind of like social media and like you know a lot of female comics coming up at the same time what would you say is your best piece of advice i think my best piece of advice besides the obvious one that i

give literally everyone which is just write and get on stage as much as possible yeah is make friends with other female comics oh that's because especially when you start doing the road and stuff like you're just being on the road with my friend like Sophie Buttle who opens for me it just it's just different you know just girls are just different yeah um and if all of your friends are male comics they're just they're not going to relate to you in every way that you're going to need other comics to relate to you is kind of what I've found yeah um so I really appreciate my female comic friends and I think that that's helped me um to develop my voice on stage too because they're they're a little bit more um I think they're a little bit

quicker to be like oh that joke doesn't really sound like I had a friend say something to me before my first special I think that was like oh that joke's really funny but it just doesn't really sound like you like it's not it's not it doesn't match your personality really and it helped me rewrite it in a way that did so I don't know I don't want to say that like male comics aren't doing that for each other because I'm sure they are as well but but it's different it's just different yeah I don't know community like yeah other women who understand like the business itself and how it works yeah and understand like traveling alone can be scary and like give you support and advice on that level like totally it's just different like a lot of male comics alone on the road aren't gonna have the same fears

yeah absolutely not or you're back in that matter too like when it comes to certain jokes and stuff especially too like if you're still workshopping stuff yeah that actually makes a lot of sense to me to like have other women who can relate and give you tips and advice like I think that's so sick especially surrounding yourself with people who are like different kinds of comics than you yes that's really cool too absolutely and you can develop a little bit more that way yeah I think that's awesome period well thank you so much for coming on the show thanks for having me oh my gosh anytime anytime you see me I'll just wear this so I mean please that way you recognize me and I'll come as the yellow one next time what's the yellow one

one's name. I think yellow one is Dipsy Whipsy or something. There's like it's It's probably that. Tinky Winky, Po. Po. There's Lala. It's Lala. Damn it. Can't remember Lala's name. Percule. Hard left. There you go. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. You're a fucking icon. I'm honored to have had you.

You're incredible. I'm literally going to make a vision board with you in the middle. Make sure I'm in this outfit. Oh yeah. Of course. It's like I can't see you any differently. I fucking hope you do. some extent. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. You're fucking awesome. And I do want to say, before we go, that I admire you greatly. And I think what you're doing is fucking awesome. And I think you're the way that you, your stand up, because I have watched your specials. Oh, that's so nice. But I think that your way of standup is, is like done in a way where it makes it almost like,

it's relatable to many people of different ages. Like, I think that's wonderful. You know, sometimes people have a very specific age demographic. But I feel like yours spans many. And I think that's a skill. I think that's fucking incredible. And I think that's why you're so successful. Thank you. I hope that's true. Yeah. I'd like to say so. I think your accolades speak for themselves, but I'll remind you if you need it. Thank you. That's what I'm here for. Thank you. I start emailing you. I'm like, can you remind me again of my accolates? How fucking awesome I am. I just need a, I need a quick pick me up. I'll do it for you any day you want, girl. You're the fucking best. But I think you're amazing and I'm honored to have had you. Thank you so much for

coming for those of you that are i don't know born yesterday uh where can everybody find you oh at taylor tomlinson i think on everything yes and you can watch after midnight you can watch after midnight on paramount plus or cbs and uh i think my website's taylor talmanson comedy dot com and i'm on the save me tour starting period whenever this comes out in october it's i'm out there i'm doing it yeah she's going on tour so make sure you go see her she's so fucking funny and you're a light and i'm so happy to have had you. Thank you for coming. Thank you. And thank you all for tuning in to this amazing episode of the comment section. Don't forget to follow Taylor. Tomlinson on literally everything. Make sure you check out after midnight and Paramount Plus. And also make sure you go see her on tour.

I'm just reiterating everything she just said. But now you know you have to do it because I said so. But thank you so much for joining us on this episode. Thank you so much to my amazing guest. For those of you who are not familiar or don't remember, you can watch new episodes of the comment section every Wednesday. The audio streams on all streaming platforms in the video list for free and exclusively on our favorite platform Spotify. Thank you again to Taylor. Thank you all so much for watching, and I'll see you next week. Bye!