The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - I WANT TO BE BABYGIRL Ft. Jake Cornell | Episode 180

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

The hilarious Jake Cornell is here this week!! Drew and Jake talk about dirty martinis, gay zebras, Sex and the City, being champagne girls, straight culture, and so much more.  Jake IG: https://www.instagram.com/jakewcornell/?hl=en Jake Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jakewcornell?lang=en Follow The Comment Section on IG! https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/?hl=en Good News for Great Hair: The Best Haircare is at Sephora. www.sephora.com/shop/hair-products Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, I fucking hate when you're talking shit about yourself and someone's like, don't talk about my friend that way. I'm like, don't talk to your friend that way. Shut up. Don't talk to your friend that way. Let me be means myself. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show. Sorry, me, your favorite.

Everybody knows me who cares about me. On to the guest. Today we have the iconic, the legendary, the unbelievably hilarious. Jay Cornell. Woo! Thank you for having me. Oh my God. Thank you so much for coming.

Truly a dream. We've been passing ships for a while. We really have. So it's nice that we're meeting. We've had dates and then we've had to do the very thing of like, hey, sorry, I actually can't do that date? Can we change that? We have. We were playing cat and mouse. Yes, yes. But I knew I trusted that it wasn't a lie. I knew every time I was like, she wants me there. She's not working on this time. And I hope she knows the same when I'm rescheduling. And now I got you right where I want you. Sat and ready. But I did tell you to hold this for when we started rolling the cameras, but recently you went on a cruise. Yes, I did recently go on a cruise with my mother and my sister. This episode is presented by, So look, everyone's hair is doing its own thing. Curls, coils, color damage, frizz that has a mind of its own. Yeah, we've all been there. But Sephora, she gets it. No matter what's going on up top, they've got the products to treat it, tame it, or turn heads. We're talking shampoos, deep treatments, hair tools, masks, the works. And the lineup, Chef's Kiss, we have Amika, Caristos, K-18, Day, all the heavy hitters.

Sephora, good news for great hair. Shop now at sephora.com. And how was it? It was, so here's the thing. It's the second year we've done it. Okay. I found that a cruise, like if you want to take, if you want to go on a trip with your family,

I think a cruise is like the perfect, like situation because it is a container. You know what I mean? Okay. And if you think your family is fucked up, it's good to go on a ship with people that will be guaranteed more fucked up than yours. Do you know what I mean? you feel good.

Like you're saying, it's like my sister's pissing my mom off. And then we see someone like just like absolutely blackout drunk screaming at someone. It's like, we're actually good. You know what I mean? We're actually so good. We're evolved. And we love each other. Yes.

Yes. Are you guys making an annual thing? I think so this is the second year. And I think at the first year I was like annual thing. And then this we did it for a second time. And I was like, so we're going to pivot. I think it's time. I was like, I think for like the year three, we like change it up.

You know what I mean? Go somewhere else. Yeah. Maybe not a ship. Maybe not a ship. Maybe yeah. Maybe not something that can, but like, and I do, like, we do have fun. My mom loves it.

Like, my mom gets on the boat and she's like, well, I was born here. This is my home. Like, truly. That's my family. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. She, like, knows the captain. I'm like, how did you meet? Like, what's going on?

She's, like, she's like, should we go to this event? I'm like, where'd you find out about that? Like, she's like, it's, like, she's, like so integrated into it. And so, but I think, maybe we try something just like a different cruise because the thing is we went on the same boat twice. Right. And so you're sort of like, oh, this is the same exact. vacation.

You're like reliving it. Totally. Okay. What cruise did you guys do? I don't think I'm realizing I don't think I can say because it was a brand deal. And if I talked dispatching of it. Right, right, right, right. But it was fun though.

But it was fun. Okay. What's your favorite part about a cruise? My favorite part. Okay. So I love, like, especially when you're with family, it's very nice to like, it's sort of fucked up. It's like a little bit of Munchausens.

It's sort of nice to like not have a choice. Right. So you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, it takes away choice. You know, like, when you're like on a group vacation and like there's just like the three hours of like where we should go for dinner. It's like, we're going there for dinner unless you want to swim.

You know what I mean? So it's like it creates that. That's where dinner is. Yeah, yeah. So that's where we'll be. It's sort of like when you like hook the car into the car wash and now you're like, we're going. It's like that for like five days.

I like being brainless too on vacay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you a type A person? I'm, um, or type B. Okay. I here's my thing. I always say I want there to be a plan, but I'm down for us to deviate from it at any point. Okay, you're so me.

Yeah, because it's like, committing either way. No, yeah. You're so mean. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's sort of like, I don't want to go in with no plan because that means we are going to sit around and be like, what should we do for like five hours? And that's the worst. And I hate that. But I also, if it's like, if something more fun comes up, let's go, you know what I mean? I'm also like, money I've spent in the past never existed. So it's like, do you know what I mean? So like we can buy tickets to something. And then people are like, well, we should go. We can spend money on that. But I'm like, but I want to do the other thing. Like the money that I spent. The money I spent on it is not real. And that wasn't me. Yeah, yeah. If I bought tickets to a concert. six months ago. And then I don't want to go to that concert six months later. That's on the artist and they're not seeing you there.

Do you know what I mean? You lost me. Sorry. And you have my money, but I'm not coming. Sorry. Yeah. I hate to break it to you. I hate to do this last minute.

I will not be coming. I'm calling them. They're like, who are you? I'm like, emailing Lori's representation. I'm like, no, I actually love the word of them. But like, I mean, you know, and people are being like, hey, like, we had tickets. We're not going to come. I'm so sorry, we can't make it.

They're like, how'd you get this email? Yeah. No, that's actually so real. I like to say I have friends who are much more type A than me. Yes. So when they're there, Carrie's one of them. She's right here. When she's there.

She's got two screens in front of her right now. Exactly. She's doing scheduling. She's literally actively working. When she's there, I'm like, I'm brainless. I'm literally Nicole Kidman and baby girl. Totally. And she's the tall white guy.

I don't remember his name. Yeah. I'm starting to think that's what I need. Wait, tall white guy. Oh, Harris Dick and, Yes, she's him. Like, and I'm just Nicole Kidman. I'm just there for the ride.

Okay. I love that kind of thing. Yeah, I like to be, the thing is like I do, I think because maybe you'll really this, because I'm like loud and like a dominant personality and like we'll have some, I will like contribute an opinion. I think people are just like, oh, we can do that. But I'm like, no, I want to be baby girl. I want someone to push back and no one thinks I want to be baby girl because I don't

shut the fuck up. Right. Born to be baby girl forced to be the center of attention. Forced by me. forced by me, forced by me and the voices in my head. I'm like, no, guys, I want to be able to openly complain about the plan. I don't want to make the plan. I recently ruined a night out so aggressively for, like, for my closest friends where they wanted to,

they, one of, one of my friends, like, positive plan. He's like, I want to go to this party. It was in a group chat. I didn't want to go. And so first mistake, instead of saying, I don't want to go, I just didn't respond to the text message, which is like Cardinals said, just say what you don't want to do. I then find out that like a conversation happened in real life when I wasn't there. That was like, oh yeah, let's go.

And through like a series of like me misunderstanding as few text messages or conversations, everyone got a ticket to this party except me. And then it sold out. So now I'm, now everyone's betrayed me and I hate them. And I'm like truly, I'm truly, I'm truly being like, I threw like a temper tantrum of like a five-year-old child. I was like, oh, so everyone got a ticket? Right. And everyone, and I was like, there's a toggle on you down where you could have added numbers and you never, no one thought to call.

I live with two of you. No one thought to do. I was they were like we sent you a text asking if you wanted to go and I was like yeah but no one's you didn't clearly communicate either way I'm making up excuses either way miserable to be around for a week about this my friend is like hey I found a ticket for you and I was like amazing great I'm so glad this worked out I knew it would I knew it would I knew it would what you speak life into is what comes back here's the thing but that brought me back to the original point which is that even when before I knew anyone had a ticket I didn't want to go to this fucking party because I knew I was

wouldn't enjoy it because you had to wait outside for like an hour and a half in the New York cold. I was like, I'm going to be in a bad mood. And we had already planned to go to a different party that I knew I was going to like beforehand. And we were leaving that party to go to this party. Is there a gun in my head making me go to this party? Absolutely not. Yeah. We go to the party that, like our friends party that were going to before this party with the tickets. Yes. We're having a great time. They're like, okay, it's time for us to go to the next party. I don't want to leave. I do leave. I then stay with them the entire time, waiting, complaining that we're there. Like I was the most miserable version of myself.

And there was part of me that was being like, you suck to be around right now. But the parasites inside me. Yeah. But it's any, there's a, there's a demon that is inside me. And then the next morning, I stayed there until I stayed till three in the morning. And then I was like, I'm going to go. And it's like, they were like, thank fucking God. Oh, really?

Oh. And then it was one of those things where I apologize the next morning. I was like, hey, guys, I don't really know like what was off in my brain chemistry. But I acknowledge it. I was like a miserable to be around last night. Like, I'm really sorry about that. Like that one happened again. I should have just done what I wanted to do and I followed the phone mode and it was a bad idea.

And like sort of expected like the group response to do like the class again. Oh no, like you were totally. And everyone was like, you were really bad. Thank you for apologizing. Yeah. They were like, I forgive you. Yeah. And you're pushing it.

And never do it again. And knock it off. Yeah. That's actually so real. I think that's so funny. Even when we go to like Coachella, like when I went to Coachella this year, I'm going to be 30. So like I aged out of shit a long time ago. And by that I mean a lot of standing.

a lot of heat, a lot of kind of just looking in the same general direction. Not my idea of a good time anymore. When I was younger, for sure. Now, not so much. So when we go to Coachella, I like go with the most open intentions, just like we were talking about Taco Bell, approaching it with good intentions, right? So it can hurt you. Yeah, so it can't hurt me.

That's how I approach Coachella. I'm like, good intentions. Totally. But I reserve the right to do nothing and go nowhere. Like I tell my friends all the time, if I don't want to go anymore, or I don't want to go till 6 p.m. I hope everyone's cool with that. And we all kind of agree on the same level.

We're like, yeah, that sounds good. It's nice going with friends who are the same age. Because I feel like if everyone was younger, I'd want to kill myself. Every story, I've never gone to Coachella, and I can pretty commonly say I never will. I just don't think it will, I will thrive in that space. And that's fair. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, it is.

I'm so good at, like, I'm so good at, like, the sort of party where, like, we're having, like, there's maybe like a small enclosed space with, like, several rooms that I can bop through and like chat, but then there's like a place to sit down and there's a bar I can get drinks. Exactly. And everyone will be talking about Coachella and then they'll suddenly throw in a detail like it's normal where they're like, and then we had to do the two hour walk. And I'm like,

and people who are like VIPs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, girl. It's truly planes, trains and automobiles. Yeah. Like it feels like what parents describe when they take their children to the park and they're like, I just got to burn off the energy so they go to sleep. It's like, yeah.

So they nap, right? At the right time. That's how it feels. It feels like a big. Like, and I've gone at least three or four times at this point. And each, like, I've gone before I did this. I went again when I did this and then like whatever. I've had different experiences each time.

This past year, I said, no matter how many times I go, I encounter a new obstacle that I thought I conquered the year before. And I said, it starts to feel like the Hunger Games, the second one when the game master guy goes, he spins the fucking island. Then he goes, let's see him try to tell time now. That's how it fucking feels every time I go to Coachella. It's like they're spinning the island and I can't make sense of anything. And everyone's on drugs. Yes. And unhelpful.

