The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - GUYS, IT’S MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY Ft. Sarah Doerner | Episode 190

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

Sarah Doerner (aka sarahcha) joins Drew on the show this week for another terrifying Spooky Season episode. Drew and Sarah talk about the Plowman’s Lunch, Sarah’s run as a National Shakespeare Competition semi-finalist, what to do when your roommate boils his pantaloons in your shared pot, getting girlbossed by the police, and so much more. Sarah IG: https://www.instagram.com/ssarah.cha/Sarah Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sriracha.dFollow The Comment Section on IG! https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/ eBay is the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Stop taking bad travel advice. Start comparing hundreds of sites with kayak and get your trip right. Bad advice? You talking to me? Kayak. Got that right. When you tell the time, like, tell me what the time is, don't be like, oh, a quarter past, blah, blah, blah. All of these British people are like, you fucking Americans.

I'm like, I just want to know if it's 702 or not. Hey, shut up and tell me the real time. The moss grows on the north side of the tree. I'm like, tell me the dye. Yeah, it make me read a sun dial. Why don't you? Everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Common Section show. Welcome your, well, first of all, happy spooky season.

Yay! Me not even, me not even acknowledge. that my head is being shoved through a hole. Anyways, I'm so excited to spend spooky season with y'all and to welcome our very special guests. Please welcome the iconic, the hilarious, the ridiculously talented, Sarah Durner, woo!

A.k.a. Hi. Hi. I'm so glad you're dressed up like me. Thanks. Wait, what? Nobody ever wants to match my freak when they come on my home. I don't know what the hell you're talking.

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eBay, things people love. We both have our heads shoved through a hole. I know. And we're both happy to be here. This morning, I was scrunch. I was like, pulling it so my high could fit there. Being reborn. I had to fit through here.

I know, and yours is so erect. I wish mine was. I had to shove cardboard up there to make her stand up straight. I'm so serious. Oh, it's not just on its own. No, it was real flaccinct. when I didn't have the cardboard in there. I thought that was a little off-putting to look at.

That's okay. There's no shame in needing a little boost. Right, right. We all need a little help. It's okay. I'm so excited to have you. Honored to have you. How's life been?

Diva, good. Yeah, I bet. I just put on new nails this morning, so we're feeling great. Feeling fresh, feeling cute. Feeling good. Feeling excited that I'm still here. After the rapture, we survived it. We did in fact.

You and I. Oh, my God. What were your plans if we did get raptured? Ooh. If you had any. If they took me up or if they kept me down. Both. I'll take both.

Yeah. If they took me up, they would send me back down. And if I stayed down, I saw a video of this lady who was like, get down there. You're going to be down there with your sins. You're going to all of you sinners. I was like, okay. So all the fun people are going to be here. Right.

Okay. Right. Okay. So my people. Right. My community. Oh, my fesdies are here. I was like, yeah, I know damn well.

All my friends are sinners. We're right. We're all getting left behind. If they got taken up and I didn't, I'd be offended. You know what I mean? Would you leave your clothes? Like the clothes I have on me? Like what I just get sucked up naked?

Probably not. Yeah. I'd probably wear a big t-shirt. God has to let you wear a big t-shirt in heaven. Big t-shirt, no pants. Yeah, they don't let you wear them in Love Island, but they should let you wear them in heaven. Absolutely.

Because that's a different kind of hell, I think, Love Island. If I had to guess. They always do challenges where they're covered in goo, and then they can't take a bath. A bath? A bath? They don't let them take a bath.

They have to literally wear a two-piece at all times. I know fully. Sometimes you need a big tea. That's my nightmare. What if I want to swim in my swim shirt, then what? Absolutely. I'm always in a tankeenie. What if my shoulders are burned and I can't have them exposed anymore than what?

Absolutely. Well, I'm excited to have you here. I know, like, everyone is, I don't think, as familiar with your lore, but I'd love to know how you came to be on TikTok in the first place. Absolutely. Well, so I graduated in 2020, which was awesome. and then perfect timing perfect timing especially because I went to school for acting um and they were like well no one's ever going to act ever again I thought we were all going to die like we're all going to get raptured for real that one did feel real in 2020 that one did feel real absolutely did feel like

shit um and I was like oh I'm so depressed oh I hate my life um and then I wasn't posting anything and then I just like post a couple videos for my friends which was like basically what I'm doing now honestly I'm truly just posting for friends Yeah. But yeah. And then I got another job at a coffee shop. And I was like, I have always had shit experiences with customers. So I'm going to talk about it all the time.

Yeah, I have to. How else do you survive it? And I did. And I think I've said before on the show many times, I think the service industry is one of the hardest to work in literally ever. Absolutely it is. People like being intentionally incompetent or rude is insane. People just love it. They have no control in their own lives.

So they're like, I know that you make below minimum wage. So I should come in here and be mean to you. And you are every day. I literally said that as that was so shocking to me when I was a server for half a second because I couldn't believe. It felt like they were intentionally leaving the house to go harass someone. And where can I legally do it a restaurant? Absolutely.

And then I won't tip. They never do. And then I'm going to find a reason that's valid to only me and my family. Yeah. About why I didn't tip. Yeah. I remember I got a I got a review I've never gotten a bad review this is the one time I've gotten a bad review on yelp it was paragraphs long of this ancient man who was like this he called

me a little girl he said I was the manager of a coffee shop he's like this tiny little baby girl this child this fetus was raising her voice to me fully I was like hey it was just after COVID restriction had been lifted and I was like hey I'm so sorry you can't move the chairs like there's a certain number of chairs we have to have a table he's like what are you about like I know it's a stupid rule but like you have to and he kept moving them and I go sir I I really don't need the attitude I just need you to keep the chair where it is and he was like flipped his lid he left comes back the next day talks to my coworker he goes are you the manager to him and he was like yeah couldn't even fathom that I would be the manager right literally of course not

and he goes you need to apologize to me oh no I don't know what that means it's funny because no I don't because you're not the boss of me. So, sorry. But it's literally how I handled most hate like that. I'm like, I actually don't have to do that because you're not the boss of me. I can actually do whatever I want. Oh, you're my mom? Yeah.

Mm. Actually, no, because I'm 30, so, no. I just have my 30th birthday. I am not a baby. Yeah. No. No. So you had to confront that guy.

He wrote a bad review about you. Bad review. It was paragraphs. Yeah, yeah. Damn. I was like, okay, and what? Harping about the chairs? Yeah.

What do you mean? He was like, I was waiting for a date. No, you weren't. Well, that's the first lie you've told me since you've been in here. And that's kind of fucked up. Yeah. And then he goes, do you want to apologize to me? I go, do you want to apologize to me?

What are we talking about? Yeah, you first. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Yeah, okay. Rock paper, scissors, just go for it. That's full straws. That's so funny. I can't even imagine, especially with men, too, like the way that they talk to women in the service industry is like actually insane.

It's actually, it is. I mean, I will have people. What's the craziest one you've ever had? I'm sure there's a few. Oh my God. Well, this one was actually the most insane. My first job, I worked in Albertsons at a grocery store. I started young.

I started young when they hated me. They made me the sample girl because I did theater in high school. And they were like, well, you do theater. So you must love to talk to people. That's actually the complete fucking opposite. Who said that? Then who's that? I like to entertain people.

Absolutely. So they put me as a sample girl and I don't know what holiday it was. Maybe it was like a football thing, but I was doing tortilla chips, guacamole and salsa and just doing samples. And I had a little tiny trash can out front of the little stand and this woman comes up, guacamole salsa. She goes, what's the difference between these two? I was like, okay, well, one is green. Then one is red. Should you start with color, texture?

