The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - THE ART OF ROASTING ft. Bob The Drag Queen | Drew Afualo | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 61

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

[video available on Spotify] This week, Drew is joined by the one and only Bob the Drag Queen to discuss one of their favorite pastimes - roasting horrible people. They talk whether Drew should try standup comedy, Bob's celebrity impressions (including Drew), why RuPaul could beat your boyfriend in a fight, Bob's story of a roast that backfired, and so much more! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualoBob: IG / TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You can meet RuPaul? No, but I know she's tall. 6-4. Damn, that's how I told my boyfriend is. Yeah. RuPaul could beat up your boyfriend. I'm sure. I believe it.

RuPaul is 62 years off. She would beat the brakes off my boyfriend. RuPaul's barely beating bone density. Okay. Everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your fave. Everybody knows me. Who cares about me? On to everyone's favorite part of every episode, the wonderful, amazing guest.

Today I have the iconic, the legendary. Bob the drag queen I feel really privileged to be here at this I really feel like this is the very early stages of a very iconic career I really do like I'm going to be like you're making me blush

I'm going to be like you know I did the comment section yeah you're going to use me and like now she's on like the you know now the Emmy Award winning hit talk show there's a gap in in talk

because Wendy just left. I know. And also it's... Shoes to fill. Also, and also it's changing now. So, like, you know, television is... They wouldn't replace Wendy with something like Wendy. Yeah, because there's only one Wendy.

But then you remember my favorite clip with Wendy when we were going, well, I would ask you all respect my privacy, but I don't respect people's privacy. I know when she's crying? Yeah. Boo-hooing. I don't respect people's privacy. And you know what? She's so real for that.

She's so real for that. Oh, yeah. I respect her for it, honestly. I like, I like death to all of them. Wendy Wins is a meme machine. She's a biteable. Clap if you think she should suffer. That's my name ever know.

Clap if you think she should suffer. And she coined Dula Peep. Dula Peep. She's iconic for Dula Peep. I never referred to her as Dulepa anymore. She's another tall lady. Yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah. Wim's is about 511, 510. The tall lady, Tara Banks. Yeah. Well, that makes sense to me because she's a model too. Megan V. Stallion. Yes, that I know. She is the stallion.

Yeah. Taylor Swift. that I knew I just saw her at a party she was in I Tanya Oh Margo Robbie No the other one She plays her mom

Allison Janie She's like six feet tall Damn I was at a party And we were looking I was like we were looking In each other's eyes I was like this is a

She was on the dance floor All night like twisted Going crazy Oh I bet You know when I went to When I was at the Oscars recently I saw Nicole Kidman She's tall

Yeah And she was walks with Keith Urban, he's not tall. And I said, you better work, bitch. Yeah, you know what I really? The height difference is stark between them. When you get to Hollywood, listen to me, you're going to realize that a lot of the women are tall and a lot of the men are not.

They are tiny. They're teeny tiny. I was just saying that to my sister the other day. I was like, I think what would shock you is how small people are. Like when you meet them and whether it's like A-list or like influencer or anyone in between, they're all so small. You remember, Paul? No, but I know she's tall.

four. Damn, that's what my boyfriend is. Yeah. RuPaul can beat up your boyfriend. I'm sure. I believe it. RuPaul is 62 years old. She would beat the breaks off my boyfriend. She would beat the brakes off my boyfriend. It's okay. She would beat the shit out of my boyfriend. It's okay. He would say that too.

He'd admit it. He'd be real. I can't even imagine RuPaul. She doesn't have a violent. I don't have a violent bone in my body. I couldn't imagine myself. I would say me either. Now that I'm older, when I was younger, I was a lot more unhinged. I would say. You've been in a fight? What's the last time you're in like a fight fight, like hit someone? I don't even remember, to be honest.

I heard a slap come from her dressing room this morning. And then, and then her. And it's all, you shushed, my crew. You'll be quiet. You're legally obligated. And a guy walked out and said, I should have put sugar in a car. I shouldn't have put sugar in. When you say that to me, I'm like, legally you're not allowed to ask me that.

Then the camera just cuts and I come back and I'm like, buttoned up and I'm like, anyway, moving on. I'm so sorry, I have a neck brace on. I think the last time I got into a physical altercation, I was doing a drag show. This is maybe maybe like six years ago I was doing a drag show and this guy jumped up and grabbed me. During my show.

Wait, I think I saw that on TikTok. This guy wouldn't let me go and I was like. Like out of like adoration or? No, it was, I don't know what it was called up, but I know he would not let me go. And just weird ocean. And yeah, it was just him being weird and he was drunk. That's the booze. It's always boozed.

Were you doing like stand-up or were you performing? I was lip-sinking. Okay, yeah. So I didn't even have the microphone. So I wasn't like able to be, I wasn't, people couldn't hear me. So it was just me and this guy going back and forth while the song was playing. Did they think it was part of the bit? No.

No, because I was clearly unhappy. Yeah. And I was like, like, get off me, get off me. And then I was, him and her like struggling. And then you just see me like take him down, which I didn't want to. As you should. I didn't want to. I really, I don't see myself as like a fighter.

Have you ever heard that audio that's like, it's like, yeah. And it's like, yeah, fucking get his ass, pussy. Like that, that would be me. If I was watching you. Yeah. Like, I'm encouraging the violence, you know what I mean? I love that. Because I think men are creepy weirdos at all times.

So I feel like if you give me a chance to hit you, I'm going to. I'm really bad at impersonations, but I do them all the time. And I know, he just did one for us. For about two minutes. No one knew who it was. No one knew. They're always, they're always, they're always, they're all the time. Always so bad.

Has anyone been working on a Drew impersonation? Yes, to an extent, I think. It's supposed to the laugh, right? Yeah, it's the laugh. It's also, like, the nails and the lashes, like, I don't know, it gets a little racist. I think if they try to impersonate it. And then a lot of times it comes off as the wrong race.

It's not even mine. You know what I mean? So, yeah. They're like acting black. Yeah, I think they're very, exactly. My name, Drew. Exactly. And that's not even how I talk.

So I'm like, well, wrong race. Also racist, you know. If I was going to do a Drew, I would start with a raspberry with a... Oh, yeah, that, the middle finger... I can't do that laugh. That wasn't bad. That's pretty good. That was better than your Joan Rivers.

You know, my Joan Rivers is not good. It's bad. And then you all have to see it because you're going to be like, whoa, what is it? And it's just me going. It's just a one word of presentation. It's to be going, Melissa. And that could. be Wendy Williams or that could be

Barack Obama. Anyone. That could be anyone. Another tall one. Malia Obama, 6-1. That I did know. Love. I love a tall woman. Malia B. Stallion. Oh, the taller, the better. I love it. Brigitte Nilsson?

Brigitte Nilsson is, oh, wasn't she a model, though? Yeah. Yeah. So that makes sense. Well, I feel like when they're models, I'm like, oh, well, that makes sense. Well, duh. That you're tall. Yeah.

As a model myself, I feel like I can say that. You know, I mean, if you've been paid, If someone's baby, take your picture, you're a model. Don't tell me that. I'll put it on my resume. Don't on there. Listen, it is your resume. You put whatever you want on your...

I know. They get so... Men get so mad when I... If I were deferred to myself as a model, they'd be like, yeah, right. Since we're new models, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean? So, I don't know that I'm interviewing, you know? No, that's all right.

There was this... Last night, I got caught up in a TikTok trap. Like fight? No, no, kind of. Oh, my God, they're gonna get rid of... Are they gonna shut... You remember they're going to... I don't know.

The CEO TikTok is now over it, over in D.C., like... I know. Pleading his case. I know. I got caught up on debate TikTok. Really? But like live debate TikTok. Like people on live?

Which is like on live, green screen. Oh, prove me wrong. God doesn't exist. Prove me wrong. Yeah, yeah. So I got caught up on debate TikTok and that is a... That is a... Because the TikTok is like...

