The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - WE HAVE THE SAME MOM? | Drew Afualo ft. Austin Cho | THE COMMENT SECTION 31

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew welcomes Austin Cho to the show this week to discuss learning to be your authentic self online and in life, their shared love for Drew's mom, and so much more.   Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Check out these eos products: eos 100% Natural & Organic Lip Balm Stick - Vanilla Bean https://bit.ly/3RSvh6q eos Organic Lip Balm, Sweet Mint https://amzn.to/3RSuWRc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How come no one wants to know about the real meat? The smart me. Like you at home, like, literally, like, opening up, like, the competition three. Like, no-book. And I would be, like, I roast men on the internet, but I wish people just knew a side of me. If they only knew. Like, the lo-fi, like, the one that all of the students used in college, like the lo-fi beats. You're like, I just wish people saw this side of me.

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Have a break. Have a Kit Kat. Hi, everyone. And welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section show, starring me, your favorite, Drew, who cares about me? Anyways, anyone, everyone tuned in only for the guests. Anyways. So today I have. have one of my faves a fellow API

but not a trailblazer. Austin Chow! You know, Austin go way back. From birth. So, literal. Birth. Came out together, actually. We were in the womb together. I just waited a little longer, actually. If you looked at our mom's sonogram, it's us going.

With our left, and we both have insignificism in the left eye. So both of us were like, okay, like when we come out. We made the same phase. You're both like. With the monocle. With the monogle. Yeah, we were just talking. about how we both have an astigmatism.

And our mom, by the way, it's not her fault. Further proof that we were in the same womb. Absolutely. It was really, really, it was a party. And the likeness is uncanny. Uncanny. You can't tell the difference between the two of us. Where is your mom, though, for real?

Like, I actually... She's out here. She's girl bossing. I was going to say, like, I love your mom. I'm obsessed with her. Like, I am in the DMs with her all the time. I know she told me. She was like, oh, yeah.

Austin messages me all the time. I was like, Austin Cho. I'm like, so brunch went? Because I'm like, I'm trying to come through this cookout. I'm like, that's crazy because he never messages me. So that's why. That's my mom. Different.

Siblings mom. Hello. Fives are different. Yeah. Vives are a little bit. How you been, babe? Existing. Yeah.

Thriving. Low key. Thriving, but also just, at times just existing. Austin was also a trailblazer. I was a trailblazer. I was a troublaser. You were LGBTQ. Yes.

Pride trailblazer. Right after. Love. Right after you. Pride looked so fun. Pride was crazy. It looked crazy. It looked wild.

That was my first LA Pride. Oh, really? It was like getting thrown in to just like, well, not even just like pushed in. It was like if I was a football and they went go and I was like spiraling in. I'm like, oh my God. Like what is this? That was for the straits. Oh, absolutely.

A football reference? Love that. Just. I don't know what I'm saying? A little bit. You fooled me. I did. In an NFL, I'm here.

You're here, okay, whenever you need me. I know, and you've been busy, busy girl. I've been busy girl. Books and busy. I, loki, don't know how I'm still standing. I don't know how you're still standing. I'm like, loki. I feel like, another day.

Yeah, I'm running on fumes at this point. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, sometimes people ask us to that a lot. They're like, how do you do it? Like, are you busy all the time? I ask myself this every morning when I open my eye and my anxiety meets me at the door and it's like, come on, baby, let's get up. Your one eye?

Let's get up. When you open your one eye, your good eye. Even in my subconscious, my eyes will still be shut, and I'll be like, I don't, I know I don't have anything. And then it's like, my anxiety, if it was personified, it would be like, Austin. Yeah, anxiety's here. The house is burning. The house is burning. You need to leave.

But you still need coffee to make this worse. Are you someone who's late no matter what? No. No. No. I mean, like, not maybe. I mean, like, I just, I'm super punctual, but it's like because of my anxiety. Like even before I came here, it was like, I could watch two more minutes of this show or I might have to panic.

That's so funny because I have really bad anxiety too, but it manifests differently. But I, lateness, that's the one thing I wish I could change about myself is that I'm late. How often are you late? Every time. Personality trait? Yeah, it's just one of those things I'm not proud of. Like, I say it all the time. I'm like, I'm sorry, dude.

Like, if you tell me, like, if I tell you what time I'm going to be there, go ahead and add two hours. Because I'm not, I'm a liar. I don't always, listen, hold on. That makes me so bad. Hey, that's like a whole. The one thing I'm never late for is flights. I'm literally, I'm like, I'm like your suburban white mom. I'm literally like, everyone's up at 3 a.m.

I'm like, everybody's up. We got to go. We got to go. We got to go. Right. I'm like, it's, we only have seven hours to get there. We have to get there now. I wish I had that kind of urgency with regular things.

This is the only job I could have. I just said this the other day. This is the only job I could have where I can. where I can be late and where whatever I want. That's like the only, this is the only job I could have where I could do that. Actually, yeah, no, that is actually the only job. Literally, the universe is like, this is it. Listen, this is like, okay, sometimes, like, because I'm someone, we call it like

Sam one time, because they're all late. Like, I got this from somewhere. Our mom. Take it up with her. Take it up with her. Yeah. But it's like, okay, I'll give you an example, right? Minority people, I feel like you feel me on this, but obviously you don't because

you're punctual. Whatever, bragger. It's the Capricorn. Don't like me. Like for me, it's like, okay, let's say you're throwing a party, right? Like a barbecue. You invite all your friends. You're like, hey, be here at 12.

And they're like, okay, it's a family party like barbecue at the house, right? And then you don't start getting ready to like 1130. And then your white friends show out at 12 and you're like, you're early. And they're like, you said 12. And then you're like, that means two. I thought you knew that. And then they're helping your family set up. You know what I mean?

They're like opening chairs and like folding tables. You're literally stepping on my neck with full-blown stiletto heels. Do you show up early and help set up? Well, I would literally be in the kitchen, probably with your mom. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you sit there and like, what do you need me to cut? What do you need me to cut? You need me to run to Trader Joe's?

I can go right now. Literally, my white friends show up early and they're like, yeah. Like, they vibe with my parents because nobody else is there yet. Like my little brother's there. And then he's like, what's up? They're like, hey. Yeah, and I'm in the shower. Like, I didn't even answer the door.

My dad did. She's uncurled. Yeah. Literally, I'm in the shower at 1145. I wish I could change it. I wish. You know what? I feel like I do want to change in that regard a little bit because it's awkward being

early sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Like you show up and it's like crickets. Or like, you know, like maybe the mom is not even ready. Damn, I wish Carrie was here because Carrie came to a party at my house. And Carrie showed up on time with her girlfriend. And Carrie was like, we're such losers. we came on time because she showed up and no one came for like another hour.

So it's just, it was her, her girlfriend, and my boyfriend. Okay, but like that would be me too. They're just viving. But like they were, I fucking love Carrie and her girlfriend. So it was so fun, but like it's so funny because it's literal manifestation of what I talk about all the time. When I was in, when I was in college, some of my best friends were white girls. So one time one of my friends, she told me she's like, hey, I'll meet you there right now.

