The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - WE'RE DADA Ft. Hannah Berner | Episode 227

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

Finally, Hannah Berner is on the show this week! Drew and Hannah talk about why you should never settle for an awful boyfriend, leveling up after a breakup, giving men nicknames, ghostwriting texts for your friends, Hannah dominating tournaments on her high school men's tennis team, the rom-com moment she first saw her husband at a standup show, and so much more.Watch Hannah's new standup special, None of My Business, our now on Hulu!!Hannah IG: https://www.instagram.com/hannahberner/Hannah Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannah_bernerFollow The Comment Section on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ugly people cheat too. Yeah, if you can believe, ugly people suck too. I would argue ugly men. Cheat a lot more. Cheat a lot more because they're insecure. Yeah, I've also. Really good-looking men have seen enough tits. They're tired.

By 35, they're like, I've seen them all. I'm good. I just want a cigarette and too relaxed. Welcome back to another episode of the comment section show. Sorry, me, your favorite. Everybody knows me. Who cares about me? On to the guest today, we have the iconic, the hilarious, the legendary.

Hannah Burner. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me. Oh my God, I'm so happy to have you. We've literally met for three seconds. We have. But we were saying.

And we've already kissed at least twice. Before the cameras came on. We went to third base. We were lightening it up. It was crazy. I'll climb you like a tree. You won't have to climb that far. You're tall too.

Yeah, I'm 5.7. No, I was saying in my friend group, I'm the tall one. You and me both sister. I put girls in my pockets. Right. I carry their baggage for them. I'm Dada and you're Dada. I'm Daddy.

Yeah, like when we go out, same. No, my bestie page, I'm her boyfriend. You're her man. I'm her man. You're her man. I'm her man. But no, I'm so excited to be here. You, um, I feel like we both are men's like sleep paralysis demons in different ways.

Yeah, we're sandwiching them for real. So like I just artist to artists, I just want to say, I love your work. Lover of the game to lover of the game. Yeah. All his life. And people express it in different ways, but. I appreciate your hard work out there in the streets. Honestly,

likewise. I think honestly, I think that's why we feel spiritually connected. Yeah, I think that's, we've literally never spent time with each other. No, but it feels like we have.

Also, you're close with Teffi. Yes, I'm close with Teffi. So when you text Teffi, I feel like you texted me. Is that a thing? You're like,

no, we're going to. No, we just recently exchanged numbers. So now we're for real. Yes. Now when I text Teffi, I will text you,

for real. I love a group chat, throwing a little, a little emoji, a little gif. I love a little group chat too. Oh, yeah. I've been naming group chats a lot lately. I feel like this business is nothing but fucking emails and group chats.

Like, that's all. I mean, two billion group chats. But I do have to say, like, we talk about stand-up comedy, you talk about great TikToks. Yeah. A good timed gif and a group chat, like, that's legendary. Right. When everyone's reacting to yours. When you're killing.

Yeah. And you know, also when you have to be like, I got to say this right now or someone else is gonna get ahead of it and we'll lose the moment. Also, when you change the group title without like warning people and it hits, grow up. I stay doing that too, changing the names. Yes. I did that once when we were, we were in Ireland and. Yeah, what a trip.

When we had left, we were like, well, like half of us had left already. Some of us were still staying. And so we were out in a group chat is me, my sister, Caleb and Brittany. And so we were all texting in there and like just like, super gushy stuff like, God, I love you guys. Like the universe brings friends into your life that you just, you know, you're getting real emotion.

Yeah. And so you're like sending these insanely heartfelt messages to each other. And we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my sister responded a little bit later when we had already kind of started moving away from that and started being funny. But she was, we were still in the moment. So we were still reacting and stuff.

But then it was just poorly timed. My sister sent like a really heartfelt text and like right above it. At the same time, I had changed the group name to something super. super awful and terrible and I can't say, only because it won't make sense to you. And I don't want to have to explain the joke. But it was just like Caleb screenshot

and he was like, no perfect timing, Drew. But that's also range. I'm glad to change the name. That's the range of a friend group. I love having like the darkest talk. Like before I go on stage sometimes with my opener, I'll be like, so then like, when did you feel like it was that moment in your life that you were like, are we going to make it? And then I'm like,

go have fun out there. I'm not doing small chat. Yeah. But they're a small jet. I'm like so in high school like was the bullying like how intense is it? Oh shit, you got to go on stage. Go be funny. Bye bitch.

They're like, hey, you're on in five by the way. Honestly, okay, that's a perfect transition. Oh, we want to talk about the new special. How exciting. Oh my God. Thank you. Oh, my God. Second special.

Thank you. Period. Look at you. Well, look. Cranking them out. After the first special, they were like, okay, you're going to do second special. And I'm like, that's such a, like, don't be. Like, don't be stupid.

It seems selfish. It just seems like too much like in this age of capital. I'm like, how much shit do we need? You need a whole other. And it's also not like coming up with a new song. It's like three minutes. It's like a whole new fucking hour. Yeah.

I do think with stand-up, I love being in a male-dominated space. And I love taking up space. And I love how people will be like, oh, like men, like women talk too much. And it's like men have ESPN. Like we all are talking a lot. Your podcast is short compared to male podcasts. Right. I'm telling you.

And at least it's entertaining. Shit. I've never heard a man talk for 45 minutes straight and been intrigued. I do to say the last per minute on your pod, like, should be studied. 100%. Let me see the date on that. Right. Someone online figured that out out.

Yeah, someone get on it. The scientists get on it. The women in STEM get on that. And women specifically, please get on it. Or gay in STEM. Why don't people say gay in STEM? Are gay guys? You guys are in STEM.

I'm not sure. I don't know. You should ask. Let us know. If you're gay and in STEM, let us know. I don't want any, like, male surgeons who aren't gay. like doing work on your body or your face. No, why would you?

That's why I feel about male gynaecologist. What's the matter with you? That should be illegal. What's the matter with you? Yeah, also like, so you're a pervert. That means like, you're a doctor pervert. You had a choice, you decided to be a pervert. Like, you're not even hiding that you're a pervert.

You know what they're doing? They're almost, that's what PhD stands for a perv. Yeah. But you know what they'll do? They'll be like, you'll be like, you're a pervert for thinking I'm a pervert for that. They try to turn on you. I'm like, what are we? A Russian doll?

Here we are. Fucking perv. Perv on perv. I, no, I've never had it. And I'll do a male masseuse. Right. I'll go to second base. I don't care.

But I'm, no. Absolutely not. And I know gay guys are not becoming, gay guys are not becoming gynaecologist because that's gross. Yeah. Straight men are being fucking weird. They're being weird. That's why I said. You're being purve.

I know it. I know it to be true. That's why we've barely any research in it because they don't work. They're just poking around. Okay, so the special. Back to the special. Now that we've gone over Dr. Purve, back to the special. Okay, I would love to know how you felt going into the special.

After having done your first one, how did you feel going into this one? My first special, I was so nervous. My first special, I full on had like out of body. Like every anxiety, panic attack. I always say like when you're trying to get to that next level in your life, the universe will be like, we're not. not letting you get there until you actually face those demons that you thought you overcame yeah so it was scary because like performing a film stand-up set you got to nail that

yeah and it was like shit talk about one and done because I love a live a live moment yeah energy the vibes oopsie poopsie I messed up ha ha ha silly silly yeah but live it's like a lot of pressure and I was a tennis player and I dealt with like a lot of pressure at my past and it's all you like When you fuck up, you go home and you have to look in the mirror and be like, you're fucking loser. You're all, God, it's my team. It's my team. It's my team. Yeah, team.

You just blame the girl next to you. You're like, maybe you should have tried harder next time. You're a team of one. Your team. I'm a team of one. It's me fighting with myself and I'm being like, we don't fucking do you do that. And Hannah was a for real tennis player, period. I love an athletic bitch, period.

Oh my God. Thank you. But also, I know, people make fun of me for, like, talking about tennis, which I do talk about a lot. But it's like what I did and what I know. And if I was a dude who. played basketball, they'd be like, former basketball player. He played in high school. I don't know if you know this, but I did play basketball at one point in my life. But I am also that girl who's, who will talk about like an injury I had in college like a fuck boy on a date, but maybe that's

my feminism. Like going up to men and making them hear about my college tennis career. Yes. It's like Taylor Swift playing guitar for Travis Kelsey every night. Like that's, that's what I've actually, I love that shit. You're gentrifying their space. Yes. You're taking up their time. Girls need to start just playing bad guitar at night. I feel like this is the podcast where we can start those types of movements. Right, yeah. Start being annoying in any way. Really annoying.