Yeah. What can you see? How many fingers are my own? And she was like, oh, yeah, what's the difference between these two? I was like, well, this one is guacamole and avocado. And this one is salsa. She goes, okay, takes the chip, scoops into the guacamole, takes a bite. And she goes, hmm, I make better.

So we agree that you knew what that was. She goes, wrong. That's trash. That's what that is. She said, disgusting. And then she takes her little cup, like the chips came in like a little cup. throws the cup in the trash can, kicks the trash can over, whether it was intentional or not, I don't know, looks at me and goes, someone kicked over your trash can. What the hell?

That's crazy. I have a gun. It's crazy because I don't like this job that much. My 14. I'm also a child. So there's that too. I'm wearing a lime green polo. I'm like, are you bullying?

I've said before, like, some of the jobs I've had, where I was interacting with like people, like customers, constituents, whatever. The way, yeah, the way I say that is because that's the job I had right after college where I worked with my mom. I worked for my mom. But I've said before many times, I know. She's new. She hasn't heard it. I had to tell the audience.

It's why I'd be. Basically, I just did like, I'd pass out bad news about construction. Like, that was like kind of like the short, long and short of it. Okay. Like, we did PR for major freeway projects, things like that. So like, you know, people, you know what people. love to hear about traffic and commute. And like when I would walk around and do that shit, we would do these things called neighborhood meetings, which are like, one thing you need to know

about an old person, they love a neighborhood meeting. If there's a place they can get free coffee, donuts and bitch, they are going to be there. Seven a.m. on the dot. On the dot. They're going to be waiting outside that elementary school auditorium for me to open the door. Like they are waiting to get in there. And so like anytime we went to that shit, they would ask me the most insane questions to where I'm like, well, clearly I make the decisions because I'm wearing a too small polo and I'm talking to you at 7 a.m. on a Saturday. Absolutely. Mind you, it's a Saturday and I'm 21 and I'm talking to you because that's what I would love to do.

Like one time this old man was yelling because I worked with my sister, which is a bad idea regardless. But she and I were like just hitting the streets for those flyers and all those projects. One time we did this neighborhood meeting just, I think it was the two of us and like one of our other coworkers, this old man starts harassing my sister, like, starts asking her questions, but then it just turns into like, I just want to talk at you. I want to yell at you. Right. Because I'm 100 and I don't know what's going on anymore. They love to do. They love to do that. Especially to young women. They love to do that to women. And so he starts like talking, like asking questions faster than she can answer them. Like she's answering the question. He's like,

well, what about this? Well, what about this? And then as she's in the middle of answering another question, he goes, where are you from? What country did you come from? mind you, my sister's been talking. So you can hear her. Like, she doesn't have an accent. Like, she's been talking. And at that point, I walked over, I said, what does that matter? Fully.

Do you have a question about the freeware or no? And then he was like, I just want to know who they're employing. I just turned my back. I was like, see, that's the thing is I need this job. So I can't say all the things I want to say to you. Where are you from? What's the traffic like? And then they're like, you're going to do this to my commute.

I hate the free. I'm doing it. I'm like, Diva. I hate the freeway too. Hello. Here's the line to complain. Yeah, I'm like giving them the line to complain. You complain.

I hate them. I hate them too, girl. Well, I heard what you said. So now I'm out here and I'm ruining your commute. Yeah, it was one of those like jobs where it's just like no matter what you say or do. Like they're going to find something. They don't care. They're just they're so eager to yell at you.

Well, even if I mean, even in like coffee, things could be absolutely perfect. You do it exactly how they went. They're like, no. No. I completed the task and they're pissed. They're like, what did you change? Nothing. Absolutely.

I turned my back and I went. And I handed it and they're like, it's divine. Thank you so much. Thank you for fixing that. I appreciate it. Have you only worked in service? Have you worked in like retail or anything like that? I've never done retail.

I know that's a different type of housecapes, which is horrific, but only food. But people are insane with food, obviously. I get it. It's like I only worked in that one restaurant. I even told that story recently to my friend Eric about a guy. I caught a guy. a guy I trained. I didn't know I was training my replacement at the time,

but then he went in the bathroom and smoked meth. And I was like telling my manager, I was about to tell my manager, like, he smokes meth. Like, I don't know about that. He's at my, bad news, meth. And I remember when I said, when I was about to say it, he was like, I'm going to let you go.

And I was said, oh, why is that? Like, I was like, he said, where are you from? And you're like, how are you finding me in all my jobs? But even when I, When I had told that story on Eric's show, like, I saw the clip recently. And like in the comments, people were like, I don't know if that's meth. Like, he was probably smoking weed.

What do you care, first of all? Listen, I smoke meth. I know what that's like. I would know. I would know. But I was like, I was talking about it with my fiancee because I was like, what do you care about correcting the, first of all, it wasn't weed. I know what that smells like.

Yeah. And meth has a very different smell. So I know what that smells like, too. What did it smell? It has such a distinct smell. It's like almost like oil burning. I don't really know. It smells like incense.

Honestly, if I had to guess the smell of meth, it would be that. Like if I was like, okay, that smells sinister and evil. They give you four cents to choose from. You're like, that one's definitely. Trust me, this one's meth. But you've mostly worked in food service. Mostly food. The reason I went is because I remember a woman at my first coffee shop job.

No, at my second coffee shop job, I worked at three, the one where I got the bad review. It was towards the end of the day, a woman, like an older woman and her friend come in. Her friend was so nice. She's like, can I get a hot chocolate? I was like, absolutely, that's so adorable. And then the woman's like, can I get a hot coffee? Absolutely. I had just brewed a fresh pot.

I had just brewed a fresh pot. That's important. I pour it for her. Go and give it to the table. She comes up and she goes, this. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th, the powerful vocals of Demi Lovato on May 17th, and the signature Southern Country Rock of Eric Church on July 19th.

Tickets on sale now at Yamavat Theater.com, only at Yamava Resort and Casino, celebrating its 40th anniversary. You in? Must be 21 to enter. is freezing. It's like, hmm? Well, it's not. Yeah. But okay.

I go, oh, I'm like, so sorry. Like, I just brewed a fresh pot. She goes, no, it's ice cold. Takes her entire fist and shoves it into the cup of coffee. She pulls it out third degree burns. See? She goes, see, want to tell me what the fuck that is? I go, I don't know what to do.

I kind of just went on. Yeah. You're kind of like, you didn't have to do all that. I was going to change it regardless. Also, because I know it's fresh coffee. So you're fucking insane. She has like a tear running down her face because she's like, it's so hot. She's like, see, freezing.

See that? Freezer burn. Yeah. See, that's freezer burn. Yeah. And I go, uh, okay, I'll make you another one. I bring it to the table. She's like, oh my God, thank you so much.

Like she didn't just shove her hands and a fucking pot of it. Like, she goes, oh. She's like, you're the sweetest, by the way. She goes, I love this place. But her hand still third degree burns. Looks like Harvey Dent. It's like love. That one I would say is the craziest one because I would never.

I'm the type of person that's like, oh, my order's wrong. I'll just eat it. Me too. I'll just take it. Yeah, me too. Unless it's someone else's and they're like, I really can't eat that. Then I'll say something. But I'm very nice about it.

I'm like, hey, I'm sorry. Can you please? That reminds me. I went to the, I flew to New York recently. And we were at, I think we flew JetBlue. So we were like standing at the desk and she's like, okay, put the, it's like me, my fiance, um, Carrie and my sister. And so like we're all standing there and we're like, okay, like talk, kind of chatting.

And she goes, okay, put the first bag up. And so it was mine, right? Because I was first. So she puts it up. She goes, three pounds over. You might have to change it. And I go. And then I was thinking in my head.

