The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - STOP THE CAMERAS! | Drew Afualo ft. Cyrus Veyssi | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 13

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew has Cyrus on this week as they chat Persian family life, gender roles, and of course – your favorite – The Comment Section! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Cyrus Veyssi: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyrusveyssi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some white kid called me a racist, right? And then someone said, why, why would you say that? And he goes towards Australian men. Not a race, babe. Cut the cameras. That's not a rice, babe. Oh. You know what they are? A virus.

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when you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get started at redfin.com. Own the dream. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show, starring me, your favorite girl, and I have bangs again,

and everybody better compliment my bangs. I swear to God, If I don't see one compliment about my banks. Anyways. Today we have a very, very, very special guest. Truly like one of the loves of my life. Serious. It's Bessai, right?

They see. They see. I love that. I should have asked before. Okay, serious. They see. Perfect. Hello.

Hi. I'm so happy. Oh, yo, I've literally been counting down the days. Me too. So we're finally here. I literally, I've told you so many times. I was like, I can't wait to have you on my show. We talk all the time because we're,

real life friends. Literally, but also like ranting on the daily. Oh my God. So I feel like this is just a manifestation of that. Yeah, every time. Every single time I have something I'm like,

you know who I'm going to text? Spill the tea. As soon as you got here, I was like, I remember right till you, I was like, oh yeah, and we did.

And we did. We'll save you some, but like, yeah. Well, Sirius is a, I would say a beauty content creator. I love that for me. Yeah, I love that for you. Definitely.

So you're like a beauty content creator, influencer, influencer, Gemini. Love that. I know that that's, we have thoughts, but like Gemini. Yeah, no, but I just, I create a lot of content on the internet

that surfaces, like social issues, that integrates with like beauty, wellness fashion. And then I also rant on my platform. And I show my dad a lot. Yeah, your dad is a star. I was gonna say, yeah,

Baba is. Yeah, was supposed to actually be here, not me, but like, I decided to step in. I couldn't, I couldn't get him. No, all right, fine. He's literally booked. Anyway, so I'm so excited to be here. I'm so much.

happy to have you like truly groundbreaking. Thank you. Not to make out with you metaphorically, but you are like groundbreaking and I'm so honored to have you here. Listen, the feeling is so mutual. I can't wait to get into it. Right. So today we're going to talk about for our topic today, we're going to go over gender roles, which we have very strong thoughts on the two of us. Obviously, I'm a cis straight woman. Right? And you're non-binary. I'm non-binary. So I, for those of you who might not be as familiar. Non-binary just essentially means that I don't identify within a certain like binary of gender. So I'm sort of gender fluid. Yeah. I use they and he pronouns though. But yeah, I think for me it's really interesting thinking about gender because I feel like I have

all the experience. I was going to say I literally I handpicked the topics for those who you don't know. I handpick the topics for all my guests as well as my guests I invite them. But I pick gender roles for us because it's like the perfect topic to discuss with you. Literally perfect. Literally because you're someone who operates in between. Yeah. I operate exactly. I operate in between and I feel like part of it is also figuring out

like especially on TikTok and I know you know this is like how targeted content is towards like men and women versus like within the spectrum. Yeah. So I think that's also very interesting. Yeah. No one hates talking about that more than straight one. And we know a good amount of

thought, right? blows their minds. And that's the craziest thing to me, I always told you. Like, the number, the number one source of, like, all of the epitome catastrophe that I receive in my comment section, my own personal comment section, comes from cis straight men. Same. But a lot of the time, it's also, like, I always say it this way.

If you're coming onto my platform, you better be telling me something I don't know. Like, if you're going to, like, true, that's the thing. I'm always like, did I know this? They're like, oh, like, you don't have a, I'm like, no, exactly. Like, what are you saying? You know what I mean? Like, I feel part of it is just me. You're telling me?

Yeah. So I'm like, if you don't have something that I don't know about, I'm good love. Like, you don't, especially if it's hate. Like, I'm just like, we don't need that. No, we're good. We have that in common. We'd be posting hate comments, handles and everything. Do you ever have people go, I can't believe you don't block out handles?

I'm like, this is so fun for me. Are you kidding? I'm like, literally, you're boosting my engagement. But I think we've talked about this too. In many ways, I think it depends on the TikTok algorithm. Sometimes if I say things and I call people out, the app doesn't love it and might take it down, which is tea. I get that. That's fair.

But then I think part of it too is I grew up in a world where a lot of people specifically like cis straight men just got away with whatever. And you say this a lot too. Got away with literally saying whatever they wanted to say. And I'm just like, you know what? I'm actually going to hold you accountable. Let's see how you like it. You want attention? Here we go.

And they short circuit. They don't know what to know. They're like, line. But you say this too. They think they're going to, it's going to, like, boost their own page. I'm like, darling, it's going to tank your use. I said, you want to talk algorithm, babes, let's. Yeah.

And I said, if that's the case, why is every single dude I've ever stitched, not Charlie DeMilio? 100%. Right is that? I'm so sorry. Show me your analytics. I said, one of us goes viral. And it's not you, babe. And I told you this too.

I told you this from the start. If they were smart, they would just stop commenting. But they love paying your rent. They literally, they love paying. And they love like getting us more visibility and getting us partnerships. I'm like, keep it up. I don't get it. No, because you say you're smart.

I literally described it as like it's the simplest puzzle and they'll never put it together. No. So one time I did a brand deal for cervical. That's literally the best way to put it. Oh my gosh. For literally cervical health awareness. Yeah. I was telling, I was telling all my uterus having friends to go get their paps.

That's what I was telling people. Tell me why I had thousands of dudes stitching that video being like, you know what? You're a fat bitch and you can't lift and you're nuts. I said, this is the one you wanted to. Just one more down. All the videos you could have picked, this is the one. Oh, because it's literally just to cry for attention.

All the time. And I said, you know I get paid better when they do better. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. If they were smart, they'd understand. Or pretend they like me. Yeah. Sometimes do you ever have people comment stuff?

This has happened to me recently. Who follow you and then say, yeah. I'm like. Or they're like they have some sort of following and you're like, did you mean to write this from a burner? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I know.

I see that happen. And I always say it's too. Growing up a lot of, I went to like a boarding school, which is very off brand for me. But like I kind of loved it. I like wore the uniforms. Was it all boys or was it all girls? It was all. Yeah.

No, it was mixed. It was like everyone. I wore like the collared shirt, like the cordoid j-cruid. Oh, completely. Completely. It was very boarding school. Very like, I wanted to make it like Jemay private school girl. It was not like that for me. It's not my truth. But it was interesting because all of the guys that I went to school with who were like rude and like homophobic were so nice to me because I was like your girlfriends are my best friends. So like let's, you know, be very careful about. Exactly. And I feel like sometimes I don't know if you experience this, but I get that energy on TikTok too. I'm like your girlfriends are following me. Oh, all the time. Like, I'm their internet BFF. Like, what are you doing? I say to them all the time.

