The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - LOW-GRADE HORNY Ft. Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick | Episode 243

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

Kendahl Landreth & Jordan Myrick return for another SPOOKY SEASON episode!! In a King George costume with half-torn pants, Drew talks to Kendahl & Jordan about gall bladders getting removed, a surprise episode callback gift, Jordan getting shamed by a teacher for eating a sandwich in college, the Skarsgard acting lineage, why not everyone needs to try banter, Kendall running a pressure campaign for high school homecoming queen, the insane plot of Anaconda, and so much more. Kendahl IG: https://www.instagram.com/kendahllandreth/?hl=enJordan IG: https://www.instagram.com/jordanmyr1ck/?hl=enFollow The Comment Section on IG: https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/?hl=en Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You'll be like, oh, okay, stupid. And then you're like, oh, oh, let me guess. You can dish it out, but you can't take it. Every lover I've ever went in. They're just insulting you. Always. And I'm like, we haven't done any jokes yet. I haven't been like you.

We're just meeting. Oh, are we starting now? But yeah, it's always kind of like, oh, you dished up. You can't take it. Men love to say that. You know, but you can't take it. Welcome back to another episode of the comments section show, starring me, your Fave, everybody knows me who cares about me.

On to the guest. Today we have an iconic all-star, my favorite couple personally, Kendall and Jordan. Hello. We're so excited to be here. Oh my God, welcome back, my favorite newlyweds. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, we're both newlyweds, low key.

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No credit card, no borrowing logins, no free trial you forget about, and then somehow pay for until you're old and gray. The best things on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never. about to say and if we can start with a surprise for you let's we brought you a gift oh my god it was just your birthday we have a little something for you oh love to know see one one thing about lesbians they're always going to have something to give me oh we're very classy whether it's a crystal or anything in between oh it's wrapped so cute rounder by tendil she's so good at that kind of

i am so sorry that i'm dressed this way as i open this gift no this is that was intended for oh my goodness no fucking it's a hobbs and shop Munko Pop. Our favorite movie. Our favorite movie. Our favorite movie. I was like, you know what? What do you get the woman that has everything?

I tried to get you the duo. The people kept canceling my Mercari orders. They would not send me the duo. I could only get the Hobbs, not the Shaw. Well, and then when it came. It came and the box was all ripped up. That was not how the picture was. Honestly, this is so fucking.

And if you can believe, I actually have Munko Pop's from other, like. Like, they were gifts, but like they're from other like really funny times in my life. So this is so fucking good. But you don't have this one. No, I don't. Thank God. But I do have Black Adams. So technically that was the rock.

So I had the other one. I got to get all the rock punk about. You know me. I do PR for him on my off days. Yeah. I moonlight as his assistant. Oh my God. Thank you guys.

Of course. Congratulations. Thank you. If you take anything into your marriage, let it be that. Yeah. Let it be this Hobbs funco. Oh my gosh, the sweetest people ever. Thank you so much.

I love that. And I also feel the need to mention I am, just so you guys know, I am King George. That's my, that's my costume for today. Now the reason why I'm glad you asked. It's because when I was younger, I had to do this thing called the Wax Museum Project when I was in fifth grade. And you had to pick someone that you admire in history. And you literally had to like do drag as them essentially, but you had to write like an essay and all this stuff.

And I picked King George the third. Now, you're probably. asking, you admire him? No, of course not. When I was a kid, I had like a really weird fixation on the English monarchy. And King George III is like arguably one of the worst kings in British monarch history. And unpacking and looking back, I think I was obsessed with him because I'm like, wow, all that privilege, all that wealth squandered. You really got a layup of a century and you really boofed it. Yeah. Yeah. But he ruled for a long time. And I remember I did a whole thing on him. and my teacher was like,

I think she should pick someone else, like, called my mom, and my mom was like, is it against the rules? Yeah. And she was like, well, no. And then my mom was like, well, then let her do it. Who's the fuck?

So I literally was the only girl who genderbend. I was the only one who cross-dressed. And I talked in a British accent all fucking day. Which I'm sure was perfect. Yes, it was flawless and also not required in any way shape or form. But at the end of the day, I am a performer. So this is actually Laura's idea.

Laura was like, you should be King George. Yeah. It's a full circle. Your teacher's gonna see footage of this and be like, God, she's so obsessive. She's still carrying that bit from over 20 years ago. And also, I have to say to these pants do not fit me. I did not try on the costume prior to filming.

So Carrie had to cut a big old hole in the back in their prop pants. Yeah. At this point, I can't cross my legs and I can't move. God willing, the fire alarm doesn't go off. I'm in trouble. Yeah, somebody grab a robe. These pants will be staying in here.

Yeah, exactly. They'll be left behind. Remember when I abandoned you in that movie theater? Oh, my God. Kendall and I and a bunch of our friends, I think our producer Kate was there. We went to see the new Candyman movie. Okay. Because the original one's one of my favorite movies, and we went to see it.

And there's a big row of us sitting in the back of the AMC6. AMC A list. Of course. Yes, of course. All lesbians, yes, of course. Of course. And so the alarm goes off for, I mean, one second. It's done one Wii U.

and that's it. Kendall gets up and runs out of the theater. No shoes on for some reason. She'd taken off her shoes during the movie. She definitely came there in shoes. Yeah, she had shoes on at one point. And she got up and she ran out of the theater. And then after one or two of the alarm sounds, they turned it off.

And she had to slowly walk back into the theater and up the stairs with no shoes on. Hey, hey. After having left me to die. I know. You said I went to go get help. Yeah, for us. Exactly. You know, she's like going across everyone to get back to us in the center aisle.

And then she's like, I'm so sorry. I thought there was an active shooter. And I'm like, that's actually not an excuse to be in. So that's actually worse, given the context. It's actually kind of worse now. Yeah. And I just, I realized, I think I wish, I really wish I was someone who had good survival instincts, but I've learned through a couple moments in my life.

The second I think I might die, I accept it way too quick. Like, well, anytime we've been on planes where there's a bit of turbulence and I fully have accepted, I'm not even anxious, I'm just like, this is the end. That's fair. That's real. You were running out of the theater to run toward the active shooter. Take me and my wife's too there. I was like, hey, I'll save you some time. I'm right here.

I'll save you some time. Yeah. Well, how have you guys been? How's it been since the last time we gushed about Hobbs and Shaw? Oh my gosh. What have we been up to? Well, you've been, Jordan, poor Jordan, can I say what's going on? I'll let you say it.

Getting her gallbladder removed. Dang. I'm sick as a dog. It's a month. Oh, no. Out of the hospital. All these things. Of course, the first day I went to the doctor.

I was like, I think my gallbladder's messed up. They were like, no. Stupid bitch. And I was like, okay. And then now, you know, six months later in there, like, oh, it's your gal bladder. You have to have it removed. So I'm getting it removed on the 16th. Ooh.

And I'm very excited. That's kind of one of my things of big news. But we really tried to get it. We tried to get it together for a big costume for this. It's all right. You know, we did two Halloween shirts. And that, you know what, is more than enough. That's more than enough.

I never pressure anyone to dress up because I'm like, I'm going to look a mess, but it's up to you guys. No, you look incredible and I wish you were wearing the exact same costume as you. Imagine. So next time we come on, we'll all be dressed exactly. Yeah, yeah. In this exactness. So no one gets us confused anymore. I'm so tired of that.

It really is, so, like, they have to stop asking young children to pick their favorite person from history. Like, it's too, because I had to give a speech similarly, I was supposed to give a speech on my favorite person in history when I was a kid. And I picked Abraham Lincoln. Literally what? And I'm just like, that's the only person from history I knew. Imagine you said, well, that was my first gay representation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's why I felt drawn to him. To him, exactly. Well, I know you're also writing a novel. That's what I was going to say. I am. Okay, fiction lady. I know. Two book deal.

Right. Look at you. Congratulations. Everyone gave our hand. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. So exciting. How has that been?

It's been incredible. It is like, you know, writing porn. Can I? Let's talk about it. Because I'm writing fiction books right now too. Really? Yes, girl. I sold my books last year.

I'm doing like grandestasy like, but I'm basing it off like Polynesian like lore. Oh, cool. Legend and lore. Oh, yeah. Is it sexy? Yes. There's definitely smut in it because I'm grown up. Yeah, yeah.

Because I'm grown up every time I read a book and they say that there's, it's like YA kind of smut. So it's just like they pan to the fireplace. I get pissed. off. I'm a grown-up kiss right now. What the fuck. Exactly. When I started writing, I said, I want to write a book I would read. And I'm not

going to read a book that doesn't have smut in it. I'm an adult. Like, it makes me feel. And I actually think I'm judgmental sometimes when there's a fade to black scene. I'm like, to the author, I'm like, grow up. Yeah, grow up. I'm trying to see something. But it is really, have you gotten to writing those sex scenes yet? I've just

started, I've done like a tiny bit where it's more so like sexual tension and like making out like heavy, petty. That's what they call it. Heavy petting. So I've done those. And even that, it's a little hard.

I feel like the creepiest pervert in the world. Yeah. Sitting there on my laptop thinking, hmm, I feel like that you ever seen 10 things I hate about you? Yeah. You know, where the principals writing like smut in her office

and she's like bulge, hmm, that's how I feel. Yes. Well, it's so hard because it's such a mental game because you start writing it and then, I'm sorry,

I know your mom's here. That's all right. She's heard worse. But you get a little horny because you're writing it. And then you're like, okay, well, that I can't relate to you. Okay, then you got to tell if I get there. You got a crank. I'll let you know if I get there.

I'll let you know if I get there. You're going to hit the gas on it. You should be horny. I will say Kendall is a sexual machine. She is built unlike anyone else I've ever met. A sexual machine. Of course I'm writing. I'm getting horned up.

So I say, all right. I know I'm cooking with gas here. This is good. But then you got to keep, you can't fix it. You're like, I got to stay in this. Right, right. So you're horny. low grade horny nine hours of the day.

But you can't fix it because then what will you do? Right. And then you come back the next day to write your book. Resume said horniness. You read what you wrote before and you actually want to call the police on your son. Because I read in your eye. I was in heat when I wrote this. Exactly.

Uh-oh. Do you know when you, and I'm so sorry to your mother. It's all right. No worries. You want, okay, you're masturbating. I don't know if you talk about this stuff on the show, but masculine. Women's health.

I'm sorry. Women's health, sorry. This is a G-rated podcast. You're masturbating and then you, something happens and you orgasm. And then the porn you're watching, you're like, something happens and then you orgasm. That is the orgasm. Right. That is the orgasm.

So you're masturbating, you're watching anything. Poolside orgy. Yeah. Don't call me out like that. Someone's watching poolside orgy. Oh, one time. You saw that I googled that one time. And then I keep clicking on it over.

and over again. Oh, Jesus. And the second you come, you go, oh my God. Yeah, yeah, that moment of clarity. Who would watch this? Yeah. And that's exactly when you go back to read what you wrote. Even when I, when you think about things you say, like in active, whether you're masturbating or an active sex. Yeah. And then afterwards, you're like, I don't know who the fuck that was. I just, that was the devil. That was the devil. Sometimes, have you ever said something kind of on accident? You know what I mean? You say it and it's not something you ever said before. And then you're like, That's crazy that I said that. I'll put you on blast now, can I?

I'm so scared. I don't know what it is at all. Clearly, I was just, well, I don't care. Then we can cut it afterwards if you want. Okay. One time during sex, Kendall said, I love that big pussy to me. I forgot.

And I was like, horrible, that was the worst thing. What? Excuse me? I love that big wolf pussy. I love that big, Big in what way? What are you talking about?

Hold on. Big in energy. Big in energy. Yeah. But I was like, what are you? And I was actually really respectful, really cool

in the moment. I said, I'm not going to say anything. So I just said, no, that's like a post-mortem. That's like a, hey, so let's talk about, let's do performance review.

Yes. What did you love and what did I hate? I'll start. I hated big pussy. Yeah, I was confused by big pussy. You didn't hate big pussy. You said you, you noticed big pussy. I noticed it.

I certainly noticed it. It just felt. It gave me more questions than answers, is what I'll say about it. So what did you mean by big? Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't have any.

It just kind of just came out. I was just to do a free flow, free association. Yeah, I thought we were just like word associate. Yeah, we're just, we're experimenting with new adjectives.

Yeah, kind of they're doing, you know, freestyle slam poetry, basically, whatever comes to her mind. I do talk too much. I talk too much. I just really let it.

You're a big talker. Oh my God. In it, in it. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't have the vocabulary for it. I'll tell you that. Well,

Sometimes I, it's like, I'm not even there. I'm like, she's up there. She's just kind of giving a speech. I'm like, I don't need to be here, but that's fine. But it's a performance. Well, she liked Dave Lincoln is a Gettysburg address. That's the type of shit she's dealing. The Pussy'sburg address.

She said, big pussy a dress. Yeah. Exactly. Okay, so you're, but the zombie books are going well. Oh, it's wonderful and amazing. I mean, it's the most stressful thing I've ever done, but it is, it's incredible. It's so fun. I mean, I'm not saying my book.

It is incredible. I'm sure it's incredible. It's been very fun and I'm very excited about it. And even Dase has told me she's taken a lot of book recommendations from you as well because all the books you like to read her staff, which she was like, yeah. Because she doesn't like the ones I read because she's like, too many straight people. And every time I tell her, oh, I'm really loving this book, she's like, is it anything gay in it? And I'm like, unfortunately no, she's like, forget it then.

I've become, the way I intake media is so sad because I refuse. I can't hold interest on anything that doesn't have gay people in it. it. Lesbian specifically. She's the same. But there's so little that pretty much the only shows I watch are shows I do not really like, but I'm just like pushing through to get to the kissing scenes. And then there's shows that I know I'll hate so much that all I do is watch clips on YouTube of like the kissing compilation. You're so sick. All kisses season one. Yeah. And I know because that's what I've done before too as well. I do want to say too, I just saw Jordan a clip of y'all on your podcast when you were talking about the healthcare system.