I'm like, well, if you're a flying business, you have more pounds, right? Yeah. And it was like barely over 50. It was like 51, 52. something like that. And so she was going, yeah, otherwise I got to charge you $200. And then I was like, it's fine. Because at that point, I was like, we're running behind. I'm not going to sit here and rearrange shit. Like, it's fine. Yeah. And then Carrie was like, well, no, because we're, um, I don't think it should be up to 75 pounds, right? And she goes, that's business. And then I go,

I, I am business. Like, I'm flying, we're all flying business. And then she goes, nope, just to my face. Like I was like, and like, and I'll be real like, she cucked me a little because I was like, Like I was just gonna pay the 200. Yeah, I was like, yeah, and then I start feeling gaslit. Like I'm like, wait, maybe I'm not. And then Carrie was literally, it's funny because Carrie is so sweet and kind, unlike me.

And she was like, no, no, like that's not true. Like she was like looking up on the website and she's like, that's not true. We're all business. She's like showing it to her. And then the lady goes, okay, so business. 10 seconds has passed since she asked me, right? And then Carrie goes, yeah,

she goes, all right, tags the bag, takes it off. And then I go, yeah, that's what I just said. I said I was business. And then she looks to me and she goes, and I for real thought like, girl, do I know you? Like I was like, I'm like, are you mad at me? And I really like, she got my ass because I, I, for real was like, I just, nope. It's crazy. To my face.

Nope. Yeah. Nope. I actually burned the plane. You won't be flying. That's why she kind of got my ass. She said that I said, oh, all. right oh no my bad my fucking bad so business where have you been she's like oh all right

tags it and that's why when i said no that's what i just said she was like she's like no you didn't almost like she was like you always do this the last time you were here you try to pull some every fucking time you come in here you try to pull some shit on me i never fly jeff i'm flying this oh are you yeah that's like she's like Are you? No, you're not. You're flying. First class on a private plane.

I know I won the grand prize. Yeah. She's a big check. So you said you majored in theater. Yeah. What was your specialty? Did you have like a fave? Did you like comedy drama?

Ooh, I loved doing, um, honestly drama is my favorite to do. Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I, I mean, I am a dramatic person. I'm not a very late. Yeah, I don't know. I guess, yeah, drama was my favorite. favorite to do comedy is my favorite to write though oh yeah okay i like doing my own comedy but i like

reading other people do you do any stand-up or anything i have a ton a ton is crazy i've done it maybe five times yeah more than me but you should you should i've done it i've done it a couple times i've been like eh but i do like it i enjoy it and i think it's really fun it's hard yeah it's fucking so hard it's it's insane i did like a class because i was like i can't just get up there and do it so i took a stand-up class. And how was that? It was well, I think it was five people. I was the youngest person there. Oh, nice. My favorite person was like a 65 year old woman who was like a professor. She's like, I'm just doing this so I can talk in my lectures. Oh, that's sweet. Loved her. Yeah. And then one guy was named Dave. That's all I remember about. Yeah. Not very memorable, clearly. Very. Um,

But yeah, we did our little showcase, which was cute. And then I didn't open mic after that. And I was like, maybe I should never do this again. Really? Because everyone there was 35 to 45-year-old men. And I was like, you hate what I'm saying. I lost the room already. I got up there and they were like, boo.

They said, nope. When you go up there as you're approaching the stage? And I said, no. But I've done it a few times. and it is really fun, but it is a ton of fucking work. Yeah, it's hard. I've only, I've only, like, actually done it for real twice.

So, like, how long were you up there for? I did five, a five, and then a 20. 20. Yeah, so I went from five to 20, no practice in between. I was like, shit. Good thing I could just talk up there. But there was, like, another, I think when I did, I was like, I had the opportunity to do more,

but I was just kind of like, I need to do this. it's one of those things where maybe this is me being a Virgo, but I was like, I need to practice a ton and I don't have time to practice a ton. And like, I am not the type of bitch that's like, yeah, fuck it. I need to be prepared before I go up there. Like, to some degree, I need to be prepared. Fully. Before the showcase, people were like trying to like joke and laugh.

I'm like, I need space. Shut up. So fucking zip it. I have to lock in right now. Even with like when I did theater and stuff, I, before a show, or I'd be like, no one talk to me. I would just sit in a corner and like run my lines like a crazy person like shaking. I felt like that too. I can't. I know and I find it like such an inhumane skill to memorize an entire hour. It was like the memorizing part was the hardest part for me because once you get up there,

I feel like I start thinking about a lot of other things. And I even said when I did my next one, I think it went better and flowed better because I wasn't so beholden to memorizing every single line. It was just like memorizing general theme and then going from there because I need more space to run. I feel like. No, I'm the same. I feel like when I'm like I can't have coffee or anything.

I have to just be like almost like half asleep and get up there. I'm like I'm so beyond relaxed that like I don't have time. That's too. Or the space to think. Yeah. That I could fuck up for real. Because then I will. Yeah.

Like I just did a like a character showcase at UCB. Oh my gosh. How fun. It was so fun. I was really fucking nervous for that one because I don't do like characters. Yeah. But it was a good-ass time. And I was like, I'm just, who gives a shit? Yeah. And like, my friends are there. My boyfriend's there. Like, who cares? Yeah, I got to have fun. I think that's like, that was probably the thing that took the most pressure off me the second time I did it too. I was like, I just got to have a

good time. Yeah. And also, like, I know I'm good at like crowd work. I know I can nail crowdwork pretty easy. But I don't want to be one of the, like, I didn't want to be a stand-up that only does crowdwork. Because then it's like you're not a stand-up. Like at that point, I'm just roasting people from the stage. You're just gabbing. Yeah, I'm just, I'm just catching up over, like, brunch with the girls. Like, at that point, that's what I'm doing. Um, but I didn't want to be that guy. So I was like, yeah, I've seen, I've seen that. Yeah, we all know. We know who we're talking about. And they have bad veneers and it's okay. That's, that's a big, fake old jaw. Love that. I need one of those, honestly. How's your, a new jaw? How's your, uh, journey on TikTok been?

Really good really crazy I was posting kind of just for friends And then I started doing lives not real lives Yeah I would go to Olive Garden I would pick up dinner and eat it in my car And then I would go live for four people Right And they're the best I have a little group chat with them right now too

They're like we're so happy for you Oh that's so sweet They're the sweetest people in the world but yeah my little internet friends But then it just like started happening more and more and like more people were seeing it and I anytime I will see a video of mine from like two weeks ago I'm like I this is awful I feel that you can't watch them yeah I hate my older older ones too like yeah at least it at least your your catalog I think your catalog is fantastic thank you so mine goes back so far that like I feel like some of those early ones if I could scroll that far back

I would delete them all I just can't absolutely and I posted every day for three years straight so like good luck catching it. At that point, I'll never catch up at that point. Remember when you said, I don't. Yeah, I really don't. And don't remind me. I don't want to know that I'm not that bitch anymore, whoever she was. But even at that point, too, I've said like my voice sounds very different in those. And it's because I went to school for journalism. So like broadcasts. Right. So they made me, well, made me. They told me I needed to raise the tenor of my voice. Like, sure. Speak in a higher tone because my voice is an octave, I guess, too manly for God forbid. For broadcast television. So she told me you should try speaking higher because it's more appealing.

You have to talk to transatlantic accent. And like Judy Garland. No, fucking for real. And I think that's why my early ones, I hate watching them because my voice sounds like Mickey Mouse compared to how it sounds now. And like honestly,

when some people go back and look at them and they're like, oh my God, I can't believe how young you look here. When I click on it, if I hate it, I delete it. Or I hide it. Absolutely.