TikTok is kind of like... PIP my ride. You remember Pip my ride? When you put my ride, you were like, and, you know, this is my goldfish. I love my goldfish. And then when Exhibit gives you a car back, he's like, and now your entire seat is a fish bowl.

There's 96 goldfish in the fish bowl, in your seat, and also your steering was replaced by real fish. It makes sushi for you, all made of goldfish. Yeah. It's just like extreme home makeover. Yeah. You mentioned one time you used to like horses, and then they give you an equestrian thing.

named room. Literally. Now I got to live in this. Now your bed is shaped like a horse. And you're like, this is wild. TikTok, I went to like one debate TikTok and now I and now your home

is a debate. Like TikTok's like, oh, I see you like to but you like to argue. So now it's all you'll have. Then I got into this one argument last night and it was like, it was like wild. It was just wild. What was the topic?

The topic was it was transphobia. Got you. But I was on the TikTok of someone who was exhibiting some characteristics of transphobia, my best friend taught me to stop saying that people are things, but they have certain experiences. My friend, shout out of Pepperment for teaching me that in life.

But they were showing some transphobic behavior. And I was like trying to talk, but like, have you ever done one of these live debates before? No. Don't do them. Don't do them. It's a trap. I went live one time on TikTok,

and that was before I like really, really took off. And it was filled with nothing but love. now it would be a cesspool bitch, it would be a swamp. I'd be trudging through the trenches if I did alive now. Because all the men who hate follow me would find me and it would just be ranted. They're probably real, I would venture to say that all the guys who hate follow you are really attracted to you. Yeah, absolutely.

They are turned on. They hate hearing it, but it's true. They want a big lady to like bully them around. They want you to step on them. You know, that's why I stopped doing cameo. Oh, were they like asking you like? Yeah, they started out. They started asking me to, like, berate them for money.

Like, can you tell me, can you tell me I'm a bad boy? Yeah, they want that. And I said, for $35, no. Yeah, oh, yeah, right? Oh, no. Yeah. Out of, I had, like, several zeros on the end of that. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the thing, all the ones, they're doing it to get a reaction out of you, because especially once you drop that you're over six feet, they're like, oh. Sorry, the Drew's mom is here. I feel so bad about doing that. She's seen worse here. But they want you to fucking step on them. They do. Have you ever been asked to, they want, if, yeah.

They want it. I've been asked, yeah. Yeah. I've been emailed too. I've been asked that too about, like, my boyfriend as well. Like, they would like both of us to do it to them. Yeah, he's huge too. Yeah, he's six four.

So. Yeah. And he's like, he's like what they perceive as like an alpha man, like a strong, whatever the that means to them. So they like, they've asked for both of us to do things to like to, like to berate them or whatever. And I'm like. You know, they want you sit on. They don't want to breathe or like, don't get up until I'm most.

Not enough money in the world. Yeah. I'm going to need a lot more money and a lot more convincing. But that's not enough. That's why I said that's why I stopped doing cameo. They ruined it for everyone. I was like, oh, and I'm done. Oh, turn off.

Because, you know, I mean, when I used to tip around New York City and drag, especially when I'm all done up with hair and everything, I'm very big. Especially when I'm like a big platform. Yeah, like a really tall shit. You can see the gleam in their eyes when they... It does something to them. They're like...

Stir something. Yeah, for sure. That they have not touched or... It's probably some deep mommy issues. I bet. I'm like, you didn't come out of my coochie. You know, my responsibility. You know, if you have mummy issues and if you...

Listen, I'm not king shaming. If that's your kink... That's cool. But you can't be awful and also exhibit those behaviors. You know what I mean? Like, you can't be outwardly awful and then also have those deep see... That's probably part of the kink. Yeah, that's true.

Part of it, though, I also think is, like, a fetish. Like, they fetishize me a lot, which I'm sure they do, obviously they do too. For sure. They fetishize, like, minority people in general who are, like, big, aggressive, mean. Like, that's how they describe me. I'm always like, well. Sometimes I'm like, I am big aggressive of me. What I'm...

Hot me. I was like... Mine pays the bills. That's yours? Exactly. I didn't think so. Speaking of, though, which we're kind of already doing, but you're also really known for being really good at roasting people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Making fun of people. Yeah, for sure. You're like an icon, a legend. Also doing it in the drag world, you're like an Olympic level, I feel like. If you could do it in the drag world, I feel like you're, you could do it to anybody. Yeah, I'm pretty good at roasting. Even to the point where, like, a lot of the times, there was this tour called The Haders Rost

where the drag queens all get together and, like, do a track. traveling roast show. Even when I wasn't doing the show. To each other or to like audience. To each other. Oh, fun. And even when, even when I wasn't doing the show,

queens would pay me to write their roast for them. Damn, really? That's tea bitch. I refer, I remember maybe like three or four different drag queens. I love that because you're just that good. Because, yeah, I mean, I'm really clever. You know, I think it was when I was really young,

I realized that I was good at making funny people because I, well, I had to. So I was, I've been really tall. I've been the same height since I was in seventh grade. I've not grown an inch since seventh grade. But also, bear in mind, I was 125 pounds. If you don't know, 6-2-125 is, I mean, that is as skinny as you can be. I'm like 240 right now.

So imagine if I was 115 pounds lighter. You probably look a lot taller. Yeah, but I was like, but I looked frail. I was such a target. I was a full head and shoulders above everyone in my school I had this big afro and I was like I was dark skin I did go to all black school

so it wasn't like I wasn't the only white kid there but because I was such a target and I was so gay I had to let people realize like if you make fun of me you will not walk away unscathed like if you make fun of me you're going to lose these hands are rated E forever long you're like you don't want to Jones with Caldwell

you're not want to try to roast me because like I will one thing I'm really good at giving a crowd I will like gather a crowd it will not be done in privacy. The pageantry. Oh yeah. It's a show. Yeah, I'm getting everyone to gather around. We're all gather around and I'm going to go by school. So we love to, ooh!

Oh! Oh! Also getting made fun of in front of a crowd like that. There's no coming back from it. Oh, yeah. If you can't survive, you're not making it out. So it's a skill that I learned pretty, maybe around, I would say starting in like maybe seventh grade. So you're like 6-2 and 7th grade? Yeah. Damn.

Who are really horrible? This is really bad. This is really bad. This is a bad. This is horrible. I don't think I've ever told this story. Okay. I mean, this is the... I won't allow. This is a comment section exclusive. Okay, let's do it. I'm forewarning you. This is horrible. Okay. This might not even make the cut.

I'm ready. I had just moved to Atlanta in seventh grade and this guy was like just laying into me, making fun of me for being gay and faggity and this, that, and the other. It just would not, would not leave me alone. Would not leave me alone. Like, kept seeking you out? Yeah, you know, when you're in class, you're trapped. Sometimes when you're in the class, you're trapped with your bully five days a week for an hour. Yeah, literally. All those days.

And when I was like, I've had it. I'm like, so I just like, I just looked over him and he had this. This, I'm telling you, don't laugh at this. It's not, I'm telling you, this really isn't funny. Okay. This massive pimple. It was huge on his forehead. And I let him have it.

I read him down. and he had some other acne too with this one huge and I was like like laying into him on this pimple I called it his cousin I said he had paid taxes I said his people had free lunch I said that his pimple had section 8 I said his pimple was section 8 housing I was going in on this pimple going in and then he like shut down and got like really quiet and like and then the pimple ended up being and then he isn't that crazy isn't that crazy so I felt guilty, but I was in seventh grade. And I was like, but he, so I have not

ever told that story anywhere because I felt so horrible about it. And but I don't think he knew that it was a at the time. And anyway, it's so funny. It's not funny. But it is an insane is that an insane story. It's insane, right?

You're right. That's insane. But I didn't know what to do. I was defending myself because, I mean, every day for a month, this guy had nicknames for me. Listen, you don't got to justify it to me. No judgment. Thank you. No judgment.