I'm like, the girl of your dreams loves me. That is literally the, she's in my DM. 100%. She loves, as I say, if you're smart, pretend you like me or keep your mouth shut. I said, keep it shut. Otherwise, if the girls find out, they're going to turn on you. I know.

I know. The tides will turn. Yeah, but they'll never learn. They'll never learn. And that's okay with me. I'm super cool with that. Oh, absolutely. But when it comes to, I forgot to mention this,

When it comes to gender roles, for me personally, like, I'm Samoan, so like a lot of Polynesian culture is very matriarchal. So we hold women in very high regard. Yeah, I'm thinking about my own culture. Yeah, no, go ahead. So we hold women in very high regard. And, like, in Samoan culture, the men do all the cooking and cleaning. Women take care of children and elderly. That's typically how gender roles work in Samoan culture.

But men do all the cooking and cleaning. So, like, that's how it was when I was growing up. It's very normal to me. Not that my mom didn't cook and clean. but like my dad prefers to cooking clean. Like he enjoys doing it. My boyfriend enjoys doing it. So I'll do it too.

Like don't sit there. Yeah, but like if you're loving it, like I don't contribute. Right. So I'm like, hello, look at me. I'm also a good time. I am dating a very sweet white Italian man. Yeah. And I'm not experiencing.

No, I love him. But like it's so interesting because growing up to Persian like first generation, same thing. Very matriarchal. My dad cleans. Like he's the one who always like does the dishes. my mom will cook, she loves it. But then he cleans, he does a lot of like sort of those sorts of chores.

It's perceived to be a feminine dude. Yeah, and I'm just like, I think it's interesting to like my dad in many ways is very masculine and has sort of those some traits of toxic masculinism. We're working on it, y'all. We are unpacking it together. And that's the beautiful thing.

Yeah, learning it together. But I think in terms of the gender roles growing up, like I also associated so similarly with my mom in so many ways, but then also, like, I'm a neat freak. So my dad is too. And, like, I've picked up on some of those things. But then knowing that I grew up in a space that was like a bunch of other Americans, like, we just lived very different lives.

Like, I'd literally go to their houses. This is something I don't know if you experience this. When an older person who is Persian walks into the room, you stand up. Like, it is just a very, like, cultural thing. So meanwhile, I'm going to like my friend's American houses, like Bob and Sally. And, like, their grandpaws come. I'm like, standing up going, what are you doing? I'm like, oh, my God.

Yeah, we have something similar. Those sorts of roles, like in my mind, were in grade when I was super young. Yeah, same. I mean, for us, for someone, people, whenever we go into a room, we greet everybody. So we kiss everybody on the cheek and give everybody hugs. So we do that to every, if there's 50 people in the room, you're going around, it doesn't matter how long it takes. You do all of that before you sit down.

Exactly. Same thing with eating, like, we serve elderly before we eat. Whether it's a man or a woman, it doesn't matter. Children, younger people, they serve first. they don't eat. So that's why I'd wait to eat all the time at my friend's houses. Oh yeah. I'd wait to eat. I try to go say hi to them. Sometimes they get weird about hugs. I'm like, oh, this is before COVID. But sometimes they get weird about hugs. I'm like, oh, sorry. So like, this is just like how I do it. So yeah. Yeah. It's just different. And then also like

my with speaking of gender roles, whenever we're like at the table too, my dad is a foodie to say the least. So like when he goes for the food first, the look my mom gives him is straight up like exercise. Like she is like grab it. See what happens before like guests or other older people are there especially when you have like older women or you have like matriarchs who are there. It is so funny.

Oh my God yeah. Your dad's like sorry I blacked up. I look yeah for the eighth time I was so excited to eat I blacked up. I eat in a rage that's honestly I relate to you. I know I get that too. I do the same thing. Trying to be patient with him. You know what I mean. Okay so for those of you who are unfamiliar what we like to do on this show is we bring videos that I was tagged

in and we bring them here and we deconstruct them and we just eat them up eat them alive speaking of being a foodie. I'm a foodie. I'm hungry too. Yeah. I had a early breakfast. There we go. I love that. Okay. So for this first video, we're going to, I was like to give a little summaries of the video. So in this video, it's basically an appreciation video. Like a boyfriend posted an appreciation video for his girlfriend, right? And so off top, like appearance wise, the boyfriend is more feminine. Okay. And the girlfriend is more masculine, whatever that means. That's just how people interpreted it. Yeah. But the comments were so vile as they are always, especially on TikTok. Like, I feel like the comments on every platform varies. Like the terrible is very different. Whereas,

like, I've talked about it once with someone like Instagram, they can write you a novel if they wanted. They could write you a five paragraph essay if they really wanted to. Never going to end. No. And on TikTok, they'll, they'll say the most biting thing because there's limited characters. So they'll just say the worst thing they could possibly think of. But then the funniest thing is when they then create a chain of their own comments. And I'm like, you're literally talking to yourself. And that's fine. No judgment, but you're literally talking to yourself.

Yeah, like who is this for a bit? No, it's, I don't understand, especially with those, like, I'm excited to unpack this. Because for me, it's like, if it also hits the wrong side of TikTok, that's when it gets. Which happens terribly. And it's so unfortunate too because the video, is purely just like out of love and appreciation. It wasn't meant for, it's not a think piece. It's not, it's not a discussion on gender.

Everyone has to consume it. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to, yeah, analyze it like, okay, professor, relax, right? It's not a study on gender and sexuality. The funny thing is none of those people who write hateful shit understand gender or sexuality in a nuanced way whatsoever. Anyway, and the funny thing, too, is that, like, I say this to myself. So I studied sociology in college and it was like my concentration. Oh my god.

Yeah. Okay, yeah. So we like I truly have somewhat of a background. Like I did my thesis in this. I studied post grad like I think it's really interesting now that the conversations around like for example with pronouns. Like everybody's like oh like all we talk about. Like but no one really knows what's going on.

And it's also like not that big of a deal. Like we can be. But it becomes that weaponized tool. Yeah. That especially like straight disguise can use to like try and like provoke or trigger you. Yeah. To be funny. And I'm like, have you seen that video of that dude where he's going, um, trying to tell a joke.

in 2022. Oh my God, yeah. And he's like, a guy walks into our bar and they're like, so it's gendered. I'm all, who says that? And where's the joke? I'm like, who says that? And I have a good sense of humor. So do you want to explain?

No, genuinely. I'd like to think I'm pretty funny. Yeah. I'd like to think I'm a comedy constable, if you will. All the time. I think so, always, yeah, they don't go over my head. But I also think part of it is there is something really interesting about like seeing a comment, knowing that it was meant to provoke you.

And then being like, you know, what, I have the time today. And I'm not, and this is coming from a different place of like, I'm truly going to like take apart this comment and eviscerate it. Because again, it goes back to the point where we were talking about. It's like a lot of people don't think that there's accountability for what they're saying, especially when they say really shitty stuff. Like terrible things.