The way that they are. Like I was like, they are extremely annoying. Learn. Many ways. Turn it on them. You have to unil reverse it. So when you were building the hour for this new special. Yes.

Like how did you find that to be like a little bit easier? Did it feel like less pressure this time when you were building the hour? At first I panicked. Okay. Because what's annoying about stand-up is when you, it airs, it's called like, it's burned. So that means I always, to do a sports analogy, it's like, it's like winning the Super Bowl. You got your Netflix special. And then you have to start learning how to play football again.

Yeah. So then you go to the club with no material and you're like, our canckel's funny. Like you start from scratch. And I was like, how am I going to do a whole other hour of jokes? but then you remember you weren't funny because of that specific wording of that specific joke right at the end of the day it was like your creative brain and who you are so this hour i actually feel like i obviously improved as a stand-up but i was like sillier more myself you know like when you're with a friend group you fuck with you start being like lucy or goosey or you're like i'm gonna go for a risk on this one and then it works you're like ah crazy i can't restaned and there's no that's like the warmness that i want to bring to my specials where you're just like i'm gonna go for a risk on this one and then it works you're like i can't restought and there's no that's like the warmness that i want to bring to my specials where you're just like everyone feels comfortable yeah i think that's that's really cool too and i think it speaks to like you saying like you're becoming more confident too and your ability to be a stand-up and like move as

one that's fucking awesome that you felt more confident oh my god thank you i also feel like stand-up has certain ways that you're like supposed to go about it right and i think if i had gone the very old school way as a woman like i wouldn't have made it here yeah and i think that the internet and TikTok and group chats is like where the girls are shining. For real. A lot of, I always talk about it, but there'd be more women in stand-up if when you went to a drunken bar at 9 p.m. in the Bronx and no one laughed. A lot of hilarious women are like, maybe this isn't for me.

No, for real. If you're honestly like just not a straight white man and you go into those spaces, something happens and you go, maybe I should go into accounting. Like that's what happened. And I think because they like refuse to laugh, even if it is funny. Yeah. And it's from big things to little things that happened to you. So I feel like I'm excited for this new wave of comics based off of the internet.

I mean, memes are the girls in the games. That's true. I mean, we are working creating it. Everything funny and interesting has always been created by marginalized people. It's never, I've never in my life seen something created by a straight white man and been like, that's fucking awesome. I have never in my life felt that way. Well, because trauma. Right.

Like, if you haven't had trauma, you're not funny. You're not interesting. I don't want to hear from someone who doesn't, hasn't faced like really hard times. Right. For real. And they overcame it by finding the light in the darkness, which is like corny as fuck. But like. But it's true.

It's so true. Yeah. And but that's why it's crazy. Like Netflix, like why are there no, like, why aren't there multiple gay guys? Yeah. And gay girls on Netflix. For real. And I always say that the gay girls paved the way for me.

Yeah. Because they don't give a fuck what men think. No, for real. So they walk in the room and they're not like, you know, do I look cute enough? Did he look at me weird? They don't give a fuck. They're just doing their art. Yeah, they're just, they're focusing on what they love, which is being funny.

And that's why I think so many lesbians like, yeah, they paved the way for the straight girls. Hell yeah, absolutely. Even though I am lesbian passing. Right. You and me both. In that sense, yeah. Because we could throw a ball. Yeah.

Well, yeah. I think it's, I also think it's just like. me giving dada but that's also just like i think i'm extremely straight looking and and and generally like energy but i think it's also just because i'm so fucking mean to men i was gonna say and that's exclusive to lesbians you don't look scared yeah you don't and you're not afraid of a man not liking you no never and that's power i'm kind of hoping for it oh if a man likes you talk to yourself about that check on that let's revisit that if a man gets good vibes from you if he's like there's something i liked about her no yeah

You want to give off something like, no, for real. She made me uncomfortable. That's. Or if you like make a video and it's only men agreeing with you, you're like, oh my God, I'm on the wrong side of history. Oh no, I've made a terrible, terrible choice. I've had some female comics be like, how do you have only female fans? And I'm like, because that's who I'm talking to.

For real. The men know that it's not a welcome. They're probably not going to enjoy it that much over here. Which is how it should be. Yeah. And I think the boyfriends have started to come to the. the shows which that's good is it's a problem it's not what i anticipated it's not the energy i want but i do like building tension in the room to like call each other everyone out right and it's

funny because i also think it's important like i want the men to listen though because i have shit to say that i'm sliding in that is like important i yeah if you're going to be here take notes and be quiet yes i always say my stand-up the guys that showed up this is probably the longest they've ever listened to a woman talk without interrupting Right. And sometimes they'll still try. Oh my God. Whenever a man even laughs too loud, I'm like, who's chaperoning him? So you're talking over women. No, let a woman speak.

So you're going to talk over me. Let a woman speak. We're five minutes in and you're ready giving your opinion. Also, like, no one cares that you thought it was funny. Let women laugh. I don't care that you thought it was funny. No. Also, it's giving performative. Like, oh, we're women. Like, shut the fuck up. That wasn't even a real laugh. I can fucking tell. You would die because at the end of my show, I would, your, your crowd woke. with men would be because you're doing crowd work but just alone with yourself yeah that's what

caleb told me yeah like you're coming for them and you're like i got the mic and you're not saying right exactly so at the end of every show it was almost like research i asked men if they ever thought about what sex feels like for a woman right let's just start with that the answer's crazy like that was a set up question they literally be like no and i'm like that was literally a set up question and how do I teach men empathy on this theater show in one minute. We don't have the time. And then I'd say, can you think of an adjective, which is a describing word, for what sex feels like for a woman?

The answers I got, it's like they've never walked this earth before. Yeah, for real, they woke up yesterday. One guy said warm. Warm? Oh, geez. Yeah, from sweating on top of me, you're right. And I'm like, no, we're warm. Yeah.

You're not warm. You feel warm. Once again, you're thinking about you. Yes, I've never been cold and been like, if I had a dick in me, I'd be warm right now. Yeah. Sorry, Mom. God, I'm freezing. I wish someone was here.

I wish I had penetration. No, if any, no. One other guy said stabbing. I had to stop the show. Stab, right, okay. No, yeah, all right. Stabbing. Call the cops on him.

They do all the, like, you know, exciting. And I'm like, yeah, I've never finished sex and been like, exciting. That was so exciting. On my special, some guy said teamwork. I said there's teamwork. That's not even a descriptive word. That's not an adjective. I've lost more faith in the male speech.

Since like doing, I've been in the rooms, Drew. I'm talking to the specimens. Yeah, you're getting ground, like ground floor. Yes. Boots on the ground. And it's not looking good. And then I'm looking at their girlfriend. I'm like, this conversation in the car going home is going to be a journey.

Hey, hopefully you guys fight on the way home. Yeah, hopefully you work some. stuff out because I'm just speaking truths up here I'm not doing crowdwork actually I'm just nosy on stage actually right you have to be you have a curious mind that's important thank you you're like looking at me I'm multitasking I'm entertaining and I'm also researching yeah and I also can sense like when a guy is going to have a really bad answer yeah when you do it so much like just the length of his sleeve even like you know it's like a little too long for a little too many wrinkles a weird earring that it's like we're in Minnesota what's going on like little new a facial hair that's just

not right yeah it's a little off and I could how they're sitting I'm like you scared yeah I could smell fear you would fucking lot oh my god well you've done live shows I've done live shows yeah I've done I've done stand up twice well a couple yeah twice and then I've done like live comedy like with my sister when we go on tour and do podcast which is I mean obviously like you I'm sure very few men I do an opening bit though every time we perform where I'm like is there anyone here that has no idea who the fuck we are and came as a plus one almost always they're men and so always big man nice shocker but I'm like okay well I hope you guys enjoy the show you know have a good time laugh and if you don't I have your money so I actually don't

give a buck I don't fucking care either way I don't care and that's feminism yeah there you go yeah making it listen to you which reminds me I love asking female comics like if you've ever been given notes on your sets. Like, that's like one of my favorite questions to ask because it's always. Oh, all the time. And it's funny, from an athlete perspective, it's like being a tennis player and a guy like watching you hit and trying to give you notes. And I'm like, I'll literally whoop your ass right now.

You know what? Stand right there and I'm going to hit the ball as hard as I can. How about that? Yeah. I actually first kind of wanted to be a sports broadcaster. Me too. Really? Yeah, I did.

Wait, me and you. Welcome back to Diego. Wait, I'm obsessed with us. We should take that gig that they gave Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart. But they should give it to us. Oh my gosh. So we can commentate sports. That's literally my dream.