I'm like, sometimes I'm like, yeah, go back and like them so I can find them. Absolutely. Oh my God, you look so young here. I'm going to delete that. And I'm going to block you actually. Yeah, no. Yeah, there's no way you're not catching me. No way. Do you have any like dreams or aspirations with TikTok? Ooh. I don't. Or even acting. I really don't know. I mean, acting for sure. I, because I have been acting since like eighth grade, something stupid. Like really, really young. Yeah. What's like a dream role for you? Oh. Let's do TV and movie. Ooh. Ooh. TV. Hmm.

I want to host Love is Blind. No, I'm kidding. For TV, I want to... We should host it together in these costumes. Unexplained. Sight unseen. Don't judge what she can't see. That's me.

This is called Love is Blind, is it not? Wait, but you said you like me. Lesson. For TV, I don't know. Okay, this is awful. I don't watch... I don't watch stuff. Me either.

I don't. I mean, I just watch. the series with my boyfriend. There's six episodes called The Girlfriend. Okay. It's really good. It's about British people and a couple of Americans. Okay. T. Um, and there's like a girlfriend and a son and a mom and the mom kind of loves the son and like a weird way and he's the girlfriend and it's a big like, who done it. Oh wait. I saw that. I saw the trailer for that on TikTok. It's crazy. Okay. We just finished it. It was so fucking good. Okay. But that's like the only TV show I've watched in a thousand century. You're so like me. Same. I don't watch anything new.

ever. Like when people were like, have you watched this? I'm like, nah. But I'll watch it like three years later. I'm the same fucking way. I literally, I've never seen what the hell is it called? The most famous television show, Game of Thrones. I've never seen it.

Oh, you've never seen Game of Thrones? I have watched that. But I watched it back in the day. And we used to watch pirated versions because I couldn't afford HBO at the time. But one of my, but I was way behind like everybody else. Like one of my girlfriends from college was like, you have to watch it. Dude, it's so good. And I was like, really?

And then eventually I did. Yeah. But I'm a big repeat. Pete Watcher. Like, I watch the same stuff. I'm the same. But mine is, okay, this is insane. I, there is one Twitch streamer I watch. Okay. I don't watch him live. I watch the videos he uploads afterwards. There are four hours and I will watch them over again. Which streamer is it? His name is Half Moon Joe. Okay. I've been watching him since I was in like, probably eighth grade. Really? What does he do? He used to make YouTube videos. He's like,

this gay man who lives in D.C. with his husband and their little dog piggy. I know everything about him. Hey. He used to make YouTube videos about all kinds of stuff. And now he just streams like old Nancy Drew PC games. Like all. And he's terrible at them. But that's why it's so fucking funny.

Also, he's from Arkansas. So he has like a thick southern accent. See? Ugh. It's just so funny. So randomly specific. Fully. Anytime I'm having a bad day, I watch.

He has, um, oh, not Wizards of Waverly. plays. Who knows what the hell it's called. He watches Wizards of Waverly plays. Right, right, right. And he'll play like the Brats games, like all the old Barbie games. And I watch that over and over again. That's just what you'd be watching. I've never seen Game of Thrones. But let me tell you about Half Moon Joe. But I could. Yeah, I could quote a four hour video to you. There's, there's this lady I've been watched. Do you have like niche people like that on TikTok? Yeah. Me too. There's this lady I've been watching recently. I don't even remember her name. but it's this white girl and she's like a teacher but that's not her content her content is like

she eats this thing called a plowman's lunch does it sound British it is and she it when I tell you it's the most off-putting sharkoutery I've ever seen in my life and this bitch eats it in a classroom and I'll tell you what I'm locked in two and a half minutes I'm watching her eat that whole fucking thing and it's like it's like bread two different kinds of cheeses like just the stinkiest food alive, really, but like she'll have pickled onions, pickled beets, these thing called branny pee. Fuck if I know what that is. Like when she was describing it, she's like vinegar molasses almost.

And then there's like another thing called picolilly. Fuck. What the fuck are they doing over there? When I talk shit on British food, dude, the cut down, like Laura, my friend Laura, Laura, she's the best. She does socials for the show. She posted one about me and Robbie Hoffman talking shit on British food. You should have seen those comments.

comments girl oh my god they want me dead they want to put me in a guillotine that's france who gives a fuck fully they every time i say your food sucks they're like yeah well kids die in schools where you're at absolutely they're like sorry we'll put beans on toast and tree sap and i eat i watch what they eat and i'm like it's oh my god i made a video a thousand years ago not about food but being like when you tell the time like tell me what the time is don't be like oh a quarter past blah blah blah all of these british people are like heat it's time to refresh your yard during spring backyard days at the Home Depot. Get low prices guaranteed on propane grills starting at $179, like the next grill three-burner

gas grill, or get $50 off to select Weber Spirit Grill and bring big flavor to your backyard. Then set the scene with Hampton Bay string lights that bring it all together. Shop spring backyard days for seven days at the Home Depot. Now through May 6th, Exclusion supplies to home depot.com slash price match for details. I just want to know if it's 702 or not. Yeah, they're like, a quarter pout, a quarter till this. Yeah, hey, shut up and tell me the real time. Yeah, the moss grows on the north side of the tree.

I'm like, tell me the dye. Yeah, make me read a sundial. Why don't you? So I watch this plowman's lunch lady. She eats that. She eats crazy British food. Like, she's never been to the UK. She doesn't know any British people, really.

She just, like, is obsessed with their food. So she eats this plowman's lunch when I tell you every fucking day. And every video, I'm like, here she goes again. And I watch the whole thing. And also something that's fascinating to me about her because she'll just combine all of it. She'll put like that vinegar molasses shit on it. She'll put cheese on there and a pickled onion and then she'll eat it. And I'm like, what's crazy about her is like she'll take the biggest bites I've ever seen in my life.

Like when I tell you unhinge her draw, like she literally goes, it's the whole fucking thing in there. And she's like, oh, delicious, delicious. And it looks like the most disgusting food in the world. And I just can't stop watching her. Every time I see her, I'm like, oh, my gosh. God, my show's on. Time for my cardboarding goo. I know, like, my vinegar cardboard.

I'm so excited. Do you have any niche people on there that you're watching? Oh, my God, yeah. Don't know his name. Don't know what he stands for, but he, he, oh, my God, I'm going to try to imitate his voice. I've never done this. Oh, my God. This is big.

You got a dog's like this and everything. So that's his voice. Okay. And he has created a map for a world. that he has called 3,000 Queen Mary Ocean City. Right, okay. Who knows what that means?

But he's made a map and he was like, oh, we're going to open like an M&M store in 3,000 Ocean Mary City. This place doesn't exist. He makes a thousand videos. He's like making business plans. A day. He shows the blueprints.

It looks like nothing. He's just showing you brick and order. Like brick and mortar businesses in his fake city? Absolutely. And I eat it up. Every time I hear, I'll like, just be scrolling, not even looking. I hear, I'm like, I'm in. Your Pavlov.

What's the newest addition to the city? Who is coming to the city next? I love it. He's like, yeah, we're opening up a Reese's Peece's world. I'm like, what the fuck? They're all candy stores. It's like a little kid if they made a city. Yes, fully.

He's like, has to be like 37 years old. I eat it up every time. Like my, my fiancee loved like, the Costco guys, right? Like, he loved them before they got big, like, way before. He would be like, have you seen these guys? And I'm like, I think you know I haven't. Like, just generally, I'm sure you can assume.

And for, I think it was Valentine's Day this year, he, like, just talks about them because he thinks they're the funniest people alive and like the Rizzler, right, with the Costco guys and all that. Like, it's funny because those two kids act like how I think any child would act if they got a lot of money and access at 11. Absolutely. They're not doing anything. remotely serious, like they're going to all their favorite things.