And everybody who's working the event couldn't give a fuck less. So if I ask them for directions, they're like, bitch, I don't. They're like, I'm trying to stay alive too. Like it's sort of like you're asking them for help and they're like, hey, did you notice that I'm also in the desert? Like, do you mean? And they're like 22 years old. They're being like, hey, I'm not thriving right now. Yeah.

One of them just tried to sell me drugs and he's like, you think I know where the parking is? I don't. I'm here for a check, bitch. parking and that's the other thing is that I really the idea of like having to that everyone's driving there is so crazy because like I live in New York like I forget people have to drive places outside of New York like you know what I mean like I text. I felt like I'm doing another podcast tomorrow like my friend's podcast and I text and I was like do we drink on your podcast can I drive? Can I talk? And he was like we can't drink on your podcast. Can I was like we can't do you drink on your podcast. Can I'm just so nervous. I'm just so nervous about ending up somewhere I'm finding out I have to drive that I didn't know I have to drive or something like that. I just constantly worried this entire interview there's my Nissan. center that I rented is behind this building and I'm so nervous to get stolen because I'm not used to ever being responsible for a car.

I'm like 20% confident I locked it. I guess you'll find out. No, for sure. I did have, do you know Terry Joe from TikTok? All right, that's the first disrespect to the episode. Yeah, I know who Terry Joe is. When she, when her bitch ass was here, her car got towed.

And that's a fun fact. That is my nightmare having to come back inside to you guys. What's funny, what's absolutely hilarious about it is when I filmed with Keelon literally outside like he was dressed as Terry Joe. I had I had a Christmas sweater on and the shit was on the hitch and I was like talking to the guy and I was like, please put it down like I'll pay you right now. He's talking to the to the to guy like I was. In Terry Joe. Yes, I was talking to them and Keylon was sitting next to me in the dress in the wig and we're both standing on the sidewalk and

I remember someone goes you know what's crazy is what if someone drove by and go is that Terry Joe true. I bet someone fucking did. I was in the most obnoxious Christmas sweater too. Oh. And I convinced the guy

to put it down and not tow it. And then I had to pay, I paid the toe guy the feet and everything. And I told you and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It's so. The fact that you

in the middle of Los Angeles that no one took a video of that is like a profound miracle. I literally was like, I don't, even going to check my tags. I don't want to know what the fuck people are saying on there. I don't want to know. So if you did see me, no, you didn't. I shoot like all my videos outside. And it is my, I've said this before. If anyone takes a video of me filming one of my videos and

posted online, you will never see a video for me again. You will never see a video. You've retired at that point. Absolutely. I can't be, I can't see. I can't, I can't, I've been doing it for years now. And I've just like, I'm like, everyone thinks I'm FaceTiming. Like, no one knows I'm filming selfie videos on the, yeah, they do. If I see what the outside world sees, like, if I find out what it looks like from the outside world, I won't be able to do it again. It won't even be a choice. Every time I go to lift the phone and be like, no.

You'll have the flashback of seeing yourself doing it. Oh my God. To your point earlier about like a preference for a party, you're so to you for that of like, I like a nice and close face, people I like. Yes. Light bites, maybe, some drinks, nice music.

Yes. I'm with that. I like that. That's probably my favorite. And I do love a big party. But my thing is I like it to be inside. The direct sun's a lot. I like it to be inside.

So you have a big sweater. I'm actually not. I am. That's, it's tough. I'm a humongous sweater. It's fucking awful. That's tough.

That's tough. And there's no like, it's like there's no, if there's no escape, like if you're in the middle and there's just no sun, it's like, your body's being like, we're asking you to do something. Like we're crying for help. We're crying for help. And you're like, I sweat a lot. And your body's like, for a reason.

Yeah. Move. Take it. No, I fucking agree. And I, what's funny is one time I got invited. to a party after I did, I think it was last, yeah, it was last year I was in New York. I did Met stuff with TikTok for the Met, but I didn't go to the actual Met. And I, after the actual Met, I got invited to a really exclusive party.

I'll tell you about it after, like who it was. But I was like, why God, I go to that shit. Like, obviously they invited me. So then I went, I took my fiance and my sister. And I was like, truly I was dreading going because I was like, I don't want to talk. Oh, God. I got it's like one of those. It's, oh, it's such a tag.

to go to a party. But when you're old, it's like, it was old at that point. It's also not that, it's not a party with your friends. So all of the conversation is like, it's like all the conversation is the same conversation over and over again. And sometimes you like, it feels like a resume pitch. Yes. You had to, that happened to me.

The last time I was in L.A., I went to a party. Yeah. Where it was one of those parties were like, no one, a lot of people didn't know each other well. And I realized that every conversation was essentially me pitching myself as a comedian, even though I was not trying to do that. But the questions that they ask are, they'd be like, so what are you here for? And when is your show?

And when do you do your show? Yeah, it lends towards that. And I had, I like started to have, and I'm not really, this isn't normally like my vibe, but I did start to have like a minor panic attack. And I was like in the middle of this girl being like, and like, so how many stand-up shows have you? I was like, I actually go to the bathroom and then went in and fully had to like look in the mirror and do breathing exercises to be like, you can pitch, you can do this for another hour? You can get through this.

It's like, it's crazy because it's like all we want to ever do is talk about ourselves, kind of. To some extent. But then they ask the same questions over and over again. And you're like, can you ask me at my dad? I'm like, I want to go trauma. It's like, I'm a squarefio. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, can we talk? Like, I'm like, my parents are divorced. Do you want to talk about it? Like, you know what I mean? It's like, and that's like sort of the surface. We can get. I get that. Yeah.

When I went to the, and when I went to this party, I was like truly like, I was like, I was like, I was like, you're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. Also, mind you, I had taken edibles already before I got. You and I are so different for that. Yeah. I had already got, I already taken him. So I was like, fuck.

Well, whatever happens happens. actually wasn't like a real party. It was they had rented out like a small Italian restaurant in Brooklyn like the entire thing. And there was all all these tables and you just sat at a table and they just brought you food. And and I said, now this God chose you for that one. Yeah, God chose you for that. I was like sitting. Don't have to go anywhere. They just keep bringing me pizza and different kinds of pastas and I was like, yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'm into that. Also when I'm have them when I'm high as fuck, I was like, this is the greatest night of my life. I mean, you were so on you're ready to eat all the food. And I talked to literally nobody, not one person. I should have,

but I didn't. I should have worked that room. I did not. I did stand there for a while. At one point, my sister was like, oh my God, I think that's the lady from Law and Order SVU. And I go, Mariska Hargote, I'm going to freak out. I never get starstruck, but I love Law & Order SVU. And I love Olivia Benson. And I said, are you serious? Because I have terrible vision so I can't see. And she goes, oh, no, no, no. Her name's not, that's not Mariska. She's like, she plays Peter Parker's aunt. I go, oh, Marissa Tomey. And she goes, yeah.

And I go, all right. I do love her. I just was like, I was about to break my rule of not getting up for my chair to go take a picture with Olivia Benson. Also, if you had gone up stoned after eating like nine slices of pizza to Marissa Tomey, I'm like, I love you on Lonerra SVU. She would have been like, police. I forgot to mention too.

This was after I went to like a different party. So, but you know, the Met theme last year was like ethereal. something or other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I had this a very ethereal, long, like, Rapunzel-like braid with my outfit, but then I had to change for the party, but was too lazy to change the hair.

So you kept the braid? So I was giving, like, Rapunzel-at Disneyland character, and then I had, like, a jean tight bodycon dress on, and I was like, yeah, now's not probably the time. Can I ask, when you're wearing, when you're wearing, like, for an event like that, like, like, really high-end fashion like that?

How stressful are you about, like, staining it, ruining it? Like, what is the, is that? It depends. Because my ass would be, I would, it'd be toast. Yeah. I'm staining regardless. Like, I think, I think everybody's made peace with it.

Like, I'm a stainy kind of girl, unfortunately. I spill on myself all the time. Plus, sometimes for really big events where I do borrow clothes, like, I get spray tanned. So, like, it's natural. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's curtains for me, honestly.

Like, make peace with what the dress looks like after I get it back. I guess they have to know that you're going to, if they're renting it out. They do. And they dry clean it. And most of the time, like, stylus, I think will dry clean it for you. you two before they return it. So that's one of those things where I'm like, it's fine. Okay. Yeah. That's, yeah. Well, you did mention doing stand-up, which I already knew and you are a stand-up. I would love to know how you got into it. I got into it. So I moved to New York like 11 years ago.

And my first thing was improv. I did a ton of improv. Every great stand-up's origin story. Yeah. Villain origin story. Yeah. Villain origin story and also just like the most like annoying version of yourself. You have to be annoying to do improv. Oh, 100%. Oh, 100%. But I think I'd always been, I think that like I had always kind of been, I was thinking about this recently. I think that like I learned at a really young age that I could, I enjoyed like retelling

stories that had happened and making them as funny as possible. Right. And like rehearsing them and sort of being like, oh like, like I remember, I recently remembered like the first story that I kind of did that with. And I was like, oh yeah, like I worked that story as a kid. I would like tell it to anyone. And it was like an embarrassing story for my mom. you'd be like, please stop.

And I'd like, no, it's my material. You're like, it's my bit. I was like, this is my first 10 minutes. Like, you know what I mean? And I just remember being like, okay, like, if you hit that, like, people always laugh at that. And I think I really always thought about that a lot. And then I moved to New York and started doing improv and, like, got addicted to that. So kind of put, like, stand.

I had moved to New York thinking I'll do both and then just like went all in on improv. Yeah. And then was like really involved at the upright citizens brigade. Oh, cool. And was doing that. And then that closed for a while when the pandemic hit. Yeah. So then I started making very.

videos because we couldn't do anything else and I missed performing. Yeah. And then when the videos, the videos kind of blew up during the pandemic and so when like things started to reopen, I just started getting offered more standup shows than I had been before because I had been doing standup, but I was like doing so much improv and then I would do like an open mic here or there. So I wasn't really doing stand up enough to kind of break from like the open mic tier into like getting booked on shows tier.

And that I think the videos like just kind of help me push through that. Totally. And then because and at that point, I was. was kind of like, I was like, oh, now I'm like writing my own stuff. And like, because improv, you do a show, you're back to square one at the end. Like, you don't have anything, you know. And so then I really started to fall in love with like writing stand up, doing shows, like figuring out, like figuring out like a show and a set. And then it kind of just built over the last, I guess, like now five years. Yeah. So it's been it was, it was like a, it was like a huge kind

of pivot. And I don't know that I would have gone back to it had that not happened. Yeah. You're, you're actually so real for that too, because that's kind of how, I started making videos was telling stories. Like that was kind of the thing was talking about things that I found funny. Yes. And I've talked about that sometimes on like my other podcast with my sister where I've said like, my whole thing is like I want you to laugh at my jokes. But I'm not asking you what's funny.

I'm making you watch what I find funny. Well, that's exactly what it was because I feel like, no, because I feel like my feeling about it when I was a kid was like something funny happened to me. It'd be like something funny happened to me and I wish you were there to see it too. Exactly. So I have to tell it to you as perfectly as possible so that you laugh as hard when I tell it to you as if you had been there. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Totally. And I feel like that was why. And I think that's why with stand up now I lean so much more into like trying to talk about things that I think are true or like doing observational stuff because jokes. Yeah, totally. I have so much respect for comics who do jokes that are like totally absurd and kind of like, like, you know, like funny lies or kind of like subversions of things. Yeah, they're like distant from them. Yes.

But like I actually am like incapable of writing those because it's like so the opposite avenue I came at it from. That's actually so true too. I was I was recently because I had I've done a I've done stand up twice now. I'm sure you're killer at it. Thank you. I did a five for Caleb and Chris Fleming which was like a huge. I mean that's I mean to line up to even be a part of.

