The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - SHAKING ASS IS ANCESTRAL Ft. Kehlani

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

The icon herself, the one and only Kehlani, joins Drew on The Comment Section this week!! They talk about why women & femmes are allowed to shake ass wherever they want, being iPad babies, Virgo behavior, why Kehlani hates karaoke, cheater costumes, elevating black and brown queer artists across the music industry, and so much more.  Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Kehlani: IG / TikTok For sponsorships/partnerships, email [e-mail]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When men try to police, like, shaking ass, I'm like, you don't want to see that? I also feel like they be shaking ass. No, no, no, let's get into it. No, because I know y'all be at the house looking over your shoulder, seeing if you could do it. You know why? Because you're competitive. You want to compete with us every chance you get. So at what point did you draw the line at shaking ass?

Because that's a sport. Everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your fave. Who cares about me? Nobody cares about me anymore. the guest. Today we have the iconic, the legendary, the highly requested Ms. Kalani. Woo! Hi. Hey.

Welcome to the show, Queen. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to have you. It's an honor. Privilege, if you will. I'm stoked. I'm not lying one of my most requested guests easily. It makes sense.

Yeah, I think so. I see this for us. We sense our energy. Yeah. We go way back, you and I. I don't even know. On the interwebs. Yeah, on the internet.

But it's our first time meeting in person. Is it? No, we met at Beyonce. That's right. We did. Yeah. Well, you've got. left and went to the more important section and I sat I actually ran away I got overwhelmed at that

it was a lot in there huh was that the only Beyonce show you went to no I stayed for the whole thing in new york and so at the LA one it was like it was real famous it was I got a little nervous and everyone got nervous famous environment so I just snuck out as if you're not one of them you know what's crazy is I filmed a TikTok like with a bunch of different uh of my friends that were in that same box and in the background like the last last like two seconds you can see your back. I'm scurry. Like the back of your head, like you're leaving.

I think you're actually like leaving. My scurry, my anxious scurry. And all the comments are like, is that Kaylani in the back? Was that her? Ducking and dodging. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. You know the back of your head, girl.

I love that. I went and looked and I was like, that is her. Yeah, you're right. That was her. Hey, everyone. From me and the back of my head. We did talk for two seconds there. Yeah.

And then you left. I get nervous, man. I'm like, wow. I think she's so funny. I think she's so cute. I have to leave. Bye. Yeah, adios.

Well, I'm happy to have you. It's a very exciting time for you right now, new music on the horizon. It is. Are you excited? Yeah, I'm nervous excited, but I'm really excited. What are you nervous about? It's been a minute. And when it's something that's so important to me, because this album is so important to me.

Yeah. I'm just, I hope it's received in the way that I intended to be. And I think the things you care about the most make you nervous. Yeah, that's true, because you put a lot of love. Karen to it, I assume. Yeah. Well, your first single After Hours, huge fan. Everybody on TikTok's a huge, huge fan.

Thank you. What was it like releasing that song? How did you come to the conclusion you wanted to put that one out first? Um, I think we wanted to try the formula of drop into Bangor for the first time, because I have a tendency to like pick my favorite, like, artsy jam first or like the sweet one, the slow one. And I was like, you know what? I want to know that feeling.

I want to experience what. feels like to like be outside and see people dance to like a song I put out and I just never did it that way before. Yeah. The reaction I think was more overwhelmingly positive from what I saw. Yeah, but he loved it. I'm pleasantly surprised. So that's cool. It's cool to me. I'm stoked. And it's a real song of the summer. I think so. Shaking ass summer. Yeah. A ass shakerie summer for sure. Okay. So obviously you and I connected on TikTok. I'm curious like how you got on TikTok. made you want to download it because obviously you were already Keelani when you but when you got on TikTok. I'm curious what made you want to download it. I was a notoriously late TikTok bloomer.

Yeah. Like I really was like I had like a little secret account that didn't have my name on it that I was just like looking up like recipes and like like I thought that's what it was for. I didn't really like understand. I hadn't seen like the wave of people who were able to like showcase themselves on TikTok. I thought it was literally like a search engine, like a learning site type shit. So I was on there like, damn, okay, I'm watching people like put their vans together and like do whipped coffees and shit like that. I was like, okay. And looking up how to cook falafel. Literally.

On TikTok. No, for real. That was it. Or like those random like dumb life hacks that you feel so slow after it because you're like, damn, I should have known. Like how you properly open a bag of chips and shit like that, you know? And then I guess my label had a TikTok in my name already. that was just like posting musical updates and shit like that. And everybody was like, man, you used to be on Vine.

Like, you used to be like at least like you have a personality that be on there. Yeah, and I just started doing that. And then I wiped my TikTok after a while of being like, wow, I have like social media anxiety. And then I started over and here we are. It's an addiction. I truly believe I've become an iPad baby, unfortunately. I think we're all iPad babies. And then we blame it on the babies.

I'm significantly worse than my child on this grade. For sure. I was going to ask if your baby's an iPad baby. No, she learns on there. And, like, it's really helpful. And I think it's really funny that we, like, will deny that it's helpful to, like, have an occupied baby when you're such a hard worker. Yeah, especially.

Because my baby wouldn't be a part of everything I do. Like, she's like, you're in a studio. I want to come in a booth. You're here. I want to come here. Like, I want to actively get on this stage with you and do it. So I'm like, you might have to sit here and play. your learning game while I do this

if I want to actually get this done. Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's helpful. But you said you're more of an iPad baby. I'm the iPad baby for sure. She's like, Mom, Mom, I'm like, my bad, I was, I had to drop the single. Sorry, sorry, Mom, he's working. I'm so excited for your new album.