And I was like, okay, I'm going to leave right now. And she said, I want a video of you leaving. She wanted me to text her a video of me getting on my moped and leaving. I was like, girl, I'm not sending that to you. What do you got out of your mind? She's like, I'm not leaving this house till I know for a factor on the way. Because I'm going to be there in two minutes. And if you're not there, I'm going to be mad.

Listen. Are they still your friends? Does that keep your lifestyle now? Or do they just know at this point to be like, you know what? It is what it is. Yes. No, now even my team, they lie to me. they'll tell me like you need to be there.

They'll literally tell me you need to be there by 12. And I'm like, okay. And then at 11.30, they're like, how are we looking on time? And I'm like, I'm probably going to need more. And then they're like, okay. And then I get down there and they're like, you didn't have to be here till 2. I just, I told you 12. They start lying to me, which I'm okay with.

Lie to me. That's what you need. Sometimes it's just those are the measures that you have to. To remain professional. At least I'm honest, though. Like sometimes I, you know, if I don't like it. Again, this is the one job that he's suited. for us. It's going to be okay.

You're always punctual though, you bitch. You're like, you're so on time. We're just opposites in that way. We've set that contract in the boom. That's what I'm saying. I was like, you go out. O, C, twins, fraternal. Well, actually, identical. We're identical. No, we're identical.

No, we're identical. And everything is just subjective at this point. Yeah. Well, honestly, this is a perfect segue into our topic for today because we're talking about learning how to be your authentic self. This is me talking about being late, right? And it's so authentic. My truest self.

It's so authentic. You know what? You are so real. I'm so real for that. You're so real for that, girl. No, you're so real. F-R-F-R. Like,

F-R. In bold caps. And I told Austin, I picked this topic specifically because I saw your video about you saying, not to get deep on y'all. No.

But you were talking about learning to be more authentically yourself. Because obviously, Austin, as I'm sure a lot of you know, you do lots of skits and you're really funny. And you do lots of, like, bits and stuff.

But you were talking about how you wanted to be more yourself, right? Yeah, I mean, like, I feel like it's, it's interesting because when I started TikToking, Mm-hmm. TikToking. It was literally, okay, so backstory. Mm-hmm. I feel like I've had chameleon syndrome all of my life.

Mm-hmm. And I'm, by the way, I'm born and raised in L.A., so I feel like that's partially it. Like, I'm, like, literally going to school with, like, the kid of the person that voices SpongeBob and, like, you know, the guy who played Rocky. Like, and then, like, it's, like, in. middle school at such a vulnerable state in your life and I had no stability like I had no foundation my mental was like I don't know who I am like as most people that age are but yeah yeah I feel like I didn't have like the right confidence to just feel like I could be myself so I was always trying to mold and

blend and adapt and yeah that just became the norm I feel like it happens yeah and I feel like the climax of that was when I found myself working at a rental car place outside of college I I used to rent cars. Really? Like an enterprise type deal? Yeah, like Enterprise. It's like that. She who shall not be named.

I literally pass one on the way here and I was like the bane of my existence. The worst job? Was it the worst job you've ever had? The worst part of it is I tricked myself to thinking I liked it. Oh. Where I was like... That happens a lot, though. I would get up in the morning.

You want to say like coming early to work? I was there like parked in front of Enterprise like an hour before. The manager gave me the keys before I was even like... supposed to have it because she was like you're here before me every day just opened the store and I'm like okay like where did you switch bob square bands like literally and then all of a sudden I became squidward like in a matter of a month I was like oh I hate this I was like who am I like I have a Ford F-150 on the lot for you I'm like who am I becoming I had a huge identity crisis and then that happens with jobs a lot though especially in college right after right after college yeah same my my job right

after college too. Like, it's the same, same vibes as far as, like, you convince yourself that this is, like, how life is supposed to be. You know what I mean? It's all fake. Yeah, it's not real. And so when I started TikTok, it was like, oh my gosh, wait, like, I finally get to discover, like, what my voices, like, what my passions are, who I want to be, what I want to do.

And it started kind of just, it started in the skit format, right? And I love, I think because I'm just also, like, a, dissociative girl. And so like I'm always creating scenarios in my brain, right? And so that's kind of, my TikTok is literally a manifestation of what my brain looks like. Love. But now I'm at this point where like, okay, great, cute. Yeah. Like I'm an uncle, I guess. And I'm also like triplets, I guess. Yeah, yeah. But who am I? Like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, outside of that. It's gone to a point where I'm like, well, there's this gap between who I am right now, like Austin Cho, like who I am, like filming these characters and what their story is and what is my story you know

I don't want that dissonance between my audience and yeah me well I think it's important to to distinguish that early especially now because in this industry like you said because you grew up like literally within proximity to this industry it's so easy to like lose yourself in with whether it's like with the people you hang out with or the content that you make it's really easy to like kind of start playing characters like you're like this is who I am online and this is who I am in real life right and sometimes it helps people to distinguish but it's really easy to get lost in the sauce I feel like the sauce is muddy yeah it's like goopy yeah it's quicksand babe it's quicksand it's like it's too easy to to like mold to that person but then you realize that's not you as a

person right and then when you meet people you're like should I be myself or should I be that other person let me tell you like it's specifically like a hot epicenter for this experience happens mostly at like Disneyland for some reason. I'll like, and it's strange. It doesn't really happen anywhere else. Like I will be existing and most of the time it'll be hot. I'm sweating. But I'm like with my family, right?

And then I'll hear and there's a ton of families at Disneyland obviously. And I'll hear like, uncle. And at first I'm like, well, that's just someone's uncle. Like, right? But then it would be like uncle. Oh my God, uncle? And I would like, they call you that in real life? that's crazy so I don't know if this is like if anyone else has this experience with the word uncle like it that I definitely have like you've Pavlov I'm like oh I've major and I'm like oh like I guess I'm also an uncle like you know what I'm saying it's weird because also specifically with that character it's the closest thing to me like it's not me playing a completely different person it's like an extension of myself in like some other meta universe yeah yeah yeah yeah

In this universe, though. I feel that. So it's confusing. It almost feels like everything everywhere all at once, but in like my real life, like happening simultaneously. So I'm like, where am I? Like, where's my voice? Like, where's just Austin sometimes?

Yeah. Which is why I feel pulled now to just be, you know, like I want to do that too. Of course I want to maintain that part of my creativity. But at the same time, I want people to know who's creating this. Like, who am I sometimes making these things? Which is, I feel like helpful too to maybe understand some certain narratives that I play. Yeah. because it might be telling of where I'm at.

Yeah. Do you have imposter syndrome? Oh, big time. That's probably a big reason why too. Oh, yeah. Because too easily, if you make too far of a gap between you and the people that you play. Right. Eventually, like, when your imposter syndrome kicks in, you start to think, like, they don't like me.

They like this person. Right. Right. So then it, like, subverts your confidence and your ability to create content and everything. Look at me giving you free therapy. You're welcome. I'm like, um, baby. Get the tissues.

