The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - MATTEO LANE CAN SING AT YOUR WEDDING OR FUNERAL (Ft. Matteo Lane) | Episode 239

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

The iconic Matteo Lane is on the show this week! Drew and Matteo get into a deep dive on unintentionally funny relatives, Matteo’s qualms with Ohio and Pokemon, emotionally distressing your Sims, why Matteo used to sing Ave Maria at weddings and funerals, getting mystery blisters from seafood in Spain, and so much more.Follow Matteo on IG: https://www.instagram.com/matteolane/?hl=enFollow The Comment Section on IG: https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/?hl=en Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Occasionally when I will look at a comment or two, my favors, if someone says something to mean, I love when there's a spelling error. Me too. Because then I'm like, now this is just, I'll always write whatever word they meant to say. Like a there, there, there. Yeah, you put little asterisk next to it. Yeah, and I thought you meant that one's possess. Everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show, starring me, your favorite. Everybody knows me who cares about me.

On to the guest. Today we have the iconic, the legendary, the hilarious, Mateo Lane. Hello. So excited to be here. Welcome to the show. Thank you. We could just keep talking about dry eye, but I prefer. And we were getting into dry eye.

We were. We can come back to it. I'm happy to. Hey, y'all, this episode is brought to you by Sephora. Some days, I barely want any coverage at all. I just want my skin to look like my skin, girl, just a little more even. That's when I've been reaching for the merit minimalist stick. It's a foundation and concealer stick in one.

so it's super easy to throw on when I'm running errands, grabbing coffee, or meeting up with friends. It gives me that really natural skin-like finish without feeling heavy. But when I'm filming, going to an event, or I just want a full glam moment, I need a concealer that's actually going to show up. So the hourglass vanish concealer is one I always reach for because it gives me that full coverage, airbrushed finish. I also know I'm not the only person who struggled to find the right concealer shade. It can be so frustrating trying to guess what it'll actually. actually work for you. That's why I always shop at Sephora. They have the best brands all in one

place with so many shades, coverage levels, and finishes so you can actually find what works for you. And if you need help, Sephora makes it super easy with expert beauty advisors, free samples and shade matching tools, both online and in store. So whether you're looking for barely their coverage or full glam, Sephora can help you find your match. Me and Mateo have been passing ships. I've been trying to get you on the show for a minute. I know. I'm also rarely. in Los Angeles, by the way. I know. That's what I, that's what your team has told me. Yes. And that makes sense. Because I, I feel. And by my team, it's Nick. He's not in LA. He's not coming. Yeah, you see, he's not here. Stop asking. I literally feel forcibly by coastal because I do work in New York a ton.

Yeah. But I feel the same way when I get a lot of ops from New York. I'm like, I'm not, I'm not there. We'll come on a NICs podcast sometime. I would love to. In fact, that that's actually a perfect segue because I've been seeing a ton of your clips where you have other comedians and you guys answer, like, relationship questions. Sometimes. Oh, like, when I do my advice specials, I'm on stage. Oh, yeah, for sure. And I was like, and I saw one with you and Nikki Glazer, who I love. I do love her.

She's amazing. And I was like, okay, so when I see Mateo, I'm going to ask, can you please let me come do one of those? I love to. I'm doing one. Are you in New York on the 16? Of this month? Yeah.

No. Oh, well, we're going to. I'll be in Florida. Okay. We're in Florida. Oh, Orlando. Fine. I will, we're trying to do it now to replace my Sunday, long story story story, we're going to be doing weekly, but we have to do them all in one night.

So I think the next one will film might be in November. We'll just, we'll exchange. And I may be in New York in November. Okay. Okay. Come on. Me literally, I'm like, we'll do Google Cal, like me, me sinking it now. Great.

On the live on the show. Got to put you on the spot. You know what I mean. Okay. Just in case it was a no. It's a real gun to the head. You know what I would love that. That would be fun.

It's fun. I mean, the good thing about it is you can't prep. for any of the questions. Yes. So you just are like, all right, who has a question? Depending on who the comic is to, more hands will raise or not raise. Like, Nikki, lots of hands raised. Then Keith Robinson got on and they're all scared of him so no hands went up.

I was like, Keith, you have scared away the audience. And that's so funny because I am split down the middle of those two people, if you would think. I would say in terms of intimidation. I would say it's a real split divide. You know what I mean? Like I do have a healthy dose of fear, but there are a lot of people who would like to know. You know what I mean? My thoughts.

I guess it is intimidating. Like you have to ask a question and it's kind of personal. And then obviously we're not, we don't ever make fun of. I don't like being mean. Yeah. It's like it's, it's better to have the audience ask you. Because I only, I don't do any crowdwork. I just, when I'm touring, it's just me and my hour.

I've worked very hard. But there's every once in a while, it's fun to do. And so I instead of being like, your hat looks stupid. I want like them to ask us the question. You know, and that's fair. I think that's really fun. When I've done any sort of live podcasting or live comedy, have done like we do a lot of like our audience submission thing and then we pick them we read them

and then we kind of talk to them live and I always say in the beginning because I we put this on the sheet where they filled it out that I consent to this being read on stage and so then I repeat that to the audience and I'm like that means I'm going to be holding your hand while I do this right and I may give you a raz or two but it's going to be fun we're going to have a good time and honestly it's really fun and I've watched it I'm like watching the clips of you guys doing it And I'm going, ha ha, oh man,

that'd be awesome. Like, that's me manifesting. Well, then come do it. That would be a good time. Thank you. I appreciate that. And it's on camera.

So now you can't take it back. So that's perfect. This will be used for court. Yeah, I will see you in civil court. Okay. But onto a better segue. I would love to talk.

Obviously, you are a very funny, very awesome comedian. I would love to know just initially how you got into comedy. Like, that's my favorite thing to ask stand-ups because everybody kind of has a similar

but different entrance into the world. So. Well, I didn't. I've said this a few times, but I've been doing stand-up 18 years now. And you're 25. How is that? How is that? After three hair transplants, I better look at least 29.

When you're younger, especially at that time, I didn't have access to seeing any gay men doing stand-up. Like, it wasn't available to me. Yeah. And it's kind of sad that, like, there's still not, like, a household gay man who's a 100% stand-up comic in the way that, like, Ellen or Rosie or Wanda or, you know. even like Chris Rock or Richard Pryor. But, you know, so it's cool to see all these like young queer artists just popping up over the past 10 years like in an incredible way. Long story short. So I was just like, oh, well, stand up's not for me.

But I have a very funny family. My mom's family is ridiculous. I have like 34 first cousins. They're all Italian and Mexican. Everyone's screaming and yelling at each other. So it's kind of like you're growing up with the like environment of comedy. Right. But I was doing, I think I think honestly watching people like Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho is like the first.

We've had Margaret on the show. I'm obsessed with Margaret Cho. She's so funny. I'm obsessed with her. Yeah. She's truly like one of the coolest people ever too. Like, chill. Yeah.

She's so normal. Yeah. I know. She, everywhere she goes, she has her little dog too, which I love. She always does.

I know, I've done like a bunch of shows with her and I said nothing because I was so like, an awe of her. And then finally we were doing some show together last year. And I was like, Mateo, you have to say something to her. So I was like,

Margaret, I was like, I just want to, you know, like I'm a really big fan and I've been together with room and I've never really said anything because I don't know what to say to you and like I listen to you my whole telling like just that thing where you just diarrhea of the mouth and then I her friend like challenge me because I go I know every single one of your jokes by heart

he goes really what's your favorite one and without missing a beat I just turned to her and I said I did this whole bit from which she's like miss Cho is it true the network asked you to play the part of yourself on your own television sitcom and asked you to lose weight the producer grabbed the mic and said there is no truth in that I was so hungry and she laughed. But yeah. But then once you started, my friend Anais was dating a really funny comic name, Marty De Rosa. And I was like, I want to try stand up. I had no idea what that meant. And this is in Chicago. And he was like, okay, he's like, you can do three minutes on my show. So 34 members of my family came, watch me bomb. And you're so me. I know.

That was me with my first five on Caleb show. I took 30 fucking people and I was like, come watch me bomb. But that's what you don't know. You know what I mean? It went well. It went well. I'm being silly. It was fine. Yeah, mine was fine. But I just, I knew I liked it. And then I met, I finally met another gay comic named Bill Cruz. And I was like, oh my God, they exist.

