The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - HEAVILY LACTOSE INTOLERANT Ft. Amber Wallin

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

In a long-awaited crossing of paths, Amber Wallin joins Drew on the show this week!! Drew and Amber talk how Amber got swept off her feet by Ben writing her letters and poetry, Drew’s first date at the fair, when you get gagged online but it’s clever, lash lifts, things they can’t handle anymore as they get older, cheap shit era, fear of critters, Amber unpacks the lunch Ben made her, and so much more. Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Amber: IG / TikTok For sponsorships/partnerships, email [e-mail]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes I'll get invited to stuff and I'm like, what time does it start? Oh my gosh. That is the crossroad I constantly face when I'm trying to get back in the stand-up comedy. Oh, yeah. Because like, yep, you bet, you bet. 11 p.m. Your slot. You're like, 11 p.m.

I have a toddler. Like, I would be woken up at 4 a.m. to like a sticky hand slap. Talk about something. Mommy, what does a zebra say? Like, that is my morning, every morning. Do you know what a zebra says, Drew? I still don't. No.

I never have an answer to. to that question. Everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your favorite. Everybody knows me who cares about me. On to the guest. Today we have the iconic, the hilarious, the legendary, Amber Wallin. This is an applause track, right?

Yeah, yeah. Hey, Amsterdam. Welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you. I'm proud of myself for being here. Like, seriously, it's like learn how to ride a bike, learn to read, be on Drew. I'm very excited to be here today. Yeah.

I don't have to do anything else the rest of the year. I'm honored. That's so awesome. I'm such a big fan of yours. We've been like, I feel like passing ships. We've been passing each other a minute. Yeah, there's definitely like a evidence web of us almost coming together. Totally.

Vanita. Vanita. Caleb. Yes. We were bound to cross paths eventually. We were. If it didn't happen by this year, I would have to figure out where you live. So I'm glad that you got me off.

Thank God. It didn't have to get violent. You know what I mean? I didn't want to have to do that. I didn't want to have to resort to that. So I'm so glad that you're on the show now. I'm such a huge fan of you and your family, your husband Ben. My friends are fine.

My roommates, they're cool. Yeah, my workers. My employees are really, really great. Yeah. Ben and Wilde say hello. Yeah. I want to tell you, like, the first, I think the first videos I ever saw of you were obviously like poking fun at your husband Ben, which I found hilarious because I...

Thank you. I just think like... You get a joke. Well, that. And also, I think what I'd like... loved most about your content in the beginning, especially was like when I first saw you was how it's very real. Like relationships are, they're funny and they're difficult and they're like, I just felt like your relationship was very real. Oh, absolutely. Not as curated as most couples are on the

internet. Right. I'm just so sick of that. Like, I'm sick of the fairy tales. I'm sick of the top 10 things to bag your man. Let's let's talk about what happens when you bag them, right? You make fun of them. And how annoying they are. Let's talk about that. Listen, if you've never taken care of a man while he's sick, buckle up. You have to make fun of that, right? Because it's a new hell. It's a prison sentence, right? Taking care of a man with a cold.

So you have to make fun of your partner. It's not going to work, if not. Yeah. It's so funny too because, like, obviously you love and respect your partner. But then there's, they just get on your fucking nerves. Seriously, like anybody in a long-term relationship knows, like, you have hard days. And it's like we're not allowed to talk about the hard days amongst other friends or on the internet. So I was like, let's, let's shit on our men.

Let's do it. Let's do it. What do we, wait, we've done everything else. Let's shit on them now. Well, and also, like, they are annoying. They are. And I'm annoying. And he should. And I'm annoying too. Yeah. And the kids annoying. And we annoy her. And the dog hates me. My neighbors hate me. Like, let's make some content out of it. I'm so curious, like, how you got started in the first place. Like, what made you want to start filming and kind of posting it? Yeah. So I was a big, comedy sketch improv girl in Chicago before we lived in Chicago for about 10 years. And honestly, I think this is probably everybody's story. I got laid off from the comedy club at the top of the pandemic.

And I was all getting fired. I'm not fired too. Best thing never happened to me, right? We literally bought a condo in Chicago with my unemployment checks because I don't know if y'all got unemployed during the pandemic, but those checks were fat. I was like, wait, this is triple what I made. You're like, this is literally how much I should have been making. Unemployment is great.

Let me off again. And so I got laid off from the comedy club and then I was like, well, Ben, maybe I can just whatever sketches I was going to possibly write or do on stage. Maybe I can kind of recreate those with funny things we do. Like, I'm the dramatic person. You're playing the straight man trope in the comedy set. So I was like, let's just replay that. And people love that energy.

How did you guys meet? I'm so interested. Oh, we met on Tinder. Really? Yes. Very romantic. I know so many Tinder people. or like Hinge, Tender and Hinge.

Yeah. People meet on dating app. That's crazy. They do. Well, to be fair, this was in like 2014, 2015. So this is when dating apps, the application. Not like, you know, there's always been Christian mingle and e-harmonie and stuff like that. But Tinder was supposed to be America's hookup app.

Yeah, that's true. So I was like, oh, are we hooking up virtually? Hell yeah. So I literally got on, I promise you, I got drunk one night because I'd just been ghosted by this guy. I got drunk and was just swiping. Really? Like anybody. could have got it. You know what I'm saying? And Ben was in that batch. Ben was in that batch of

anybody can fuck around and get it. And so I told him he had he had some sort of like poetry like something on his page. You know how to poets are. I actually hate poetry. But I think it's funny. You're like, oh, you're talking about the wind. Okay. And so he has the poetry on this. I was like, what a loser. Why not? And so I told him, I was like, hey, I'm going to the dog park with my dog. If you want to come, this is where I'll be. That was our first date.

Okay, period. It's going to happen with or without you. And he showed up at the dog park and we talked at the dog beach for like six hours on the beach. So. How fun. One of those all day dates. Yeah, that's how we were like, and he got me. Oh, big time.

Because it turns out I was a fiend for that poetry shit. It turns out you ate your words. I did. I was like, give me that egg girl and po-d this. Okay. Let me tell you something. Yeah, love. So you know how.

on that first date with your man, you're like, okay, this is how he got me. Yeah. And then there's a point where it's like, now this is how he really got you. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. So we have been dating for about a month. And he said to me, hey, I have to spend a couple weeks in New York with my family and I'll be at a cabin where I won't have phone service.

So, you know, this has been a great month, but I got to go spend some time with my family, you know, secluded, whatever. I was like, oh, I get the hit. Like, you can, we can just break up. Like, you don't have to make up this. this like, ominous lie. You're so much. Right, right. Like, what you mean? You won't have phone service for a week.

Like, that's Mayhem. Literally. A whole Mayflower home. So I was like, that's fine. He was like, well, no, I'll just write you letters. And I was like, okay, girl. Like, no, you're not going to write a fucking letters. It's 2015.

And so one day when he was gone on that week trip, I went to my mailbox, maybe like a day or two after that. And it had a couple of letters from him. So he actually sat down, wrote the letter. And even in the letters, there was poetry in the letters. And there were also like, like, oh, this is real. This is kind of like weird, I guess.

Like pieces of grass and flowers from where he was from. And so he would fold that up. And those were in the letters also. Like he was pressing like plants in there. He was like, I want a piece of where I am to be where you are energy. And I was like, pride and prejudice head ass. Right. You're getting mad immediately.

I was like, get on my face. I wanted to rip the letter up because I was like, How can anyone love me that much? Yeah, it's just too sweet. It's almost like overwhelming. It's disgusting and I ate it the fuck up. And we've been happy ever since. That's so real.

You're so me, dude. That's so funny. Even with my boyfriend too, like our very first day ever was the fair, which I felt was so like cornball. Oh, that's heavy notebook energy. Yeah. Yeah. And then we went and I got drunk, obviously, on the date.

Because I was like, I was too nervous to eat before, but then I drink too much. there and then I was like kind of, oh, perfect combo. Just sweaty and drunk. I was like, anyway, it's like me talking. And he bought me this giant bag of kettle corn to like,

he's like, maybe you should like, you know, snack on this. I was all, okay, whatever. And so I remember the fair was cute and everything and I felt like,

the thing with my boyfriend was very intentional. Like he was very like, I want to see you again, which I was not used to at all. Oh, of course that. You know, they're never like, oh, I want to see you when.

Like, we should hang out again, when. I'll let you know. Like that's like, Like, oh, we'll see. You're like, oh, well, it was nice knowing you. Yeah, and I'm like, fuck you.

But he was like, no, I want to see you. Like, what about tomorrow? And I'm like, tomorrow, tomorrow? Like, that intentionality was throwing me off. Like, I was like, okay. Like, when they're urgent to see you too. Yeah. And I remember one time I had told him, he's like, well, what do you during the day?