And I'm not looking to be like a vindic-I'm not looking to like abdicate myself or, you know, write myself in wrongs. Yeah, absolutely. But I think I need, I think I needed to say it out loud. And I can't apologize to him because, and those of you who are just listening, you need to just go watch the episode because I'm mouting it because the story is so horrible. That's pretty bad. Horrible. That's pretty bad. Anyway.

I'm speechless. Yeah, it's wild. I don't have anything like that. It was one of the wildest things. Did it happen soon after that? The next year. Because he came back. I thought you were going to say like five years.

No, no, no. The next year, because we had the school year. Because I came like, it was toward the end of the school year. He started, did I arrive during the school year in seventh grade? No, I started. I started the whole year there. And I came back the next year. We came back.

He was in bad shape. But he was still an asshole. And what's the T on that? I mean, it's because who you are is who you are. And your circle. is create you and having something bad happen to you or not bad. I don't think that that is bad, but having afflictions

doesn't make you a better person. You know, if you're a monster and you end up like, you know, breaking your legs, you're just a monster with a broken leg. You know what I mean? You're just an asshole with a broken leg, so he's kept, but I didn't make fun of him anymore, but yeah, he was

yeah. Anyway, where did you, where is this Pier 1 imports? Where is this from? Because this is, is this Or it's like an Etsy thing. It's fake. I know that. You're right.

That is pretty bad. Yeah, it's bad. I did not expect that to go about that. I know. No one ever does. I was shocked. You just gagged me. Oh, yeah.

Holy shit. Where do I even go from there? You're talking about roasting. Yeah, okay. Roasting. Roasting. You know what makes a good roast. Um, seasoning, vegetables.

I was going to ask you though, what's your, like, what would you say is like your, your go-to when you're trying to roast someone, whether it's, like, we'll do two categories, like, a friend, like, something that you love, and then someone that you, like, hate, someone that's just awful. Well, I think that, um, with a roast, if it's, like, a show, if it's an actual show, because I, I tend to roast people that I, you know, really, really appreciate. Yeah. And you, it's really always fun when you take something and you, if people don't see the bit coming from a mile away, that's when you usually get the best reaction. Yeah, that's true. When they don't, when they didn't realize that the joke was going to go in the direction that it went. Yeah. And if you listen to my, my podcast is sibling rivalry.

Mm-hmm. And me and my best friend are constantly roasting each other. And Monet Exchange is I mean it's silly stuff like from the fact that like Monet Exchange One day I just realized that we Didn't grow up in the same tax bracket I didn't realize that Monet grew up rich and I grew up poor And I had but I just thought that we both grew up poor

I don't know why You have so much in common And then I realized that Monet is like Grew up like this fucking rich kid And I was like this is crazy So now the fans are started commenting and stuff like Monet called one, Monet's mom called her in the podcast one time

and then, and then the fans were like, you know, you should answer, the comments were like, answer your mom was trying to tell you that the maid fell from the chandelier. And I don't know why they just tickled me so much because

I think maybe that was my defense mechanism and being like, I did not realize that we, like it was like, it was giving, you know, rich dad, poor dad kind of thing. And I was the...

Your dynamic. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I love, I love to subvert it. I love to take a joke and kind of spin it. And that's what makes a roast, like an actual roast show, in my opinion what makes it great,

is that everyone there is in on it. Yeah. It is consensual. Yeah, they've all consented to it. Everyone in the audience has agreed to watch it, and the people in the, or on the dais have agreed, they're like, I'm going to let you say really horrible things about me that normally wouldn't be said in other places.

Yeah. But it is consensual. That's why I love for the sake of entertainment. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I think roast are fun. Yeah. There is stuff I wouldn't say.

There are stuff I say in a roast that I would not say to someone out in the streets. Yeah, or just like if you're having casual conversation or if it's like a regular interview or any interaction or anything like that. Yeah, you wouldn't bring it up. I feel that. Like typically speaking, if I'm talking, if I'm like, if me and my friends make fun of each other, I would never make fun of my friends' bodies. Well, now, I used to do this when I was younger, but I've just, I've grown over the years. I wouldn't make fun of your, but I wouldn't make fun of something you can't change in the next like 30 minutes. I mean, I make fun of your outfit.

I make fun of like a hair choice you made. Not like, not even like a hair. If you got like a horrible haircut, I'm like, I'll wait until it grows out. And then once it grows out, I'll be like, you remember the time? Yeah, you remember the time you have the bangs from, you know, the Yolande Fissure bangs, that kind of thing. But I won't do it in the moment. So choices, they made things they say. They're like limits that you have.

Yeah. I feel that. Exactly. I've like. But at a roast, I will. Yeah. Because we're, we're open game. We've agreed.

Yeah. I feel that. Yeah, there's like, I've had men. See, my thing with, like, obviously my whole platform is like roasting terrible shithead dudes. But like there every time it's like, it's consensual to an extent because you chose to make fun of someone else. So I'm assuming that you're cool with being made fun of. And a lot of times when I make fun of them, they get mad at me because they're like, well, that's just so mean. That's body shaming.

And I'm like, well, it wasn't body shaming when you did it, but it's body shaming when I do it. So then they'll make fun of my body and what I look like. And they're like, what if I said this about you? I don't care. You said whatever you want about me. You go first, and then I'll go second. You just really find it with it. They go, that's body shame.

And you go, yeah. Your body's ashamed. You should be ashamed. You should be ashamed. Your body's a mess. I just feel like if you're so open to commenting on other people's bodies with no provocation,

like they didn't bother you, they didn't do anything to you. I figure you're cool with being commented on too. Well, it's good for the goose is good for the gander. If you're going to call, if you're going to call someone fat online, especially as if it's an insult. The word fat itself is not an insult. If you're using it as a pejorative,

and you're trying to make fun of someone's body, you cannot be shocked when someone makes fun of the fact that you live in L.A., but your headline lives in Riverdale. And this is coming from someone who has the affliction of baldness myself. See? Someone who's bald who's my friend. But I can afford wigs and I wear them.

And what's stopping you? Yeah. What's stopping you? Bigs are I When you know I once had a hairpiece Yeah Yeah I know a barber was really good He does like great hair pieces

You wouldn't even be able to clock it They do it all the time I saw they do that knee surgery too To make you like two inches taller Yeah yeah Well you know The thing about balding is like when you When you lose your hair

You realize that like you have Like this like really short window Where you can fix it And some of us are We like Shem of us We lost I have a further technology Gee, which good.

And when you catch a guy and you get them right in the, right in the ball spot, and he's like, oh, man, this bitch got me. And he knows and he's just mad. He's just like, he's furious. Like he's, because he's like, she got me. There's nothing I can do about it. So he's like, a fat bitch. Fat bitch.

Sometimes I'll tell them to just say that it's thinning, even if it's not. Because they're going to think about that. Oh, yeah. They're going to go in the home and they're going to be like, it's not. spinning. She's crazy. Especially like, no, no, no, like right in these areas. Like, if you look here, it looks, it's giving, it's giving, it's giving, it's giving, it's giving Jack Nicholson in Joker.

But it, but it looks, but it looks, but it looks good on you. It looks honestly on you. Yeah. You tell them, I wish I was as confident as you to rock that. You are so brave. You are so brave. You are so brave to not wear a hat in public. Oh, that's so brave.

I know. I love that you did that. And I think that a lot of guys who are also losing their hair, also that's an important word. Like I guys are also losing their hair, they're going to look up to you and say, I too can leave the house despite how little hair I have. Representation matters. It does. It's nice to see yourself represented in media.

In the media. This is amazing. I bet when you were kid you watched Kai Yu, you were like, that's me. I looked staring down the barrel of the future. There it is. You know what I mean? There is. They can see it so clearly.

But yeah. I mean, there are times like, have I ever roasted someone that I don't care for? I mean, maybe former president, future ex-convict Donald Trump, I probably roasted him a little bit. But outside of that, most of my roasting is typically... Lovingly. Well, professionally. Yeah.