Yeah. And I just became obsessed. I did it every night. You do like four open mics a night, Monday to Monday. And then I got, I was an illustrator at the time professionally for TV commercials and fashion ads. So that moved to New York. And then I just kept it going in New York.

Oh, my God. Look at you. An artist through and through. I just be an artist. We. I'm a artist. Honestly, you have the look for that accent. For the French accent?

Yeah, for the French accent. Yeah. I really think it works. I could be like Greek, Italian, like Lebanese. I could just kind of fit anywhere near the Mediterranean. Yeah, you're a real Swiss Army knife. Kind of, but just like pasta. All the places that pasta thrives.

Yeah. That's so funny. I'm like, I think that's really funny what you said about your family too. Because I am not a stand-up, but I am funny and I do think I attribute that all the time to my family as well. I'm always like, honestly, I think, and let me know if this was the same for you. But like for me growing up, like telling, I had the toughest critics. Like my mom was a real like, I'm not going to laugh if it's not funny. So like one of the running jokes we have in my family that I like have talked about

on my other podcasts with my sister as well was like my brother. You know how they'll send out those emails for like America's Got Talent or American Idol and they'll be like seat fillers. Like it's like, oh, you want to come watch the show? Like come get this ticket, whatever. My brother got that in an email one. when he was very young, I think like 11. And he was like, oh, my God,

they want me to go on America's Got Talent. Like, he thought it was like an actual invite to the show. And then my mom was like, no, unfortunately, this is a seat filler thing. And he was like, okay, well, either way, I think I do want to try out for the show. Like, he was like, okay, whatever. As a what? Yeah, as a stand-up. Like, he was like,

I think I'm going to do stand-up. How old was he? Eleven. Girl. Yeah. Like, maybe 12. You know the worst fight about your legos? Like, what are you going to talk? about what you're about it. Well, that's the funniest part is because I wasn't, this is one of the few times in my life I can think where I'm glad that camera phones existed at the time because my

sister recorded it because I wasn't home. I was like, I was out doing something. His first stand-up. Like he was like, I have a bit. I want to workshop it. And he like set up all his stuffed animals as like an audience. And then there was my mom and my sister. And my sister was like not going to say anything. She was just going to record the whole time. So when he first starts the stand-up, like he's literally only talking about the show the office. That's it. And it's almost like because he just started watching the office. And so he thought it was relatable.

I'll give him that. Yeah. So he starts just basically just giving you a rundown to the office, like what goes on in the show. And then at one point my mom interrupts and this is the best part of the video because she interrupt. She goes, pause. Is this stand up or is this a retelling of the office? You got to tell jokes.

I'm not hearing any jokes. So. In relation to you, please, I need to know the rest of this. Did he make it to the show? Did he win? Did he get the golden buzzer? And what if I was going to say, and what if it ended with him getting the golden buzzer? I would take a picture right now and frame it to see the reaction of my face.

Because you know what? Why not? Yeah. I want to hear an 11-year-old run down the office for me. Tell me about Pam. Yeah, he's quite literally just telling you a recounting of the office. And he's not even really making fun of anyone. it he's just kind of letting you know and then as my mom was like I don't hear any jokes like not one

and then my brother my sister kept recording so my brother sits down in our like one of the rocking chairs we had we had like a lazy boy thing and he was sitting in it and you can tell he's so pissed off like he's listening because he's not one critique went in here he was like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about and that was hilarious and he wanted to be george carlin off the bat yeah he wanted like not only is there no let me get I need your opinion and your opinion should only be that I'm going to win. You don't know fucking anything, mom. Like, that's literally how my brother was looking at her

and he was just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, like not even listening to the criticism. And then my sister was like, do you want to try again? Like, do you want to try again? My sister says that. And then my mom goes, no, he needs to practice more. You need to practice. What's your mother's name? Noel. I'm sending Noel a muffin basket. I agree with Mama because I grew up my aunt Cindy was very much like that.

Really? Like my comedy idol. I love my aunt Cindy. I was just about to ask her. Have you had, if you had anyone give you feedback. She's the funniest person I know. There's a video of us. My uncle Mike somehow got a camcorder when we were younger. And me and my cousins are lit.

We all grew up next to each other. We all talk every single day. And my, he was interviewing each just one by one. Like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And we're just like my cousin Kelly said, Winnie the Pooh. Like clearly we're idiots. And then they get to my cousin Megan, who clearly had just had a temper tantrum. And so she's just like that.

And my uncle was like, Megan, where do you want to be when you're old? And she goes, nothing. And my aunt Cindy in the back room goes, yes. you're on your way there. That's the kind of person. When I was six or like seven, we went to go see Beauty and the Beast, right? It was a big thing, beauty to be. So we're sitting in the movie theater, me and all 8,000 of my cousins,

and I'm right next to my Aunt Cindy. The second The Beast turned back into a man, my Aunt Cindy said out loud, I don't like his nose. Other people can hear you. Oh, she doesn't care. You know of fights. She's gotten into him public. the amount of, I just love my aunt to me. She's funny. I love people like that in the family when you're like, you're, that's kind of my grandpa, Loki. Also my brother. My brother is unintentionally one of the funniest people I've ever met. Aren't those more rewarding though? Yes, it's so much better. It's like my brother has like this insane confidence, but also like he's such a know-it-all too. So it's one of those where it's kind of like, well, I mean, you could be doing evil things, but here you are just being annoying. Telling us about the office.

That's worse. He literally, my brother, I've been telling this story, this is recent. This was literally like a year ago. My brother's now in his 20s. He was once like, this is not funny, but this is just the context of the story. When someone says this is not funny, it's funny. Setting people up for failure. Oh.

Low key. But I'm just saying this is the context. My grandmother had recently passed away. Okay, that's not funny. My paternal grandmother. Right. You were right. Exactly.

So basically my dad was going to the funeral, but he was going to take my brother, because I had to work and my mom and sister work with me. So they had to come with me. We were basically dividing and conquering. My mom is like telling my brother the role out of what's going to happen. She's like, hey, so you're going to leave with daddy on this day and blah, blah, blah. And then he's just listening. He's like, okay.

And my sister's there too. Again, it's the three of them. I don't know what happens when the three of them are together. Something evil happens. Like something hilarious happens and I'm not there. That's why I think it's evil. But anyways, they're talking. And then my brother's just like listening.

And he looks kind of down. And my mom goes, are you okay? And he's like, yeah, I'm okay. And then she's like, what are you thinking about? We're talking about the funeral. Just again for a reminder. He goes, honestly, I need a cord from my other monitor. I was thinking about how I'm going to get another cord for my monitor.

He's talking about his computer at home. I play Fortnite. And I literally thinking to myself, I'm like, my brother's like, yeah, no one asked me, but I'm also going through a hard time. I kind of want to meet your brother. He's like, he sounds just. He is the funniest, silliest goose who's ever lived. and like my I think that that is a perfect example because my brother is unintentionally hilarious

but my my entire family has been like yours where they've been like do does your family love to like playfully roast each other and like make fun of each other all dayfully roasts each other we rip each other to shreds are you joking my uncle Mike we could well I was baby stepping there just in case because that's what mine is too no my uncle Mike we would I mean rosy my uncle Mike when we would have Christmas my the first thing we would do there was like my mom's one of seven. Well, technically one of 14, but we can get to that later. And so we've got like a million cousins. And the first thing we do is who does the best impression of how ridiculous my uncle Mike brushes his teeth. And it's usually my cousin, Megan, or like he broke his foot one time,

which was the bane of our existence for that month. And he was, we were sitting at the kitchen table and he saw this woman run by. And he was like, I wish I could run. And we were like, you never run. He's like, this family doesn't support me. We just all yell at each other. But we all know it's for fun, you know? Yeah, we used to be really big on making prank phone calls and recording them to play it for my aunt Cindy later. We'd call the pasta pro. And my cousin Brian would be this character named Linda McGuire. And so we'd go, hey, I had a couple of questions about to Pat.

And you're like, yes, what color is it? It's right. No matter what they said it was a problem. Well, it's red. I'm allergic to red. This sounds like a made-for-TV family. Yeah, we are pretty rigid. My grandpa's blind.

He's running into walls. We're like, there's a wall. Anyways, I was telling you went. Like, you know, just the kind of family grew up. Yeah. I feel the same way, too, like my entire family is so, like, like we like roast each other in a way that I feel like has hardened my shell right I've been very like I joke all the time I'm like my skin's made of vibranium if you guys grew up in my family like like that's honestly why when I like got big on TikTok for making fun of man and like being being being mean to them and I use quotes because what is mean like it's all relative in my opinion but like I literally got when they would make fun of me back obviously they would be like I would always get asked like does it bother me like of getting made fun of my looks whatever and I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I. Like, no.