Like, amusement parks, WWE wrestling, like, that's all they're really about, which I respect. And I remember when for Valentine's Day, I got him a cameo from the Costco guys, right? Because they do cameos. And so I bought one. And I literally said, like, can you wish them a happy, like, wish my fiance a happy Valentine's Day and also give him five big booms, right? Because, like, there's a meme of him. when he's like, sorry, your brother died, here's five big booms. Boom, right? That's his favorite, like, video ever.

That's amazing. And so I was like, can you also give him five big booms? And so then I didn't get the cameo till like a week after Valentine's Day. They, like, forgot about me. And I was like, damn, that sucks. Good thing I had other gifts. Otherwise, what would I have done? I was holding out.

Right. And then they did eventually send it to me. And they were like, so sorry, we're late. We just want to wish you a happy Valentine's Day. Drew loves you so much. They really improvved a ton in it. But they said, he loves you like a brother. Like, he loves you so much.

You guys, he loves like literally misgendering me constantly throughout it, which I did not put my pronouns. So that is on me. But I just thought it was funny because I was like, well, at least we know they're, they don't care about gay couples because they were being very, very emphatic throughout the entire thing. And then they didn't give five big booms. They only gave one big boom.

So, wow. Okay. If you fucked up in multiple ways. Right. So if you're going to buy a cameo from the Costco guys, keep that. in mind. That's just what I would say. You're going to get it a week late. They're going to misgender you. Yeah. They will misgender you in your cameo. Absolutely. But they said love is love. Yeah. Yeah. They played that Macklemore song for me in the background. That would have been so

great. But anyhow, yeah, I think like for niche people on TikTok, another one I've talked about, Dr. Parkinson's. Are you familiar with him? I didn't realize I could go in through this way and fix my hair. This is major. You're unlocking something. Sorry, hold on. I got something going on. I got something going on your arm's been out the whole time and you're like there's a hole right here sorry what did you say I said are you familiar with dr. Parkinsonstein on TikTok love him he's also someone who is obsessed with like the early 1900s so everything he wears drives how he cooks his food his entire apartment looks like it's in the 1920s and I and I remember someone in the comments was like how old is like too recent for you and he said anything after

1936. Absolutely. I said he's so real. So I watch him. He'll do four minute videos of him doing, what is that dance? It's like when they're swinging their legs like crazy. The Charleston. He'll just, he'll be like, this is me doing the Charleston.

And then he'll put on his record player. And he's dressed like from the 1920s. And then he's just doing that. And all you hear is him breathing and kicking for four minutes. And guess who watches all four minutes for me? I'm watching. I'm giving it a like. I'm reposting it.

You know what I mean? The world needs to see that guy. I love him. Swinging his leg. Yeah, he's just swinging his leg. And he's good at it. I mean, I'd like to assume I don't know many people who do the Charleston. I mean, my, my opinion probably means nothing.

But I think he's great. You're like, this is so good. You really kill the Charleston. He's like, who's my worst one yet? I don't know anything. You literally don't know anything. You're not even from the 1920s. And he also randomly makes videos where he is building like a generator of some kind from

scratch. Right. And he has video proof of him coming up. the idea of Tesla before Elon Musk bought it. And I was like, this guy's onto something. I'm going to follow him into war, honestly, at this point. Like, he knows something the rest of us don't. And I'm staying close by the fire.

You know what I mean? The uniform you're in a flapper dress. I know. If that's what it takes, that's what it takes. I'm sorry. But I watch him cook things on his old-timey stove. And I watch him ride his old-timey bike, like the one with this huge front wheel and the little back wheel.

That is my fucking dream. I'm going to show you him after we get off. He's fantastic. I'm sorry, I'm late. He's like, I'm going to show you guys how I ride my penny bike. And then he sets up his thing. And then he's like, it's a little hard to get on. And he has no cuts, no edits.

And then he also has like end cards on his videos where it's a picture of him in black and white. So it looks like it was taken in 1900. And it says Finn at the top. Like he died. Yeah, at the end of every single TikTok, he puts that in there. I love that guy. I have, no, I need to know who this is. I follow them all.

It's funny. I have so many people like that. I follow them and they don't follow me and they don't give a fuck about me. I love. But I follow them and I'm like they have no idea how big of a fan I am. They have no idea. You guys have no clue. Well, they're like, we don't like your content.

They're like, not really my kind of thing. Not my thing, but thank you. Yeah, but I appreciate you. I do have some fun facts about you though. Facts about it? Yes, some fun facts. Oh, God. If you like to get into them.

I'd love to know. Okay, this first one says you were a theater major in college and you start as Juliet and a punk rock version of Romeo and Juliet. and you were a semi-finalist in the National Shakespeare Competition. Absolutely, I was. What if I killed myself right now? Okay, team is Shakespeare. Yeah.

What did you do for your competition? So, yeah, I guess it was a national competition. And we had to do a monologue and a sonnet. And I did a Juliet monologue and a sonnet about dying. Love. Were they both from Romeo and Juliet? No, just the monologue was. Okay.

And yeah, you had to like memorize them and then do it at your school. If you won the one at your school, you do it at state level. If you do it at state level, you go to national. And you were a semi-finalist. And I went to semi-finalists. Yeah. Didn't make it all the way, though. But you still made it further than a lot of other people.

So true. Also, Shakespeare's hard as fuck, bitch. I love Romeo and Juliet. Yeah. Which is like probably the cheesiest thing about me, but I love Romeo and Julia. No, but you love it for real. I do. Not like the Leonardo DiCaprio version or whatever the fuck.

Was it Leonardo DiCaprio? Yeah. Okay, I couldn't remember. Yeah, yeah. Me forgetting. Who the hell was that? My favorite Shakespeare play was the one about Serenot. Oh.

Cerino? Is it just called Cirno? Cirno. Yeah. I couldn't remember the name. I don't know all of them. That's one of my favorite ones. That's the one where he's like really ugly and he writes the things for his buddy.

Yeah, yeah. Who sings to her and he's like stands in the bushes. Aw. Love that one. That's a great one. Happened to me. You should go to Shakespearean Theater in London. I want you so bad when I you yeah that's tea I wanted to really really bad I think that's so

when I was in New York though and I was doing the competition all of us were like okay like what monologue you're doing what sonnet blah blah this guy was like oh what monologue are you doing it's like oh I'm doing a juliet monologue he goes kind of basic for the competition right right so he's trying to he's trying to get in your head yeah I was like competition what is this he's trying to psych you out it's like ice princess absolutely you know when she comes in she's like Nice skate. Yeah. The goth girls.

That was a goth girl doing it to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He bullied me. I was like, okay. And what? Yeah.

Maybe if you did it, it would be basic. Well, maybe you did it. You would suck. Yeah. We're a USMI finalist. Exactly. We'll see at the end of this. Yeah, absolutely.

We'll see who makes that. What an asshole thing to say. Well, clearly, clearly you nailed it. Thank you so much. And, uh, this next one. says that you co-starred in a queer comedy web series called 20 that got nominated for a streamy award absolutely oh my god how exciting how was that right right no cool cool that you have that i'm so glad you found that i'm really and i like that we're talking about it no it was really fun

i was so young i guess i yeah i was in college probably like 20 21 um i did a terrible play with this one girl we became really good friends and she wrote this like like queer comedy web series. And I was the youngest person. And I was just so young. And my character is like a bitchy, who knows what they were. But just like bitchy investment banker. Right.

Right. I was really, I looked the part. Nailed it. I nailed it. Yeah, very crazy. And nominated for a streamy. Yeah, we went to Palm Springs for a thingy. Who knows?