I mean, I have roasted people who I don't necessarily love. Like, I did, I probably... I can say, can I say this? We'll find out. I did the roast of Whitney Cummings. There were, like, a lot of comedians on that day as who I didn't necessarily know. but it was a professional setting where we all agreed where you guys don't really know each other

you don't have a personal like in a personal relationship with them yeah so I will I will roast people that I don't necessarily love but I do have a professional respect for them in their craft I feel that yeah I think like too with with roasting I've told people this before because some people have asked me like how do I get good or fast like quick at like roasting

and I was like honestly I think reps to be honest like just consistently I've done it since like you were when you were younger just like we do not as old as you not quite like that not quite like that

but I did that also it's just like getting made fun of all the time and like joking with people all the time but I said more than anything you have to learn how to take a joke like if they

the same way that you dish you have to be able to take it which I think is what they're missing half the time like all the dudes who hey me and want to talk shit about me they cannot take a joke

I'm like I thought we were having a silly goofy time I love to goof, I love to gaff, I love to laugh, you know what I mean? So I thought we were having silly time. Well, the strange thing, too, like, whenever I do one of their roast, like, I really have no qualms with anyone coming for, I mean, whenever I find that, typically speaking, at a roast, roasting someone's physical appearance is a lot less me than roasting their

essence. Yeah. Like, if I make fun of you for being short versus making fun of you for just being who you are. Just being you. Like, it's just because you're you. Yeah. Like, you're... Like, you're...

A bad person. You're exactly... Who you are. That makes sense. One of my favorite... One of my favorite roast I saw was... I can't remember what Roaster was. They got up, and they just read off a bunch of things about the person.

They were like, none of your friends like to be around you. You're a bad person. You don't tip at restaurants. There's a reason why none of your exes talk to you. You won't be invited back to any of your jobs. And they just kind of read all these things off. But it wasn't anything about their physical appearance. And I'm like, damn, bitch, call me bald.

Jesus Christ. That is, damn. My, for me, I feel like the worst they say about me is like, oh, like, well, to me, I, when they say things like, oh, if I, you know, if I had sex with this girl, if I f*** this girl, if I did this, if I did this, if I did this, if I did that, I'm like, I'd rather you call me fat and ugly. Yeah. Don't. It's like, I see you live in fantasy land. Yeah, no. Literally never happen.

Playing a relationship with me, that's the rudest thing you could ever say to me. Oh my God, they're... Cosplaying. And they're doing the whole... Fanfiction. All that. They're fan fictioning with you. Living in it.

Wattpad central. You know what I mean? That is more offensive to me than just calling me fat, ugly bitch. I'd rather you call me that. Yeah, just call me fat. No, that's cool. That's cool. I'm cool with that.

But you saying things about, like, if I was having sex... Stop. Like, why would I ever lay in the same bed as you? I wouldn't even be your lab partner, so... Make it make it make sense, Mary. I wouldn't even hold the door open for you. I love leaning into the microphone to try to make my point more poignant. I think, like, yeah, there's like a level of, there's levels of roasting, too, because I've talked about, sometimes I'll do roasting and I'll make jokes, and sometimes they're like, oh, you left out something super obvious.

But it always does do with their physical appearance. And I'm always like, that's too easy. That's too easy. Calling them short and bald is funny because it bothers them every time. That's the only reason, like, I've said, that's only funny to me because it still bothers you. As soon as it stops bothering you, I'll retire it. I'll take it out of the arsenal. There's my clip of that, there's like a lady in a truck,

and there's a guy standing outside, and he's like yelling at her. And then he's like, late. Is he like berating her? Yeah. Yeah, he's like calling her, you're fat, you're ugly. And she's like, she doesn't even, she just goes, you're literally bald. And yes, I have seen that one. And something in his brain, he's like, he's like, get out of the car.

Get out of the fucking car. You have seen that one. And he like goes. And also the crazy thing is like as if he did not know. It was like she. He's finding out right that minute. It was like she broke the news. And also for like bald guys, this is from, listen, like, bald guys, this is someone from your,

this is from your community. I'm from your community. Like, when you're bald, do you, and you're like doing witchcraft and macramane. and, you know, nonsense to try to cover it up. Do you think we don't see it? But then also, I've never understood the bald people, the bald guys who, man, this is your, up to you.

Where would you want to wear? But who's rocking the horseshoe? Who's, like, how are you getting dressed? You spend all this time putting on a full, you put on the whole suit. Yeah. You buttoned it up. You tied your shirt.

You brushed your teeth, which means you had to look in the mirror. At some point. At some point. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you saw that you have hair here. You saw you have here. And back there, but there's nothing on top.

Did you never think shave that part off? That's insane. My boyfriend says all the time, he's like, let it go. She's gone. Let her go. Become one with the wind and sky. Yeah, literally. Do what I did in the Brazil and let it go.

Burn her ashes and push it out to sea. Or do something. something about it. Go get a toupee. There are some amazing. The ones they glue on your head. There are some amazing hair. People wouldn't even be able to tell from up close.

Yeah, there's even ones I've seen where they like glue it on their head and then they have people pulling it to see them off and it doesn't. I just don't know why you would wear that hairstyle. They're wig down. Doesn't Dr. Phil wear that? Yeah. I mean, he, like.

Maybe that's part of his branding though. He's sitting down in hair and makeup. And then he stands up and then they go final looks, last looks. And he's beat to the. God's like he's got a full face on and then someone looks and goes you look good that person lied to you. No real friends. And they don't like you. No real friends.

Have you watched your show? Yeah, I have. It's so it is a very weird show. It's also not real. Like no part of it is real. It's like reality TV. Honestly like... He's in drag. He's in doctor drag. He's not a doctor. He's cosplaying as a doctor. He's not licensed.

He's not a doctor, yeah. And he by any means. And he just bullies people on the show. It is so, it is very weird. And he, like, starts fights and then, like, watches them unfold. That's, like, kind of what his thing. Yeah, yeah, and then says stuff like, well, listen, doesn't matter how flat you cook a pancake, every pancake still got two sides. And then it says, like, really weird, like southern isms.

And it's like, you're, bitch, you're not Dr. Seuss. You're Dr. Phil. I could say things, too. Yeah, like, all day long. Just because you says that in an intimate, does it, his show needs to be canceled. I'm going to go ahead and say that right now. His show needs to be both there. You're like, if Dr. Phil has one hater, it's me.

And if he has no haters, I'm dead. Like, that's the Phil show. I'm dead. It has to come off the air. It has to. He's making a bag off that, too, which is crazy. Oh, so much money. So much money. And all the people that come off the show that, like, open up later about how he, like, verbally and mentally abused them, both on the show and after the show, I'm like, that's crazy.

I have a Google Drive folder full of roast jokes that I've written. about famous people or just or like over professional things? They're mostly about drag queens. Gotcha. So they're like from gigs from the past. Yeah. And maybe down the line I'll read you some of my

some of my road scouts. Oh, would love that. I would love that. I think too. That's why I told you like if you can roast in the world of drag, I feel like your skin's bulletproof at this point. It's got to be probably.

Yeah, I mean, there's nothing you can say about me that, you know, that would affect you. Yeah. Same. I've said that like I'm sure, I don't know if you get this question a lot because obviously you've made a literal living off of roasting, too, and you currently do now. But do people ever ask you, like, how do you not let things bother you?

How do you not let hate bother you or whatever? I get that question a lot. I guess people do ask sometimes. I would rather them ask that question than people, you know what I really don't like? I'm really even like, excuse me? When people say stuff like, when people call you like brave or like, like, how do you go out there? I'm like What do you mean?

It's like, wow, I love that you put yourself on the internet. And I'm like, yeah, bitch. What do you mean by that? And you don't care people saying, I'm like, wait, you know what? At once in a while someone gets me, I'll catch me off guard. I would never forget this day.

I was at a bar in Seattle, Washington called Our Place. And this guy came up to me and he goes, he goes, you know what I love about you, Bob? I was in a meet and greet. This guy paid to be there. He goes, you know, I love about you? say, what is it? He goes, for you, it's about the performance.