And honestly, I think I would be a huge hypocrite if it did bother me because I make fun of other people's looks. Like, I have to learn how to take a joke if I'm going to tell jokes. Yeah. But also they're not funny. So that kind of works in my favor. Yeah. And I was like, but also like, I really don't think you guys know how to hurt feelings. I really don't think you guys understand what that means even.

Well, usually people in comments go for like the low bar, like the easiest thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or like if someone like, my favorite is like I was walking back the other day. I went and saw Spider-Man. And so I was like, it's a nice night. I'll walk back. I'm in New York.

So I'm walking in this drunk guy, wasted, is running from his girlfriend. I don't know what the situation was. She was on the phone with her friend. She's like, Jenny, he just won't stop. And he's like running. And when he ran past me, he literally goes, you're a faggot.

And I laughed so hard because I was like you. I yelled back. I said, you're literally running from pussy right now. I'm the faggot. Sure, I've got nice shoes. You're running from pussy. Pussy. Jenny, he called him a faggot.

I mean, it was so. Also, so drunk, but not drunk enough. Yeah. To forget that I need to call you a slur. Like, not that drunk. I'll tell you what. And also, like, and I'm in a rush, but not that much of a rush. Oh, no, no.

I would have, I was like, consider it in popcorn, I'm going to watch this. But I, like, you're going to call me a faggot. I'm like, and? Like, what? Well, all those kids in high school that call me a faggot. It was like, they weren't wrong. They were on to something. Okay.

Clocked. And. Yeah. Which feels very, I feel like, like you said, low hanging fruit. No pun intended with me. Yeah. That's also how I feel too about men who make fun of me because it's always fat and ugly. Or some variation of fat and ugly.

It's never anything past that. But like one time I told the guy who had, he had gyno, but specifically because he was taking steroids. That's an important context. Guy know. Gyno. It's like when their nipples like sag. Like they like, yeah, if you can believe. It happens to do to take a lot of gear, a lot of roids.

But your nipples sagged? Yes, girl. Like teats. They sag like teats. And that's the joke I made. Because what I said was, I was like your nipples look like you were the village wetners. That's a clock, bitch. You want to talk about a funny-ass joke.

That's funny joke. That was really good. And then I was like, I said that joke and that's like, I think, a more creative way of calling someone ugly in some regard. But just calling me fat and ugly is just calling me fat and ugly. No, I stopped looking at comments because it's just like, it can't. actually like stifle your creative process. That's a really good point. It does.

Because then if you start overthinking like, you know, and I'm not that kind of comic anyways. I'm not like, let me get them, you know. But if there are, occasionally when I will look at a comment or two, my favorites, if someone says something to me, I love when there's a spelling error. Me too. Because then I'm like, now this is just, I'll always write whatever word they meant to say. Like a there, they are there. Yeah, you put a little asterisk next to it.

Yeah. And I thought, you meant no one. That one's possessive. Sorry, I interrupted. Please continue. Yeah, go ahead. What are you saying? I'm gay.

Okay. And? That's a really good point, though, about comments stifling creativity. That's tea. It does. I've started, I've stopped looking at comments as of recently. It's something new I'm trying out, actually. Well, because it's like people want to see the good comments, but then the bad comments.

It's like, you have to accept all of them. It's like, or just don't. That's such a good way of looking at it. Make your artwork. And there's no way you're going to win everybody over. People won't like you or, you don't, represent me or you're not the right thing or that's not funny or I'm bad and it's like oh okay well but that person thought it was funny so who's who's right and who are you right it's one of those I feel

like um it does feel like that with comedy sometimes right where it's like well clearly this isn't for you you know what I mean every pod has its lid I know and I don't think I've ever left a comment on anything like on a YouTube video but all my YouTube videos are like who would win the scarlet witch or Dr. Doom like I'm such a fucking loser but you know or listening to Maria Collison masterclass in Juilliard. But I, you know, I am like at this point, if like you're watching something, you're like viscerally upset about it, I'm like, well, that, that feels like you're, that's about you. Yeah, you got something else going on. There's a plethora of, there's so, there's an unlimited amount of entertainment and, and if you don't, at our fingertips. At our

fingertips. It's like, just sort of search for what you like. If I popped up and you don't like it, okay, that's fine, but like, you, you, you watched it. So on some level you were interested. I guess the worst thing you life is to be boring. I just love, I just love, I just love, I really love your energy about it. You're just like, okay? Well, it just feels like, and, like, I've just been made fun of since I was a kid for being gay. So at this point, I'm like, God, I'm 40 years old. Like, I'm still going through this.

Like, let me just live. Yeah, for real. That was actually a great segue into my next question for you because I was going to ask. Am I gay? I'd like you to tell me not be honest with me. Well. Depends on who you ask. Remember the other week when I was talking about how excited.

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and use my promo code comment for over 40% off your first subscription order. It's instant hydration's best offer available. That's instant hydration. slash comment promo code comment I was gonna ask since you I know you've been doing comedy for a while and obviously now the internet and comedy like intersecting sure I always ask a lot of my stand-up friends this question too because especially those of those of them who have been doing it like you offline far longer than online right so it's like I'm so curious your thoughts on how the internet has kind

of intersected with comedy do you think there's good in it bad in it both well I think it's both I mean look before I started posting in 2020 And there's a few parts to this. I would say the good part is I would have never had a chance otherwise. No one would book me. No one would put me on nothing. I mean, I tried everything under the sun. I was living in an addict.

I was homeless, basically. I mean, I was like, the only thing keeping me alive was the comedy seller. And I could pay for rent and food. And everything else was like, that was it. And once I started putting stuff online, I removed the gatekeepers. Because the problem when you have gatekeepers at that time, which already feels like million years ago, you know, you have to kind of, I remember meeting with HBO and talking to them. I was like, you know, like this is my hour. And they, I don't know if it was this, but it felt in my mind.

And I could be wrong. I accept that. But sometimes with queer stand up because you're, when you're gay, they want, people want to associate you with your trauma. So watching someone just going on stage, just telling jokes, it's like, what's the hook? Yeah. You know, while it's not, it's a bit different for other people, you know? I think anyone who's marginalized in any kind of way can understand that. But that was my own insecurity. I don't necessarily know that's the truth. But I just didn't feel comfortable trying to find something to be sad about. I was like, I'm talking about things, but making them, whatever.

So once I started putting things online, it removed someone else's idea of what I should be doing and allowed me to be me. And then it blew up. And it was like, okay, so I wasn't wrong. Like, I can hear the audience is laughing. Yeah. I think I'm not, you know. But then that allowed me to just kind of create my own little world. I mean, I had my own YouTube channel, and I just got to put up the stuff that I thought was funny and continue to stand-up.

But so the positive about that is it gave me an opportunity for exposure in a way I would have never gotten. Totally. So now I can tour and I can go all over the world. It's an amazing life. I really love it. I think the downside is when you're a young comic, I also have to accept that I'm old and that this is just the way things move. But, I mean, I had at that point 14 years of stand-up behind me that I could post online while writing, while knowing that I could work material out at certain clubs. Well, I was more in a system.

So I think the disadvantage for younger comics where, yes, you can get exposure and you can get an audience. And I think that's great. But there's also nothing wrong with being ready. So I think the building material for 10, 15 years and then I think those days might be gone. So there may be people who are putting out material too fast or not getting time to develop it. And that's just the name of the game. But I actually don't know if that's true. That would be my fear.

Yeah. But for me... Well, you've seen it with some comics like straight male comics who get specials almost immediately in their fucking dog shit. That's how you know. Because you got rewarded for the following and not for the material. So I'll say it for you. Yeah. I mean, I still had to put my first special on YouTube.

And then my second special, I got a Hulu special, which was great. And then now we're trying to figure out what to do for this next one. But I've had a very good experience because, you know, it's nice to be able to go around the world and do stand-up. And it's crazy. It is crazy. And I agree with you, too, on your first note about how to, it was able to put yourself out there in a way that you never would have been able to prior to that. When I started doing this, too, I, like, had talked about how I was just telling my friends the story. yesterday, but I was like, when I finally like broke through something where I could like actually

start doing this for a living and making money, because I wasn't making any money off of it for a while, I was just doing it for the love of the game and the game alone. I remember like thinking at the time, like, because a lot of brands would ask me after or like interviews, if I did interviews, they would be like, oh, like, what was the moment? Like that really like broke through. And I was like, honestly, like, they did not get to a point where they were like, you know what, misogyny is bad. We should talk about that. That's not what happened. What happened is I got so big that they were like, all right, fucking fine.