For the streamies? No. Some like festivals or whatever. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah. Okay, too. I also have lost a streamie. So we're twins in that.

I was also nominated and lost, yes. And I don't even remember who I lost to either. I don't remember. Was it just like a creator award? Yeah, it was like for a streamie and it was like, you know, that's like, they're trying to make a thing for content creators, which I was like, we don't need those. Absolutely. Hey.

Hey, we don't need those. What was the Tyler Oakley thing? Laughing face. Do you remember his speech? I don't remember his speech. I remember Tyler Oakley. I was so into Tyler Oakley at the time. He was popping.

When he gave a speech. I remember Noah Centeno's. Oh, my God. That one he said about, what was it again? Dase, do you remember that one? The one that Noah made? He's like, when you think. Yeah, it was like, when you think or you imagine what could you?

Like, you said something. For others and others. And also for yourself. Or Justin Bieber's when he said, I'd also like to thank God. God and Jesus. Also Jesus. Real. I say that all the time to this day.

Oh my God. I'd love to thank God. And it's just a bad. And I guess Jesus. Jesus. I guess. It's about what you have and what you do with what you have. That's what it is.

Absolutely. And you all laugh at that. But he was onto something. Honestly, he was. And the funniest quote from now since now is, of course, his least Snapchat's when he said, are you going to show me how to squirt or not? Absolutely. Well.

That you squirt. not how to squirt, that'd be so funny. Yeah, he's like, wait. So he's like, real shit. He's like, girl, can you show me how? Deva, I'm curious. That's what I, I remember quotes like that, that I find funny, that I know they don't find funny at this point in time.

Yeah. And like my favorite one recently, well, lately, I would say in the fact that I've been repeating it a bunch, which is the Sydney-Sweeney one where she's like, guys, it's my mom's birthday when her mom was photographed in a Trump hat. And then they're like, hey, what the fuck is this? Are you MAGA? And then she goes, guys, it's my mom's birthday. She said, guys, it's Bob. It's my mom's birthday. You know that. Like, you know, it's crazy. We have to college together. Really? Yeah. T. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm reading between the lines without

you saying them. Thank you so much. Yeah. I got it. I'm picking it up. Yep. which is guys it's my mom's birthday hey guys and when I think about it jeans are passed down from parents to offspring they are literally and figuratively and she was and she was right when she's yeah guys it's my mom's birthday okay and I couldn't believe I missed that I missed that slam dunk for my birthday caption on Instagram I know guys it's my 30th birthday I should have put that absolutely another one you can guess who said it people are going to die. Oh my God. Yeah, people are going to die.

But I guess it's inevitable. hilarious. I'm going to laugh because it's about Coachella. Absolutely. And people are dying. And it's like, and you're telling me that I can't have my nips out in Palm Desert? Okay. What kind of country are we coming to at this point?

I can't dance in something offensive in the desert? Right. God forbid. God forbid. People die in the fucking desert. And you know what? I'm the type of bitch that's going to keep those quotes alive. Thank you.

I'm going to keep them alive no matter how far they go. Like, no matter how far down they go. I also know I have so many that I can't think of right now, but they just come out all the time. Like when I say, well, yes. Like, absolutely that one. There's a million of them. Yeah.

That's what I love, like, guys, it's my mom's birthday. No, fully. And it's even better when no one understands the reference. Yeah. Okay, I have some more fun facts. This makes me want to die. It says, you once lived with a man who boiled his work pants in the one pot that they shared. Right.

And what the hell is that? So I lived with a man. Hey, so what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. And what do you have to say about that, huh? So I have right here that a man boiled his pantaloons. And they were pantaloons. So.

Very literally speaking. Very. So I lived with this guy for like a month, maybe a month and a half or something. He, I don't know where he was moving from, but he didn't bring anything with him. And I was like, hey, you can use my pots and pans and silverware and stuff. Like, that's fine. I have one pot. I live alone.

Why do I need two? Yeah. I would come home from work. He did not have a job. I would come home from work on the stove when I would want to make something. It would be boiling water and like linens. And I was like, what is this? He would pull them out.

and they were pantaloons. And I was like, hey, so, I'm so hungry. And I'm the only one who has a job. So I need the pot. And he was like, well, I can't because I'm boiling my pantaloons. This is a Bose moment. You've been there before. Somebody's apartment, small talk that's going nowhere, plastic cup that's almost empty.

It's not great. Then someone hits play on a Bose speaker. Heads nod, feet. Tap one person dances than everyone does. Awkward becomes electric. When Bose sound fills the room, you don't just hear the music. You feel it. Your life deserves music.

Your music deserves Bose. Find your perfect product at Bose.com. No, I see that. No, and I came home and saw. Yes, I noticed. I've seen that, yes. It was so bizarre. And he also didn't wash his clothes, but he got a big bucket and would put water in it and clean it on our patio.

Is this man from the 17th century? Very ancient prehistoric man. I was going to say, like, his pantaloon, did he elaborate on what? No, he was always kind of wearing, like, garments. Like a man who loves a blouse? Yeah, it was, oh my God, and he was doing the Charleston. Now that I think about it. I'm like, wait, I do know that.

I have been blocked. No, it was absolutely insane. I would be like, okay, I'm so hungry. I just want to make, like, chef, boy, or do you? like beef ravioli right and i can't i can't make my annie's mac and cheese because someone's bloomers are in my pot fully it was awful awful awful awful um he was so loud so messy and i get like i'm a clean person like i'm an organized clean person but i understand like homes are to be lived in right so if there's stuff around like that's fine always shit everywhere just disgusting i was like hey dog yeah

you got to stop that especially the pants thing the pants thing was crazy the mess is one thing The pants thing is another. And then he moved. He was like, hey, I'm going to go to New York. I was like, aw. No, wait. I'm going to miss you. Who's going to soil my dishes?

Wait. In your absence, how am I going to ruin all the things I own? Shit. I'm going to miss you. You meant a lot to me. I haven't had too many terrible roommates. I had one roommate in college that wasn't the best, but she wasn't the worst either. She did do one weird thing, though, where, like, one time she asked me if she could have some of

alcohol and I was like out because I'm very like yeah no like help yourself like I don't care and I had a 30 rack and two handle two handles and a bottle wine when I came back all of it gone and I said I'm sorry because she was probably maybe 110 pounds like she was the tiniest little woman that's ever lived I was like did you drink all of that? could borrow a sip yeah she was like oh and then the way she would answer questions like that was always so strange like she was like yeah it's like crazy because like i just had like a crazy night but i was just like in here by myself i get you drank all of that by yourself and she goes yeah sometimes i do that okay right do you have anyone to talk to so before i freak out

are you okay yeah absolutely and second of all i was like well you're gonna replace it right because i'm fucking broke and my parents left that with me when they left like they came with me to hawai to drop me off Right. And then left. And so they left all the alcohol with me. And I was like, okay, well, you're going to replace her. Right. She goes, I mean, yeah, I can if you need me to. Um, yeah, bitch. All of that alcohol that could feed a small army. Yeah, like, yeah, like, yeah, I'd like you to replace the shit. Are you nuts? Like, I'm so thirsty. Yeah. And I'm not even kidding. Like, I had to pick the day that we went back to the store. Because she kept pushing it off and was like, oh, I'll get another time. I'll get another time. And I was like, I'm going to the store today. You want to come with me. We can replace that stuff you drank. Yeah, yeah. And she was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. And I go, okay, perfect. I'll wait for you in the room. I'm here now. And then I literally, I'm not even kidding. I felt like I was holding her at gunpoint like to get her to the store. I literally, we took the bus together, sat on the bus, walked into the Walmart. And then I was like, took her to the alcohol aisle. I literally was like escorting her to go by it because she would not do it on her own. And when I went, she was trying to give me some cheap ass vodka. I said, better put that down and pick that other bottle up because that's the one you drink. Absolutely. Me not caring though. When I'm when I'm 20 drinking underage, don't do it. it do as I say not as I don't do that yeah don't do that I've never done that but when I was doing that you know it's like I'll drink piss out of a bottle I don't care but I was like top shelf only only because she pissed me off I like gray goose I was like I'm a spedca girl so need you to get in on that yeah she said here's burnettes here's like warm burnettes oh yeah don't bring me don't you bring

me another Amsterdam bottle I swear to God but have you had a lot of crazy roommates um honestly no my college my last college my last college roommate we just left on bad terms um which is the very diplomatic way of saying that um hope you're well um but no just the pantaloons guy um oh my god okay well the guy that tried to kill me oh yeah that's right so the roommate that i had for the longest her name was alley she was so great we lived in north hollywood um and she was moving stuff over and he sees her outside and goes up to her and says, I have a key to your apartment. She was like, tea.