Oh my God. Like you go to the doctor. I think something's wrong with me. Do you want to tell the joke? I think it was really funny. It's just like, you know, you go to the doctor and the joke. It's just her life. It's literally you just off the dome and it made me laugh so hard.

I favorite it. It's just like, you know, you go to the doctor and they're like, why are you here? And you're like, something's wrong. I'm sick. And they're like, you're sick and you came to the doctor. You're so fucking stupid. Like, what's wrong with you? Why are you here?

You're an idiot? Like, what do you mean you're at the doctor? But then if you don't go to the doctor and then you, you know, whatever, something happens, you have to go to the ER. They're like, why didn't you go to the doctor six months ago? We're going to shoot you with a gun. It's just like there's no, you can't do anything right in the American medical system. There's no winning. And everything you do, they act like you're so stupid.

And Kennell and I talk about this all the time. But I feel like we're constantly asking people, especially in a medical setting, questions that they will act like they've never, not only never heard the question, but never heard any of the words in the question individually. Ever in their life. Literally nowadays, you go to any store. And you're like, where's the bathroom? And it's a person who looks like they were pulled off the street and thrown into a uniform. And they're like, bathroom? Bathroom.

I don't know. No, tub's here. I said, no, like a bathroom with a toilet. They're like, a toilet, a toilet, a toilet. It's crazy. I don't know. I know. In the clip, you're like, you call someone.

You're like, I'd like to make an appointment. And they're like, appointment. Now, what is that. Literally. An appointment? Literally, like, what anything is. And I think half the time you're talking to AI, so I think that's like, what the problem is.

And we cannot get charged by that shit all the time. Oh my God. Our poor producer Kate is always having to be like that picture's AI, that phone calls AI. It's now getting to a point though where it is hard to tell, which is the scary part. Like before when it was like everyone had seven fingers, you're like, okay, obviously this is AI. Now though, it's like gotten to a point where I'm like, okay, I need to like, I'm feeling like a boomer. Well, and I always gammed at a thousands of dollars. And I always struggled.

I was sending you stuff that was, I remember the sandcastle hotel. Oh my God. Kendall sent me this hotel. It was a video of a hotel. This was like a year ago, so it was very clearly I. It was, the text on it was like the world's only sand castle hotel fully made of sand. I lost my mind. You have to take me here.

I said, sorry, I love you. You're stupid. It's crazy. You got this real. When you guys are an old couple, like, you're going to have to watch her phone activity. She's going to get stamped by a Nigerian prince. When we hit 45, we're going into a home and they're taking their technology. like we are just trying to make enough money to get to a level where we can be put in a nice facility.

And a nice care facility. Yeah, because we need it. Well, tell I, I'd love to know how's the podcast going. How's everything? I love your podcast. That was one of my favorite ones I've gone on. That's so nice. We always love you doing anything.

And we're so happy that we've had you on the podcast. And yeah, it's going well. We're going on tour in 2020. Oh my gosh. How exciting. I know we're excited. Do you all like tour? Have you toured before?

Well, I feel like you have because of it. Jordan loves to tour. I tour. I tour still regularly. I was going to say. I was going to say. I was going to say. It's like one of my big, you know, sources of income.

So I tour all the time and I love it. I'm built for it. Touring with the upright Citizens Brigade is my first job out of college. So I've been doing it for forever. Very good. I love it. Kendall hates it. I get a little nauseous.

If I, I don't like being on the plane and off the plane. I just know, I like my routine. I don't know. It's just a lot for me. I get really sick and I feel like I break out. And so I hate it. But I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to.

You're so me. I feel the same way about the physical act of touring, but I do like performing in other places. Like that's always fun. Yeah, once I'm on the stage, it's, oh, it's so fun. It's the getting there that is like a task and a half. But I really struggle.

I'm really similar to my nephew. He's four, but I like, we have like the same routine where it's like, okay, I wake up at the exact same time and Jordan hands me an uncrestable. And then I eat my uncrestable. And then I go and I do the exact,

everything is so the same. I have the same lunch every day, this same dinner every day. Right. I use the bathroom at the same time. You know what I mean? I just, I don't like stuff change.

I'm not a big fan of change. No. I guess is my problem. Yeah. I feel the same way, especially about tour, when we went on a like nationwide tour for my book and like we did like 22 cities, like 22 dates,

that was like hell on earth for me. Performing was awesome. But I did say like I felt like I was on the run. The whole time. I just like only could change my underwear and wipe all the surfaces. That's all I was allowed to do. And then I'd wake up in a new city. I'm like,

But then when I would get on stage, I'd feel like awesome and I'd love to perform. But I, glam was starting to get to a point where I was like, because, like, my hair makeup artist glammed both me and my sister. And I remember, like, he would be like, okay, yeah, like, let's start glam. We'd have to start one of us. And then I'd be like, Tase, you go first. You go first. And then she was like, okay.

And then I started feeling like a little kid getting a haircut. Like every time I was getting my makeup, I feel like, okay. And I would be like, whatever's fastest, whatever's fastest. I don't care. Whatever's fastest. me acting like I'm being tortured. Yeah. But it's hard.

I mean, you have to have that. I don't think people realize, because I don't really wear makeup at all when I'm not working. And I think it's because I don't people, I think people realize how much makeup you have to have on. Oh my God. On stage, but especially on camera.

No dead ass. Like, if you are not contoured to the gods, you look like a fucking potato on camera. Yeah, you'll look flat as hell. It is crazy. You look 2D. Yeah, so I'm like, I'm not putting anything on my face or body. No, you're so right.

Because even when I first. did this show ever. We did like a test rehearsal thing. So I had to go and like we tried camera setups. We tried like the chairs and everything like did a whole day of shooting. And then I did like the artwork and all that. And I remember before like on our way to the studio, my mom was like, are you going to hire a hair and makeup artist for the show? And I go, I mean, I'm pretty good in my hair and makeup. Like I can do it myself. And then we went, I was on these kinds of cameras all fucking day. Then at the end of day my mom goes, I think you should hire someone. Yeah. And she was right. And she was right. And then I go, damn, you think. You think.

And then I go and I watch the footage, I said, yeah, I need to. Yeah. Well, I love when I see something, you know, because we don't get professional glam most the time unless we're actually shooting like a TV show like something like drop out or like whatever. Big time, yeah. Yeah, just because we're like, you know, we're cheap. But so like. It is expensive.

It's so expensive. And I will see comments about, you know, either one of us where it's like, we'll be in something where we have full glam and they'll be like, wait, like Jordan is glowing. Wait, Jordan is having a massive glow up right now. And then like two days later something will come out of me. where I look normal like myself and don't have that much makeup on and I'll be like, what happened? Oh my God.

Are you okay? I'm like, yeah, it's professional makeup. Well, yes, it's going to alter how I look kind of. Well, yes. It's a gay man doing the Sistine Chapel on my face. I know, and I got lucky with Adam because Adam is like my cousin and then I hired him early on. So like, and he can do both, which is rare. But before I brought him on full time, though, I would like, sometimes.

he wouldn't be available so I'd have to like hire someone else and when I would look oh my god what they charge even to just do hair I like really got lucky with him doing both because most people have to hire too and like it's expensive oh my gosh to do and I'm like I just want to look presentable on camera whatever I was like I guess I can do it we got to change these cameras there's too many ds on these cameras yeah we got to do we got to do iPhones you got to fill me off iPhones and even that camera's getting too getting too strong now let me start I just told this story on the last episode, but I'll tell you guys again. Please.

Recently, I was on FaceTime with Jason and I was like bitching about something. I was complaining. I was like, oh my God, it's so annoying. And she's like, yeah, she's doing something. I'm doing something. And I just got out of the shower. So I had a towel on. And then I was about to take my towel off to like lotion up.

But then when I saw the camera, I was like, oh, my God, I'm on FaceTime. So I tilted it upwards. And then I took off my towel. I'm still talking. I hang it. I go back. I forgot about that face tracking shit on the new updated thing. So it tracked my face, both my tits out.

I'm standing there at the counter going, yeah. And then I'm like talking and then bouncing around. Literally with emphasis. And then Dase like goes off camera and then she goes, hey, dude. And I go, oh my God, oh my God. Oh my God. I just looked at myself. I was like, oh my God.

And then I was so humiliated. I forgot what I was mad about. Are you not a naked family? I'm not. It's so funny you bring that up. It's so funny you bring that up. That shocks me. Because Dason literally was telling my mom the other day.

She was like, well, and also, Drew like, she's not a naky girl. Like, I'm a naky girl. Like, I don't care. Yeah, she is, is your mom? No, I mean, yes, and not really. Medium. Okay. You asked me to take off all my clothes right now, I do. She's hoping you do. I don't. She's

actually, yeah. I love being naked. Yeah, she loves it. I don't, I don't know what it is. I got weird. I honestly and don't diagnose me, because I know one of you is going to. I, stop it. I got real weird about nudity. Like, as a child, I just like really, I'm like, only I want

see it like but even then I told Dason this the other day I'm like did I ever tell you when I was a kid like after puberty whenever I would get in the shower I would get completely nude and I would never look at myself in the mirror almost like I was going to turn to stone I don't know what I was afraid of yeah I was just like I'm just not going to look I'm just not going to look I just like never ever looked at myself until I was probably like 17 until you're on that face time yeah and I said oh my god I'm beautiful yeah I mean I think there is a certain level of kind of like self-realization you can have when you yourself fully naked. I will never forget. One time I came home from something. I was wearing

like a dress or whatever. I was living in New York so it was like so hot. I like took off my dress, took them off. And then I caught like a side angle of myself in a like full mirror that I had hanging on the back of my door. Fully nude. All I was wearing was a fit bit and sneakers with socks from the side. Why was your dress off before your shoes? I think I was just so hot that I was like, I'm ripping this thing off. Like I don't even know how it happened. It just because I'm also a shoes off at the front door kind of guy. So something had happened in this. situation where I was like, I'm not okay. I need to like get undressed immediately.

But yeah, just caught this angle of myself. And I was like, if I, I'm beautiful, if I ever see this exact image again, I will be forced to end my own life. It was haunted. And that's on y'all. Yeah, it was haunted. And that's on you.

It was wrong. I shouldn't have seen it. Oh, yeah. We were a naked house. I feel like you were freaked out the first time he came over and I was walking around and my underwear in front of my dad. And you were like, this is shit. I don't know what.

It's my dad. I think your dad wants to have sex with you. And it's not like my, it's not like I've never been in my underwear around my dad. I just think, I don't know. I don't know. I don't have an answer. Rest in peace, your dad. I don't have an answer.

Yeah, yeah. I honestly feel similar to that. I felt like even when I went to college, I remember Dason told me this story when she went to freshman orientation. She got roomed randomly with this girl, like when they were just learning about the school. And she said, yeah, I was like, she was kind of talking to me. And I was like, my back was facing her. and then when I turned around, she turned around and she was standing there completely

topless and she had just met her like seconds before that. So she was when she told me that story, I was like, oh, they're not going to get me. So then when I went to college, when I went to college and I was like, if I have a roommate, that's inappropriate. And I'm also like just for cultural context, like I'm someone. So like nudity is not a bad thing necessarily, but like it is a thing to be like somewhat covered, especially around elders like in certain cultural situations. Like even boys and girls are not allowed.

to sleep in the same rooms, like, when we have, like, summer parties and stuff like that. So it's like, that's also a cultural context that I think I was leaning into a little bit. But when I went to college, my college roommate, my freshman year, who's still my friend to the day, she was actually at my wedding. I told her, like, when we first met, she was like, oh, let's go get lunch. I'm like, awesome. She's so, like, sexually free. And she's also a naked girl.

Like, she loves me naked. As soon as we sat down, she's like, do you want to talk about, like, living together? I go, yeah, awesome. I hate nudity. So I, like, immediately was like, so like. So don't you ever. Yeah. So don't you ever fucking.

about that. The clothes you're wearing now? Get used to the clothes you're wearing now. To this day, she still laughs because she told me, when you said that to me, I remember thinking, oh, fuck, I've been sleeping naked this whole time. All right, I got to work on that. And that's why I said, and that's why I said something.

Imagine. That's true. But I will say it's more common than you think because I had the exact same situation. It is. It's so common. Where I got to my room. Yeah. And my roommate, Esther, still love her to this day.

She, her thing was, she was always lotioning herself. No matter what. She came out of the shower. naked or in a leopard print lace thong and she was lociing herself. It did not matter if my college boyfriend was in the room. It did not matter if my mom was visiting. I would have a gaggle of gay guys for my theater program in there. Esther's just squirt, squirt.

How are you guys doing? How are you just doing? Why are you listening? Her whole body. And she was, I'll tell you what, she was never dry. Never ashy. Esther was never ashy. Yeah, I don't know.

I was real weird about it. That's why when I was telling the, my boobs on FaceTime Candle's all, that was a bad thing. All right, next time I'll put mine away. So anyways, what I would love to know what's next for you guys? Obviously, book, tour, anything else exciting that's coming out for y'all? Oh, my God. What else do you work in?

I feel like y'all are so busy all the time. Well, our, this is more personal, but our chihuahua is, I would say, mentally declining. Sure. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. Well, no, she's fine. I think I just, she has no idea. I just think I always thought, well, our chihuahua, she's everything, does.

Yeah. We found her, you know, they found her on the street. She lived there for years and years. She had trashed in her teeth. She was pregnant. She's perfect. And, but I always said, oh, well, physically she'll go first. But it really gets you.

The mentally, I think she might be around for maybe 15 more years. She's got no idea what is going on. And it's gotten better. I think we got her on a new medication. Not on a new medication. We're doing some brain vitamins or something. that seemed to be working. But, you know, that's kind of a big thing going on for us right now.