Like, I'd love to come, like, hang out with you. Like, this was like probably a week or two into dating. And I was like, oh, because at the time, I was really just like a nanny for my brother. Like, my little brother was in football. And he was doing all kinds of stuff. I was just driving him around all the time because I didn't have a job. So you tried to sound busy. Let me check my home pilot.

I was like, God, I have so many appointments tomorrow. Just meet my brother. And so I was like, well, I'd see my brother to like, he was playing like peewee football. And he was like, oh, I want to come. Can I come and like sit with you? And I was like, oh, my, through a pee wee football game? Oh, he loved you. Yeah.

And they're like three hours long. And I was like, well, it's kind of boring. And he's like, I don't care. I just want to be with you. And I was like, knock it off. Hey, knock it off. I will punch you in your throat. Like, what do you mean you want to be with me?

Yeah, and I remember the next. He's like, text me what time it starts? And I was like, okay. So I didn't text him because I thought he was just being nice. So I just didn't, like, I just didn't do anything. I didn't invite him, nothing. And then he texts me like hours after he knew that it had already started. And he was like, hey, I thought you were going to text me like, what time did it start?

Drew. And I didn't text until the next day. And I was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I fell asleep. And then I had to take him to practice and I just completely forgot. Like, I made up some shit. And then he texts me back.

I remember he was like, you didn't forget. you just didn't want me to come. And I was like, that's not true. I did want you to come. I just, I thought maybe you were just saying that because of me over explaining. I mean, we learned in that moment like, oh, he's going to confront issues when they first arise. We love that.

I was like, damn. What am I on trial? Not passive. Oh. He's like, no, I was dead serious. So like tomorrow it starts at 12. Okay, I'll be your house. And he was at my house like 45 minutes early.

And I was like, girl. Okay. All right. Is he on time? Oh, no. No. I'm always late. So I've made him.

super late, but like he was never late before he started dating me. He was always so early. We're always almost about to miss a flight because of Ben, which is crazy because there's no prep time. There's no, what are you prepping to put, which socks am I going to wear with these sandals? Like, what are you prepping? Why is he so late? He'll sit in the bed and read and he'll, he loves being like, I got wrapped up in this

thought. I'm just like, well, why you wrapped up in thoughts? He missed our goddamn flight. Like, he's like that person. Well, those thoughts cost me. a lot of money. Like if he could be like a philosopher, he would. He's like, he sounds like he is. Right. He's like, I wish I just had more time to sit and think about things. You know, I'm like. No, actually, I can't relate to that, not even a little bit. Right. And I'm like

holding our toddler who just puked. I was like, why don't you think about getting a rag between this shit up off my shoulder? Like, come on. Put your mind to that. Put your mind to that. So 45 minutes early is wild. Crazy. Isn't that crazy? I was like, like, that almost makes me think he slept outside your house. Why are you 45 minutes early? Do he have coffee in tow or something? He's so obsessed with me. I mean, I get it.

I remember the first time, like, I went away and we were dating. It was probably like a month into dating. And I had to go away. I went to Vegas with my family for like a week. And so I didn't see him for a week, but he texted me while I was gone. And then he was like, hey, what day do you get back? Like, my, you know, I'm having a party at my house. Like, you should come and meet my family and stuff.

I was like, okay. Meet the family. Yeah. How far in were y'all at this point? Like a month. Yeah. Like, some change.

I was like, oh, yeah, sure. And so he was like, if you get back, like, please tell me. And so I got back in time. And so I drove to his house. And I remember this was my first time ever going to his parents, like, new house. And I had met his parents briefly because we went to high school together. Oh, he won't show off the house. Yeah.

But I didn't know. I see the strategy. Yeah. I didn't like, I hadn't met them in forever. I hadn't seen his brother in forever. So like, this was my first time meeting them as like dating him. And so I remember I pulled up and I had to park kind of far down the street because there were so many people at the house.

And he saw my car from far away and he ran down the street to my car. And he like opened my door for me. And then he like, he kissed me and he was like, I really missed you. That was the first thing he said to me. And I was like, fuck. Fuck. I was like, I love. Fuck.

Damn it. Let me get back in this car and put it in reverse and hit you with the car. Because there's no way you're real. Yeah, there's no way. I was so overwhelmed. I was like, oh. And he was like, yeah, come on. I want to introduce you.

He wanted to show you that house. Yeah. How was that house? It was nice. Oh, yeah. Nice, nice house. Look, we got some good crown molding up here. I was like, I want to be a part of this family.

This is white people's shit. Uh-huh. Look at these floors. Oh, I love that. It was the beginning at the end for me. At that point, I was like, oh, damn it. And a little piece of me died that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Gritch's heart. Group two guys. I'm so curious to like how has been, been with all the content and like all the attention that you guys get now as a couple. I've created a monster, Drew. I don't know what to tell you. One day you give the man a speaking role and the next day he's a guest star

than a co-star. And then you look up and you're the supporting character in the story. You know what I'm saying? We're at that stage. But he loves it. I've actually taught him how to, of course we love making content together.

But I've also taught him how to edit and stuff too. So I'm like, yes, I can duplicate. Sometimes he doesn't quite get it right. Yeah, yeah. It's nobody who wants to work these days. But sometimes he really gets it right. And I'm just kind of like, that was actually a little better than my edit. Watch yourself.

You ate that one little thing. You ain't that one. You're not getting a bonus, but I will do a pizza party. So he's actually really great at helping me and helping me with like business stuff. I think we really underestimate like how many business things need to get done. He's like, you need to make this like official government business like on paper. I was like, what do I look like changing the toner ink on the printer? Like, that's crazy.

Like, you check the mail. Some stuff is man work. You know what I'm saying? And it's weird. I don't want to do. I'm not doing that. Yeah, I'm not doing it. So he's good at like sending invoices, stuff like that.

Like, I'm not doing that. There's certain things, yeah, where I'm kind of like, hey, I don't care enough about this. So can you do it? Can you do it? He's also really good at, like, I'll type of email. And I have a tendency because, you know, I'm a woman. over explaining things and apologizing. And he loves taking my computer and being like, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.

I want to request the meeting. Send. And I'm like, look, I can't just request the meeting. I got to tell him what it's about. He's like, no, send it. Like, I would send it. Yeah. So he's really good at reminding me like, no, you're worth this amount.

Like, and if they don't want to take it, they don't have to. I love that. Especially in this business because you have to like advocate for yourself all the time. And it's like the Wild Wow West. You're like, well, I know they might have paid this person this much, but I don't know how much, like, if we are the same in this internet space or whatever. Absolutely. Has your content shifted at all since having wild and having a baby? Oh, yeah. Is it like expanded or has it made it harder to make content?

It has expanded because, you know, people love babies. You want to make some money? Have a baby. But there is a world where now you're kind of like, you'll do something. And then people are like, you're wearing that bikini. You're, you're a parent. Like, it'll be a little bit of that stuff. Yeah. They start like minimizing you down. just a mom now. Right. You're like, are y'all getting high? Like, you have a child. You're like, oh, were we not? Oh, okay. Like, right. So it's that. Because life stops once you have a child. Life stops. You can't be happy or fulfilled or anything. If you ever choose to have kids or whatever, yeah. Of course, this is your decision. Anything you accomplish is your child's accomplishment.

Like, I literally made a documentary. It was at a film festival. I'm posting like, hey, my doc's at this festival. And the comment section was like, congrats wild. And I'm like, what are we doing? Hey, she didn't do anything. Literally anything you're ever nominated for if you have a kid. Somebody's going to be like, congrats to the kid. You're like, what? We have lost the plot.

Right. She didn't do shit. Or to be like, look at Ben's wife winning stuff. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that type of shit. It's kind of like, not the, obviously not the child comparison, but with your partner, they'll say shit to me that's disrespectful. And then they'll be like, oh, my bad dude, I didn't know, like to him. So like, I didn't know.

He earns respect, but not she. Yeah, like they feel sorry for disrespecting someone else's girl instead of the girl herself. Yikes. Like a person. I'm not a person to them. I'm just like an idea and I thought. And I'm like, what the fuck? And even I don't know if you get this.

I'm sure you do. But like sometimes I'll get shit where they're like, oh, it's clearly because of the money. That's why he's there because of the money. And I was like, even if he was. I got a lot of it. This is why you're there in your relationship, maybe. Yeah. Or maybe that's why you're not.

Right. Like, wow. And you see these fugly ass pictures. I'm like, this was before Drew had any money. Drew had no money. Drew had zero dollars when we started dating. Right. I can't get with the, it's because of the money because like.