What can you tell us about it? Like, as far as, I don't know spoilers, but like, what can people expect from the new album? I think, like, everybody I've played it for has said that it, was not what they expected in a pleasant kind of way. Yeah. And that my favorite compliment I've gotten so far is that one of my producers

said it sounded like all my other albums or always felt like all my albums were made for me, but this album felt like it was made for the listener. That's nice. Yeah, I just went out of my way to make something that feels really good, that you can play all the way through that has like this like exhilarating kind of like energy to it. It's super present. It's super like big. None of it's like you want to put it on.

headphones in the back of the car and stare out the window. What you know, I know that some people jam. You said, I do have music like that though. Right. Go listen to all the last six projects if you know you want to stare out the window in the back of the car. But you're real good at that. I think I also have this side of my personality that people see, you know, full of life

and fun and like outside and like, you know, high energy or like in their relationships or like speaking my mind. And I think that it's, it was time for people to also be able to experience that side. Yeah, you said people, people heard how sad me. You love me. But now it's like fun me or whatever. Yeah. I also too want to mention I did go see you in concert like not last year but the year before at the YouTube theater.

And you were incredible bitch. If you haven't seen Kaylani live, but you dance and sing live and you look good. Thank you. That's unfair. It's a tough job. I find that I find that insulting to me personally as someone who can't do two of those three things. I bet you could if you tried. You know, I would see you laugh on a microphone.

Yeah. On stage. I would pay. I will pay. Oh, yeah, me going, I'll go and annoy people for it. I do it already for a living. Well, I'll do it live. You know what? Make them pay. Make them pay. That's reparations for me. Exactly. Yeah. But I also want to say, too, when I went to your concert, I took my sister and my boyfriend. And that was the first, like, my sister who's a lesbian. I always talk about my lesbian sister. Team lesbian. Yeah, a lesbian sister on the pub. I got a lesbian producer, a lesbian assistant, surrounded by gays. Lesbians. Woo! When I first started this show, like one of the first comments I got was like, this is just drew in all the most famous gays and lesbians.

Yeah. Thank you. Somebody's got to do it for us. Yeah, I was like, yeah, it's my show. So I put people that I like on the show. And my sister had said that was the first, like, concert she had gone to, like, queer space that had almost all black and brown queer or lesbian people.

And I was like, and she said, I've never felt more like safe and comfortable at a concert. It's so fun. It's a time. The environment you cultivate is beautiful. Thank you. I have to tell you that. Thank you. I knew it was wraps when, like, the first show we did, it was, like, this group of

studs, and I was, like, staring at them and I was like, yeah, I'm so stoked y'all here. And the girl was like, do it. And the girl just pulled her tities out. And I was like, yes, we got stud tities. Like, name another show where the stud tities come out. You can't. And then when I got on TikTok and I was like, am I king of the gays? And they were like, what about Lady Gaga?

and I was like, you see stunt tities at Lady Gaga? I doubt it. Because there's like, there's like gay boy stuff. And then there's like gay girl shit. And that's what we have our shit. And it's like our shit. Absolutely. I'm proud to be a part of it.

Absolutely. And when you sing everybody's business, right? When you see it, when you sing it real slow and sensual at your concert. Yeah. I've never seen anything like that. Thank you. I've never seen anything like it. Every TikTok, I was like, like, like, like, like.

Well, thank you. That seemed to be. everybody's favorite song. They were like, I hope she picks me. I hope she picks me. Oh, well, yeah. I mean, that song was an accident. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Really? It started as a completely on stage performance. And then I had these stairs and then I got tired of walking up and down a little stairs. And I was like, and actually there was a show where the stairs couldn't come on the stage because the way the stage was set up. And they were like, you don't have the stairs tonight. And I'm like, damn, I'm supposed to stand there for Hate the Club.

Like, I can't do it. So I walk. And I just went down and I was like, man, if somebody push me or somebody don't want me in their face and it's going to be real awkward, but I'm going to have to get stuck right here and I'm just going to have to sing it. And it happened naturally and then I just kept doing it. It was never planned. I cannot believe that you thought someone would be like, Keelani, get out of my face. You just never know how people anxiety is going to react when you're this close. Yeah, that's a really good point. I've seen it.

I've done it. Really. Oh my God. I sang to this girl and her girlfriend was right next to her. and she was like, don't, she was like, don't, because she's going to tweak out on me. And I was stuck right there. By that time, the verse already started.

I can't move. I have to sing it to you. So I'm like, sing it to her. I'm like, I am so sorry. Then I just start singing to her girlfriend. There you go. Just all inclusive package at this point. I don't piss nobody off.

A thruple. A love for everyone. Exactly. I think that was the, the coolest thing to see all the different TikToks of people from different angles of you doing at every single show. and you were telling me it wasn't even planned.

Love that. Thank you for something that stuck naturally. So when it comes to, I know you said you wiped your social media and now you're back and now you're kind of like, you know, easing back in Slalipa Shirley. How has your journey on social media been? It used to be hell. It used to be hell on earth. But that's also because like I think I think at the time that I came out like musically,

I always have to differentiate. People are like, gay. At the time that I came out on the internet was like this really pivotal time of like people only really having YouTube. Yeah. And then like Vine. Yeah.

And then like music on Vine was kind of like, Ew bitch, what are you doing? Like just be funny and go. And I was one of the last artists to like crack off on SoundCloud. So we were trying to navigate this like pre-streaming, but like self-promoting. But like we can still pass out our mixtapes in person because people still care about physical stuff.

And like getting in. into that hump of like having to promote yourself as a person for the for so people to for people to understand that to want to support the music yeah we didn't really have the tools because we didn't really have any examples so like artists of my class were trying to figure out like how do we protect ourselves versus how do we let people get to know us enough how do we let people know we have a story what do we say for interviews versus what do we say for like things we deliver to our fans ourselves and like it was just a lot of trial and error for me and also also a lot of like, I didn't have anybody older than me to ask about like, what do you do

about comments and what do you do about people who have negative things to say? Because the artist I looked up to didn't have social media. Like they just, what are they going to look at YouTube comments? They're going to get on Facebook? Like, you know, I don't know. Like, it wasn't this like close, like you could open your phone and see what people have to say so much. Yeah.

Like that instant like review. It's right there. It's right there. So, yeah, it was just a big learning lesson. and now I'm just learning how to navigate it in a way where I protect my peace the most. Yeah, totally. And also that I had to really learn to find shit funny.