I was like you guys made a big mistake booking me. Sorry. But I did that and then I did a 12. recently, which like when I did my five, I was like telling my team after, like I felt a little stiff in it because even though I performed live many times, like standup was so different for me. And I love stand up. I have so much respect for the art form. That's why so many of my friends are comics and a lot of you bitches are mean. So that all kind of works out. Like we're all, we are one in the same birds of a feather, you know? Yeah. And so I felt like when I first

wrote my five, I felt almost chained to the material because in my head, I was like, well, I have to memorize this exactly the way I wrote it. Whereas like, what is fun for me and telling jokes is kind of like leaving the space a little bit open to kind of divert from it. Well, I bet because you sound, I bet you and I are similar in the way where the way you're going to memorize it is by doing it on stage. Exactly. Once, once a certain like rhythm or cadence of something gets a big laugh, I'll never forget it. Yes.

Because then I'm like, because then I'm like that worked and like I'm addicted to that. So then it's like, yeah. I know if I say this like that, it'll get a laugh and then I never forget it. Yeah, because I wrote them so literally when I wrote my jokes out, I wrote them like as if I was telling them even with like pauses, breaks, that kind of thing. to kind of practice it. And then I felt like I need to memorize that exactly. But when I tell stories,

I always hit the same points that I know make everybody laugh. Yes. But sometimes I divert depending on the room. Like depending on who's listening to me. Oh, 100%. I'll like hit some other points harder than others if I feel like the laugh at something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think obviously you've been doing stand up forever way longer than me.

So I'm sure you've noticed too. Like, do you have any favorite places to do stand up? Like anyone's where you're like, I'm going to hit every time there. Yeah. I mean, New York is home. So New York is always the best. Yeah. Chicago.

is always great. Oh, nice. Chicago's, that's fun. I've always, like, loved Chicago shows. I think that, like, because, like, Chicago's, like, one of the few cities that still has, like, a going out to see live comedy, like, culture. It's, like, part of their thing. Totally. And also, and, like, sorry, problematic. Sumi, they're drinking town, and I love it. I'm sorry. You know what I mean? Like, they're more fun when they drink. A hundred. I mean, there's a big risk with it, but there's fun. There's a sweet spot. There's a sweet spot. I did my other favorite place, one of it, I'm obsessed with Provincetown. It's, like, one of my favorite places. And I've done Provincetown three times now. Is that what they call P-Town? P-Town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, gays don't have time.

We can't say province. It's like everything has to get shortened. But we, the first time I did P-Town was on, the first time I ever played P-Town was the Sunday of Labor Day weekend at 9 p.m. Okay. And in Provincetown, people start drinking at like noon. Yeah. So I'll never forget this. I'm backstage. It was like, sold out show. I was super excited. I was like nervous also because, like, well, let's also be serious. Like, this is like a gay vacation town. I had been there for weeks. So it's like, I've hooked up with half the audience at this point.

You're looking at a real sister wife situation. I've hooked up with like a quarter of the audience. I'm trying to hook up with another quarter. And then half of them are like, don't ruin it this for me. Well, I'm sort of like if I bought, it's like, because like anytime, anytime someone is willing to like engage with me romantically after I have performed live comedy in front of them, I'm like, you, I either must be good or you have a brain injury because like there's no way.

Like the most unsexy thing in the world is being bad at comedy. Do you know what I agree? Like the most fun. I made that joke once where I was saying imagine like because one girl told me that her ex used to do. What was it? What's the character? Ace Ventura.

She said he used to do an Ace Ventura impression at every party they went to. And I said, was it good? She said no. And I said, damn. You got past two parties. No shit. Or one. I would have been like, and you know what's funny?

I was like, you know what's worse? It's like they tell a joke. It flops, doesn't land. And then you got to go home with him. No. You shared new carpool there. Okay, I did improv in New York City for six years. I watched women sit and watch their men do the most horrific shit on stage you've ever seen

and then come off the stage and be like, good show, baby. And I was like, heterosexuality is a sickness. Like, this is crazy. Like, crazy. You bitch is a brainwash. You bridge it a brainwash. I'd watch a man tag every person off stage off to do a solo scene where they like gave birth to a rhinoceros. They played the person giving birth and the rhinoceros thought it was funny.

Women would try to walk on. They'd be like, no. Like, you know what I mean? And then their girlfriend would be like, good job, baby. And I was like, I was like, something is happening here. Like, there's a darkness here. Right. No, but.

Okay, so you're at P-Town. I'm at P-Town. Oh, so they're like. And I was like, and I was thinking like, I bet people are wasted. Like, because I went to, there's like a, there's a party that happens from four to seven every day called tea. It's like a huge party on the dock. I had gone to it because my show wasn't until nine. Yeah.

And I didn't really drink or anything, but I was there. And I was like, well, people are lit here. And my show's like, four hours. So I was going to go. So I was backstage, like kind of like nervous. I was like, I wonder what the vibe's going to be. And they're like, welcome to the stage. Jake Cornell.

I come around the curtain. I, as I'm walking to the mic, I go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven people dead asleep. Like, sold out, proud. And in the front part, I can see in the light, there are seven people asleep. And so I was like, sick. And so that's-love that. The whole show was playing to, like, half the, like, I would say half the audience, like, was asleep or falling asleep during it because they were so drunk that they were like, like, I just, like, like, fighting to stay. awake. Like to the point where I was like, do we need a medic? Like I saw one person who was like,

oh, at one point. It's like artists that like are like, guys, guys, pause the music. No, I've been running any rap stopping to sell someone. Like literally. They need someone. Stop the track. Stop the music. Stop the phone. Stop the track. Stop the track. They're like, I'm like, it's too hot. Like it's air condition. No. You're just not funny enough and they're drunk. Sorry. No, but then I would do it was like so that it would be half the audience was laughing. sleep and then there was like this really demonic situation where there was like four people at the back that were so like just drunk enough that they got every joke on like a 30 second delay so I would tell a joke audience would laugh I'd start telling the next joke and then they'd be like oh because it was a dog like they would just yell like over it was a good one and I was like yes playing to drunk people is truly like it's hit or miss because like sometimes they're way more fun when they're a little loose yeah and then sometimes they take that as an opportunity to have their five minutes. of fame. Like, they're like, now is my chance.

Have you dealt with like hecklers or just like interrupter people before? Yeah, I have. Like, and, and they were at like my tour shows. So it wasn't like, it wasn't like a random, which I think is harder or can be harder depending on the situation. For me, it would be easier if it was someone who didn't specifically buy a ticket to come watch me. Well, I think it is harder when they, yeah.

They like, they like you. You don't want to. So it's like, you're like, I mean, we both could like destroy them. Exactly. Exactly. When it's a stranger, it's better for me. Absolutely. I agree.

And so I have had that. Have you had that? Not. So to finish, to finish, answer to before, like, those cities were, like, really, really fun to play. But I have had a couple cities where, like, I recently started playing clubs in some cities where, because normally, like, if I play, it's, like, most people who are there came, like, bought a ticket to come see me. Right. But I recently played, like, a, played a club that was in a town that had a ton of conventions in town. Okay.

Like, it's a, like, there's, like, a ton of big. convention hotels around the club. Right. So there were people there to see me, but also there was like a big, like, there was like a large number of people who clearly just like for like the later show, because I did like a five show weekend. So it was like there was later shows on Friday and Saturday. I think that there were people that just kind of had truly been like, well, what do we do at 10 o'clock

in this town or 11 o'clock or whatever was and bought tickets to me not knowing, just like bought tickets to like the comedy club. Yeah. So there were a lot of people that don't know me. So I had my first where in like the first, I don't know, minute and a half I mentioned I was gay and one guy in the front room goes, oh. And I was like, sweetie, you're about you leave now or you're in for a rough hour. Oh, yeah, lock in.

Because like, also the fact that it took you 90 seconds is crazy. Oh, God. You can see my shoulders. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, you know, I know you heard my voice. You do without me having to tell you. I was talking. I made a video yesterday about how I, straight people make, I don't understand them.

I'll love to your culture. But like. No, it's okay. We'll talk shit on them. I made a video yesterday about how it hurts my feelings when gay flight attendants don't like give me a special little nod of like, hey, gay guy. I just like need like some like gay guy, gay moment. Yeah, we need like.

And a bunch of people were commenting like they probably don't know you're gay. I was like, they know. Trust me. They know. And they know when you're gay too. And have you ever had like sometimes people like will pull you aside like, like how do you tell? And it's like how do you not?

I don't know like. Yeah, no. I've never in my life had to guess. It's literally, to me, it is. quite literally, like, putting a bunch of donkeys in a field and being like, how do you tell which ones are zebras? It's like, because they have, they're zebras. Because y'all have a bunch of donkeys out there, and then there's the zebras and the zebras are gay. And there's one fucking zebra. And he's doing this, so.

Like, sometimes I feel like you'll, like, people will do it about, like, little kids who obviously they're not going to come out yet because they're like small children, but maybe they're starting to, like, show signs of their powers. Right. And like someone will be like, like someone will be like, do you think like Teddy might be? And literally he's like in the living room in an Elsa dress like, ah! And it's like, yeah.

You know, yes. You know what? I think you might be on to something, Donna. Like, you know, that reminds me. I just posted a cut down when I filmed with Joe and Andrew from Good Children. My favorite people. Fucking love them. Wait, can I also say I listen to that episode?

And they were like, They were like, they were like, when we go to Pride under some fucking bridge, I invited that's that party. That was my idea to go to that party. It was a fucking Brooklyn Bridge. It was the Brooklyn Bridge. It was the Cajusco Bridge. Because it was under the Brooklyn Bridge.

It would have been a boat party. That's fun. We were under an over, like it was overpass. Like an overpass under on the ground. Concrete. Oh, yeah. That was concrete. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, for sure. And the party was not fun. And I felt so bad. And then, and it was three years ago. was the first thing they brought up when you said. They were like, we don't do that. I was like, well, they did when it was my idea. Yeah, no.

And they said they were like, we went to VIP. It was just a fence. So I will take, I will take. They text me back. I got there. I did not buy VIP because I was like, like, and they were like. Once again, you're left out. Is it like, but that time.

No, but it was like the kind of thing where I was like, let's check this out. It's like a $25 ticket. They bought the VIP. It was like $150. And I showed up and I was like, no, no, no, no, no. We were supposed to do that. And your experience was terrible. Yeah.

Like your $100 experience was terrible. Should have done 25. Should have done 25. And as I said, because as I said, I was like, well, the money's in the past. Like we can leave it up. But I couldn't do that time because I was like, y'all sent 300 bucks to me here. And when I was talking to them, I posted a cut down where I'm saying like talking to straight people is taxing. It's boring.

Yes. Right? Because and then Joe goes, I just can't talk about Survivor anymore. I just can't. And we're laughing. In the comments, someone wrote a funny ass joke where they said, me just list the restaurants I've been to to for the next 45 minutes, which is like, so funny. But to that same point, um, I got so many comments from people that were like, aren't you

straight? Yeah, I am. What does that have to do with me making fun of y'all? Like, what the fuck? Like, what does that have to do with it? I, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was literally also, also, if you're a straight person and a gay person and a straight person are making fun of you, we've chosen that straight person. You don't get to say it. Do you know what I mean? Also, I'm also straight. I can make fun of us. It's fine. It's fucking fine. And honestly, one time I was like, I was making this joke with Caleb and my sister. And I was like, if anything,

that's proof that you're straight because you're fucking annoying. Yeah. Oh. It's proof you're straight. Actually, I know for a fact you're straight. Because you're fucking annoying and can't take a joke. Straight people and white people and especially straight white people are obsessed with, are obsessed with doing like a sick comeback by stating

a basic fact. And it's like, we all knew that. What? I got a comment. that was like on that same video that was like, wow. And imagine if I said this about gay people, I said, they actually say way worse things about gay people, believe it or not. They're actually saying way worse things

than you're fucking boring. And also it would be a lie. Yeah. If someone ever said, made a video saying gay people are boring to talk to, you're a liar. You're a 1,000% a liar. 100%. And the other thing is it's like, we are not coming,

like this is what street people don't understand with that argument is like, they're like, wow, You said, like, gay people talking about straight people is so fucked up. And it's like, okay, so you're coming to gay people and talking about how they're bad for being gay. Right. We're coming to straight people and talking about how you're bad for everything the fuck else you do. Yeah. For like, why you dress, how you eat, how you talk, how you make art.