I don't get that. Well, it's so funny because it's like, so which one is it? Are we gold diggers or are they with us because of the money? Like, choose a side. Like we can't be both. So people love to be like, women want these like high value earning men with all this money. And then it's like, well, what happens if I'm that? Well, he's just there because you have.

all this money. Okay, well. Right. And yet in both scenarios, I have someone and you have nobody. Right. So maybe you're worrying about the wrong math, girl. You're like, you got clot back into your shift, right? You took your break to argue with me, and now you got to get back on the clock.

I was going to ask you about hate. Like, do you ever get any hate on your relationship? Oh, of course. Well, what's really nice is eventually once you start getting like a nice following, you, you find your people. So, you know, your faves will tear down the haters. But early on it's hard because there's a lot of like... When you're building to it. Yeah, the early days was just like straight up and down racism.

And then as you create more, the racism is a little bit more nuanced, which I can appreciate. You know what I'm saying? Getting a little bored. Right. Like I can't deal with just like the, what is this like slave and master trope here? But now we're getting more nuanced like, oh, she's the angry black woman, blah, blah, blah. Okay. You know, still bad, but we're getting better, right?

We're moving, I guess, forward. We're lateral. I don't know what you would. Yeah. It's slow, but it is progress. Yeah. Whereas now, I'll be honest with you. Like, Ben and I kind of made a rule in our relationship that like, because it's so hard, right,

it's so hard not to read your comment section or whatever. Totally. So we made a rule that we will never bring up comments in either of our sections to each other. Yeah. And that now has lent itself to me not even reading them as much. Well, that's good. I mean, like, whatever protects your piece, too, especially as a creator, especially for us, like, when you're full-time creators, like, you're constantly posting any sort of content on any platform. And so having to look at comments all the time can be exhausting.

Especially when you're in an interracial relationship, I can only imagine. Yeah, yeah. It's just like having to see that shit all the time. I'm good. Yeah. And it's so old to you, right? Like, I don't wake up every day and think, like, oh, he's white. Like, we've been together for like 10 years.

So I'm like, oh, like, maybe year one was like some awkward cultural things. And of course, cultural things still happen. But it's kind of like, it goes beyond. It's like, you have a nose ring. You're like, well, I know I have it. Maybe it might be shocking to you, but like it's not like I wear this every day, you know. That's a horrible comparison. Yeah.

Them bringing it to my attention. Them bringing it. Yeah. You see the obscure analogy there. Yeah. So I definitely think that when it comes to comments, I'm kind of going back to my roots of like, well when I was a stage performer would I ever jump into the audience

and talk to them about what they thought about the show? Like I wouldn't do that so I have to kind of keep that mentality with the internet That's actually a really great way of looking at it Right because that would sound absurd Like Mona Lisa wouldn't jump off the wall and be like oh y'all don't like what you see She's gonna stay on the wall

What do you guys think I should do? Right yeah I'm she's gonna sit behind the bulletproof glass And it's like if y'all hate it that's fine But people all around the world came to see me Period I am obviously the Mona Lisa in this scenario. In this scenario. So yeah, that's kind of how I've had to treat my comment section now.

And I had to even get to a point where I was telling my family members like, feel free to go at them because, you know, feel free to get your pitch works out and do your thing. But like, they smell blood in the water when you start giving one attention. So I was like, I can't do it. I've kind of peeled back a little bit on that too. Yeah, what's your strategy? I think more so than anything now I'm just bored. So it's like it's a same shit over and over again.

You know, I'm sure you know, too. They never get more creative. Oh, no. It's just like the volume increases. Like, there's just more of them, but it's all the same shit thousands of times over. So, like, for me, like, men will say the exact same insults to me all the fucking time about, like, what I look like or my relationship or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's always fat, ugly, he's with you for the money. Yeah.

Can you believe it? Now, I'll take a thick every now. Now, you know, I had a baby, but when they try to hit the ugly, it's like. I said, please. Wow. Like, come on. You can't lie to me, bitch. You can't lie to me.

Stop. Like, that's crazy. That's crazy that you would say that. You're lying on Beyonce's internet. Like, that's not bad, but ugly is absurd. You don't lost your fucking mind. You got your fucking mind. You're out of your mind.

I've even said people, I'm like, I know I'm not ugly, but even if I was, like, let's just say I was lower on the, like my face card balance was low. Let's just say that was the case. I got one bitch beat and it's you. It's whoever wrote that fucking comment. I know I'm better looking than you. It really boils down to like, and this is me.

So growing up, we got to be in different reading groups, right? Totally. Some of us got to read Shakespeare. And some of us had to be in, you know, cat, cat. You know what I'm saying? And so the internet is this amazing place where all of the reading groups are in the same classroom.

That's actually such a good point. So you're like, I'm reading like, where for out that Romeo? And you're reading Word. So like, I can't argue with you. Yeah. You ain't even reading that. Green X and Ham is actually a pretty challenging book.

Like, I read it to my daughter. I'm like, damn, this is like, like, when do we get to the it? Right. Like, they're reading like a ball on one page and the next page is the teddy bear. Yeah, it's like those feeler ones. Right. Little baby books where you can feel the fucking pine. You can feel the rabbit.

Feel the rabbit, sir. Like, I just want to say that to anybody who's trolling, you'd be like, sir, touch the rabbit. Right here. Next page. Just focus. Don't get too overwhelmed. Mm-hmm. I know. I feel the same way too about that as far as like when you feel enough of them, you're kind of like,

all right, well, same shit, different day. Now I feel like when I, if I do respond to hate, it's got to be like I have something really funny to say or I just say it would be funny to watch them get fucked up. Like that also makes me laugh. So sometimes I'll just make it the center point of something and then they all, they get fucked up on their own. Like all my followers go over there. I love watching you do that because in my brain, it's like, have you ever seen like all

of the balls in a bingo thing being turned. And so all of them have gotten put in there. And I'm like, all right, Drew picked in 58. Who is that, motherfucker? And you just light his ass up. Yes. The magic number. The magic number. And, oh, you do it so well because you don't, you don't tag them. Somehow the internet always finds a way to figure out who you're talking about. But like, it's so brilliant. Because then we don't all know where to go to see who it is. So then they also don't quite get the clout. Yeah, exactly. Which is crazy. Yeah.

It's brilliant. I've even told people before, like, because they're like, why don't you ever tag them? And I'm like, I don't tag them because there's no free promo on my fucking page. Right. Like, and also, like, that never works out. And it could have been any of them in the little lottery. In the lottery. You got lucky.

Lucky you. I've even told people, too, like, some men have actually, like, tagged me and been like, I don't care if you find me fatty to which I've made a video in response to it. And then they're like, why would you do that to me? Why would you dog pile me like that? You tagged me and you told me to. come find you I did even once I've told like I've done it for so long now that when I'm getting like an influx of hate like which I get all the time but if it's like every single comment is hate and it's

all from a burner or a dude I'm always like okay someone's talking about me that's how I know someone someone has talked about me but they're too much of a bitch to tag me because I can't find it in my mentions so one time I made a video recently where I was like okay someone's talking about me I can't find them which probably means they've either blocked me or it's on a different platform which has happened too. Like sometimes they'll make, there are like 30 minute YouTube videos about me. Like,

white men literally just talking about like, what a fucking like horrible, like man, like they call me a man woman. Like they're just being transphobic towards me saying I'm a man. And like they call my boyfriend a cuck. Like they say all these, all this crazy shit.

It's like 45 minute long videos. And that's how I find out they make them is literally because they come to my page. And they started like, I watch so-and-tose video about you. But the other, day I made one and I'm like I can't find him so this is me uh just like I'm literally dispatching the troops oh you don't want to do that I was like everybody report back to me they're by

to hit them white bands and hack into the mainframe oh man this is consider this an assignment okay go ahead and dispatch report back your findings how long did it take them to find it took them like a couple hours and they found him a couple of words someone was like queen I found him I found him and they're like sending me his at and I was like thank you for your service appreciate you damn extra rations for you this month literally like why you could literally like turn over and take a nap people went and found this man oh that's exciting what one time in the very early days of me doing this i was probably like my first full year doing this yeah i got um i was getting a whole bunch of bullshit about some guy

that's why i knew it was on another platform because i couldn't find it on tictock and it turns out some guy did like an hour and a half long live stream on youtube but then cut it down and didn't put it on YouTube. He put it behind a paywall on Patreon. Okay. And I was like, what point for you? Yeah, like creativity, I guess. But I was like, you're a bitch. You hit it behind a paywall and I can't see it. Then one of my followers paid the money to watch it. And then screen recorded it and sent it to me. And you're not supposed to do that on Patreon. Like you're not. Of course. Of course. They're like, don't worry. I paid the entry fee, but then I canceled my membership. Wow. Like women and STEM. Women in STEM. Women is

STEM. I was like, not you Trojan horsing into there? That's sneaking in. Epic. I mean, I loved you before, but that, like, the the real, like, henchmen of it all is epic. I know, I joke about it. I'm like, I feel like I'm in prison and I'm killing people from inside. Yeah, this is a full, like,

cartel, like, organized system. Because you didn't ask them to join their Patriot. I really want to know how many people were in that Patreon. I know. I'm shocked. How did it is video due? You have no idea. I hope you made good money off of it. But he said a bunch of crazy shit about me.