Oh my God. Okay, me manifesting. Wait, manifesting. I'm in L.A., so suddenly I'm like, ma-law-law. Wait, I'm obsessed with that because, yeah, I want to be a sports broadcaster, and I come from, like, a basketball family, and I love interviewing people. Love. Nick's fan?

Are you excited about them? My dad cried last night. My dad hasn't shed a tear since 1999. He was crying on the phone. It's that running joke that, like, if they win or lose, everyone get out, stay out of New York. if you're not from there. My dad would literally disown me to smell Jalen Brunson.

But I come from like my grandpa was a basketball coach in Brooklyn. Very cool. And he was one of those literally guys that they make, they talk about in movies where he'd see like a tall guy on the street and be like, you're making it to college, you're coming to high school. Like crazy. Like just insane Brooklyn in the 70s, if you can imagine. Yeah.

So then in college I was like, I went to Wisconsin playing tennis and I had to do a game. my last year and I was like are you guys badgers the be edgers yeah and it was a little culture shock for me but yeah we learned we grew we had a lot of cheese I learned I need lactate lactate um yeah which you love yes I do I'm very familiar with lactate that's what we DM about if you're wondering what's under the surface that's true let me looking at the camera for that so anyway I yeah at Wisconsin I started doing interviews and the man would come up to to me before I had to go on camera and be like, do you know what a double double is? And I had to look at like, first of all, do you think I like accidentally fell in this?

And I'm just lying my way through like, yes. Like do you think that I'm just like, girl who's giving a microphone? I don't know what I'm doing. Why am I here? And I remember getting fucking angry. Yeah. And the like the constant just like little assumptions that I don't know anything. Yeah.

And then I had to move to like a. small town to start if I wanted to do sports broadcasting and I was I was like I want to go back to New York City and ended up cold calling blah blah blah but long story short it was because I felt like it was so sexist that I kind of was like I'm not in the mood for this right and then I found myself in stand-up comedy but I feel like that was when I was like stronger and ready to right totally I just love disrupting male spaces and that's like what I was put on this earth for you're telling me bitch so anyway that's what I love you but I feel like we do it in in a way that's so tasteful.

Yeah, and it's also really authentic to us. And it's weird, I didn't know, I didn't know that you started doing interviews and stuff in college, which is so interesting because that's what I did too. So I grew up an athlete. So I played soccer my whole life. So that was my main sport, but I tore my ACL in high school.

And so then I literally frat guys right now. In high school, I told me ACL. I would have gone pro. I was going to go pro if it wasn't for my knee. But I really, when I tore everything in my knee, I for real thought to myself, okay this isn't forever so what do I want to do instead and I and I started thinking about what I wanted to do so I wanted to work in sports and I was like I wanted to do broadcasting literally on my

resume like my my reels and all that stuff I wrote that I wanted to be the next Bob Costas because I'm I came from a football family yeah yeah so everybody loved football my dad loves basketball too remember when he had a pink guy during the Olympics do you remember that yes that's like the one thing I remember about Bob Costa and the whole time he had the biggest pink eye you know CBS or whoever the fuck was like right this is happening yeah being paid like $400 million. You better get the hell out there. But also, only a man.

Only a man could show up with a full pussy pink eye. And be this close to the cat of a pussy pink eye. Imagine. It's crazy. They would have put us in an eye patch. They say, you're gross. Nobody wants to see it. But everyone was like, Bob causes his experience.

Okay. Looks like he's seen stuff. Anyway, I interrupts. But I experienced the same. You wanted to be Bob. Yeah, I experienced the same thing. interviewing in college talking to athletes like especially how interviewing them was also painful um i don't know if this is shocking to hear but a lot of them are not very eloquent well

cTE is a real thing it's very and i did i joke i did cTE charity all through college for free i dated these men i talked to these men i did their homework i i helped them you and me both i told them what a major was yeah literally i helped them like get from place to play Right. Literally, I, and I remember one time I was interviewing someone, and he told me, which, I mean, I did end up dating this person, but that is neither here nor there. He literally told me, like, in an interview while I was interviewing him, he was like, you know, normally I get asked to do interviews because I'm one of the smartest guys on the team. And I'm like, oh, word, yeah, for sure. As I'm like interviewing him and then through, I wish to the stay, I could remember what it was, but he made up a word. And it was one of those words. It was like, oh, what's the one where they, he's a visionary. Yeah, so it's one of those like conversated.

Like, you know, like, conversated is not a word. It was something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he made up a word like right after he said that to me. And I was like, yeah. Okay, I'll fuck around with you for a couple more months and then, you know. That's the thing. Then I'm done.

You're like, okay, there's four more months left than that. I swear to God, my dude texted me the word isn't. And he spelled it, I, S-I-N-T. It is, okay. And I was like, I have to speak up for women. Like, this is bigger than me. And I was, he literally, I responded. And he was like, I'm tired from practice.

And I was like, you don't add a letter when you're tired. That's crazy behavior. That's not what that's called. But he was getting concussed. Like he would see like colors, but he couldn't tell the coach because then they'd take him out. And he couldn't go pro, whatever. So I'm just watching his brain just shriveling up. But he was a large man.

That was a tall man. He would throw me around. I was like, I'll stay with you. I'll keep going. And you know what? All right. I'll see it through. You know, every now and then feeling dainty.

I've always been drawn to larger men, so I was a jersey chaser, if you will, in college. But I would argue you're not a jersey chaser if you are an athlete. That's true. That's just, we're just running parallel at that point. We're pacing. That's just trying to have a division one child. Yeah, you talk about that, right? That's true.

I pitched that to Caleb because I don't want kids personally. But I've told Caleb, I was like, I mean, obviously I don't want to ever be pregnant, but if you put, if my egg mixed with his sperm, in my body. Holy Olympian. D1. Olympian. And he was like, well, now I'm going to have to consider.

Because he loves football, which I was like, you know what? And look. Listen. But it's true. If I was a large man in college and I saw you, start humping your leg. I'd be like Nike sponsorship out of the womb. But also your poor pussy. Like, that baby would be fucking huge.

Yeah, no way. That's why even my man like now is like, he's. six four so he's a big dude and like if like we he was like a 11 or 12 pound baby and I was like a I was a nine pound almost 10 pound baby I feel like that's a good I should talk about that more often like how much does you weigh when you came out of the one is that a lot like yeah they're like let's talk about baby's bodies yeah yeah that's not that's not I go you were nine oh interesting yeah I know I was a big ass fucking baby and my brother was born after who was the last baby my mom had he was almost 11 pounds because my dad's a huge dude so it's like yeah it's not in the stars for me

worked out that i don't want kids because holy fuck you know what i mean oh jesus christ can't do it yeah you don't even have to pee it would just fall out whenever you drank water they'd go right through right for real just douche right out my fucking pussy no vaginas are very powerful and they adopt that is that's true literally well that's what i don't understand what men call women lose because I'm like so a girl who's getting hooking up with her boyfriend do you hook up with your boyfriend a girl who's having sex with her boyfriend every single day for three years right is tighter than a girl who has sex with a different guy every month because she's single and he's like the math is a math he's like you don't get it I'm doctor pervert you don't understand I went to school for this shit okay

so listen to me how's that dummy the footage of a a gynecologist like teaching room just full of a bunch of dudes like talking and they and they all still don't know what a clit is Crazy to skip the cook. Yeah, I was like, you studied the whole inside, huh? Didn't figure out the outside? Nice. Well, what's the worst piece of advice you've ever been given on, on like jokes? Or like one of the most memorable times someone gave you.

Oh, yeah, guys, giving me notes and stuff. Yeah. I actually have a joke that made it on my Hulu special where I joke about like I'm a reality TV six. I'm a stand-up comedy 17. And like I joke about how stand-up comedians are kind of like serial killers that we don't have to be that good looking to be considered ridiculously good looking and I make fun of like a Ted Bunny's not that hot and like whatever and I was working on that joke and a guy pulled me aside he was like you know it's kind of hack to like to do like oh I'm a you know LA 6 or whatever and I was like yeah that wasn't the bit I was I was doing right but then part of me

this is so sad a lot of the time like guys will watch other guys like at the club when there's a show and then when a girl goes on stage all the guys just leave yeah like they don't even want to watch it course not so then I was like well thank you you for listening. I love attention. Wait, so you stay for my set. You say for my set. All right.

