The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - IF CONFIDENCE SCARES YOU: BOO! | Drew Afualo ft. Chrissy Chlapecka | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 36

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew welcomes Chrissy Chlapecka to the show this week to talk about confidence vs. arrogance, men being creepy at the gym and on the streets, why becoming self-aware is growth, and so much more. Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Chrissy: https://www.instagram.com/chrissychlapecka/?hl=en https://www.tiktok.com/@chrissychlapecka?lang=en ABOUT THE COMMENT SECTION It’s going DOWN in the comments in this new weekly show from defender of women on the internet, Drew Afualo! Join Drew and a new weekly guest as they explore the dreaded COMMENT SECTION of their tagged videos on TikTok. Through a candid discussion and lots of laughs, Drew keeps it real and gives in-depth advice on the issues that you care about most. https://lnk.bio/thecommentsection Subscribe to Past Your Bedtime on YouTube for the video version or anywhere you listen to podcasts for the audio version! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The comments on this video, like this first one says, yes, but sometimes I see girls that are too confident and they seem kind of ridiculous. So I feel like there's a really thin line and I'm scared. That sounds like an unconfident man. Booh. 50-50 if my zippers up or down anymore. Take my pants off at home. They come off easy. I'm like, I that was four hours I was walking around like.

Netflix is a joke presents. Nate Bargatsy, Big Dumb Eyes World Tour. live taping at Into a Dome. I think it's because I'm peeing so much longer. I watch young people come and go. I like tell my family I'm okay. Nate Bargettze, May 9th and 10, live at Into a dome. Get tickets at Netflix at Jokefest.com.

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show, starring me, your favorite minion. And I told you all, it's spooky season, so get ready for the costumes. That's what they're going to be all month long. Anyways, on to the exciting part. My wonderful, amazing guest today is the one and only, Chrissy, Shlfeka. Oh, my gosh. Beautiful.

I love you. I love you. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. Chrissy and I go way back. Way back. We do. Way back.

Like this. Yeah. Like, together through the ringer. Right. We really have. Yeah. Chrissy, you've actually been one of my most requested ones too. Really?

We're like, when are we getting Chrissy on the show? And then when I had Ann and Ia, even more so. Oh, my gosh. No stop. I'm so thankful. and grateful to be here, seriously. Chris and I were talking before, we were talking about how you and I,

you're probably one of the only creators I've met in the space that gets as much hate as I do. Yeah. It's pretty rotted for us. It's, you know, it's rough out there, but, like, we keep doing it, and that's what matters.

It's like, I'm, like, damn near a balled at this point. Like, there's nothing going on behind my eyes anymore. Just dead? No, fully, fully. It's pretty rotted. Yeah. I found you, I want to say, early 2021 is when I first saw you. And I saw all your videos about wearing whatever you want, no matter what anyone says.

Right. Which is, I think, like, kind of like, the really big ones at the time when I saw you. And that's really what exploded you. Yeah. It's still in confidence. Confidence. We love that. Confidence is key.

Do you get lots of people telling you that they, you've inspired them to wear whatever they want? Yeah. It's really sweet. It's like, I grew up. not a very confident person and I really had to come into my confidence in the last two years. Oh yeah. Really? Yeah.

I was, you know, very, not necessarily shy. I mean, I did musical theater. That's embarrassing. But, like, just not, like, I didn't have a sense of self for a very long time. And so I had gotten out of a really nasty situation I was in. And I had to kind of, like, rebuild myself. And I was like, who is Chrissy? And so that's honestly where I started on TikTok.

I just started posting and like... And that's when you were kind of coming into your own at that point. Yeah, and so it's kind of like if you watch from the beginning, it's a little bit of a journey that I don't know if anyone would really realize, but like of me just like becoming myself and becoming confident and then learning things and then telling other people and also just being silly because I just want to be silly. Me too. Right.

We're here for the silly goofy time. I'll tell you that. We love to be silly. We love it. And terrible men hate that. Oh, they hate that. They're like you're supposed to sit there. and look pretty and not say anything unless it's complimenting me.

And it's like, well, I'm going to sit here and look pretty and also call you stupid. And ugly. And ugly. They never tell me I'm pretty, so, oh, for two, it might as well. They don't call me pretty either. Someone went, I don't, maybe they were calling me pretty in this comment. They were like, you look like a Barbie that got put through the washing machine too many times. And I was like.

You kind of ate me up a little bit. I was like, actually true? I was like real I honestly don't I've had the worst insults ever I was trying to think of like a good one I've talked about some before they're never really that clever

really they're always real bottom shelf like easy pick and no one thing about them not clever they really aren't and they hate us for similar reasons I think oh yes because I think I I had kind of elaborated about this a little bit online I think maybe on Twitter but

I was like talking about how I think the thing that men hate the most that you and I have in common is that it is very obvious that we don't derive our confidence from male validation. Right. Like at all. Right. A man could never speak to me again and I would feel the exact same way about myself. Right. Yeah.

No. Absolutely. Actually, let's try it. No, for real. Man, if you're seeing this, stop talking. To me especially. And in general. In general.

Every time they say they're like See you're trying to silence us And it's like yeah Well I mean You said it not me Yeah like if you're gonna say it You know what maybe you're right Maybe you're right

Yeah well you don't ever think before you talk So maybe just don't talk at all Exactly like use a brain seller too If you have them If you can spare one I'd advise Use it baby Yeah I think it makes it very clear to them

That nothing they say can hurt us Right Because I don't care about what they think. And I think that's what pisses them off the most. Yeah. That they can say some of the most vile things and you and I can read that and just be like, okay. But really, and I think that's where it comes and then they start making all these videos about us and all this commentary and taking like bits and pieces of things we've said and putting them together and being like... This is who I think she is. Yeah, and it's like, you know what, maybe, okay. And whatever. But sometimes

I think like, oh man, the narratives that I've seen. built about me. Some some dude once made like a video going through a timeline of made up events like none of these are real but he's like convinced they're real so I guess to him they're real but of like where I got my confidence from how it's probably from my boyfriend how like fluctuating weight had something to do with it. I always said babe write a children's book. Why are you talking about me?

The fantasy you created. No, for real. It's just like where do they, they come up with all of these just like interpretations and theories about like how we grew up and how we lived. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's like you only know also the part of me I'm putting online. Like just for you know, there's like other parts of Chrissy that not everybody sees because I choose not to show everyone. Exactly. And that's okay.

Well, and that's kind of the whole point of the internet. Like you only know what you see. Right. So you can base it. Like, but I also think it's weird like to create a persona of someone you don't even know. Oh, yeah. That's what they're like, you guys don't, like, sometimes I've seen dudes be like, you don't know who the real true is. And I'm like, do you?

Do you, bitch? Like, I've never met you. Right. I've never met you in my life. Exactly. So I can't tell you anything about myself because you're not going to believe me because you've already made up your mind. Exactly. That's the internet for you though.

They will make up their minds in two seconds and you can be like, hey, actually, no, I am the person you're talking about and I have real experiences. And I would know my own truth. and they're just like, but no. No, actually, there's this one tweet that somebody said is 100% true.

The one tweet that someone said that doesn't even know you. Yeah, and I've talked about that before like in the past with other creators where it's like

the conspiracy theory thing, like it turns into almost the biggest game of telephone because then like by the time it gets to the end it's a completely different rumor than what it was at the beginning.

Yeah. And I had said to online, I'm like, the fact that like, someone will make one video and you think it's valid so you're like, I knew I didn't like them. You're a weirdo. I always knew I had a bad feeling better. The vibes were always off.