Oh, I'm sure. Have you ever seen like crazy things made up about you? No, I definitely see like a friend has sent me like a friend on Facebook, which means you probably, we probably were friends at some point, right? Because when is the last time I used Facebook? But they sent me like, girl, you know this Reddit thread is about you and your man and the lore. And I was like, we love a great piece of fiction. Y'all have fun. Fan fiction.

We love fan fiction. Truly, Wapad. I, on Reddit, how do you do on Reddit? Horrible. They have wanted posters in my face all over Reddit. They fucking hate me.

Oh yeah. Has anybody ever like, I know you can't share this, but has anybody ever like, okay, you ate with that take. Like every now and then I'll see something especially when I used to read comments

and I'm like, all right, my ends are fried. Like you had me there. Like I do need a haircut. You ate with that. Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes, yeah.

Most of the time, when I get those, they're most of the time from not, they're from women or other, anyone else. Like a clever, we like a clever read. Yeah, I love a clever read. I'm super into those. Oh my God. With men, though, they're not very creative. I was pregnant, right?

And I was, like, sleeping on my, like, there's like a little pregnancy pillow just to make it more comfortable for you. At one time I was, like, Ben was like taking a nap on my pregnancy pillow. At one time it was like, Ben, if you don't get your fat ass off of Embers pregnancy pillow. You're like, oh, I was like, I'm sorry. That's just fucking hilarious. Or he told me like a couple weeks ago, he was like, I tried to make a video on my own. It was somebody was like, leave the comedy to Amber Loser. And I was like, hey, yeah, yeah.

He was like, is this you? I was like, I promise this not me. But they did eat with that because you should have asked me before you posted this bullshit. It was like 10 seconds too long. You know what I'm saying? Real well? Are you going to take the? feedback or not.

Right. They have a point. Because sometimes they will, like, especially if they're like, we loved this, but the video was a hair too long. I'm like, fair. Like, that's a good read. Yeah. It's like instructive feedback. What time? Somebody was like.

Since I can hear shit you said because all that dog lint on your shirt. And I was like, there was a lot of dog hair. There was dog hair on my shirt. Like, they gagged me. I've been gagged like that. And it's always like, it's people who love you. but they're like giving you and you're like all right relax yeah yeah take it down

a good video but the lashes need to be redone you're like that's happened to me that's happened to me a couple times so like oh you look so pretty in this but like I really hate that your lashes pointing a little bit down on your left eye I'm like don't look at me that close my last check is going through something and I was like me fixing it and I'm like damn you're right you're right you actually you kind of got me well yeah every now that I should give like a little

trophy to be like okay you did good and I did get some new shoes I had a girl once for it. I joke about this all the time with my creator friends. I'm sure you get them too. But it's like the because I, one of the most asked questions I get is like, if you ever gotten something actually mean that you were like, damn, that was actually a good one like from a hater,

like a straight up like horrible guy. And I was like, no, never. They're not funny or creative at all. That's kind of like the whole point why it's easy for me to dunk on them. Yeah, yeah. But the shit that I have gotten that is actually mean but mean funny and not intentionally mean is always from fans. And like recently I got one.

that was like this girl was like you know I'm such a big fan love your content oh I love it so much oh that's the setup yeah yeah it's always like you know shit sandwich and then she was like but you know mostly I love like your outfit picks like because I you know I'm tall too and blah blah but what she really wrote was you know especially like I also have big manly shoulders oh yeah oh they love that and the fact that you wear strapless things and tank tops it makes me want to try it and be more confident about my big shoulders. Like I have huge, like, she said, I have a really thick neck and like big traps and like you make me feel better about that.

Okay. First of all, how fucking dare you? Oh, no. Second of all, I was like, what's like, what's horrible about that too is like I love working out shoulders and back. That's my favorite thing to do. But not like that. Not like that.

I don't want the attention. You big, bullish woman. You make me more comfortable with me. Oh, yeah, I definitely would get that after like. I love seeing moms like you who don't care about their weight post baby. You're like, oh. Oh. You're like, oh, I didn't know I was in that delegation.

I've actually been looking for a trainer. Also, like, this is about what I was eating for the day. That's nothing to do with. She literally just DM that to me, my big manly shoulders. Oh, yeah. Okay, no for sure. They love that. Or even when they say like, oh, the makeup's improving.

Like, you'll be like. Yeah. Or like, we're almost there with the makeup. up you're like, bitch, let me see your mug because this is a picture of flowers in your background

and all of your grandkids. Let me see you, Pearl. Because I love, I love lash extensions. I get them all the time. Hell yeah. And I-

wouldn't be caught dead without them. That's what I'm saying. I love them. And now that I like do this for a living, I don't have, there's longer periods of time where I don't have them because I'm doing glam a lot.

So like, they fall out faster when you do glam. And so like, you're a strip girly now. Yeah. It's like I got to do both. I got to live in bowl. worlds and sometimes when I film videos with no lashes they're like God I almost

didn't recognize you because you have no lashes or they'll say like you look so much better without those you should never get those again you're gonna have to pry them out of my fucking dead literally oh my gosh I'm getting them forever I don't care it's like truly stepping into like the matrix like you you need a lash like you can't once you last you lash I'm telling I told one of my girlfriends once she because I when I started getting them she's like hey do you like lash extensions are they worth it. I was like, yes, 1,000% they are. And she was like, okay, well, I'm going to try

a lash lift first because she's like a natural girlie. So she's like, I'm going to try lash lift first. Oh, I can't stand those. They're such a waste of money to me. They are. Because they don't even last that long. They don't even last that long. I think I got one once and I was like, I need my money back. Like, you literally like blew a kiss

on each of my eyelashes and thought you were laying there for three hours. Right. What's going on? Like, what's been lifted? Nothing. It's my spirits, apparently. Right. And then for only 20 minutes. And then she told me she got that and she said it was all right. But then she got lash extensions. And she's like, I'm honestly kind of pissed off of you because now I feel

like I'm the ugliest bitch alive when I don't have them. And I told you that. And you are. And you are. And so am I. And I am too. I. I think that's why I love getting that kind of feedback from people because it's like silly and funny. Sometimes. It's like your sibling. Yeah, exactly. Like your sibling will take a dig and they think that they're your sibling too. So you're like You're a cousin at best. Let's not get cute. A colleague, honestly. Yeah, I know.

One time my sister, this was like a year or two ago, she goes, oh, dude, I saw the video you posted today. I'm like, oh, did you? She goes, yeah, that was the funniest one you posted in a while. I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been posted for two years. Oh, okay. In a while.

In a while. She's like, well, yeah. And I was like, okay. Yeah, no. Is that the end? Okay. And you're like, what about these real? And I'm like, well, hold on now.

I pull up like, like, my best. tits on YouTube. Yeah. See, your sister does that. My mom does that. Oh, nice. She's good for like, oh, we're doing some new material. Yeah, yeah.

Because she's like, the rest of that shit you've been doing is tired. So I was going to say, glad you brought it up. I'm glad you brought. We were doing a podcast for a while, but now we decided to wrap it. But in the beginning of the pod, I mean, she had notes on each episode. She's like, we lean too much in the Southern accent at this part, like maybe for, 24 in. And we brought it back at 713.

Right. I'm like, wow. You're like, oh, you have notes. Notes. Well, because you know, she's like, I've had notes your whole life about everything that you've done. So why would the internet be any different? Yeah, she's like, well, I figured you wanted feedback.

Right. I'm trying to make it better. You're like, okay. No, for sure. Unsolicited all the time. Okay, we're going to go into our topic. Our topic for today is horrible men online who promote like treating their wives like accessories.

instead of partners, obviously. And here, my producer, Amber's reversing this exact mentality by building a comedy brand around her husband being the accessory in their partnership. Period. We love that. Have you seen the new, like, trad wife trend on TikTok? Yes, I have. It's crazy.

I don't understand. Well, the creator in me is like, okay, sure. Yeah. This is like, you want to do something new that hasn't been done. I always feel like white people's business. I'm not going to get in it. Right, right. I'll watch it from afar.