Sure. Like, that's, I forced my way in the door. And that's why I always say, like, that's what I love the internet for. Obviously, it's been twisted and warped in awful ways now. And more recently especially. Right, exactly. And humans tend to do that. Exactly.

And so, like, but what I loved about it was that it gave, like you said, marginalized people exposure that otherwise they never would have gotten, like ever in a million years. And it's like it's platformed a lot of people who deserve to be heard and seen for whatever it is that they have that grew them the platform. But like especially for marginalized people. I was like that's why the internet was like pivotal because I had one of my friends who's an actor asked me like, like, how can we never majored in like theater or anything like that? And I was like because I didn't think there would be a future for me in it. Like quite literally speaking, I was like nobody looks like me. Nobody's built like me.

Somebody asked me. I said, how old were you until you saw a gay man do stand up? I said 23. And you remember the exact. age. I was Bill Cruz. That's how long I had to wait to see a gay man do stand-up comedy. Yeah.

23 years. Which is crazy. But it's just the way it was. Yeah, exactly. And I remember listening to people like Kathy talking about gay people in a positive issue. Kathy Griffin was the first person I ever heard mentioned gay men in a positive way. No. I was afraid for her career.

That's how internalized my homophobia was because I was so used to be in the butt of the joke. No pun intended. That, you know, I mean, but there was just a lot of internalized homophobia. And there was a lot of fear going into it. And honestly, a lot of fear about what the men would be like at the open mics. But I found that it was not what I expected. When I went to open mics, I was often the only gay in the room or one of few. And comics in general just care if you're funny and work really hard and you're easy to work with.

And so I watched myself realize, oh, this wasn't, it doesn't mean I didn't hear the homophobia, the racism, and the misogyny. But you know what? 99% of the comics you start with in open mics, they don't continue doing stand-up. Right. So it's like only a few of you are kind of left after this much time. You know, so you just have to kind of wade it out. Yeah.

But I've heard everything. You know, everyone said everything you could possibly imagine about me or you got that because you're gay or got this because you're gay or blah. It's like, oh, okay. Sorry, I'm like one of zero. You know what I mean? My bad. Historically speaking.

Don't want to intrude on your space. My bad. That's why it was so, it was like, it was a cool time when I came up because it was like, really funny, talented people like Joel Kambuster, Coloskola, John Early, you know, interesting. And I'm like, can't you see that all of us are wildly different? No, for real.

But I think people just, especially like, even today, like big bookers for streamers, they just say you're gay, that's it, that's all you are. You're in that category. I'm like, okay, but I like being gay. Yeah. But also, we're all different. We're not a monolith. I don't know what to say. Okay, fine. We all like the gold. We don't. Yeah, okay, that's

one thing. Right. Okay, you got that one. Okay. Yeah. Well, this is also one of my favorite questions to ask comics, but like what's your favorite city to tour in? Oh, like the best crowds. Well, Chicago's always great. Love.

London has absolutely, you know it was the best was Spain. No way. They were unbelievable. Really? Yes, I had some of the best time at Barcelona and Madrid, these big gorgeous theaters. Actually, Madrid is where they do The Lion King. And I was like, can I wear the Zazu outfit? They're like, please don't touch.

But they were. You said, no, you're not that funny. I know. Wait a minute. They came out as like a Zazoo. But they were so, they, those audiences blew me away. I love New York audiences too. And L.A. is always good too.

But sometimes you go to like smaller cities, like not like Miami and New York and L.A. and San Francisco. Like if you're in Kansas City, Missouri, you know, they're like exceptional. They're just so happy. fun. That's a really good point. And like one of my, someone on my team once said to that in the smaller towns, they're almost always awesome crowds because they're like just grateful that you're there. And they're also, you know, they're not jaded. Like could I see Broadway tonight? Maybe I'll go

to Madison Square Garden. And I think I'm going to go, you know, it's like. Yeah, like L.A. New York are really spoiled with how many people come and are constantly in town. But like when I played like Ohio, I was like, oh, girl. It's enough. It's just enough. When I played Ohio, I said, man. You would have thought I sold out MSG in Ohio. I had so many things that have happened to me in Ohio. Me and Nicole Byer are always having problems in Ohio. Love Nicole Bayer.

I went on her show. She's so funny. She's truly the best. Love her. Yeah, she kept me alive for a long time too. I love Nicole. Yeah, but I would say the best cities. I really love London.

I mean, I'm touring all over Europe. I have six Europe tours on this tour. I love Australia too. Melbourne, there are some of the best audience. I've never been to Australia. I had one of the best shows ever. at the Palais in Melbourne. Last time I did it in September.

It's fun. That's a cool thing. It's like you could travel all over the world and do that. And get like different energies from different people. Yeah. The Italians always clap a lot. Without laughing or do they just laugh? Like giggle and then like kind of look at each other and clap.

And I'll be like, you have to laugh. And sometimes I translate for myself on stage if I don't think they understand what's happening. But they're an amazing crowd. But they're just so like. You know? Polite. They're polite with it.

Yeah. Yeah. They're thinking very polite. I'm not making this up the French. Literally, I put this in one of my acts, but it's the honest to God truth. I was doing like a 2000 seat theater in France.

I was so excited. In Paris, this is amazing. Yeah. Blah, blah. And I'm used to Americans where like if I ask a question, the answer is yes, you know, everyone goes, woo.

Yeah. So I asked it. 2,000 French people went, yes. Kind of ominous. I was like, okay. In the next. Netherlands, I went on stage and I said, before I start, I want you to know that I know that you know that you don't laugh. And they all laugh because they'll just, they'll stare and then afterwards be like, that's the hottest I've ever laughed in my life.

Like they just expressed themselves so differently, you know. Around the world. Yeah, it's crazy. Mexico City was amazing. Otko and I co-haping Mexico City. I love Otzko. I love. Oh my God.

Oh, my God. And a great hang. A great hang. the funnest person ever. I saw her at one of Questlove's game nights. I wish I could sit with Questlove and ask him every question he was about Mariah Carey, but that's for another time. I just feel like he is a vault because he actually published my first book,

but he is like a vault of tea. I just know. And every time I would see him, like I remember the very first time I met him was when I pitched my book to him and he wanted to come in person to meet me. And so like we talked for a while. And then he was very like stoic and he was very like, it's very cool.

That's very interesting. Like he was very like, cards to the chest. I was like, no worries. And then when he was, he's like, I'm so sorry,

I do have to leave a little bit early because I have, you know, the show to do. And I was, well, you said, I have to leave a little early.

I have another commitment and I go, what do you got a fucking show or something? And I made that joke without even thinking, like I should probably not be cracking jokes

in this meeting where I have not signed any papers yet. But I made a funny joke and what do you got somewhere to fucking be. That's how I said it. And that is the only time I've made him laugh. But when I say laugh, I say that.

That's very generous because he went like, hmm. Yeah, but from Questlove. That's like him like gutbusting. That's huge. Yeah, I heard an interview with him and Mariah Carey. Anyways, but yeah. Well, he, yeah, with him, like I saw him or saw Otko at Questlove's Game Night. And I remember I was sitting at a table and I was talking to my friend and we were kind of chatting.

And then she came over and she goes, whatever you do, don't sit at that table. And I like look over and they were playing a game. I was like, why? She goes, they're playing Scrabble, but they're playing for real. Oh. And she was like, and they were trying to make me think of words. I don't want to do that. I'm drinking.

Yeah. I was like, okay. When it comes to board games, oh, there's a card game that Bob and I will get you addicted to. It's called Combo. Have you ever played it? No. Oh.

But I love a game night. You'll come over. We'll do it one night. Please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's also on camera so you can't rescind it. You are welcome. Bob's studio is right over there.

And I'll text Bob right now on. his droid. He's had his aunt Hazel's, I think 70th birthday party. I know. I was like he's always doing something. Hey, y'all, it's Drew. And I want to talk to you all about something a little bit serious, but still very helpful. So if you're anything like me and you experience a lot of intrusive thoughts throughout your day. And sometimes they can be extremely debilitating, get in the way of your workflow, your ability to just function in general, then attributing it to something like anxiety. If you experience that just like I do, this is for you because for millions of people, That's not just anxiety.