Yeah, exactly. All of it's bad. So I actually think your sex is fine. I have no issue with you guys having sex with each other. It seems like you actually guys have a problem with that a lot of the time. It actually seems like you guys. like you guys have like huge problems with that specifically. You have a bigger problem with your sexuality than gay people do?

And let's be really clear about that. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. I'm like, it actually like that's like your number one struggle. Yeah. And I, and I don't give a fuck. Like I was like, I don't know what about me makes you think I'm going to give a fuck about joking about how boring straight people are.

It's fucking true. That's why I laugh so hard when someone said, let me just list the restaurants I've been to for an hour because that does it. That is what the fuck they do. Like I, we'd be doing that. If you need proof that straight people are boring, go to a straight wedding and see how every straight person is walking up to that event. Like they're about to have the biggest fucking night of their lives.

They're like, we're going to never forget this night. And I'm like, it ends at 11. They love a wedding. It ends at 11. Notice how I'm talking about them as if they're a third person because I don't relate to that. No. And anyway, street, and I've said before all of my friends are gay or part of the community in some

former fashion. Yeah. Me and my fiance are most, I'd say with the exception of like, maybe one or two people. I'm a token straight for most people. And a lot of times I'll talk to, especially my lesbian friends, I'll talk to them and they'll be like,

God, I always forget your straight. That really pisses me now. Like, they get annoyed at me. It's like the realization comes back and they're like, oh, I forgot about that. Fuck. Yeah, but that's, I think that's because you're not,

you're not doing it all in my face. You know what I mean? Like, you're not. Whatever you do behind closed doors is none of my business. I just don't want it shoved in my face. You're not making, but you make up for, you're doing all the right things to kind of fix it.

You know what I mean? You're seeing your problem and you're saying, I'm going to be funny. I'm going to be on. You've read the texts. Yes, I have the ancient texts. Absolutely. When sometimes it's so funny because sometimes when I look back, I'm like, everything I've ever loved has been universally loved by gay people, like, or women or both.

A hundred percent. And I was like in 2009 with Lady Gaga, like, had poker face and bad romance and all that shit. My sister and I were spending hours learning the choreography to bad romance and then showing other people. I was like 14 at the time, too. So I wasn't a child. No. I was a full-blown teen. And that really was, that really was the litmus test was when, when, um, Fame Monster came out.

That was really, I think when those Lady Gaga black and white photos dropped, that was really when it was like, so now there's two sides. And it's mostly gay and straight, but then there's some straight people who have said, I can see what's happening over here. She's cooking. Yeah, she's cooking. Yeah, she's cooking. She's cooking and I'm the ingredient.

It's like, I'm getting caught. Like, you know what I mean? Absolutely. I would, I'm curious though, like, what's the weird. or like worst experience you've had doing stand-up? What's the weirdest or worst experience I've had doing stand-up? Oh, I have one. This was bad.

This was bad. I once, before I wrote the show, before I had the hour that I'm doing now, I had a different idea for a different hour. Right. And it was about like a totally different topic. And it was like a totally different, like, it was kind of,

because with both of them, It was kind of like I had these like sort of like collection of jokes where I was like, oh, wait, I think I could expand this into this bigger thing. And so I had it with a different kind of set of material where I was like, I'm going to make it this big thing. And I did, I like announce. So I was working on it. And with both shows, what I did, I need like a deadline. Yeah. So I set a deadline where it's like I book a show that it's like, well, you have to like I booked a show out of theater.

So you have no choice. So it's like, well, people are buying tickets to this thing. So you have to have it done and written by then. Yeah. Otherwise, like, what the fuck? So the first time I did that was with this other show and I was working on it and I had the pieces. And I think because it was my first time putting together a full hour, I thought kind of similar to what we were talking about earlier. I like with the kind of like there's certain stuff I have to figure out on stage.

Yes. I overestimated how much needed to be figured out on stage and did not put enough of the pieces together or really look at it as a whole. Right. And so I was like, and I announced it as a work in progress show, which I also never do again because it's sort of being like, hey, come see this thing that might suck shit. And it's like just presented as good. Yeah, you're like, it's almost like keeping a back door for yourself, but it's it's handicapping you almost. Well, it gave me a back door that I then did fall through. Yes. It's like presented as a full show because I need, I need, I will take the easy way out if I don't take it away for myself. So I should have. I admire you for that. Yeah. That's a really, a really scary way to work. But what happened. was what happened was I booked the show and didn't really think to like like I didn't really think about like who that like anyone could buy tickets and I get there and it's like someone I'm kind of hooking up with someone I'm wanting to hook up with like some comedians I kind of respect friends I haven't seen in years and I'm like no no no this was supposed to all be strangers like you're

supposed to come to like the show and it's like good like now you guys want to support me Yeah. And then I got also something I have a story to tell you after about what had happened with one of these people. I would love to hear it. Which is also kind of like why my brain was feeling crazy at the time. I get on stage. I start doing the two openers were good. Like they did a great job.

Audiences warm. I get on stage. I like get 15 minutes into the show. And all of a sudden I just, it's like the audience was laughing. Like I wasn't bombing. but I knew I had to do 45 more minutes and I just had this moment where like my whole brain went quiet

and like I just heard myself go this doesn't make any fucking sense like I realized what like the thesis of the show was you're like bailing mid-set but it was like I was like don't bail on yourself but like it was like this conversation between me and myself where it was like no you're not bailing on yourself

this sucks like it was like it was like there was like it was like almost like I hadn't like like said enough of it out loud when I was writing it and as I was saying it I was like that doesn't make sense like it was like hitting but not in the right way and I was like I can't land this plane because I didn't build a plane it's over and so I just pivoted to kind of just doing like looser stand up for the whole thing and got upstage and afterwards I but and like the show wasn't that bad but I felt they need to apologize to every person I knew in the audience after and my friend

was like stop doing that people just what people were kind of laughing like you're You weren't that bad. And they were walking up to me and like, I'm so sorry about that. Like, it was like, you would have thought I had like, you would have thought that I had like talked about their mom specifically and said nothing nice. Like it was like, and they were like, stop doing that. Please. Please. Please.

Guys. That's my friend. Oh my. Yo, I fucking hate when you're talking shit about yourself and someone's like, don't talk about my friend that way. I'm like, don't talk to your friend that way. Shut up. Don't talk to your friend that way. Let me be means myself.

Do you have any Virgo in your chart? I know you said you're a Scorpio. No. Capricorn Rising though. It's that. It's not. It's like. Yeah.

The workhorse. I was going to say you're very, uh, you're, you're, you being able to like leave your body for a sank, watch yourself and critique your set live. Yeah. That's like, that's like my greatest. I feel like that's my greatest skill and my greatest detriment. Detriment. Determint.

Especially when I'm trying to like write like something like an essay or like right like writing. Yeah. I'm like I will edit so much as I'm writing because I'm criticizing it so much that'll be like, cool, three hours, one paragraph. Sick. And I was typing the whole time, but it's like, no, no, no. Like, it's just like, you're self-correcting. Yeah, instead of just like letting it be bad on the first and then going back.

And I think that's why I think that was the thing that drove me to improv and stand-up is like, I need the audience in front of me to like make it so that I just have to keep going. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. It's like kind of holding your own feet to the fire. Yeah. And committing to your work.

Yes. Because it is good and you know it's good. Yes. But then live, sometimes you're like, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it. Yeah, this is actively bad. I want to get off the stage. Are there any cities that you're like, never good, never fun, not going there again? Joel Cambooster told me he's like, oh yeah, Tucson, Arizona, never again.

Arizona as a whole. He's like, they've burned me multiple times. Yeah, I think that one, so the club, I want to be clear if anyone from the club sees this, I really enjoyed the club I worked at, but Indianapolis and I did not vibe. I was just not connecting with her. It was not, like, it was not the audience. The vibes were all. Yeah, people in the audience being like, oh, gay guy.

And I was like, oh, straight guy. Like, I don't know, like, just like that. And also it was like their NBA team was in, their NBA team was in the middle of the NBA finals while I was playing. Yeah, the Pacers. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. And she is straight.

And you saw that. And you saw that. And you saw it lie that. The Pacers. Bagget. They bleeped that part. I was like saying it worse. That's the other thing.

thing, that's the other thing that'll be really jarring about being around, being around when you are around straight people who aren't around gay people that, like, often, is you'll casually drop a faggot and they're like, oh. Because me and my friends are saying it all the time. You say in front of, like, a straight person who's not like around gay people a lot, you literally, it's, oh my God. Yeah, I literally, I was, when I was with Trixie last, she was telling me, she goes, do you say it?

Come on. Do you say it? And I was like, shut the fuck up. No, I don't. And I said, but I'll tell you this, every gay friend I have done. I know in love has always been like, you can say it. It's fine. Yeah. I was like, I'm not going to do that shit, you weirdo. Every time they said, I'm well, that's a test and I'm going to pass it. That's how I feel. But you're right. That does jar them. It is. Yeah. Yeah. I respect you for not

saying it. I think you can say it, but I think it's so she but I think it's so chic to not. Because if if you did, I know part of me, be like, so she chose to say it. Like there would be a part of me. Oh yeah. I know how you gays are. That's what. So I was like, no, you're not getting me, girl. It's sort of like when, like, it's sort of like when you're at a restaurant and you offer someone of a bite of something you don't want to share. Do you know what I mean? So like, do you want a bite of this cake?

And they're like, yeah, and you're like, fine. You know? Right. Sick. Sick. I actually really like the cake. You know what I mean? And you know that.

Yeah. I think that's fair. I think, uh, Indianapolis not viving with you kind of makes sense. Yeah. And no offense to the gay people who I saw in Indianapolis, I did really love. Also something really crazy happened, which was like, I, I try to go to a gay bar after every show to see like local gay bars in like the different i think it's like that's fun especially because like you know in new york and in like in chicago like the gay bars are like very fun but also like

they're in cities where like it's pretty coach to be gay all right you know what i mean going to like gay bars in like smaller cities where like that gay bar is like actually they're like haven yeah is so magical like it's such a better vibe i think that's wonderful not better i don't want because i love i love my gay bars in New York. It's just a different experience. It's just a different vibe and it has like this thing that's like really special and so I try to go to like one after every every show or every time I'm in a city just like see when to get the vibe. Yeah. And it's like something to do because sometimes you're in these cities like alone. You know what I mean? It's a fun like activity. But I went someone in in Indianapolis I was like asking it at the shows. I was like oh like what

the fun gay bars. I remember was like Greg's you got to go to Greg's. And so I put it in Google Maps and turns out someone had just saved their friend's house Greg in Google Maps. accidentally as a public location, just some house, like in the middle of nowhere. Perfect. Really far out of town. And the car, I was like, I like, it was driving. And I was like, I think this is wrong. And then I look at the photo and it's just a man's front door.