That's why it's good. That's why it's good that you caught it now. You're like, this is something I need to diagnose now and confront now. So that way my audience knows. And I think you and I both have this with our audiences is that they're really, really great at listening and understanding like boundaries in that sense. For sure. So when you talk to them openly and you express to them like, I want to start trying to be more authentically myself, they were like, oh, that's so great. Like, I'm so happy for you.

And they're really understanding in that sense. And I feel that too to an extent because although like my content is just me, it's not my entire personality. So like sometimes people ask me, are you just like this all the time? And I'm all just mean? No. Like you think I'm a mean person all the time? A bully to like your trader Joe's cashier. Yeah.

The most random people in the world. Like I was like, no, because I don't hang out with people like this. Like I don't hang out with people like, hey. Like, no, like that's bad vibes. I don't, yeah. Low frequency vibes. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm not as like on all the time.

So when people meet me in real life, a lot of times, like, especially other creators, they're like, you're a lot more like. You're zen. Like, yeah, like laid back and chill than I thought you would be. Well, you know what? Like kind of to kind of tie in my, I guess, perception of that. Seeing you on the internet, it's like this literal like boiler room fire, like flamethrower, like. Yeah. And then in person, it almost feels like.

Yeah. You know the fire's in there, but it's like, I'm storing it. Like, I'm preserving this energy right now. I mean. Literally. It's so, it's so like whatever. It is. And it's kind of nice.

Very chill. Yeah, it's nice. It's very grounding. Yeah. I like it. And it's Virgo season. My dad's a Virgo. I know this energy.

Virgo man. Virgo man. Rough. Rough. And my mom's a tourist. I'm like a full Earthside family. I'm a Capricorn. Oh, I love.

Oh, yeah, you guys are all her sides. That's so funny. I love tourists, though. Torres women, too. Well, put all three earth signs in one cohesive dynamic, and it's not... Not to read you, but no wonder you have anxiety. Oh, my God. This is like, the whole internet is probably like baby.

Like, everyone's like collectively gasping, like... Earth sign energy, that's crazy. No, like, complete emotional stunting. Like, we're not allowed to like really have conversation. No wonder you're so punctual. Oh my God, it's fear. Yeah. I had a psychic reading like earlier this year and she was like, oh my God.

the fear that you have of love. No, literally. She's like, baby, like, you need to come in for like a chakra reading. And I was like, is it bad? I was like, it's over the, this was over the phone. I was like, this is bad. Like, this isn't good. Were you a good student?

Yes, but T is like not because I love school, but because I, like, wanted to be accepted. I don't know what I, I don't know who I was. Like, if I look back in my past, I'm like, baby, like, what are you doing? Like, I, like, took APs because it's like, that was cool. Like, you know, like, And that's, I literally like if...

Was that cool, really? No, but in my specific cohort, it was wrong timing because my cohort, literally everyone had like a 4.3. Oh, damn. And it wasn't even like the magnet, magnet program, but everybody in that specific cohort was like, oh yeah, like, 4.3.

Yeah. And I'm like... So it was like a status thing? Yeah, like if you didn't have a 4.0, like you were dumb. And I was like... Really? Yeah, so my brain was literally trying to wire it simultaneously of like, how do I exist in this, you know?

Yeah. And so it was like a huge mental stressor, which is why I'm paying for it now, thinking that like the ways that I need to exist are like not that. Yeah. Are you an only child? Are you? No, but my sister's six years older than me.

So basically like by the time. Is it just you and her? Yeah. Okay. And she was out, she was outside of the house like by the time you were in school and stuff. Well, by the time I graduated elementary school, she was in college. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. Basically, yeah. Yeah. My parents are working parents. Yeah, that's, I was going to say, because I'm a middle child, but I do have a theory that Earth signs are good at school. Like, I think it's like an overachiever thing because we're very overachieving. We love to overachieve. But it's more so to like, I don't know if it's like running from something.

I think a lot of times like it's where we start getting our soul. I think it's like a work thing. Like it's like a workhorse thing because then you don't have to pay attention to other things if you're just focusing on work and school and the things you can't control. because Earth Sign people have a problem with control. So especially Virgo. So it's a real control thing. So that's why with me, I'm a middle child too. So that was my thing, was overachieving in school and sports and stuff.

That was my thing because I felt like I wouldn't be seen otherwise. I have a really quick question for you. Yeah, please. What does your inner voice sound like if you could bring it to the mic and if you could let the inner voice like have like a... That's so funny. What would it sound like? Because mine is a very like controlling like dictator almost. Yeah.

It's like, hey, like, what are you doing now? Yeah, literally. Are you sure you want to be just doing that? I feel like you could be doing something else. Yeah, mine's very anxious. But mine's also like, it's almost like a 90-year-old white dude is what I think. Like one that's like, get off my lawn. Like that's how it sounds in my head.

And that's me talking to myself. So sometimes I think there's like an old man living inside me. He could be white. I don't know. But, like, just the fact that it's like, you know, like, it's so, and I also, like, talked down to myself a lot, too, like, as far as, like, you feel like you're never doing enough. And I think that's a big earthstein thing, too. Like, that's what I'm saying, like, the overachieving thing is, that's why I asked if you were a good student, because I was a really good student, too. You were?

Yeah. So I was, I was an AP and I don't know my girl smart. I don't know my girl's smart. Period. I graduated summa cum laude from my college. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Period. Yeah. I got that brain cell. You know one time I did an AMA, like a ask me anything thing. And someone was like, what's something people you wish people asked you more about? And I was like, I wish people asked me what scores I got on my AP does. Wait, okay, let's do this now. What are your scores?

Let's do this now. I didn't take very many. I took three. How many did you? You probably took $1 million if you had an over. Okay, but like I didn't do great. This isn't about me. I'm not talking about this.

I'm not here to really live my time. You want to tell me yours? You want me to tell you mine? Absolutely not. Like, I, I, I, did you take AB Tesla, like to, oh my God, yeah, get college credits and all that, yeah. Yeah, but I did. What were your scores?

My AP composition one, I got a five. So I was like, oh, I would have hated you. Big sleigh. I would have, I don't know how I did that, but big sleigh. Because you're smart. I know, oh my God. You're smart. And then, like, the one I didn't pass was AP US history, which I was kind of bummed about.

That's okay. That's probably the one that, like, I feel like, you're fine. Yeah. It's, like, not even really. Who cares? Racism. That's U.S. That's what I'm saying.

saying it's like that's probably why I didn't pass like that's too woke she's too woke yeah yeah I think like APgov I got a four or three and then AP lit I got a four so look at me we got a smarty love yeah I think the the AP test score my boyfriend was like you're so

embarrassing why yeah because I was like how come no one wants to know about the real me the smart me like you at home like literally like opening up like a composition three like I'm like I roast men on the internet, but I wish people just knew the fight of me. Like the lo-fi, like the one that all of the students used in college, like the lo-fi beats.