I did. I just had to be like, honestly, this shit is kind of funny. I got to laugh with y'all. Yeah, because the internet is so fickle and also so awful. Like, it can be the best thing ever or the worst thing to ever happen to. For no reason. No in between. I see, like, girls get up and just, like, all they do is wake up and get out of bed.

and like make a little lip sync video and then they're viral and it's like a million comments of people being treacherous and I'm like where do we draw the line? I have no clue. It's truly so blurred now especially. It's like it's almost popular to hate like to be. It's so ugly.

Yeah, it's one of those. I feel like that's another reason why my platform was so weird in the beginning because mine is like one of the few built off the shoulders of hate like directed at me personally. You flipped it though. You flipped that. on his head it is so admirable yeah yeah that that having to deal with that that's why sometimes

people ask me like how do I deal with hate comments and I'm like well I'm never letting a bitch uglier than me tell me I'm ugly so that's pretty easy you know what I'm especially a man please are you kidding but I feel like someone like you who is so like authentically themselves I feel like that's another reason why a lot of people gravitate towards you on social specifically because you I feel like you obviously you promote your music and obviously everybody knows you're an artist but seeing the other side of you is the part I think that people really love because people are nosy. As hell, girl. They're nosy.

They're all of your business. But I think people can sense your energy even through social. That's probably why it's like all with love a lot of times. But it's mostly love, but that hate that sneaks past security. It'd be old shit, I'm realizing. It'd be like old shit and it be dudes. Which is like your whole jam, so I'm glad we're here. It'd be that.

And it'd be like people who hold me to some unrealistic standard of like some timeline of my career that I'm unaware of. Like, oh, well, you're not going to be able to do this or compete with this or like you're supposed to be here right now. I'm like, how you know I'm not chilling? How do you know that I don't love exactly where I'm at? And I'm having a good old fucking time. Okay. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's very invisible parameters. You're like, how do you know that I don't?

Right. Oh, at this point, everyone's me. Everyone is me Yeah, and your bestie and your friends We're just all here together I was gonna ask about men in your comments Because obviously you're a very very gorgeous beautiful lady Thank you

But you're also a very very proud and open lesbian Yes So I'm sure men are big creepy weirdos Yeah and I think that they really have no Like concept of like The timeline of sexuality Yeah Like I don't think it's just not

Like their brain breaks at the idea that I have a child and that I have had a boyfriends in my lifetime. Yeah, their brain their brain just gets... Sorry, the window closed. You missed it. They get rattled and they're like

watching them do math in the comments like, but she got a kid and she was with so and so and I'm like, and now I'm a lesbian. If anything, that's the most convicted lesbian. You're all... Yeah, no, I've had it. Yeah, no, I made my choice.

Yeah, and I had to damn near apologize. I saw the men like, damn. I shouldn't even have did that like that. I don't know what I was doing there. Sorry. I was talking to one of our friends, my friends the other day, and she was telling me, because she's a lesbian too, and she was, like, after she had her first lesbian heartbreak, which is devastating and awful and earth shattering. Oh, yeah. You're dying.

Yeah, for sure. It's like a whole other level of, like, heartbreak. And she was telling me about it. And then she was saying, so then I was like, okay, maybe I'll try dating men. So she said she went out on a date with a man, and then they went home. So they were, like, trying, she was trying to make out of them. And she said in the middle of it, she goes, I literally can't do this. I'm a lesbian.

Like she stopped and she goes I'm gonna need you and go home And he went home Yeah I mean look at him Bravo to that man Yes So Cazel and went home Yeah that's what you gotta do

I was dying when she was like I in the middle of it I was like I can't do this I'm I am so gay I can't do this Yeah I had so many moments of that And then I was like Okay but like this doesn't feel

All the way off or like this Like I'm not totally repulsed I just have had moments where I'm like You like making peace with it active I know what I would rather be doing right now And I just didn't take the time to like center myself enough and be alone for long enough to like honor that and recognize that. I was like involved with a guy at the time that I realized I was gay. And I was like, love you as a friend.

Brother. Yeah. My brother, my friend. My bestie. Because I don't know, but it don't work. It's not working. And then a girl would look at me and I would just fall out on the floor. You're like, yeah, I'm like.

When women look at you, you know. you're like, I think I like men. Well, yeah. I would be with boys and I would just be like, you compliment me and I'd be like, thanks. And a girl would be like, you're so pretty. And I'm like, oh my God. I call me everybody like, y'all.

I fell in love. This girl at the elevator told me I was pretty and I've been thinking about her for three days. And a man tells you, you're like, what? Yeah, I was like, okay, thanks. Everybody think that. Bye. I know.

when men come when you're like yeah i know right go stand in line behind all the girls yeah i know i was gonna ask you um since obviously when you when you did come out you were already canelani and i was i'm curious like what you don't obviously don't have to share anything you don't want to but like how was that process for you when it comes to like your fan base when it comes to your music it was on accident again the thing is i had i had for real no i'm the accident it's because i'm not like i'm not like quick enough like some people like that especially that are like my peers i i'm so jealous of the way they move around because it's so like there's so much thought and there's so much like they put so much in place for like

nothing to ever happen and me i'm always like damn i probably should have did that like should just be happening and we just go with the flow kind of queen yeah so i hadn't been on instagram live in a really long time i was in like a spiritual process that you know it required me to be very inward and like away from social media a lot and like just aimlessly going on live and I actually hadn't been on live in like six, seven months and one of my best friends was on live in my house and I was walking in the background because I was cooking and they saw me in the background. They was like, oh my God, we miss you. Like what's going on? You're in the back? Get on live and I popped there real quick and I was like, well I finally know I'm a lesbian.

And I, like, why did I? It was like 20 people in the live, bro. It was like 20 people. And I should have known. Clipped. They got you. Yeah. They cut that shit down. The next day I'm on like, I'm getting calls from my manager. Like, gay magazine said they have this clip of you, da-da-da-da-da, and them magazine and blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, okay, I was serious, but also like, that was a joke. But I was serious. You know, like, that wasn't my, like, big coming out statement. No. And I was like, you know, I just got to rock with it at this point. Look, I just have to, like, I guess that's my coming out. Like I had already been single and lesbian for months by then and just like really like my friends knew. And yeah, my whole family was like, girl, okay?