I'm obsessed with that. Someone's a fan. But I also like in comedy I, I, because it was like my second, third career. Yeah. I didn't have a huge ego. Like it didn't define me. And I just like tried to learn from the people around me. And then like when I could sense that it was just like there you go, I was, I would

just be kind of like, thank you. I appreciate your work. I love your. I know. Thank you for your time. When I talked to Mary Beth once, she was like, like oh yeah one time i left the club and he followed me out and was like giving me notes on my set yeah as i'm walking out and he was like why aren't she writing this down she said writing this down

this homework that's why would i do that no i'm not entertaining i you're just talking at me i didn't ask like you're just kind of following me and saying words i haven't been listening the whole time you've been talking so it's so funny i do think also yeah commanding a room i guess is a like masculine quality But I think women are the leaders. Right. Like we're the leaders in every family. Yeah, I disagree. I think commanding a room is just when you're it.

Like when you have it. True. Right. So it's like it's so specific to people who like just have it. The ability to capture an audience, right, is is an inherent trait to some people and a real struggle to others. Well, it's funny. People do, they get very impressed with stand up because it's like a big fear for a lot of people. And they'll be like, how do you do it?

And I'm like, my brain's just weird. where like I'm scared to drive, but like I can talk in front of 2,000 people. And that's my, that's my journey in this life. Like I just got my driver's lives. That was gifted to me. Yeah, like, for some reason, something's twisted where I'm like, this is safe. Yeah. This is safe.

But like me trying to drive 10 miles per hour, I'm like, something bad's going to happen. That's right. I know you're a notorious not driver. Yes. I don't like to drive. Well, I'm a city girl. Yeah, that's true. You're a New Yorker.

I'm a New Yorker. Yeah. Which I try to make it like, it's a cool thing. But at some point, my mom was like, it would be nice, like, if something happened to someone that you could get in a car. Yeah, you should probably have that general skill. Yeah, so that's, I, all last summer, that was my goal to get my driver's license. And I was like, I had a therapist about it.

Like, it was intense. But because I literally was like writing, like, I'm going to pass my driver's to something. Because it got kind of mental for me. Yeah, totally. Also, like, having a man judging a woman driving, that feels sex. It was so misogyny. No, it's literally setting me up for failure. well at the DMV I see.

I would love to see the stats. I think they're harder on the female drivers. Oh, I'm sure. And I'm like, I'm sure they fucking are. And so I also try to come in like kind of like, I didn't want to dress too cute. Like I was really like, you know, I was going for an audition. Yeah.

Like I was like, this is the, I came with a blazer. I was like, I'm a serious driver. Business professional driver. Yes, my hair back. My hair back and no makeup. Right. But I passed it. I passed it.

Yes. You know, they don't. you anymore at the moment if you passed it because there were physical altercations happening. Really? Because people, they'd be like, you didn't pass and they'd get into like huge fights. Just immediately swing on them. Yeah. That's crazy.

The DMV is iconic. Yeah, even when I, I remember when I got my license, it was at the DMV right by my, in my hometown. And there was like, you know, like kids from my high school were all getting their driver's license and stuff. And there was a known, like, instructor there that would fail everybody. And so my first morning, I was like one of the first appointments. I was so nervous. And he like walked up to my car because you need to like pull up. And I like, he walked up to my car and he was and I was like, of course I fucking get this guy.

Of course I do. And then he came to my window and he like said a name that was not my name. And I was like, oh, no, that's not me. And he was like, oh. And he went to the car behind me and then I got a different guy. The universe came in. Yeah, I got so lucky. God, literally was like not today.

Yeah. We were like, she needs it. She needs the win. But to have someone watching. you, it's like, have you ever, like, typed in front of someone? Like, you just forget how to do it. Or when you're, like, trying to find something to show someone that's funny and it's

taking too long and you're like, just free, I swear it's, forget it, it's fine. How come every photo in your phone that you've ever had to show someone is never there? Right when I'm trying to show them. Right when you need it. It's like the climax of my story. Also, fuck all these DMV people that get off on failing kids. I mean, look, mostly these teen people shouldn't be driving. Of course, I, I was in my 30s when I went, but still.

Oh, you too. No, I wasn't. I was like, look at us together and you go, babe. We're not in a... I got mine late for a teen. I got mine when I was 17. Yeah. I think about to be 18.

So that's when I got mine. Keep bragging. Oh, yeah. I was a sturdy 30. I was a late 32. I was late into my early 30s. Maybe he just felt bad for me. I did pass, but I haven't really driven since because I don't have to.

It's okay. All you had to do was conquer the feet. I have a husband. Like that's called a driver. Oh yeah. My man drives too. He prefers to drive, which I, which I am like awesome because I don't want to drive. I love empowering them in ways that they feel like that's perfect.

Useful. Yeah, because I actually don't fuck with directions because I'm a creative. So I let him like show me where it is. And like I don't want to be involved in logistics. Like that's not my purpose on this planet. Yeah, no, no, no. To get under paperwork and stuff. No, thank you.

It's so funny how we both have a man's that we, he's there. Yeah, he's just kind of there. And honestly, if you find a man that adds value to your life, not to fully red pill this pod, but if he adds value, perfect. Why would you keep a guy that doesn't bring value? I agree.

If he's smart and he believes in you and you can bounce stuff off him and he doesn't have a CTE, then keep him around if he makes you feel like you want to be around him. Right. Well, and I'm sure you get this question a lot too because of that, which like I do, but I get a lot of people asking me or him, if they ever meet him, like, how, like, almost like how he's able to be with me, like,

and not feel, like, weird. And it's a lot of times it's coming from women and it's, it's in earnest. It's very, like, did you have to do something to kind of get there? Like, one of my friends asked him once, and he was like, I mean, no, I didn't have to, like, work to get there because, like, all of the things you're describing are reasons why I, I was drawn to her. So, like, it would be crazy for me to be with her and then want to get. get rid of it.

No, I want to cry. No one but you're going to cry. It's very, like, to him, it's very simple. He's like, no, I, like, I would be crazy to think that other people wouldn't love her for the reasons I love her. Like, obviously, I love her. Like, he's like, it makes sense that so many people love her because I do. Like, it's the same thing. Well, it's interesting because that's layered, like, him liking you, despite, like, you being so vocal about hating men.

Right. People get confused about that. And I'm like, because he knows he's not the men I'm making fun of. Because guess who's also making fun of the kind of men I make fun of him? He's on my side being like, I can't stand that, I can't stand that. And it is fun to feel like you have like a spy. And I'm like, what are the men talk? What did we get here?

And my husband, like, he's just like big white gray hair dude. Like he looks maga. Like he's so funny. People go to his comedy shows thinking they're going to get some kind of. And he just turns it on them. And I kind of feel like that's. That's beautiful too for him to be able to bring in all kinds of people and trick them into listening to them. Absolutely. Because sometimes they will only hear it from people who look like that.

Exactly. So that's why they're imperative too. And sometimes I like having those conversations with him to be like, why are men doing this? Right. Why do you think this is happening? And where do you think we're misunderstood. But that's where I started that like I had this hand on the street series with male comics. Yes. Where I was like, they were comfortable with me, which is why I could push it. Yeah, because I don't, I don't want to, like, get anyone in trouble or, like, have anyone lose their job. Right. That would be fun, though.

But, like, it's more I wanted the guys. I would ask them stuff about women. And sometimes it became very, like, eye-opening. Yeah. And it was good to have those conversations with them. Right. I've talked to about, like, obviously, I joke about hating men all the time. And I talk about how, like, they start guilty and then they have to prove themselves innocent in my eyes, which I think is a very fair way to move.

And, like, I've, like, gotten. like out of my way almost to like explain not for men but for women specifically who get afraid of vocalizing those feelings that like it's a form of protection which I think we've earned right like women have been violated in more ways than you could ever imagine for thousands of years if anything what I'm doing what you're doing I always say is like tip of the fucking iceberg like you guys are lucky that I was only born recently you know what I'm saying like imagine if I was more hundreds of years ago, like, bitch, I would have been lighting that shit up. Like, that's what I'm saying.

Like, in every re-encarriage. There's laws now. Yeah, every reincarnation of me, bitch, is antagonizing men because they can't help but violate women. So it's like, it's one of those things where I'm like, you can feel safe to vocalize how you feel because that is the only reason women even have rights today is because of women like that. Women, women who refuse to be quiet about it is the only reason you and I are able to talk about

it, let alone make money off of it. And that's why I laugh when they say things like, oh, she, He's like profiting off of women's misery. What? I am extorting someone for sure for money, and I can promise you it's not women who love me. It's awful men who can't shut the fuck up. Like, I am literally using and abusing your stupidity to build an empire.

Like, I stand on the shoulders of men who hate me. Like, my bestselling book is purely because men are so fucking awful. Women are now like, I'm going to buy a book and I'm going to learn how to fucking decenter them. I'm going to do that. We all see it, but you fucking verbalize it. put it into fucking a thesis, a hypothesis, a conclusion. You fucking write it out. Every time I think you're done, you're like, and another thing.