You're like, I just wish people saw this side of me. Wait, can we recreate that one day? Like, literally like, just coming into the room and you're like, sorry, I'm off today. I'm like, oh my God, careful. My bag's heavy. There's lots of books in there. Lots of school supplies, okay? That's why I tell people to munch my balls and they think I'm not smart.

Come on, girl. Come on. That's what makes it funny. For real. I think the smartest people, I think smart people are funny in here. You have to be. I mean, like, because there's just like, if you have no brain cell, like you're not going to get, there's no humor in that.

That's what I'm saying. There's like the lowest, cheapest form of humor. I think, that's why I say, what's funny is obviously, like, subjected to the person. Right. But it requires wit to be funny to a lot of people. Absolutely. That's why I said, you're telling me all these people are wrong. Like, you and I are funny.

Like, you get, you, I'm sure you get hate comments to you. I get them all the fucking time, but I think it's natural. but they are like, this isn't even funny. And I was like, according to you. I literally just scroll because I'm like, I don't need that in my life. That's negativity and that's lies. And I will not be talking about.

I'm not internalizing anything. How does it feel to be such a liar? I'm like, that's kind of embarrassing. And it's like, no one liked your comment. I'm like, no one's agreeing with you. Me, I liked it on my own, my own hate comment. You're like, that's right. Looks good.

That looks great. Likeed by creator. That's what I was like, you're saying all these people are wrong. Like you have a huge. I'm like you're saying all these people are wrong we're gaslighting all of I know I'm just like just the longest what are y'all like y'all are they all think this is funny like oh sorry my bad yeah so many people are like you think this is funny blah blah blah like you think I'm like yeah I tell you really quickly about what I literally my first experience of ingesting your videos yes please

so I do this thing where like I have like thousands like not thousands I'm being so dramatic but like literally like 10 things on like at the same time my TV the stove vent like My Nintendo Switch, literally. And I was literally like on my couch showered, right? And my for you page does not have the men that you stitch ever. So I think the first time ever I literally was like, ugh. And then, but then you were, you were showing up on my feet like every day. And I was like, what are these men?

Like, why am I getting greeted with this? Like I'm literally kind of unwind, like have tea. And I'm like, oh. But then I think it was like the third time, right? Where I was like, okay, like this something's up. Like I think the actual video was interesting. Yeah. And then you come up.

Yeah. And I literally was like, oh. Yeah. Oh, hello. And then I literally, like, the Sarah Paulson, like, Jiff or like the- No, I literally turned off on my life, went into bed, had a smile on my face, and literally was like, oh, it's over. It's over.

This is healing all of my trauma from men growing up. You know, it's funny. You're not the first person to tell me, though. Oh, I know. I've had countless people tell me, like, this healing. heals my trauma that I've experienced with men. Because it's almost as if like this is what I wish I could have said. Like if I was healed, if I was like, if I like tapped into my bad bitch energy, like,

because I've, I've been around that. We all have been around that in society. We just exist among. Yeah. Trash. Yeah. The literal trash. But like I was too scared to like pick it up and throw it in the dumpster.

Like you're over here like, especially like in New York like how they have like not the trash cans that like pull up. Like they literally are like out there like throwing it in. That's you. You're like, uh-uh, like, get in there, you stink. You're going to the incinerator, baby. Incinerated.

The dump, babe. You're straight to the dump. Stinky. Yeah, the way that I talk to, I tell people like who are critical of my, they're like, I just feel like you could go about a different way. Well, first of all, they don't listen to women.

They're literally like, they're going to, they're not listening ever, babe. That's why I'm, and then when they're like, you just have a bunch of like all these people. Sometimes I get accused of having bots, which is crazy. I would be spending thousands of dollars a month if I was getting bots. The embarrassing thing is that's just a projection of they're using bots. Yeah, yeah.

Like, no, not even 100 people want to see you at the gym. Like, not with those, like, chicken legs either. Like, I'm sorry. Like, you bought those. Don't you think that if all these people have shared experiences, the problem might be you? Turns out you're the virus. It's denial. Turns out you're literally rotten to the core.

And people have all experienced you in some way, shape, or form. And that's why they find community in my page Because they're like, I've also met a terrible man like this That's crazy I live with one or I go to the gym with one Yeah, or I literally just like one of my first videos To ever blow me up was a video where I did Very specific red flags in men

And she's like, what are some that you have? I had like a whole list So some of them were pretty obvious Like one of them I said like if Wolf of Wall Street Is his favorite movie of all time? Run, bitch. Like sprint. Run.

If he idolizes Jordan Bell. for it. Pack the bags. Climb out a window in the middle of the night. Like, just get out of the fire escape just jump like get out. Run into the forest and never come back. The other one I, another one I said though was like if he's obsessed with Tom Brady. But I said not like a Pats or a Bucks fan. Like just as a person. Yeah. Like read the memoir. Jerks it to pictures of him. Run, bitch. Like he has problems.

Problems. And so, so thousands of women were like the Tom Brady thing is so. specific. Like my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend was horrible and he loved him. I don't want to die. I'm telling you it's science. But for what? At what point? It's like a... What's the thing? I want to know. Okay, here's my tea with famous athletes and men like that, like toxic masculinity. Yeah, right. Trauma trauma and stillers. Yeah, the way that they idolize them, it treads a line. They literally can't tell if they want to be him or if they want to be on him. They literally cannot tell. They like are like, I want his life, but also I kind of want him, maybe.

He was looking kind of good. It's like, it's just the most intense form of toxic masculinity. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm having this crazy visual of all these men collectively, like, on his Instagram and like, late at night. Like, you know, like when you just zoom in private? Like, zooming on these pictures in private. They're literally like, God, like. Like that TikTok audio when they're like, when my girl sees I message, LeBron James, good luck, or whatever.

And he's like, it's not that funny. Like, just the obsession is weird. No, yeah. If you like watching football, if you enjoy it, if you're just a big fan of a team, that's not a big deal. Right. When you make it your whole personality, like you destroy things if you lose, you have problems. Oh, when you start hitting the drywall? Oh, baby.

If you literally, like, tell people, like, don't talk to me during football season, what's the matter with you? And now, if you become unapproachable or, like, if you don't become human during football season, like, goodbye. Or you make other people uncomfortable because you're so angry, what's wrong with you? get a job you know what I mean literally go to therapy immediately check yourself into a facility no immediately that's why I told a story about a famous athlete that

hit me up once when I was in college long time ago I told that story on TikTok before I blew up right oh man the amount of men the amount of men that got so mad at that video stampeding into your comments yeah they're like he would never be with a girl like you babe what do you know about that oh

you're like oh and what do you know about that then he was like You fumbled the bag of the century or whatever I'm all. Why don't you hit him up then? Right. Are you, his deans are open? You want his number? Go through, pull through.

Yeah, pull up. Pull up. Pull up. Pull up then. See if he answers. Who knows? He might. Roll the dice.

Let's see. It's so strange. They're just a stress. Yeah. It's an obsession and it's unhealthy. Yeah, it's mental, babe. Thank you. But thank you for paying the bags through.