That's OCD. And most of them have no idea. Not the organizing stereotype. Real OCD is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character. Along with mental or physical behaviors, you feel driven to do to get relief, even when it never actually comes. These thoughts can feel very real, which is what makes them so upsetting. OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy. It needs ERP.

Exposure and response prevention therapy proven to be the most effective treatment. NoCD is the world's largest provider of OCD treatment covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy in live face-to-face virtual sessions with support between sessions so you're never facing OCD alone. If you're struggling with OCD or unrelenting intrusive thoughts, no CD can help. book a free 15-minute call to get started at nocd.com. Bob also does this thing where he doesn't text you. He calls you and I'll be doing something and I'll go. And then he calls right again.

I'm like as if I didn't see it the first time. Now I think there's like an emergency. So I'm like, well, hold on. I was like, Bob, is everything okay? Yeah, what's going on? He knew you were ignoring him. Of course. I'm like, I'm doing something.

And he does have a droid. I'm not kidding about that. I don't want to talk about his phones. It's insufferable. I'm not kidding about that. He has green levels. He has eight phones. and then he can never find any of them.

And then he claims he has an iPhone, but it's never the iPhone. It is an insufferable situation. He's spreading about himself is that he has an iPhone, but he does not. He has it, but it's always over there. Like, it's never, like, where you want it to be. That's like Caleb. Caleb has that dumbass, dumb phone. Well, Nick still has a fucking Android.

And I'm like, this week, I can't face time because I, do you have WhatsApp? I'm like, yes, I have WhatsApp. It's insufferable. Okay, back to, back to, back to, cities. I want to know what's a city that you're not the biggest fan of. Almost anything in Ohio. I think, I'm kidding. I'm joking. No, but Ohio, so there's something always happening in Ohio with me. I don't know what it is. Last moment of Ohio, my plane literally almost didn't land. The storm was so bad. Then me and River, River Butcher, who was a great

comic, he was opening for me and someone heckled him, which no one heckles ever at my shows. And then I was with Nicole. I got called a drive-by faggot, which the speed limit was 50 miles an hour. I was like, how gay did I look in the distance? You know, then I hurt my knee when her and I went to the pool. And then she was got hecklers about Trump. And she kept, she was confused because she'd move past that bit. So now they're yelling at her. And she's like, is this about Black Santa?

Because she was already on a new bit about Black Santa. It was so confusing. And every, yeah, just every time I go to Ohio, I'm like, something is always, I'm bracing myself. Yeah, you're in a past life. You did something terrible there. I don't know. You're like, I can't be in this. I can't be in this state.

Yeah. That's so funny of all the states I could have said. I said Ohio. And then you were like, that's so funny, you bring that up. I fucking hate Ohio. No, no, no, I don't hate Ohio. That is not, I don't want this narrative. I know, I'm kidding.

But, Ohio doesn't like you. Something's going on. I lost a leather coat there because this, it was the whole thing. I just have so many stories of Ohio. I've never had a single problem in St. Louis. I mean, it's just like, Detroit, you're great. I mean, I have no. But usually the shows are all pretty, like, it's all, they're all pretty good.

I mean, audiences, they're excited. They're coming to see you, you know, you go back to markets. after two years and you have a new hour and you're trying to build. I was going to ask about tour. How do you like touring? I love touring. Do you like the on the road lifestyle? Yes.

Look, you have to know what you're getting into and you have it is a lot of work. Yeah. It is very tiring. Yeah. You're not home a lot. But I was dreaming of doing this forever. So look, planes and different hotels and not seeing family, not seeing friends, missing out on gate, you know, it's there's, you're kind of alone a lot too.

I mean, there's like a feeling of displeaning. placement sometimes, but when you get to stand up on stage, you're like, oh, yeah, this is what it was all about, you know. But I could tour like, I love that, though. Oh, I love it. There's different ways to tour you. I could have gotten on a bus and done the whole thing in like five months, but I'm like, I'm not, what am I in a rush for? You know what I mean? Like, I'm not a rush. I'm not on a TV show. So my tours are usually quite long because I usually only do three weekends a month. But that is like two cities. And so, you know, you get like three or four days home in New York. So I have some semblance of a normal life. It's like half my week, I'm,

On a plane or the other half, I'm at home playing Fortnite or dress to impress. Those are your two favorite games right now? Yeah, but right now I'm back into StarCraft. My friend Chris and I really, it's a whole thing. Are you a big gamer? Yes. Ooh, T. Are you PC, girl? I have a PC, yeah.

And a PS5. And I have a Nintendo Switch. Well, kind of, I have all of those things, too. I'm joking. I'm saying that as if I don't own all of those things as well. What games are you into? I like third person story games. So I love, like, I've played like all the Assassin's Creed games.

The Ghost of Sushima. I liked Gose Yote. Did you play Legend of Zelle? Did you play Breath of the Wild? I started Breath of the Wild on the Switch. Yeah. It is weirdly hard for what I thought Zelda would be. I hadn't played Zelda in years.

Yeah. But like it was fun though. Give it another shot because it's truly the best. That's so funny. Yes. Literally yesterday my sister's girlfriend was telling me to play Breath of the Wild. No, you should give it another shot. She's a big Zelda fan.

Really. It's, I wish I could like erate. I wish I could eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. my mind with that game so I could replay it and feel those feelings for the first time. That's how I feel about Ghost of Yote which was the second Ghost of Tsushima

that's how I feel about that game and I beat it But you would love it's almost the same It's very similar That's literally why my man got me Breath of the Wild Because I really think you'll like it It's very similar to the ones you love Because I love story games and like the fantasy stuff But like not too fantasy

Because I did try to play Baldersgate No I don't like Baldersgate I tried but I hate what it looks like I don't like when it looks like a little chat. I want to run around. I don't want to do shit. So I was like kind of bummed because I really wanted to do the relationship stuff. I was like, yeah, I'm trying to fuck everyone. Yes, of course I am.

And then I realized you have to do all that ugly stuff in order to get there. And I was like, can't play this. Sometimes I'm like in video games. I'm like, I have my own errands to run. Like I haven't gotten a haircut in four days, but I'm worried about getting this seed for this witch in a town that like, I got to go. That's all I felt playing the Witcher.

Oh, the Witcher is so annoying. I was living with Evan Williams at the time in New York and he was playing. He's like, every time I'd walk in, I'm not kidding you. The character was auditioning for a play. I said, this is what you do. You go on auditioning. I swear, man, you're just fucking huge dragon battles. And then I came in next time and he was on a horse naked with a woman.

I said, this is a telenovela. Yes, exactly. And I was trying to get a piece of it. And honestly, when I tried it, it's just like there's a little too much. I think it would be more fun to play on a PC, probably, because I was playing it on the PS5. I was playing on a PS5 for a long time. Now I'm PC because I stream. I really like streaming.

But the games that I like... I bet you're so fun to watch on stream. What do you play on stream? I play dressed from press. Okay, fun. I've played that many times too. It's very fun. Nick thinks he's Miranda Priestley.

Clearly it's a game for seven-year-old girls and I guess 40-year-old gay men. For the meanest little girls you've ever met in your entire life. Oh, Nick's just as me. Well, Nick also fight. Like, when you play Fortnite, like, sometimes there's like an open spot

so the game fills it in with random people. And Nick will always argue with a kid. Because they'll say such... Kids are mean. People are like there's the innocence of a child. I was like, where? Play Fortnite for five minutes. There's no innocence life.

Go in that call-a-duty lobby girl. Oh, Call-a-Duty. My friend Jacob and I had a very viral clip of us playing Call-A-Duty because before we were murdered, he looked at the wallpaper and said, oh, I could live here. This is a cute wallpaper. I'm not getting here. We have it filmed. This is cute.

I can live here. This is nice. This is nice wallpaper. Dome piece from behind. And then they just. It threw a grenade at us. When I tell you how quickly we die, I could not. That was the hardest I think I've laughed in my life.

And every time I try catching my breath till Jacob, I was like, Jacob, do you think in the history of Call of Duty that anyone was like, well, I could live here? It's like beaten down like Russia, like with a nuclear bomb outside. I was going to say it's like in a war-torn country. It is. It is. I can do this. There's zombies outside the fucking window. Yeah.