Like, that's weird, oh shit. That's weird. You're just waiting. Weren't you following me? If the vibes were off, you couldn't have to follow in general. Sometimes I'll see hate comments and it literally says follow back. I'm like, babe. Yeah.

Every time, they say the craziest things. And then you go to their profile and you're like, oh, you're a fan. Well, that makes sense. Right, right. You talk about me all the time, like, you're a fan, so. Well, that's what I've, like, come to realize, too, is that, like, I personally would never go online, see a person and be like, I'm going to say some of the worst things I could possibly think of. Because I think, you know, I've gone to therapy. I've done the thing, you know.

I love myself. I love myself, and I take care of myself and protect my peace, which I just feel like a lot of people on the Internet don't know how to do because it's, like, how are you saying? spending your whole day going online saying some really, really nasty things. And it's like, it almost, it does. It does make me sad because I'm like, you must have a lot of hurt in your heart, in your personal life to be, you know, channeling this anger towards people you don't know. There's people I don't know on the internet who, sure, I don't really like, but I'm not going to be like. I'm not going to seek them out. Yeah. You know what I do? Scroll. Yes, scroll. That's what I do. I go, not interesting. Not interesting. Yeah. I'd be abusing that button.

And I'm like, not interested. Because I have no beef. Yeah. I just like your content's not for me. That's what I always think. Not everything on the internet, believe it or not, is for you specifically. Uh-huh. And then when you get angry, that's another thing.

I've said that before too, that another reason why I might get so mad is because I'm like, this, this is the one table that you don't have a seat at. Yeah. You have no say in my house. Yeah. So like when you're awful, you can yell it from outside. And no one's listening to you. Yeah.

And they get so angry about it. that because especially on your platform too because they're so used to being prioritized and welcomed in any space can't relate and it just breaks their brain that like people can do but I have things to say yeah like we can we can do things without you know thinking of them like dressing the way we want to do and saying the things we want to say and existing in our own personal worlds without being like now what would a man think of this how does he feel like how will he perceive me yeah I don't care Like, believe it or not.

Yeah, believe it or not, not everything in this world revolves around you, but... Exactly. And I think if you focus on... If they focus on themselves more, you'd probably be a lot happier. Yeah.

And be a lot more confident. Exactly. Like the two of us. And it's funny because those men like that, they seek male validation desperately. I mean, that's why... Like, men get girlfriends, and then they're like,

oh, what are the, what are the bros gonna think of my girl? And it's like, do you want to kiss your bros? Like, who cares what they think? Like, what do they think? Like, you know what I mean? It's like, they're always trying to, like, seek, yeah, like you said, seek each other's validation.

Yeah. Just like make feel better about themselves. Yes. Because like they are attracted to women. They don't always like women. Yes. That's why I'm like, you're attracted to women sexually. That does not mean you like them.

It does not mean you like them. Like respect goes both ways. Yes. And that's why when they're like, you just have zero respect. I'm like, yeah, for a bigot? Yeah, no, I got none. Yeah, why would I have it? I got zero, babe.

Where's it at? Nope. Like, hello? I got none. That's why I was like, yeah, I was really mean to you. Yeah, that was on purpose. Right. That's what I said.

I meant to be mean. I meant what I said. I'm glad the message was received. Yeah, thank you. I did an interview once and they clip that apart from my video where I was like, they're like, all you're doing is spreading hate. And I was like, well, I hate you. Yeah. So I'm glad that message was received.

Yeah. Like you have it. I'm so glad it's on your phone. I'm so glad you edited it. Yeah. I'm so glad you have it. And you're staring at my face all the time. I'm so glad.

Do you Lord. Well, that's why like, that's why like that. That's the confidence that you and I both have. And it does not come from putting, like, other women down or other people that have done nothing to us. And it also doesn't come from men at all. That's why men are like, you only feel good about yourself because you make fun of men. I'm like, that doesn't make me feel good about myself. Right.

That makes me funny. Exactly. Like, hello. Don't you know where the humor came from? I'm like, that doesn't make me feel good about myself. There are lots of other things that make me feel good about myself. That's just something I'm good at. Right.

Like knitting, potting plants. All of that. It's a skill. Yeah. You know, people have skills. It's a trade. Like, I could go to school for it if I wanted to. And I'd become a master.

And you should. I should. I should start to school. That'd be great. I'm in. Yeah, people ask me. Maybe I wouldn't skip class, though. Okay, so today it leads perfectly to our topic for today.

Today we're going to be talking about confidence because Chrissy is the CEO of Confidence, Babes. We chat. Oh, my eyelashes. Sorry. I'm trying. We try. Okay, so what we do here on the comment section show is we bring a couple videos here that I was tagged in and then we look at them, we laugh, we giggle. Love to giggle. Never cry.

Never. Never. Ever. We just share nothing about laughs and giggles here. So for this first video, basically it's a woman, not the way I have to hold my phone like that. It's a woman in her bathroom mirror with the caption when you're a confident big girl and she's lip singing the audio, not trying to be cocky, but I'm bad as. basically. She's like feeling herself. Yeah. Which is a good thing, period. Love. And so, of course, some men were not too happy.

Shocker. Shocking. Yeah, when women do literally anything, including breathe, they get very upset. Right, right. This says, let's see you without makeup since you're so big-headed. I get that a lot, too. What? Yeah, which is so funny because I'm like, that means you're admitting to be being attracted to me.

I've definitely gotten, like, one swipe and it's all gone. And then, actually, multiple swipes. Okay. Do you know how many makeup wipes I actually have to use? No, literally. Tell me you don't know anything about skincare. No, for real. I could tell.

But that makes it even more obvious. Right. Yeah, with that, it's like, well, you're admitting you're attracted to them with the makeup. Exactly. It's just like when guys are like, oh, take it to the pool on the first date. I hated that joke. Okay. And it won't come off.

Yeah, and I will be tanning and I will look so cute. I have my setting spray on. Same, same, same, same. Before I used to get lash extensions, because I'm a lash extension girlie. Love. Before I used to do that, I used to wear strip lashes, like, to the beach and shit. Yep. Oh.

I just love them. Me too. I love them. I'd go underwater with them. Same. Stay on, kind of. Same. And if they don't, whatever.

Whatever, who cares? Like, what? Who cares? Yeah, who cares? I'm not going to be embarrassed if a man sees me. Like, do you think a man's going to look at me and be like, your eyelashes a little off? Like. I've said that.

I've said that before, too. Right. I've said that before, too much makeup. I'm like, you're giving yourself way too much credit. Right. You can't tell the difference. Do you know what foundation is? Yeah, come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. If I showed you a picture of me with no makeup on, you would think I had nothing on. So you're an idiot. No, exactly. I feel like I would post a photo of me with no makeup on and they'd be like, take it all off.

I've gotten that. Really? Yeah, 90% of my videos I film with no makeup on. I just have lashes. So then they're like, why don't you try taking that makeup off first of all? I don't have any on my face. Right. Oh, my God.

They're so dumb. You dim wet. You have any other questions? No, right. Write an essay, babe. Like, holy. I'm like, okay, Sherlock. Great detective work.

Really? And I always think, too, like, do you even care at that point? Right. Like, it's the same, like, kind of connotation towards when they try to, like, comment on women who get any sort of, like, work done to themselves. Right. Like, plastic surgery-wise, if you want to do it, do it. Whatever makes you think about yourself, babe?

But with that, sometimes they'll say things like, oh, I don't like fake boobs. Like, you know, they're too, like, blah, blah, blah, blah. All these unsolicited commentary about food boobs. And I think if you had a pair of cities in your face, you're telling me that you're going to be like, fake. You're like, where, no, where? Hold on. Hang on. Are these fake?