You've been dating girls your whole life. My friends were like, bitch, duh. Like we see how down bad you be over girls and how not down bad at all you be over guys. Yeah, did you move on real quick when you would break up with men? They just didn't even exist to me. It would just, I'd be like, wow. Sometimes I look back and I'm like, that was a fever. dream.

Like I, I, I, I'll see them in the world and I'm like, that did happen, didn't it? Yeah. That was my bad dude. We were, we were boyfriends. So. I'm curious, how was your, what was your fan base reaction? Was it, I'm assuming it was positive, but I'm curious. It's like what we have to recognize as my core fan base versus like the people who enjoy my

music and like me for potentially other reasons. Mm-hmm. I'm personally super grateful that when you zoom out, I technically cut my fan base in half based on the girls who listen to me to sing along about guys and the guys who listened to me or were banking there listening to me on attraction. And I'm grateful that I ended up actually just created a stronger bond

with the people who listened to me just because they love me for who I am. Totally. And gained a lot of people who resonate with me because they felt like they didn't have as much representation as they should. Absolutely. And I was pleasantly surprised that, like, the numbers were still strong and the tour was still strong and things like that because I was nervous. I'm like, man, like, what about all the boys that come to my shows

because they, like, want to engage with, like, a female artist that's singing to them or, like, what about all the girls that are coming and want to hear all the, like, I changed all the lyrics live so that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable singing them. So when you come to the show and you hear the songs about boys, I change all the pronouns to she. Period. And anything that says the D word gets changed too. So, you know, like, but people still came.

And I was, I was grateful. And the men that come for the wrong reasons, like, they don't even be coming no more. No, of course they know. Good, good riddons, me outside being like, don't you dare. Don't you dare. Come in here. Don't you dare. We just ready to swing on any.

Boyfriends come, though. Yeah, my boyfriend came. And he loved, because he loves your music. I'm glad he had a good time because the boyfriend's being there capping. they really do they be enjoying themselves and then they like I like look at them and I always point them out and I'm like you look like you hate it here and I'm on stage like you hate it here and the girlfriend's like oh my god he loves it he's having such a good time like and I'm like it's okay it's all good this is this is indeed for the girls yeah for the I am

for the girls literally that's it period literally at the end of that sentence even when I when I went to your concert my boyfriend was like I know I don't ask to go to things but I really want to go to that. And I was like, okay, because sometimes I only get like, that's why we love him. Yeah. I mean, we love him for a lot of reasons, but we love him. Yeah. I collectively, I'm speaking for the collective. We love him. Yeah. I know. Footsteps is one of his favorite songs of yours. Oh my God. Taste. We both love music soul child. You got taste. Girl, we both grew up on music Soul Child. I was like, and guess what? I put him on to that song. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Like genuinely, I'm so happy that your audience has been so receptive because the, especially in music, we, it's true.

they do need more representation. Like queer lesbian artists that are black and brown are important to the space. And I feel like is that something that is really, like, does it feel like a really heavy responsibility or does it feel because you're one of the few? Yeah. Or does it feel kind of like both like an honor and also a little bit heavy? I'm curious. It doesn't feel heavy.

It feels like there's a responsibility to consistently shed light on the many that do exist because it's not that they don't exist. It's just that there's few that get to like break. the mold, especially for black and brown queer people and especially lesbians that don't look digestible to the opposite sex, like mask people. All we have was Sid for a while. You know what I mean? There's a lot more coming up, but for a while it was only Sid and it was like, that's

because it was digestible by way of like odd future. And then like we had this whole queer wave and it was like, all right, like people are not being ignorant to that. Like now Sid is like a freaking like gay. a pop star, in my opinion, said it is a fucking star. Yeah. And then we have like Cody Shane

and we have like Amorei. Like we have a lot of black lesbians that are coming up. Black queer people. I don't, I don't, I can't speak on if Doji is a lesbian or bisexual. I don't really know. But just seeing so many like open,

like gay, like women loving women. Like it's the shit to me. So again, my responsibility level is just like, I have to make sure every chance I get I say people's names, every chance I get. If somebody's like, who's your favorite artist? Who do you want to open up for you? Who do you want to exist in this space with?

Who can you bring on? That I just pass that torch in that way. Or just uplift where I can. I think we all have a responsibility, whether it's like culturally or to just whatever community we're tied to. I think we have that responsibility. Absolutely. And speaking of your concerts too, like I knew that you would be very intentional with picking

like who opens for you. Yeah. Especially elevating artists, new artists or up-and-coming artists or artists that are not typically seen in the space, like you were saying, like ones that are not femme presenting or, like, they don't fit within a mold, like, that men are attracted to them. Yeah. It's a lot harder for them to get into the more mainstream side. Yeah.

So I'm assuming you're very intentional when you, like you said, when you choose who opens for you, right? Yeah. Last tour I had Destin, who was my little baby love, and that's a gay pop star. He is the gayest gay boy down, like, gets online every day and says, good morning, girls and gays like love y'all like and on stage sings to boys makes beautiful music about boys like and has a very strong male fan base like okay period they love him down like straight male fan base and it's like just proving like if the music is good you don't have to keep

gendering it and you don't also have to keep making it a sexuality thing like totally you can just like the music it's fantastic he's fantastic i know um rico nasty i'm a super fan of i just think she's like she is one of the first people I ever saw genre bend in that way. Totally. One of the first people I saw break also like a racial mold of like what we placed for only like white girls. Like alternative like punky like white people and Rico nasty broke all of that. She was one of the first people I see be really alternative and punky and spunky and fucking cool and like badass and loud. And like I'm a fan.

I know love her. She was on the show too. She was so fun. I'm a fan. She's so cool. I was dressed like, I was, I think I was just like real coquette. Like I was like trying something new. And she came in a mullet, like a like a crazy spiky mullet and like these giant pants and giant shoes.

And I was like. Because it don't matter. I know. She's the coolest bitch alive. She's her. Right. Yeah. She's the coolest bitch alive.

She also loves top golf. Did you know that about her? No. She's real weird about top golf. I don't put nothing. She's a tourist. I don't put nothing past us. We got interest, random interest.