I said, yeah, yeah, I, you know, I focus on performance. Then he goes, you don't care what you look like. I was like, I was like, honestly, you ate with that one. Can I have the room, please? And it's because he thought it was, what made it so crazy, he thought he thought he was giving me the highest company. He goes, you don't care what you look like. You look like this and you go out there with so much confidence and that inspires me.

made it crazy. I was in drag with me. I spent at least two hours getting ready. I don't care what I looked. I looked my absolute best at that point. Honestly, at least so I thought. He gathered.

You know what? I've said that before. I'm like the only, because they're like, has anyone ever said a roast about you that actually like hurt your feelings? And I was like, no, the people who read me the house down

are like the people who love me the most. They'll say the things with such love and adoration and she scalps me, bitch. Oh, yeah. Like every time, I literally had a girl come up to me once with her friend. I forget where I was. I think it's at Disneyland. She comes up.

They're standing behind us. She comes and she's like, oh, my gosh. And she like taps me on the shoulder and turn around with my boyfriend, just two of us. She's like, oh, my God, it's such a big fan. Like, I love your content, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, thank you so much. And she goes, yeah. And, you know, I saw you, but I wasn't sure if it was you.

And I was like, oh, yeah. She goes, yeah, because you're like way prettier in person. And I said, okay. And as she said it. with so much emphasis on way that it caught me off guard. So it's just that like whenever you come on TikTok, it's like it's a jump scare. Yeah, she's like, on TikTok, you look nice.

On TikTok, you're a big thuggo. But in real life, I'm like, wow, that's what she goes, that's literally why I didn't come to you because I was like, that can't be her. Okay. No, for sure. Like such a troll. Yeah.

And in real life, this is like, you know. Yeah, no, for sure. Elaborate more. I want to hear more about how you thought. Oh, they will keep digging. Oh, yeah. So then I was just like, okay, like listening to her. And then she goes,

But yeah. Anyways, my friend told me it was you, and turns out it is. So I was really happy. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. And I was like, thanks. And then her friend goes, yeah, me too. I was telling her. By the way, that was so rude to her friend. And she goes, anyway, sorry about that. And she keeps talking. And her friend goes, well, I didn't mean it that way. Like, that's not what I meant. And I was like, see, I don't want to be part of this conversation anymore. I would like to, I feel like you guys don't need me. I'd like to quote Taylor Swift. I'd like to be excused from this narrative. I'd like if you guys didn't need me for this conversation I feel like you guys don't imagine she took the picture with you and was like oh there's a you right now she's like there it is now I know for sure that's you now I know for sure Kim Chi is a popular

drag queen she's like a she's like a proper drag queen so Kim Chi someone came up to Kimchie at a meet and greet and it was a it was like a fat Mexican person and they came and they said I just want you to know that Valentina makes me proud to be Mexican and you make me proud to be fat and Kim was just looking

and Kim was just so caught off guard because Kim didn't know where this was going you made me proud of it. Kim and the person goes and you make me proud to be fat and then pose for the picture and then pictures Kim being like okay

no for sure that she's like that was never part of Kim's story on like on drag race or anything And Kim was just like, oh. It never is, is it? Kim was like, wow, well, all right. And then she's like. And Kim was just like, yeah, that definitely got it.

That's what I'm saying, like, the worst are the people who love you. The people who love you the most. They're the meanest. But at a, but at a rose, it, it hurts my feeling because I knew what I was signing up for. And I knew what I was getting myself into. And that was the whole goal. And honestly, when you get me with a joke that I've never heard, heard?

Yeah. I love it. Me too. If I'm at a roast and you get me with a joke that I have never heard before, you hit me with, you hit me with something, because if you're going to call me like black or you're going to call me gay, you're going to say I look like a man in drag.

I've heard all of that stuff. But everyone's wants to. It's boring. Yeah, every once in someone gets me with something that's like completely brand new. Same. Same. I did one thing that was like roasting. It was like for Smosh, the YouTubers.

I did like a funeral roast. Yeah. Like where I died in people. were at my funeral and they roasted me and Spencer, like Spencewa he came as like a guest star and he he ate me down like I loved

how like everyone else I think sometimes I think people are afraid to be mean to me because they're afraid of what I will say The retaliation. Yeah like um Do you know Leo Gonzalez on TikTok? Okay you should look him up. He's so funny He does like... I might reckon I'm gonna look at this picture while you talk. I might recognize this picture.

He's a... Leo Gonzalez on TikTok. Yeah he's a comedian but he does a lot of skits and stuff, but he is so funny, and I had him on my show. And the two of us literally roasted each other for like 10 minutes. But he said some of the meanest shit I've ever heard of my life to me. Like, he told me I looked like if I worked in a mall, I looked like I worked at those kiosks in the middle of the mall that sell neon signs. And I was like, bitch.

He's like, you know, like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's why he cracks me up because he says mean shit that like you would never think of that also has nothing to do with looks. Do you know Robin Tran? I don't think so. Robin Tran is a, ironically, she's a trans comedian.

She's a trans comedian. And she, pretty early in her transition, she's a comedian before she publicly transitioned. And then, so she does these roasts that are just like, vicious. I mean, it is just

I mean, it is vicious. She is roasting, down and they come with some pretty, you know, vitriolic stuff as well. Yeah. That's always so lazy to me. Yeah. One of my favorite reads was from Naomi Small.

Naomi Small's had a great read for Derek Barry on our season. She goes because Derek Barry, Naomi Small's like you got to have, listen, if you're on to do this, you have to have thick skin. Yeah. And then and then Derek Barry, yeah, it looks like you have thick skin. And then Naomi says, and you have thin

hair. And then, and then Naomi says, and you have thin hair. The speed with which she said that. It was how fast she said it. It was like Derek Berry didn't even finish the sentence. And Naomi had it locked and loaded. And the worst thing you can do, if you've had like a roast back and forth, once you get the whole room to like laugh at that person,

you lost. You can't win them back. You can't come back. It's hard to win them back at that point. It's impossible. I feel that. I think too, like I would love, I've had people ask me like,

can you go on tour and roast people? And I was like, I mean, I guess, but like, you would have to consent to it. And also, if you're a fan of mine, I don't want to make too much funny. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. When you're known for being funny, people will be like, read me. Yeah. Read me. And I'm like, with no context.

I know. I got to know a little bit about you. Like, I don't know anything, anything about you. Read me. And it just be, even if I'm not just a comment, read me. And I'm like, your profile picture is a. sunset. Like, what am I going to... How can I read you? I know. I've had people be like,

can you roast my boyfriend? I'm like, well, first of all, no. Like, I don't get involved in your interpersonal relationships, because I don't know, because they're like, oh, my ex is awful, blah, blah, blah. And I'll just, like, hype them up. I won't necessarily roast them. But I'm like, I need more context. I can't just do that just because.

You know what I mean? Like, I need to know a little bit more. I need to see some pictures. Did you used to watch the roast on a Comedy Central? Yeah. Did you have any favorites? Um none that aren't canceled I feel like

Not that I can think of off the top of my head Because most comedians are I have been like As being awful people There is a There is a I cannot remember the who I think it was the roast of Alec Baldwin

But it ended up Just being the roast of Anne Coulter That's right Okay I did see that one And Coulter showed up She is who she is They just were when I tell you

Ann Coulter, they would not let this woman breathe. On the neck the entire night. I was like they are riding this bitch hard and putting her up wet. I can't believe she did it to be honest. I can't believe she agreed to be on the dais. It gathered

me. It ended up being her roast. That was one of my favorites. Joan Rivers had a great roast. Oh, I've seen Joan Rivers. The roast of Joan Rivers was good. She's another one who I think she died at the right time. She'd be canceled now. Oh, she'd be fully canceled now. Oh, yeah. I saw the, I saw the Justin Bieber one.

I remember that one. I thought Pete Davidson was really good on that one. He Davidson is brilliant. Yeah, he was really funny. He made a joke about ludicrous on that one. Like, he said, you might remember him from your mom's, now that's what I call music. Yeah. Well, he said, he said, he said, oh, my guy, ludicrous and Snoop Dog, if I was in my 40s, I'd be freaking out.