And I've also said, too, I'm like, you guys think you need me to make women hate you. Girl, you, that PR is all your own. What are you talking about, bitch? Like, they really think they're like, you're convincing women to hate men. Bitch, please. I was like, you want to hate men? Just spend a couple minutes with one. Hang out with one for about 10 minutes.

You'll find a couple reasons. But also, let's start from the beginning. some of these men hate us right yeah like there's so many women like you're in a relationship and then one day you're like i don't love him because he hates me like i this problem but like our podcast so many girls are like hey thank you so much i finally broke up with my boyfriend like we're getting girls to like just same yeah oh i'm a home wrecker bitch i'm like i'm wrecking that home oh whenever someone gets divorced i always say congratulations me too What am I going to be like, I'm like, whatever you were in, you had the balls to get out of there to find something better.

Absolutely. Because life is too short to stay with the wrong. I agree. And just because you spent 10 years with one doesn't mean you have to spend the next 30. 100% because we all evolve. Also, some of these men, they are fun in the beginning. And they are convincing in the beginning. Right.

And they are tall in the beginning. Right. They have a funny accent in the beginning. And they seem really smart. But guess what? You're not into him. You're into the specific perfume that he's wearing. Right.

I'm calling a perfume because. That's funny. Because they hate that. But yeah, people also will, even like my mom's friends will ask like if my husband, how he's handling like that I'm, I don't know, doing stuff, like that I'm doing well. You're being so hilarious for a living. How do you feel about that? Having a funny woman for a wife.

And he's a comedian himself. Right. So like, but his thing is like he's had a great career. Yeah. He's an older guy that has seen a lot of shit. And he's loves being. able to sit back and like watch me do what I do and he he calls me his pension pussy like he loves it and I also I've always just been looking for a partner yeah I'm not looking for someone like I

just want to be me and if you want to be in my life with me that's great I also think because I met him in my 30s he met me later in life we're two individuals yeah that just like fuck with each other we don't complete each other right exactly yeah i don't if something were to happen we'd both be okay right and i think that's what's actually so fucking romantic about it is that we don't need each other yeah and it's like a choice at that point right like you're choosing each other because you don't need each other we're not there's not a trauma yeah absolutely and it's not a like a obligatory thing it's not like oh i feel like i have to be in a relationship i feel like i have to stay with this person and it's like it's a choice like you're like i choose to be with this person because they make me happy and they

like uplift me and amplify me. Like even with my man too, it's been very like, he like loves everything that is so like obvious about me and a lot about me. Like I always say, and I say a lot not in a derogatory way. It just is like I am a big personality to be with. Like, yeah, I'm loud, mama for real. I just hear entertaining. You're right.

So I was like I am all of that. But it's like it's one of those where it's like everything that I am, it's worth it. It's hard to be with me, but it's worth it. I'll tell you that much. But also like, when you can laugh with your partner. Girl, you're telling me. Who cares if you were crying? We're not we're loving.

We're having fun. I even like, I've asked him before. I'm like, who do you think's funnier between the two of us? Who do you think? And then he was like, well, you obviously. And then I was like, period. That's the right answer. And he's a trick question.

And he's beautiful. Yeah. Not to be, you know, talking about your man, but that I can respect the beautiful looking man. Yes. Because if he's going to be around, at least make it beautiful to look at. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, believe it or not, ugly people cheat too. Yeah, if you can believe, ugly people suck to.

I would argue ugly men. Cheat a lot more. Cheat a lot more because they're insecure. Yeah, I've also. Really good-looking men have seen enough tits. They're tired. By 35, they're like, I've seen them all. I'm good.

I just want a cigarette and to relax. Where these fucking guys, these fucking guys who have been bullied their whole life and never talk to women who hate women. The second they get attention, they start doing the same things. They start losing their minds. Girls who are single listening, my advice just also with men is like, really don't settle. I agree. They say the happiest girls are the ones who aren't with a guy.

That's true. Or they're in a happy relationship. Yeah. And one thing, shout out to my mom. She was so good at like getting me out of her. She would hold my hand and give me out of relationships when she saw. Because she was just like, life is too short. Right.

And it takes one person to be like, oh, I fuck with that person. Yeah. But if you're stuck with ding dong. Yeah. I've never said that in my word, but in my life. But you're stuck with a ding-dong. I don't care how comfortable it is. Get your stuff and leave.

I don't care if your CDs are in his car. For real. Well, like you said, your life is way too fucking short. And at this point, like women did not fight for as much as we have now and as little as we have now. There's still a long way to go. Women did not fight for all that for you to settle for a fucking loser. Like I was like, you should rather be alone, which is what I've always.

always said. I'm like that that was something I made peace with right before I think like actually for real accepted right before I met my man now. But I was like you know what? That's okay because I am not unhappy. Like my life is amazing and awesome and I and I'm surrounded by love and I'm deeply loved by many people, family, friends, women. I was like women's love is like irreplaceable in my opinion. Like you could live without a man loving you but you could never live without a woman loving you. And I really do believe that to be. Like without men, you're like, eh, whatever. But like with women, it's like, oh my God, what a void life. It's like when a woman compliments you versus a man. Right. It's like it means something. If a woman compliments me on the street, I'll cry. I'll literally be like, I've really did it.

In fact, take it. You want it. You like it here. Here's a coupon. Here's a coupon. Let's go talk me together. I also feel like relationships are mirrors. So if your guy sucks, you're seeing yourself through his fucked up lens.

That's true. And that's why sometimes your girlfriend, friends when they're in a better relationship, I'm like, you're a shell of yourself, like you're not yourself. Right. So it's super important. Also, when you get out of a relationship, that's my level up time. I'm always, I feel like relationships are like a corporate job.

Every time I leave one, I'm getting a better one. So you're just moving up the ladder. And these girls, when we break up, we're doing du lingo. Yeah. We're learning Japanese. We're starting like a certification and certification. Yeah, we're starting a nonprofit. I sound like your ex-boyfriend certification.

That's crazy. Sorry, I'm really smart. But yeah, these girls, they get, like, they start doing their makeup, even cuntier. Like, every time a girl gets a breakup, I'm like, she's on a Pokemon on the next level. Yeah, she's evolving. Evolving. Oh, my God, when she emerges. I love a breakup.

Too bad I'm fucking married and it's more complicated, but breakups are so beautiful. My favorite part of breakups is, like, when your friend gets to a point where you can talk shit. And you're, oh, that's the, oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm like, I've had 12 banger jokes that I have not been able to fire off. Oh my God, I'm so glad you hate him now. I'm so glad you hate him now.

Let's talk about it. But you have to wait for her to say it first. You have to wait. Oh, my God. The way I hear like, it feels like when you play Mario Car and then it's like the noise that plays when the traffic lights going. That's so niche. That's how I feel. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God.

My time has come. My time has come. And then you're starting to send like photos of him, making fun of him. Like, it's just, it's beautiful. I know. One time we were on, when we were on tour, we were all, like, delirious and sitting up and late at night. And we were all talking.

And my friend Carrie right over there, she had brought up an ex and we were all, like, doing a competition to see, to bring up what we thought he looked like better. And I was like, this is my bread and butt. You have no, I am so good at comparisons. You guys are fighting for second. And I literally was like, let me go last. I literally told them. I was like, I'm the closer.

I was like, I already had it. Like the mini you showed me a pick, I had one. I had one immediately. And then mine killed and I did win. Well, that's why girls are creative directors. I always say, like, when you meet a guy and they come up with the funny nicknames. Right. Like, I love when girls are married and they still have his nickname in the phone.

Yeah. And also, like, as the friend of the girl with the guy, like, I'm sticking with the nickname. Yeah, I love that. When they have monikers, like, we had, in my college girlfriends, who I'm still friends with to this day, like, there was multiple of them at one point. point we're talking to a a chris so then we had to start like adding stuff in front of their name so everyone man's name is ch yeah right so that was not even your fault every man ever's name is christ every man that's every man that's earth also c h that's yeah c h that's they are they french like ch like what i'm annoyed i'm annoyed yeah they uh we had one that was dick pick chris

because he always sent dickpicks like at least three times a week yeah to one of my girlfriends and then we had motorcycle chris because there was one that had a motorcycle yeah there was one with a boat so we were like, oh, that's important. And he was the best one. He was number one for us. That's important. Also, it could be like something very, very subtle. Like, this guy played golf once and we called him catty-dadi.

And, like, he doesn't even play golf. But, like, whatever you need to do to make sure you're texting the right one. Right. Yeah, you have to label them. To show up in the wrong Chris is there. Everybody has to wear name tags until everyone learns. But you know, what's crazy about tour is men's names in the South. What's going on down there?