I made a joke about top golf. Yeah. I've made a joke about Top golf. and she was like not too much on top golf i love that place i was like rio what the fuck are you doing not a dog golf i hate i hate golf i hate golf me too yeah it's boring won't won't can't can't get into it guys just boring like hiking i'm kind of like i do like hiking but only okay not too much on hiking be a torus yeah what the outside do to you but you're you're a tourist yeah yeah exactly that's why you're earth queen exactly i'm an earth sign too so technically i should like it but are you a pergo are you a burgo

That's why I'm so mean. But that's why you could sting people like that. That's why you drag in them. Virgos are certified draggers. Yeah. Yeah, and I never forget literally anything. Yeah, I'd never want smoke with you guys. Ever.

At peace. I know some people tell me when they're like, when I found out you were Virgo, I was like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. As soon as I said Capricorn, I was like, wait. Yeah, they're not as funny as Virgo's. Y'all are funny.

That's real. That's real. And mean. And that's okay. Oh, you know, you said it. That's why all my friends are gay.

Because gay people are also mean. And that's why they like me. Not you. Okay. Yeah, that's because you're a little baby Torres. Yeah. I love tourist women.

Torres women, they ride with me. Yeah. I feel like they're a lot chiller than me. We're easy, I think. Yeah, super. You know,

unless you're trying to tell us her wrong, then, you know, other than that. Other than that, other than that, other than that, other than that, other than that,

other than that, I was talking to my friend on the phone yesterday, And I was telling her, yeah, I told her to do this. And she didn't listen to me. And then it came true. And I was like, I told you. And then she was like, I would listen to you even if you had no logic at all simply

because you're a Virgo. And I was like, period. And I'm never wrong. I be listening to y'all. Yeah. They know. Yeah. They just know.

I don't want to get yelled at, but I'd be listening to y'all. I know. I feel like Virgos are one of those where I'm like, I don't want to say I told you so. Yes, y'all do. I do, yeah. Yeah. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. I'm going to because I need to because it fuels. It keeps me... Y'all will explode if you don't feel that. Yeah, it adds five years to my life every time I'm proven, right? I'm going to live till I'm a million, bitch. But, okay, we're going to transition into our topic. Okay, so the topic is men on the internet who tried to police women or femme presenting people expressing their sexuality freely.

And Ms. Keelani has done that. You do that and sometimes in your music and sometimes you don't. Like, you're very fluid with it. So it's not something that's like. If I feel like shaking ass, I'm going to shake ass. If I feel like having a big t-shirt on and baggy pants and sitting in my leg, I just do what I want. Yeah.

And I even think the girls who shake ass every single day, they're just doing what they want. There's also not a method to that madness. We're all just doing what we want. Yeah, isn't that the whole point? Right. I also think, too, when men try to police, like, shaking ass, I'm like, you don't want to see that? I also feel like they be shaking ass. No, no, no, let's get into it.

No, because I know y'all be at the house looking over your shoulder. Seeing if you could do it. You know why? Because you're competitive. You want to compete with us every chance you get. So at what point did you draw the line at shaking ass? Because that's a sport and a skill. Right.

They want to see if there's movement. I know y'all be, stop it. And y'all be naturally thicker than us sometimes. Like, you know how, like, God be giving, like, lashes? Lashes, yeah. You always see little boys with, like, long lashes. You're like, damn, y'all be having ass. They're kicked up.

That's what I'm saying. I know you be shaking it. you walking it bounced by itself that count too. Shake what God gave you. Wiggle and you walk. Yeah, exactly. A wagon. We all want to. It's okay. That's what I'm like, you don't want to see it. That's fine. Shut your fucking mouth. I want to see it.

That's what I'm like, stop. Maybe it wasn't for y'all. Yeah. Close your eyes, okay? You're going to ruin it for the rest of us who will enjoy watching it. Yeah, thank you. And I'm sure it expands way past shaking as to. It's just like when women just exist freely, they really don't like that. Oh, yeah, you can't be cute.

You can't even be not cute. You just can't be. You just can't be. Yeah, they get very angry at that. Yeah. Anytime you do literally anything. I'm at the laughable point, luckily, where, like, I read it and I'm like, this is hilarious. Like, I just imagine them like, me, blah, man.

Type of hell is stupid on the fucking computer and, like, really saying and being like, I showed that bitch. I fucking told her, like, yeah, you, you sure did. You got me. You really did. You got me. I'm never doing it again. I can't shake ass anymore. someone on the internet tell me it's bad. I can't do it anymore, guys. A man with no job told me he didn't

like it. Okay, so this first video is the woman in this is analyzing responses to Sabrina Carpenter's music video feather, which she filmed partially in a Catholic church. After controversy online from people who weren't happy with her wearing a short dress while filming around an altar, Sabrina responded, we got approval in advance and Jesus was a carpenter and traditional conservative people in the comments were not happy. That's so funny. I'm a stand of Jesus was a carpenter. Yeah, yeah. That's great.

I love a witty backfire. Honestly, I have no comment on like the whole religious aspect of it because I think people was probably shaking ass in every century. Oh, girl. In every religion, in every shape. I don't know if you've seen people cast a holy ghost, but sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes you can't help it.

At the altar call? They just look bouncing up and down. Sometimes it's just. It still counts. It still does. It's shaking asses ancestral, so I've nothing to say about that. This next video, it says in this quote advice video for men, a man is warning guys that if they're dating a woman, when she exposes her body, she wants more attention. That's a quote.

He says, if you're a man and you allow your woman to dress provocatively on social media and public. Allow? You're basically allowing her to cheat on you. Okay. Handler. I know. I'm like, okay, dog owner. I find that so,

I feel like that speaks to men's lack of control if they're like, don't have your tits out around me. Otherwise, I don't know what I'm going to do. You're weirdo. I just love that I feel so far removed from this conversation. Like, a bitch would never.