No, right. Like, are you going to get up and leave? Yeah, you're going to be like, put your clothes back on. You disgust me. Disgusting. You're a liar, bro. Seriously. That's why I'm like, what do you care if they're fake?

Right. They're cities. You don't or not. You don't care because you're looking at them anyway. Like, you don't. Like, are you really trying to investigate and see? And you're like, I hate fake booze. I'm like, wait a second.

Are those fake? Like, let me trust again. Just won't. I'm disgusted. Like, what the hell? What you're wrong? They act like they care so much. And then honestly, it's like, no, literally all you care is about the physical aspect, too.

That's what I'm saying. Like, you, you, if you're that concerned about how much makeup I'm wearing, you're obviously not concerned about getting to know me. or knowing anything about me. That's true. That's the self-reed. Because you're admitting to being like superficial. Yeah, you're admitting to being the worst.

Like literally the worst. Out the gate. Yeah. Not even five seconds into the day. If my eyeliner is a red flag, baby, you're covered in that. I'm like, sorry. Oh, no, you don't want to date me? Oh, too bad.

Okay, so this next comment says to each his own, but you should work on. your body, just my opinion. Hello? What? An unsolicited opinion, not that. Yeah. I'll say that much.

Just my opinion. Just my opinion. That's why I say, like, one time I defended one of my friends on TikTok, and this guy said with his whole chest, he said, because she was, she's a fat woman. She's a plus size model, actually. And so he goes, you, like, it's disgusting to me that people like you are idolized because I don't want to have kids in a world where women like this are revered. He said that with his whole chest.

Men always bring kids up. They're like, what would the kids think? And it's like, do you care what kids think? Yeah, like, do you actually? And if you care that much, like. Maybe you have a problem. Yeah, why are you thinking about kids so much, weirdo? Yeah, well, then I literally was like, I said to him, I made jokes about him.

He was, like, attacking my friend. So I made jokes about him. and I said that he looked like he was about 5-7. And then I said, what size shoe are you? Like an 8, 8.5? Right. And then I said, if you can't make it past the cheeks, just say that, Beau. And so he heard nothing else I said, except those two jokes.

Yeah. Then he goes, he admitted, he was like, I am 5-7 and I am a size 8. I'm all, damn, spot on. Right. I was a shot in a dark, babe, and I got you. No. Two for two, right? But he was like, he got so upset.

And he was like, I was just making observations, blah, blah, blah. So was that. So were you? What? What? Like, there's literally, you're good with your own observations? But that's what I'm saying, like, you're observing, like, he's like, just my opinion. If I was like, and just my opinion, you're ugly.

Right. They'd be like, that's too far. Like, you can't say stuff like that. Do you know how bad it is from my mental health? Yeah. Like, all these things, like, you're the problem with social media. And it's like, no, you are. All of a sudden they care about mental health.

All of a sudden they care about all, like, X, X, Y, and C, oh, literally. But no, the minute you get called out for it Or you get made fun of, it's like And I've said See, this is why the internet is a toxic place And I can't go out of this anymore Yeah, this isn't it's so toxic I'm like, you started it

You, the comments make Almost all the toxicity like That's what I'm saying. You're right, because it's like you can't have a woman filming herself, feeling herself, and joining herself threatening no one Yeah, literally at all. if that upsets you, dear lord, I'm begging, I'm on my knees.

I could give you a recommendation for a therapist. My therapist is great. Yes, there you go. You need it. It's just like why? And like I said earlier, like it just makes, that doesn't make me sad for them. It just like, it really opens my mind. Like you are so unhappy with yourself.

Yeah. You are just commenting on something so innocent. Well, and it's doing nothing to anyone. Right. She's feeling good about herself. Maybe someone else will find confidence in it. Yeah. But that bothers you?

That's why I said, like, if fat people bother you, that much. Maybe you have a problem. Yes, you definitely do. Maybe you're ill. Like, think about it. You know what I mean? Right. And I think, I think to myself, too, like, I've just never been that bothered by people that weren't harming me. Like, they weren't hurting me, they weren't attacking me, they weren't antagonizing me literally at all. They're just living their life and operating in their own space. And I'm like, that bothers me. I'm going to go over there and harass them. You're a weirdo. It's like, you can scroll. Like, the app is limitless. Babe.

It really is. Come on. Right. And then there's other, like, other body shaming comments as well, like, basically saying, like, she's pretty, but they don't like her body or whatever. I'm like, I don't think she cares. And it's also, like, she probably doesn't even care that you calls her. Like, she's pretty.

Like, we don't even, I don't need that from you either. Yeah. Yeah. Either or. Either or. Like, I don't need to hear a single thing. You know what you can do? Delete a comment.

You know what you do? Go get some bitches, bro. Like, go drown in some pussy. Have you tried? You tried, like, talking to a woman, maybe. Have you ever touched a woman? Have you ever looked at a woman? Like, do you talk?

Does your mom know anything you're saying on the internet? Like, do you work. I've heard the argument, too. Sometimes they're like, oh, when you say that, they're like, you're just assuming that men like that don't get laid or whatever, right? And I was like, they don't. That doesn't mean that, like, more conventionally attractive men don't get laid. but like they're still unhappy. Right.

And they don't get nearly as much puss as they make you believe that they do. Oh, yeah. Like, they just act like women are so dumb in the sense that it's like, they see a man acting like that and they're just going to be like, they think, okay, they think we're going to think the way a man thinks. Exactly. Like, they think we're going to be like, oh, screw all of the horrible things you're saying or whatever.

I'm still going to, like, have sex with you. Yeah, it's the male gays. It's the male. Yeah. And it's like, no, like. In a chokehold, babe. Some of my first, some of my first videos to ever, like, really, really take off were about Jimbrose, my favorite people. Right.

My biggest fans. They're my biggest fans. Your BFFs. My BFs for life. Right. Love you, babe. With them, I was talking, I was actually defending another dude. Like, he was making fun of, like, thinner dudes.

And he was, like, a big, meat head. And I made a video defending him, like, saying, like, just because you have, like, Cal King pillows for Pecks, bro, does not mean. that you're automatically going to get women. Like, that's no guarantee, babe. And if you do, I always say, like, if you do, a lot of times, if it sustains, that girl might be a picnic, right? If it doesn't, it's because they thought you were one thing and then you opened your flapping gums, and then they were like, yeah, no.

Right. Immediately no. They think we just don't listen. You don't have ears. We don't hear the things they're saying and have our own opinions. Like, how dare a woman think. Dear Lord, if you're a woman, woman and you're thinking right now stop well yeah and then I I saw a video once where this guy was like

I forget who he was showing pictures of I think it might have been Addison Ray but he was showing pictures of her with her boyfriend and he was like I don't understand like how someone like like I look like how I look and he looks like how he looks like he's comparing their looks and he's like and she's someone like her is with him and I say you don't hear what you just said about yourself right it's like maybe because you saw maybe you're garbage have you thought about that worst that's like I'm like I've said that before. What are the odds? Every woman you come across is like,

I like genuinely hate this guy. Yeah. And you're like, they're all wrong. They're all wrong. And it's like, even the ones that have probably like dated you or slept with you or whatever, they probably did leave those interactions being like, that is the worst person I've ever.

Like, why did I do that? Like they're beating themselves up, which they shouldn't. It's hard. But like... Well, also sometimes like, although men like that, like terrible men like that are, are like dingbats in their very nature.

Yeah. Some of them have mastered the art of lying. Oh. Oh, yes. So they can pretend for a while, and then after a while it rears its ugly head, doesn't it? Have you met my ex? Like, yes.