They'd be pulling the bags. They're literally pulling the bags in for you. They are. They're running up the engagement. Thank you, babe. Thank you. I had like, a hate train start recently.

Wildfire. All the worst men in the world were like, it's like they had just found me that day all at the same time. So they're like, I'm going to make a video about this girl. The way, like, someone asked me if I was doing okay once and I was seeing, they're like, I've seen a lot of hate stuff. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Don't tell them, but my engagement's been through the roof. I've been thriving low key.

Don't let them know, but I've been thriving. Don't tell them. My views are up, baby. My skin is glowing. My bank account is, don't worry about her. There you go. That's T. And that's because we're being our authentic selves.

There you go. And that's, I'm going to get into our videos for today. So what we do here on the comment section show is I show videos that I was tagged in that are applicable to our topic. And then we talk about them. We kiki, we laugh, we joke. We have fun. Silly goofy time, as per usual. So this first video is a woman who's narrating over clips from her life of her and her friends.

And she's basically talking about how you have no control over the way other people view you. Their perception of you is based on their own upbringing experience and biases. Biasies your upbeat energy that one person might find annoying, another will find endearing. Since you can't control how other people see you, all you can do is live life as your authentic self. Which is very sweet and very true. That hits home because it's like if you really like step out of your own brain for three seconds, that's really the truth. It's like you're going to get, especially someone who is really vocal like yourself and it's just really firm in what they believe in. Yeah.

Like you're going to get polarizing. Yeah. Perceptions of you. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. You kind of just have to take it as like, well, I believe in what I'm saying. I believe that this is my truth.

That this is the people that I want to stand up for. So why would I have any ounce of regret? Yeah. And I'm learning how to have that too because one, it's endearing and it's powerful. Yeah. But also it's authentic. And it is at your most being vulnerable because you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe. And you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe.

Yeah. You're not afraid to stand it for these people. Or be your truest self. Or be your truest self. And just telling yourself in the mirror, like, oh, this is who I am. Like, this is who I want to be. Like, this is what I like. Yeah, exactly.

Right? Yeah, I think there's like a power in that because sometimes people ask me, like, how do you not let hate like that get to you? Because like the hate I get is like next level hate. It's a whole choo-choo train. Yeah, it's bad, man. It's really bad. Some, I know it's bad, especially I know some other creator friends of mine have

noticed recently. because I had quite a few men make videos defending me, which is new. It's rare. But some of them are my mutual, some of them weren't, but I had quite a few. And I think it's because they were seeing for the first time the side that I always see, which is like the hate and how terrible people can be when you have a platform like mine, like when you say the things that I say and stand up for the people that I do. But I always tell people like, I don't value the opinions of people that don't mean anything to me.

Right. So like if you already have these bigoted beliefs in your brain, what do I care if you think I'm a fat, ugly bitch? I don't. Babe, I don't. Like, immediately I don't. But I also think there's like a power in knowing, like I've said this before, before I had my boyfriend before I met him, anything like that.

Like I loved myself so much that I knew I deserved the best. So that's how I held out for it and I found it, right? So like, yeah, like no one's ever going to love you like you love you. So if you love yourself unconditionally, there's no way that you're ever going to let other people influence how you feel about yourself. So like if people think you're too loud or too aggressive or too much or like whatever it is they may say, nine times out of ten, that's a projection. Right. Obviously you want to be self-aware and understand that you're not being a mean person, bad person. But if it's like something harmless, like you're always upbeat or energetic or loud or you laugh loud like me.

Which is the best laugh on this planet. Like, when I, can we just talk about it? Like, the best laugh. The way that so many people are like, the laugh, do the laugh. It's the laugh now. It's with the TM, like trademark. Like, the laugh. The laugh, TM.

It's literally the laugh of the century. I have to tell you, like, it's the best. It heals parts of my soul and my inner child. Like, it really is. It's like some, it's just one of those things that you have. And if you love yourself more than anyone in the world could ever, then like, you won't crumble when people say things like that to you or like, don't want to be associated with you for whatever reason.

Especially if it's a projection, that's on them. They're healing inside. Let them do it. But you don't need to be there for it. I always think that too, you don't need to be there while they figure it out. Right. You know what I mean? Like sometimes people are going through stuff, that's fine.

But you don't need to be subjected to. Right. They're like neglect or like abuse of you, whatever it may be. That includes men when you're dating them. I also think it's just really important to have like a really loving, great example of a support system. Yeah, absolutely. Because it's like doing this alone, it's hard. You know, like being alone in any space, but especially this space, is really dangerous. It can be isolating, yeah. And I feel like dangerous too, hazardous because there's, you're subjected to so

many self-inflicking thoughts, though. Like, you're constantly berating yourself, comparing yourself. And so it's like when you have people who know you to your route, yeah, you're like, wait, I'm tripping. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And those are the people you seek when you're feeling vulnerable. And that's bound to happen. I always tell people like everybody has insecurities and everybody feels bad about themselves at one point or another because we're all human. But as long as you have people that you love that like know you and love you and trust you, right. Like they're always going to be there to like bring you back. So that's why you don't want anyone in that circle that thinks you're too much. Oh absolutely not. You have to check who you're with. Yeah. You are who you hang out with.

Yeah, exactly. That's that's it. I think I think that all the time too. So some of the comments on this I think are all like pretty sweet honestly but this one says living unapologetically and being my authentic self can be exhausting in a society so unauthentic so thank you for this I needed to hear it. I feel that. I think it's a big I think social media probably has a huge

weight like a bearing on that because everybody's always trying to be like other people right but that's why like since we do it for a living we're like even more subjected to it. I'm like okay yeah I get it like this is hard Like it's exhausting And every, every factor Yeah, and I, and I

Once I was like talking about this job And sometimes people are like Oh, must be nice, I wish that was my job First of all, I bet you you feel this too I'm so glad that I had a normal, Normal ass life before I did this Like I had the most normal job The most normal life like it was very, very

Normal. Like regular, you know what I mean? Because you're 25? No, I'm 26. 26. Yeah, like we, because I'm 25 turning 26. And so, like, to your experience, like, I feel like we got a lot of our, our free frontal cortex basically got to develop. Yeah, out of the spotlight.

Right. And so, like, I see some of my peers who are younger, right? And I see myself, if I was that age, I'd be like, I don't know who or how. I would have done that. I would be, like, contorted. Yeah. literally like I would feel like a stomach like my stomach I would feel a stomach not this no I feel you it's the same thing for me too in my head like I think to as I'm so glad

that I didn't get this when I was like 17 oh my god I wouldn't know how to act and I was insane when I was younger I'm not even going to lie to you my anger was unparalleled when I was younger believe it or not like I used to be way worse like yeah I used to like I literally Are you going to expose your angry self on the end? No, I just used to be insane. Like, if men were disrespectful, that's, that's tracked. I've done that my whole life. But I used to be a lot more confrontational.

No, literally, like, I would stand, like, I would like take my shoes off and be like, let's fight right now. You and me. In the street, like two grown men. Come over here and fight me. 17. Yeah, I was a lot crazier when I was younger. I've gotten older. I've wised up.