Terrible things. And they're like, and then they'll hide behind like, oh, it's, it was just my opinion. Yeah. And I'm not doing it for myself. I'm doing it for like younger people that are seeing this happen and be like, you know what I mean? I feel like you're the same way. It's just like, I'm like this. If anything, this doesn't hurt me.

It hurts somebody else. It doesn't hurt me. And that's why I don't deal with that. Like I'll rip it apart and then I'll block you because you're not allowed in here. If that's what you're going to act up, you get kicked out. That's what happens. And the blocking for me happens when it's just like someone who's actually like ringing up my notifications in a way that I can't like concentrate. I'm just like you're not going to get my attention.

No, you lose privilege leave. But TikTok, you're so right. Like the platforms are so different. Like Instagram I feel like it's such a safe space for me in many ways. Whereas on TikTok if I posted something you never know, it could get on the wrong. Which apparently this video did. Yeah, it's like, it literally, I think, I know it sucks because it was just like supposed to be like, I'm in love with this person and I love them and want to show them kind of thing. So like these comments are super terrible, just forewarning.

But like they say my brain is working so hard right now, I think to compute. I don't know. Oh my gosh. Hilarious one. This one says I literally cannot comprehend what's going on when you get the right answer, but the steps are wrong. what in the multiverse. It's literally all spicy straight. And it's because, like, to them, and I think about it this way, it's threatening something

that they think is true for themselves. It has nothing to do with this couple. No. This is fine. They're beautiful. It's projection. At its finest. At its finest.

Yeah. And it's also like, I think to myself, like, when I've been in positions in my life where I wasn't the most secure, I think I've said things that were rude. And it was a projection of how I'm feeling. And I say this. me, Phil. Exactly. When you go to someone's platform and you say something that's rude or hurtful, you're not

identifying their trauma. You're finding out your own. You're literally just like divulging your own trauma. You're like, you don't need to go to therapy because you did it. 100%. And I wonder where, like, did the comments focus to you on those like, on masculinity, femininity, like the traditional ways

we think about it? Yeah, truly it was like that's why they said that spicy straight thing because it's like they don't operate within whatever they consider to be normal, whatever that is. But if you remove yourself even more, you're single. Let me see your photos. That's crazy.

You go home alone every night, right? Okay. So maybe find someone who will love you, which is going to be hard, and then come back and then we could talk about relationships, babe. Right. And that's what I also think, too, about people who, like, comment on my makeup or my beauty or stuff in my comment section. I'm just like, can I see a, can I see selfie?

Because I can't see anything because you don't have a name. And you also don't have a profile picture. Can you imagine what the makeup looks like? Oh my gosh. I kind of would actually in a bad way. Beat up is what it looks. Seriously. And I'm just like at a certain point, I think when it comes to like gender roles in that sense,

I also think you have like people who identify along all the different spectrums of sexuality and gender. And the fact that it's so fluid, it's like you can have a queer relationship with two queer people and they still really are attracted to each other and love each other. So I think when that hits that wrong side of. TikTok and you get a bunch of straight cis guys who are like again what's this happening maybe it's the fact that this person who's more feminine than you is actually pulling harder than you are and that's what's bothering you do you know what I mean maybe that's what it is maybe it's that you're painfully alone and single absolutely goes back to that maybe it's that you hate yourself

and no one else likes you because you're insufferable have you ever thought about that do you want to comment on that when I see people say like like for me for example like obviously I'm a straight cis person with another straight cis person right but when the shit that I say, men are always like, oh, she must be single. Oh. She must be single. And I'm always like, it's funny because I'm not. I love when they say that, though, or they say, oh, I bet he's ugly.

Because then I know clock, I clock a million like video. Let pause the show. If you have not seen the video of Drew posting. My boyfriend. I think I saved that video down and was like, oh my God, he is. Was it the one of him running on the treadmill in the beginning? Girl, there was a lot of him doing a lot of things. It was like, it was truly...

You know what's funny is I'd be waiting for those comments because my videos go viral. Thanks, babe. Because my boyfriend... Immediately add that comment to favorites. I'm about stitch it. A hundred... No, that's what I'm saying. I'll literally stitch it and I'll open it.

Even if I'm filming, I'm in a random place. I'll film it so I save the comments so I don't lose it. I literally... Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. I added to favorites. That's what whenever someone says, I wait... Listen, y'all, I wait for the, like, oh, like, dude's fatherless or, like, like, here's your dad.

I'm like, do you want, he's eating pistachios on the couch. Do you want us to do like in live? Like, what do you want to do? That to me, oh my gosh. It makes me so happy. Right. Same. And then when they see what he looks like, the narrative, they're just constantly

moving the goalposts. Like, after it's that, they find out I do have someone, he's very good looking, blah, blah, blah. Then it moves to like, oh, well, I feel sorry for him. And I said, you're single, feel sorry for you. Yeah. Prioritize you, Beth. Redirect that energy to your.

yourself. Oh yeah. And that's the thing too. When you have someone that that's that attractive, and I think about this too, it's like it's no longer subjective. It's objective. Like there's nothing you can like, what are you going to do? Like you know, it's funny. I talked to Britney Brosky about this. Like we talked about it and she was asking me. Love her. I love her. My twin. But I asked, I literally asked her or she asked me, how did I find him? And I was like, oh, I met him in high school. Like she's like, really? And we were talking about it. And I told her that he was a sociology major in college. And she was like, she asked me if I had to like,

he seemed so much more attractive. Oh my gosh. She asked me, well, she asked me like about our relationship, how it works. Well, because obviously I'm very like outspoken person. But in real life, I feel like I'm a lot more chill. You know, right? You talk to me all the time. But like, yeah, I was like talking to her about it.

And I said, yeah, he actually taught me this concept. Like, have ever heard the classroom example in sociology? Yes, actually. Yeah. You know how it's like, I'll just explain it for all of you because you already. now. But like oppression works like a classroom. So the people at the very back see all the people in front of them who are oppressing them. So at the very, very back, it's like trans black women. And it goes all the way up from there at the very front of the class is

cis straight white men. Right. So they can't, they don't think anyone's being oppressed because they can't see anybody, right? So I explained this whole thing to her. And she goes, did you teach him now? I go, bitch he taught me that. She was like, you bitch. Right? I was talking about laughing. He taught me that. I had never heard that before, ever. I mean, listen, listen, at the end of the day, jealousy is a very, very, very sneaky thing.

And I think the internet is just gravitating towards it. Yeah, truly. In many different ways. Yeah, and that's why I'm like, he's very smart. He's educated. Like, he knew a lot of stuff. I've taught him some stuff. He's taught me a lot of stuff.

So that's how I was like, you want to talk about gender roles? Yeah. And he's like, I love the fact. and my boyfriend's like this too, like they're not like on the internet that often. And like he's a very shy person. Like I'm outgoing, but you know me too.