It's, I mean, yeah, it's like the love bombing thing too. And just lying and completely lying about their character. And then you get so sucked in. And then slowly it just like strips off of them. And you're just like, what have I done? This person is a nightmare. Who is this person? Yeah, literally.

I made a video about that once. because I saw a guy, he stitched some woman who was basically saying that, like, you know, men who are abusive in their very nature are the reason why a lot of women say not all men. Or men say not all men like terrible ones, but women say all men. Yeah. And this guy was like, he was trying to do like a thought experiment, like trying different sodas and they, none of, different liquids and they all look different. And he's like, why are all these terrible? Like basically saying it's women's fault if they date terrible men. Which is such a pick-me-d-d-do thing to say.

It is. And it's so unfair. It's like, do you not listen? Like, no, of course, do you not listen to the guys around you the way they talk and the way they switch up when they're around women? Yeah. Have you ever, like, watch that in real time? Yeah. Because it's so, like, of course I didn't want to date an abusive person.

Yeah. Of course that wasn't my thought when I started dating my ex. Yeah. Like, I wasn't like, I'm ready for some fun. Yeah, yeah. You know, and then I'm six months in and I'm like, where am I? Like, what is going on? That's just a willful ignorance, I think, that they do.

Like, when they say things like that, it's so harmful and it's very nature. But they also, like, it alludes to a larger conversation about, like, how they just, women are just constantly at fault, no matter what happens to them. Like, they are just constantly at fault or held to a completely different standard than actual abusers are. Yeah. So they'll, I said to, I'm like, you, if you looked at all, like, Coke and Pepsi products, like, they all look the same. Yeah. But they don't taste the same.

And you don't know until you try it. So women get fooled all the time because they're like, okay, well, this person seems nice. And then after, like, however long, that mask comes off and you're like, oh, my God, you're a nightmare. Yeah. And then men are like, that's what you get for dating, for dating. And I always say, like, you know, that whole nice guys finish last. It's the same kind of dude who says shit like that. But I always say, like, you think women are.

like, I think I'm going to date someone who's awful to me. You think that's a conscious choice they're making? And then you just go and blame them and it's like it becomes this like little hate party on the woman. And it's like the guy's not even like held accountable for the awful things he did. And you, yeah, like you'll say, well, he did this to me. And then they're like, well, why did you stay? And it's like, do you not know how cycles of abuse go?

Like, do you know what it's like to be with a narcissist? Do you know what it's like to be with someone that? That is just like scary in that sense. Like have you ever been in that situation? And it's so frustrating like being someone who's been in that situation and reading stuff like that. Because it's just like you don't get it. Yeah. You don't understand it.

And it's okay if you don't, but you don't have to judge me for it. Yeah. Well, and it's also so unwarranted. Like you're in no position, first of all, to judge anyone on any, anything when it's coming from a place of like ignorance, especially. Like if you don't even know, then how can you sit there and tell other people, what they should and shouldn't know. You know what you don't know what you would do in that situation. And I've said that before too about other like podcasts.

Like yeah, that one podcast that we all, hey, I won't see the name of it, but like we know the one. I see it in my house. Yeah. But that like I told, I made a video once because I got tagged in this video where they were like berating some woman. She walked off the set, whatever. And they were like saying all these awful things to her in the mic. And they were like, oh, talk about this, talk about this. I'm like, I've already talked about these dudes forever.

They hate me so bad. They've made several episodes about me. Dear Lord. So that's how much they hate me. They want to kiss you. And I was like, and the feeling's mutual, babe, I hate you too. So there you go. But I was like, I've said on there, I'm like, stop going on this podcast.

Like, just don't pay attention to them. Like, you got to act like they're dead, bro. Like, that's how it works. But I was saying like, and I had to put in my comments on like, and there's no judgment towards the women who do go on that podcast. They don't, some of them don't know. We don't know their stories. I'm not telling you to judge them.

I'm telling you to just don't engage with them at all. If you get invited or whatever, like, think before you go. Yeah. Is this something I want to willingly enter? And then if you do, you do, whatever. Right. But that's all I was like, I'm not judging you, babe. I'm judging them.

Right. Because they're making an active decision to be awful for no reason. Exactly. It's not, yeah, it's not the person that decides to go. Yeah, that sounds like, they don't know. You can hope they'd think about it. Yeah. But you also don't know the extent of what they know about them.

Like, I didn't know a lot of. about them until it started like going up on the internet. Not that I think I'd go on anyway, but like I'm just saying. But some people genuinely don't know at all. Or they promise them like, oh, you can talk to me and like maybe you can convince me otherwise. That's all I was like

you cannot convince people like that. You can't. Yeah. I mean, that just goes all the way back. Like you don't know people. Like you don't know these people that are facades of the internet. Yeah, literally? You don't. You know an aspect. And like, sure, you can have critical thinking

skills and judge the aspect and not like it and scroll or if you have something to say that is meaningful and that is educational and that someone can learn from please say it yeah but if you don't like then you can be a little bit you know what I mean okay so I'll move on to this next video so this next one says in this video a woman is sharing confidence tips her main four points in the video are working on your posture and body language to physically feel more confident, making your internal thoughts about yourself more positive, push yourself to get out there and limit negative people in your life, which I think is fair. I think those are great tips. Yeah. Great starter tips, especially. Do you get a lot of questions about how to build confidence? Oh, yeah. I get those

too. All the time. All the time. What's your like best advice, you think? I think it's kind of hard to be like, if you do this, you're going to be confident. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? it just seems so like, like, an ad, almost like an ad for confidence, you know? It's not like a one-size-fits-all kind of thing? Yeah, and, like, I think the biggest thing I always say and that I have to do literally every day is, like, wake up and, like, decide. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to be confident today.

I'm going to love myself today. I'm going to do it. And it's, like, a conscious decision because, like, there are days I wake up and I'm like, I really hate myself right now. I don't want to love myself. I feel horrible. And, like, too. And that's valid, too.

Yeah, and they're real. Like you can't be the side of confidence without feeling this side of like not confidence. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean. You can't have one without the other. And so it's just like for me like deciding like I'm going to love how I look today. I'm going to wear what I want today. I'm not going to care.

I'm not going to care. And like sure it doesn't prevent. It's not like a shield. Yeah. But like having that in the back of your head, at least for me, has really helped me just like practice those things. Because it's a practice. Yeah, absolutely. I did not wake up in these past two years and just say, like, this is it now.

Like, I'm the it girl now. Oh, my God, I'm confident. Yeah, like it took a lot of healing, a lot of understanding myself, a lot of compassion. Yeah. For myself, I had to give myself so much compassion. Yeah. Be like, girl, you have. Be patient by yourself.

Yeah, because it's not easy. But, like, I guess just, like, to wrap it up, just, like, put it into practice. speak it into yourself into the mirror every day. It feels silly, but like it at least helps me. And I don't know if it's going to help everyone, but it's worth trying. Yeah, that's also, that's a good point because I love affirmations. Yes. I think they're so powerful.

The words you say, even if you're kidding or you're joking or whatever, like self-deprecation is like, you know, a common thing with people who are working on it or whatever, your brain still listens to you and still internalizes like a baby. Like, you talk around a baby, like they'll, they internalize the things you're saying, even if they don't inherently understand them at that point in time. Yeah. The same thing with your brain. Like, your brain is hearing everything you're saying about yourself. So even if you don't consciously think, like, oh, I, like, I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself.