And I was like, turn the car around. No, I was like, I was like, Indianapolis doesn't want me here. I don't think I'll be going to Greg's. No, no, no. No, I don't think Greg is expecting me because he's a civilian. That's honestly a really funny joke. Yeah. My friend, one of the most iconic things my friend ever did was one time she was drunk.

my friend shout out Melissa Rich comedian in New York she was drunk and she thought it'd be funny to save her apartment as a kinkos in Google Maps and then people started calling her asking her to get shit printed and she felt bad

and she has a printer so she started printing shit for people for free and so like I'd be at her apartment and stuff would be printing and she'd like I got an order sorry I have people calling her cell phone my 5 to 9 after my 9 to 5th

she was on the phone and she was like no I can't do color you're like you know you don't have to do this. She's like, I put it in the maps. And whenever I would like go to Vizor, she's moved now. But when I would go to her place, I would type in Kinko's in Google Maps. Because also, the funny thing, the reason it also works is the only people that ever called her were old as fuck. Because Kinko's clothes like 20 years ago, it's FedEx office. I was going to say, what year did she do? It was always like some like old lowery side person who was like, I need a form. And you just like I got you, I got you, you. You know? And so it was my favorite thing. Giving back to the community. Absolutely. We love that. Yes. To your point about not viving with Indianapolis, like, do. Do you ever notice when you're touring, especially like if you're going to different cities, like how some cities love certain jokes, other cities, it doesn't hit as hard. The biggest, I would say the biggest litmus test is in my hour right now. I have like a probably like a 10 minute section where I go in pretty hard on marriage,

like the concept of marriage. Yeah. And like that shit hits different in the South. And then like, you know what I mean? Like that really like I have a like, I go in on like the concept like I don't think most married people are happy. And like up north people are like, yeah. And like in Raleigh people were like, what?

you know what I mean it gets like tight fast like don't like it's like there's like there's jokes that you like I leave full laugh breaks for in certain cities that when that and others it's like you actually have to say the punchline so fast they're gonna get so mad you know what I mean or like the second punchline you know what I mean where you kind of like reveal the other side of the joke you got to kind of sweet through it one time one time like I have this line in it where I say like have you ever met a happy married person and it's like in the context of like a larger joke but I say have you ever met a happy married person and one time this woman in the audience went yes uh did you laugh

Yeah. You're like, all right. I was like, ooh, it seems like you needed that. Yeah, tears in her eyes. Yes, of course I have. Of course. Straight person. Straight person.

See, you can't laugh. That's what I'm saying. That's why I know you're straight. Yeah. No sense of humor. Yeah. Absolutely. When I was touring last year, we did like three shows in Texas.

And I remember in Dallas, I, for some reason, I don't even remember. Oh, because we watched this movie on the tour, but we watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes on the tour bus. And we love Planet of the Apes, that universe for some reason. We really enjoy those movies. So, like, we watched it. It was kind of on my brain. Yeah. So I kept making this joke.

I made it one time in the beginning, like, in the opener for probably, like, the first 20 minutes. I made, like, apes together, strong. Right? Like, because I was telling them, that's you guys. When I'm up here, you guys, apes together, strong. You just copy what I tell you to do because you're good noodles. And it killed. It killed every time I said it to the point where I kept going back to the well, right?

like throughout the entire hour. Then the next night, I think we went to Houston. And in Houston, within the first 20 minutes again, I'm thinking not too far from Dallas, right? Obviously, they're loving chimp jokes. So then the next one I go, Apes together, strong. Not one.

I said, wow, perfect. Put that on the shelf. Not going to touch that again. Oh, yeah. Didn't make one more ape joke the rest of the tour. I've had a joke bomb so bad that I've never done it again. And it killed for a year. I had a joke that killed for a year.

And one time it bombed so bad that I literally went, I've never I I said the joke the audience changed so succinctly so intensely so suddenly and I went I like stopped and I went I have to be honest with you an audience has never reacted to me this way I'm actually kind of still processing and they all kind of laughed so I thought okay I'm gonna now keep going with the joke

because they're back right back they were like and we hate you again so you're going back to that joke yeah and I've not done it in like two years and I have a couple of friends I like I like that joke to it again I'm like it's dead it's locked away That's in the Disney vault. I'm never touching her. It can't happen again. It can't happen again.

No. Recently when I did the 20 minutes set, I worked in some jokes about Love Island because Love Island is so popular right now. Are you watching it? So Love Island is one of those shows that I absorb through osmosis. Me too. From Twitter and from friends. Same.

And then I have one really good friend, Olivia, shout out, who all sometimes, she's really good sometimes right before I got on the treadmill, I text. I'd be like, can you like explain to me this? And then she'll get me like a 20 minute voice note. Love. Press play. I love friends like that. That's like all my friends.

Because I watch the same like three, four things over and over again. Don't diagnose me. I don't know what it is, but that's just what I do. Can I ask what they are? Oh, yeah. I watch Bob's Burgers is in my rotation right now. Modern Family was in my rotation for a very long time. I think Modern Family is one of the funniest sitcoms ever written for TV.

Yeah, it's hard for me to watch now because I'm like sometimes when I've been like a little too excited in a Gen Z personal comment on my videos. Come on, Cam from Modern Family and that is hard. And it feels triggering. I'm like, that's not good. I hate that. I had the office in there for a minute. I know a lot of people hate that show for whatever reason.

A lot more people like it. It's just that the people who hate it are loud. And that's true. And you know what I think too? I'm like, I get if it's almost like the similar to friends where I'm like, the people who love it are awful sometimes. And I think that clouds people's judgment of it. You know what I'm saying? So those are like kind of my things.

What about you? Do you watch new stuff? Are you more of a Twitter? I'm not much of a rewatcher except for. sex in the city. I recently was brought two, I had had a two milligram weed soda. And my friend just casually texted me a TikTok that was like an edit of Carrie Bradshaw and David by Lord off the new Lord album. Right. Full pressure tears. I've watched it 60 times. I can't stop watching this TikTok. Can I tell you, I've never actually watched Sex in the City all the way through.

Because you don't connect to it. You don't like it. No, I've just never. I think it was like I was young at the time. it was popping. And then I just haven't like really even ventured towards it. So okay, I have a similar kind of similar trajectory, which is that I didn't watch it at all because we didn't have HBO when I was a kid. Right. Same. So could. And I also and like I knew that the TBS one was edited. So I was like, I'm not watching the edited one. And then when I moved to New York, I worked my like, I was a bartender until I was able to be a full-time comedian. And a lot of like two of the main restaurants I worked out for like years were really popular brunch restaurants in like lower Manhattan. And And that was like like 2014 to 2018, 19, like white woman brunch culture.

That's my Vietnam. Do you know what I mean? Like that's me in the trenches. Absolutely. And those I kind of associated those women with people who had moved to New York City to kind of do their sex in the city cosplay. Right. Live their Carrie Bradshaw fantasy. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean like we had like and like and they would say as much. You know what I mean? And so I had this like profound resentment of the show. And I was like, fuck that show. Like, I hate what it's done to the city. I hate what it's done. And then my ex when we were still together during the pandemic, he was like, you, I actually,

oh, I know what it was. I got a job doing a podcast that was like about New York City restaurant and nightlife culture. And it was like my ex and a couple of friends were like, it is so influential on that that you kind of have to watch it if you're going to have a podcast we were talking about it. And I was like, yeah, I don't watch it for research. Three episodes in, I was like, you said, you know what? I judged too quickly. Oh, and I was like.

And now it's like, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like leaving conversations at a party to be like, hey, are you talking shit on Carrie? What's up? Like, I go over. I'm like, I'm like, I have a pen. Like, I'm like defending it to. I think it is like, I've met Michael Patrick King twice. I like adore that man. Yeah. I like love that show so much now. One of my, one of my besties, she recently watched it for the first time and she's like, you got to get into it, bitch. And I think what's interesting is I feel like, because it's like six seasons. I feel like there's no like, I remember like with like Schitt's Creek. Everyone was, which I haven't watched, but everyone would be like, everyone would be like, you got to get to the end of season two and then it clicks and you're in love with it. Which like is, and then they like love all of it. But I remember that was like everyone said like there's just one specific point where if you get there, you'll fall in love with it. I feel like with sex in the city, it's that click moment is there for everyone, but it's at a different point in the show. Like when you fall in love with it. Okay. Because there's like different aspects of what it does in terms of like talking about relationships and friendships.

Right. When it hits the one that hits for you, you're like, oh, fuck. I saw one of my friends on TikTok recently do. like what I thought is she's a comedian so she was it was really funny but it was like very profound honestly when she's she had that picture of from sex in the city where Carrie's at Mr. at Mr. Big's store and she has the top hat on and so like yeah exactly and it's like the cringe to end all cringe right like but she was saying in the video she goes I love to sit on a high horse and judge Kerry because she does the most humiliating things in the world but she was

saying she said but that being said that's how I used to see her Now I think to myself, you have to be like another level of confident to do shit like that. Like anything now she's got an admirer in me. Go. Don't you feel like I go back and watch a TikTok I posted three years ago? And I'm like, that's Carrie at the door baby. Yes. Like it's that's what it is.

Yeah. And she was saying like cringe. Maybe she's ahead of people because she's let go of being cringe and she's just fully being herself. And maybe that is cringe to some people. You have to live like being empathic towards other people and caring about other people. but you also have to live for yourself and live for your own POV

and not live, like you have to be kind to other people and be considerate of other people, but you also don't have to live for how they perceive you. Like you have to live in. Yeah. You're getting passionate about Carrie? Yeah, I'll get hot right now. It's crazy.

I just, I love it so much. Never watch the second movie. Drew. Never watch the second movie. Noted. And here's the thing, you don't fucking need to. It is like inconsequential to the plot of like the, it's like, you know what I mean?

How many are there? Is there three? There's, it's like, there's six seasons of the show, two movies, and then, and just like that. That's right. That's what I'm thinking of. And that's the spinoff show, or is it just an extension of the show? It's, I mean, I guess you can call it either. It's like, it picks, it, you join in with the characters, mine is Samantha, like 20 years later or whatever it is.

Gotcha. Yeah. All right. Well, I might have to lock in. Honestly, I've been seeing a lot of signs lately that I should watch that show. Yeah. You may have convinced me. I wonder, do you know what I wonder is one of the things that maybe has, because you've been in a healthy relationship for so long.

Do you know what I mean? Because, like, so much of the show is about, like, dating and how much of a nightmare it is, and you've been over here with this, like, wonderful man this entire time. So I'm like, I don't know. I don't really see myself. All your friends are you're, like, you're, like, cuddled up. And I'm like, I don't really see what people see in that show. It's like, yeah, I wonder why.

I wonder why. Honestly, and I saw a lot of people say, too, it's different. It's a different experience watching it when you're, like, in your late 20s, 30s. like it's a different experience watching it because it's like it feels a lot more real when you're watching it. Whereas like when you're younger, you're like, oh, that would be crazy. Yeah. I think that's also part of it is that I started watching it because I'm like a little older than you. I started watching it when I was 32. So I think I started watching when I was like 30, which is like right around the age care is when it starts. And so I was like, oh, this, even though it's like a

completely different New York City. Right. Like than what I live in now. I was like, oh, like, but this time in your life I understand. Would you say that's your favorite show of all time? Or do you have a fave? Well, there's different ones. Like, Charmed raised me. You have to understand that. Like, I never watched Charmed, but I do, I've seen it like, obviously I've watched episodes, but I've never watched it.

Charmed raised me. That's, like, in my DNA. That's in my, like, cells. Right. And, like, there's other shows, like, dramas and stuff, but I would say Sex and City is one of them. And it's the one I rewatch the most. It's my most, like, comfort show.

What are other shows you like? Buffy is a classic. That one's huge. When you said Charmed, I was literally thinking you probably love Buffy, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is the thing is that every gay guy loves Buffy, and Buffy is like the cinema is the more, like scholarly one to like, you know what I mean?