A bad bitch would simply not ever. She would put her tiny skirt on right next to me and we would go tiny skirted up and be cute girls together. I just love that this is not my life. Girl, I know. Lucky you. And for the girls that it is, leave him alone. For real. Because I will say this, while I do think that it's, we need to generalize that so that men can put that into their bodies so that they can change and the mankind can

heal. They can begin to heal. I have experienced some very supportive men who will not act that way towards you. And I think that that's the tip of the iceberg of you don't know what type of crazy shit is going to come next from a man if he's acting like that about your clothing. Yeah, exactly. All shit, all seriousness, like jokes aside, like the levels of potential crazy shit that can be under there, just like immediately, if you, if you are, if the words allowed, you're being allowed to dress? Because first of all, what the hell does dressing have to do with cheating?

Like, I don't give a fuck if I go outside naked. What do that got to do? With cheating. What does it have to do? Next girl, leave him. Yeah, immediately. Leave him now. Immediately.

Yeah, sometimes when women ask me, like, how do I know if they're like that? I'm like, you know. They say things that you ignore or you choose to look past because you're like, well, maybe he didn't mean it that way. If the flag is red, baby, the flag is red. For real. There's no changing the color of the flag. It's there.

A flag is a flag. Yeah. And it's also very, like you said, it's like, it's the very tip of the iceberg when it comes to any level of abuse. It starts small with stuff like that. Like, well, I don't like when you wear that or I don't want to allow you to wear it. It's like the verbiage they use is very intentional and specific. And also, every time men say shit like this, like, oh, women dress like that for men's attention,

they are literally not factoring in lesbians, like ever. I'm like, lesbians don't want men to ever look at them ever. If they could, they would exist in a world with only women. So like... That's why I love my shows. Yeah, exactly. It's so fun. I'm like, I don't got to worry about nothing.

thing y'all got going on. Like the girls are here having a time. Okay. Like they just are. And I say girls even gender neutrally because the girls be there too having any time. So I'm just like, I honestly can't, I can't relate. And that's a good thing. But I have at some point. And it has indeed gotten worse from that point. Every single time I have experienced that kind of man. And all I can say to that is like it's not a, that's all there is that's worrisome. It's never. It's never. that's where it begins and ends. Like that is the beginning and there is a long end. And we're in an era of what feels like has been like the rebirth and a really beautiful way of like

women being on top in this like really expansive. Like I do what I want. I wear what I want. I take up space. I be as loud as possible. Like women are dominating every single industry there is for the first time in a really long time and every genre of music like fashion, art, sports. everything. It is women and femme-centered.

Yeah. And you don't have to put up with nothing. The ocean is big as hell. It really is. I promise you. Like, love yourself and respect yourself enough to like be like, I don't have to take even the smallest amount of bullshit. Because I think we wait. I'm saying we like I still do with men. But in general, I think as people, we wait for things to get real bad before we're like, okay, I can't be here anymore. I don't want to, you know, don't just don't wait. Yeah, you're so me.

You're so me, coded. I've told people I'm like, I literally stopped talking to a dude because he made up a word to me once. And I couldn't take it. I was like, oh, oh, you'll never see me again. In the talk, he was like kind of talking down to me in a way. Like, he was trying to explain to me how smart he was.

And I was like, hey, okay, well, I've never met a smart person that felt the need to tell me how smart they were, but sure. And then in the middle of that monologue he was giving me, which I don't remember because I, wasn't listening was he made up a word and I wish to this day I could remember it. Oh, because I would use it all the time. And I was like, oh, yeah, you'll never see me again. And then you want to hear T, fast forward to me doing this for a living one day I was like, I went to this big like event and I can't say where it was. And he was working security at the

event. Period. I saw him and I was like, yeah, I'd have been like, you better be protecting this face. As you should have. When I saw him, I was like, oh, God. Jesus Christ. And then when I introduced him to my boyfriend, I was like, oh, this is my boyfriend. We went to college together. And then that guy was like, oh, yeah, we just went to college together. I was like, you shut up. Ew.

Shut the fucking mouth. Ew. Whoever you were talking to, dude, she's dead. I killed her. So I don't know that bitch. Sorry. She's dead. But yeah, you're right.

You're so right. Like, it's, I've told women before, I'm like, the first sign of something that makes you uncomfortable and makes you don't like, leave. Yeah. Leave or address it immediately. If it doesn't get any better, leave. Because people, I mean, people do put their foot in their mouths, and I do believe in, like, having grace for a lot of things. But there are different pipelines.

Yeah. It's definitely like, this is the pipeline of crazy. This is the pipeline of abuse. This is the pipeline of definitely going to cheat. This is the, like, with everyone, regardless of gender. And I think at some point, you have to, like, have your, like, list of, I know what this means. Yeah. Like, I know what's one of those things this falls on.

Because again, no relationship is going to be perfect. And like nobody you're ever with is going to arrive to you perfect. But there are things that are just signs of character flaw. Totally. Like non-negotiables. Yeah. Like something's just wrong with your character, your morality. That's different than like we're having a communication issue.

Or we communicate differently or we might like different things. I still rock with who you are at the court. Yeah. People saying shit like that, that's a fundamental flaw. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Something wrong with you. Yeah, that's sinister.

Women are so intuitive and empathetic naturally. And I've said before that women, women are forced to develop empathy at a very young age, whereas men have to choose whether or not they want to learn it at a very late age. And that's determined who becomes awful and who's not. And women are naturally so smart and, like, intuitive. So they, you know. That's why I'm like, I don't have a superpower that you don't have. Like I genuinely believe women sense energy and they have these gut instincts.

And sometimes they ignore them to. to placate other like men, like or to make them feel better or prioritize their feelings, which is something women naturally do. And that's why I feel like it's important that people like you and I emphasize that you don't have to do that for men who are harmful to you. For anyone, because as a lesbian, I don't seen some toxic lesbian shit. We be toxic. Shit be happening and when we fight is like World War III.

So like I, you know, regardless of gender, I think, because also there's, genderless relationships. I say this to say in any capacity if you recognize that something is on a pipeline to potentially being way crazier, you have to care about

you enough in that way to like and sometimes you feel stupid. Sometimes you're like, damn, I'm leaving over something so small or like, whatever, whatever. Because honestly we've been taught that shit is not bad until it's the worst. Exactly.