You talking badly by yourself is internalized and held on to. So the days you are having vulnerable days or you're not feeling the best by yourself. You think about the things that you've said in the past and you're like, oh, my God, all those things are true. And yeah, and it's almost hard, I feel like, because sometimes, like, you, like, people who, and I've definitely done this, so I will speak as myself. Like, when I would just make jokes and, like, self-deprecate, I would kind of look around the room and be like, do you agree? You know what I mean?

Like, you do look for, like, external validation. And, like, there is going to be so many people who go, Chrissy, no, like, you're amazing. You're beautiful. You're this, this and this. And for two seconds, you get a little, like, ooh, yay. But that's not going to change the way you feel. It's not going to last. I get beautiful and wonderful comments that, of course, stick with me all day.

But on the days that I am not happy and I don't feel good about myself, I have to choose to be happy. I have to tell myself because as much as I believe those people and want to believe those people, there are times that, like, their words don't access me the way my own would. Yeah, exactly. Absolutely. That's such a good point. And it kind of lends towards as well, like, relationships. Yeah.

Because I've had, I get relationship questions all the time. And I was like, I've told them before that, like, no one's ever going to love you like you love you. Yeah. And like when you work on yourself and you work on your confidence and how much you love yourself and take care of yourself, like, whatever that may look like, whether it's like, self care looks different for everyone. Yeah. Sometimes it's like, you know, pampering yourself. sometimes it's just eating and shattering. You know what I mean?

Like it's bare minimum sometimes. And that's okay because we all have been there at one point. But I always think like that's something you really need to like put into practice like you said all the time. Yeah. And make it like a habit, especially on days when you're not feeling your best. Because if you're not in a position like that and you do come across someone who's manipulative, narcissistic, you'll derive that from them. Like the love and adoration that you should be giving yourself and should just be amplified by your partner, like whoever you're with, whether it's your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend, what have you. As soon as they leave, you're going to lose it again.

Yeah. Right. So like, you've got to instill it in yourself. So you're like, I'm going to love me no matter what. And if someone comes and loves me too, awesome for them. Right. Lucky them. Yeah.

That's what I always say. They're lucky to be loving you. Yeah, absolutely. You know, and I think also just like learning how to like love yourself and all of, like, all of, like, like that whole thing and putting into practice, like you were saying, those narcissistic people come and those haters come and everything, you can just be like, you know what, they're wrong actually.

Yeah. Like there's been times I've gotten some really nasty comments and some nasty things. And instead of internalizing it and being like, am I really like that? Am I this and this? I just had to be like, actually I know myself and that's not true.

And I've been able to just like not even think about it the rest of the day. And it's hard. If you do this, you need that. You need that. And it's not easy. It is not. I said that like, I'm like, piece of cake.

But like, no, it's not. And that's okay. You do need that, though, like that practice. In general, you should have that in life. But, like, especially if you do any sort of, like, public-facing career of any kind, you have to, like, really know who you are and what you want and who, like, who you are as a person and how you affect others is what you should really understand and internalize. Because then people, like we said, well, say the craziest shit about us.

The craziest things. And it's all made up. None of it's real. It's so... Everything's a lie. Yeah, everything's a lie. Like, when it's just hate or shit, it's all... It's just lies.

It's purely lies. So the comments on this video, like this first one says, yes, but sometimes I see girls that are too confident and they seem kind of ridiculous. So I feel like there's a really thin line and I'm scared. Ooh. That sounds like an unconfident man. Boom. What is that even?

What is a thin line? Like what is their thing? Too confident. Like between confidence and two confidence, like where is the... I would like an explanation. Yeah, where is the line exactly? What do you deem too confident? And ridiculous.

Like, is it ridiculous because you're looking at them and that you're seeing them enjoy themselves and you secretly wish you could do the same? And is that why it's so ridiculous because we're not sitting in self-hatred? That's what I'm saying. Jared? Jared.

That's real, that's what we call projection love. You know what I mean? Like that's you being upset because you don't like yourself. Right. And I always think it's not other people's responsibility to like fix your inner trauma. No. You know what I mean? Like you're watching someone else and you're like, okay, I hate myself and this person doesn't so I'm going to hate them.

That's weird. The amount of comments I get like that. Yeah, it's so weird. And it's just like, I'm sorry. Like I truly am sorry you don't like yourself because that's a very sad way to live. And that's on you, babe. And I hope you don't live like that all the time. I truly do wish the best for them.

But to hate me for doing something so innocent and when I love myself, love yourself, like being stupid. Yeah. And then they're like, no, I don't like this girl. Like, yeah, I actually screw you. You're a weirdo, dude. You're so weird. It didn't resonate. Hey, babe.

You're not my target audience. That's okay. And I think that's always like some women are too confident. it is that's transparently. Like, it makes you feel weird about yourself. And I've talked about too, I'm pretty sure on here I've talked about it, how like, I think like emasculating men is a fallacy. Like, you can't emasculating, you can't take something from a man who doesn't derive

that power from pushing you down. Right. So your toxic masculinity, the internalized toxic masculinity that you have, when they say like, oh, don't immasculate him. Right. That's you putting, projecting. projecting onto like me, for example, because obviously I'm with a man. So like, they'll say like, oh, you're going to emasculate him by acting that way.

My man doesn't draw power from pushing me down. Right. So no, I'm not. Like me being confident in myself and loving myself and being outspoken doesn't hurt him because it has nothing to do with him. And it's almost weird that they're making your relationship just like not two separate people but one thing. Yeah, and it's him over me. Yeah. And it's like the idea that you need to be vulnerable and weaker, whether it's emotionally or physically, to push up your like boyfriend or husband or whatever.

Right. That's internalized misogyny. Yeah. That's patriarchy, babe. Exactly. He doesn't need to use me as a step stool to feel better about himself. Right. Because he's not a misogynist.

Believe it or not. Exactly. And it's like also like, you know, you're dating a guy and you go to the club and you're wearing something. super cute and sexy and guys are like how could you let her wear that like you let her go out like that and it's like oh i don't know man we're in charge of my wardrobe would you like to go shopping with me love and would you like to pay for it because if you listen but see then they're like all gold diggers yeah yeah you know what you can't have one without the other that's what i'm saying like you guys are you guys are hot and cold all the time like make up your mind they can never agree on a single thing no never it's it's extremely contradictory that's why

the whole like oh well you know like letting her just like a certain way whatever i've talked about that too i'm like yeah you don't want you don't want a girlfriend or life you don't want an equal partner in your relationship no you want a maid yeah or your mom you want something to use yeah not a person or or a dog like i don't know like like you can tell a dog what to do you can't tell a human what to do that's weird right that's like you want to be controlling of the person that you're supposed to like love and cherish. And it's like over sexualization of it too. It's like you're assuming because I go out like this and I dress like this that I am like,

all right, now who am I going to hook up with every second of every day? Yeah. Like again, it's not it's not for anything other than you. Exactly. And they can't wrap their brains around that concept because their validation comes from other men. Yeah. And they always assume that women's validation comes from men too.

Exactly. I talked about how, like, too, like, misogynistic men believe that women are inferior to them. And therefore, they believe they're vapid and all they care about is looks and how they're perceived by men. Right. So they think everything women do is solely for either the satisfaction or approval of men. Yeah. That's why the two of us are like, what is wrong with these bitches? Really?

Because I couldn't care less what you say about me, babe. Right. And like some, like, I made some videos recently where, I'm like being kind of serious and I'm not as like joking as I typically am. Yeah. And some of these are like, I like your content like this, make it this way. And then I go, no. Please.

I said, I literally wrote, don't get used to it. Because this is like one of the only times you're going to see me this way, babe. Because they just want to see you be quiet. They want to see you be timid. They want to see you not raise your voice or say what you feel and say what you mean. Yeah. They're like, you've been wronged by men in the past. Don't wrong men in the future.