They're charmed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think so. Like, because it has, it's a little bit more highbrow, to be honest with you. Right. Charmed is a little bit more like CP English. You know what I mean? The honors, you know.

That makes sense. But I, I fuck with both of those. Those were like big for me when I was young. I love, wait, what's the other show I'm obsessed with right now? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. the pit. I fucking love the pit. I love that fucking show.

I'm going to be in the pit. You and we both. I'm like literally, they were like this one, they were like the next season takes place on the 4th of July. I was like, let me play a gay guy, I got to get by a firecracker. Like,

like let me play a gay guy that fly me to, I get, let me be a gay guy in Peatown that gets so fucked up by a firecracker. They met a firecracker. I'm dead serious. The closest hospital is in Pittsburgh. Please. show has every it is my favorite show i have never me and my friends me and my like one of my best

friends we sat down to have dinner and just like we had like the broku tv on and we were like let's watch something and it was the week the pit came out maybe even the day and we like should we just fucking watch this and then 20 minutes in i have not touched my food i like look over him i'm like is this the best show you've ever seen and he was like yes we're experiencing a moment then on i have i ran into langdon in the park did you really yes and i've i've been in the room with at this point like a lot of So he's like, I'm friends with some famous people. I'm cool around celebrities. I was like, I want the pit.

He was like, what? I was like, and it was the week where, spoiler alert for the pit, it was the week the episode came out where you find out that he has the drugs. Girl, gagged me. And my dumb ass, my dumb ass. So I go, this is so embarrassing. He's like, my dumb ass thought he was off the show. Like, I thought he was fired, you know, because it was like, they kick him out of the hospital. You know what I mean?

I was like, he's toast. So he comes, I come up to him. Like, I love you on the pit. The pit's so great. Like, it's really awesome. Like, I think you're so great. Like, it's just such a great show. I'm so happy for you guys.

And he was like, I'm so happy. I did not say that. That would have been worse. But I was like, I'm so happy for you. No, I didn't say that. I was like, it's so good. And then he goes, he goes, oh, did you watch this episode? And I was like, yeah.

And then I went, I'm sorry. Like, thinking he had lost his job. That's actually him. And then two episodes later, he was like back. And I was like, right. Right. Sorry about that. I loved that fucking show.

I missed a doctor show. I love a doctor show. I was a Graze fan for a minute. Yeah. But then Grace gets to a point where I'm like, oh, just blow up that hospital. But it's so realistic. Oh, just explode it and start over. I don't, I can't do it anymore.

The pit is so realistic. It's so funny. It's so emotional. Like, you laugh, cry and be like, like, scream at the gore. I have a theory about it. Oh, please. I think that, I think one of the reasons it's so good and it's so successful. is because there's so much happening at all times and they're jumping so much.

It's TikTok brain. That's actually a really good theory. It is literally moving at the pace of swiping. Like 2X speed. Like late. My sister jokes all the time. She's like sometimes like we were talking about Love Island. I go, have you locked into it?

Are you going to watch it? Because she's kind of my source for a lot of things. So I'm like, you watch it and tell me. And she was like, I tried, but like I need to watch it in 2X. Like I can't. I can't sit there. She's like my brain is so rodded. I have to speed it up.

I know. That's actually such a good point, though, about the pic, because it is so high-paced. That's, I genuinely think that is it. It's so disturbing when you catch yourself watching something on 2x speed with it minimize so you can read a Wikipedia article, Y or 2XC. And you have music playing at the same time. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's so bad. In front of a TV that's playing it. It's literally like, what is it going to look like when I'm 40? Not good. It's not looking great. No, it's not good. I'm going to need, like, the chair to vibrate and, like, the house to be on fire. Just to be like, I feel something.

It's so crazy. Dude, even with the pit, with that spoiler, with that Dr. Langdon thing on the pills, when that, the mean, like, what's it? What do they call it? The resident. The girl that was like when she was ratting him out. I was like, why is everyone believing this bitch? I was like, hey, fuck that girl.

I was so, she won me over by the end of the season, but I was so anti-Santos at that time. I literally, like, and everyone in the room turned on me because we started watching it as, like, with a friend group. I was like, if he's going to be in a doctor on a couple of pills. Hills, let him do it. Oh, oh, oh. Everyone was like, what the fuck? He's doing active surgery on Benzos.

And I was an apologize, too, because I was like, well, clearly he's doing a good job. Well, that's that. I was like, did he fuck up? Did he fuck up? No. Let's think about this. I was like, I literally was like, he only got caught because she's nosy. You would have never known otherwise.

I was like, I was. A defender. No. Oh, I was. I was, and you know what show is good when it has me. in the paint for a straight white man fighting. I'm literally going against a queer woman of color

being like she's annoying and she's trying to too hard. For real. Live long enough to see myself become the villain. No, literally. For real. Literally. I was so balls deep in that show too. I was like, this is the best. I felt like an old man when I was like,

now that's television. That's how I felt watching every episode of the fifth. I was like, yeah. And then I became that person that was annoying at parties where it's like you could see like, like someone would bring it up and then I'd sort of come back to you like an hour and a half later and they're in a corner being like I want to talk to someone else and I just been talking about the pit for so long. Are you guys talking about the pit? Yeah.

I remember when it ended I said I can't believe the pit is over and my roommate went I can't wait for you to be normal about it. Well now you can be normal. It's perfect. Yeah. Now I can be normal until in season two and then I'm back baby. We're so fucking back. Yeah. Someone, a friend of mine posted like like tweeted like got an audition for the pit and I was like,

okay. Well, I don't care. I don't care that something good happened to you. It should have happened to me. Literally. I do have some fun facts about you. Would you like to hear some? Yeah.

But hard pivot. Okay. Well, this one just says you grew up in rural Vermont, which we already talked about. And that you used to be a bartender at a restaurant in New York. How did you like being a bartender? I loved it. Besides the brunch, her horrifying part. So I started bartending my sophomore year of college.

Okay. And I did it. I was at a pub in England because I did my sophomore year in England. And then I moved back and bar. attended all of college and in college I like loved it like I it was so fun and I was like I will I would be happy to bartend the rest of my life and like when I moved to New York I was like completely like blind like like confidence where I was like oh I have the best of both worlds because if I bartend forever I'll be fine but I'm going to try to become a comedian like an actor like I was like I'm

going to go for comedy and acting but I'm going to bartend at the same time and like that it's fine because like if I fall back on bartending I'm still doing a job I love right and then I I realized how hard actually being like a full-time bartender is and like building a life and like wanting to retire and like moving up to make because like I was making in college it was like I was making a certain amount of money and then but I would make like 200 bucks a night and I was like in a college town paying cash for beer and I was like one of the richest person in America. Yeah totally. You know what I mean? That's why I fell as a server too. Yes. It's the same thing. And then I moved to New York and saw like realize that people were like moving up in jobs and we get promotions and make

more money and like that and like you might need to build and realizing how expensive the world was. the cost of living going up. Oh, fuck. Yeah. And so then it pivoted where I liked the act of like doing it. Like I enjoyed being behind a bar. I enjoy making cocktails. I enjoy like socializing.

I really enjoyed the rest of the bar staff and the restaurant staff like being part of like that. But it very much felt like something that I was taking my energy away from like my dreams. So then it was like stressful. Yeah. So it had like this. It was like a very fraught relationship. And like a lot of my New York friends are restaurant people. still.

Yeah. So it was really hard right at the end when I was starting to work a lot as a comedian, but not necessarily make a lot of money. And so I still needed to bartend, but I didn't have time where like one of my best friends who was also my manager was like, hey, like, you have to work a shift this weekend. I'd be like, but I can't. But you kind of have.

It's your job. And so it was like there was like a tough transition. The joy is kind of being sucked out of it because it's taking away from your dream. Yes. But then once I got out of it, now I look back on it with like a lot of love. And occasionally like my friend will be like, hey, like, can you come bartend tonight? I'm like, yeah.

Because like my, like if someone calls out sick or something, I'll go like made or d a restaurant for a night because all my friends work in restaurants. What's your, what's your best drink that you make? Do you have a specialty? I'm, I would say I can kind of make anything, but, um, because I did like a lot of different kinds of bartending, but I would say like, I do make like a good martini because I drink them a lot. So I know.

That's, yeah, I would say. I've never had, I've never had like. What's your drink? I've, I'm honestly a champagne girl. Like I just. You and I are really a line. Is that if I always say if they were like you can only have one alcohol for the rest of your life champagne Yes because it's because you it tastes good you get you get drunk get fucked up and then you don't feel that shitty the next day

Yeah some people say it does make them feel shitty the next day I'm like not the good stuff Yeah Sorry Yeah No I'm like I recently too I think within the last like year I was like way after every the craze But like I was really fucking with an apparel sprits because I fuck with the champagne But I did it way after everybody was like, you got to try this drink. I'm like, yeah, I'll try it when everyone's done.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was kind of sick of it. They're great, though. They're great. Yeah. It's also funny where like drinks, I always think it's funny when like drinks get trendy because I'm like, it's not like, it's not like fashion where it's like part of it. You want to like look, you want to be in line with like the current trends so you don't

look out of place or you're like on the trends. I'm like, the drink tastes the same at any time. So like, what do you mean you liked it for the summer when everyone else? liked it and that you know what I mean I'm being so antiquated I'm getting a spicy marguerite I'm like if you like that drink it I don't really get I was like straight white girls were really on to something with that apparel sprits yeah they were on to that shit I said this is good this shit is delicious that shit is good it's like a grown up Shirley temple to me

absolutely I'm feeling it yeah but I have recently been wanting to try like a dirty martini because I really love vinegory kind of taste yeah oh you would love that so I figured I was like maybe I try that because espresso martinis aren't my bad we'll do We have to. Yes. My espresso martinis are not really my vibe. I've tried them many times. Are you a coffee person, though?

I do love coffee. Oh, okay. I think it just don't love coffee flavored alcohol or anything. I respect that. It's a little too heavy for me. Yeah. I think you would like a martini then because similar, because they are typically, even like the briny ones are like refreshing. They're like bright.

That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean? What are you, what can you tell about a certain drink? Are there any drinks when you're like, oh, yeah, of course you drink that. it's more like I would say it's less it was less like what drink you had and like how you ordered it okay you know what it's like ordering a ordering a dirty martini is not like bad yeah and like doesn't really say much about you but someone being like give me the fucking nastiest martini you've ever fucking made in your life is like what are you trying to prove do you know what I mean like there's something like

you could tell when something because like dirty martini's I think I don't know if it happened over here but like that that was like a big thing in New York like right towards the NMI bartending and people were obsessed with being like being like can you take a fucking shit in my martini like you know like just yeah like as many olives as you can give me and being like down girl like stop you know what I mean chill or like like like men be like just being like old fashioned and it's like that there's like a certain like performance to it it was more about like how you would perform the order than it was an actual drink that's too I like I would love so hard for like some guy walk up and I'd be like pinocrigio like you know like that would be so yeah you love a pinot yeah I don't mind a pinot you know

Yeah. I don't really love red wine. I do, I prefer a white. I do too. But I have like an appreciation for all of it pretty much. Yeah. I feel like. Yeah, I feel like red wine makes me want to shit myself. So that's hard on. Some people have a hard time digesting it. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. That's what I don't know what that is. That's what I feel about whiskey too. I'm like. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of poop of myself. So I got to stay away. I so respect that. Yeah. The first time I ever threw up from drinking was from, what was it? It was that Tennessee. The screwball. Oh, no. No, it was like, it was, yeah, Jack, but it was the honey jack. Yeah, specifically. I remember taking that shot and I was already super fucked up. I remember taking that shot and then thinking of myself, yeah, that's going to fuck me up. I got to do something about that. I'm probably going to have to vomit in a couple minutes. So, and I did. There's nothing more embarrassing than like vomiting from drinking after the age of like 27. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? At the time, thankfully, I was like 20. It's only, do as I say, not as I do. It's only happened to me like one time, but I was like, no one can know about this. No, that's true because when I did get like really fucked up after 27 or whatever, I remember it was like a while ago. I don't get drunk like that anymore because again, I pay the price. But I remember I was at my fiance's parents' house.