He's funny. Like, he was really good on that one. I remember that one. I used to love those because I think it's fun to make fun of other people. Yeah. But I feel like you can also tell, too, when they're, like, being written for them. Yeah, yeah. What I mean?

Well, I mean, certain comedians go up. Like, some of them write their own, but I feel like when they have, like, Martha Stewart. Yeah. They're obviously being written for. So it's not as funny. Which, you know, I don't mind that. I don't mind that.

I actually respect that because, like, if Betty White goes up, and Betty White's, like, I'm a comedic actor. I'm not a stand-up comedian. I would rather see you do a good performance written by someone else than watch Betty White bomb You know what I mean? Because Anne Coaster should have hired writers

Like Anne Coaster went up and just I mean she bombed It was horrible She did bomb really bad I was like girl this is I was like Which she deserves At least at least hire writers

Like do not go up there and like Well see that's that's the gag isn't it Because it's like this unbridled confidence They're like oh if I just have to make fun of people I'll just make fun of what they look like or their sexuality or their race or like something that's easy, low-hanging fruit. Which, by the way, you can make funny jokes

about me being gay. You can make funny jokes about me being black. There are funny jokes out there. You can make fun of that, at a, especially at a roast. At a roast, in my opinion, if you're at an actual roast event where people are agreeing to be roasted, it is okay to go for low-hanging fruit.

That's kind of one of the main points of it. And you get extra points if you make it about them as a person, if you can relate it to them and who they are and how they behave and their personality, their public persona. Extra points for that. I personally love Rose. The last one I did was Whitney Cummings,

which was I did that either right after the new year or right before the new year. And I just had a blast. And there were some jokes in there about me that I had never heard before. I've been to a, I've done a lot of roast in my day. Like I've done a ton of roast in my day.

So if you can get me with a new one, I'm always known for that. You're like super excited to hear it. It's funny. When it's well written, well executed, I think it's funny. I agree. I love to giggle, even if it's at myself. Yeah, same.

I don't care. But anyways, okay, so we'll get into, we're talking about the art of roasting. Oh, we're still on the first question? There's no questions. You're good. No worries. Okay, so for those of you don't know here at the comment section, what we like to do is we bring videos that are related to the topic at hand. And then we, key, key, giggle, laugh, all the funny things or make fun of it.

Either or. but we'll do one for today so in this video a woman explains that her opening line on Bumble is you pick one a dad joke two a fun fact or three I roast you and she shows screenshots of some of the ways that she's replied

to guys who asked to get roasted like you look like if Patrick Dempsey and the least attractive Baldwin brother had a son and shows the ways the guys reacted work my guess is not very well well they asked to be roasted I know but a lot of times they say that and if you're actually good and funny,

they get mad. Like, because straight men are annoying. It's weird. How are you going to consent to be roasted and then be like, well, I don't know you'd roast me. Well, you didn't say it would be good.

Yeah, I thought we were just kidding. I'm going to do, have you ever gone into the, first of all, anyone who thinks that TikTok is successful, clearly you've never been to Reddit. Reddit's really bad. They hate me on Reddit.

Baby. Reddit is the wild, wild west my Twitter header is literally a Reddit thread that was sent to me by an anonymous person thank you I don't think they like me

very much but I'll literally pull it up but what makes you think that well the Twitter the topic of it I don't know what the terminology for it is but it literally says that's the stupid bitch on TikTok called Drew off wallow and then it had one up vote from

themselves and then the bottom was like I hate that cunt too that was it and I was like work bitch and so I screenshot it and then I put it as my Twitter head editor they did it a roasting themselves I'm like did you make two accounts to like cheer yourself on? I love whenever one of my favorite comments is that people leave on

by the way I think that TikTok and social media is showing us that like a lot of the funniest people in the world aren't even professional comedians I know TikTok comments they kill me they eat them up brilliant they eat them up every time sometimes whenever I get a mean comment when I my favorite comments underneath it is

nice try Monet or I see you Monet my best friend Monet who's always like reading me I love whenever someone's like Bob Monet was right and then someone goes I know this is your burner count Monet Monet. That shit gets me every time that shit always always always always proud of the comment section over on my TikTok or over on my Patreon

on my YouTube page they also they'd be gathering me in ways I'd be like I never Okay yeah who knew there was a brilliant I'm like not too much now yeah yeah exactly Yeah, who knew those are a brilliant stand-a comedian who was just, you know, an accountant over at Goldman Sachs or wherever the hell you work, you know? Yeah, I've talked about how I did a roast once about this guy who, he said this up shit about fat women.

And he looked like rotten. Like, he looked like he came on the Mayflower and he's somehow still breathing. Mummified currently, right? And that's all I talked about was like how he looked unwell. I'm like, you just don't look very good. I'd get checked. You're aging like Greek yogurt. That's why I said, Black Plague, I think.

Right. And so all the comments, they've never made me laugh harder. Like, of all the people joining in on it. Oh, the tag team, tagging in, bink, bing, ding, ding. Yeah, like someone, have you ever seen parts of the Caribbean? Yes. Like the last one. Someone said it's giving part of the crew, part of the ship.

Which to this day is one of the funniest comments I've ever read. I literally wrote back that I said, this made me cry laughing because it did. I laughed at it so hard to start crying. That is so funny. And so funny. And so it was like Prince Philip core. Would you ever want to do a roast? Prince Philip?

He was like wild. Girl, that racism gets you. Uncapped. Colonization rots you from the inside. Unwell. Yeah. The spirits of all the colonized. It was giving walk.

It was giving night of living dead. It was giving. Have you ever wanted to do like a roast, like a roast with you and like friends and people like at a. I would love to do that. At a public event? Oh yeah. I would love to do that.

I think people have wanted that for me for a long time. I just don't really know in what capacity. And guys, there's nothing. There's really nothing wrong, in my opinion. Yeah. If you, if you, if you, I'm a show pony. I really believe in putting on a good show. If you write your roast and you sit down and they're not good and test them out with people.

You can go to open mics and stuff. Test them on your friends. Yeah. If they're not getting a big laugh, bitch, go hire someone to write. Do you not, don't show up and, you know. Yeah. Like unprepared. Yeah.

Or with like too much confidence that like, you're like, well, and that's what. why I've talked about how like the transition from online comedy to like stand up because I've people have asked me to do stand up a lot but I've been like I just don't know if my comedy would translate like to stand up comedy I feel like maybe if I practice but standup is such an art form that I feel like it would take a long time to study yeah execute because I don't want to do a bad job that's why I said I don't want to like just because you're funny doesn't mean you can be a stand-up comedian that doesn't always translate and also every stand-a-com comedian isn't a great comedic actor

That's true. They are all individual. Some people do, that's crossover. Yeah. Some people are multifaceted. Yeah. I just,

I never want to be too confident that I could be that funny. But you know, you never know. I mean, I think like reps, reps, if you train in it, then you can end up being,

that's what I figure. That's what people have told me, because we did do, my sister and I went on tour in January. Oh, nice. And we did like live, it was like live comedy.

So that was like my first real stab at live shows. And so doing that, I was like, I think if I practiced, I could definitely get into it. And never, never be afraid to ask for help. Yeah. That's what I would definitely do. Have someone help you structure the show.

That's why there's people, people who, you know, who do those things. I don't try to choreograph my own shows. I mean, I can kind of dance, but like I hire a choreographer. I hire, you know, I can do my own makeup. When I got on the show, we're here on HBO, I hired a makeup artist to elevate it just to make it, you know, take to the next level. Yeah, and I'm all about delegating. to someone more talented than myself. I'm super cool with that.

It really shows a lot of leadership skills. Yeah. When someone is able to acknowledge that there's someone who can do something better than they can. Oh, yeah. And they help them with it. Yeah, that's why I hired, I have a full-time hair and makeup artist now. And your hair makeup looks wonderful. Thank you.