Like I'm also on another level. Like I like to have a private life. And I think the fact that he's not in there. And the fact that even like my dad, I feel like sometimes I publicize him too much on my page. Like he's a very private person. Honestly though, like he loves making videos.

He loves the attention. Oh yeah. What's his time? Oh, so he is a tourist. Oh, I love tourists. And he is.

And I will say at the same time he at the first, when we first started to film together, y'all, like, he'd be like, I don't understand why we're doing this. And I'm like, I get that. Let's just like make videos. He's like, this isn't going to do well. It did well. Went viral. Now I'm like on the couch eating something. He goes, come on.

Let's do something. I'm like, oh, you. Oh, okay. He's like, speed. He has like, he's like, I have something I want to say. I'm like, great. And now he's getting recognized. I love that. He doesn't get. He'll literally call me and be like, I don't know why they said hi. I'm like, I don't know why they said hi. I'm like, oh, no, they see you on the internet they really like you he's like i don't understand i'm like you'll you'll get it

he's like how did that person know me completely who told you about me persian dad like trying to just get his like pomegranate's pistachios and get out like truly doesn't like that attention do you love pistachios oh my god drew if there are any pistachio brands that are watching this just DM me and we will make something work he all day it's like that any sort of like seeds or nuts it's like a very Persian men in general just all the time love to a little snack on them They're either just like gossiping or having Eating pistachios? That's those two things.

So funny. But anyway, so I was saying it was also like I feel like having certain parts of your life private is such a joy and such a blessing in this space because we're also so public. Oh my God. Yeah. So I feel like the times that we can use it to our advantage in a way to be like you're so beyond wrong about this. As soon as I see it, I'm like, that's money in the bank when I see it. And that's what everybody assumes things about people and is also like you literally don't

know this person. Yeah, exactly. So, like, maybe just do your research before. I once had someone, stitch a video of mine, and was like, this is why you'll never get a woman. And I was like, oh, babe. Ma'am. Who's going to tell him?

I was like, I'll FaceTime you right now. Let's chat. A woman. I was like, listen, I am like. To do what? Is it? Yeah. I was like literally to each other's hair.

Like, literally like, what am I going to do? Like, I, people truly will find. some sort of a narrative or even like immigrant experiences like they'll find that narrative and create it for themselves. Like someone once commented something like your dad like went through war and like came to this country

for you to be like queer and I'm like my dad went to art school and like all of his friends are queer and like I'm fully not a shocker and not a surprise to him like came out to him when I was nine. Your dad probably doesn't do. No yeah and that's the thing again projection

it really is always projection. It's always all roads lead back to the same thing. It's always a man. Yeah, same thing with my, with my boyfriend too. Like, sometimes, sometimes people will tell, like, do you know what your girlfriend is doing? I'm like, no, I'm living a different life. I put this bang on, he has no idea who I am. You just rub the bang down.

No, truly, I put on this bang and he's like, who is that? Who is that stranger? Oh my gosh. He knows exactly. Sometimes I show my boyfriend my videos, and he goes, and I feel like he could have been meaner. Oh my... I said, so if you want me

If you want his opinion, he wants me to be meaner to you. That's what he wants. You heard it here first. That's what he wants from me. And does he ever... Like, do you ever find videos that he also sees that he wants you to do?

Or is it all just like... No, it's 90% me. But he just recently started looking at TikTok like within the last month. And he's like, he'll show me, like, have you seen this? And it's like one from eight months ago. I'm like, yeah, babe, I saw it.

stitch that, yeah, literally last year. Show me something. Old hat, show me something else. Oh my gosh, that is so... Sometimes though he'll send me videos, he's like, you have to do this one. You have to do this one. Yeah, he does it all the time.

He's doing my recon for me. Exactly. And then, but then they think they, again, make that assumption that like... Again, well, and you know what's funny? I told, sorry, not to cut you off. No, no, please cut me off. I literally saw...

I talked to someone about this recently, but I was saying when I started blowing up on TikTok, at the same time, I did a video where I talked about a gift my boyfriend got me. Like, he had paid for my nails, like, six months in advance as a Valentine's Day gift because he was so tired of me going to the nail salon. He like did a private manicurist. Like, so she doesn't much better.

Who's my current nail lady? Shout out, Michelle Nail Studio. Oh, Shout out. Right. Also that gift. Take notes. Right.

He found my eyelash girl and he found my nail girl, both of which were gifts surprises. Now they're my regular nail and lash tech. But like I rolled that ball at the same time that I was making this content. So I was saying I think it was much more powerful in that sense because a lot of times speaking at generals, like they make you believe in a patriarchal world that if you're a strong woman, you can't be with anyone. Like, no man's ever going to want you because if you're not in the kitchen and you're not cleaning, completely.

Then no man's ever going to want to marry you, which is wrong bitch. Well, my question to you on that note is also with general is like coming from a back, like a Samoan background where like as you mentioned, it can be very matriarchal in many ways when it comes like sort of cultural social experiences, like how does that impact the way that you navigate that role on the internet? Because I think for me too, in many ways, Persian men are actually very feminine, even like straight Persian men. So again, like someone might see a video of like my brother who is like amazing, love him, adore him. He's the sweetest person. Truly like enjoys going to gay clubs and like we'll always

like, I'm like, all right, you need to like. You know what I mean? But I'm like, a little much for me. And like literally gets everyone's number. But again, people will see him and assume that he's queer and gay, whereas he just has such an, um, like open personality and a lot of what he performs would be coded as feminine and therefore gay or queer. And so I, again, like, gender role, gender binary. Yeah, we grew up with like affection. Like my dad was super affectionate towards us. So I'm just like, so I'm curious if that's also, if you've had any like conversations on that on your platform or anything. Yeah, like I've talked about it, I think more so on my other platforms. Yeah. Um, but like I've talked about how like the matriarchal portion of my.

culture played a huge role into who I am today. That's why I don't take shit. Like they'll say the same thing like fatherless behavior whoever whatever dingbat made that up come here and I'm gonna punch you square in the face. I hate that joke. It makes no sense. It's not funny. It also puts men at fault so what's the gotcha moment? I don't know. But I every time they say that to me my dad was a huge my dad is so affectionate so loving like he has always been so open and emotionally cognizant. and he's very, like to talk about feelings, like, how are you feeling, that kind of stuff. So I was always around men like that. So that's why my bar has always been so high because all I've ever had is strong male figures that didn't let me settle.

And then also, and then to a certain point, who is? I don't even want to, like, say his name because I don't know his name, frankly. But the person, the guy who's like the podcast guy. Oh, the one and only. We talk about him a lot here. We'd be talking shit on him. I don't have social cues to respond to the words that are coming out of his mouth. Like to me, it's almost like I, you're doing this.

I know you're doing this for views. Like we get it. Like we know you're doing clickbait. But at the same time, I'm just like, how hurt are you? Like, oh my God. But see, that's you being nice. I know. Because to me, I'm like, die long.