We got so fucked up. And then I- Can that home will sneak up on you because you're just like pouring. Girl, I know. And we're having so much fun. I remember most of the night. I remember coming back online and I was laying down in the downstairs half bath, the one that everybody's using. I just locked the door.

And then his mom was knocking on the door and she's like, hey, are you okay? I don't do it. And then I sat up. I was like, yeah, no, I'm good. Me pretending like I've only been in there for a couple minutes. It had probably been like 30. And then I went offline again. Don't know what happened after that.

When I came back online again, both me and my fiance were asleep in the bed, but I was under the covers. He was on top of them. My shoes were on underneath the blanket and his shoes were on. to. No. And I was like in fully in my same clothes, same makeup, same shoes. I, I had to late. And I was like, why are my boots on? I'm playing in bed. What the hell happened here? That's, that's really tough. My last time was two or three Christmas ago. I was at my family's, my uncle through a Christmas party. Love. And yeah, it was cute. But, and I just, like, wasn't paying attention and just, like, drinking all night. And then, like, on that side of the

family, me and my sister are, like, older than most of the other cousins. Um, because and so all this and so now that like I'm 32 all of the cousins are like 21 22 but they want so like I want to be the cool cousin that like still hangs out with them so I'm like yeah I'll play king's cup and two shots and it's like why no you were drinking wine like an adult all night and now like they're just now starting to drink at 10 and you've been drinking and now you're going to do the drinking game with them so I like blacked out playing a drinking game with 21 year old like absolutely like you're old enough to be a senator so maybe sit down like you can run for press you not yet 35 down not yet it's all the same to them but it's like but i apparently

i fell asleep at the at the coffee table with a glass of red wine between my legs like this and then woke up in the morning and was like i'm gonna vomit but i don't want anyone to know and so i quietly went downstairs like they were making breakfast like every it's like also one of those mornings where like i'm so hungover i need the hospital and everyone else is like we're good Like what? Like, oh, it was definitely me. Oh, yeah, girl, when I, if I drank like how I did when I was 21, I would have to be in the hospital. A hundred percent. And the psych ward right after. And so I quietly, like, tried to go downstairs, but I was like, I'm going to vomit, but I didn't want anyone to know.

And then I go and my sister is in the bathroom. And as, so I'm waiting for her, like, being like, you need to get out of the bathroom, bitch, you need to get out of the bathroom. And then she comes out. And you know how, like, sometimes, like, I think she was slightly hungover. So, you know when, like, you and her sister, like, immediately are in a fight for no reason. Yes. I think I was, like, waiting too close to the door. for her. So she opens the door and right as she does, I like start to vomit in my mouth and I'm like, and she's like, what? And I can't talk. So I'm like, boom. And she's like, don't, she's like, use your words. And I'm like, and she's like, don't wave your hand in here. Like,

I'm dying, I'm dying. So then I start pushing her in vomiting. And she's like, yeah. And then I start going in the bath. And then as I'm going, I just hear her go upstairs. And she's like, so Jake's downstairs and he's throwing up. I was like, so now everyone knows. Oh, perfect. So my whole plan went to shit. And it is Christmas Day. Because the party is on Christmas Eve. Mind you, Christmas.

Yeah. Mind you, Jesus is upstairs waiting for me. Mind you, my mom wants to take pictures and matching pajamas. Get that. Yeah. Let me see what other fun facts I have about. I forgot we were going through these. Yeah, it says you used to perform a live comedy show called Queer Therapy Live.

Oh, my God. That's a blast. Yeah. And how was that? That was good. There was this, basically, there's this venue that's still there, but I think they've kind of pivoted away from this. But there was this venue in New York that was doing this thing where they wanted to, like, have all their shows be a fusion of, um, comedy and science. Okay.

Absolutely. Right. Um, sort of like a pre-pandemic sort of like, we like, um, we have like the margins to be experimental in like the performance space. Okay. And so the premise of the show was that I would do, it was all gay performers. And then there'd be like a gay, I think, like, like, a gay, I think, like, like. mental health expert, I think it was my show, like gay mental, that would talk, do like a presentation on like queer like psychology. Okay. I only did like, I think four of them before the

before the pandemic hit, which was probably good because most queer psychology is sad. You know what I mean? It's like the effects of like being oppressed your entire life. And then I'd like, okay, so that was Dr. Todd. Next up, Drew for 20 minutes to stand up. The comic would come up on the stage like, they get me like, bitch, what the fuck am I walking into? Everybody has tears in their eyes. Like literally. they're like, so it was, we were on the cusp of like a rebrand of the show when the pandemic hit, but yeah, it was, it was me trying some stuff out. That was like, that was like when I was starting to try to pivot to stand up right before the pandemic hit. Okay. We love that, though.

I think it's a very funny concept, I say. Yeah, yeah. It's one of those things where like I actually now look back on the memories of telling people what the pitch of the show was. And like, now I'm like, oh, that's what that person looks like when they lie. Do you? Because they think, oh, my God, that's such a fun idea. and I was like, yeah, it is. And now I'm like, that's what they look like when they lie.

You're all. I'm surrounded by fake friends. Nobody told me anything. It says you were in an improv group at UCB called Funky Hard Beats. Oh my God, yes. I was. How was that? That was good.

Those were some of my best friends. I love all those people. We were, that is a funky hard beats is a Britney Spears quote. She said she loves songs with funky hard beats. So we called ourselves that. and we were like just doing a bunch of dumb shit on stage. There was like a show called. There's a show at UCB called Cage Match.

Okay. Which was like it was on Thursday nights and it was like two teams would each do a set and then the audience for like 25 minutes. And then the audience votes on who won and then they get to come back the next week and do the show and face off a new team. So you could like keep doing the show as long as you kept winning. Right. And that was like how that team became a UCB team was we like won that a bunch. But like I was so. kept dominating.

Yeah, but I was so addicted to improv at the time that I truly thought, like, I was like, I'm going to get recognized on the train. Like, I was like, I'm in New York celebrity. Like, I'm winning cage wrench at UCB. Like, I literally thought I was God on earth for this shit. Like, like, I would be like, we would win. And I literally like going around the theater and like, let's go. Like, just like, I went an improv comedy competition.

Humiliating. Taking that shit real fucking serious. Yeah. Yeah. I was, oh, I was not. But everyone at UCB did back then, like, before the pan. Because it was kind of like a cult a little bit. still like it like improv just like has that quality to it I think people are so addicted to it

every one of my comedian friends has been like yeah it was a something I did take way too seriously but it was it was that serious it was I remember one time I remember one time when I was like really in it at UCB I was like we were like hanging out with non-useb it was like my my like other friends from college and stuff and we were like at a party we were like drinking and I was like talking to someone new like a new friend I had just made about like theory of improv performance and my best friend overheard it and just turned and went, shut the fuck up.

Do you think they want to hear that right now? And I look, the person is like drowning. They're like, that's nice. But I was like, there's no world where someone wouldn't find this fascinating. I was like, there's no world. I honestly really love that about you.

I love how intensely you absorb things. I think that's a beautiful thing. It is like when I I think it's like the storyteller thing. in me where it's like if I'm like passionate on something it's I have to talk about it you're telling me you don't care about this yeah yeah yeah yeah I've never been chill about anything in my entire life it's I've never been chill about anything in my entire life and it's true of like dating like I tried like if I get like excited about something I'm like don't go crazy and then it's like I'm like you went crazy

and then guess what I went crazy yeah and then guess what and reader he went crazy it says you made vogue's list of eight funniest accounts on TikTok yeah and they didn't tell me Vogue didn't tell you. Vogue didn't tell me. He said he'll see it. And then someone, my mom texted me. My mom, I think at one point, got bored one day. And so she Googled me to look at what her son had done.

Yeah. And she was like, did you know that Vogue made you top eight, whatever, like three, like two years ago? Like, it was so long after. I was like, I was like, no one told me. I was shocked that no one told me. No, that's a huge deal. Especially in Vogue. I know.

I was like so excited. And I was like, I was like so excited. And I was like, I would have. love to have celebrated this when it happened. Hey, thanks Vogue. It was like, and it was like, thank you for seeing me, but you didn't call me. Like, it was like the most like. Yeah.

It's the party all over again. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. All over again. All over again. And then it says you have a new weekly podcast called Walk with me here. Yeah.

On Substack. I do. Tell me about the pod. Um, I wanted to, I, so I have it on Substack, um, which I've really, really been enjoying. I had, I've done a few podcasts before and they've always been fun, but they've always been fun. but they've been, I wanted to kind of do something a little bit smaller that was just like me talking directly to like people who wanted to hear what I had to say. I was getting, I'm sure you can kind of relate to this.

I was getting really frustrated with the algorithm and feeling like, because a lot of my videos tend to be a kind of silly stuff. Yeah. And I was noticing like if I talked to, if I went too far into talking about being gay or too far into being politics, the videos would just get completely suppressed. And I would still make them. I guess I wanted to talk about those things. But I was like, oh, if I can create a, if I can go to like Southern. stack and people can subscribe to this and then like it will be sent directly to them non-alorithmically. No, that makes a lot of sense. I was like, I think I want to just try that and

see. And I think that's cute. What a cute ass name because that's what you always do in your videos. Yeah, people are walking. Yeah, that was the idea. I love that. That was the idea and I thought it would be fun. And it's been really fun. Like, it's really nice to have like, like, a group of people that listen to the show and like, it's growing and they, and like, they're sending messages and people can email into the show. And so it's been very fun. And it's also very surreal. to like, it's kind of extension of to doing the videos and stuff, but it is crazy to talk for an hour and be like, people want to hear that.

But like they do. You're fucking telling me, I know. Yeah. I told people, I've said before like, because one time I got a comment, this was like years ago. Obviously, I've been doing this for fucking ever. But like, years ago I got a comment. They were like, yeah, I've heard that story before. I'm like, you try talking for 180 episodes, bitch. You're going to

start repeating yourself. It's like, what do you want me to do? I don't have another life to pull from. And also, this person hasn't heard it. So I'm going to tell them my story. No, it is true. I'm like, get the laugh regardless. But I think that's beautiful. And is it more of like a serious kind of tone? No, it's not.

It's definitely funny. Or you can expand a little bit more. Basically, yeah. So I basically, the way I've been making the show is that I just have a running notes app for every week. And then I sit down on Wednesday and go through the notes app of like what's happened to me that week and the thoughts I've had.

And I just kind of like structure it. Like, I'll talk about this first, this first, this. And then I, and like if people have commented or emailed in, like, I'll figure out the order.

And then I just kind of like talk about the things I want to to talk about. So it's no, it's very funny. It's definitely comedic. Um, but it's more able just to go long. I feel you. Talk about whatever I want. Not worry about getting censored by the algorithm. Totally. And tell and it's a lot more because I love telling stories, it's also like getting to tell longer stories and not doing like story time. Like I don't know. It feels more conversational. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Well, yeah, you're telling me. That was another reason why I wanted to do the podcast in the first place because I was like, believe it or not, I got a lot more yap in me. Yes. Believe it or not.