It's interesting because it's like, it's trad wife stuff. And then it's like, well, I'm not a trad wife, but I do make homemade cereal for my children every morning. So you're like, you're kind of slipping into that as well. And so I'm always thinking about like, what are all the pieces at play that made this video come to life? Like is your husband shooting it and editing it? I just know that because like that's what my husband helps me do. Like in the videos where people are like, she's so fucking mean to him.

I'm like, Ben edited that video. Like you actually don't even know that. Yeah, it's fun. And he scheduled it to post. Yeah. And like, I didn't even do a final look of it. So I'm always like, do these trad wives like brainstorm with their husband what they are? Because I know how hard it is to be a content creator and posts consistently and come up with concepts and all of that. So I'm like.

Especially if you're a partner. Right. I'm like, what's actually going on behind the scenes? Or are they actually like you're dead inside? I've thought that too, even about men who make misogynistic content. Like there have been some men where I'm like, do you even believe the shit? Yeah, you don't believe it. Or you just doing this.

it like it makes you infamous instead of famous like it gives you like some sort of notoriety and you're just you want any attention exactly by any means necessary right but if they saw you in person they would be like oh my god true yeah oh that's just a character i play like that type of bullshit which like there are men who are for real that way and then there are men like that which is like I see what you mean it's kind of hard to tell sometimes especially now because everybody wants to go viral everybody wants to go viral but in the tradwife thing I always when men are talking about like that's what I want kind of deal I always think like there are women who exist like that who like want to be stay at home moms and there's nothing wrong with that

it's more so like you don't want women who want that you want women who don't want that and you want to force them to do it because it makes you feel good like it gives you power yeah like who is the target audience for the tradwife content I don't know like other single men right because I don't think it's women no it's absolutely not so it can't be if it is religious women yeah yeah pick me women women that hate themselves pretty much those will always exist because there's men to hate themselves everybody hates themselves a little bit

yeah that's like a new level of yeah it's like a uppity level of like it's like i'm not gonna admit i hate myself i hate you kind of think like they projected it out instead of focusing internally of course but i that's actually really a really good point because then i think they conflate women who like are just stay-at-home moms and they have supporting husbands yeah it's almost like hard to tell because then like people who are watching both sets of videos they're like oh well these are all one in the same. Whereas some of them really are trad wives, some of them are pretending to be child wives and some of them are just stay-at-home moms. Yeah, it's the pretending. Because you could be a stay-at-home mom and have your shit together, of course. But like,

friends of mine who I know are stay-at-home moms, those households are still a mess. Yeah. And my house is a mess. And then it's a stay-at-home dad. So it's like, I know how crazy that stay-at-home life actually is. It's like, why are you in a cottage dress? Like, trying to make it look like it's not that. Like, so when did you go by the dress? Wasn't you watching the kids? Yeah. Yeah. I wonder that too.

Yeah. Yeah. I've seen one girl and she makes homemade bread all the time. It's a white lady. That fucking bread. That bread is probably good as hell though. She lives in like Europe or something. I've seen her stuff before.

But sometimes she'll spend all day making bread. And I think that's so great. But for me, I don't know what it is about cooking. Oh, God. I don't want to do it. No. Hey, no. And I love the girlies that do.

Me too. Like I like that. Like I have so many skills. You know what I'm saying? I can't have another one. Visualizing things. Being a center of attention. Being hilarious.

Being beautiful. I can't also be good at cooking. That would be crazy. I can't be weighed down. That's too many talents on one bitch. You know what I'm saying? God doesn't give with both hands. Absolutely not.

He did not give me that skill. I think that's why he didn't give me the gift of singing. I told me if I could sing, I would be insufferable bitch. I would grow. I can halfway singing I'm insufferable. Like, I can carry a tune, but I'm not like, you know, Mariah Whitney, but I can sing in a choir. That's good. And I'm, you're further enough than me?

Yeah, I hear myself, annoying, everybody in my family, everybody. If God gave me that gift, oh, man, I'd be the size of Godzilla and I'd be terrorizing the town. If you could sing a little bit. Girl, can you dance? I can dance. That's a no. I can vibe. Okay, you're like, yeah, I can dance.

Girl, come on, look at me, I'm brown. I can dance. Yeah, right. You've got rhythm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so at least. You can't like playground dance studio dance. Has anybody ever wanted you to do like the TikTok dances?

Every time I'm like, I can't do those. Yeah, no, I'm good. Hey, no. Mostly because I'm fucking old. Like, I'm like, I'm too old for that shit. You're not old. I mean, I'm, I feel old sometimes. I'm a million years old in TikTok years.

Right, right, right. I feel like TikTok years are like dog years. They are. We're living seven for everyone like fresh young 21 year old. Right, because it was hot on the block during the pandemic, which was like definitely dog years. Yeah. And now when I tell people all day, I'm going to be 29 this year.

And when I tell me how old I'm going to be, they're like, oh. Oh. Oh, I'm 22. Yeah, I can fucking tell. I can tell. By the way, the life flashed before your eyes when I said I was going to be 29. Like, you can fall asleep on a couch and not be in pain the next day. Oh, girl.

Sometimes I'll get invited to stuff and I'm like, what time does it start? Oh, my gosh. That is the crossroad I constantly face when I'm trying to get back into stand-up comedy. Oh, yeah. Because like, yep, you bet, you bet, 11 p.m. Your slot, you're like, 11 p.m. I have a toddler. Like, I would be woken up at 4 a.m.

to like a sticky hand slap. Talk about something. Mommy, what does a zebra say? Like, that is my morning, every morning. Do you know what a zebra says, Drew? I still don't. No. I never have an answer to that question.

So I... She is going to get that answer. She's going to ask you every morning. Please tell me what a zebra. I'm always like, not black enough for the black zebras. Not white enough for the, I live. I literally don't know what to tell her, you know what I'm saying? But that is how I wake up every morning.

Damn. A sticky hand. Slapping. You know, recently, I actually, I can't eat hot chips anymore. Oh, yeah, you got to get no. Girl, that's it. You got heartburn. I told, yes, that acid reflux bitch, the way you have to sit up at night if you eat too late.

Girl, I told people, I made a video about this because I was, I got drunk at the work event once. As one does. And I was hung over two days later, which is me being fucking old. old and I was literally telling people I'm like let this heed my warning if you're young. When you get past 25, bitch, it's alcohol and you develop allergies. Don't know what the fault that is. I woke at one word. I was like, I can't see.

I was like, what is happening? And Ben has horrible visions. So every morning he's like looking for his glasses. And that was the one morning. He was like, mm-hmm, not so fun. Not so fun. Yeah, because when he pisses me off, I just grab those glasses in the morning. You know, it's like, remember last night's fight?

good look with the first half of the day. Good luck. Good luck because he cannot. But allergies is a new level of like, my body hates me. I know. I'm like, what is going on?

Like there's certain things I can't eat anymore. Like my lactose intolerance, I feel like I've had, but once I pass 25, girl, it's whooping my ass. Like I can't. Heavy, heavy.

If I find I'm like, is there heavy cream in it? And they're like, I'm like, oh, I can't have it. Oh, now you're that person. When the winter comes by, you're like, any allergies, well,

Well, heavily lactose intolerant. Unless you want me to shit my pants in this booth, I wouldn't bring that to me. And don't have a baby. Your bladder can't hold like it used to. So when you have to go, you have to go. Even after? Even I had her two years ago.

And if I had to pee right now, they would have to pause. Like, it's so bad. That's crazy. I've almost peed on myself and probably peed a little bit on myself so many times. And you know how it is when you make it to the bathroom and then there's a line? You're like, oh, well, I'm going. I'm going on my. stuff in the line. Sorry guys. We go like I had to I had a baby so I had a baby like what you want me to do it's still very hard to hold my bladder.

I can't even imagine. And for the spicy chip thing, like, I just, every, when I wake up, if I have hot chips now and I wake up in the morning, I feel like I have like sour stomach, like hungover stomach, like bubble guts type of shit. And I was like, I literally called my mom the other morning. I was like, bro, I'm like sick. Like, I feel fucking so sick. And then she was like, well, would you eat yesterday?

And I told her like, I ain't real standard stuff. And then I had some hot popcorn, like hot chito popcorn. That first of all sounds amazing. It's so good. I want to took the risk. You just got to have some tums or something on you. I got to pop a couple tons. Dude, I told her, I was like, I don't think I can eat them anymore.

And then I didn't eat them for like three days. And then I tried again. Right. Same should happen to me. I love that. You're like, this almost killed me. Let me just try it one more time. Just to make sure it wasn't a fluke.

Just to be sure. Just to be absolutely 100% positive. That's the worst. Yeah, I'm like that with, I have to stretch more before just regular activities. Like, I have to stretch before I walk the dog. Like, that is a task that has to be. done at least three times a day. And I'm like, let me stretch.