Keep talking. Keep recording it. Die long. Have you stitched him before? Yes. He is. Countless times. Are you talking about the one of the bald guy?

Bald. Ding or bald? Honestly, both? I don't know. Girl, what's the difference? Like, truly men? Like, does he wear the headphones all the time? He's always in the room with girls?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. He made a, he did a whole episode on me once, because that's how much he hates me. That's how much publicity he wants to give you? Yeah, but he'll never talk to me personally. Strategic. Oh, yeah. He'll never, like, people are like, you should go on the podcast.

I go, with all the respect in the world, I would rather go dive head first into a volcano. Yeah, with a cheese grater on my face. Imagine him wanting to have discourse. I'm like, talk to you about what? What are we going to talk about? Truly, like, what are we going to talk about? And I said, too, like, those men don't want to change. They have zero interest in changing and, like, growing and evolving.

They're not actually curious. They just hate women. They hate women because they can't get women because they're the worst. That's why I said, at what point in life do you look in the mirror and be like, maybe I'm the problem? Like, apparently not early enough. Like, truly never. Yeah.

And, and here's the other thing, too. Even when they start to get ratioed and their content starts to perform poorly, they'll create other accounts and backup accounts because they know what they're saying is like absolute garbage. Yeah, and they're like, people are afraid of the truth. So they'll put in their bio. Ban for telling the truth. Completely.

At like 30K. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, 30K. Okay. And then here's my other thing too. Whenever I am on, whenever I create a video and I have like those types of like toxic dudes, like comment on my stuff all the time. I think to myself, again, like, how interesting would it be if we showed this to, like,

the people that you know? Whenever I post videos and I get those types of guys in my comments, I'm like, I would love for your, like, parentals to see this comment. And then I would love for you to show them that you said these words. And that's the other thing, too, is the embarrassing nature. I've had moms DM me being like, I can't. Like, my son is like, you didn't mean it. I'm like, I don't care.

Like, do you want me to cry? Like truly, what do you want? Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I did nothing except for literally re-share something that he said. Yeah. I'm not doing anything else. The fact that you're now getting visibility and seeing how, like, shitty you are is like, not on me. That's literally, you said those words.

I stitched, I stitched someone once too that made a terrible joke, a terrible ablest and assault joke, right? Oh, I saw that. Yeah. That had my blood fucking, I'm sorry. That, that mom, that mom was in my comment. saying like I can't believe you made this like I get it it was bad it was a bad joke but this is so much worse is it is it is it's so much worse like we also have a very different idea about like what's bad what's not funny and what's funny I think I think you know you know what's

worse you coming to his defense you know what's worse the fact that your son is acting like this on a public platform maybe take this up with him I said I literally told her with all the disrespect, I don't give a shit. I don't care. Tell your son. Tell him. Take it to him, bitch. Because I didn't push him out of my cooter. That's for sure. You said something that I think is so amazing. I think it was one of your episodes.

I never said that I was nice. No, never. That's the one thing I've always stayed true to. That's why I said, how could you call me a hypocrite when I told you what was going to happen? Exactly. Or like guys that are trying to be like, Drew, why don't you like, just like put some, like, let's have like a discourse or conversation. Like, not when you're

a shitty human and not when you literally hate women. It's the same as me having conversation with someone who's homophobic or transphobic. Literally, what are we going to talk about. That's what you just said, if you're not going to tell me anything new, there's really no need to talk. We don't need to talk. I swear by that.

If you're not giving me new information, we're good. I don't need to hear anything. I don't need to hear it. I mean, I learn a lot during the day. But genuinely, if you're not bringing something new to the table, I think it's a waste of my time. It is. It's a waste of time and energy.

And I always tell people, that's a patriarchal value that women, are supposed to do that. They're supposed to be patient, to educate, to like give people grace. Like, oh, like, well, like, what if, what if, what if, what if he's the worst? What if he's a terrible person? And that's it. Period. What if I hate him?

Yeah. Then what? That's it. Yeah, literally. And it's a simple as that. It's as simple as that. Yeah. And I also think it's when you see a lot of women who, like women who identify as women, right?

Like in those positions who take. up space, they're immediately deemed as being hypermasculine and queer. Oh, yeah, all the time. Instead of like... I get those all the time. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think that's also an interesting thing. So think about this past video of like this amazing, gorgeous, lovely couple celebrating themselves. Yeah. Again, it's... You're not like identifying anything new within their relationship that they're all of a sudden going to be like, oh my God. Like, oh my God, I'm masculine. Like, no, you're literally just taking parts of your own experiences

that are making you feel uncomfortable, and you're going to project it towards them because you don't want anyone seeing it towards you. And that's where it comes from. Yeah, that's why, that's so funny, because I think that that's how you think you think they don't know. Right? You think you don't get that. 100%.

They probably know better than anybody. Listen, we're all self-aware. Like, at a certain point, too, like, listen, I'm no makeup artists. I know. Like, I do my beauty. I get comments all the time. Well, I think you're makeup artist. I disagree.

And you know what happens? I get comments about people being like your eyebrows are like this and like your lashes are like this and it's amazing. And then I get sometimes get guys that are just like, like your beard is showing. And I'm like, I know, I haven't shaved in two days. Just be kind. Were you like, is it? No, literally. And then sometimes I just troll. And like, when I get comments that are like, you are a male and I'm just like, I'm a Gemini. I don't know what you're talking about. Because I'm just like, I'm not going to have this conversation with you. I'm going to make you feel crazy. And I'm going to I'm going to literally gaslight you. And I'm going to gatekeep everything that I know about gender.

because we're girl losses at the end of the day. I stay doing that. I said a video. Our time is money. Right? I made a video about it once and I was like, dudes who try to use really big words. They're like,

Oh my God, I remember this one. Yeah. Well, let's actually have a discourse. Let's have a, no. That's what I said, it doesn't matter how many words you use.

Yeah. And did you just use, did you just learn the word discourse? Exactly. I said, I literally, they'll take that word satire. Sattire, unpack. Yeah.

Irony. They're learning intersectional, which I think is ironic. Like, truly. It's a very lack of intersectionality. But like front of the class. Goes back to your, like, could not be more at the front of the class. Yeah, I literally said like, no matter how many words you use, I'm going to tell you to suck my big fat dick.

I'm going to tell you, put it in your mouth and choke. That's what I'm going to say, always. No matter what you say to me. You're like, well, explain it to me. And I'm going to say, or you can eat my literal ass. How about that? And they get so mad. They're like, see, that's how I know you're not intelligent, blah.

I don't need to tell you that I'm smart for you to know I'm f***ing. Also, you spelled intelligent wrong. There you go. Today I literally tweeted from someone. Someone said, you're so conceited. I hope when they, blah, blah, blah. And I said, it's conceded. They used the wrong form of conceited.