Well, and it's like, I think when you do TikTok, you know how to make the videos that are going to do well. And there's so much that goes into that that is like not organic to how we actually are. Totally. That I was like, I'm sure because when people probably meet you in real life, they're like, oh my God, that's so different from what I thought. Totally. Totally. I also get a lot of people who meet me who don't know who I am or don't know that I'm a comedian are very shocked when they find out because I'm like not as yeah, as I like am online. I was in Provincetown. I was in Provincound at a dinner party. and this guy was we had been talking for like at this point like an hour and a half yeah and this guy was like

and what do you two do I was sitting with my best friend and he was like oh I manage a restaurant and he goes and you and I go oh I'm a comedian he goes look you haven't been funny at all oh damn okay I said well how much time do you got I got a closing 10 I said did you pay me no shit what the fuck it's crazy well and that's also I think that speaks to like how people look at comedy like as a whole because they're like well I could do that like the way that they look at it even i just had homes on and homes was the funniest person ever if i could be around them 99% of the time i think my life would be there for like homes and i will like do face times where we like or like for like an hour and a half and i'll just be like walking around like it's like i'll just be walking around new york and she'll just like be in bed and it like it is i get off of it and i'm like well my abs hurt from laughing i've also cried three times like it's one of

those like one of the funniest people who's ever lived but when I was talking to them they were saying I was talking to some jazz musicians and they were saying like oh you know like we both have a lot in comment like they were just bonding with these jazz musicians out of place and then they said that one of the musicians told them that it's funny because when people see me performing jazz right because they were saying it's actually improv of music which I love improv and I was like you dork like we're laughing about it and then they said that it's crazy though because the jazz musician noticed that nobody would come up to me and say, I could do that. Oh, I, I play jazz all the time, but they will do that for comedians. Totally. You know what's funny is like, I've been known to tell a funny joke or two. Or you get a lot of, I think the one I get even more than that is like, I've been thinking about trying it out or I've always wanted to try it out. You know what I mean? I told home to see. I was like, Serena Breyer said when men say, I think I want to try it. And then she goes, why? Why would you want to do that? Why would you ever? don't don't it is crazy because every once in a while the least charismatic person I've ever met my life is like I've been meaning to get up on stage but but then it is crazy but there is also I will say something you learn doing stand-up is that there is I think most stand-ups are fun in like the especially like a lot of like the ones that we know and hang out with yes but like you will meet actual like cyborgs backstage who will just be so there's nothing like it is a full persona on stage that does not exist and when they get what you watch them like and walk out on stage and then they come off and I'm like you scare me more than

most that's very true and they'll be like thank you for me on the show and they walk out I'd like someone follow them like I don't I don't know what they're going to do but it's bad yeah I'm nervous yeah because I'm like I'm like I've always like making people laugh you at one point decided to get good at it and you weren't before and kudos to you at working hard but I don't think you should work on it if it hasn't come natural to you for a bad reason yeah because it speaks to evil do you know I'm totally. I totally mean.

Because I'm like, I'm like, look, I wish that sometimes I don't actually wish this. But it's like, I'm like, my personality is so obnoxious. I kind of had to make it my career. Fucking same. Do you know what I mean? Yes. And there are days where I'm like, wow, what would it be like to have a career that isn't completely wrapped up in my personality and identity?

Do you know what I mean? Yes. Like, that could be amazing. Yes, absolutely. But I didn't have a choice. No, me too. And I'm like, when people have a choice. choice, I'm like, you don't have to make this choice.

Like, you can just go do the normal thing. Go be a dentist. Yes. That's your path. Go be a dentist. We need, we need more dentists in the world. Well, because I also think, I think, I think of, the thing I'm thinking about so much now is like, so much of when we were little kids is they would, they talk to you about like, what do you

want to be when you grow up as like being a dentist will be your monolithic existence. Right. Or like being, like, and it's like, you know, your profession makes up who you are. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get up older and you find out like everyone's just trying to make money to go out to eat at the end of the night, get drinks with their friends, and go on vacation. Yeah, exactly.

And then when you're a gay guy, it's like, everyone has a job that seems like kind of fake, but they're all making $200,000 a year and doing it. And I'm like, I'm like, I could have done that. Like now, you know what I mean? It's like, I love my career. I love my job. Yeah. But it's like I have to constantly be working at it.

And I kind of have to constantly like, and if I fail, it's not like, oh, I got fired from this job. It's like Jake Cornell failed. I mean, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like a sharp. swimming thing if sharks stop swimming they'll die yeah it's sort of like that absolutely where where it's like wow like like when people are like when people like when people like when people like when people like the instagram story of like slams laptop till monday i'm like it turns off my my reign till monday like turns off my existence yeah i don't have that yeah unfortunately i'm i'm plugging away all the time i didn't realize that other it's like oh wait we all go on vacations okay yeah no for real no no constantly i feel like and also too it's like high risk high reward yes right So like the greatest things you could ever think of, like dream job, really long way to fall if it doesn't work out.

Well, that's the thing. And it is. And I will never claim my job is harder in terms of the day-to-day work than like anyone who is in 95. I will never. Like I understand the perks of my job. But the way that it exists in every moment of my life is, it's an exchange. It's uniquely hard. Yeah.

And I've said that too. I was like, I would never say this is the hardest job in the world. It's just not. Yeah, I would never say this is the hardest job in the world. I've always said this job comes with a very specific set of problems that you would never encounter in any other job you've had. No matter how many times you've had them. Like, you could have had 100 jobs.

If it wasn't this one, all the problems you come across, you're not going to know how to deal with because there's no one to ask. Yeah. And then the only way to get through it is to get through it and then to make friends who are also doing it and talk shit about it. That's the only way. It's also one of the ones where it's also like if you were to quit tomorrow when you went out to the restaurant the next day,

you would still be drew off wall. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yes, of course. And people would recognize you. Absolutely. And you'd have to deal with that. So it's like,

it's also, I'm like pushing you into a crisis, but it's like, it is irrevocable. Like we also did something that's like a little irrevocable. No, it's true. I made my peace with.

I signed that contract with the devil a long time ago. That's why I was like, I made peace with it a while ago. Yeah. But that doesn't mean that we can't talk shit about it. No, absolutely. Even if anything,

when you were saying, I'm way too obnoxious to have done anything else. Fucking same. Yeah. I was telling my friend the other day this unbelievably ridiculous story that happened to my family. The most insane things happened to me and my family always, my entire life. Like, and to the point where the other day I told my sister, if we didn't have a witness at certain points in our life, people would think I'm just a pathological liar. Because, and I was telling my fiance, when I was telling that story, I was like, what's crazy is that I think that cosmic balance gave me this job because there's nothing else I could fucking do.

do like with all of this all of this shit happening to me I needed to put it somewhere I needed to channel that into something yeah and then turned out it was being hilarious yeah that's the other thing is like it's like I'll I'll tell myself like it's so crazy that I like this is the career brother I pursued but then I'm also like but I did it it is my job now like it is my job now yeah and it it is shocking like it's like oh I I I did like I'm like dunking on younger version of me for going after this thing, but clearly he was smart because it worked. Same. Like, I still have more I want to achieve and more I want to grow towards.

Totally. But, like, it's not failing. No, absolutely not. You know what? No, absolutely not. But it's like, you're, it's funny to write that off in a certain way. Yeah. And I think that, well, first of all, I think that means, it makes it obvious you're a good

person because you're feeling grateful for it. Yeah. You're still walking gratitude about it, which I, I do the same thing because I would never want to do anything else. Nothing is more miserable than being around people who are super successful and are not, and are like, complaining about it. Have you ever been at those parties? Yes, of course.

That is truly, I would rather be around straight people. Do you know what I mean? My favorite thing to do is when my friends and I, we were like, can I just bitch? And we bitch about the most ridiculous, like, problems that no one would ever understand. And then at the end, we're always like, this is a fucking made-up job. What am I complaining about? It's almost like I talk myself out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Go around to end up right back where I was. Which is like, I need to shut up. No. Yeah, you get back to it and you're like, this is actually fine. Yeah, and I need to be, I need to be quiet. because I'm dumb. Yes. A hundred percent.

But I think you are fucking hilarious. And I'm so grateful that you came on the show. I'm so happy to be here. I would love to ask you if you have any advice for any, because we just talked about how hard you worked to get to where you are now. And you're doing amazing now, which I'm very grateful for. Thank you. For the internet to have exposure to you in that way.

But I would love to know if you have any advice for any aspiring comedians, stand-ups, like anyone who wants to pursue this art form, like if you have any advice for them. Yeah, I was thinking about this. I was watching. I was watching Lena Dunham's interview on Girls We Watch podcast that just came out on the flight over here today. And I was thinking about how, like, she put out so much work from such a young age. And I didn't do that. And I was so afraid of if I put something bad out, people would, like, write me off and I'd never be able to, like, recover from the bad thing.

Right. And it's like the life is long and time moves on. and you can and like and you just try just try like just try it wasn't until like when I finally started making stuff my career started changing my life started changing like it was like and I waited a little bit longer than I wish I had to do that so it's like just make some videos like make some videos go try stand up like especially when you're young and like and be receptive to like what's actually happening don't go in it with like don't be like the delusional person who's like, fuck them, they didn't laugh.

It's not them. Like, be open to being bad at something and then get good at it. Yeah, it's like failing faster. Yes. It's like fail faster so that you can succeed faster. Yes. It's like getting it out of the way. And also, it should always also kind of be about making friends.

Because that's also going to lead to your success. Totally. Like if you're, when you're at shows, when you're working on collaborating with people, it's not just about the product, for me at least. It's about like building relationships with people becoming friends. with people because one, a job is only worth having, in my mind, a career in a job is only worth having if you're enjoying doing it, which is like why I do this. And it's because I get to like, like, we're at work right now. I'm hanging out with you. Do you know what I mean? It's like,

so treat people very well. And oh, this is a huge piece of advice. I will say this now after doing this for 10 years, you never know where someone's going to end up. Like the assistant that was like on a shoot when like seven years ago is going to be a director in 10 years. That's true. So you, So you need to be nice to everyone. And you shouldn't be nice to them because they might be a director in 10 years. No. But like if you're ever catching yourself like being short or be like you need to watch it because people fucking remember shit. That's so.

Especially people in this industry that are not talent. Like if they work as a producer, a PA, an assistant. A hundred percent. Makeup hair styling. Anyone, anyone that works on these sets, they do remember. And do you know why we know? Because they tell us now. Exactly.

That's my favorite question. Oh, my love. So who's, you sit down in the chair? So who sucks? Yeah. My favorite question to ask is literally like, you've worked with anyone that's that sucked ass? I'm like, yeah. They're always like, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I ask makeup artist. I ask hairstylist. I literally ask anybody. I'm like, and what's your tea girl? Yeah. What's going on? Who do we hate?

Who do we love? And you're like, oh, they signed an NDA? Well, we can whisper, bitch. Like, I don't like. And here's mine. Signing it for you. Yeah. So treat people well.

I think it's also. I love that. I think you're incredible and so fucking fine. I think you are fucking incredible. Thank you. I'm so glad you came out. I'm so glad the crews brought you here. I'm so glad the crews brought you to these shores.

It took so long to get around the South America, but you're here. But you're here. So for those who don't know for whatever fucking reason and haven't, have it know where to find you, where can everybody find you? You can follow me on TikTok or Instagram at Jake W. Cornell. And on substack, you can search Jake Cornell or walk with me here is the name of my show. Beautiful. Thank you so much. The amazing Jake Cornell

for joining us on this episode of the comment section. Thank you so much for coming. You're fucking awesome. I love you. I'm obsessed with you. And thank you all so much for joining us on this episode.

Don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite platform, Spotify. Thank you so much to our amazing guest, Jay Cornell. Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next week.

Bye!