Bro, suck my ass. That's what I wrote. Like, go to hell. I have been wronged by men in the past, and I will wrong you back. Hello? Immediately. Immediately. Immediately, man.

Watch your back. God. So I'm like, immediately. It's like, how are you so threatened by us? That's why it's weird. It's also just like they are so scared of us. Yeah. It's not even, it's like they're trying to tone us down.

They're trying to tell us what to do, what not to do while they are just terrified of us. Yeah, it's the fear that it's because, you know, I, it's like they have women in this trance. Yeah. Right? Or at least they believe they do. Yes. And then Chrissy and I are like the most extreme form of an alarm clock.

I'm waking these bitches up and I'm taking them with me. Listen up. Yeah. I'm rounding them up and we're leaving. Right. Like little ducklings are following me behind. Right. That's why the two of us are completely different because I'm not telling them to abuse you.

I'm telling them to leave you, babe. Yeah. I'm telling them they're better than you and they don't like that. Exactly. Because then they're like, now I got a race. the part. Now I've got to be a good person. Like sometimes maybe I encourage arson and lighting things on fire. But also all I'm saying is leave him. Yeah, there go. And if you are so upset that I'm, that the shoe fits, that the behaviors you are portraying and the way you are

treating, anyone, any woman or person in your life. And I'm calling those out and you're seeing that and you're going, oh, screw her, screw her. There's something called internal work. You can do. Unpack it. You can unpack it. You can unpack. You can work on yourself. You can understand why does that, why does that make me so mad? There's just in life things and I'm like, God, that makes me so mad. Why? And I've had to unpack it and be like, oh. Turns out it's me. Turns out it's me. Sometimes you're the problem and it's fine, but just fix it. God. That's called being an adult. Yeah. Welcome to the world. The real world, babe, where your actions have consequences. That's crazy. Right? That's crazy.

Who would have thought. Yeah. And the perception that other people have of, you have. you is solely derived from how you affect them. Yeah. So, like, if I affect you negatively and your perception, your perception of me is going to be negative. Yeah. But ask yourself why. Exactly.

And I even said in a recent video I made, too, I'm like, I can't believe none of you ever think to yourself, why does someone like this have a platform? Like, you don't think to yourself what we all have in common. Right. Is that you're the worst. Yeah. You're terrible. Right.

Like, people are agreeing with me. Maybe understand why. Yeah. Like, don't you. ever think like why someone like this seemingly important to the online community, you yourself and myself included? Why does someone

like this attract so many like-minded people? Because one of the things I'm most proud of when it comes to my platform is like none of my fans look the same. Like they're all so very different and come from very different walks of life. So what do all of them

have in common? Like think to yourself like use some critical thinking, babe. Why do all of them love us? Why? Use your brain. Figure it out. I always think you're right there. I'm not going to do it for you.

You're so close. You're so close. Or don't. Yeah, or don't. Be unhappy and be mad at the things we say and keep making content about it and giving us views. Thank you. And then suck my dick instead.

Yeah, come on. That's what I think of said. Like, do that. I bet that's a better use of your time. Right. If I'm being honest. Like, if you're that obsessed, just do it. Just do it.

God. I told the guy before, like, when this one guy was, like, commenting on all my pictures once. And I, on Instagram, like, hey, shit. And I go, dude, do you want to kiss me on the lips or what? Seriously. What's going on with you, man? Seriously.

It's 2 a.m. Why are you doing this right now? Yeah, you were so angry for no reason. You could go to bed, love. Yeah, don't you have a shift in the morning? Literally. Some of these other comments, this one just says, or you just become a narcissist with no personality.

The way that they've conflated the term confident and narcissism. I know, I know. This one guy tried to call me a narcissist and I go, I'm going to need you to explain to me what you think a narcissist is quickly. Yeah. And the definition he gave me, I go, yeah, that's not it, babe. It's not crap. They don't. It's not it, babe.

It's so, and it, oh. Did you know a narcissistic personality disorder more commonly affects men? Yeah. I wonder why that is. Think about it. God, it's just like, you can't see, like, why can't people look at confident women or confident people in a, general sense and just be like, I'm happy for you. Yeah. Like, that's awesome. Because it's like, just the perception of so much of it is just people being so angry. Yeah. And like, and like,

and for what? And for what? And it's like, why? And why do you have to bring up all these, like, things about, like, it's like, then they try and go for your insecurity. They're like, where, now, where is it? Like, where can I, like, yeah, exactly. You know, get her where it hurts? And it's like, nowhere. Like, actually nowhere. Yeah. You know what's crazy is, if I can enough about strangers' opinions of me on the internet, I would not have built a platform. No. I'd tell you that much. I would not be here. We wouldn't have made it. You would not see the beauty that is before you're made. You really wouldn't have. Yeah, I can promise you that. I think it's just the most intense form of self-projection. And it's also, it's a read. You're reading

yourself when you say things like that. But you're right. When I see other women or other people in general who are so confident and love themselves i think to myself i'm like that's awesome it's so cool i'm so happy for you like that's that's incredible and then you and i get comments all the time um where people are like i wish i could be as confident as you i wish i had this kind of strength or confidence and you do that's the tea it you do have it you just have to give yourself permission to access it because sometimes i say like why do you think that you don't deserve to love yourself the way that you should be right Like you're telling yourself, I don't deserve love like that. Why? Why? What makes you think that about yourself?

And I'm sure it's like derived from like comments other people have made. Yeah, absolutely. You know, your childhood and all of that. But it's like what makes the things they have said about you so important? Exactly. Because like I said, like the people that are saying those things, it's like they must feel so awful about themselves. That they're projecting it onto you. And so why does their feelings about themselves have anything to do with you?

They don't. They don't. Yeah. I think all the time, like, what other people think of me is none of my business. It's none of my business. Think whatever you want. It's okay if you hate me. It's okay if you don't like me.

It's okay if you don't find me attractive or whatever it is. But, like, I love me and I find me attractive and I find me awesome. And keep it to yourself. Yeah, also. Don't share it with me. And, like, don't be mad when I respond and I call you stupid. Yeah, exactly. When, like, I made a video about that the other day when I was like, when men are, like,

like, oh, look how ugly this person is, whatever. And I'm like, okay, so that whole argument would mean that I am hurt because you said you don't want to fuck me. Right. I don't care. Did you ever think about the fact that I don't want to fuck you either? No, never.

That thought never causes. It's only one way. And then when I go, will you, like, quite literally look like someone drew you from memory? So I don't care about you. Like, genuinely, like, you make me sick. Like if you tried to touch me, I'd have to put you on your back. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Immediately. Yeah. In a violent way, not in a sexual way. Yeah. And then they go, that's too far. Yeah, like, cool it. I'm like, yeah.

Cool it, Barbie. I'm allowed to tell you you're ugly. You're not allowed to tell me. Yeah. That's why when they say, you're so ugly, I would never see. I go, same. Like, no what? God.

Because I was thinking the same thing. Believe it or not, babe, you're not really my type either. Right. You know what I mean? Right. I don't want to hook up with Stuart Little. That's on you. I'm going to start using that now.

Come on, babe. Seriously. No. And then they're like, see, this is why women like this are so toxic, like immediately. Women like this only focus on the physical. You said it first. You said it first. Let me say, oh my gosh.

That literally reminds me of today. Today I'm walking to get food with my manager. And I'm just walking across the street. People do. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever seen someone walk across the street before? It's normal.

It's fine. Looking at their phone. Like, it's literally fine. This guy is, like, turning, and he goes, you should smile. And I go. Today? Today. Oh, my God.