Oh. Like, they meant this one. And I said, maybe learn how to spell before you tell people to humble themselves. Oh, or like, wait, someone's like, there's, let's conversate. Babe, it's converse. I know. I hate that one. It's converse.

I hate that. It's conversate. It's a made-up word. Made up word in your mind. That is so funny. One time I said the word unfunny, and people said that's not a real word. And I said, I don't know how to break it to you, but maybe go Google it. Also, like, do you have that much time to genuinely, like, be that?

And listen, I'm all about being very, like, intentional about word choices. But I think at a certain point, too, when you know someone is doing well, you know someone's being successful, they're going to come after you for all of those small little, like things that happen. Absolutely. Like happens to me all the time now. I'm just like, listen, at the end of the day, time is money. Yeah. And we're girl bossing our way through it.

We're too busy, babe. Too busy. Too booked and busy. I'm absolutely on the girl boss train. Okay. So this next video, we're going to talk about a man weaponizing gender roles. Right. So for this video, in this video, right, a man says his sister said that men can go out and fill the dishwasher men can hang clothes.

They get ignorant to the point that women will just say it's fine and they'll do it themselves. and his sister called this weaponized incompetence, which we were talking about earlier, which I love, honestly, I love that term. And it said, they said that men have done this for years, and that's how gender roles kind of get set in the household, obviously, other than patriarchy. And one of the hosts even admits that you'll do the assigned job so badly,

so she'll never ask you again. Again, yeah. And I've heard of weaponized incompetence before, have you? I, listen, and now it's like everything is flashing before my eyes in terms of like relationships. Like it's so funny. I think there is a very endearing version of it.

Like when you take aside gender roles, like I'm in a queer relationship with a man, with a cisgendered man. And we don't have gender. Gender role. I'm like, yeah. It's just like everyone does everything.

It's just like whatever. We do everything. Yeah. There are certain things that he does, and I hope he's watching, um, that like we've talked about like the toothpaste. Cap just goes right back on.

He is, isn't that crazy? goes right back. It's unbelievable that they've created a top that it doesn't have to go anywhere. So he's a top. So it's like, you know what I mean? I'm like, connect the dots. So you think he'd not. Right. And then he's Aquaman out of a shower. He'll literally not towel down and walk around my apartment. And I'm like, are you for real? So I'm just like, and he will be like, oh, like, yeah. And he's, I, when it comes to. Soking the floor. And he's like, oh, like, no, like, you do it bad. Like, you just, I'm just like, there's no part of this like is going to be put on me,

but it's endearing. But then what this is, is more. That's like, talking about kind of more social bow stuff. But I think that genuinely comes to like men and women and historically how like men and women have been socialized by this sociocultural world that we live in to come up with. It's a very interesting concept. Oh yeah. My boyfriend has never done that to me. I can confidently say.

Thank God. There were some again, it's just more so endearing. Yeah. Oh yeah. Those situations. Yeah. Like here's something my boyfriend always does. He comes in the room, takes off shoes, leaves him in the middle.

Yeah. If he changes, close right there too. It looks like he got evaporated, like abducted out of the clothes into the sky. In his mind? In his mind, that's what happened. And I go, why is this here? Like, why are these, like, there's something all right over here. You could walk the shoes into the closet, take them off in there.

And he's like, oh, he just every, I just don't. And I was like, I don't know if this is a man thing. If this is a straight man thing. I have no clue. I hate it. I just don't know. Oh, yeah. Where's a size 13 shoe?

So I trip over those clown shoes every single day. Yeah, because he took up half the room. Yeah. Like, if I trip over one more. crock, I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna lose. If I trip over one more crock the size of a canoe, I'm gonna lose it. Oh, my gosh.

Why are these here? Why are these here? Catch me on the wrong day? I'm starting so many fights over that one shoe. Oh, absolutely. And you said crock, and this is not sponsored by crocs. So we love crocs. I was gonna say crocs.

He has so many crocs and they're just everywhere. But he leaves it and then he's just like, oh, like, no. Yeah, you know how like. I think that's cute. Like, I think part of that is like, it's endearing stuff. Because he gets, again, self-aware. Yeah. But I just think I call my boyfriend's mind a shredder.

So, like, if it's not important, gone, gone forever. Selective hearing is how I'll selective memory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of that. He loves, he loves to help me around the house, like wash clothes, like, wash dishes, all the kind of stuff. In fact, he cooks all the time.

He doesn't like when I cook. That's a true fact. He doesn't like when I cook. He's like, I don't like when you do it. Oh, no. Okay, yeah. Twist my arm. Yeah, literally.

That's fine. so interesting. The one thing I will call out my parents on this, I will say, my dad, I don't know if he has had like an issue with dishwashers in the past, but like he truly will have an issue with like he doesn't know. Like these enemies with them?

He like doesn't. He just doesn't the what he'll clean. He'll do everything. He cleans up. But when he puts stuff into the dishwasher, I have a feeling he doesn't do it right so that he doesn't have to do it. It's actually hilarious. And like, oh, very much so. And I think that is a very prime example of where all works and

progress. But I do think in a certain way, like, what, like, what were the, like, what were the top comments on, was it coming from people on that video that were just like, I mean, like, I think it was mostly women who were like, yeah, like we've been new. Absolutely. Like this top one says, which leads to the women infantilizing the man and therefore lose attraction to him because she's not attracted to a child, which, yeah, that's a good point. I don't, I, this is something I actually talked about the other day, but like, when, sometimes when I make videos, I always say men. And sometimes people go, girl, you mean boys. Like, these are not men.

I go, no, with all the respect in the world, I meant men. That's what I meant. They're men. And I said, yeah, infantilizing them like that excuses them of the behavior because they're like, oh, they're just not mature yet. Oh, yeah. I said, old enough to fight in a war, old enough to know. So like, old enough to pay taxes, old enough to know.

My most controversial video that I made was a stitch with this one woman. And again, you know, we've talked about this. Like, I don't like to, like, stitch women and queer people and people of color. Like for me, I'm just like I don't like we, that happens to people a lot. But this one encounter, this person was like, um, saying something that was about like the way that men can be very like violent in relationships and like not know how to like posit their feelings and was infantilizing them being like, men need time to think. And I was like, no, children need time. It was like, it was also like more about like needing time to like step aside before acting.

And I'm like, are you talking about a seven year old? Or a grown. ass man. You're talking with someone in the 30s? I'm so sorry, sure. Let's be very like, let's celebrate. Aware of space and let's also be like, yeah, let's validate the fact that like, especially men who are not taught to be emotional, like oftentimes, fair, don't know how to react. However, let's not make this into like, they don't know any better.

Like you're 35. You've had many years to like get to this point. To figure out some samples of self-control. No, yeah, I say that all the time. That's my most controversial. Well, then I always think, too, that a lot of times. when they talk about stuff like that, I'm like, let's stop pretending like you actually care

about the problems that men suffer at the hands of patriarchy. That's not what you care about. You care about excusing the misogyny. There's a difference. So that's why I'm like, if they are old enough to go fight in a war for this country, then they're old enough to know that you shouldn't hit women. Yeah.