I think that's great, honestly. I have two dogs. Squid and tuna. Oh, cute. Right before, well, I was telling you how the internet was trying to kill me right before my wedding. Yeah. So if that wasn't bad enough, literally, I want to say about two days before I left for

two weeks and we hired a pet sitter to come because my entire family was going to the wedding. And we flew in a pet sitter and everything. I was typing up the instructions. Literally two days before we leave, one of my dogs ripped out a toenail, trying to take my cinema roll that I made. Of course, because obviously I was,

I was going through a lot at that time, and my family made me leave the house, and of course we went to the Century City, Westfield, and I went to the Hello Kitty Buildabair, and I built a cinema roll. And then my deaf dog decided at that, that was the perfect time to rip out a toenail. I don't know if anyone's ever experienced dogs

ripping out toenails, but they bleed like crazy, And it was funny because my parents had just left. I just took 50 milligrams of weed. Of course. Because I needed to be sedated like a gorilla. And so when I was like, I was actively getting high, he rips that out. And we didn't even notice.

But then my husband was like, there's blood. There's blood like everywhere. And there was blood all over the ground. It looked like a crime scene. Like in Gone Girl, you know, and she spreads the mud. Yes. And it's like what it looked like. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God.

And we like cornered both of them. And then one of his toenails was out. I guess there's like a bunch of capillaries and shit in there. So it was bleeding like, he wasn't even reacting, like he couldn't care less. But then we were both high as fuck. And I was like, I can't go to the emergency pet right now. I can't.

So I had to call my mom. My mom comes with my dad and, like, they took my dog to the vet to go, like, get bandaged. They were there for like two hours. And that was squid? That was tuna. That's my death dog. I should have known. Yeah, and tuna's completely 100% deaf.

And even when our pet sitter, when we got back from the honeymoon, she goes, and you're sure he's deaf. And I go, yeah, because it does kind of seem like he can hear. Sometimes. Sometimes it does seem like that. It comes and it goes. I'm like, let me find out that you can hear this whole time. But even when I fostered him, I remember I took him to our primary vet just to like get a quick like checkup on MC. And right before I took him to go foster him, the owner, the previous owner was like, he might be deaf. I go, might be. You go check?

And he was like, well, I was. But then the vet said like it's like a $600 test and it's just a yes or no. And it's not really affecting his quality of life. So, like, if you want to know he can, he's like, I just have a feeling because he doesn't react to some things when I'm behind him. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I take him to the vet. I tell him the same thing. He goes, huh, okay, put him up here.

And I put him on the counter. And he's facing the vet. And he goes, I'm going to hand you this. And he hand me this big, like, metal canister of treats. And he goes, go ahead and drop that on the floor because it's all linoleum. And I dropped it. It made the loudest, like, scariest, like, scariest noise. My other dog reacted.

And he was like, he goes, yeah, he's dead. That's the test that got $600. Imagine that was $600. Imagine he took him in the back and that's what he fucking did. Well, I've been, you got to teach tuna because I've been teaching Angel American sign language. I have taught him, not actual sign language, but we have used certain hand signals to make him sit and lay down and stuff, which he does respond to. But again, I don't know. He could be tricking me.

Sure. It's one of those where sometimes he reacts and you're like, can you hear? Yeah. Maybe there's like little moments of auditory clarity. Maybe he's like partially deaf. Yeah. But then even when we did that, he goes, no, he's, he's either completely deaf or like 90% death. Wow.

And I was like, damn, really? Big old years, useless. Big old years. They're just, yeah, they're just decoration. That's more than anything. I'm sending you lots of healing vibes for ritual. Thank you. What's her name?

Angel. Oh, Angel. Because she is an angel. Yeah, she is perfect. But yeah, that's kind of our big news. We like had so much stuff going on. year Kendall was in the hospital for a while and then like we moved and our apartment we were living in fully flooded oh my god and then we moved and last time I saw you

guys at your podcast remember you guys telling me you wanted to move yes so I'm glad you guys got to move yes so truly last year it was wild last year I feel like we didn't get enough attention for yeah like after it was over we looked back and we were like we are soldiers yeah hello we need more sympathy no one's and we haven't really no one's talking about it. Like not a single fundraiser was started on our behalf. People were refusing to talk about everything you've been through. No foundations, anything. But yeah, so it was like a really hard bad year last year. And then this year we've just been like, okay, we're going to get done. So the book is a big focus. Very cool. The podcast, like I said, we're going on tour. We have three

dates so far announced all in California. We have L.A., San Diego and Orange County. And then we'll be touring all over the country. Oh my gosh. How fun. So that's really fun. And then, yeah, we have some stuff in development that like you can't really talk about. No, but we should key about because I have some other stuff too. Yes. I'm working on. Please. But I would love to key with y'all because you guys are way more well-versed than me.

Oh my God. Yeah. I would love. Tell you literally anything. Oh, we forgot my hat. Yeah. Sorry about that. Hey guys.

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Oh my gosh. Nothing too exciting. I'm also going to manifest too that your zombie novels get made into like a TV show I mean that's the dream That's the ultimate dream It's so funny too because as I've been writing it Jordan is Jordan is 80 steps ahead

Jordan is like we've already been purchased There was a bidding war And our TV show has been purchased And she comes up and she's like I met this person They're gonna be perfect for this character I'm like that side character She's got two sentences in that scene I've got the perfect person to play

You're so me She's locked in I'm not well first of all It's not crazy to think And I'm like, every book right now is getting turned into a TV show. It's true. Like, we're in a real adaptation time right now. It's true.

The way that people were hungry and had a literal bidding war between like all the biggest book companies for your books. Hello. I mean, they're not going to want to turn them into a TV show, you know? It's true. It's not wanted already. I'm manifesting it. Yeah. I literally call it that kind of like gig of like me writing a fiction book, it getting picked up turned into something.

I'm calling it my Lynn Manuel Miranda plan. Yes. So I'm like, because I'm like, yeah, you can have it. I just have to be a principal character in it. You can have it. I just have to be in it. And I'm gonna be Hamilton. So make it work.

Build the show around me. Yeah, your Lynn plan well, Miranda. There we go. Good job, a pun. And isn't King George in Hamilton? Yes, it all connects. Wow.

It's full circle. It goes straight to the top. It goes right up to the top. Okay, perfect transition. I do have fun facts about y'all. Oh my God. Yeah. Again, new ones.

These are new ones. Imagine I repeated them, though. But I always say that you can let me know if they're fun. Okay. And if not, I will be firing Amanda. So it is, it's the pressure. It's a lot of pressure is on. Yeah.

Okay. First one, it says, in college, Jordan was eating a sandwich in class. And your teacher walked by and said, I've never met a successful actor that eats sandwiches. Yes, that's true. What the fuck? That's true. I wasn't even eating a sandwich in class.

I was eating a sandwich during our lunch break. But I went to NYU for, acting. I was into school of the arts. It was very like, you know, intense. And I think, you know, it ultimately probably made me a better actor, but I do think there was also a lot of bullshit. And elitism and that. Yes. And also, you know, things I'll never forget. I, I worked at a dumpling shop near my school in college because I had to have a job. And I'm very lucky that I got to go there, but like my parents and I did have to take off, you know, take out loans that we're still paying off.

Yes, and many of the student body there wouldn't understand that, yes. I'm working at the dumpling shop. I'm like wearing the dumpling shop uniform. I'm like standing behind the counter, like taking people's orders. And some people came in for my program. And they were like, what are you doing here? They're like, diner girl, like Cinderella story. Yeah, they thought you were doing like a simple life.

Oh, are you researching? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, you're doing method. You're doing method. You're like, this is what we call a job. Exactly. Yeah. I was like, no, no, I work here.

We were like, that's crazy. So that was really interesting. But yeah, one time in my program, a teacher walked by me while I was at lunch. And I, you know, my weight has fluctuated so much. And I have a lot of autoimmune stuff. So it's never really, like, standard. But I, like, when I was younger, I was really heavy and then, like, lost a bunch of weight.

And in college, I was in New York. I was walking everywhere. Yeah. So I had lost a bunch of weight to the point where I was, like, underweight. Yeah. So just to give context to, like, when I'm receiving this feedback about the sandwich. Right, right. I'm eating a sandwich that I made from my house.

It's like a hummus and cucumber sandwich. because I didn't have any money. And I'm sitting on the floor of this acting studio, like trying to memorize lines for this class, eating this hummus and cucumber sandwich. And yeah, he walked by and he had always been nice to me. And he walked by and he was like, oh, sandwich. And I said, that's what he called to you?

Well, yes. He thinks that's your name. Yeah. He said, oh, sandwich, I'm going to see you. Oh, sandwich. I said, yeah. And he said, you know, I've actually never seen a successful actor eat a sandwich. Like just generally or?

I guess so. And I'll tell you what, when he was younger, he was the, he's not successful anymore. Right. But when he was younger, he was the star of a very famous horror movie. Oh. Interesting. It's about a big sandwich that comes in a tap sandwich. Yeah.

Oh, no, drop in the comments who you think it is. Who you think the sandwich villain is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. And I just told him, I was like, well, you'll see one one day. And it'll be me. It is so jarring. going to school and meeting rich people for the first time.

Like truly rich people. I remember, because I went to acting school in New York, and I remember meeting this girl who had started a GoFundMe on her Facebook, she posted it. And she was like, as you guys know, it is very expensive living in New York. And it's really hard to be able to, you know, have my lifestyle and then also go see Broadway shows in the road that I'd like to experience them in. Right, right, right.

And so the GoFund me was for, in my family, I've only ever seen, GoFundMe's or for funerals. Funerals, yes. That is what you. Or extreme medical costs. Yes, yes. I could not believe my eyes. And she raised like $20,000 for her to get front roads.

She said, I'm so sick of sitting in the fucking balcony. I can't take it anymore. It's orchestra or nothing. How am I supposed to study as a that's mean if I'm not in the orchestra pit? Right. That's fucking insane. So people are interesting in acting school. And I was shocked because I grew up.

I mean, my mom is an ICU nurse. My dad worked at the airport. So I grew up, I certainly never wanted. for anything. Right. But I think, yeah, going to an acting school in New York, I realized like, oh, there are people that have like, kind of a scary amount of money.

Yeah, yeah, for real. Rich was, I had, there was a rich girl in my town, and she was rich because she had a two-story house on a hot tub. And I remember being like, oh, my God. Two-story homes, I'm like, wow, how does it feel? Yeah, how does it feel? Yeah, that's how they live.

So then when you meet the real, the real ones, yeah, when you meet real money, It's honestly scary. Yeah. It's like it. Well, and also I think to myself like, I'm like, and you're going to be an actor? What are you going to pull from? They won't need to.

Got nothing. And they broke everything. Wait, actually, yeah, you're right. You answer my question. And they book everything. Oh, you're right. You're right. They don't have to worry because they have famous parents.

Yeah. This is all formality going to the school. It's a performance in and of itself. Yeah. That's the real method. Yeah. It's like that story that came out about all those famous rich parents that were like faking their kids college admission things.

Oh, yeah. Photoshopping. Yeah, they were like photoshopping pictures of them. The woman from full house. Yes. And then Felicity Huffman, who's like actually a real famous celebrity. Yeah. She's married to, I'm watching her at Shainless.

She's married to, please, the guy who's from Shainless. The dad. William H. Macy. Yeah. Oh, yes. Felicity Huffin's married to William H. Macy. Or was. She's like a real celebrity.

Right. So I was thinking, can't you guys just pay for it? Like, I'm confused why you had to lie to get them in there. Why are you going to college? Is that crazy to say? I always know. Is it going to college for if you, like, want to, like, break a cycle? Isn't that kind of what it's for?

Like, if you're rich and like, what's the college for? You need something. So you have to go to college to get the thing. Or you're like, I want to learn about something I know nothing about. Like, you know, like, you either like or like, I want to be a doctor. I have to get a degree to have that. I have to, like, change my circumstance in order to get that job. Yes.

Yeah. But then you don't need to go to a certain college for that. But that's what's so funny is I feel like all of the kids are like, well, I want to experience a normal life. And I'm like, so your parents faking you being on a rowing team and buying a school is not normal life. Okay, so we're talking about a Truman show kind of life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel the same way because like that would be to me like if you were a Nepo baby and you joined the military. Like, why would you do that shit? Right.

Why would you do that? Why would you do that? A hundred percent. And it's like, well, I just want to. In fact, honestly, if they did that, I honestly would be like, okay, maybe you don't want to be a Nepo baby if you're going into the military. military or something like that. They should do something crazy, like a nepo child. Yeah. I think there's a desire. Or be a monk or something like just something completely left and you're like, oh, okay, I guess you don't really want to be a nepo baby. And quiet. Yeah.

Go be a monk. I think that's a great suggestion. Yeah, I think sometimes people who have had no experiences are like, I want to experience something. But that's too hard. Like, like, so I want to experience it in like a 25% capacity. Sure. Like it's like as easy as you could possibly make for me, I would like to experience it. Yes. I think the same thing. I think the same. Well, I also think about Nepo babies, I'm always like, I mean, the way like, if I was a

nepo baby, bitch, the way I would be talking about it constantly. I'd be like, and my dad's going to hear about this. So I would literally be like, yeah, that's my dad. Obviously, I'm going to use the connections, obviously. If I was a nepo baby, I wouldn't be talking about it because you would not hear from me. I know. I'd be living on an island that my parents bought me and I would not have a phone. I would not have a number.

I would not be posting on social media. When I see these people, these Nepo Babies, posting on social media, like, day in my life, I'm like, don't. You have to show anyone anything. You have enough money. I have to get on the internet and show my ass because I need money. I need to sell tickets.

Well, people always ask for like, oh, do you guys get jealous of each other? I'm like, no, we are desperate for the other. The second one of the money is any amount of money, I'm done. I'm not, I am not working ever again. Oh, girl, one of us, one of us, don't care who, don't care who. This past year, we had friends that were like, you have to get like a money guy to help you. And we were like, okay, fine, so we got this money guy. And I feel like once a month we check in there with him and we're like, is it enough yet to support the two of us plus some family for the rest of our lives?