But it was for this show and it's so funny because in the early, like, infancy stages of this show, I did like a whole rehearsal day where we, like, sat on the set. I, like, pretended to talk to someone and we kind of like went through a whole, like, day of filming. And he couldn't do my hair makeup that day, but like, before it, I was like, you know, like my mom had asked me, like, are you going to hire someone? And I was like, well, I mean, I'm pretty good at doing my hair makeup myself. And then my mom was like, oh, like I said, I love the mom's like, so do you want to want to help you with, um, this? Yeah. No, see, like, or is that how you want, oh, no, you want to look like that. Oh, well, if that's the goal,

I say that and she's like, to you. Yes, to you. And then, like, like, to you. And then, like, like my first full rehearsal day, he couldn't do my hair and makeup that day, so I had to do it myself. And then when I saw myself on the camera, I was like, oh, okay. All right. Mean, but fair. Mean but true. You're mom was like, well, you look the way they grow at, you know, and Universal Studios thought you looked online. She looked at the screen and she's like, and that's why I told you to hire someone. And that's the kind of people you really want to your corner. That is the people you really want in your corner. She's so real for that. Yeah. That's all I was like, no, you can't hurt my feelings.

because that's who I was raised with. I have one of those moms too. I have one of those moms who if you don't do a good job, they will not tell you they get a good job. She will never lie to me. And that shit can be like, damn. Well, that's why I've talked about. One of the few skills that I have not deluded myself ever

into thinking I could do is sing. I wish I could. I wish I could sing too. I'm not tone deaf, but I by no means can sing. Like I can like hum along to a melody, I would say. But that's pretty much as far as it goes. And so, like, if I were to ever, like, you know, sometimes, like, online people will start singing careers and they don't work out very well. And then, you know, like, they're like, I always, listen, use your imagination.

I'm not, no, not partial to anyone in particular. But sometimes it doesn't work out. And if it does work out, great. If it doesn't, you know, people are like, why would you even do that? And I always think to myself, like, my mom would, would never. Like, if I got in that booth and I came out and that's kind of, like, dog shit, she would be like, hey, it's awful. She's coming. She's like, all right, we're just going to go ahead and unplug that.

She's like, she's like, she would tell me that was dog shit, but I'm proud of you for trying. But you really tried. Yeah, and she would say like, what do you want me to just, what do you want me to lie to you? I was like, can we go ahead and delete that whole file, that whole session? Go ahead and delete that. Thank you so much.

You know, and this is like kind of like a little bit of tea, a little bit not. I had to do, I did like a little bit of singing for something that I can't talk about. Even though I told them I couldn't. They'll ask you anyway. They'll ask me. And they said, okay, great, we need you to sing. So then I was like, okay, what if I killed myself in front of you instead? So then I was like, okay, so I asked one of my cousins to, like, help me because he's a beautiful, like a God-given singer.

Like, I wish I could sing. I hate those people. I kind of wanted him to, like, sing for me, like a ghostwriter, but, like, he had to lip sing for me. Like, Ashley said to do it. Yeah. General, Jennifer. Jennifer. I wanted him to do it for me so bad because he's so talented.

And so like he was trying to coach me through it. And so he's like, I'm just going to record every single take we try. And then I think if something good comes, I'll tell you like, this is the take, right? And some of them, like I would start and then he'd be like, okay. And he would stop. He'd be like, that was really bad. So we're not going to use that one. Can you sing a little bit for me?

Can you sing like Maryhead Little Lamb? No. Please. I'll do it for, I'll do it. I'm going to try. This is me trying my best to. sing. Twinkle,

Tinkle, Little Star. I'm telling you right now, you can sing, but I will not. I'm trying to give it. I'm trying to give it.

I'm trying to be like, in my mind, this is like if Beyonce was Swin'UK, Tink, Tinkle, a little Star. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, how I wonder

would you are. That was actually not bad. Well, it wasn't garbage, but it wasn't. No one's going to buy the album. I had to say. sing. I love that you're so confident that you're able to do that.

So brave. I had to sing. I was on an episode of it was the show where he's the devil. Lucifer. Oh, I was going to say, yeah. I was episode of Lucifer and they were like, and you have to sing the song. I had to sing the lady's a tramp and I had to go to the studio and record it.

And then lip sync it. And lip sync it. And I was like, oh no, I asked something. Like, so there is a footage of me out there singing, the lady is a tramp. Like, honestly, I kind of ate. It sounded like you would. It's probably auto-tuned down. But baby, the end product, I was giving. I was talking to someone about singing recent.

I forget who it was. It was like someone in the industry. We were just talking about it. I'm not that dumb. It was someone I forget, and I was telling them about my singing experience. And they were like, oh, well, you don't really have to worry about that. And I was thinking like, yeah, you know, because I did my best. and they were like, no, because they auto-tune everything.

Oh, everything. So if you think about it, like, you know, it was probably that bad, and then they probably fix it. And I'm like, oh, it's going to sound good at the end. No, cool. Yeah, no, for sure. No, for sure. You know, now that everyone's listening to this and watching it,

it's just going to be, every comment is going to be Drew sing. Please sing. Just one time, just one. And it's going to end up being, after like two years of them begging for you to sing, it's going to end up being your most successful TikTok. My mom was like, I heard you, And it was not that bad.

That's the couple of it. And I was like, okay, she goes, and you know I would not lie to you about that. Like, if I thought you were terrible, I would tell you. I'm like, true. But you also know I'm fragile and I will kill myself, so. So, no pressure. These sound engineers are magicians.

They're so talented. They are, it is wild what they can do. Yeah. Have you ever watched Friends? Yeah, of course. Okay, you know that one where she, Phoebe gets cast in like a music, they want to do her smell. Cat is like a song.

Yeah, and then, you know, they dub her. And she watches it and she goes, oh my God, I'm amazing. That's how I want to feel. Delusion. I want to live in it. Apparently, allegedly, the actor who played the body of Darth Vader thought they were using his voice. And he did not know until they got to the theater. Damn.

Allegedly. I don't know if this is true. Yeah. Because James Earl Jones voiced Darth Vader. And he was sitting there. he was like, mm-mm-mm. And they sat down in there and then he heard this voice and he was like,

imagine. You told your whole family. At a watch party. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're getting, woo, woo, and they sit down and then you hear this voice and everyone's like, that's not you. That would. Would you commit to the bit or would you tell them you didn't know?

I would run out of the room crying. I'd be like, I'd be like, I'm, this is great. I did not. Would you be like, that is me? That literally is me. I don't have that kind of poker face. No? I don't have that kind of poker face.

I'll lie. I'll lie. I'll be sitting there gathered. I'd be like. But that is my belly. That's what you tell them. Yeah, that is, that is my. That's my belly, though.

That's me, God damn. I don't know what we did this. That part, that move was iconic. Do you think that family was like, oh, yeah, you're in Star Wars? Yeah. Oh, you can't even prove it. Yeah. He can't even prove.

And there's no camera phones at that time. Poor guy. I always well. They're all, yeah. Apparently he was in Star Wars. I don't know if he's alive or not. I mean, Jamesville Jones is like in his 90s almost. Yeah, I don't know if the body of Darth Vader's.

Mark Hamill is, but he was young. Yeah. Mark Hamel was, yeah. That's what I'm saying. You're just the body and the thighs of Darth Vader, but not the voice. That's wild. That's great. Yeah.

It was a whole. They're like, yeah, he's a kook. He tells everyone he was in Star Wars. And then he's like, I was. I was in Star Wars. Yeah, it's giving that scene in Death Becomes there where she's like, Madeline Ashton. Saddle in Ashton.

It's like, yeah, okay, sure. You were Darth Vader, buddy. Sure. Yeah, and I'm the Easter Bunny. You just black swan himself. Literally. Just goes into... Oh, shout out to the guy from...

Shout out to the Darth Vader body. Shut out. If you're watching. It's the body of Darth Vader. He's a big fan of yours. Yeah, he's one of your biggest fans. He wrote that Reddit comment. That's the head around your...