Lots of X's. Yep. Braxton. Like Dixon. And then the like Cypresses. Wait, that's a place in Greece. You're like, that's just a country. I'm like Italy.

Yeah, for real. Yeah, but it's they, yeah, it's hard to take them. And then they do side. Have you seen like, do their head at the side? What does that mean? They have like a side bang. Oh my God. They do.

they enable each other it's like an echo chamber in the south do they do it like under the hat too like yes and then they put sunglasses on top of the hat oh man and they're like perfect yeah let's go out here red as fuck by the way brandly yeah it's like all different kinds of bradley yeah or it's like syllables like bow that's a cough they're just yeah those are just noises yeah way yeah why yeah why i first heard of why it i was like we're gonna have to start from the beginning what is Wyatt i'm from brooklyn guys names are like joe like i was thrown brimley what the hell i don't know that was that was a man his name was brimley no one knew who knows no one knew who knows but girls with gh at the end of their name i respect you because you had to come up with hard spelling

as a young young child you know what i respect your culture i respect your culture i respect your culture it's a lot i e g h i e g h you have to say that to everyone every time you spell it that's that's trauma Imagine? Wait, I love the name Drew. Thank you. Because it's like simple and you could send an email and people could think you're just like a gay man with exclamation marks. Right. And that's actually where my mom named me, like gave me a gender neutral name because she said when she was pregnant with me, she saw like this program on TV that was about, it was like studying the differences between like job applications and like acceptance rate.

And so like if the applications looked exactly the same and one had like a feminine name like a Bethany and then one was like. like Nick, they would almost always pick the man. Yeah. So my mom picked a gender neutral name. And every job interview I've ever fucking had like in corporate America or not, like they would be like, oh, I thought you were going to be a boy, like when they met me. See, I love that.

Especially in sports. They were assumed immediately that I was a man. I love that. I have one of my manager's name is Mack and I was talking to this guy. I'm like, I'll talk. I'll connect you with my manager Mac. And he was like, can't we talk to him? And I call her and I'm like, he's going to be in a rude awakening.

Yeah. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. Don't tell him. I'm like, Mac's about to fuck his shit up. Mac Man is about to come in in these streets. I know, I sometimes feel like with emails, people, yeah, Hannah's such a fucking girly name, which you know what, it's good to be girly.

True. And it's like, we want to throw like a girl, we want to be a girl. Right. But there's so much subconscious, just like the way people speak to you. And the way you can't speak to them, because then you're a cunt. So I want to say that word. But that's okay. Yeah.

I am. Are you a strong emailer? Oh yeah, I'm a very Visceral emailer. I can really dice someone up in an email but that's just because I'm a Virgo I think so I'm like I really enjoy insulting especially in the written word I do love to write it. Do you do all capitals when you want

them to know that you're yelling? Yeah or if it's professional if it's professional and I want them to know I'm yelling I'll I'll bold it or I talicize it Italic I'm obsessed with that that's artistic yeah like you're the Michelangelo of yelling people Wait, that's some italicizing stuff. Yeah. Oh, I get in their girl.

I don't know if Gen Zs know how to italicize. No, for real. That's, it's complicated. I know. Or even write an email. Like, I really, you guys need to learn how to write a strongly worded email. It will come in handy. I have actually ghostwritten emails for people.

I've ghost written texts for people. One of my, my cousin, when we were on vacation together a couple years ago, she, her boyfriend, she found out he had cheated, so she was breaking up with him. And then his, like, dad was texting her or something. and she was like, what the fuck? Like, I don't want to listen to this guy. Like, and he was making excuses for his son, whatever the fuck. And so then she gave me her phone.

I was like, give it to me. I wrote the meanest text you could possibly imagine in a way that was like, like, it made sense for her to say it, but I'm like, I can strike your tone too. Like, if I know how you talk, I can write it like that. I've written several for my sister. I've written some for my friends. You're an unpaid ghost writer. Right, I am.

I don't know. It is funny when you know your friend. to hit my line if he needs someone. He loves them. Drake catches straight. He loves ghost writers. I'm good. That's why if someone,

if you need to break up with someone or you need to like really stick it to a bitch, yeah. But I feel like it's good to have a ghost writer sometimes with texts, like I see other people's situations so fucking clear. For real. Like when I'm your friend and I do know everyone's fonts, I know you're wording, I know what words you'd use. And we never forget.

And with Flores, flirting too because I'm like you know the second you start flirting with someone you actually like you're like I don't know words I don't know sentences so that's why you need your friend who doesn't give a fuck yeah for real I have this new thing for flirting because I'm bored and I can't have him flirt in five years that I want to tell the girls about because someone asked me they were like should you wait a long time before you text and I'm like honestly that's pick me yeah you're literally putting on a timer to like you don't care about this man text him back immediately with typos so it looks like you don't give you don't give you. fuck like like you're on the go like you're texting an assistant that you're like I'm literally too busy for this figure out what that meant you just you divinci code that shit reverse psychology like texting back something that makes no sense yeah and and you're like oh sorry I meant to send that to someone else there you go like just be a mess yeah and be so chaotic he's like either she's obsessed with me or she hates me and like keep men on their toes and that will keep them yeah that will keep them interested that's for sure at the end of the day the right one

you could do anything and he'll I agree, can't say the wrong thing to the right person kind of deal, period. Wait, so that's a fun little transition into our fun facts. I love a segue. I do have some fun facts for you. Oh, okay. You can tell me if they're fun, but they're about you. Oh, shit. Yeah. I should have specified that. They're not about random things. I was like, I like

animals. For real. Okay. This one says when you were 16, you played on the boys tennis team at Began High School because they didn't have a girls team. And there was a New York Times article written about it. That's crazy. Okay, she's the man. I love that you got that because that's so, like, you would appreciate that. Yet Title IX is basically this thing that says if they don't have a girl's team, the girl has to be able to try out for the boys team. So I tried out.

I made the team. And we were winning everything and other teams were getting mad that we had me on the team. Girl. And it was so, it was so crazy. But the beautiful story of it all was that when I went to college, they funded the public school, a girl's team that my dad ended up coaching. Oh, that's so nice. Look at you.

Making a difference in the world. Just trying to get, but women in sports, baby, women in STEM, let's go. Period. Oh my God. But yeah, I made, you would have loved this. I made men like break their rackets. That's literally what the next one says. It says like one time a boy cracked his racket in half in frustration when you,

you beat him in a championship match. Drew, you would have orgasmed. You would have fucking orgasmsed. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding, Hannah. I got chills. No,

like, it's amazing. But the funniest thing is like, I got chills thinking about it. In my head, I'm like, these are high school, like I played international. Like, I'm playing high school boys.

So I'm like, if I lose, I'm going to be pissed. Right. But tennis is not a physical sport. It's very mental. Like, we're not like pushing each other. Yeah.

So I was technically and mentally and physically better than them. Yes. And they'd lose and they'd be so mad, yelling, screaming. and I was just like, sorry. And you're like, sorry, the girl.

The boys on the team, my team were very supportive where they'd start fucking with the other teams. They'd be like, hey, take it easy on her. Like she just started this year. Them hustling. They were like, yeah, they're fucking doing bets under the table as a black market. But the guys on my team knew me and they were really supportive and loved it. That's really nice, though.

I'm glad that they were all supportive of you being there. Well, because we all, like, trained together. Yeah. But I do think because I was able to, like, survive. being in such a male-dominated sport, stand-up didn't feel as scary for me. No, that makes a lot of sense, honestly. And also, too, like, the fact that you,

it speaks to how courageous you are, too, because you have to be really brave to do that, especially at 16. Oh, my God. When you're in, like, your prime, like, centering men phase, like, in high school, especially, that's what my prime, like, picnic phase was. Unbeknownst to me at the time,

obviously, there was no terminology for it at the time. But, like, the fact that you were able to do that and sustain and keep doing it. It's fucking awesome. I have to give a shout out to my dad because my dad, I remember early on I'd play a boy and I like lost something

and he like pulled me to the side and he was like, did you let him win? And I was like, no, like I swear it and he goes, if you had a crush him, you let him win, not good, not cool. That's not how we do this. Get your fucking head in that game. My dad always was like, my dad literally was like,

never let a man distract you. Like, that's how I live my life. And my dad like, Realist fuck, honestly. So if I saw a guy like being cute and stuff, I'm like, he's trying to distract me. Like I literally act like a male comic. Nice try, Jezebel.

I'm like, why are you wearing your shirt so tight around me? Yeah, you're trying to distract me with your big titty's nice try, ho. It's not going to work on me. Yeah, like when you walk away, your butt looks good. Get out of my face. Temptation, I'm not going to fall for it. This is the enemy. But my dad raised me like a boy.