Like, no, literally now me and Ben have to like stretch before sex, like for real. Like, is it like, is this going to be a level 10 kind of night or like like a level two energy? Well, how deep of a stretch I have to do? I just need to know what your game plan is. Right. Like, is this, okay, it's been a while. Let's stretch for real.

And it's so unsexy. Yeah. You have to warm up. You're rolling out on the foam roller. I've been watching like a lot of sex in the city because they put all the episodes on Netflix and everything like that. And so, you know, you'll see these scenes where like, like, even like a 35 year old carry is like doing all of that like walking into the apartment kissing

this guy I was like you're gonna fuck up your neck like I know your neck hurts your neck hurts you're stuck looking this way I go to a concert and my body hurts the next day because of like this motion yeah well we talked about Coachella like we didn't I didn't go this year obviously I don't know if you're going this weekend no yeah but even after my first like even last year when I went my first day after I felt like I got hit by a fucking bus. Yeah. And all I did was walk a lot and stand.

So not much. You know what it is too? It's like maybe the tax bracket is different now. I don't know, but I can't do cheap liquor anymore. I literally can't. Like that'll be what the difference is. Yeah. It's cheap anything.

Like you can't, like what you could do in your early 20s, can't do it anymore. You cannot. You need like high quality versions of it. Cheap clothes will break you out. Like cheap alcohol. Cheap skincare. Yeah. Oh yeah.

When I was in college and I was broke as fuck, I used, I literally bought, I think it was like 500 makeup wipes for one dollar and it's probably because they were sandpaper but like I was literally I was doing it and I was using them that sounds unwise yeah and my skin I was like it's fine and then my sister was like what are these she was like where did you even get these because the I don't even remember the brand it was like an off brand like some I don't even remember the name and she was like don't use these anymore they're so bad for your skin I'm like it's fine if I use that shit now yeah yeah I'd do it and just be clean muscle all right right right like you just like it's scrape all my fucking skin off, just right off like a skin knee.

Okay, I'm going to read some of these TikToks. Okay, so in this video, a man is talking on a podcast saying, my wife stays home and she's submissive, so she looks at me as the leader of the home. When we have a disagreement, guess whose word is the last call, mine? The caption of the video. That's what you think. Right. The caption of the video says, get a wife who believes in sex and teamwork and your life will make sense.

Oh, S-I-N-C-E. Yeah, yeah, he said since, and that's exactly how his spelling was. Okay, well, lot to unpack. Well, wives don't believe in sex. Like, what's happening? I know, I was just what to say. They love to hit the block being like, make sure your wife is giving you sex on the regular. Like, if you're doing a good job, she probably will.

Yeah. But if you're doing a two-pump and go to sleep. Yeah. No, that's not a vibe. Even recently, too, I was, like, defending the book talk girls because these men are getting pissed off that they're reading like fairy smut books like there's like sex scenes in the books right oh come and they're fairy very very men whatever the fucking somehow right somehow lips yeah that really like bothers them for whatever fucking they're like they're reading porn okay yeah even if they were who gives a shit right

who cares like damn we can't watch it now we can't read it like they're also using their imagination like there's no visuals at all they're just like you know I think it's just another thing they have to feel inferior to is like an imaginary man they should because I'm sure that fairy smut goes crazy. I read regular smut and it goes crazy. So I can't even imagine with the wings and shit. It's fucking crazy. And so like what I was talking about it, I'm like,

you don't give a fuck that women are reading porn. What you care about is like women are exercising sexual autonomy. Right. So they're like saying that they're consenting and saying they want to have sex and not to procreate. It's just like because it feels good. Yeah. Like you can't just want pleasure.

Yeah. And they get like, witch! Like burn her. Like as soon as that happens on like all of a sudden everyone's the fucking pope. Like we're just a shit. Everybody's the fucking folks. And I'm just like, bring that energy to the bedroom.

Like, bring that. All this, a lot of this. And not enough of this. You know what I mean? Yeah, let's get back. If you put half of that energy into learning some anatomy, you know, too much of this. Too much of this.

Too much talking. You need to go put them fairy wings on and make a fucking move. Yeah, like just like get some reps. Like, fuck. I don't understand. I'm like, I don't understand worrying about something that you're not even having, first of all. I would really love to see one of those podcasts talk about sex and talk about like,

and here are all the fun ways that I seduce my wife too. And here's all the cool positions that we do. Here's how I keep her happy. Yeah. Because it's always just like women should believe in sex. Okay. I'm listening. Let me.

Let me. Talk to me about it. Let's talk about it. What's the course? I want to believe. Let's teach me why I should believe. Teach me. Better yet, show me.

Stand up on that podcast, Mike, and show me what you working with. And they're like, horse. Right, right. It's like, well, as a married man, okay, so shut up. Well, I haven't had a, I actually haven't had sex in years, but. I just wish the internet used to be like, like, like the Mori show is like, now let's bring out your wife. And she'll be like, I'm actually not satisfied more. And we're like, yeah. Not even a little bit. Not a little. Or they're like, let's bring her out. And there's no one there. Right. Or I really feel like this, the video that I watched a bag out of the pod. I'm like,

there's no way. This is like a blow up doll at the house. You can always tell your wife. Like, that's a vibe. Yeah. I, I feel. I feel. like, that's your fantasy? No judgments. I feel like, too, it's just, again, it's one of those, like, there's a whole lot of talking, not a lot of doing. I feel like those who can't do teach kind of thing. Yeah. So I'm like men who like, first of all, men who are fucking hanging brain and men who are really good in bed, don't talk about it. Like they don't need to like broadcast it to the world. They don't even like, hey, guess what? Guess what? And I was like, also the frequency with which you want to have sex, it does not automatically equate to good sex.

like you said. Like just because you want to do it all the time. Correct. Doesn't mean that you're good at all. I moved to L.A. like a year and a half ago. And so Ben and I have really been like exploring some of the like the kink scene in L.A. Okay, period. And you'll go to these like vanilla kink party.

Like vanilla ones are where there's no sexual play, but everybody's talking about sexual things. There's a lot of people there that I've met there that are like, I join the kink community because I don't even like having a lot of sex. I just like being kinky. I like the foreplay part of it. But I don't really have a lot of sexual intercourse. And you'll meet, like, those are the times where I've met men who are, like, really into sex and different elements of sex. And you would never see them on those podcasts. Like, these are the men with, like, they like the dungeon shit.

You know what I'm saying? And they're not making content. I'm like, you need to make content. You need to make content because you actually know what you're talking about. You know how to lock. Like, you know, flogging and shit. Like, you need to get on the mic and do that. And less of these guys that are like, sex.

It's like, okay, go on. They're all. Well, I'm not having any. But I do have a lot of thoughts. Right. And what's the sex and teamwork? What are we fucking playing dodgeball? What's the teamwork part? Because y'all don't want it to be teamwork. Y'all want her cooking and clean it.

Yeah, for real. That's why it's like, well, I only have two hands. Right. I can't jerk you off and clean at the same time. Which one do you want me to do? Yeah, I got to prioritize. They're exhausting. The comments on this. This one says, works in some households also a lot less stressful. Talking about like a submissive woman. If you want someone who blindly follows orders, like, why don't you get a dog?

Right. Like, they'll blindly follow an order. They really will. They'll train them well enough. They'll do anything. I just, I had a dog here. Even a good dog won't blindly follow orders. That's true.

That is actually true. Up with y'all. There was a plant. Or a Roomba, because you could tell it what to do. Or a Roomba. There you go. I'm not about that. Rumba life.

You got a Roomba? Yeah, actually. Do you know Carlo? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He actually got us, me and my boyfriend. a Roomba for a house warming gift. I love Carla for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got it. He's like, did you guys like my gifts? I was like, dude, I fucking love it. My dogs aren't a big fan of it. Like, they get nervous around it. Of course.

They just follow it everywhere. But it's good. It's nice. White people shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I used to groves thing, I was like, damn, you guys got money, huh? Yeah.

I got a little mini vacuum. See, going back to our cheap shit era, I need to get rid of my Dyson and get on that Rumba life. Wait, but that Dyson vacuum? For pet hair? Dude, my sister has one and she said it's fucking awesome. It is awesome. Is it the best vacuum ever?

Dude, I got to get one. But it doesn't do itself, you know? So it is missing that element. It needs to be self cleaning. Of course. That's actually, I honestly, I'm probably like a sketch of you like putting a little skirt on a roombook and like that podcast guy. It's like that is his wife. He's dressed like a French maid.