Did you have an overcooked phase with your friends? Did I have an overcooked phase? There is a video of me, Bob, and Nick playing overcooked. When I tell you, we are, it is so aggressive. I know Bob loves video games too. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Me and Bob during the pandemic where it was like Fortnite every day.

But we were, when we were playing overcooked and now we play overcooked and Nick keeps gell. Nick yells at us like he's a manager. I need a cucumber, rice and ham, rack them. I'm like, rack them, you know, and he's screaming. Car me from the fucking bear. Okay. I always play as a little fox, like the fox chef and overcooked.

I love it. I forget who I was. But overcook, if you're listening, fix your fucking servers because it always fucking shuts down on us and it's insufferable. But that game gets hard. I know that game is so hard. And me and my sister hit a real flow state when we play together. And then we had like two extra controllers and my brother and my husband wanted to play. Oh.

And then they joined for maybe one game. And I was like, you guys have to get off. Like you, you're not operating on the levels that we're operating on. It's a game meant to yell at your friends. Yeah. It is a game specifically meant to scream at your friends and call them fucking idiots and pieces of shit. Literally. And Nick is like my friend, Donnie would be like, Nick, Nick, listen to me when I say this to you.

When I fucking see you, I'm going to drop you on your fucking head. Yeah, do it. It's on sight. Oh, I would live here. This is cute. I live here. This is cute. Yeah, this Woffyber is cute.

What's your favorite video game of all time? Super Metroid. What is it? Super Metroid. What's that? Super Metroid for Super Nintendo. Or Pokemon Crystal. T.

My man loved the fucking Pokemon games. I think I only played like two of them. Well, the last two have been shit. Yeah. That IP has more money than Disney. And they spent, I think, three and a half dollars on that last game. I mean, Pokemon, if winds and waves are not good, I'm going to. I'm gonna freak out.

I'm gonna scream. I love that you play video games. That's great. I know it's one of the few things. Sometimes I get asked to stream and I'm like honestly, I would love to because I do talk a lot when I play games. Like, and I, that's just for me. And honestly, like one time someone was like, what's a game you love to play? Like a video game you love to play with your husband?

And I was like, honestly, the one where he sits on the couch and watches me play and laughs at all the jokes I make. Yeah. That's my favorite game. Well, because when I was little, we would all sit around my cousin Michael. He was the oldest, so he was the best of video games. It was kind of like, it feels a little bit like a modern version of that. I used to do that with my cousins all the time, too. Like, we used to make one play that was really good.

And then we would all watch. And it's fun. And that's how I grew up with my dad, too. Like my dad and I used to love playing video games together. And so. What games do you guys play? When we were younger, like, I played, we loved Mario Card. That was like a huge.

My family, that's like one of the few games my mom likes to play. because my mom doesn't really fuck with video games like that. But I was just telling my man this the other day that like, you know, the movie, Recat Ralph. Yes. When that movie came out, me and my family were so geeked because when I was a kid, I forget my parents were young when they had me. So like my, they had my sister at 18 and me at 20. Work. So like when we were like around the age where we could start playing video games, my parents are like in their late 20s.

And I'm forgetting that like everything my parents showed us were things that they thought were fucking awesome. Like that's kind of like I realized that because there's. There's a gap in my childhood where like a lot of women will talk about like the Barbie movies and stuff. I never watched any of those because I only watched like 80s movies with my parents. Like yeah. So that's why Uncle Buck's like one of my favorite movies all time. Because oh my God. And it's just one of the funniest movies ever.

And I literally think it's because my parents were showing me shit they liked. Yeah. So like I played 80s arcade games like a lot growing up. So like Tapper and like the I forget the name of the float one. And then there's like Frogger and like things like that. that Tetris, all of those were like my favorite video games growing up because I played them with my dad. Yeah. And my mom too.

My mom is really good at Tapper. We, that game, my mom is so good at that game. I don't know what it is about that. We used to watch my cousin Michael played Doom when it was on the old. Oh, yeah. Yes, of course. Yeah. And it was so scary.

I mean, we're all screaming. The monsters were scary. So we'd just be around. We turn the lights off and play Doom and like the monster like, ah! You know, just screaming at the doom. Doom was so much fun. I know it's so fun. I used to love my cousin Brian is also gay.

And we used to play The Sims. My aunt soon was like, I love the Doll House. I love the Sims. I love the Sims. We would make two women gay live with each other and one in a beautiful, gorgeous gown. And we wouldn't let her do anything.

All she would do is like work on like playing piano and reading books and blah, and the other one, we were like, what if we like she doesn't go to bed? So like, you know what I mean? Because you can keep them up for every. this one. Right. So every time she would try falling asleep, you like tap, you're like, wake up, wake up. You know what I mean?

Like, like, how long can we keep her awake for? You know, so it was like, we invite the neighbors over. Like, okay, kill them. You know, lock the doors, kill them. I love the Sims. And I used to, I would, low-key, I would be like, I would be building trad wife communes, like, in my Sims, unintentionally. But I would literally, I would evict the richest family. Obviously, I would cheat, get all the money.

I'd evict the richest family. And then I would marry her to the best looking one. If there wasn't a good looking one, I would just make another one. And then I would send him to work because I just don't want to see him. I'm like, I don't fucking care about this guy. Go make money. And I would like send him to work. And then she would just have babies and raise them.

Great. And then all her kids would do chores and stuff. I would like do it like that. And then I would have, I would marry off the kids. And then I would repeat the cycle like over and over again. But like just the man was just never allowed in the house. I was like, you're not allowed here. I don't care if you're hungry.

I don't care. Go figure out. Yeah, we would kill the husbands. And then we would like, court new ones. Yeah. You know, but we'd have his gravestone

right outside the front door. It's like a reminder. I love decorating, too. Oh, I think the password was Rosebud. Yeah. That gave you all the money, which in retrospect,

could we think of it's different. Right. Rosebud. Jesus Christ, extreme. But, yeah, we would just build like gorgeous houses, like keep getting new husbands,

kill the other ones, line up the gravestones. See if that one girl ever sleeps. Oh, guess we'll find out. I know. She would ever once. more like like she's like no no no yeah you know we're like get more espresso the kids we want the kids out of the house well yeah exactly i would do that too one time i literally got like the college expansion

pack where like my sim could go to college so like i sent her to college and then you know you can pick like a life goal for them yes and for her i picked to have uh it was like to have 20 boyfriends at once and i was like obviously i'm going to pick that one obviously and i got i think i got to like 12 and then two of my man, two of my boyfriends had the same class as me and then they broke up with me and then my sim was too sad to do anything. I mean, it was a weird human experiment. It's so strange. Yeah.

We like want big houses and then just like do weird things. I just love, I'll just never forget the imagery of like a woman in a perfect ball gown playing piano and the other ones outside. Just like, can I sleep? I just wanted to see how long we could go. And let's see how long this one stays alive. Yeah. And the gravestones of the ex-husbands.

How'd your last husband die? Swimming accident. I realized, too, this with my sister the other day, that, like, a lot of our favorite shows, like, there were shows, like, we didn't really latch onto Pokemon or, like, Dragon Ball Z or anything like that. And I started realizing that all my favorite shows were all women. Yeah. Like, anytime they were centering on mostly men, I was like, why would I ever... Did you ever watch Sailor Moon?

I did love Sailor Moon. I loved Sailor. I loved Sailor Moon. Love Sailor Moon. And I've recently gotten into anime again because I started watching JJK, and I've never watched it before. Oh, great. I have a lot of good animations. I mean, when I was in fourth grade,

Sailor Moon came out at 6 o'clock in the morning at WCIU, Channel 26, the U, and I would watch it every morning. I was obsessed. Oh my God, yes. But it was a solo experiment because I couldn't talk about it at school. I didn't know if anybody else watched it. That's great. Like kids today, like if they like Sailor Moon,

they have access to everything. I know. And it's also, I think, not like to kind of drop back to like the Internet. That was another thing I think I loved about the Internet too, was that you could find community and things that you loved. It's made it easier, I think, for younger kids now who love things like anime or love things like Sailor Moon to be able to find people who also enjoy it. So they don't feel as alone. I think that's really sweet of the internet too.

But that's one of the few good things that have come out of it. Yeah. I would say. Good stuff's come out of it. Yeah. There's a lot of evil come out of it too, but you know. Kind of gloss over it. Okay.