And that's, it was an end he valued like, like he never talked about my looks, my dad. It was always like, how hard are you working? Are you having good sportsmanship? It's a beautiful thing. It's beautiful. Not to be on a soapbox, but that's why I do think women in sports is good because when you have those years where your body starts changing and your hormones are raging, if you could put some confidence into sports and it's not just based on like, are guys liking me? Because I was awkward as fuck, braces acne, but I would go home and be like, I won my match. I feel good about myself.

Yeah. And I was like these legs and this body is doing cool stuff. Hell yeah. I think I absolutely am such a proponent of that too. And it's also building confidence, like you said, in skills, like things that, like, make you unique, make you special. Like, it's, like, highlighting all the wonderful things about you that have nothing to do with your looks, which I've talked about that's like, because a lot of times, and I know you get this question too is like, how do you stay so confident when you're like in a male dominated industry when you like get harassed by men constantly, like online especially. And I've always said like, I mean, obviously misogyny, like relies heavily on women putting a lot of their worth and value in their looks. and they just kind of assume that all women

will be so deeply offended if you call them fat and ugly. Like they just automatically assume that's the meanest thing you could ever say. As an actual mean bitch, that's not the meanest thing you could ever say. I can speak confidently to that. You go, it's uncreatable.

Yeah, that's actually so low lift. It's not even funny. You guys need to get your fucking money up in that regard. But I've said before too, I'm like my confidence, other than the fact that that's a lie, like ugly, you're tripping. Fat depends on who you ask. Like, I'm a big fat fatty compared to some people

And some people I'm not, so it really just depends. It's all relative, right? And so with that, I've like said before to also my confidence, does it, all of my confidence comes from things that you cannot physically see on me. So like, it's like everything that I pull and derive my confidence from it are things you can't see. And that's why it's never, I've been, I'm like, you see my hand, it's not shaking. That's how I feel about men. I also think like, it doesn't matter what you look like, how someone carries themselves.

Like, you know when someone walks in a room. And like you said, you're like, they got it. Yeah. They got the sauce. Yeah. And the sauce is not the size of your nose. No, for real. The color of your skin.

Right. Like the sauce is like, ooh, I guess shivers from someone. Yeah. It's like, it's literally like you. Like it's like, that's what I always say like confidence that you and I have is like easily accessible to everyone. It's, it's, you just have to give yourself permission. Like I did a long time ago.

So that's why I believe I'm the most awesome at no detraction of anyone else. It's just like I think every woman is awesome. And not to talk about our inner child, but like, you know, you see a seven-year-old who like doesn't give a fuck yeah like remember who you were when you were seven you didn't care what boys thought you knew what you liked to do for fun yeah for real and you showed up a class and you're like let's go yeah you were so confident channel that's what i think like your 20s is like figuring out who you are and then your 30s you're like oh it's who i was yeah i just have to deconstruct all the bullshit and you're walking in it at that people put on to me

um absolutely period oh my gosh we would be so good on a panel by the way we put us on a panel Put us on a panel You love a panel, don't you? I do love a panel They love me on a panel honestly Oh also I just want to add That's why some of us Let's work on our personalities

Right Let's work in our personalities And I think shout out to like Your pod And a lot of these like hilarious pods out there That I think like helps people Be like oh conversation is important Right

Being charming is important Listening is important Because you ever leave a conversation with someone Be like wow that was incredible Like good chat You know in like Ireland Yeah. It's about the chat.

Yeah, it's about the chat. Learn how to roast someone with confidence and beauty and grace. Like, girls are working on when it's not their fault, it's the fucking patriarchy, but we're working on your pores, you're working on your cuticles, you're working on the size of your nostrils. No, yeah. Let's work on our personalities. Yeah. Men as well.

Yeah, for real. They especially. I was like, men are so uninteresting. It's not even funny. They need some classes. Literally, we joke about this all the time with my friends, but like our friend Ian, he calls people punishers, which are like, when they come up and they talk to you and they have no conversation skill, they have no personality. And it's like, that's how I feel about a lot of

awful men when they come to, like, harass me at that point. Doesn't feel like conversation feels like harassment. But he's like, he literally calls them punishers. He's like, you're punishing me. You're punishing me in this conversation. Well, our life, we have to do so much small talk with so many different people. And then like the fame stuff, the influencer stuff, like the energies. get fucking weird. Oh my god, in those parties, you talk to famous people and you're like, have you ever spoken to another human ever? Sometimes I talk to famous people and I'm like,

holy fuck, holy fuck has anyone ever, have you ever asked a question? I've never, I'm so sure. I leave and I'm like, that was me. That was definitely me. I'm like, am I fucking awful or was I just talking a million? But then you talk to your friend and you're like, we're normal. Let's add a little mercy laugh every now and that. Like let's move the story. Oh my, some of it's brutal. Some of it's really bad. And like honestly like I I'm shocked when I meet like and you I know you've met a ton like a list talent.

I know I know I know you have I know you have though because you I know you've had these interactions because you've met a lot of A list talent. So have I where like sometimes I'm like oh god God help you if you ever go on a podcast like oh my fucking God. I was like if you are ever on a podcast I hope your team cuts it up a million ways. There's a reason these people don't do hour long podcast which is Aussie smart good for them. Yeah honestly. No your strengths. No your strengths. No your strengths, honestly. And I'll tell you this story. I have told it on here before, but I've never, obviously I've never said it who it is, but it's about. So one time I heard this girl say like, because I asked, I was like, I might have seen him as something. I didn't end up seeing him.

But like, they were like, if you do talk to him, right, do not ask anything outside of these two questions. And the two questions were like, how do you feel? And what do you like about it? Like, that was it. Like, they were very, like, three words. max like very easy so then when I get to the event I'm like you know obviously one of the best parts of this industry is talking to people behind the scenes and being like so who do we love who do we hate it's my favorite that's what my fate the makeup artist oh my god it's like the gossip

I'm like is she a monster tell me I'm like who's the meanest person you've ever fucking talk to like I love asking people that and so like I was like sleuthing I'm like asking around I'm like so what's his deal like what is that because I've also heard through the grapevine that he's misogynistic but I've never confirmed that so I was like what is the I can never even have a disogynistic. That's crazy. That doesn't support the picture at all. So I literally was like who I was like, why, you know, because they edited my stuff down and then they told me, do not ask him anything outside of this.

And then she goes, I was like, is that because he's like, is he fucked up or what? And she goes, no, I think it's because he's fucking stupid. That was a verbatim quote. She said, fucking stupid. I laugh so hard. And I said, girl, what are you talking about? And she said that he literally does not like. improv. He doesn't like pivots. He doesn't, he doesn't like anything fun. When he gets questions,

girl, when he goes... By the way, this is a beautiful man you're talking about. That girls are jerking off to you every night. Continue. Girl, he literally, when he goes on appearances, like big shows, whatever, they give him everything in advance. They write answers out. He memorizes them like lines. He's a robot. I think someone puts a big key in his back and churns it. Wait, when you said he doesn't like pivots, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Imagine you're like, you got to a stick to where it's going. I have ADHD. In normal human conversation.

I pivot mid-work. Yeah. We haven't finished one thing we brought up on this pod. No, for real. Not one. Nothing has been figured out. Not one. We started everything.

I literally couldn't believe it. I was like, no way. And then he's like, no, he's a dumb bitch. This is the problem though, because then, not that I ever watched his stuff. Me too. It's not like ruining the art for me. No, me too. But, yeah, never crossed my desk.

No. It's like sometimes you meet someone and you can't appreciate the TV shows anymore because you know like the person behind it. Same with comedy. Like you meet some comics and you're like, that's not funny anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Like, unfortunately I saw behind the curtains. Damn it.

That sucks. Damn it. But yeah. But then some people you meet and you're like, holy shit, they're better than I thought. Or you're like, thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

I had a feeling. Thank God. I need it. But it's, it's real. I feel like people, they say fame either like makes, just exasperates. I don't know if that's the word. just like you're more of what you were if you're an asshole you become a supreme asshole I agree yeah if you're great then you could become like an angel yeah I literally told one of my friends

recently that I'm like I really do think to make it to a certain level you either have to be the best person ever or the worst person I've ever fucking met because every really famous person I've ever met is one or the other there's no in between and I think it's because you'll get squeezed out you'll get choked out and I think because like normal people who are actually just like they are living content with living good, nice lives. I agree. Instead of putting themselves through the chaos. Yeah, exactly.