Yes. And it's got like a little bread basket because she made bread. Obviously she all the time in the world. 24 hours and she did all of the. this one says damn that's a dream life and then the creator wrote back truly is teamwork is what this is about understanding roles as husband and wife like you said what about did you teach like dare courses before you decide there was start a podcast like what do you even talking about what part of that is teamwork too where you tell her to do

stuff and she does it like how is that team that is such man teamwork I was telling me that the other day it'll be like I was like all right so I want you to do the dishes he's like yep we'll do the dishes I was like no we is cold for me me. I need to hear you say you about to do them. Like have you ever been talking to your man about something like that? He's like, yeah, we're going to go do this. So you're like, you know that I'm going to do that. And you're and you're going to sit there. It's like Thanksgiving day. Yeah. We can't wait to host Thanksgiving. It's like, we really? We. And I don't even cook. So I'm like, how did I end up hosting Thanksgiving? Me either. I'm at home foods buying turkeys

to like reheat. You know what's funny is on Thanksgiving last year, I wanted to make, what did I make? Oh, mac and cheese. But I wanted to make one that wouldn't hurt my fucking stomach. So we did like lactose-free. Oh, yeah. It takes fucking forever, first of all. Dude, grinding cashews. Oh, I'm out.

I bought two pound bags of cashews. Girl, over and over again. I helped in the first like 30 minutes. And then I was like, hey, I like really don't want to do this anymore. Right. And my boyfriend was like, okay, cool, because you're slowing me down. Like just get out. Love.

Talk about it. Perfect. Because I don't have to do every task. You don't have to do every task. So what do you love to do? If I hate to do it, can you just take it? Yeah, exactly. We have chores like that too that I think I'm like, I'm cool with doing this.

And I know you don't like that. But I hate doing that. And I don't like doing that. So kind of like tradesies. Right. So like if he hates doing dishes and I hate doing laundry, like he'll do laundry. I'll do dishes kind of thing. And then sometimes we swap.

But it's not many. It's nice also because Ben and I have been been together through so many like different parts of our. life together. So of course there was a time where we were living in like a one bedroom. They like had tons of mice. And I was like, this is a you problem. My guy. But they're everywhere. I can't set every trap and pick it up. I was like, you going to do that. It says, well, like picking up a mouse. Like, are you crazy? Oh, dude. I hate. You ever picked up a mouse or seen one even? Yeah, I hate them. I never again. Critters. I hate bugs. I hate birds. I hate lots of

animals honestly. Like I just like don't want any problems. Like don't come near me. Well, a mouse is also a your sign of like, I have lost control on my life. It's like, I pay the bills on time. I go to work. I'm cleaning. And there's a mouse here. I can't. It's the true sign of like, you're not in control. Like when it runs

across the floor, you're like, I'm not in control. You're right. I'm not. I can't control my own fucking life. I can't even keep rodent inside of my space. That's what it's like. That's probably one of those things I count with like cooking where I'm like, I'm not doing it, which is like bugs of any kind spiders. Like, I'm good. Like, if you want to like be the man and do it, I don't give a shit.

Oh, I love, I love gender shit when a mice comes through. I'm like, you got it. You're the man. I submit. I submit. Just get that fucking rat out. I'm the most trad wife in the world. Oh, my God.

I'll bake some fucking bread as long as I ain't got to touch a mouse. I will say this. So Ben's birthday is on Thursday, which is two days from today. Yes. And I'm going to, no. Tomorrow. It's literally tomorrow. Oh my God.

I literally was like, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm very convincing. Yeah, you are. I will tell you when your birthday is. You're like, it's not that day. I was like, she said it with confidence, you know.

So I'm going to try today to bake a cake. I've never baked a cake. Ooh, from scratch. Yes, like a dummy. I texted my friend even and she was like, do you have a mixer? I was like, no, but I got confidence. And a dream.

And I got strong arms. Like, so what? I got willpower. Right. I got fighting me. You know what I'm saying? So what can we do? So I'm really going to try hard to make him a cake.

Oh, that's so sweet. I love that. I made him, like, chocolate covered strawberries once. I was like, look at me so domestic. Oh, I was like, look at me so fucking domestic. And then I only made, like, five. And I was like, that seems good enough. It's like, and then I ate three.

Yeah. So we got it. Well, I had, oh, I made eight, but, you know, only five only made into the box. So I had to test out. Yeah. Just had to test them out. I just to make sure they were good. But, yeah, he loves to bake.

He loves to cook. I think that works out for us. He bakes too. What a dream. I know. Ben makes all of our meals in our home. I have been packed my lunch today. Oh, let's see it.

Well, we can rate it now because I haven't. Period. It's going to be like a muck-bong for all of us. Wait. I'm sorry. I thought it was right here. That was disappointing. It's behind you.

It's behind your chair, I think. Okay. You're like, that was embarrassing. Right when I came here, I like tripped over something. Drew was like, oh shit. No, you're totally fine. Okay. Which, first of all, we love a man who makes a lunch for his wifey.

Yeah, well. Period. Presentation. Let's take off a point for that. Let's see what's in my lunch today. We got some terriaki. Ooh. Some jerky.

Some turkey jerky. Oh, period. Nice protein energy. I love turkey. These are homemade meals now. We have a salad from home foods. I'm pretty sure this is a couple of days old. But that's okay.

Let's see. It's me. I'm probably still going to eat it. Okay, now he made this for real. I think this is a bagel with some turkey on. Oh, like a little sandwich. Like a little Sammy. Period.

And then he packed some pineapples. Oh, I love. And he cut this pineapple this morning. So he covered all the my plate. All in the Tupperware's. Food groups. Mm-hmm. And you know.

A man. This is a man. If you're at home watching, what are your lunches? We need to start a new tour. trend. Yeah, for real. Because I'm sure my man. He can pack those lunches. Period. Yeah, he packs my

lunch for me too when I come here sometimes to film. He'll pack me a bag of snacks. Well, they buy lunch here too, but Don't tell him that. It don't hurt them too. He'll pack me like a big thing of snacks for like before and after the show and I have to go home. And then he makes my coffee and leaves it on the counter for me. He's like, I made your coffee by the way. It's on the counter.

I'm like, oh, thanks. And I don't have to ask. Love that. Smash. Yeah. We love that. Yeah. We love that. Yeah, I'm gonna take that. Yeah, for sure. Okay, talked about whole kinds of stuff. Lots of relationships stuff, which we love. It's very rare that we both get to talk shit on our male partners together.

Because we love. We love. That's why we can hate them. Exactly. That's honestly, it's not real love if you don't make fun of them all the time. What are people who are not laughing in their relationships doing? That's what I'm saying. I really, I really genuinely want to know.

Like, what are y'all doing? That reminds me the other day we were watching a movie or like a show and we paused it. And he goes, have you ever drank alone? And I go, yeah. And I was like, gonna tell him a story about when I did. And then I go, what about you? He goes, no, I've never done that. And I was like, oh, oh.

Like getting drunk by yourself? Yeah, yeah. He's never done that? That's what I said. But I started laughing at me because I was like, the way I thought you were opening the door to a vulnerable conversation. You were like, yeah, I've never done that. He's like, imagine drinking alone.

I don't have to imagine it. He was like, no, I've never done that. And we were fucking laughing for like, like 10 minutes and I was like that's so funny hey fuck you by the way but that's so funny last day our sitter bailed we were going to go out but she got caught up doing something which is cool so we literally were like let's rock pick for scissors to see who's going to go out like somebody's got to get out because one of us has to get out of one of us has to leave the house so ben won and he went out yeah and so I obviously drank alone and it was epic I probably smoked a little bit too and you got the

best night ever yeah well you know once the kid went to sleep yeah what mommy's trying to be sad and depressed about her fucking self. This is my knee time. Literally. Honestly, true love. That's what that is. That's true love right there.

It's like, no, that's not love. Ruining it. Anyways, I would love to know what would you say is your best piece of advice for, well, first I ask you two-part question. First one is how to like have a sustainable long-term relationship where you guys love and support each other equally, like whether it's professionally or emotionally,

like what would you say is your best piece of advice for people who are looking for that or maybe they're they don't have that now and they wish that they did what would you say is your best piece of advice for them um i would say listening to your partner is the most important thing you could possibly do totally um and just like constantly checking in like i really have to be because so much of our work dynamic and life dynamic is it's the amber show yeah i really have to be intentioned about asking Ben like, well, how was your day? Like, oh, he went out with his, you know, he went out by himself last night and met up with some other friends, of course, at this comedy show. And I was like, I got to remind myself, like, to ask Ben, like, how was the comedy show? Yeah. And hear about them. And try my best not to lean into like, I could have hosted that if it was bad.