Your prefrontal cortex has developed out of the spotlight. Thank God. Uh-huh. That's like it used to be a lot worse. Now I've learned how to laugh at it before. It was just pure rage. I had nothing but rage for it, which is not good or healthy for me.

The cortisol levels were not good. Yeah, yeah, it was not good or healthy for me. And also I had no fear, which is a bad thing. Like, because you just never know. Like, people are insane.

But you have fear? I had no fear. But, oh, I'm saying you have fear now? No, I'm just much more aware. Right.

You know what I mean? Like, because people are insane. So, like, you don't know what they're going to do when you're in person, physically with each other. Like the way that I would handle like altercations when I was younger is a lot

different than how I would handle it now. Right. Because I grew up and I matured. Thank God. Yeah. Thank God for you. For all these terrible men. Thank God.

Thank God for you. Feel lucky. I used to say that I'm like, thank your lucky stars. There's community guidelines. Oh my God. If it were up to me, it'd be a lot worse. Yeah. But yeah, I think I think my lucky stars.

all the time, speaking of, that I had normal jobs, especially jobs. I rented cars. I was, I rented cars. I was a nutrition consultant for dogs. Don't ask. Is that for real? For real. I baked vaccha bread. No way. Yeah. My first job was at Jamba Juice. Oh, how was that job? It was low-key, fun. You just made smoothies all day. You know what I'm saying? That was probably my favorite job outside of this one. Really? I'm trying to think what mine was.

Yeah, what were you doing? Well, before this, I was working at a sports conglomerate by the name of the National Football League. That's what I was doing before this. And then they fired me. Thank you're lucky stars. I'm so glad. Thanking the stars.

Let me tell you something. I was dying at that job. Oh, my God, I was being suffocated. I was literally dying, so, such a terrible, slow, painful death at that job. The irony is one of the reasons why, They fired me allegedly is they said that I couldn't build a following. T. That's, Loki, like, y'all should be embarrassed.

Turns out, I can't. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Turns out. I'm actually pretty good at it. And I don't need y'all, actually. But before that, I did public relations for a construction company. So, like, it was my literal job to go door to door and tell people, hey, there's going to be construction on your

street, so your commute's going to go from 45 minutes to two hours. Oh, the deliverer. I hope that's cool with you. Like, that was my job was to go give them bad news. And then I would get berated on the front porch of people's, like, homes. I'm so sorry. They would scream and yell at me. Like, that was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had.

Like, they would yell at me like I was the one making the calls about the freeway construction. At some point, I literally was like, clearly I'm making the calls because I'm wearing a too tight blue polo and I'm standing in front of you at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday bitch. Clearly it's up to me whether or not this construction goes for it. Girl, what do you think? Let me just go call someone really quick and tell them no. We're actually

not going to build that building today because I'm going to get yelled at. You know what? Because this person said it's bad. Yeah, so no. You're right. That was my jobs. That job was really hard, but I loved who I worked with. So that was great. I was a server for a while. God bless you. Right? What else did I do?

I'm like forgetting. I like worked in sports basically. I was a sports journal. for a while. Like, I did a lot of sports things, but I think my favorite job I ever had was probably the construction job or this one.

Why? Because I just loved my team. I had such a... But not the actual job. No, the job itself was so hard and terrible. Like, are so hard and terrible. But it was... Goes out to everybody that is doing that.

Yeah, that's why I'm just so glad we had regular jobs because we know what it's like to work 9 to 5, to work service, to do all those things. And then now we have this. So, like, we have a really great understanding of like how hard it is to work.

I know trust me. We know. We know. We know. We know. I know many people are like, they don't get how hard it is. We don't understand. We do. I promise we do. This job is hard, but not for the same reasons. It's nothing like any other job. It's, if anything, way more taxing. Like, mentally, mentally taxing. But I'm not, I don't take for granted that, like, of course, we have the reins to how we want to operate. And, like, of course, we get to work on our time, which is great. But yeah, it is definitely, it can be hard. It can be hard.

And I, one time I talked about it, and I remember Tephy, she described, she was talking about it with me. And she was describing it as like, it's a job where it's a one-way mirror. So you don't see anyone, but everybody sees you. And it's, it just, it's a different kind of pressure that you experience. So it's definitely something that when you're in it, you're like, yeah, I get it. Yeah. I get why some people like literally go insane after doing this for a while. Because you're looking at yourself, but then there's like all of these comments.

Millions of people. Yeah. And judging. every single thing you do. So we get it. We get it. Trust me, we get it. But that's why it's important to stay authentic and true to yourself. And be vulnerable. Yeah, because otherwise, like, you'll, again, get lost in the sauce. Right. This one says, I absolutely needed this and we're not perfect. So it's inevitable that we

hurt others and others hurt us. What matters is how you proceed and grow. And that's true. And this one says so very true, what people think of you is none of your business. Leave your best life. Not one. I say that all the time. That's Nenya. That's Nanya. What they think about me is none of you. my business, I don't need to hear it. Yeah, because it's like I'm giving myself to the people that I know that I love and outside of that, no, I'm good. I don't need any more comments. Thank you. No, truly. Okay, so I'll go on to this next video. So this next one is basically it's a woman who's listing things you can start doing today to become your most authentic self. She suggests

taking out a piece of paper and writing down the things you loved as a kid to connect with your inner child, then circling the three that you still connect with the most and incorporating them back into your life. That's so sweet. That's really wholesome. I love that. That's really whole. I know. The videos are so wholesome today. What was the one thing I would say like as you as your most inner child enjoyed the most doing? Like what did what did you love? This is so cornball and everyone's going to be like so chuggy. I don't care. I think I think that's why I love going to Disneyland so much. Okay. It's a real big thing for me when I was a kid. I love. I love Disney as a kid.

I had an annual past like all of my childhood. Me too. Yeah. Same. We probably were there at the same time. Yeah, all the time. All the time. Well, duh, with our mom.

Our mom got it for us. Our mom would take us. Thank you. Thanks, Mom. Yeah, I think that that's probably why I love Disney so much still to this day. And I'm a proud Disney adult and I don't care. I have a very scary. I'm going to be vulnerable with you guys, everyone on the internet.

I get ads like, I'm only saying this because I hope you to understand. Yeah. Oh. My stomach is literally boiling. Literally, like, I used to get, like, chills listening to, like, the Fantasmic, like, soundtrack. You know, the fireworks? I love that. The whole show.

Yeah. I would listen to it, like, on my free time. Just the score. Like, if somebody were to be like, excuse me, what are you listening to? It was to be, like, the Fantasmic fireworks music from Disneyland. Oh, my God, Fantasmic. So, she's great. I love listening to Disney, like, playlist on Spotify.

Because they're great. I'm, listen. People are haters. Mood booster. I always think if it's not hurting anyone, who cares? Inner child healing. If they love it and it heals them and it brings them joy, who cares? Who cares?