And he's like, of course not. Literally, of course not. You really don't make very much money. Can you crunch the numbers again? Yeah, he's like, you make a very normal amount of money for two adults that live in Los Angeles. What if I get a cheaper gym membership? What do we think? How can we make this so I don't have to really do this anymore?

How much meal prepping can I do until I could stop having to be on the internet? And I feel every goddamn dollar. Yes. And I feel so grateful for it. Like being on the internet has been really wonderful for us because like once again, you know, we both are very privileged in a lot of ways. We both have very accepting parents, both of the fact that we're gay and also like accepting in like what we want to do with our careers.

We have the relationships with them. We're so lucky to have that. We also like could always like move back in with either. one of our parents if we ever needed to. Yeah. So we have a lot of, you know, legs of, I got to go to NYU. Like, there's a lot of things that I have and Kendall has that other people don't have. So I don't want to, you know, make that seem, uh, not like a thing.

No, yeah. What was I saying? Well, I think you were talking about, she's very grateful. Like, yeah, you're being grateful. Like, I'm like those girls unboxing their huge Christmas halls. First of all, I just want to say, this is not to brag. This is not to brag. This is not to brag.

And if you don't like this content, go ahead and swipe. Yeah. I'm very grateful. No, I think you were talking about basically making enough money to be able to take care of people. Yeah, just if you were a baby, we'd never work. I just said, why do you want to, you know, if I didn't have to work, I would do unpaid improv. I'm sorry. That's sick.

I love it. That is your life's charity or something. Well, no, that's what I got to finish. During the day, I would just go volunteer at Hollywood Food Coalition, a place we already volunteer. I just volunteer there more. Period. And then at night, I would do unpaid improv. And then every single one of my friends would own a home that I pay for.

That's so too. Why would you not? Yeah. That's what I shocked me about billionaires. I'm like, you guys have so much money. You could literally be so popular. Well, no, I think that all the time too. I always think like that, no, like, I really do think like, and I was just joking about this

with one of my friends who's in the industry too the other day, but I was telling her the kind of money that I make is arguably cartoony considering what I do. Like, look at me, bro. Like this is what the fuck I'm doing. This is my job. And I was like, so to me, it's like monopoly money in that regard. so the whole point of it is to spend it on everyone I love. Like that's like that's the whole point.

So like being able to retire my parents, I take care of my grandfather. I take care of like my family, my other family. So like I take care of a lot of people and that's like the best fucking part of the money. And then like when I go on vacation, I can take care of everyone when we go. Like the fact of like going out to eat with like nine people that I love and then

being like I'll take care of it. Don't want to ventmo me? Don't you feel so big daddy when you do that? Oh, I'm so. I'm big boss down. bitch. Oh, I put the car down and I go, someone else goes, well, here, and I go, please. Yeah, I'm always like, no, don't worry about it. That's like, I always feels really nice because my dad, that was like his dream. Like, my dad had, and he was doing it. He had no money. My dad had

a new scam every week. He'd gotten pulled into. We'd get boxes sent to the house. I open it up. It's a bunch of hats with the logo on it. I'm like, what's this logo? He's like, that's my company. I'm like, you don't have a company. He's like, well, I got the marketing down. Yeah, exactly. He got into. much trouble. He was always doing some new scam. He'd call me at work. He'd go, Kendall, quit your job today. You're never going to have to work on death. We're going to make it big. And I would say, when I was really young, when I was, I would be like, this is it. But eventually I was like, he's lying. But he wasn't lying. He thought it was real. He would call. He would be like, girls, you don't

have to worry about anything anymore. I'm going on the road. This man is almost fully paralyzed, almost fully paralyzed in a motor chair. He'd be like, I'm going to be going from city to city. And I'm going to be speaking. We're like, what are you talking about? He was always good to such a scam, but it was his dream to go, and he would do it, you know, at a bar. Everyone around on me. That's like all he wanted to do. But he couldn't afford it. And I remember one time we went out to dinner with him, and he really wanted to do something

kind of big daddy. And he was like, side of asparagus for the table. He all ordered, he calls the waitress back over. He goes, no, keep in here for a second. He goes, you know what? You like the asparagus? She goes, sure. He goes, great art.

You know what? Let's do it as an appetizer. Let's do a plate of the asparagus. literally who wants a plate of as an appetizer. That's a psychotic flavor. This is a man who's been in a restaurant twice in his life. We're like, he doesn't know how to eat food. And then she comes, she brings the asparagus.

What is it? Six skewers and asparagus, six little strands, whatever. And he's like, enjoy it. Enjoy it. And then the meal comes kind of on my pace for it. And he was so mad. He rolled right away. Oh, he was not happy.

He's like, I did that whole bid with the asparagus. And here you are, stepping on it. I wouldn't have gotten the asparagus by it. He was so mad. But we're like you get one nepo baby. Because I have my nepo baby I like, and Jordan thinks hers doesn't count, but she's like, no, the scars guards are nephism babies.

Okay, the scars guard are nepo babies, however. Thank you. They do, well, they act their ass off. That's one. But they're also freaky weirdos. They are. When you're a freaky weirdo, like, it loki cancels out.

Like, they're like off-putting weird, like, yeah. Jordan says it's a family company. It is. It's a family business. That's what a not. The baby is. What are you talking about?

No, no, no, no, let me make yourself clear. Family is in Olive Garden, like, when you're here, your family. Yeah. No, but somebody feels like you ever meet, like, someone and they're like, I'm a plumber. My grandfather started this plumbing company. Me and all my brothers were all plumbers. We work at this plumbing company. That's what the Scarsgars are.

And like, this is like, you've worked in, you guys actually run across, your weirdos. They're not just like, oh, both your parents are like random actors. Also, it's not like, Stelan Scarsgard is like the patriarch. He's an incredible actor. It's true. But it's not like people are like, you know, he's not like. He's not like Glenn Powell. You know what I mean?

I'm just like, I'm sure, but so many of his kids have become famous. And I think it is arguably more famous than him. Yes. Well, that's what she loves to say. But then why is Margaret Qualey different? Stop. The fact that you have to ask that question is absolutely ridiculous. I don't know.

Let's ask Jack Antenoff. Bring him in. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, surprise. Yeah. Can you imagine surprising us with Jack Antenoff would be one of the craziest things we can do. Bring him in. You would treat it like the asparagus, like, oh, sure, yeah.

Yeah, no, sure. That's awesome. That's so great. Honestly, the, the scars guard thing, I will say I do get where you're coming from. Also, because when I watch those guys talk in interviews, even Stellan, they kind of look like they don't even know why they're there. Oh, they're like, I guess, like, yeah, I did movie and then, like, I acted and like, yeah. Like they kind of seem like they're already weird like that. So they just kind of found their way here.

Yeah. They're so strange and I love that. No, I love that about them. I love that they're freaky weirdos. Sorry. That's a nice change for white guys like in this industry. Just be like strange and do what you want.

And I also respect that like they have money. They have the time. They really only work on interesting projects they want to work on. That's true. Everyone that I know that's ever worked with a scars guard in any capacity or even like interviewed them in the carpet or whatever is always like they're so nice. Like, you know, people are like, yeah, like with it, like, Bill was so nice to all the kids. Like, just there's, they seem so nice and normal versus I have nothing but respect for Margaret

Quality. I think she's a very talented actress. Singing a different tune, another wrong. She's a very, I know I think she's very talented, but I'm just like, it just feels different. Is it because she seems less weird? I think probably. Yeah, probably. I mean, it's also, I think, too, like, it's one of those where it depends on like what

you're getting cast in and how often, I think, is when people start to get sick of Nepo babies. Like, because then it starts to feel like, okay, you're just picking her because she's like the new girl. Well, but then, like, the Scars Guard is so random. Like, the shit that they're in. It also feels like shit that no one else could do. Yeah.

Like, who the fuck else would play Pennywise? Like, who else would do that shit? Like, you know Jacob Allerty's not going to do it. You have to be ugly. Yeah. So you know he's not going to do that shit. Yeah. And honestly, I am, think about Jacob Lorty sometimes when I'm thinking of,

about doing interviews because I think like I've been holding this joke and first of all I was holding it for Sydney Sweeney because I knew she would get mad then she turned magas so I'm like okay well I'm never going to talk to her so but like I would be like well I don't know where do you shop we look about the same size that was something that I was like workshopping saying I'm like we're like similar build you and I and I was going to say that to Sydney Sweeney solely because I knew it would upset her and that like I think she would get offended and I think that's kind of funny well it would be perfect because I genuinely think she it would affect her it because she would be confused She wouldn't get, she would be like, wait, I'm sorry.

And then I would feel in that moment, like I've literally said, I'm like, that joke is hilarious to me because in real time, you have to unpack your fat phobia. In real time, you got to do it in front of me. Why you don't want to look like me? Why? Uh-huh, exactly. Oh, I know why, because you're fat phobics. So, but Jacob, I did hear through the grapevine, though, that he really doesn't like being commented on his height.

Which I was like... I'm sorry. I feel the same way. There's so many things going on. And also, I know I'm not that tall now, but I was so tall for so long. And now it's evened out, but I got very tall, very young. You were telling me, bitch. You're telling me.

We were backrobed for... Hello. Yes. I'm like, what? Why is that offensive? Like, if I was so tall that every time I walked by someone was like, you should play basketball. I'd be like, fuck yeah, you should. Well, but you know what it's like?

It's like those girls, and there's a ton of them in acting school. Right. where someone goes, well, you're really pretty. And they all, I saw this hundred times. The prettiest girl you ever see, she's a model. She starts crying. I'm sorry. I just like, the word pretty is like triggering to me.

Go fuck yourself. Honest to God. Go fuck yourself. Oh, it is. That's what I have to say to that. I don't see myself for you. I don't see myself. It's crazy.

You know, what are you trying to. You know what would be great, get fat. Like, if you get fat, nothing will clear that up real. quick than that. And I'll tell you what, it's easy. It's easy and it's free. In many ways, it's very easy. Can I ask, who's your favorite person interview on the carpet? Oh, my favorite person like ever I've interviewed? Or just like someone you like talk to regularly or kind of like whoever comes to mind. Um, honestly, Zach Fox was really fun. I do love speaking with him. I think he was so cool. Dakota Johnson was a hoot. Oh, God. I love her. She was so wonderful.

loved her. She was so, she's so fun. Like, she's, she's cute and fun. I'm trying to think who else I've interviewed that I just, like, fucking adored. There's quite a few, I feel like. I love a person who's, like, so famous. And I've met a few people like this where they're genuinely so famous. Yeah. But they have the energy of a person who just got out of acting school and is on their first short film set. Like, the excitement and the earnestness. That's not, like, when I met Cheryl, Cheryl Lee Ralph, yes. Oh, she was lovely. I loved her. She was like, can you be believe her in this redclock? I was like, yeah, you, I can't believe I am.

You have to be used to this. Well, I know why I'm here. I don't know about you. I can't believe I'm here, but you're so famous. She's just so excited. Yeah, John Sino was really fucking cool. I loved him. There's not very many that I felt were,

actually I'll tell you one that I did recently that was like shockingly kind of bad, but it was, it was crazy. Which is like, okay, so here's the tea with this. Here's the tea with this. So I, remember when I was talking to her, or when I was about to talk to her, her rep came up to me and was like, she's a huge fan.

And she, like, insisted on coming over here, can I bring her to you? And I went, well, yeah, obviously I loved that. And then she goes, and I remember thinking, really? Yeah. I don't know your husband. And I feel like he fucking hates me. So I was thinking in my head, I was like, well, I mean, maybe she's one of those that's like, you don't get her, you don't get her.

You have no idea the amount of women that come up to me, both famous and not, who go, my husband fucking hates you, but I think you're awesome. And I tell him all the time, no, you don't fucking get her. But he says all the time, I hate that bad bitch, but I love you. Oh, thank you. And then sometimes they'll be there and they'll be like, he's somewhere over there, but like he fucking hates you. And I tell him all the time, she's funny, you don't get it.

So the amount of- Are people from space? You know, you have interactions with people? And I'm like, is this your first interaction you go? No, dead ass. They don't do the meanest thing. We went to that little, that little, art market, remember?

We go up, I couldn't believe what I walked into you. We were walking by. We were walking by because I wasn't interested in the art. They were selling. I didn't want any of it. I walked by, they go, oh my God, come here. Come here, we walk up. We walk over.

You guys are those influencers. Sorry. How dare you? How dare you even undercut this story? They said, you're Jordan and Kendall. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, they say. That's true. You're Jordan and Kendall, and they say, and then she turns her friend.

They're influencers. Well, sorry. They're like niche micro-influencers. I said, get away from me. What the fuck? Also, influencers? No, you're not. We're a creative genius.

You're like, you guys are literally comedians and writers. And then you just so happen to make a TikTok too. I'm just like, leave us alone. It's the same shit as like Caleb when they say, Caleb's my favorite comedian ever. My favorite joke he's ever told is the Cooper story. Like that's some bullshit he's shit out of his mouth on my show. And they're like, that is the funniest fucking thing ever.

And I was like, it's funny because. He would fucking kill himself if you heard you call him an influencer. He fucking hates that shit. Sure. Yeah. I get a lot something that makes me feel confused because it's not insulting, but it doesn't make me feel strange. I get approached a lot by people and they're like, it's so good to see someone so fat on camera or on TV or whatever. Oh.

And I'm always like, oh, okay. Is this your first time seeing anyone ever? Yeah, I'm always like, you know, and first of all, I'm not trying to do like, um, fat. stolen valor. You know, I know that there's like a lot of levels to weights. And like I said, like my weight has been all over the place. So it's, you know, it's very different. But I do very frequently or people will be like,

it's so good to have fat representation on dropout. And I'm like, oh. A lot of people have a lot of different weights on dropout. And that's kind of interesting that you only see, I don't know, me as a certain way and maybe not the men is their weights. Right. Just something to think about. But I really.

But it's also jarring because you'll be like at the front line of the post office and someone screams that from the back. And you have to be like, bitch, you're fucking telling me. They're like, I love you fatty fat. Yeah, I love, I love your big fat ass. You're the best. And it's fine. Fat is not a bad word.