Now I do want to ask you kind of another career question. Sure. Now that you're kind of like, you're in this, like, amazing level of comedy and you're getting to do all these wonderful things. what's like the next goal for you? You've done a lot of awesome things. So what's like, what would you say is your next big, big goal that you're manifesting? This is the place we manifest. I always say that to all my guests.

Oh, God, I'm so bad at manifesting. I feel like, I don't know. This is not a pageant answer, but it is the truth. Like, I didn't think I'd get here. Like, I headlined Radio City and I got to do Broadway. I am thrilled. I don't have any other giant ambitions. I love things I'd love to do to be able to play.

to play like Amy Sedaris characters. I love playing like weird characters. I do a bunch of different voices and stuff. Yes. So I was going to ask if you wanted, if you thought about doing voice acting. I just voice acted a French film that's now coming to the, as Anglophone. But yeah, I do love doing voice acting. That was a voice actor on Family Guy.

I did some other voice acting too. Oh my God. How I thought I love Family Guy. I know. I have to be, me and Marie Foster always talk about Family Guy. But I honestly, if I could just keep performing in these beautiful theaters and keep writing jokes, I just, I like my life now. Anything else that comes from it is great. There's certain things I'd like.

Like, I'd love. I wish, you know, I had easier access to certain things. But, yeah, I don't know. I kind of, I like my life. I don't have any more ambition. Like, I don't really want to be like wildly famous and have all this money and have six houses and have. No, same. stressful. I like my one apartment.

And I mean, I wish I maybe get like an apartment in Rome or something. Fun. Yeah. I think that's beautiful. I think you look at your career in the world and it through a very grateful lens. And I think that's beautiful. Yeah, I didn't think I was getting any of this. I mean, I already got my hair transplant.

So I'm like, I don't have any other ambition. Mama, I've made it. I made it. That was my first big purchase. I was like when I get money, I'm going to get hair transplant. And I did it. I did it. I paid my parents back for college.

Mike, we didn't have money growing up at all. And so I was the first kid to go to college. And I had to get loans and I had to work, obviously, blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, I had to pay those loans back. And so my parents were helping me and then, so finally I was able to do that, which that was like a nice thing for me to be like, hey, thank you. That's so awesome. But I like being able to work with my friends. I involve all my friends and everything that I do.

If I can, I will. Yeah, I love it. You know, I mean, Nick's ruining my life. But, you know, like besides that. But besides that vamp. Empire. Everything's awesome. So I know it's not the answer you're looking for. I wish I could say I want to No, it is. That absolutely is. And I love

those things, but I also, I'd like to do, I'm going to do Broadway again. So fun. But I don't know. I'm kind of quite happy. Every day I wish I had the chops to be on Broadway. I wish. It was the most fun thing I've ever done. I can only fucking imagine. I loved it. It's incredible. It's incredible. I mean, I hated the suit I wore, but everyone knew that. But I loved doing it. It was truly so much fun.

That's fucking incredible. And if I could sing, I would be a terror. I just know it. I know that's why the universe did not give me that gift. You can always learn. You can take voice lessons. I know. Everyone always tells me that.

Do you want to sing something right now? Everyone with a wonderful voice always tells me that. Sure. They're trying to make me feel better. And I was like joking with Dylan Mulvaney about Broadway. Yeah. Love her. Love.

She's the best. And a fucking ball. Yeah. She's so fun to hang out with. But we were talking about Broadway. And I said something that shocked her Because she would just, I think didn't think I I knew Broadway like that. I didn't know Broadway

Ball like that. And I told there She's like, oh my God, you are a Broadway girl. And I go, yes, girl, I just don't have the chops. Yes, of course I do. Well, I mean, okay, can you sing at all? I'm not tone deaf. That's what I always say. Well, we're already like, we've moved well beyond

to functional here. There's nothing, tone deaf is like you can't get around. Right. It's a little ear mental thing. Right. So I'm like, it's not terrible. Your speaking voice has nice resonance. So I feel like you should be able to manipulate that with the proper training.

I mean, maybe. I like, and honestly, like, singing is the one thing that truly makes me feel so afraid and, like, nervous. So you wouldn't sing right now? No. Oh. I was like, we could do voice lessons right now. No, I'm getting nervous now. Oh, I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

No, no. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I literally just like, I just. I just know it's like, it's not the best. It's not even really that great. So I'm not going to do it. I mean, they had Jerry Springer play my role in Chicago.

So let's not act like. I know. Honestly, I'm like, is there a lot of, is there a speaking role that maybe I can take? Yeah, I would love. Well, but you want to be in a musical. I do want to be a musical. Why don't you start taking voice lessons now? So you give yourself the year.

Take voice lessons like three times a week. Tea. And then you could see like where you're, where you've settled in a year from now. And if you're ready, that you should go for it. You think? Yeah. Oh my gosh.

You seem really passionate about it. I am. What would you be your dream role? Oh my God. What would be my dream role? Okay, just one. I would want to be L. Woods and Legally Blonde the musical. Oh, I mean, that would be fantastic.

That is one of my favorite musicals. I know. That's why I said I'm like shooting for the moonland. Courtney, take your break. That entire discography, top to bottom I could do. Okay. And that's, but that's just, again, like, I feel like the movie Rudy, like, I have all of the power and passion. None of the talent. Now I need a bunch of fucking big guys to go put their jerseys in the office in Broadway and be like, I'm not playing unless Rudy plays. I need that shit.

Do you want me, do that at the ambassador? Yeah, you should. You should. Just work it in. I'm sure you got time. I'll do it. I'll get you. Thank you. I appreciate that. But speaking of you being on Broadway, I do have fun facts about you. No.

To kind of round out our, our episode. here. Great. Well, you'll let me know if they're fun. Okay. And if they're not fun, I count a strike against Amanda. Okay. And Amanda's our producer.

Okay. Okay. So, first fun fact. You studied oil painting and opera singing for five months in Umbria, Italy, and you used to sing Ave Maria at weddings and funerals. Well, yes. I studied Italy. I studied painting in Italy.

Okay. I mean, I was a full-blown professional. I studied opera in Chicago. That's cool. Yes, I was. I was basically like the cancer. So anytime someone died or got married, here came my gay ass showing up. Oh, ridiculous.

That's insane opera singing. Okay, miss, I can sing anything. Thank you. Yeah, I know. My God. Okay, it says when you first moved to New York, you got a job illustrating a video game that taught office compliance. Yeah, so I went from a storyboard artist for TV commercials and fashion ads, which was such a story.

strange job because one week you're drawing for DSW, the next is Lexus, then the Monopoly game. You know, so you kind of have to have, if you can draw like a bunch of different stuff, then you can work. I mean, you can really work. Yeah. So then my friend Aaron was working for this company. They had like, it was a, it was, I forget what it was called. True Office, I think. And they needed an illustrator to like illustrate everything, right? So I would just sit there and I had two screens. I'd watch the Golden Girls on one screen and then just draw all day. Draw a woman in office, draw this, draw what this would look like, draw that, you know, and just kind of going back and forth, but drawing.

Oh my God, you're such a Renaissance woman. I know, thank you. You can do everything. What the fuck? That's crazy. Can you speak multiple languages? Four. Okay, bitch.

I fucking knew it. Can you? I literally knew it. No, I cannot speak four languages, Mateo. Can you speak one language? One other language? Well, English. Just kidding.

Yeah, I can speak Spanish. Okay. And I can also speak, I would say, a little bit of someone. Okay. And I can speak a little bit of Hawaiian. Are you fluent? went in Spanish? Yes. Work. When I speak Spanish, it's so funny because I have the strongest Italian accent.

So literally when I talk to other Latinos, they're like, you sound like Mario. But I can't help it. That's like I learned Italian first. I mean, I'm also part Mexican, but like I learned Italian first. And then I don't, I, they're so similar. Those languages are literally so, it's true. You take a good, but I'm like, it's like, I don't. I don't. how to change it. Every Renaissance woman I've ever met can speak multiple languages very well. And that pisses me off, by the way. I think it's because I'm jealous.

Okay, work. No, I wish I was more, I grew up in Southern California, but I grew up in Santa Ana. And so, like, literally every single child was Mexican except me. So, like, I grew up, I almost hearing that more than someone. I heard Spanish way, way, way more. and Mexican Spanish specifically. Yeah. And I took Spanish all throughout high school.