And I go, what the fuck did you just say? I mean? Like, fully. And then he goes, whoa. Oh, I didn't mean anything by it. And it's like, what did you mean, actually, though? Like, what did you, why are you now? The minute I say, what the fuck were you just talking about?

Yeah. Like, why did. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? talking about smile more. Who are you talking to? Me? Yeah, and then you just get this straight-up defense.

It's like the same thing. It's just online. It's like the minute we respond with some sort of anger or just anything. Distaste. Yeah, of any kind. You crazy bitch. Yeah, second, what if I am? And remember that.

I was like, hold on. If you don't remember nothing else about me, remember that. Yeah, remember that. Arson, babe. When I was like younger, I've said before, like, I was a lot crazier. in my like responses to any sort of like objectification, assault, like harassment of any kind, I would lose it almost immediately. I'd like cause a scene.

Yeah. I'd like start throwing shit. Like I was insane. So like I had to like dial it down a little bit because you can't trust anybody. True. But that's just me getting older. But at the time I'd like immediately react in like a somewhat aggressive or violent way. And they'd be like, what's your problem?

Right. Don't talk to you. You are the problem. You existing right here and breathing is my problem currently. That's my problem right now. Right. Like look in the mirror, baby. Can you alleviate that?

No. Get the . . . . . . . . get the . . . . . on my face. Like, that's what immediately. I remember one time I was in, I told this story on TikTok, like, probably right before I started really blowing up. But one time I was at a bar with one of my friends. And we're hanging out and these guys were like, oh, this is my buy you guys drinks, whatever. We're like, okay.

So, you know. You talk to them and you're like, okay, goodbye, like after a while. You're like, okay, this was nice. And they offered, right? So we let him buy drinks, whatever. This one guy wouldn't leave me alone, man. All night. He followed me everywhere.

What? All night, like all night for hours. You're a weirdo. But anyways, his friends left without him. My friend and I were trying to go home. He's like, oh, can I share an Uber? I'm like, no. Get your own.

And then he just gets in the car anyways, and he's sitting in the back with me. We're driving. And I'm like, give this man your address because you're not coming home with me. Right. No, he's like, I just want to. get to know you better. I just want to get to know you. The cringe it sends up my spine. Ew. I just want to get to know you. I just want to get to know you. Like literally would not listen to me no matter what I said. So then I finally was like, you don't want to get to know me. You want to

sleep with me. And that's not going to happen. So I swear to God, if you don't give this guy your address, I'm opening that door and I'm kicking you out on the highway. I'm letting you roll, bitch. So you decide how this ends. Yeah. And then he was like, oh, I live at one, two, three, four. immediately. Fast forward three, four months later, I got a new driver going somewhere totally different. And then he hears me talking and he goes, did I pick you up from this bar like three, four months ago? I go, I don't know. Weirdo. Right. And then he goes, no, I remember because I picked you up and you were with a girl and a guy and the guy was like harassing you. He listened to that entire conversation and he said he was thinking to himself because I was really drunk at the time. I was over the age of 21, but, you know, he said he was concerned that this guy.

I was going to try to take advantage of me. Right. And then, because I was going, no, no. Like, I was being nice-ish. And then he goes, and then you like flipped out. And I started screaming. And then I said, actually, pull over. Pull over right here.

Yeah. And he pulled over and I said, get out. And he got out. And he was like, oh, can I get you number? I literally reached over and close the door. I said, roll this window up. Oh, my God. Right?

And then we took off. And he goes, I've never seen anything like that. I was thinking like, oh, I'm probably going to have to save this girl. And then you started screaming on him and it made me laugh. And he said, he remembered me. because of my voice But that's my point That's my point right there

That's the shit we have to do To survive Was the Uber driver a guy? Yeah It's also like if you were so concerned Why didn't you do anything? And I literally said I'm like Well you didn't say anything

Almost the entire ride He goes well I just figured you know And then after it happened He goes well I figured you had it covered See what I'm saying You guys don't do anything You want to spell all day about protection And it's a man's job to protect

Is it? Is it because you sit there You let your bros and everyone say the most disgusting things. And he was. You watch your friends assault other people in the club and you just sit there. Or verbally abuse them, emotionally abuse them, yep. Yeah, and you're fine with that. And they sit there and they watch.

And then as soon as I lose it, it's too far. And he literally was like, I calm down. Like, you don't have to. And the only reason I lost it eventually was because it started getting progressively more disgusting. Right. And then I was like, as soon as it hit a point, I was like, no, we're done. Right. And I lost it, lost my mind.

And that's fine. And my friend was, like, laughing. Because she was, she had my back the whole time. But again, we're both two women were alone. Yeah. At night, like two in the morning. And there's two other men in the car. One of them's the driver.

So it's one of those things where you, they don't listen to anything but force. That's so true. Yeah. That's so, it just reminds me of the time. Like, my friends and I went out to eat at this restaurant in Chicago. And it's a fondue place. I don't remember the name. But if you're watching, you suck.

And just like the whole staff was just like all over us. Just like like they wouldn't leave us alone. Like the servers were sitting at our table eventually. And then they purposely wouldn't give us a check. We got there at 8 p.m. It was midnight by the time the check came and it was already closed. And then they were like, oh, like let's go to this club. Let's go to this club.

Like they took my friend's phone, put an Uber in. Also I was like, you're making her pay for the Uber. He's like, you got it, right? And it was just, like, crazy. And it was, like, everyone working was watching this. And not saying anything. Not saying anything. Like, they were just letting these guys just, like, harass us and sit with us.

And, like, some, one of the guys was like, do you guys want Coke? And we were like, what? What? Like, we're just trying to go out to dinner. We're just trying to, like, have a girl's night. Yeah. And they just would not leave us alone. Like, one of them touched my friend's hair.

The other one, like, sat by me and, like, grabbed my knee. It was just like what the hell. And like as much as I want to be like in those situations, which a lot of times I'm like stop it. Yeah. It was just one of those moments where I was just like feeling vulnerable. Paralyzed. Yeah. I don't because like when you go somewhere, you want to feel protected by the people that are at least working.

Yeah, that are working. Yeah. And it was like, nobody there cared. And so it was like after midnight we're the only ones there. Yeah. And we had to run out of the restaurant. Yeah. Because you don't want to be followed and stuff.

Yeah. Like the guy called the Uber and he walked. the back and we were like we have to go right now and we ran out got in the uber and we were like go and like they came running out scary yeah and then they had asked for my friend's number and she was just kind of like like I don't like didn't know what to do yeah gave it to them and they were like calling and texting like where are you bitches at and it was like it's just crazy see what I mean like I had like an interaction once with a dude at a gym he like would not leave me alone like every time I went wouldn't leave me alone, constantly talked to me. He saw my boyfriend one time work out with me and then I would

just go about myself typically and he always came at the same time as me. And then he started asking me a lot about him. Whereas he had, is he still in your life? I'm like, what do you care? My, what do you want to date him? Here's his number. Leave me alone. So I started getting really annoyed. And then one day he followed me out to my car and tried to follow me home. And that's when I was like, I can't do this anymore. So like, and then it's, and that's my gym. Like, where am I supposed to go. I didn't have another gym at the time. Right. So then I told my boyfriend the story and he's like, I'm going to go with you tomorrow.

And so we go and I'm like, you're not going to say anything, right? Because I just didn't, I didn't want it to escalate to anything. Right. And he was like, no, not at all. And then we go and he sees him, walks right up to him, starts talking to him immediately because he's angry and I, you know. Yeah. I, if to be honest with you, I'd never been with a man who had done something like that for me. No.