I don't care. You get to like what you like as long as it doesn't hurt anybody else. I went to Walt Disney World for the first time. I took a picture with every Remy the Rat I saw, literally. As you should. I was going to put it in my dump, but there was too many. So I took one with every single Remy I saw because that's one of my favorite ones is Rattatooey. What did you think Walt Disney versus Disney World Land?

I honestly like I honestly like Disneyland better because like it's kind of like home right like you know where everything is yeah I feel that well it's just like I was saying I was telling everyone earlier like Walt Disney World plane trains and automobiles girl it takes me three to five business days to get to one park I don't like that and it's hot and humid and it's like girl you're telling me I sweat so bad it was honestly embarrassing I was like at this point like Gigi no truly I'm like this is it y'all no this is it for me I give up like I literally was going to curl up on the ground and be like just pick me up on the vacation i'm done just i'm done the way that they need air conditioning in every single closed building in that state anything insane though ac bills i don't even know what they look like they're absolutely bonkers i think that but i think that dizziness is like a big one for me i think i love i listen to play this all the time there's nothing there's no shame in that send me some love that i'll share it with you yeah we'll stream from our mom's spotify let's just stream it all in your house I'm at the barbecue. Like while people are taking like shots

and like Little Mermaid. I think it's just so great. I think that's something that you can also like inner child thing. That's why the way that she described it, I was thinking about it as I was reading it. And I was like, I wonder what mine would be. And that's the first thing I thought of was Disney. I think that's on my list if I were to write three.

Probably be on there. I think number one though for me has like been swimming like in a pool. Because literally, like I had so much free time as a kid. Yeah. And the swimming pool that I had in my complex was always empty. Yeah.

So I would literally go in there and just create like a whole, like six hours, like six hours night till nighttime. Yeah. From the morning. Yeah. I would be in the pool. Just like I don't know. I don't even know what I'm playing mermaids by myself.

Like that. I love that. Yeah. So swimming has always been it. So I, every time I go to like Hawaii specifically, Hawaii has always been the place for me to where I can just jump in the ocean and, like, I love that. like live my fantasy as a kid. Yeah.

It's so healing for me every time. The beach is probably one for me, so it's in the same vein. Right. Yeah, that's definitely one for me. That's me being like connecting to my ancestors. I'm here. I lived in Hawaii too when I went, I went to U.H for college. So I lived there for like four or five years.

And it was so great. So awesome. Life is just so much more slow pace. It just feels like you can kind of exist. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent stripped down and just yourself. I'm so glad I didn't have this when I live there too. So I could like experience everything.

Enjoy be present. Yeah, absolutely. I love Hawaii. Hawaii is like a second home to me. So that's like, oh, I love that place. Me getting teary eye thinking about Hawaii. Inner child healing. Yeah.

So the comments on here, this one says, I was obsessed with traveling, but thought I'd never be able to go. I'm taking a one month trip to Europe and made by myself. My inner child is screaming. That's so sweet. That's really sweet. I love that.

I don't think traveling was one of mine. I didn't really travel as a kid. Me either. And traveling is stressful to me. Yeah, but we could just start saying we now because we know we're from the same family. So we didn't travel much. We went to Disneyland a lot, though, but we didn't travel that much. Just letting you know.

Just so you guys know. Look at our moms here. Hi, mommy. Hi, mom. Okay, this one says, I love this. This is exactly why I make jewelry for a living now. My inner child loves to bead, collect rocks, and play dress up. That's so sweet.

I never really beat it as a kid. I'm not really good. I'm not creative like that. I get mad at myself when I'm not creative. Me too. It's literally I can't draw. Same. So anytime like it's a trauma for me like when my family's like let's play

Pictionary and I'm like, you know, you guys hate me huh? I'm like I'm gonna I've literally gotten to points where I'm like panicking because I'm like it's something so easy and generic and I'm like drawing a stick figure that doesn't look like anything and I'm like guys I can't play I can't play I can't do this anymore. Please, they're like, it's literally just the game. And I'm like, there's trauma. Like, I fuck at trying. You guys don't get it, okay? That's the anxiety, man.

I know. Obviously, we have a lot of inner child healing to do. I need to obviously go and, like, draw and be okay with it and, like, be okay with what I'm looking at. Yeah, there you go. Just a lot. Added to the list. Yeah, added.

This one says, this is so hard when I barely remember anything from our childhood, but some things are starting to come back. You know what's crazy is some people genuinely don't remember some things from their childhood, whether it's just like natural like memory or um trauma whatever it may be um my boyfriend's one of those people but i don't think it's necessarily trauma um with him he just doesn't remember anything like sometimes that's just him i think it's just bad memory like i'll tell him i'm like yeah did you ever um what did you do when you were a kid like i'll bring up something specific and he goes i don't know i'm like you don't remember he goes no that's end of story that's the end of story the way he just

no you want to talk about someone who like, because obviously, like, as like an earth sign, I live in the future. I'm constantly thinking. Yeah, I'm 10 years away from now. I constantly think like that. He is so aggressively in the present, it blows my mind. That's kind of really nice, though. Yeah, it must be nice.

I'm like, y'all live like this? I wish. I envy it. His ability to be like, it's all right. About anything? I can't relate. I need that in a partner. Like, I do because if I have somebody that's pulling me to the, like, future too, I'm done.

I'm literally going to start vaporizing into thin air. I don't even exist here anymore. No, same. Literally, that's why I'm so grateful that he's like, like my thought process, I describe it to people. I'm like, I care about everything and he doesn't care about anything, which sounds bad, but it's just like he's not worried about anything. I constantly worry.

I worry all the time. And sometimes he'll be like, well, what about this? And he'll be like, it's fine. And then I go, but what if it's not? And he goes, but it will be because it always is. And I'm like, but what if it isn't? And he goes, it is. I'm jealous.

I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. I envy it. I would be, I would loki resent it a little bit because I'm like, can I just be right a little bit? Like, can it just be a little wrong? And then when it is fine, he's like, I told you. And you're like, mm-hmm. Whatever.

Whatever. You know, this is a perfect example. But when we went to Walt Disney World, like, we switched hotels from one to the other. So like, when we went to the new hotel, we were like opening everything. And I have like a charger block. Like, I'm the one who packs the essentials, like, toiletries, all that stuff because, like, I need to know that everything's there. Right.

So, like, I packed this very specific charger that I love. I've had for years. My mom got it for me when I was a freshman in college. It's almost, like, nostalgic. I'm a hoarder, low key. So I, like, hold on the things. Or a charger? If they're, yeah.

The way it has sentimental value. Every time you plug it in, it's, like, just like the first time. The way it holds, like, memories for me. Okay. Okay. I guess I'm alone in that. Hyperfixation. On what?

Yeah. So it's just, it's just, it's just. It's my charger, right? Okay. So literally, he uses it all the time. And so when we got to the new hotel, I was like, hey, can you get out the charger? Of course he didn't bring his own. I brought extra cords and he's using my block that has multiple ports and shit.

Right. Anyways, he's like, oh, I can't find it. And I was like, did you leave it? And I'm on the brink. I'm so tired. We had a whole day. I'm on the brink of losing it. Losing it.