As far as I know, only one woman lives in there. Absolutely. Yeah. And she's like, okay, great, I'm going to change the locks. So she changes the locks. Every night for probably three months, he was like screaming around the building, just like saying nothing, nonsense.

Right. Would take Sharpies and draw on the walls of the hallway. Like, fuck the people who live here. Fuck the girls who live in this apartment. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was just you to? It was just us too. Why?

Hated our guts. For any particular reason? No, I had never even seen him at that point. So, he was just, something was unwell. Yeah. But he would be like, he would draw guns and skulls and nooses and he's like, I'm going to kill all these people. He's like, slay. Okay.

Not great. Will you give me a heads up or is kind of a surprise thing? No, like, let me know. Well, just let me know so my calendar's free. Absolutely. Yeah. His apartment was like right next to the laundry room, which you had to walk past. to go do laundry and he would talk to other people in the building um and he was like do you know

the girls that live in da-da-da apartment that's even scarier super really really scary yeah they're like yeah we do he's like i'm going to get them right right and it was the middle of covid so no one was like getting evicted and no one was being moved out or blah blah um and then eventually we got a camera of our front door and we would watch the video back in the middle of the night he would come and stand in front of our door and watch on the camera just looking not just staring into it staring into the camera like really scary yeah he like kicked a guy's door in he like tried to break into our apartment a bunch of times um and then eventually i've like stopped being scared and i was like you are so fucking annoying like i listen to you every fucking night say bullshit so i would go down there

he would be like walking around the building and i would go down there and i'd be like can you shut up yeah like please stop he's like i'm gonna get you i'm gonna get you i'm gonna you. I'm like, you haven't. Yeah. You haven't yet. A lot of this. But when I come around, you don't want to post up. Fully. Fully. I'm like, do it, please. I'm waiting. No, for real. At this point, I'd rather you kill me than keep fucking yapping shit. I'm going to kill you. Okay. Right. Have yet to see it. And honestly, those guys a lot of times pray on fear. Like, I just like avoiding them and not, yeah. Completely. And so the weirdest one is, so my roommate and a bunch of the people who live in the building went to the landlord's office and they were like, hey, this guy's really scary.

But we need to get him out. And the landlord looks at my roommate and goes, well, if you're scared, just move out. Love that. Okay, why do I have to move out when this guy's threatening to kill me? Thank you. Right. And then, so they're like, okay, we're going to lock the floor. So he can't get up to your floor or whatever, blah, blah, blah.

In the middle of the night, I hear like metal clanging. I go down there. He's taking a drill to the back door to try to get. into the building. So I'm filming all of this. Yeah. And I open the door and I go, what the fuck are you doing? And he's like, I'm like, yeah, you have a drill. Yeah. And I was, yeah, I can hear it. I can hear the metal drill. Yeah. He's like, I'm going to get you. I'm going to, I'm going to get you. I'm going to kill you, blah, blah. And I was like, do it. You won't. You won't. You won't. You won't. Do it.

And I had never called the police and I called the police. Stupid. Yeah. Because I show them the video. And they go, don't show this to anyone. again. I was like, why? And they go, because it shows that you're not inferior to him, because I stood up for myself. So they're like, so you got it. Yeah, so like, so, hey, you are. So you bothered me for what? That's what? Yeah, fuck the cops. Yeah, no, fully. They were like, you're bold. You've got it. You know what, girl. You don't look down anymore. Your crown is falling. Fully. They said, your spark in your energy is something we've all been talking about. Put your hair in a messy bun and handle it.

Fully. They're girl bossing you. Fully. Get that smoothie. Don't even talk to her before she's had her copy. After Pilates, you got this. I was like, he's going to kill me. And they're like, and what? Yeah.

Yeah, really stupid. You're dumb. You should have edited this part out. Now I know you can stand up for yourself. And it's funny because even if you couldn't, they still wouldn't do shit. No, absolutely. And then I, I don't know if it was before or after. this but I called and I was like can I make a report they're like there's no need

according to who you according to who imagine what is that is that guy is that guy the fucking chief of police the one that's threatening to kill you wait that's my bestie no need no need I already did I think I wrote it down in my head like why you were telling me when I was at your house the other night I wrote it down no like put it on post dead yeah don't worry I sent it through slack it's fine they'll get it's fine I send a slack message so the reports people they're going to take care of it yeah it's totally fine Aw. She passed away.

Aw. Anyway. That's like, first of all, good for fucking you. Thank you. Because at a certain point, you're like, bitch, let's have it out. You and I need to brawl in the street at this point. I'm going to beat the shit out of you. How's that?

Like at this point, I'm sick of it. Absolutely. All this shit talking. I'm over it. Yeah. And trying to like intimidate you. That part was the worst part. That was the craziest.

We had like a hammer next to our door, like just in case. Yeah. Because I don't believe in guns. Yeah. It's matched with Skolin. Right. And then my roommate had like a ladder, like a rope ladder to throw out of the window in case we had to leave. Oh my God.

It was insane. It went on for like so fucking long months. That's insane. Yeah. So not. I'm glad you weren't alone during that time. Me too. So not roommate, but crazy man.

Yeah. Crazy man in my building. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, that's why I said like a lot of times like when you say some shit back, all of a sudden it's like, hello. Well, I didn't really prepare for the second half of the conversation. Yeah.

Wait. I'm standing up for yourself. Wait a second. That's not what girls do. You've changed my mind. I'm like, okay, great. I'm not going to kill you after all. I'm going to erase what I wrote on the walls.

Yeah, imagine he's like, what are he doing later today? No, he's like, they're kind of cute. I'm like, no. Not that I'm really looking at you. His name was Ask Nart. Ask Nart? Asknaut. Is it a government name or is it a nickname, you think?

Who, no. Anyone's guess, honestly. A person running around the building saying they're going to kill you would be named Ask Nart, I think. Heavy on the ass. As fart, maybe. Oh my God. I should have said that.

Fuck! We're like, ass fart. How's that? I'm going to kill you. Okay, ass fart. He says the ass nark. You're all, yeah, that's what I said. Wait, what did you say?

Nothing. You guys ever try to rage bait your bully? Your stalker? You rage bait your stalker. Okay. Okay. As far. I was like, stop.

Wait. I love shit like that. That's why I said, you're not the boss of me. That's the best one. Absolutely. No, why? Because you're not the boss of me. That's why.