Like actually intervened and did something about it. And it got a little special. icy but not really because as soon as he realized like my boyfriend is like with the shits he was like okay okay right listen man i just don't even you know what i mean like hopped immediately like bitched out whatever but the point is that it didn't stop until he intervened do you see what i'm saying like no matter how many times i told him to leave me alone no matter how many times and i'm feeling vulnerable too because i go by myself and then i'm like what if he follows me out to my car so i couldn't immediately this is on my my new phase of not being insane if someone harasses me so i'm trying to like keep

it under wraps, but it's harder for me. I don't know. I love the insanity. You just never know, like, what they're going to do. And that's the reason why I dialed it back in the first place. Yeah. But then that's the situation where I'm talking about. Like, he didn't stop until a man intervened. Right.

That's horrible. Why do I need someone else to intervene on my behalf for you to take it seriously? Right. And it's gross. It's always another man. It doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter at all. Yeah.

If a man comes and says something, oh, I'll listen. Yeah. Like, do you guys want to kiss? Even though I said multiple times, I've been hit on before in public places where my boyfriend was with me, but he was next to me. Yeah. And then when he came back, they're like, oh, sorry, bro. I didn't know.

Right. Didn't apologize to me. Apologized to him. Right. Like, oh, my bad. I didn't know she was yours. Bro, what are you on? That's literally it.

It's literally it. They do not see you as a person. Exactly. As an extension of a man. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, they just really want to kiss them. Man, and like, oh, my God. A lot of these dudes, I wouldn't put it past them.

Happy pride. With my boyfriend specifically, like, some of them, like, that's why I said. It's like this almost really intense, like, want, like, desire to be him. Yeah. But then at the same time, they have, like, they don't have it in them to be disrespectful to him because he's, like, an alpha. Right. Whatever that means. So them.

Who knows? Whatever the hell that means. But then all that shit happens to us. We have so many thousands of stories like that, as many other people do. And then they wonder why we don't derive any confidence. Right. You wonder why you're worthless to me in that department? Right.

I don't need you for that. You know what I mean? Exactly. It's like we can get angry and we can yell at them and that won't even matter because they're going to keep doing it. That's what I'm like, they provide like terrible men like that provide nothing to me. No, nothing. But most especially validation. Right.

Oh, right. Especially that. God, and they think it's such a compliment if they call you pretty or something. And it's like, honestly, that's kind of the worst thing I've heard today. Yeah. Like, if a man like that calls me pretty,

I'm like, oh, man. Ruin my day. Now I've got to go home and I got to think about this. Like, go ahead. No, maybe I've got to switch up my look. You know what I mean? Get a new look entirely. God damn it.

I didn't need that. Okay, so just to wrap this up, what do you want people to know when it comes to confidence overall or whether it's in yourself and like who you want to be where you're going what have you. I mean like I kind of said before, confidence isn't easy. It's a journey. You're not going to achieve it overnight.

And even if you've been working on it for years and years and years, it's not always going to be consistent. Yeah. And that's okay. Yeah. It's not a reason to get down on yourself. It's not a reason to feel like all that work was for nothing. Yeah. There's days I feel like that.

And I have to be like, Chris, What the heck? Yeah. Like, girl, you're fine and it's okay. But, like, there is nothing more freeing and beautiful and rewarding than just being yourself and living as yourself and living yourself. Or living, loving, hello, doesn't matter. Like, that is where I have found my most freedom is figuring out who Chrissy is and loving

every single bit of her. Absolutely. Even the ones that aren't the best and even the part. to me I need to work on still. Yeah. Like it's just having compassion, I think. Absolutely. And like, it's okay to have compassion. It's okay to talk to yourself, especially. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay to talk to yourself. Like you're talking to your younger stuff. Oh my God. I talk to that girl all the time. I'm like, I'm so sorry. You went through a lot and you didn't need to and that's okay. And like, she's still in you. That younger version of you is still there. Yeah. And if it helps to like talk to them directly,

like even if you think it's like silly. Yeah. It's worth that. Absolutely. And I say to that, just to build off what you said, when it comes to like any sort of validation, specifically when it comes from men, nothing was more freeing to me than letting that go. Oh, God. Yeah. When you leave your pick-me phase, we've all been a pick-me-me-face.

We've all been a pick-me-me-hmm. Some are still in there, RIP. We pray for you. Yeah, pour one out. They're gone. You know what I mean? But like, we've all been to pick-me at one point or another. but freeing myself from the validation of men

really let me love myself and become myself really because patriarchy and misogyny is so much stronger and so much more rampant than you think. Yes. And then when you unlearn a bunch of shit that you, beauty standards is one of them. And that's another reason why you lack self-confidence in the first place is because you're trying to adhere

to a Eurocentric beauty standard. You know what I'm saying? So like that kind of stuff, oh man, that freed me. It's the same reason why I said, like I don't argue with men who want to like debate me. I'm not going to debate you about my existence, but we're not doing that. That kind of thing like, you know, arguing with them or trying to, that I've said before, that stems from male validation.

Yes. Because you want them to see you and understand you and hear you and empathize with you and they can't. They're not going to. And it makes you upset. And they're choosing not to and they never will. Right. So when you unlearn that and you unpack that you're like, they're not going to hear me no matter what I say.

So instead I'm going to tell you to eat my ass, that's way more effective. efficient if you will right they listen to it and they get mad and then you block them exactly there you go letting go of that just letting go let it go of the perception of men and what they think and god like everything like nothing has been more freeing nothing has felt better yeah embracing your you can really like come into who you really want to be right you let that go because that's it's not just in like in beauty standards it's in like the workplace it's in your education. It's in all kinds. It's in every different field like misogyny and patriarchy.

Yeah. Do you let that go? Oh, man. Freeing, you can fly. Look at me and Chrissy. We're doing it right now. Look at us. Just doing it for yourself. Just do it for yourself. Nobody else. You deserve it. You deserve it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So I want to thank the wonderful, amazing Chrissy. I adore you forever. I love you so much. Seriously.

Chrissy's just as pretty in real life as she is on camera. That's facts, babe. Stop it. Keep going. See, confidence. I love you so much. See, you can get your validation from me. That's fine.

Right. Boom. And I will get it from you. I'll be like, hey, Drew, what do you think of my outfit today? And I'll answer it. Fire. Without even seeing it, I know it's fire. Oh, stop it.

So I want everyone to make sure you go follow Chrissy on all platforms. Where can everybody find you? All of it. Instagram, Twitter. TikTok. What's next? TikTok. You too.

Oh, and Spotify. Love! Yeah, I was going to say, do you have any other projects or anything you want to promote? Yeah. So I am working on my pop star era and my music career, and it's just another thing that is so fulfilling to myself and my inner child, because that is my main goal. Yeah. And my single is coming out in a couple months, and I can't wait to share it with you guys. It's super cutesy and gay and everything you would expect from me. We love. Absolutely love.

Oh, I'm so happy for you. Thanks, God. Chrissy is truly a star. Like, I'm so excited for her to be in her pop star era. That's where she's meant to be. Love. And I'm ready. Absolutely adore you.

Thank you, everyone, for watching this episode. Make sure you go follow Chrissy on all her platforms. Make sure you stream her music when it comes out. I will be the first to do it as well. And if you enjoy this episode of the comment section, make sure you stream new episodes every Wednesday. They come out on the Past Your Bedtime YouTube channel. You can subscribe there.

And you can also stream it on all streaming platforms like Spotify, where Chrissy's single will be. So make sure you guys tune in. Make sure you follow Chrissy. Thank you so much for joining me today. Absolutely love you. And I'll see you next week. Bye.