There's nothing wrong with being fat. I agree. I say the same thing. But it is weird to have people so kind of easily and comfortably comment on your weight. Yeah, you're fucking telling me. And that's why I wanted to like bring it up because I'm like, you know, because especially if you're tall, you like, oh, girl, my big fat ass. Yeah, they talk about me being big and fat all the time.

They're always like, um, and I'm always like, um, and I'm. Oh, I love that you don't like, I love when I have bigger, like I saw this one that was like, oh my God, I've had quite a few. But like, there was a girl who DM'd me once and she was like, I just want to say a huge fan of your stuff, love you. But also I really love that you wear a lot of strapless things because I also have huge linebacker's shoulders. That's what she fucking wrote to me. I also have those. And it makes me feel a little less insecure and maybe want to try a tube top every now and then. I hope you never try a tube top ever in your life.

Wrap that tube top around your mouth and nose and take a big brow. Pull it all the way up. Yeah. I'm like, be quiet. It's also like, it doesn't offend me, but I can't believe that you think saying it to me that way would not,

could not potentially offend me. Like, like you said, have you ever spoken to a human ever? Yes. Like even when me and Brinney were out recently, this woman walked by her and she goes, Hey, meme queen.

Hey there, meme queen. What the fuck? And we walked away and she was like, you know why they say that? Because she was like 50. So it was kind of confusing. And then she goes, you know why? Because they made me into a gift on Slack. And that's why old people send that gift all the fucking time.

And that's why they say that bullshit to me like, hey, meme queen. And I was like, well, at least that one's a little nicer than big linebacker shoulders. But we both get shit like that. Sure. Yeah. I just don't. I just am like, well, you could be a fan of my work. Right.

Right, right. That's how I feel too when women come up to me and they're like, I fucking love you, you fucking bitch. Yo, what the fuck? You mean, fucking,

yeah, you're so fucking mean, you fucking bitch. I love you, bitch. We all hate you and I love you too. And you're like, what are we talking about? I don't know if you guys experienced this because you guys are comedians and like writers, but you're also really funny naturally

like in conversation. So do you ever interact with people that you're like, they can almost tell that you're funny. They know that. So it almost feels like they're competing with you. Just in normal human conversation.

Literally any woman's husband I've ever met. Yes, exactly. They'll be like, you know, you'll be like, oh, oh, nice to meet you. Wait, are we going to say the same thing. Oh, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. You know, whatever. You're like, oh, okay, stupid. And then you're like, what?

And then they're like, oh, oh, let me guess. You're a comedian who can, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. Every lover I've ever been in. They're just insulting you. Always. And I'm like, we have a. I haven't done any jokes yet. I was just meeting.

Oh, are we starting now? But yeah, it's always kind of like, oh, you just shit up, you can't take it. Like, all right, men love you dish it up, but you can't take it. Every, every taxi driver ever had, now I just, oh, when you say you're in comedy. Yeah, what do you're in comedy? Yeah, I don't anymore, but I'll be like, I'm in comedy and they go, oh, you're ugly. Yeah. Okay.

I'll be like, oh, people laugh at you, people think you're funny, and I say, yeah, and they go, oh, oh, oh, she's upset by that now. upset by that now. She's upset by the joke. Oh, she can just stop, but she can't take it. I'm like, you don't even know what kind of, I can write television. You have no clue what I do. Really within the comedy space. I'm like, what are you talking about men? Men, it's terrible. Like, even in like mixed conversation, like, whether it's like, because sometimes women will come up to me and they'll like bring men with

them, like, whether it's a friend or a boyfriend or whatever. And they'll, they'll explain who I am, which I'm like, I don't need to be here for that part of the conversation. You could just approach me and then go explain it to him somewhere else. When I'm there and she's pointing at me like I'm on the whiteboard. Yeah. That's the part that really pisses me off because I'm like, I don't need to be here for this. And she literally was, they'll be like, oh, she does this awesome thing where she like is so

fucking mean to men. When you tell the average man that, they go, oh, really? Every time. Like, they look at me. And I go, yeah, pretty much. Because I'm not going to sit here and explain to you what the fuck I do. You could drop to head. Like to that guy, that's how I feel.

Like in my hand, I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Like, but sometimes they'll be like. tell me a joke always tell me a joke so okay tell me a joke no yeah i always say i always say i charge for that yeah yeah i always just tom i charge for that that costs money i literally go huh no i actually got it so good though the other day i was at the airport i was going through airport security the guy looks mighty and he goes okay all right and why are you in town or like like what brought you here i was like i was like i'm a business he's like oh what you do i was like i'm a comedian i'm on tour and he was like oh a comedian tell me a joke i said i have to get to my flight he was like come on

tell me you know I really don't have any I don't have any jokes whatever because no matter what you say it's not going to be good enough yeah matter what you could tell this person the funniest joke in the world you could tell this man the funniest joke he does not care and so I was whatever and then someone behind me heard the whole interaction and then leaned down and they were like um actually she's a really successful comedian I like follow her online she's like super funny and I was like damn this feels good and then we got through security and I told the woman I was like that was awesome Thank you for doing that. I appreciate you.

Yeah, I was like that felt right. I'm in that kind of situation all the time with Amanda demanding a joke for me. And that was the worst time that's ever happened. And it was really cool. I know. I hate when sometimes I'll talk to like I'll, it's rare that it's happened on this show. But like sometimes I'll work and like do like a commercial something or I'll do like something else where there's a set full of people. And then there will always be at least one man, especially if it's like a crew of like 30 or more.

There will always be at least one guy who comes up to me at the end. and he'll be like, you know what, you're actually like pretty funny. Yep. You're actually like low-key funny. A hundred percent. Okay, guy holding camera things. You need to get a lot to me. Thank you.

People need to get better at Lyons. I feel like it is a lost art. I don't know. Even what you're saying where people are going, they're having to explain to their boyfriends who you are. The second Jordan points to someone and goes, oh, you know, I immediately go, oh, my God, of course. Of course.

Yes. Of course. I know. I love you. It's like, you lie. And I feel like it's all the time these people are so honest or they're late to something like, sorry, I'm late. I just like woke up late. Bad already. Anytime I've been late, what do I say? So I'm, I have a fever and I'm my car's upside down. I'll tell you the most colorful story you've ever fucking heard. And it's respectful. Yeah, I agree. She's like, it's respectful to lie sometimes. I agree. And I agree. I'm like, if you don't even respect me enough to lie, you're just like, I'm late because the dunk in line was long. And I just didn't care. Yeah.

And you're just like, a random person I'm working with. I'm like, lie a little bit. Yeah, you can lie to me a little bit. When you say, sorry, I say,

when you say you were in a car crash and you show up with the Duncan, that shows me, you respect me. Right. To lie and know the importance of what you're late for. And I appreciate that.

Thank you. Absolutely. Finish your story about the shy woman. Wait, what's shy? You said a woman always comes up and she's always kind of. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

So she was basically, like, it got to this point where I could tell, like, And obviously she's told me before I'm a huge fan of yours. Like I, and she's a working actress. So she was like, and she's in a very big show. So she was like, I'm such a huge fan. Like she's told me that offline.

So I'm like, okay, cool. I've talked to her four times. So like every time I see her, I'm like, you should feel a little bit more comfortable talking to me. But you don't. Every time you meet me, it's like the first time you've ever met me, which is fine.

But then when she, it gets into this thing where like, I know she wants to banter with me, but then it gets mean. Bantor, it requires quickness. You know what I'm saying? It's a skill and not everyone has it. Exactly.

I was shocked. Well, we were saying recently because I was like, at the beginning of this year, when I have a conversation, if I'm in a group people, my brain, I'm going, okay, that person said three sentences, that person she knows her, that person knows her. She isn't spoken. I'm asking you a question. I'm not going to come back around you right after that.

I have that mental on this too. I'm only panicked that everyone feels included. And at the beginning of last year, I said, fuck it, I'm not doing this shit anymore. Right. I, someone needs to include me in a conversation. So I am not saying, and I know Jordan and I, Anytime we're at a wedding and we're at a table with a bunch of people, they wish we were dead.

And all right, we're going to go around and who's from where and who's. Okay, rose and thorn. Rose and thorn. Let's go around. What was your rose? What was your thorn at the wedding? I've always,

I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore. So I started this year, I was like, if a conversation dies down and I've already asked a couple questions, I'm not saying anything. The amount of conversation. Good for you, Kendall. It's quiet. I like, can't believe.

I'm like, these people really are fine, sitting at a table and not saying anything. They want to be fucking interviewing. Like it's like it there's no like back and forth so like and she's so young that I was like I think it's that also lends towards age because I've talked about obviously a lot of young people now their media illiterate but they're also just illiterate in general like it's like the art of conversation is fucking lost like literally I'm like the way that you know we go around and we say things to each other like but even with her I was like I said that and it felt like she was low key insulting me like I was like what? Yeah and then and then I was like oh okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. And then it turns into, sorry, I said that joke and I was so fucking not funny. I was like, so not funny, like at all. And then I have to be like, no, it was funny.

It was so funny. It was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm like, oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But it's really because you guys know it was probably better than anyone.

Like a lot of actors like the personality is like missing. They have to be given it in a script in order to be able to act like. Well, that's why they're good at acting. They're fully a physically and mentally a blank slate. Yes, exactly. And then they're good at absorbing a role because nothing else is going on. And then they also are mentally unwell. Right.

They're fully unhinged. But I feel bad because I think sometimes it used to be you could be insane. Right. But now you can't show any personality whatsoever. Yes. To the point where it's been like almost bled out of them. Like they don't have it anymore. They have nothing because there's some artists that I'm like, well, if they've been having to do day in their life videos, like who?

If Ozzy Osbourne had to do day in their life. I guess he did. I guess he did. And did it make us like him. I don't know. Well, I would say, yeah, I did think it made us like him, but also he was wild. And like everything on that show, he would be canceled for now.

Yeah. I think it's just like, people are, or like if Gwen Stefani, I don't know, these people that I'm like, if they were doing a day in the life videos, it would be, I don't know. I'm trying to think of people. No, I get what you're saying.

You're right. Because you're right. They're insane people. They're like, they've been removed. And then now it's like, but you have to be both insane enough to be kind of an artist, but you also need to be palatable enough to not to be on camera constantly. And I'm like, that is just very rare.

Well, and I agree. And I'll say too, like the inverse of that is us. Like, right? Like we're like personality first and then like we also have other skill. But like I was at an event and I was like walking carpet and I was getting interviewed. And this woman, God bless her. She asked me normal stuff. Like how do you feel whatever?

Blah blah. The last question she asked me. She goes. So wedding of the summer coming up. I'm thinking of myself because I wasn't married at that point. I was like, I haven't told her one. I thought she was talking about me because she didn't clarify who she was talking about. And then she goes, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.

And I go, oh, okay, me not even knowing they were getting married that summer. I was like, I didn't know that, but okay. And then she goes, what do you think their first dance? What do you think they're going to dance to? Like, what song? I don't give a fuck. Like I remember that was, she asked me that question. I go, what do I think they're going to dance to?

Yeah. And she goes, yeah, I go, I don't know, something white. Yeah. And like that. Crazy frog. Like, Cotton I jo. Bitch, I don't fucking know. What do you all like?

Sweet Caroline? And I don't know that. Right. We were just at a wedding. I told Jordan, I said, there is nothing fucking worse. Is maybe the only bad thing white people I'm going to deal with is being on a wedding that's mostly white people and they start playing Sweet Caroline. And you feel they're going to turn something over. It is.

Oh, I mean. It's. It's really scary. They're gonna flip a bus. Yeah. I literally was like something white. Like, and then that, there were two women of color on either side of her, they both busted up laughing.

This woman felt, I think she felt offended because she was white, but she was like, like that when I said it and I go, like if I had to guess something like that, I said, should we put money on it? And then she was like, alright, thank you so much. And then she didn't use any of my clips. She hit you with the you, she said, okay, thank you very much.

Yeah, she pulled one of me on me on me on. me, I got God. Can I say, you seem like someone who would have been invited to the wedding. I feel like she's inviting all the cool. To the Taylor Swift wedding? Yes, I feel like she's inviting all the cool influencer creators, like comedians. I feel like she wants to surround herself with people that are cool. That's true.

And I feel like you are kind of the coolest. You're like, well, I feel like you're like all these famous people's favorite person. And it seems like you would fall in that camp for her as well. Yeah, you would think. but I didn't, I think Jeff Bezos took my invite. Oh my God, he's always taking stuff for you. He's always taking stuff for me. Oh, my God.

We have the same bank account, the same build side profile. He and I. I really do. When I get asked shit like that and then we joke, like we're like funny and witty and that. Sometimes, sometimes it hits. Sometimes it doesn't.

Yeah. I was like, and you know what? I was like telling my therapist this the other day because I was telling her like, the higher I ascend in this or the more like big projects I get involved with, I was like telling her I really don't want that part of me to be bled out. Like I don't want to give up that part of me. I think that's what sets me apart in a lot of ways.

But I also think that's like the beauty of the internet being a portal now for a lot of people like us to be able to move into this industry and like make money doing it is because we've been like able to show what we can do because any other way we would not be able to access this kind of level. Like we would be able to get in these places. That's what I always say. It's like my nepotism. Like the internet is my nepotism on me.

Hell yeah. And this is what I was trying to say earlier. Oh, that's what I was saying. Look at that. This is crazy. So we're, yes, we're very lucky. We're, you know, whatever. But at the same time, you know, this industry is hard and bad.

And it's especially hard for people that aren't exorbitantly wealthy or have connections. And, you know, we feel grateful every day for the internet because it has kind of let us do what we want to do. In the way you want to do it. In the way we want to do it without having to like suck the day. of weird old nasty men that run this town. I agree. And it feels so cool because like, you know, before we really like blew up doing stuff,

Kendall was a janitor at a gym and I was writing clickbait for a website. So, you know, we were like totally fine, but it's just like to get those opportunities. They're really hard to get when you're, you know, no matter how talented you are, skilled you are, kind you are, how hard you work. It's really hard to be afforded those opportunities. And I think, you know, the internet has done so much bad, but it's also done some good enough.