Trying to be famous. So it's only the strong or the evil survive. Yeah. That's all that survives in Hollywood. Like, you're the strong as fuck or you're evil. Those are the only two ways you get it. And it's true. Like, I was like, it's so true because everyone I've met is either awesome or I'm like,

I hope I never cross paths with you ever again. Like, you're awful. And anyone in your circle sounds awful too. Like it's so, and I take that shit so serious. And it feels like high school, low key, because we, like, you talk to one person, they all know each other. Everybody knows everybody. Yes. It's so strange.

Yes. But I do have more fun facts for you. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was trying to distract you. Oh, this one says you used to be community relations intern for the Brooklyn Nets. Yeah. Was that it's so bad to your dad.

Well, the Nets, we, the Knicks suck so bad that like, the Nets became Brooklyn and I'm from Brooklyn, but I, yeah, that was a really fun. That was a fun job. It was cool. Shout out to the Nets. I love the NBA. They're fun to work with. Oh, yeah. You do stuff.

Yeah, I love them. That got me so excited when I saw that. Because again, love women and male dummy fields. Oh my God. I know when they were like, why the fuck would you pick her? I'll tell you why there's women on that team. That's why. Women on that team were like you want women to tune in.

You got to pick the one. Have you ever been to a Liberty game or like a WMB game? Drew. It's like being in a gay club. Like, well, Liberty has Ellie. which who is like the amazing mascot. I love Ellie the Elephant. She's fully, I think she should win drag race.

There's something going on. But like it's all for not through the male gaze. So it's crazy to see the whole performance of it all. Like they had these like 85 year old dancers come out. And the whole thing, I was like, oh wait, so much is for like, what do we think the average 45 year old guy wants to see? That's true. That's what the NBA is. On the WMBA, they were like, let's have fun girlies.

Let's see what we want. That's like what I'm feeling. And let's watch some basketball. Yeah, so you have to go to WMB. Oh my God, I'm so excited. I went to their All-Star game a couple years ago in Arizona, and that was fucking awesome. Yeah. Okay, this one says you got appendicitis in 2020 while filming an episode of Bravo's chat room.

Oh my God, Hannah. That would happen to you. There was, okay, so my first, like, talk show gig was this show, virtual show during COVID. Yeah. I did it in my mom's kitchen, like on a toaster oven. And, like, it was a Porsche Williams, Giselle Bryant. K chestane so much fun. Yeah.

I started with a feeling of burning in my stomach, which, look, I have stomach problems. Like, if I had a nickel. Right. The amount of times I'd be like, there's burning in my stomach, and it's my fault. I had, I ate something I shouldn't have eaten. Yeah. But it was like burning. And I remember, like, unzipping my pants at one point, being like, oh, God, this is bad.

This is bad. And my mom is like type A. Yeah. So I look at her, I'm like 29, 30 years old at this point. We finished the episode, and I'm like, I think I have to lie down. My stomach is burning. And she goes, I read about this, it's appendicitis, we got to take you to the hospital. Like that, you know a mom that's anxious, but like for the perfect reason?

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like if she wasn't a psychopath and had been like searching all the ways her kid could die. She never would have been able to diagnose you. Never would be able to diagnose you. And it also sucks because it validates them doing that shit. Yes. My mom's like that too. So my mom will keep doing it.

And I'm like, then she's like, well, I was right. I'm like, right. But you still shouldn't be doing that. She's like, I don't like the shade of your gum. I think you gotta go to the hospital. Yeah, you have something. She's the one who texts me just being like, everyone is dying in, you know, Maine because of a lettuce disease. Right.

Like, I know you're in New York, but it's coming down to you soon. So don't eat salads for the next eight months. I was like, I wasn't going to. I appreciate it. Okay, don't worry about that with me. Okay, last one, it says the first time you ever saw your husband was when he got up and did a stand-up set at the comedy cellar. Oh, that actually is kind of a cute, meat, cute rom-com moment. That is cute.

I was like doing sales. I was just a fan. I never thought I would be a stand-up comic. Yeah. And I was just a fan. with my coworkers and this guy got up and he's from Queens, New York originally. And he was funny and he said he lived in Ireland and I was like, oh, I guess I'll never marry that guy. And I never saw him. I just thought he was hot and I followed him. And then like five years later,

he saw me in the background of a Nikki Glazer Instagram story and followed me. Shout out Nikki. Cousin love connections. I do love Nikki. We love her here. We love. I mean, she really held my hand at the beginning. Like she's amazing. But, um, and then I, I was, like on dating apps but he was above my age range but I was also crazy back then I was like my age range was like up to 35 girls get it up girl get it up we want these experienced tired men these young men right no girl don't even so they're just discovering looks maxing which is them discovering that being beautiful works yeah we've been on that tip so I I've known that for a fucking while any guy looks maxing is coming out to you right

Like, it's genuinely, like, a man just discovered, like, pretty privilege. But I do love using men's insecurities of their looks to, like, monetize them. Oh, you're telling me. That's my whole platform. Sell him some fancy lotions. Right. No, enough with the 3-1 conditioners. Like, let's get every single part.

Like, right. They're too busy giving tips to women about things to fix. Like, maybe you should look in-house. True. Make sure their own house is in order. True. True. Yeah, true.

So, yeah. I, um, we ended up getting together, even though I met him four years later after that. That's crazy. But it was just doing research. Yeah. Just spotting stuff early. And the universe was like, you're not ready yet.

Yeah. That's a good point. I had work to do on myself first. And look at you. We tried. You saw him on that stage. You said, I'm going to get, I'm going to take that job. Match made in heaven.

I go, he's going to have to watch me do stand up the rest of his life. I'm going to, oh, no, reverse that ho. I'm going to ruin his life. Yeah. I hope he's having fun for now. Yeah. Enjoy your last few moments of joy. Well, did you enjoy the fun facts?

Were they fun? That was so fun. Oh, my God. I'm so glad. Amanda lives to see her job another day. Oh, my God, Amanda, good job. You killed it. My last question for you, for if you have any advice, for any women who maybe want to get into stand-up, especially, or even podcasting or even tennis.

If there is someone who really wants to get into entertainment and they want to, like, pursue it, like, what advice do you have for them? My advice is that be that X-factor. be yourself. I think my stand-up connected with people because I wasn't like watching what other people were doing. I was just trying to like focus on my stuff. And I think when people are like, you're unique, you have your own voice. No, no, no, you're just being yourself and there's no one like you. Right. So if you're sitting there being like, I'm not as good as that person or that person that person, you're not those people. Right. You're you and your voice should be heard. So speak from your heart, speak from your stories and get out there. And everyone's always nervous about like doing bad or

bombing and I'm like the funniest part is when you say something that no one laughs and you're like oh that's where you guys that's where you put like that's the funniest part where i'm like oh that's when we got tied when i brought up my grandpa okay like just be honest all of a sudden everybody has standards of comedy yes i was joking about poo-poo for a second y'all were cracking up yes and i always think like i know it's scary but you know it's scarier not going for what you want right or even ever finding out it's true and i honestly think a lot of the times it's the fear of being perceived that with like holds people back from even pursuing art forms like like stand up for example let's just say you're being perceived regardless you might as well make money yeah right we might

maybe get a few yucks here and there maybe make some people laugh yeah being perceived makes you feel alive right and everyone just projecting their experiences onto you so it's cool right and what people think about you like whatever you say sticks onto you and stick me that's the cool and what people think about me is none of my business. I was like, that's for y'all. Not for me. Period. Hulu, January 5th, none of my business.

Let's go. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you, Drew. This was so much fun. I love you too. You're going to punch a man now. Yeah, and now I'm getting... Now I'm mad at my husband.

Now I'm going to home wreck your home. And then you're going to marry me. Dada, for real. But for everyone that, the two people that maybe don't know, where can they find you? and your special. Oh, Hannah Burner and Hulu is my second special. Yes.

And my business. And Netflix was my first one. Amen. Look at you. Knocking them down one by one. And you have a podcast. Yes. Giggly Squad.

Yes. Giggly squad. We love to giggle like Drew. Amazing. And they do be making me giggle. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'll be making me giggle. That means a lot to me.

Thank you. Likewise, that I make you giggle. Period. Thank you all so much for tuning into this episode of the comments section. Thank you so much for my amazing guest, Hannah Berner. You all already know who she is and you all already follow her. But if you don't, make sure you do and you check out her new special on Hulu. Very exciting.

And thank you so much for tuning and don't forget. New episodes of the comments section drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming problems in the video is now on YouTube. Wow, how exciting. Thank fucking God. We're free. Y'all, we made it. We did it, guys.

Anyways, thank you so much to my amazing guest, Hannah. Thank you so much to all of you and I'll see you next week. Bye.