I feel like that's pretty. Yeah. I think that's a pretty, yeah, that's the bottom of the barrel. I think basic human respect is probably at the younger years. And it's the pick me people that always post those first video. So there's what it is. Well, and that's why I always think infantilizing them.

That's why I always say men. I'm like, no, I'm said when I meant what I said. I meant men. Like, no, I don't stitch boys. What are you talking about? Yeah, no, 100%. And that's the other thing, too, is there's always like literal children in my comment section. I ignore.

I'm like, if you're a child, I mean, oftentimes I think it's really funny because like they just want that attention in many ways. But I'm just like, you know what you are. I can't believe you took the time to reply. I know. And I'm just like, listen, I can make time. but I think part of it is also like I would rather eviscerate a grown ass man. Same. Than like, I don't know.

I say that all the time about like infantilizing them. Again, it's excusing them of the behavior. It's not holding them accountable. Yeah. And it's very, again, if we're talking about intersexuality and nuance, it's very different than also being aware of the fact that we live in a society where men are not taught to like healthfully like deal with their emotions and like, I get it. But here's, can I be very honest?

If we're talking about mental health awareness in many ways, like I'm going to to prioritize the mental health of like the people who are most marginalized in the society first before a white man. I'm so sorry. Like I, not that it's not important in many ways. I'm just, I think at the end of the day for me, my platform, like I was looking at my analytics the other day because someone said, someone commented like your content is polarizing. And I was like, good. I was like 93% of my followers are women and like gays and days. And I'm just like, if men come in a platform and they enjoy it, great, welcome. You're absolutely. but when they start commenting and saying stuff,

I'm like, you have to be very, you have to understand what space you're in right now. Like, this is not for you. You're a guest in this house. Yeah, like this is not. Oh, that is the, like, this isn't for you. Act right, or you're getting kicked out is what I always say.

Like, I made a video once telling people like, reserve my tag for the important stuff, for the big stuff, for the big cahoas. I have bigger fish to fry. Don't tag me in thirst traps. Although we hate them, collectively, they're not hurting anybody. Yeah, that is such a good.

way to put it. They're not hurting anyone. Yeah, they're just cringy to watch. Except for, oh my God, that one that you did of that guy who's like flexing so hard, he was about to like, like, like, poopy his pants. And it was something about like, obviously like fat women and like something that was just like, these fitness trainers are on another level. I put like, like, you want to talk about mental. Yeah. Oh my God. Delusional podcasters. And these like the gym. fitness. Someone asked me once, who's worse? Why are they always Australian? I'm so, I love Australia. I'm like, it's always these like, you want to know something else funny? Some white kid called me a racist, right? And then someone

said, why, why would you say that? And he goes towards Australian men. Not a race, babe. Cut the cameras. That's not a rice, babe. Oh. You know what they are? A virus. They're not a race. They're a virus. But then people actually think. think that. And I, and I truly was like, I just said, what's in the water in Australia? Why are so many of you so terrible? Do you know how many Australian women? I have a huge fan base on Australia. Do you know how many Australian women were like, they are so bad here. It's so bad here. Why? I don't know. Someone

doing anthropological study on why it's so bad over there. But then also I've, you know, I've, I've met many Australians who are phenomenal. Yeah, saying we're not making generalizations in many ways, yeah. But I will say in science, but it's also, um, it's very direct. Like, I think sometimes what happens is like they'll say like, you know, F word, gay person, but like very like intentionally. And then I'm like, oh, and they're like what? And I'm like, that's or like, oh my God, like the word, I'm going to be careful. Anyway, but I just think it's funny that like in general when you have this level of like self-awareness, I'm like, oh, you know you're saying something that's problematic and racist.

And you're cool. And that's cool with that. Verses, I think a lot of the times too, with a lot of content. as I see on TikTok the second you stitch it, taken down. Yeah. Like erasing tweets. Like truly being like versus like, no, I'm going to say it. Like I'm just like, huh, okay.

That's a different level of something that I've never really like to be. Yeah, I always wonder like why the patience is always afforded to the men. I know the answer. I just wonder why it's still that way. Oh, yeah. Especially with me. But, you know, I digress. This next comment says weaponized incompetence.

You send your man to buy. say huggy's diaper size five and he brings pamper's size one so he isn't sent again I mean that's a good point but that's also your baby yeah so you don't know the size of you're a baby's diaper that's weird yeah also brands are tough also and let me give you another example of how like it's possible for men to not be like that because men are like oh men are like that wrong yeah wrong you're wrong and they always leave out gay men yeah always leave out trans men yeah absolutely yeah so because again No intersection of me whatsoever.

No. They know the word now, but they don't get what it means. Yeah, I'll give you an example. My boyfriend, one time I really needed tampons, went to the store, got me the exact tampon I asked for. Tampons. He doesn't use them. He doesn't see them.

He doesn't interact with them. I told him, this is the exact one I need. I sent him a picture of it, and he bought me two boxes. And it could be that easy. Yeah, truly. And life could truly be that easy. Genuinely and not dramatic. And not, I'm in the tampon section.

I don't think I'm like a girl. Like, shut up. Yeah, you buy those. They're going to be like, what is that guy using those? Like, dude, like he's going to. That guy's putting tampons up his. Oh, my, literally. What do you think he's, what do you think he's doing with them?

Literally. Yeah, my boyfriend does that for me. He also, this is so opt-topic, but like, not really, because it's on the subject of period care. But he'll, he'll, sometimes he'll get me, like, new underwear or whatever. Yeah. You know, like, get the full, like, full butt one. He calls them full butts.

I got you. that and have him be creative direct. He tells me I got to the fool butts because I know those are better. See, endearing, very sweet. It's not and it's and he's trying his best and men can really do this like that's my other thing too. It takes very little. It really does. But I also think part of it too is like you have to want to make an effort. Exactly. That's what I think about in many cases. It's like goes back to your point. Some like with men like in general in the case of these men that are just like you truly just are homophobic, you hate women, like you are racist, like in some ways we're talking about like white cis straight men. You don't want to make an effort. But I will say, I, especially

as someone who like navigates gender very differently, I've had, you know, in my DMs, like women and men who like don't agree or like don't understand something that I'm saying, who genuinely want to learn. And then I have to be like, okay, like I'm interested. Like, am I going to give this person the time of day or not? Like I had this like ongoing fight with this guy in my DMs and he just kept going on about how, again, what I was saying was really divisive in terms of like talking about like queer people or some note.

And I was just like, what are you not getting? Because I also saw him posting like mutual aid organizations and stuff. And I was like maybe there's just something about like the intersectionality that you're not getting. And we talked about it. And he truly understood it. And I was like, great, amazing. Like we're not going to be friends, but like that was fine. You know what I mean?