Like, yeah, I agree. That's, like, one of the things I love about the internet. And that's, like, one of the things, like, no matter how many times they try to kill me. That's what I am thankful to the internet for, because I feel the same way, especially when you sit in margins. Like, it's even harder to get in,

and it's even harder to, like, make a name for yourself or get the same opportunities, which is why I love y'all, because I think you guys move the same way I do in this business, where it's like, I know so many talented people that I could put in the right rooms if I got the chance to, and it doesn't matter if they have,

have followers. It doesn't matter if they're famous. None of that shit matters to me. It's like I get the bigger I get and the more opportunity I get, which I think is like why I think we're like cosmically connected. Absolutely. I feel very connected to you all. Yes, same. I feel the same thing. Yeah. That's why I was like after we talked for I was like, you guys want to come to my wedding. I know and we were so pissed. We couldn't look like. I know they couldn't make it. Kettle's fucking stupid birthday. Thanks a lot. Kendall. mad. But no, really, like every, you know, like,

we're all, like, so busy with work and stuff and everything's so crazy. But anytime we see really anyone from your family, it's just, like, you, y'all are so normal and nice and real and, like, grounded. It's just, it's so wild. But I think it's because you do bring people, because I think we continue to, like, surround ourselves with the people that we were friends with before all of this. And obviously, you meet people, but, I mean, you know how.

Sometimes you meet these people at these events. I say, oh, my God. Sometimes when you meet, like, especially when people ask me if I've ever met anybody rude, I'm always like, believe it or not, like, the rudest people I've met have been, like, influencers and reality people. It's not even Aetless talent. Like, I was like, a lot of Aitless talent is not evil. Like, or they're either nothing burger. They're a little, they're rude or they're awesome. Like, and I was, I've always made this joke. I made this joke to Lucy Dakis when she was on the show. But I told her, like, I think in order to make it to a certain level here, you have to be just innately good or just pure evil. that's the only way you survive and the only way you succeed because evil people will succeed no matter what because they don't care about anyone and the purely good people will make it it's just going to take a lot longer.

It's going to take them a little bit longer to get there. So I feel the same way. But we also all are kept very humble and I think, you know, I've seen the way your family speaks to you. And it's horrible. It's very similar to us. That ought to do it. Kate, our producer is like one of our best friends

and Kate, I mean, every morning Kate is like, get up, you stupid bitch, what we're supposed to do like whatever. And it's, she said, by the grace of God, you got this opportunity. Yeah. Why don't she get up at work? It's really good. My parents do not care at all about this industry.

Same. My parents are happy for you. What did you get? Jordan said every time we try to get him to listen to our podcast, he says the same thing. He goes, look, it's not my type of comedy. It's not my type of comedy. We're on the phone. He was, because we had Taylor Tomlinson on our podcast.

I love her. She's just a dream. But I was telling my dad, oh, we had her. Do you know her? Because my dad is a fan of comedy. I does a lot of comedy. And he was like, no, I'm not familiar with her. I'll look her up.

He said, you know who's my favorite blonde comedian? I said, yeah, I do. And he said, really? And I said, yeah, he goes, that blonde woman from the Daily Show, I just love her. She is my favorite blonde comedian. And I said, what about Kendall? My dad loves Kendall.

You going, I think I do know. And he's talking about someone else. Yeah, and my parents love Kendall. Kendall is like their own child. Like, I was like, what about Kendall? My dad goes, Kendall. I don't really think of her as blonde or comedian. Well, all right.

That woman who's always in my house. She's O for two on both of those things. But okay. All right, my guys. But I think that's really good. I think it keeps you very grounded and I think it keeps you working hard and being like I'm not the center of attention. I think a lot of people are hiring yes people. I agree.

And then you become, you're crazy. Girl, you're telling me. Like literally my grandpa like when I first. up on TikTok and I started doing this full time and I started the show and everything and it was like everything was taking off so fast. My grandpa's like so your mom tells me that you're doing this like TikTok thing and I go yeah yeah I am and he's like you know I have a TikTok and I go oh really like me not knowing that. I'm like oh really he goes yeah but I haven't looked you up on there and I go oh really why and he goes I don't need to see all that all that what are you talking about I was what do you

think I'm doing on there. And I go, grandpa, I'm just like telling jokes. And he goes, yeah, but I know who I like on TikTok. It's not me. My algorithm's incredibly great. Even my brother, like my brother was still in high school when I first blew up. And he was telling me he was in school. And he was like, this girl in his class was talking to him and she was talking about

TikTok. And she was like talking about her favorite people on TikTok. And he was like, oh, my sister's on TikTok. And then she goes, oh, really? What's her username? And then he goes, I don't know. And I go, it's my first and last name. You know both of those.

You share one of them. And then he goes, well, how was I supposed to know that? I don't know, bitch, I've been doing it for three years. I thought maybe, no worries. I was like, that's the kind of shit I need. Like, even at my wedding, one of my uncles came and he brought, he has quite a few boys, but they're all, like, married and living other places. But he brought, like, the youngest.

And he, for context, he has downs. But he is so funny. Like, he's one of the funniest people I've ever met. And even in my wedding, like, My mom goes, you ready to go? And he goes, because they were about to leave us, like, after hours of being at the reception. And he was like, oh, yes. And she was like, did you have fun?

He goes, no, I didn't. And she goes, why not? He goes, it's hot. It's hot here. Oh, my God. And then, like, my uncle was like, okay, we're going to leave. And he ran to the car. Like, he just took off into the dark.

Like, he was like, I'll be in the car. If you guys need me, I'll be in the car. The way that bitch was like, no, I didn't have fun. Get me out of here. I don't like her. I didn't have fun. I don't like her. I barely know that bitch.

Yes. I've known him since he was born. He's like, I barely know her. Oh my God. Yes. Strangers need to be nice too, and your family needs to be mean to you. That's the recipe.

Okay, I'm going to speed through some of these last. No, no, no. Are you kidding? This is the best. Okay. So this one says Kendall won homecoming sophomore princess. Okay, you could have lied and said queen. Thank you.

But they were supposed to be facts. Yeah. Now everyone's going to know I've been lying. for years about a new homecoming queen. It's actually so embarrassing because so in at my school I don't know how it works at other schools, but at my school if you're in a club, you can be nominated.

Each club nominates a person. Yeah, that was how it was like that at our high school too. Yeah, so it's not people who are popular. It's people who are trying to get into college. It's very different. Yeah, yeah, people who are doing extracurriculars. This is not popular people. No cheerleaders on the court.

It was just if you're in extracurricular. I was the president of my improv team. So I was in charge of nominating. Right. So you bet your ass. every year I was nominated as the girl. We did not do votes. We would vote on the guys on tape.

I read your guys as mine. I know who it is. I will be nominated, of course. And then I would, all the other girls who won queen, they don't even hardly know they've been nominated. Oh, whatever. I am standing at the voting table doing, I am, who are you going to vote for? All right.

I would really appreciate your vote. I'm campaigning. I'm campaigning. I'm making buttons. I'm texting people. You're going to know. I know. And even still couldn't pull out clean.

So you couldn't, damn, you're doing boots on the ground. Exactly. You know, that reminds me when I was, I think, a freshman in high school. Yeah, I think a freshman in high school. There was like, we would have this like ASB like student council. So it would be like president, vice president, whatever. And this girl that was a senior, she was going to be a senior the next year. She was running for president.

And like the point is like they would have this big like fucking, what do you call it, assembly? And you would have a big booth and it would have a thing. theme and that was you campaigning to like be voted for and each year had a theme had a theme right and so you would pick someone that you felt was like popular in that grade to go and influence everyone to go vote for you so this girl asked me like she for ninth grader she was like hey would you be on like my little council and whatever and I was like oh hell yeah like because I got to skip school so I was like oh fuck yeah I'd love to do that and then she was like okay the theme this year for the booths is Disney so my booth is toy story and I was like okay cool

And she goes, so dress up as anyone from Toy Story. I'm going to be Jessie, but like you can be anybody else. Like, and she told me who the other people were being. I'm like, okay, word, got it. No worries. And then I went home and then I was like, I dress as stinky Pete, obviously. Now, could I have picked a more main character? Sure.

But I already had the overall. So I was like, well, I have the overall. So I might as well. And I remember when I put it on, I just had a long red sleeve, like a long sleeve red shirt of overalls. I had cowboy boots. And then I had like a hat that barely fit my fucking head. And then I was like, okay, perfect.

And then I had like a little thing that I was pretending was my pickax. And when I got ready for school, my sister was like, you're supposed to dress up for the thing. I go, I am. And she was like, who are you? And I was-you-r-r-regulated thing. Yeah, I was like, she goes, who are you supposed to be? And I was like, I'm stinky Pete. Like, Prospector Pete, well, stinky Pete.

I kept calling him stinky Pete. I go to school the way that bitch was so mad at me. Like, when I showed up, she goes, who are you supposed to be? Drew, honestly, I've seen all five. I don't know who that is. I have never heard of that. It's in the second one. He's the one who tries to kill all of them.

At the end, he's the villain. The bear? That's the third or fourth one. No, no, no. This is the one where, like, with, it's Jesse's introduced to the cast. And then you have bullseye, who I could have been, but I'm like, horse.

I'm going to be a horse. I'm going to be an old man. That's offensive. It's falling in line with the King George thing, I really do love to cross-dress. Like, maybe that's why they were transvestigating me not too long ago. But I honestly,

people. If people did as much toward the government as they did towards you, Mom Donnie would be present in the United States. We'd have a million mom donnie. In just two weeks. We'd run literally everything. You'd run the whole country. We'd have free health care.

Hell yeah. Every time I agree about you, I'm literally moments away from making a 30-minute-long video being like, this is why you all need to be put down the other dog. It is so sick, but no one does not me enough. Well, you know, isn't that always the case. And honestly, I showed up. I remember her, because she was like this really pretty popular blonde girl.

And I think she genuinely was confused why I dress like a boy. Like she was genuinely confused. Like she was like, why would you do it? Like she was honestly annoyed at me. Like she was genuinely mad at me and I was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm fucking hilarious. I literally was like, I was all day. I was like, yeah. Like I was just doing that shit.

Nobody asked me to do that. But I guess like performances in my blood. So I was like... I mean, no one asks you to do this. And we are dressed like the home on the show. We are upset. To be fair, you're right. You got me there.

You're a performer. You're a performer. That's what I'm like... I love to cross dress. So it is that it is what it is, you know? Okay. Next one says when Jordan was 11, you were in a community theater production of Alice in Wonderland.

And the director told you to take an improv class because you didn't know how to ad lib. That's what started my whole career. No way. Yeah. I did community theater. I was in, yeah, a theater camp because my parents worked during the day. And so I had to go somewhere.

And I went to my local community theater camp. I got Alice and through the looking glass. And then there was the scene where I was supposed to be like falling down the hole. You got Alice? Can you believe? Wow. I'm a natural blonde. A lot of people don't know this.

But I am a natural blonde. I drive my hair brown. And so I was pretending to like fall down the hole or whatever. And this woman, this director is like yelling at me like, Adlib, ad lib, ad lib. and I'm like 11. I don't know what that means. But you don't admit that because that's embarrassing. Right.

So she's like ad lib and I'm like, oh. And she's like, cut, cut, cut. She's like, you're bad at improv. You need to take an improv. I'm 11 by the way. Yeah. But of course I was like, you know, I was like, the director hates me. I am bad at improv.

I'm going to ask my parents what that is and then take a class. And my community theater, the Fort Lauderdale Children's Theater, who's, you know, still very active today. I really like formed what I do today and you did so, so much for me. And they are the reason why I am where am today. And you are so good at improv. That's so good. Literally so nice.

Thank you. Literally whenever we go see like, anytime we go see, we go to the WMBA. Oh my God. Let me say that again. Sorry. Go to the WMBA games all the time. Yeah. And when they're like running out and it's like so cool, I literally tell Jordan, I'm like,

that is what it feels like when you go out and you do improv. And I'm watching. You're coming out. tunnel. Yeah, like when I watch them call you out for Ask Cat, like, this is what it's like, because there is like a scary moment. Like, I know when we first started dating is like, okay, it's like the first time I'm going to see Jordan do improv. And if she is a certain level of bad, no matter how much you're going to get the dick, yeah. I cannot do that. I feel the same way. So really, and she's like the funniest improviser. No, genuinely. It's, it's funny you say that too

because when I first started dating my husband, um, my sister, like, I think we had been dating for like, a few months. My sister goes, I have to tell you something. And I go what? She goes, I don't think he's that funny. And I was like, you need to take that right fucking back right now. I'm not even kidding. This is me being so serious. I'd rather than think he was ugly than think he's not funny.

Fuck I look like being with an unfunny person. Are you nuts? I know I'm funnier, but like that's always going to be the case. Yeah, we can't compare. No, fuck. No. And I literally remember the next time I saw him, I was like, listen, when you see my family next, you better pull it out, bitch. I better see

top shelf jokes ho i'm not kidding i literally told him my sister thinks you're not funny you better prove her wrong and it's funny because my my husband is so like objectively handsome like he's objectively a very good looking guy so obviously naturally you would assume he's not funny at all he is extremely funny but like he was doing these like i would say five to ten jokes that i think would kill with the average person he needed some punch-ups that being said you're talking to someone who comes from a family of comedians. Like literally my family is the funniest people I've ever met. So I was like, whenever he would workshop those in random conversation, silence. The way my family, my family's never going to pity laugh. So like, if it's not funny, it's silent. And so I remember she was like,

I have to tell you something. Like it was like she was breaking the news. That he cheated on your family. I saw him out. I don't find him that funny. So, and it's funny because she's one of the funniest people I ever met. So I was like, I literally told him, I was like, you better pull it fucking out, bitch. We need a tight 10. Get that lead out right now. I was like, I better see guffaws at the next fucking dinner. Otherwise, this isn't going to work.