That's why I mean, like our grace and patience. Save yourself. the time, baby, we're not getting no younger. We're just not. Like, it's... Seems of the time and the trauma. Thank you. You want to go to therapy later?

It's expensive. You've got to probably run through a couple of them. It takes up an hour of your day twice a week. Oh, girl. Although, hey, hey, everybody do get therapy. Yeah, if you can and you are willing, please do. But save yourself like the trauma coaching. It's not worth it. Trust me.

Sometimes it makes you funny and sometimes it doesn't. Right. Right. Okay, so some of the comments on this, this one says, as a woman, that's good for her husband or her partner, why would you be dressing half-naked? Why not? Yeah, what fuck?

You don't want me to be a hot girl? Okay. Damn, because how did I get you in the first place? Exactly. Because you thought I was a hot girl, right? So then you want to get with me, you want me to be... Mm-hmm. I don't get it.

Just do you love me for who I am or do you not? Period. Period. of the person that I'm with. Like, I'm in Ares Venus. Like, I have to be, like, gagged at my partner. Like, in what they do and who they are, in their passions, and, like, how they express themselves.

It doesn't have anything to do with what's going on on the outside. It's how passionate they are about life. If part of your passion and self-expression is how you show up and get to leave the house every day, I'm going to be turned off if you start dumbing down who you are because you think you have to do that to impress me in a relationship. Totally. Live your rock star life.

Yeah, period, bitch. If my girl's outside shaking it and throw it and whatever the fuck she wants outside, I'm about to be like, live your life. Live your best life. I love you at your most full of life. I love you at your most full of joy. I love you at your most excited. Like the second you become dull, that's when the relationship suffers.

Absolutely. Because we're two unhappy people. Absolutely. And you're not being who you really are. You're not like walking. That's not why I liked you. Exactly. That's not what I was attracted to.

Exactly. And also, too, it's just so, like, I feel like it's indicative more of, like, who that person is. Like, if you feel that insecure about your partner, even though that's why you liked them in the first place, it says more about you than it does about them. Maybe you need to go shake some ass. Yeah. Or wear the short skirt. I forgot what the, what the, what the, it's all, it's one and the same. It's all the same.

You need to go do you. Yeah. Yeah. And also, too, it's like, why wouldn't, it takes a bad bitch to date a bad bitch, right? So like it real, Re- Recognize, real girl. Yeah. Game recognized game.

So like if you don't have it, that's why you hate it. Yeah. So go work on yourself. Go get it. Drew relation. This next comment says, this isn't misogyny. It's just boundaries.

Which I've actually made a video about because there was a famous guy who was doing that shit to his girlfriend. Boundaries. Yeah. Giving men the gift of the therapisting language was a curse put on this fucking earth. The way they misuse that shit is.

great. Like the way they misuse gaslighting and boundaries. Oh, just the buzzwords. Oh, girl. They're like, you're gaslighting me. I'm like, I... That is gaslighting. That's not what that is. You're telling... That's gaslighting. Oh, my gosh. I even said in that video, like, boundaries are for you. Right? They're not supposed to strip your partner

of autonomy. Like, that's not a boundary. It's a demand. Like, when you say like, oh, that's just my boundary, it's supposed to be, like, if you were an alcoholic and you're like, I can't go to parties with alcohol because it's too tempting for me. That's a boundary. Yeah, that's not like, hey, all don't have no alcohol at this party. I just can't go to the party.

Exactly. That's your boundary. You're exerting it. When you say like you're not allowed to do that, that's not a boundary. It really robs couples of being able to have really like deep vulnerable conversations and get to the root. Because there's a way to say, hey, yeah, this makes me uncomfortable. And your partner can go, well, why? And then if you're vulnerable enough to get through the why and to answer that honestly,

your partner might end up being able to tell you like, oh, I don't feel so good about myself or I have an ex who went to a party once and cheated on me and that had nothing to do with how she was dressed, blah, blah, blah, like you can actually get all the way down and actually come out of that conversation with like a new understanding and a deeper connection to your partner. But like you're refusing to get to that

when like you're not being honest about what the root of the problem is because it's not that she has on a tiny outfit. It's fucking not. There's no way. The math doesn't math. That's not the math. Oh, girl. You'd be shocked to see what some people were wearing.

Like, ask people what they were wearing when they cheated. Was it something skimpy? Girl. And I doubt it. You know what I'm saying? Y'all was naked cheating. What are we talking about? That's what I'm saying.

If they've made the choice to cheat, it doesn't fucking matter what they're wearing. Like, it literally doesn't matter at all. That is a conscious. It's here. Yeah. They've made the choice already. It's not something. Let me find out they got cheat fits.

Cheat costumes. And it just turns your cheater on and see what you put on. Like it's something you put on it. You're just like, tiny skirt, cheat mode activated. Yeah,

literally like the Hulk. Like they're like, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, you won't like me when I cheat. The cheat loads.

Yeah. Yeah, they wake up naked in a ditch, dead bodies everywhere. Oh my God. They're like, oh no, I cheated again. Oh, God. My man's going to be so mad at me.

I cheated again. You just turned green and destroy everything around you. That's my version of cheating. And I agree. I'm like, well, you can sing, duh. I was going to say you're a very talented singer. I can't sing for shit.

But I've told people I think that was God humbling me. Like he doesn't give a both hands. Like he made me funny, but he's like, I can't give you. I can't give you singing. Me and math. You and just general basic math? No, I have, I think it's pronounced discalculus, which is like dyslexia for numbers. Really?

I'm talking about if we walk into the restaurant with a party of people and the restaurants say how many people don't look at me. because I'm going to get it wrong. Really? If anything. So if you looked at a group of people, you'd be like, that could be nine people or nine thousand. Actually, my brain might break trying to tell you how many people are in this room. I'm going to have to start over three times.

No, for real. What are you talking? For real, it's a real thing. I believe you. Like, someone with me always has to tip or I just naturally overtip. Okay. Like, my friends had to grab things from me and be like, let me put the correct amount because you have to stop just leaving that much money because you're doing a lot.