Like, like not, because it's so hard because you just feel like a narcissist. You're like, no, no, no, let me just like ask you how you are and like close my mouth and listen. Like, I really think if you want to be. be or or if you're not in a good partnership it's likely because like you're not being listened to. Yeah totally. So listen to your partner like literally like let them talk and you make a rule to like I'm going because that intentional.

Very intentional about it because it's so easy to be like. Especially with everything going on like work and kids and marriage. Right. It's easy to get distracted. Yeah. Want to talk about what's going on with you. Like if you went through your whole day, you're like I didn't ask my partner how was their day today. Or do you ever get to the end of day?

you're like, I have not kissed my man. Like that's crazy. Yeah. Sometimes you're like, that's crazy. I haven't done that all day. And I always acknowledge it out loud too. But I always, that's such a good point too, especially when you do content for living. Right. And it starts with you.

It's like you want to make sure that they're feeling attended to as much as you are. Because obviously like that's your whole life is like your posting, but also like who you are is like your job. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes. Because that's how I am too. But that's such a good point. And then for the second part question is like if someone is interested in doing like couples content or things surrounding their relationship and you obviously, we were talking about it before we started recording like the balance of it all is very fine.

Right. Especially now that you have a baby too, what would you say is your best piece of advice for them? If they're going to make content surrounding their family, their partner, like as far as balance goes, like what would you say is your best piece of advice for that? Well, I'll start with a don't do. I would highly recommend if you're like starting. content making at the courtship and on, I say do not. Yeah. Try to be couples content.

Like, don't be like, here's our first date together. Come with me. Here's my person who I've been dating for a month or whatever. Like, I didn't start making content with Ben until we were like at least into our second year of marriage. Yeah. And by that point, we were together for six years. Yeah.

So you do need a solid, strong foundation. I'm sure. Like, y'all were, like, there's no. I really don't know if you could create the way you do. and then start dating. That's true. Like y'all, y'all being together in solid for a while

because when shit is spiraling, you're like, I need you. Yeah, totally. Because the internet can be, like, I've definitely had a breakdown based on some internet stuff. Like, I'm kind of out of that era now, but like, I would be crazy.

Any creator has gotten frustrated with the internet. I needed somebody to be there rock with that because nobody gets it, but other creators. Yeah, exactly. So I would definitely say if you're a newer couple, don't try to make couples concept. Yeah, that's a good one.

I actually love old people's who have been together a long time. Me too. It looks like yours. That's what I'm saying. That's why it's funny because it's like that's a real couple. Like they've been together forever. Right. Like you know like they're not going anywhere.

Like sometimes things will happen and people are like, oh my God, my favorite couple is breaking up. I was like, y'all, y'all don't understand. Like me and Ben are a lot there for life. And also, this is a joke. But like, I wasn't making the money I'm making now when we first got together. So I'd have been signed no pre-nup. I didn't see my earning potential.

So if we break up now, I got to. pay his ass special support. So we definitely locked there for life, okay? You're not going to catch me out here, divorce in these streets. Because that means men will be getting a check. So we're in it. But I definitely think, like, newer couples definitely. Just don't.

Like, you've seen those YouTube couples break up where everybody's, like, making a thing. Yeah. You're like, let it grow on its own. Let it grow on its own. And offline. And also, don't be afraid. I'm kind of in a position now where it's like,

I'm taking the reins back on my career a little bit. just doing more stand-up, doing more comedy writing, hosting more shows solo. And people are thinking, like, there's trouble in paradise. And I'm kind of like, y'all, it was always actually supposed to be this. Like, the couple stuff popped up. And it was. It was you well before. And then you had like this like little window where it was you and Ben.

And then you guys were pregnant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it ebbs and flows because it's like I can't film without him because I can't walk. Like the baby is coming. You know what I'm saying? But I definitely think, I just. I don't know. I know this isn't worth a lot coming from me,

but I don't think any couples should have like just a couple's page. Yeah, that's fair. I think you should like, if you think like obviously people know me and Ben, but it's always been my page. Totally. Like, and I think it would be so wise for each person to have their own identity. If y'all make content together, sure. Yeah, totally.

For a lot of couples, the only page that exists is the couple's page. And that's hard because one day you want to just post you being silly in the kitchen on your own. and then you're like, well, do I have to run it by my person? Well, and then you'll get comments that are like, well, where's Sonto? Like, where's your brother? Where are they? Where's the baby? Where's it?

Yeah. Even me. My page is just me. It is just you. And people know who you're dating. People know who your siblings are. People know who your mom is. And you can know that.

Those are like, like, they're all parts of me. Yeah. My mother is me. My sister is me. Who I'm dating is a part of who I am. But it's like I'm also my own person too. Totally. So I would say don't make a couple's page.

Again, everybody knows me and my partner, but like... But that's not how it started. It was just like a beautiful thing that got added onto your platform. And it's funny because those aren't the only videos I've made. Those videos do the best. I know. You know, let's call a thing to thing. Those videos do the best.

I've seen a few of just you and your baby and they've done really well. See? That's what I'm saying. Like, or just you by yourself. Yeah, yeah. Well, I found you before you. Right, right. We're just posting stuff with Ben.

Yeah. And that's why I'm like, that's why I know that. But that's the, I guess, the frustrating part too is like when people find you at a certain stage. They just think that's all you are. That's all you are. And even me, like sometimes I'll post like one time last year I posted like a lip sync of a song and I guess it was like a breakup song.

I don't know. I just liked the song. And all of the, I literally deleted it because I was getting annoyed. But all of the comments were like, oh my God, something happened like they broke up like blah, blah, blah. What? No, I can't. You're like, you're doing lip sinks.

It's like, yeah, I'm a human being. Like, I'm a TikToker, bitch. I'm a TikToker. Like, damn. Hop on the trend too. Yeah. Like let's make some silly things. Everybody was doing it.

Yeah. Like if you switch up from the one kind of content that you do, sometimes people are like, wait, I know you for this thing. You're like, do you only do one thing? No. So I like to do lots of different stuff too. Even when I went to Paris, I posted like that take. It was like a, I think it was take off.

And it was like, I can't go out sad about no bitch or whatever. But I was in front of the Eiffel Tower. Of course. So that's all I was filming. And then people were like, oh my God, like they broke up. And she's probably on vacation in Paris. Like, who do you think? filmed the video.

Like, who filmed this? I was like, he's behind me haggling some guy for champagne for five dollars. The guy was like, champagne, 30 euros. And he's like, I'll give you five. Yeah.

Well, dude, knock it off. One time there was like two weeks where wild just wasn't in any videos because, I mean, I go back and forth about that too. I'm like, oh no, I've showed the internet my baby. Yeah. What are the dangers of that?

But now it's like, whatever. I'll just deal with, you know, people's kids are on the internet. Like, just like how back in the day people's kids would be in magazines or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But there was a time where,

She was not in videos for like two weeks. I was just making my own things or me and Ben would make a funny or something else is going on. And people were like, like, was your child taken? Like, what happened? I was just like, taken. What? You think I would be like lip sinking in the kitchen if my child was taken? And I'm super cool about it.

Like taken by who? Like the government? Yeah. Like, what are we talking about? You're like, yeah, actually she was and it's worked out pretty well. I've got a lot of work done. Right. Yeah.

I was like, actually, she was a paid actor. She actually never was my kid. Yeah, girl. My contract was up with her. She didn't want to re-send her. So she bounced. She found another mom. I was like, what are you going on the show?

I'm obsessed with you. I'm obsessed with you. You and your entire family, your beautiful family. I love y'all. You sure you want me to leave? I can say the rest of the day. Tell Ben right now that you'll move in with me. That's only fine.

You can come stay on. Both of our lunches. That would be a perfect match. All of us would be so happy together. I'm so happy to have you. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Where can everybody find you? Thank you.

everyone you can find me at burr i am so b you r r underscore i a m it was supposed to be like will i am but only i got the joke and that's okay and that's okay and that's okay and that's okay people are like buriam i'm like damn no so burr i am on tic-tac on instagram also on youtube and i've just been doing some stand-up around town i'm not sure when this comes out but yeah and probably in a couple weeks a couple weeks okay well hopefully i'll be in another show by then and i'm working on a pilot so i'm excited to finish that. I signed up for a class, so I will be forced to finish it this year. Oh, exciting. But yeah, but I'll still be making stupid stuff on the internet. Yeah, well, make sure you'll follow Amber on everything. That way you'll stay up to debate on all of her shows and all of her writing. That's so exciting. Congratulations.

Thank you, thank you. Thank you. So happy for you. Thank you for you for coming on the show. Thank you all for joining us on this episode of the comment section. Don't forget new episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite platform, me forgetting the word, platforms. Spotify. Thank you so much for joining us for this week. Thank you so much to my amazing guest, Amber. Make sure you follow her on everything and I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye y'all.