I was going to have a full nervous breakdown about that charger just because that's how my brain works. So I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean you didn't pack it? Like you were the last... Eye switching, like... Yeah, I was literally like, okay. Okay, he goes, no, I'm sure it's in here. I'm like, are you? Are you?

Sure? You're sure. He's like, yeah. I'm like, no, yeah, for sure, for sure. I'm literally like, I'm telling myself... Beats of sweat. Like you're like... Yeah, yeah, I'm like...

Literally, I'm like rocking back and from it. I'm like, no, no, no, for sure, for sure. It's totally there. It's there. It's there. And if it's not there, it's okay. Oh, at least he said it's okay. He didn't say that. I said that.

Absolutely. I'm doing it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's totally fine. Right. And then he was like, no, I'm telling you, I put it in one of these. And he says that all the time about shit and never remembers. I'm like, mm-hmm. So I like let go of it in my head. I was like, it's okay. It's not a real thing. It's fine. And then he like was opening, but I wanted to lose my mind. I wanted to have a nervous breakdown. And then he opened everything and then he found it in one of them. And I was like, wow. I said, look, I did so good. I literally told him I said, I did so good. I didn't freak out. Did you see me? You're literally like, I was literally like, I was. like freaking out right now. I told him, I was like,

I didn't freak out. Are you so proud of me? Are you so proud of me? I did so good. He was like, honestly, I'm kind of surprised. But what would he have done? He just sits there and watches me lose it. And then he tells me, it's okay.

And then I get past it. And then he's like, see, I told you it was okay. Why am my eyes watering after story? Like, literally about a charger. Like, I'm not well. That's my point, though. It's like, things like that.

Like, you need someone who's going to balance you in moments like that. It's so silly and mundane and who cares. It's not, though. It's like, it's real. I want this. But it's like, it's like the bigger picture

is that like you're with somebody who gets you. So they like understand like how you operate whatever. It's my control thing, dude. Like as I was saying, it's like I'm trying to get it.

I'm trying. But I didn't freak out. And I literally, my family and I had adjoining rooms. I went next door to our mom's room. Our mom. And I was like, I didn't freak out. Can you believe it?

Everyone's like. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We need to go out to dinner. Right now. We have something to celebrate. You know what?

Bring the charger too. The charge is the part of the family. Our youngest sibling. They deserve it. Can you bring it? Like at one point, I do want to meet this charger. Oh my God, yeah. I'll show it to you.

It's pretty lit. One of the things on it, though, it's like two USB ports and like two plugs. And the last plug is literally burned out because I plugged a heater into it once. And it literally burned it. It's black. Like it's literally cinched. But everything else were. works. So you

straight up burned a port and was like, I'm going to still use this. I'm not getting rid of it. You're going to have to bury me with that thing, I'm convinced. And your arms and your cats are like in loving memory of Drew and her charger. Instead of flowers, it's that charger.

I will be in charge of creating the whole like slideshow. Oh, I love. With you and just the, it's just the charger. You like literally plugging it in. You're going to sleep with it at night. On the beach together. A whole slide show. At Disneyland.

With the phantasmic soundtrack in the background Wait It's a deal That's gonna eat That's a sleigh I want that for my funeral That's a big sleigh And if you cremate me

Creamate that too Put it in there So yeah Me and the Charger It's me My boyfriend And then the charger A throuple

Sleep with it in the middle of the night It's like In the middle of us Wait like the Chargers Like fully personified And it's like fully like Crawling into bed with John It's like come on in

That kind of scares me I mean, but would it really? Like, because you're so attached to this thing. Like, if that really happened, I'm pretty sure you shed a tear. Actually, I'm pretty sure you'd be like, wait. I'd be like, wow, you're so grown up now. Our first born. I know, after my dog.

Oh, wait. Can I see a picture of your dog? Yes. Oh, my God. I'll show everyone a picture of my dog. I take pictures. I'm, you know what's so embarrassing? It's like, I'm just like that girl now.

Like, my camera roll is literally all pictures of my dog. Like, the way to make it to like the actual lock screen. yet or not yet? No, not yet. It's on its way. It's on its way. You know, it's not far off. I won't lie to you. Yeah, that one picture's going to do it where you're like, this is it forever. This is literally, look at this picture. Wait, is this in point five? Yeah. The ears. Can you guys see this? Can you guys see this? Literally, I love, I love him so much. It's so goofy. His name is Squid. Squid? Yeah. That's the best thing ever. But anyways, speaking of authentic self, Squids always his authentic self, speaking of.

But what do you want to tell people who are kind of like in that interim where they're really searching for their authentic self, whether it's online or just in general, what would you want to want them to know? I think my very first piece of advice would be, this is something I tell myself every day, is to like be patient with yourself because whether or not you're controlling, like maybe we are with ourselves or like more present, like your boyfriend. Yeah. I feel like patience is so required because look like I'm my worst I'm my worst enemy like I'm out against myself like I'm that spider man I mean that's like literally like I'm trying to get you you know literally saying but be patient with yourself know that change doesn't happen overnight that you're not going to become this idealized version of yourself tomorrow maybe yeah but that it is in the future that this version of yourself that you want to be does exist. as long as one, you put in the work for it, two, you are patient with yourself,

three, that you know your worth, know who to surround yourself with. Yeah. And with that, I don't think you can really fail. Yeah, absolutely. I think, too, a big key to, like, finding your authentic self is learning how to love yourself. That's the biggest one. So I'd say, I would say that, too, to piggyback off what you said is to, like, work towards a lot of self-acceptance and self-love.

because a lot of times at that point, that's where you'll start to really find the things you love, like, whether it's like how you want to dress or how you want to do your hair, how you want to do your makeup, or how you want to present, I think a huge key component of that is like coming from, like, I love myself enough to know,

this is what I want. Right. And what you deserve. Right. And like, it doesn't matter if I'm different. It doesn't matter if it comes off different, that this is me. And I'm fully aware, but also accepting of that.

Love. Big sleigh. Big, giantormous sleigh. Thank you so much to the wonderful, amazing, Austin for joining me today. Thank you. I absolutely adore you. I feel like I just went through, like, therapy. Love.

But also, I feel like I just reunited with my wombmate. Womb mates? From the womb to the tomb. We're not only roommates, but we're womb mates. We're wombates. We're wombis. Yeah. But can we coin that?

Like, we're wombies. Whomies. All the twins, like, being like, That's not, you're not real, but we are. Well, how do you know? You don't. Our mom's right there. She's literally two steps to my left.

So don't gaslight our mother. Thank you. You're not going to gaslight me. Absolutely, not us. Because we're being vulnerable and authentic. Yeah, as we should. As a true girl boss. As you should always.

And I also want to thank Eos for sponsoring today's episode. If you really love this episode of the comments I can show, make sure you stream it on all streaming platforms. Also, the full episode. The visual component drops every Wednesday. And if you make sure that you want to see when the episodes drop, make sure you subscribe to the Pasture Red Time YouTube channel. And thank you all so much for joining me.

I'll see you next week. Bye!