I literally. Yeah. He lost of. Yeah, he had to have. Yeah, we're married. Yeah, we cleared that hurdle. Thank God. It was, it was a dark period, though, for a minute.

I was like, oh, my God. And I remember thinking, I've been walking around telling everyone how in love I am. And they think he's not funny. I was like, literally thinking I was like, I can't have that. So the only thing that's funny is what a joke he is. Yeah. And even with Taylor Thomason, when she was on my show the first time, I told her that we, he, I asked him, who do you think's funnier between the two of us? And he was like, well, you, obviously. And I was like, it's a good answer because that's the right answer. So I appreciate that. And then she was like, well, that would be insane if at this point in your career, he was like, probably equal. Yeah. Maybe 50-50 draw

But you know so many female comedians husbands think that I just know that they're like Well she's a comedian but only because I haven't really Try I don't have the time If I have the time It's a real like marvelous Mrs. Maisel situation Yeah

Okay I have one more fun fact This one's about Kendall In high school Kendall was in her Nevada high school Improv League called comedy sports Yes yeah Interesting. I was.

A blending of worlds. Comedy and sports. Yes, it was incredibly. No, it was. If you're doing improv right, you're getting on the ground. You have to wear comfortable clothes. It's very physical. Yes.

I was, you know, if I have one regret in my life, it's I should have been kinder those years to the members of my improv. You think? I took, right to camera. There's a few people in specific. I took that so seriously. If you've ever watched the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, So the woman that runs that, that was me.

The second I got an ounce of power in that group, which once again, it's a small group. So I was really leading who was in charge. You said, guys, we got to take this seriously. And I was, I was horrible. I was like, if you don't have the talent, I literally remember saying to girl. You don't get in, I'm not doing gimmies here.

You're not getting in the show. You're lucky I'd let you come practice with it. You're not getting put in a show because you've been here a long time. I don't care if you're grabbing you. graduating your mom's stick. Doesn't matter. When the lights come up, honey, I was fucking insane. You know who's going to look bad in me if I put you on that stage?

And then people lose respect and then everyone wants to be in the show. But I will tell you, guess who would win? We would win at those competitions. When I was in charge, we won. And the second I left, oh, I don't know if there's much winning. I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to say it was all me, but, you know, pattern recognition, I guess. You know, it's funny.

You said community theater and that too. Like, it's my brother recently was in a community theater production of high school musical. Oh, that's funny. And we were so fucking fired up for him. He got Troy and Zeke. So he was playing on different days, which we were like blown away when he told us he got both. And then it's funny because later on like when he was in rehearsals, when he's in tech, he was, he texts my husband and he was like, hey, Billy, do you think that you would ever want to audition for high school musical? Like in the community there, he asked my husband that literally this year. And my husband goes, no.

No, thank you. He's like, oh, they just need more guys. So I figured, mind you, like, my husband's in his 30s. I'm like, he's like, no, no, no, no, no. But it was funny because he, I remember at one point he was telling us about rehearsals and stuff. And he was telling me and my sister that he was like, yeah, I was giving some pointers to other people in the cast. And like, Jason was like, wait, like, you were saying these out loud to other people? Because he was, like, just telling us, he goes, well, yeah, I want them to get better.

And she was like, okay, but you don't know anything about acting. So maybe don't. Like, maybe don't. And the funniest thing about my brother, he's like, you don't know. But he'll literally be like, okay, yeah, sure. But even like we went and watched him. It was funny, there's probably maybe 30 people total in there. And my family is about 21 of them.

So like, and then the director and the producer were two of them. So not many people. But my family was there. We all had shirts on. Like we were so excited. We were kind of pissed off because they switched him to Zeke. That night instead of Charles. which we were annoyed about, but like, we went and we watched him.

And it's funny because the whole production, he was in a completely different outfit. Like the other two leads are in the same exact uniform. And then he's in his own clothes. And I was, and he had a backpack on. Nobody else had that. So, like, they had uniforms and they also had letterman jackets. My brother's not wearing any of that. We're like, and so, like, my brother, obviously, he's so special and he's so funny.

But he's been bullied before, like, in school. So when we were, like, talking about it, we were like, that's so mean. like they didn't include him like in the in the uniforms like my mom was like don't worry I'm going to talk to him about it and mind you like he kills he did a great job we finished the show afterwards this is a separate story but like we were all waiting 21 of us I'm not kidding that is 21 of us in this production we're all waiting we have flowers like suffered to give him and then he's walking to his car my dad sees him outside because my dad went to get something from his own car he passes my brother like that like my brother walks just walks right past him my dad goes hey where are you

going he goes I'm exhausted I'm going home And then my dad goes, there's 20 people. Get your ass inside. He's like, did you see everyone? He goes, who? Your family? They're waiting for you? He goes, oh, walks back in the same box us.

So I remember, like, my mom drove him afterwards. She was like, oh, I'll ride with him. And she was like, oh, let's go to in and out. It's like late. And we'll talk about, we'll debrief the show. My brother's like, oh, can you drive? I'm exhausted. My one goes, okay.

She's driving. She goes, hey, so like, did they not include you, like, in the uniform thing? Like, what was that? He goes, oh, like the Letterman jacket and stuff. She goes, yeah. He goes, oh, it's in my trunk. My mom goes, it's in the trunk of your car right now. He goes, yeah, I just felt like Zeke would be wearing this.

I felt like this is more like his vibe. He had a vision. Yeah. My mom goes, why don't you wear the fucking outfit they gave you? And then he goes, I just thought I knew better. So, and so my mom's like, just put on the fucking clothes because he looks like, he looked like he didn't even go to the school. Like, I already filed a report with the whole. If you could just put the-

Here I am thinking you're getting bullied and you're making creative choices. Like, what the fuck? So my mom went to every single show. There was like four of them and she said like the next one she went to to see him. He was wearing like a headband

because he has really long hair so he's wearing a headband. It was black. He sweats a lot so it was like catching a lot of the sweat. My mom says that the next one she goes to. He goes out. He's in the uniform. Granted he did have the letterman jacket on and stuff

but his headband, it was black in the first like time she saw. Yeah. He goes behind stage, comes back, different outfit, bright blue headband. Oh. And it's like the opposite team is blue, so it's confusing. Sure.

But he has a hole behind the scenes. He said, but my, Zeke was like, maybe I should switch schools. My dad's getting divorced for my mom. And I don't know if I should stay. Maybe that's the character work I'm working on. So then he goes back. My mom goes, he goes back, comes out light gray headband. Uh-huh.

Comes back, goes around again, stripes. Bro, what the fuck? I was like, he's doing wig changes back there? Yeah. And then my mom goes, yeah, when I asked him, why are you doing creative shit again with the outfit? He goes, no, all the black ones are dirty. so I just had to switch them. And my mom was like, every act?

Where are you switching? Go back to the black ones. All that to say, my brother is an artist. So it's in the family. He's a scars guard. He's a scars guard at the end of the day. Yeah. So I commend, I love that you were in community theater

because my brother was having a fucking blast. Like doing it. Oh, it's so good. And they'll really do whatever. I'll never forget. I'm my friend, who's still one of our good friends, my friend Alexa, who I grew up with, her mom, Patty, who has since passed away,

who is such a wonderful woman. And she worked at the community theater and directed for all the shows. And I'll never forget, she called me on the phone and she said, okay, you know, we're doing Beauty and the Beast. I know you auditioned. I want to pitch something that's a little different, but I think it's, you know, going to be really cool for you. And I was like, okay, I'm listening. And she was like, it is a lead. And I was like, it's Lefoo, who is the kind of little olive of a man that follows Gaston around.

Yeah, the gay, the gay guy. The gay little chubby guy, you know. And I'm like a 13-year-old girl, right? So I think she's like, weird of that. And I was like, no, no, this is perfect.

I can really sink my teeth into this. You're so me. Like, oh, good, I'm getting something different than everyone else. Right. I'm a star.

And it's still a lead, so that's what I care about. I was so excited. It was the first, like, comedic role I had ever done. Yeah. Um, which really,

like, really changed the trajectory of my life. And she saw that in me and gave me that and let me do that. She saw the Lafoo. She saw it. She saw it. She saw it. You need someone to see.

And on the outside of me. and on the outside of me. And she let me do it. And I just remember there were things where, like, I remember one rehearsal I stood up and I was like, I just feel like during this dance number, right now it's choreographed where I'm dancing with everyone else. But I am a lead.

And I think it would make more sense if I was doing cartwheel, round off cartwheel, across the stage during this number. And of course, all the adults are like, whatever you are. That's completely fine. Okay, sure. That's fine. And I would come out during curtain call and my hair was in like, you know, a little ponytail or whatever.

I would come out during current call and I would take my hair out of my hair out. Is if I was doing like a big reveal that I was a girl. If my acting had been so good and everyone would be like, yeah, people thought I was an adult man playing this role. But it really, once again, it's like it really, I think stuff like that is so important. I agree. Let's you do that kind of stuff.

And like, I agree. It's so, it's not just fun. It's really confidence building. It builds your confidence. And there's no confidence like that age. Like I, I agree. I feel like now I'm kind of successful. And I still am like, well, I'm an idiot loser.

And I don't have anything. Yeah, you feel less confident as you get older. Versus, when I was on that improv team, I'm not even kidding. I would walk through the hall. I was on the improv team. I was a virgin, if you could believe it. I'm walking through the halls. I'm going, everyone is looking at me.

No pictures please. Literally, I was thinking and everyone's going, well, there she goes. She's going to be incredibly successful as a comedian. Nicole Kidman Jr. over there. These people do not know my name. I think I am. I am so good. And then I remember like just blind confidence

where I would audition every year for the musical. And like I was, Jordan can tell you, how bad am I at singing, honey. I am bad at singing, I would audition every year for the lead. Me too. I wouldn't even audition for, oh, maybe they'll give me minor. I would only, I would only, I said, I'm clearly only gonna do a leave.

People would be confused if they come. I would never get, and then it would always be some made up thing. The poor teacher would come in and be like, okay, sweetheart. we're gonna do something new this year called, you know, there's no small roles, only small actors. So you're gonna stay next to me and you won't be in the show,

but you'll kind of make the show what it is. And then you'll be like, you know what, you're so right, I'm too big for this. Yeah, exactly, make the show what it is, someone's gotta do it. And then I'm telling everyone, well, you know, they've never had a student director before this young. Right.

But they kinda decided this year would be, this is the year. Because I, you know, obviously am different than something that's happened before. And I just was an asshole. It's the most beautiful thing. And I think that's like a common thread we share, like being in this industry. Like, because I joke about it a lot where I'm like, we definitely, you have to love attention to some extent in this industry in order to keep doing it and sustain doing it.

But like it, there is a line, obviously. Yeah. But I've had the exact same experiences in terms of like stage production, anything like that. Like there was this big play we used to do in elementary school and my sister got a main role when like the year before me. So I remember thinking, I'm going to go for that one. Like, it was like, there were two main girls and two main guys, and she got one of the best ones because that was the funny one. Yeah.

And I remember I went and auditioned and I was like, obviously, no other role, just that one. I was the same way. I was like, no, I don't need a background. I'm going to do that one. And then I did the audition. I don't even remember what it was, but I remember leaving and telling all my friends, I fucking nailed it. Yeah.

I fucking nailed that shit, bro. I literally was like, it's really just a matter of who's going to be my understudy. Right. I'm like telling everyone like I was so confident, bitch, I didn't get one role. Sure. I didn't even get a small one. They put me in the chorus.

I was like, oh, and they put me in the back because I was humongous because I was five, too. So I literally, they put me in the back and I remember thinking, they don't even know what they're missing. Well, and then you're mad. You're so much. I remember when I didn't get cast in Greece. Oh, bitch.

Lord. It was, I was awful. I was awful. Of course I only wanted to be Sandy. I said, I'll be the lead. And then I didn't get in. And I had the audacity to try to get other people who had been cast to talk shit with me being like and I'm sure you're you saw.

You know you're not as good as me. And I remember crying. I remember sitting, I remember calling my best friend Dylan and saying, meet me at the college. We're a community college in our town that had a coy pond. I said, meet me at the damn coy pond. I'm crying there. He's been cast. And I'm like, what are they?

Are they idiots? Are they idiots? Let's do a walkout. You're like, let's stage a coup. They can't keep getting away with this. It's just you. I'm sure in his mind being like, well, you're the youngest. person to audition. You're horrible at singing.

You're not as talented as you think you are. Singing is kind of a big part of it. And you're like, okay. That being said, I do wish I always, I'm like, God, wouldn't it be nice if they did just kind of like an adult production of like little shop of horrors that was just all personality driven, you know? I would love that because it would be my dream to be able to be on Broadway,

but I can't sing for shit. I feel like, and if you're listening any producers out there, I feel like, if we've been together. with some other successful people who are not good at singing. Right. I think we could get kind of like a personality only. I think Broadway. But Jordan is good at singing.

I'm okay. I know you are. I'm good. And you know what? I'm sure you are because everyone who talks like that and anyone who talks like us is for real. But when you talk like that, you can sing. Like when we talk, I can't sing for shit. Like it's a, no, I bet you can sing.

I can. I'm not toned up. I can sing fine. But I had to accept at a young age that I was not. good enough at singing to be the lead or do musical theater for a career. Me too. You know? Yeah, so you and I are in that same boat.

Yeah, but I do love Broadway. I love Broadway. Like one night only. You don't think they would let us do Little Shop of Chorus. They're letting anybody do one night only now. Not us, but yeah. Tiny Todd, some fun. Right.

And we're all in it. We get some other people that, you know, aren't good at singing and we all do it together. Well, that's just on Broadway. I know one night. Just one night, one night. One night. A little theater.