And I'm like, I'm actually snapping because like pay servers, they deserve it. Maybe I'm on to something. Like, honestly rock out the whole time. It's coming from the root of like, I actually am so scared of like under tipping people because that's so fucked up that I'm like, I'm just going to do the, I'm just going to do this. You do something crazy. And my friends are like, bro, you could have tip like $15. And I'm like, are like $6.

And I'm like, I'm over here like $100. Like it runs away. But it's bad, dude. For real. The scurry is so real. It's serious. You do be scurrying. Yeah.

Scurrying and not counting. Yeah. It's real bad. It's real bad. It's bad. I was like, if God give me the power to sing, I'd be insufferable, I think. I'd be like, God, guys, okay, I'll sing. All right, fine.

Okay, fine, I'll sing. I'm the most non-singingist singer. I just don't sing ever. Do you like karaoke? No. No? Hate. Why?

I mean, I'll go. Yeah. I'm sure somebody will find video evidence and link it to this podcast. I proved it. You do go to karaoke. I've been dragged to karaoke, yes. But how lame is that to go to karaoke with a real singer? And, like, you guys are up there drunk singing all off key, having a blast.

And, like, a singer for a living gets up there. And that's like going and playing at the arcade with the basketball games with somebody from the fucking NBA. Like, that is so lame. Go play a shooting game. Like, I should just ban myself to only, like, rapping at the karaoke. Okay. But you just do fun songs, rap, or you just sit there and try to count everybody in the room. I've had people.

Now I'm getting dragged. My best. Look at my game for being vulnerable. See, this while I hide. Damn, I've had people make requests for me. Like, people are like, yeah, just sing that song. Sing the one song. It ends up in, like, fucking Kichol or some shit.

But if I had to choose, I do. be picking the rap songs on purpose because I typically don't know them. And I just, it's the only way I'm going to be able to make a complete fool of myself because I think it's actually hard as a singer naturally to sing bad on purpose. No, it is. It's hard. It's because your voice, not even like that, but like being all key is like, it's like, it like rattles your brain as a musician.

Like, if somebody's playing an instrument and the instrument is like at a tune, It like does something to me. It like hurts my teeth. I don't know how to explain it. It's like, ah, it's like one of those noises. Like nails on a chalkboard. Exactly. So I don't know.

I'll probably just stick to a rap or something. Or like do like a hard rock song. Oh nice. Get my don't stop believing on. Yeah. Period. Oh yeah. The white people songs, they go.

I will be in that bitch. Oh, yeah. Journeying it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Some one of the few. And I can't sing. I'm like one of the few someone. They get to just live their inner rock style. Yeah. I think so many people, though, get real competitive, so, like, it has to be good, which is why I never sing at karaoke, because I don't want to, I don't want all of, like, all my family laughs like me. I don't want to hear that about me. That's fucked up. That's fucking mean. So, like, I just removed myself from the competition entirely. Okay, well, we talked about a whole bunch of things, but I would love to know, like, just as an end note, what would be your best piece of advice for any artists, like singers, like rappers, whatever it may be? who maybe are queer or lesbian or gay or whatever it may be

and they want to enter the space but maybe they feel like well now obviously there's a new wave of representation and you're obviously at the forefront of it with many other people but what would you say is your best piece of advice for them if they're like feeling are discouraged or maybe a little down on maybe where do I fit in this industry? I think if you feel safe connecting with your community

then just realize that the community is larger than you can imagine. Like, if you feel safe and want to have gay-centered shows for gay people and create those spaces and that be your crowd, like don't feel like you're selling yourself short.

Like, you can have a full-blown, super incredible, amazing career that doesn't feel compromising to your safety, that doesn't feel... And it also isn't like a... On purpose, I'm doing this to, like, pan... You can't pander to your own community. Like, I just...

I don't believe that. Like, you can have a career that is built on you still feeling fulfilled and feeling safe and doing what you want to do for who you want to do it for and there's a lot more people out there waiting to discover you than you even realize you know i think we've been like morphed to like think that the gay community is like this big and like we just have our little pride parades and we just have our little like gay lists of the year and like gay art favorite gay artist by blah yeah that's just because like the industry wasn't built naturally evenly

across all communities to have that. So right now, of course, it looks uneven. But as far as the internet, the streets, the people, like, you can create your fan base. Don't hesitate to promote yourself. Don't hesitate to put your story out there. Don't hesitate. There's nothing corny about, like, telling people how much you're proud of what you do and how much you love this thing that you've made and that you've created.

And I would say, just don't hold back and, like, don't feel weird about it. And there are people waiting to receive you, you know, whether you can fathom that or not. Because a lot of this shit is unfathomable. Most of what we do as an artist or creative in general, like, we're not sitting here being able to go like, oh, I know for a fact. I'm going to be impactful in this country, in this country, in this way to these people. You cannot fathom that. So allow yourself to like walk with that excitement of like potential of like honestly anything could happen for me. Any of these people could like me.

Any of these people could be receptive. And yeah, just just fuck with yourself for real. Absolutely. Period. Look at that. Also, Kailani can't do math. also I can't do math I won't fuck with myself in the math capacity

but everything else I got this she's got it on lock don't worry about it one two three four five nailed it period thank you so much for coming on the show I fucking love you

love you back so your boyfriend we love him team boyfriend only boyfriend I'm team just mine that's it that's it yeah sorry window close again can't vouch for anyone else and will not in fact

Thank you so much for joining us on this episode Thank you so much for my amazing guest Kailani, where can everybody find you for the people The two people that don't know you Kailani everywhere On everything as Kailani Period. Kailani has new music coming out So make sure y'all stay tuned for that

It's going to be fucking incredible As Shaken Summer, already calling it There we go Thank you so much for tuning into this episode Of the Comments Action Show Don't forget new episodes drop every Wednesday You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms but the video lives exclusively and for free

for the 100th fucking time on Spotify. If I see one more comment that says, why isn't this on YouTube? It's because it's on Spotify. The video lives on Spotify and Kaylani's music's on Spotify. So make sure you all go stream both and have a really, really fun ass-shaking summer. Thank you so much for joining us on this week's episode. Thank you to Kaylani.

I'll see you next week. Bye.