I took it in college. Actually, in college I took Samwin too. So that one I can. I can speak more Spanish than I can speak someone. That's just the truth about me. Okay. This one says, you once got food poisoning from an octopus in Spain. Yeah.

I was dated this guy named Kike, Ola Kiki. And he's from Venezuela, but he lives in Spain now. And I don't even know why I was trying to impress him. I already, he was already my boyfriend. But he, like, had all this different kinds. of seafood and like fish and I was just eating pretty much everything and then the next day I'm I'm not kidding you I've never had a skin reaction like this it wasn't just like a rash purple blisters and we had to go to the emergency room and get steroid shots to take it down and like overnight

it just popped up yes and it was so painful and it stayed I was on two weeks of 60 milligrams of prednisone a day to keep it from like blistering and it was from some reaction from one of the fucking things I ate. So now I eat nothing from the ocean. I don't care what it is. I don't care how good it is. I don't care how you're trying to give in-strike now. The answer is no.

I'll have chicken. No, the answer is no. Oh my God. If I got something like that too, I'd be on that kind of tip too. That is so scary. It was horrifying.

That sounds like a movie. Yeah. Oh my God. Awful. Well, not a fun fact. Oh, it was so fun. Just a terrible fact. Okay, last one.

It says when you were living in Chicago, you got a job with a cabaret group and sang Barbara Streisand or Mariah Carey at strip clubs while the dancers were changing. That is true. I wouldn't call it a job as so much as it was a really awful hobby. But yes, every weekend we would go

and we would say this child's community theater program to raise money for that would put on shows. And the only place we could perform these shows, the kids weren't coming. It was adults. We would put on a cabaret show, but it was all at

gay strip clubs. And I remember they needed singers so like when everyone's changing the dancers were changing they would have me up there and said pick any songs you want so just imagine just going to a strip club there's already six people in the audience

it's cabaret yeah someone's like dick is out everyone's getting horny and then I'm up like until forever like imagine the hate but it was fun I mean I just think the thought of cabaret and strippers

In a gay club It just kind of made sense Did it? I was happy to do it Well That's why when I started going to open mics I was like, Child's play

You guys You don't know what hard looks like You guys go to hydrate Where the sign in the bathroom says no meth Please While you're listening to Cabaret You're reading that while you're listening to Cabaret I talk about my first experience in a strip club

My first and last experience in a strip club nothing short of horrifying. I talk about it being like a haunted house, like just around every corner. Oh! Like, around every corner. Just horrifying and terrible. And I got a lap dance on a stage to the song,

Work from Home by Fifth Harmony. Work. You familiar? Yes. Yes, of course. You think I turned gay yesterday? Right. But I never know how to react.

Like, when the lap dance is happening, I'm always like, so, go to college? Yeah, like, yeah. It was pretty awful. And there was a lot of talking, like, as he's, like, grinding. on me. He was like asking me questions to get to know me, which was unsettling. And for multiple reasons, I'm sure. And he was dressed as a construction worker. But also like for them, it's the

same as like them being in the office. So for you, it's this new experience. But for them, it's like working the 4 p.m. shift at Staples. Right. They're used to it. Just another day. Yes. It's like, yes. So what do you do? You're like, oh, my, I, I, you know, like. I know, it was really, it was a really horrifying experience and then at the end of the big finale of it was like he picked me up like but upside down work shook me like he was shaking the change on my pockets stripper go go go boy exotic dancer I love that I'm not even saying it sarcastically I think the world of these people I just think they're like these beautiful people dancing yeah yeah confidence yeah honestly they're better than me and when we left I was like I remember he um went and gave my mom his number to give to me

because he was like, he asked me if I was single and I was like, yes. After we did that, it feels like, I can't even look at you, bro. Years ago,

I went to Magic Mike. Me, Nicole Byron and she was in May I went to Vegas because Nicole, and her exact quote is, I want to get fucked on stage. So we start with the best. We go to Magic Mike.

We get the front row, you know, the whole thing and the whole show. I want to get fucked. I want to get fucked. I want to get fucked. I want to get fucked. So what happens?

Not only does she not get picked. So Shear was brought out. on stage to the piano number where they lifted her above the entire stage on a piano while everyone danced around her. I have a video of Nicole crying into her goblet vodka soda. Then one of the strippers came up to me and had me his number and him and I had sex that night. So honestly was an awesome fucking night for me. Well, then Nicole was like, we're going. Someone did get fucked.

Yes. Yes. Yes. And so then she also got to a fight with a woman at the share concert. But we, we, this, the usher was a bitch to me and Nicole. So anyway, then we went to Thunder Down Under, which really was a downgrade. I mean... I've heard that.

I've heard that Magic Mike is better. Magic Mike's a great show. Thunder Down Under felt a little bit like a quinceaniera was going to happen right after. Like, it was like set up like tables. Like if everyone can please move their own chair to the table? Yeah, that was the feeling. You ever been to like a family party like a quinceaniera something where it's like that's like kind of that plastic on the... You've been to a wedding like that or you do that and then they have you move your chair into the tent?

Yes. Yes. And then that happened and they almost ripped off so she was wig at the time. And then Nicole ended up on stage and she did, they did an orgasm contest. Obviously Nicole won. And then they say, what would you like to sign? She goes, can I get fucked? And instead she took a picture with the cast.

That was what they did. And then I got another number and got, it had to come another guy that night. You're also, I was really up that weekend. I don't know about her, but I had an awesome weekend. It just was a ridiculous weekend. I guess Nicole, we should. go back to Vegas and get you. Yeah, you got to go relive.

Reclaim, reclaim the space. You know what I mean? I love the Gold buyer. Me too. Well, I have had a hoot and a holler talking to you. This was honestly such a treat. I cannot thank you enough for having me on this show. Oh my God.

Thank you for coming on. I'm so happy we got to do this. Likewise, and I can't wait to hopefully keep doing more things together. Yes. But before we sign off for today, like I would love to know if you have any advice for any aspiring comics or maybe people who have been in it and maybe haven't seen the success yet or what they would measure as success. Like do you have any words of wisdom for them? Well, I think the most important thing is you should love your jokes and love the friends that are in your life. I think those

two things just keep you on forever. And you know, it's always changing. Like the game's always changing, but the thing that doesn't change is work ethic. So get up as much as you possibly can. I think people are always looking for the answer. When I'm on stage, what do I do? It's like, well, that's, that's what stand up is. There's no class for it. You just have to sign up and go and just go. And don't, have the mentality that everybody is against you. When you go into an open mic, comics are going to try and sniff you out. Once you show up three, four times, you can start to weed out the people that don't matter and find some of your best friends. So I would say just focus on those things. And, you know, success shows up in so many different ways. So don't, the goal shouldn't be, I need money. I need this. It should be. You want to be on stage. The goal is to be on stage as much as possible. Because it doesn't change. And hone your craft. too. It helps you get better, like you said. And I think I do want to say too, I think it's really amazing what a wonderful supportive friend you've been to, because you're friends with so many other comics, drag queens, or both, or lots of, lots of people who are famous and successful.

And I think that's really beautiful that you have so many friends because that's something I think that can be rare in this industry is like finding genuine connection and friendship with people who are not, you could see as competitors, but they're not. Like everyone has something like you said very unique and amazing to add to the space. And I think when you have that abundance mindset like that, like that's kind of how I move to. And you make friends and you're happy for your friends when they see success and joy and they do all these wonderful things. And then when it happens for you, they're just as happy and supportive of you. I think that's really beautiful. And I think that's very obvious about you, which I want to

commend you on. I think that's beautiful. Yeah, we all went through the trenches together. So it's fun that we're all like, we're like, getting to live in the fun part together. Yeah, it's great. You all made it to the other side. Yes. Oh, that was very nice. Thank you. Yeah, of course.

I think that's really amazing. And obviously, I think you're fucking hilarious. Oh, well, thank you. And that is obvious, obviously. But thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for having me. I fucking love you. I think you're amazing and so fun.

And everyone who maybe hasn't followed Mateo because maybe you were born yesterday, where can everybody find you? You can go to Mateo Lane comedy.com or just Mateo Lane with two T's on Instagram. or TikTok. Yes. And Mateo is hilarious and you'll see for yourself if you haven't already. And thank you so much for our amazing guests for joining us this week. Thank you all for so much for tuning in. Don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms with the video list for free and exclusively on our favorite platform YouTube. Thank you so much again. Thank you so much for my amazing guest,

Mateo Lane. And I'll see you next week. Bye.