Stupid witch. Okay, we'll go back to this. I'll do a couple of these comments and then we'll... We'll piece out. Okay, so this girl who is roasting people on Bumble. Was it Bumble? Yeah, on Bumble. The first one says,

99% of the Bimbos on Bumble have an ego. Why should they message first? They lack basic IQ and rest. 1% who message on Bumble say two golden letters high. Was that English? This is what the guy said about her? Yeah, he's like mad at her. Can you read again?

He's basically 99% of the bimbos on Bumble have an ego. Why should they message first? Like, why should men message first? Got it. They lack basic IQ and rest one percent who, I think he's saying the rest of the 1% who message on Bumble say two golden letters, which is high. I really hate when people want to, like, win an argument and they just start rambling.

And they're always saying stuff. They always say either. 99% or 90% or 50% They always say 50%. And I was like, first of all, statistically, to land at exactly 50%, there's like a 50% chance that, I'm kidding.

There's like a rare chance. I don't know why it drives me crazy when people make up statistics to win arguments on the internet. It drives me crazy. But also, I imagine this. Listen, guys, if you are

the way that some straight guys view women, they really just Drew's mom is here, I'm so sorry, they just want pussy. They don't want a wife, they don't want a girlfriend, they just want some pussy and they want to marry their best friends.

They want to be in a relationship with their boys. They want to be emotionally coddled by their friends. They want to be able to cry with them. They want to take their best friends to weddings and then they want to leave the wedding and then just a random disembodied pussy that isn't attached to anything. That's why it's like they're-

And they want to cuddle with their boyfriends. They're like attracted to women, but they don't like women. So just go get a boyfriend. Well, it's so funny you say that because I literally saw a tweet this morning of these two awful, awful, awful human beings that I'm not going to say their names because they're awful and I used to promo them. It was me. It was my podcast.

It was Trixie and Katzio. Yeah, exactly. No, it was these two men who are just ranted awful, and they were on a podcast together. Every time men, like, straight men like that, make a podcast, an angel falls from heaven. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent of the time, that's a statistic. Honestly, we should no longer be illegal at you. We should have to register sure microphones.

Like guns. And do a background check. Yeah. And if you exhibit behavior of an alpha male or an in-cell, you should not be allowed to register your sure microphone. That's my opinion. But is these two men in there talking, they're literally. having a conversation about how they are like disgusted by vaginas. Like it's like the thought of giving head disgust them.

What? These are two men who like have said that they're like they love to have multiple girlfriends at the same time. Like they're like super misogynistic both of them. And they say all this of shit about women all the time. And they're openly talking with each other about how disgusting it is to think about giving oral to a woman. but like a man it's like it's not the same it's easy

it's like so simple it's easy like that doesn't scare me and then someone retweeted it and said this is not a joke I'm being dead serious have you guys thought about sucking dick okay as someone who has given a lot of fallatio and a lot of khanalinge as in my life I've eaten a lot of pussy and I've sucked a lot of dicks in my life I can guarantee first of all they are both delicious I love it there it is so also

Also if you're gonna roll the dice on hygiene Who do you think's more clean? Oh yeah The pussy's gonna more 10 out of 10 And vagina's self clean But also the thing about it is people who like sucking dick Can I mean not everyone this is not a blanket statement But sometimes people like sticking dick They kind of don't mind a little bit of

A little experience A little like you know A little smell on the dick But also if you're To be expected But also if you're eating a pussy and it smells like pussy. Oh, plot twist. Yeah, it's pussy

bitch. It's going to smell like pussy and it's going to taste like pussy. You ordered the pussy and you're shocked that the pussy came to your table. Yeah, bitch. I just don't know. Well, that's either someone who's never had pussy right? Or someone who like

is like forcing themselves to enjoy it? I have no idea. I'm not telling you all that you have to eat pussy if you like having, but like I do think that if you're, if you're, if you have a vagina and you're having sex someone who doesn't want to eat pussy, that's a red flag. That is.

That is a red flag. If I'm eating pussy, why aren't you? Why have I eaten more pussy than you? That's crazy. Right? That is crazy. That's crazy. It's also just so like, what I don't understand, like, what's your goal then?

Like, what is it that you want then? They want to dissimbody thing to speak their dick and then. That's what I'm saying. a flesh jack or something. That's what I'm saying. At that point it's like you don't want a human then like you just want a thing and you have a problem.

I think that straight guys, alpha males really have to just start experimenting with dating each other and they would probably be so happy and they'll probably end up being like nice and they'll probably be like they'll like release it. Oh yeah. I mean

whatever is holding you to that. That's what I'm like I just think it's so strange to be so volatile about the way you talk about women, about the way you talk about sexual relations with women, like you're so disgusting and objectifying them constantly. And then when

it comes down to pay the piper, you're complaining. Isn't that what you wanted? Like, I'm confused. Yeah, that is very... That makes no sense. I could not imagine. I can't even fathom

the idea of complaining about eating pussy. And then being like, but I'm a sucking dick is like. That's like me talking about Oreos, like how much I love Oreos. Like, oh, I love them. I love them. I'll have a bunch of Orioles all the time around me. And then when I say, but then, you know, when you open it and you got to eat it. The cream and the- It's kind of disgusting if you think about it. Like, it's kind of gross. Like, it doesn't even taste good.

I actually don't even like, in fact, I kind of honestly prefer a different cookie, but I mean. But I'll eat the Royos. I mean, I guess I'll eat it. Like, it's an Oreo. I'm going to eat it, I guess. So the real thing is too, like, I think maybe these people don't like to work for things. Because if you're sucking a dick, you know, sucking a dick is like, it's easy. It is easy. And you're going to get, you're going to get the person there. It's a real baffet situation.

It's a time thing. You know what I mean? If you keep sucking the dick long enough, you're going to get the ranch dressing. You know what I mean? But making somebody with a vagina come is harder than recovering your iTunes password. I think that these guys who are It's like undoing a safe with your time They're bad at eating

They're bad, they got bad feedback Yeah, they were eating someone's pussy And the person was just like not react They were on their phone, they were TikToking And then they were like, well, if it's, you know Then fuck this bitch man I'm not doing that shit again And also it's disgusting

That's why I said, I feel like that as an act Is like trying to open a safe Oh yeah You know what I mean? It is As a post as opposed to walking through an open door. Exactly. You know what I mean?

And just like trying to recover your iTunes password, if you get it wrong five times in a row, you're locked out. You're never getting back in. You're done. And they remember your device. Oh, yeah. They're like,

you've tried to log in from this device before. And all the other iPhones, no. And they're like, nope. No, don't trust that device. Remember it says trust this device? No. Yeah, this account has been suspended. You are no longer allowed.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. They're bad at it. And it sends a message to another device. are you trying to log in from this device? Yeah, exactly. Because this device has been locked out. Exactly.

There is no way on earth. Those guys are good and bad. It's not possible. Not even a little. I'm telling you, 99.9% of all guys who don't like eating pussy are bad in bed. And what? And I'm digging my heels in the sand on that. And that's a hell I'll die on.

Yes. Well, it's been a journey. It has been a journey, but we made it here We did together This is fun Thank you for having me It's been like a long time Like I remember your team

reached out to me a while back Yeah yeah It's been you know what It was worth the way And I remember I was doing Drew's podcast Like what happened Why am I'm not doing Drew's podcast

And here I am You came at the perfect time And stick around because the rock is next I know Let's manifest together I love that Well thank you guys so much For joining us

On this episode Of the Commentsexation show Thank you so much to the amazing, hilarious Bob the drag queen. You're an icon. I'm honored to have had you. I agree. Thank you for having me.

This was really amazing. Thank you so much. You're the best. I adore you. And invite me back when you have whenever you are, whenever you're picked up on your own network television. Oh, my God. You have the first one on my list. You hear that, Spencer?

Yeah. Eat shit, Spencer. Go scream in your bedroom because I'm the first one on the list. Loser. There you go. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show. Remember, you can always stream us exclusively on Spotify. And I want to thank Bob the Drag Queen once again for coming.

And I'll see you next week. Bye.