When I was in Arizona for work stuff once, we were at like a TikTok event thing that I was hosting and I took like my sister and my man and Alex, like she came with us too. And I remember like in between I was hosting live. So like it was a whole big music thing. So there was a bunch of different. whatever so in between like I would go host and then once the music act started I would come back and sit with them and like one of the last times they came back there was like they put us in

this huge section because it was in a baseball stadium so we were like on this huge open part there was a ton of couches a ton of room to stand and watch and the person performing was nile horn and that's important to remember so we're we're all standing there I come out I'm like getting some food and stuff I'm about to sit down and like my sister and Alex are sitting on the couch and they're both small they're both short so like we're sitting on this couch we've been there for hours because i've been there since it started and there was like a big group of guys there they were like older men in like their 50s i think they were working for like the tech company that like helped do lighting and shit so they got to stand up there there's plenty of space to stand and watch

and they keep standing directly in front of my sister and alex and they're both small so they can't see so they would ask like hey can you guys scoot a little bit to the left it doesn't change the view, the seat, nothing, right? And so, like, they moved once. And then the second time my sister asked again, like, hey, can you guys please move over? Because, again, it's open bar. So, like, people are fucked up at this point. It's towards the end of the night.

And then the second time she asked, it's like this old-ass dude. He turns around and he goes, no. And then he just turns back around. And then I was at the table getting food at the time. And my sister said that she's like, okay, well, I'm going to tell my sister. And then you're going to have to deal with her when she comes back. Yeah. So I came to sit down.

And I was like, why are these guys just standing here? And she was like, I asked him, but he went, no. And I go, all right. So I went up and I like tapped him on the shoulder. And I was like, excuse me. And they tried to ignore me at first. And it was him and like a bunch of other dudes. They're all like old ass white dudes.

All of them, their hair's gray. Yeah. So then he turns around and he looks at me like all disgusted. And I was like, would you guys mind just scooting to the left? Because some people are sitting behind you and they're not very tall so they can't see. I was like, would you guys mind? And then he goes, no. Like to my face.

It's like rude as fuck. And when he said that, I go, why? Yeah. And then when I tell you, we sat in silence for 15 seconds because he had no idea what the fuck to say to me. Why? And then he was like, and I go, hello? Yeah. And I'm like talking louder now.

So I'm like, is there a fucking problem? And then at that point, my man stood up and he was like, what's going on? And I was like, this guy won't fucking move. And now he won't tell me why. I said, why? And then we're both standing there. My man's big as hell too. I'm, I'm six feet, and my man is six, four.

So we're standing there and we're looking at him like, is there a fucking problem? And then the guy was like, um, um, like he's not saying words at all. Like he's just uttering noises. Like he's like, um, um, um, uh. Well, it's crazy that you have to ask me that. He's like, it's crazy that you asked me that question. And then he goes, well, earlier, you, you came up to me and we're like, blah.

that's exactly the verbatim what he said and then my man goes what the fuck does that even mean and then we're just looking at each other and I go again is there an issue yeah can you move yes or no and then they were just looking at me and I go are you what are you a big nile horn fan like what the fuck's wrong with you absolutely directioners and then his friend comes over and goes hey dude just just come over it's not a big deal sorry about that and I was like yeah no I know it's not a big deal go ahead and then they started moving I guess guys appreciate you and then we went sat down. I was like, yeah, they won't get in front of you again. I promise you that. Look how easy that was.

Yeah, but it's like when you press them, they're like, why? Why? Oh. No one's ever asked me that before. And Eric Sedanio was there. And he told, because he was co-hosting with me. And I remember right after that, we went back to host one more time. And he was like, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

And I go, what? He goes, just you and your man standing like that? I would poop my pants. Oh. And I was like, I know. And I was like, it's really, they were really being disrespectful because I'm a girl. And they were just like, well, no. You did go up to him and go raw. So that part's on me.

That's not hate that. I take that. That's on me. That's crazy. Also, not an excuse. Also, you're 150 years old. Like, what is your problem? Like, you're just trying to bully young women for what?

He's like, he's playing slow hands. I have to stand. You don't understand how much this town means to me. Absolutely. I bought this town on iTunes. I sure did. Oh, my time? Okay, last one fact.

It says you have done motion capture performing work for an animated TV series. And it says, photo below. Yeah, that's me. Wait, I know her. Yeah. What was that for? That's so cool. It was for like an animated kid show called Super Giant Robot Brothers.

So cool. And I got to play like an evil alien lady and some of the robots and like a bunch of other like. alien people they love to cast me as like villainous woman you're telling me bitch hey you said and I'm here all the roles I get are like huge bitch in the office that's the byline it's always like a cunt but soft at heart rancid energy you're like everybody hates her but it's a heart of gold it's like shit like yeah they especially when I was younger they're like okay so you're gonna play the bitch is that okay I was like, yeah, sure. But this one was so much fun.

And they were like, hey, like, we also might want you to, like, be the voice. It's like, no way. They didn't pick me. I was going to say, though, I think you would thrive in voice work. I would love to do it. I feel like you would thrive. Whether it's like adult cartoon or for kids, I think you would kill. People say it all the time.

And I'm like, are you going to offer me something? Yeah, you're okay. So let's keep that up. Yeah. Pass that on to your friends. I would love to. I think you would kill in something like that. You have such a distinct.

tone of voice. Thank you. And I can imagine it in an adult cartoon too, like a BoJack Horseman or like Bob's Burgers kind of thing. I would love to. I love that. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming and hang out with me on our first day of spooky season. No, I know. Did you enjoy yourself? I did. Perfect. We look so spooky. In a way, yes, we do. In a horrifying way. In a very off-putting way, I would say. But to close us out, do you have any advice for any aspiring theater kids? that are coming up, maybe utilizing social media, kind of like you have been. Absolutely. Get the tattoos.

Like, oh, my God. They would always be like, don't get tattoos because they're going to have to cover them and you won't be able to do a role. Diva. Long sleeves exist. Right. And makeup exists. Body makeup.

What if you never book? Then you're just going to. And you never got tattoos. You're just going to hold out just in case. Fully. That's a good idea. That's good advice. That's my only one.

Get tattoo. probably that period i love that well thank you so much for coming on the show i fucking love you you're the best i'm rooting for you i can't wait for everyone else to keep watching you and consuming you and then one day seeing i can't wait till you're like in the literal like shakespearean theater in england and then i get to pull up this pick of you looking like this absolutely and then i go can you move i'm going to say never forget your roots that's what i'm gonna i'm gonna tag you in it never forget them thank you Thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show.

Thank you to my amazing guest, Sarah. Where can everybody find you? You can find me on TikTok. I think it's Siracha. It has to be. There's no way it's not. At this point, yes, it has. Saracha.

And then Instagram. Saracha again. And then I have my cute little pod. Saracha sleepover. Period. She's new, but she's cute. Love that. And you're hosting it alone, yes?

Yes. Yeah, I love that. That's how you know you're good, to be honest. When you can talk by yourself for a fucking hour, Oh, and I can. And I do. And dead. Yeah, make sure you all check out Sarah.

She's so fucking funny. And you're just going to keep seeing her everywhere. But memorialize this carrot in your head. That's the most important part. Wait. Don't remember. Oh, yeah, I was doing that earlier to kind of show people. I'm a highlighter, by the way, not a penis.

I don't want to hear it. Don't. I should have picked a different color. Perfect. Thank you all so much for joining in to this episode of the comments section. So don't forget, new episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite platform, Spotify.

Thank you so much to my amazing guest, Sarah. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I'll see you next week. Bye! It's Mushrooms with me, Maddie Matheson. You know what's better than thinking about dinner too hard? Not. Stop that. And just choose mushrooms.

Five minutes. Done. Dinner's that easy and you feel like a genius. It's not magic. It's mushrooms. Stop stressing at mushroom council.com.