But that's okay. But that's okay. But see for them to say, because I'm sure they tell you the same thing. They tell me that too. Like you're just unwilling to have the conversation. I'm unwilling to have the conversation with a very specific person. I will have the conversation with someone who's open to learning. I've had it many times.

My own boyfriend has asked me questions before and I've explained it to him. I've asked my sister before. Can you explain this to me? I just want to be a better ally. I want to be better, more educated and aware because that's the point is to become a better person. Everybody makes mistakes. It's almost like with pronouns too. With pronouns I always find because I sort of, I feel like there's a lot of people who are very tied to the

pronouns being a true manifestation of their identity, which I think is super important. And I think really, for me, it's not so much. So I think, like, for example, I use a he and they pronouns. And first of all, people are like, but I thought you were non-binary. And I'm like, well, I think, that's fair. I understand the confusion. But I think part of it is like, I don't identify with what you're seeing. Like in many ways, like, when people try and misgender me, I'm like, you literally can't.

Like, I'm like, I, because I'm not going to let you. Because it's not about the word. It's not about the pronoun. I'm seeing and experiencing something different than you're seeing. And if you're seeing something that doesn't align with what I'm saying, I have control to be like, I don't, that's fine. I'm not choosing to react to that. Like, like we.

Or fight with you about it. 100%. 100%. It's just, that's the case. But I think, you know, again, it depends because when we are talking about pronouns, we always want to, but again, I've made mistakes. I've like learned about people's identities and like, oh, shoot. And then sometimes when people like use he pronouns for me and they think they screw up,

I'm like, no, no, you're good. Like, I use he pronouns. Yeah. And I still identify in a song. So like it's all good. I think again, it's part of learning. And it's all like up to that person. Yeah, exactly. And then as long as you respect what they want to want, that's all that matters. It takes very little. Like when people are saying they don't want to have to give up certain words or they don't want to have to use pronouns like the proper ones. I always think you have to be out of your mind with the bigotry for that to be a hindrance on your life. Oh my gosh. That interview. How often are you doing that? That interview with I don't even know his name where he was like, you don't get your own pronouns. It's like you don't get your own. prepositions. I wanted to be like, are you prepositions? I was like, first of all, for a sec. Second of all, do you know what you're saying? I almost wanted to stitch that video and tag that person and be like, you know what? You're right. Respecting people's pronouns is crazy. It's almost

as crazy as when people change their last names after signing a marriage document and respecting that. What's the difference? Truly what is the difference. of their cis heterosexual partner. Because it, yeah, it upholds the patriarchy. That's true because it's man and girl. It's not about wanting to learn people's pronouns or respecting them. It's literally you don't want to.

That's why I said, you had to go out of your mind with the misgendering for that to be a problem. The fact that I get misgendered before a dog does is like very disturbing to me. Well, like, how often do you see, like, these same dudes, like if you called their like baby or their dog, like, oh, what a cute girl. It's a boy.

Knives out. Like, you just misgendered. I'm like, I'm, your dog. Truly, like, let's bring that energy into humans, but you don't care. Again, it truly is you don't actually care. It's not about it being hard. We do it all the time. People change their legal names.

And we just, without an eye, are like, yep, this is like, Mrs. This is like, misses this person instead of misses that person. Yeah, that's like, like, famous, like, celebrities or like, the one I can think of off the top of my head is, like, a football player. And his name, I, I think his name was Chad. Johnson, but he changed his last name to Chad Ochosinko because he was number 85. What if I just, I was like, I'm not calling you that. I'm only calling you Chad Johnson from now on.

That's who you really are. Oh, that's what happened. I made a video too that was like, oh, like, I'm not going to respect this person's pronoun. I was like, all right, like, no worries, Dave. Like, you don't have to. He's like, my name's Adam. I'm like, I'm going to call you Dave. According to me.

Does that bother you? Yeah. Does that bother you? According to me, your name's Princess bubble. Exactly. How does it feel? Kanye's had 18 names. I think we can be good with like.

You guys memorize all those. We're good. Yeah. Very quickly. Like hype these guys, like know every single nickname that he has. I think we can learn they them. Yeah,

truly I think we can make that. You can make room in there, I'm sure. A little bit. I'm sure. Okay, this next one says. And it builds resentment

leading to divorce, ending the relationship. However, most guys will think it ended because of nothing. Yeah, that's true. I mean, like,

I mean, if you're a terrible partner, odds are, they're going to wise up and leave. I don't even know if that's a gender thing. Like, to me, that's more about literally being

a partner that is portraying that. But in this particular case, I think they're talking about cis straight men. Yeah, it really is. Because they're like, she's got it. And also this idea that like, I don't know, have you seen your own mother do this? Is that playing a role into it?

Like, potentially? I think so. I think so, too. Infantilizing them from birth, like, until they're like, however old, like 21, 22. Absolutely. And then you're like, these cis straight men are literally,

it's gaslighting. I mean, it's another, it's literally a way of gaslighting your point. partner into being like, I can't do these feminine things. Like put a dish in a sink. That's for girls. Okay. Okay.

Washing dishes? Okay. That's for girls. Okay. Okay. This next one says, I clean the house for you. Um, no, you live here too. You clean the house.

Do you need a cookie? That's funny. That's so funny. See, women are funny. I don't care on anybody says. I love that. That's so funny. It's true.

Just like when they say, um, come get your kids or like, like, men say that to women or if men watch the kids by themselves it's babysitting if women watch the kids it's like taking care of their child I'm like you gave birth to that person too fully were involved in this so that's kind of on you also yeah that's so I love that comment that's no you just clean the house very true snaps for you okay so that's gonna do it for this episode of the comment section show I want to thank my wonderful amazing guest serious I adore you Feeling you so much. I love you so much. You're truly you're probably the one influencer I talk to the most. I think so. All the time.

I also feel like one of my chaotic traits is just I will FaceTime Drew with no warning. I literally will just be like, are you available? And I know it's chaotic. And again, the Gemini and me, but I love it. I love it. I live for it, honestly. I adore you. I love you so much.

I'm so happy you came. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. Thank you for teaching us so much. I'm so happy. It's a learning experience. It is. have a lot to share.

You and your dad. Next podcast. We're going to do the next episode with him in. Love that. Where can everybody find you? You can find me on TikTok and on Instagram at Syrus, Facy, C-Y-R-U-S-V-E-Y-S-I, and on billboards to come. Oh, love it.

And campaigns that are going to be happening. And maybe some together. I would love that. I would absolutely love that. Thank you so much for coming. I adore you. Truly are the best. And thank you all so much for watching today.

For those of you who want to catch new episodes of the comments section show, make sure you tune in to the Pastor Bedtime YouTube channel New episodes drop every Wednesday at 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time and you can stream this also on all streaming services available So iTunes Apple Podcast Amazon everything you can think of all of it under the sun you can stream it there so thank you so much for watching