Well, but you know, I think, you don't think we could sell it a Broadway theater. We don't feel about theaters bigger than that. Yeah. Hello. They're not that big. Oh, you think we could sell out Broadway? It's for a charity, one night only. I think we could do it. And I think someone's listening. I think someone's listening that we'll think it's a good idea. And I think they should contact that. I think so too. And there's no singing whatsoever.

But if we do, then you guys praise my singing. We do it like singing in the rain where we're all mouthing it, the songs. And then someone's behind the curtain actually singing. Yes, yes. We could do an Ashley Simpson on S&L kind of deal. Absolutely. Yeah, I would love that. We're just talking about lip singing, but I would love that. We cast the real. singers they stand behind their current and I go out there. Yeah. Yeah. Or I was like, I don't know.

There's no, there's no like quirky best friend that doesn't sing. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Throw it to me. I can do it. Yeah. All three of us can do it. Listen, I'm, this time next year, we will have a one night on a Broadway show. I really like feel it. I do. You know what's going to hurt when

everyone does it and we don't get invited? They're like, that's a great idea. Let's pick other people. Yeah, yeah. It's an awesome idea. Okay, well, did you find the facts fun? I always have fun. I look forward with you. It's fun.

Okay, no worries, Amanda. You still have a job. Oh, she's not even in here. Well, Amanda, you'll see. Yeah, she quit before she got fired. She knew. Well, thank you all so much for coming back. I fucking love y'all.

We love you. You're the best. And we felt so honored to be here. I am so, like, genuinely grateful to have crossed paths with y'all. But I also think that the two of you are so wonderful and so talented. And I, like, really do think that you guys are going to do something huge. Like, I really do believe that in my soul. And this is the place where we manifest everything.

Oh, yes. So I do want to ask, do you guys have any advice for any aspiring comedians, writers, or anyone in between? Oh, my gosh, I love that. Go ahead. You can go first. Always be early. Ooh, T. That's a big one.

I would say so many of the jobs that I've gotten in this industry are solely just because other people don't show up on time and act professional. That's such a great point. I think it's like a really underrated things that it's a really underrated thing that people really appreciate and remember. And just be nice to everybody. You never know who you're going to work with again. That's a big one. You know, I know people say she like that, but it really is true.

I audition so rarely. I mostly book things through people I've worked with that have had a good experience working with me. Yeah. And I know it's similar for you as well. And I think a lot of our friends are like that too. It's true. And it makes such a big impact if you're not coming from this background of already being connected. in the industry. Don't be fake, you know, but go like be nice, be respectful. Introduce yourself

to your PA, like, you know, introduce yourself to the people doing the sound. Like, just be nice and normal and show up on time and do your job and be prepared when you get there. You know, know your lines, do a good job. And also, like, do what you want to be doing. Don't feel like you have to replicate what other comedians or artists are doing and your manager might be trying to tell you to do that. Yeah. Sometimes you got to do your own thing. Yeah. Amen. Period. Period. I think maybe a little more vague. Those were such good tips, but I guess generally, I'm like, I think don't be precious with anything you do.

Yeah. Because I, that's so good. That's a really good point. I think that people can get very picky about what they want to put out, and it can feel really intimidating when you haven't put anything out, and you're like, okay, I want to, this is my big reveal of my art. And I think just realizing that it's really not so complicated, and it's more about the only way that you're going to grow is if you put out

that art that isn't that good, you're never going to release your first thing and be like, this is the best I'll ever do. We need bad art too on a separate note. People love bad art. I'm telling you. Some of the, my favorite movies are horrible. I think my, the movie that inspires me the most is Mike and Dave need wedding dates. You've ever seen it.

Yeah. I might have told you about it in the past. I love that movie. This is my favorite movie. It's like Zach Efron, right? Oh, yeah. Who I think. Adam Devine?

Yep. Is that who it is? Yes. Who Zach Ephron, I think, I'm sorry. I think it's were the greatest comedic actors of our time. He's funny. He's funny. It's kind of like The Rock.

Like, the rock is so funny. Like, naturally. Yeah, John Cena, too. Yeah, John Cena, great one. I totally hit a certain level of being in shape that you become funny. I don't know what's funny is like on that same note of Mike and Dave need wedding day. It's like my sister and I love the movie Ricky Stinnicki.

Yes. Which like it's literally I've told so many people watch it. It's fucking hilarious. And then like someone I know watched it and they go, I think I need to watch it with you. Like I think I need, I'm like you don't get it. Okay. You don't get it. You don't get John Cena.

like I get John Cena. I know. I saw it four times in theaters because I kept bringing my friends. I kept going, I'll rent it. No, no, no. It's a movie you need to see

in a theater. On the big screen. You need to experience. And I need to watch you watch it. And then it's just like, the dumbest fucking movie. And I'm like, that movie inspires me so much

because I'm like, that is my favorite movie. Right. It's not because it's good. It's not because it's perfectly written by any means. It's not because the acting is great. It's just I like it.

And I think there's so funny. It's so fun and that is like what we're doing here with art is like it's supposed to bring people joy or make people really sad, I guess. But what we're doing is to make people laugh. So I think for a comedian, just don't take something so seriously that is not supposed to be serious. I agree. That's great advice. And I honestly think the note too about putting it out, like just getting started is also a huge thing I tell people too. Because I'm like, you'll talk your way out of anything.

Like you can delay anything as many times as you want. And I always like when people ask me like, don't I get started on a podcast. I always tell them before you buy anything, mics, cameras, lights, any of that shit, set up your phone and see if you can talk for 40 minutes by yourself. Just see. See where it goes. See how it sounds. Like watch it back. Like, because that will tell you whether or not you should be doing a podcast, first of all. But second of all, I think it will inform you of what you want, like how you present on camera, like that kind of thing. And I think the same thing with bad art, like we need it. Put it out there. I thought the same thing when I watched End of Oak Street.

Have you guys watched that? No, not yet. We wanted to. Please watch it. I would love to know your thoughts. That's the dinosaur one. Yes. Oh my God.

With Anne Hathaway. Yes. Because it's fucking insane. Like I remember being, and not in a fun way. I was literally like, this is one of the worst movies ever, but also three and a half stars on Letterbox. Come on. I had a ball.

I had a ball watching that show. The movie, I like, I talk about it being like, I watch or listen to enjoy, not to critique. Yes. Sometimes I'm watching to enjoy. I was like. That being said, I had a blast. It was terrible. That being said, I had a blast.

Some of the, one of the maddest moments of my life have, I was excited to see the movie Anaconda. Oh, yes, of course I do. I'm hearing all these little whispers. Oh, it's fucking trash. Oh, it's bad. It's not even worth going to see it. I said, I don't believe it. The trailer was hilarious.

I got to go see this. I had to be shush. I was laughing so. It was the funniest. I thought I was going to have to sit on her. She's thrashing in the show. She's laughing so. Popcorn was flying.

It was hysterical. It was hysterical. And I left and I said, I would like to personally scream at every person who told me that was a bad movie. That's not what the movie was. This is a remake. This is a movie with Jack Black and Paul Rudd where they're remaking Anaconda. It's not supposed to be some amazing movie. It's not an Oscar nominated film.

No, it was so funny. When he is, when he, I could cry talking about it. When he is attached, I'm sorry. I haven't seen it, no. You haven't seen it? No, I have. Oh, you're gonna love it. I love Jack Black.

Like, Jack Black is one of my favorite comedic actors. Oh, my God. He's one of the funniest. And I love Paul Rod, too. Paul Rod is so funny. Well, this is a bit of a spoiler for Anaconda, but don't know. No, no. I have to.

You can tell me. You can tell me. I don't care about spoilers. It's like Jack Black, they think he's dead. Like, they think he's dead. And then so they touch. I'm sorry. They attach because, wait, why?

Is there a big snake or something? They have to try to get the snake distracted so they can like go over here. So Jack Black said, so they're like, well, let's attach this dead pig to his head and then have him use him as bait. And they put the, is it his penis? His tail. Oh, the pig's tail. Got you. Are you sure?

I think so. Anyways, they put the tail in his mouth and then they're running and he's going to chase their snake and the Jack Black wakes up. He's not dead. And he starts running. Then the pig wakes up and the pit screaming and they're both screaming and running. I, oh, I couldn't even. That's literally how I felt when we watched Ricky Stenickey. Bro, I'm not kidding.

The part in Ricky Sting, this is a spoiler, but I don't give a fuck because nobody watched that movie. Nobody cared. But like there's a part where there's like a woman, they're like, you know when her hair is just like a little too long? Like where it's like creepy, which I think is a funny joke just by itself. Like your hair goes to certain like, you're creepy. Yep. That's funny. But he literally, they all talk about how this girl's hair.

is too long and it makes her creepy. And then John Cena's character is the only one who like tells her to her face. And he's like, yeah, you know, maybe you should get a haircut like a Bob or something. And she's like, oh, like, do you think I'd look good with the Bob? He goes, I don't really know. I just know that your hair, I mean, the hair, the way it looks now, he's like, you look like a freaking loon. I laugh.

When I tell you, bitch, I laugh so hard. I had to pause the movie because I couldn't hear anything. I literally was like, wait, pause, pause, pause, pause. And I was like, holy fuck. Because he's literally like being so serious and genuine. And he goes, you look like a freaking loon. Holy fuck. It's not even that funny.

I literally was crying, laughing. I called my sister. I go, this movie is so funny. She's like, I told you. That's like me. If I'm at any Minion's movie. Oh, we love. Jordan is like, girl, don't even look at my sister's phone case.

My sister has a minion phone case. She has the sore off the minion collab. And you have good taste because I'm telling you. And I really believe this as an artist. the minions are the Mr. Beans of our time. That's such a good point. Literally, it's not funny. He is so underwriting.

His Dean is still alive. Kendall says this all the time. Isn't he like, he's an alt-right freak? Okay, so now we have the minions. And also I get what you mean because at the time, everyone was like fucking stupid about Mr. Bean.

And then afterwards, they're like low-key comedic genius. Kind of like Pee-Herman. We're like after the fact it was like, well, loki, he's hilarious. Yeah. So the minions, my same. sister does not fucking play about the minions. No, because they're fun.

She's only given two movies this year four stars on Letterbox and one one of them was the minions and monsters. What was the other one? Cammy husband. That's a lesbian. Of course. So there you go. That's why she literally was like the minions movies, dude. Like she's even told me like she loves the trolls ones. Oh, I love the trolls. The Puss and Boots franchise. Who you say I look like? I've never seen trolls. I, you remind me of Princess Poppy

sometimes. Pappy. I don't know. Poppy and branch. Yeah. I assume she's a gorgeous troll. I don't know. We have Poppy and Branch Energy. Yeah, don't, don't look, don't look her up. But yes, she's gorgeous. But I love, I love, I love that y'all love bad art, good art, everything in between. Yeah, because why isn't it art?

That's what I'm saying. All of it is. Like, I'm being 100% saying. What about it? Like, why do I have to watch a British actor pretend to be American and do this, like, really, like, serious movie where, like, he's a straight actor, but he's doing a movie about the AIDS crisis? Like, right, right?

You know, I'm not saying that shouldn't be made. but I'm just like, why is that art? Because who decided? Because I'm never watching that again. I can tell you that was a made-up movie. I would watch that one time and I would say, thank God that's over. It's like what I told you about Hobbs and Shaw, where I'm like, they're like, have you seen, like, the artist? I'm like, no, but have you seen Hobbs and Shaw?

Have you seen this artist? Yeah, yeah, listen, I'll show you a fucking artist, bitch. I think it's good. I think art should, people should be more comfortable with allowing art to bring them joy. And I think we've moved away from that. I agree. Also, even in books, that's why I love the books I read so much. Me too.

I used to be like, I hate reading, I hate reading because people were always like, well, have you read like Moby Dick or something? And I'm like. Or self-help books. They're like, that's all you're allowed to read is nonfiction after a certain point. Right. Why? No, as if every time I go down to sit and watch TV, I want to watch an Oscar nominated film.

Most of the time I'm watching garbage. Right. That's what I want to be reading. And I've talked about how I like things like Family Guy. Like, I think Family Guy is so funny. Like there are some jokes that crack me the fuck up. And I think to myself, you know what, that's just a well-rounded artist when you like it all. But it's such, I'll tell you, when I sometimes will like go, this is pretty like comedy nerd,

but I'll like look up one-liners from TV shows that I love and just like kind of study the format of them and like how, why, insert, whatever. And Family Guy, I would know, it was not allowed to watch Family Guy growing up, but I will study their scripts. And I have to insert different. Like, I'm like, okay, I would never say that. But I'll like study the family guy scripts to be like there is such an art. It's so it is so technical

that are scripts of those shows. I agree. I agree. I fucking love y'all. You all are like the funniest and the sweetest. I am wishing nothing but the world for y'all. But we're all going to grow all together so I'll see it. I can't wait. And when we're on Broadway I'll be laughing then. Oh, I'll be laughing on with it. She's going to take out your ponytail at the curtain call. Exactly. Take it out of your say you tell me what my gender is.

Well thank you all so much for coming on show again I fucking love y'all anytime we love you thank you so much for having oh my gosh anytime for maybe the two straight people that have never heard of you where can they find you we're on every social media platform you can listen to our podcast happy wife happy life on patreon on that i've been on yes yes one of a fan favorite episode yeah um and you honestly that's such a fan favorite episode we made the like ad freak sender version available on patreon for free oh my god no way yeah you can go check out fun and listen to it because it's one of our most popular episodes so we want everyone to be able to get access to it and then on

socials were HWHL podcast. Yes. And your personal socials. And then, yeah, which is our name. Jordan My name, M-Y-R-R-1-C-K. My full name was taken. And then my name, Kendall Landrin. Yeah. Period. Well, thank you all so much for coming on again. I love and adore y'all. And thank you all so much for tuning in to this episode of the

comments section. Don't forget new episodes drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio and all streaming platforms with the video list for free and exclusively on our favorite platform, YouTube. Thank you so much to Kendall and Jordan for being amazing. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.