The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - WHAT'S YOUR 'WHITE PEOPLE' LAUGH? | Drew Afualo ft. Adeib | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 23

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew welcomes Adeib this week as they talk about storytelling and all the crazy things that have (fortunately/unfortunately) happened to them over the years. Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Adeib: https://www.instagram.com/adeibelmasri Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

One time someone took a picture with me, she was like, girl, like, I'd love to take a picture. I'm like, okay, cool. And she takes a picture with me, and she turns around, and then she tells her friends, I don't know who the fuck she is. She's on TikTok or something. I was like, you couldn't wait until I was out of ear. Sean, until you sometimes. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comments section show starring me,

your favorite girl in the entire world. You don't have to tell me, we already know. And today, I am joined by one of my all-time favorite. people on TikTok, one of the funniest bitches alive. Adi She says, woo, woo, woo, I don't feel special. It doesn't make it any less true.

I just feel like you say every time. You know what's funny is I can pick everybody? You think I could you think I could put someone who's not funny on my show. Okay, I'll take it. Get out of here.

Then my back would ache from carrying this load by myself. There's no way. I'm so happy to have you. I'm so happy to have you. I'm so sorry if you heard that. Sorry. Honestly, you're so funny.

I'm so excited to be here. Also, I'm obsessed with your wall. Thank you. Thank you. But I'm honestly so excited to be here. She's taller than me. I'm very upset about that. Yeah, how tall are you?

And she wore platforms. It's honestly fine. How tall are you? I'm 5-4. Are you really? I was going to say, no way. You're taller than that? No, 5.9.

Yeah, see, everyone... And like one quirt? No, I'm kidding. I don't know. I don't know. Everyone thinks I'm 5-4. Google says I'm 5-4. No, she's honestly, I think, what,

seven foot three? Me and Shack are about eye level, so yeah, I'm six feet. Like you look down on him. Yeah, on his bald head. I love me a bald head. Stop. Listen, contrary to what other people may say. Oh, my dad's bald so I can talk about bald people.

I'm screaming. He gave me a pass. He said, you can do this. And I said, okay, thanks. I'm honestly, I'm scared of balding personally. My dad was bald by 19. So I feel great. I'm sending you good vibes, though.

No, honestly, I pray every day. Like, it's honestly fine, you know. Like, my prayer beads are on, it's honestly fine. We have a few weeks. It's honestly fine. I don't remember when you and I started following each other, but I do know it was pretty fairly early. Yeah, I remember.

And both of our TikTok journeys. I remember, like, you made a video that was literally, like my roommate came into my room. She was just like, why are you dying? And I was just like, no, you don't understand. Like, oh my God, which one? I was like, bro, like, zinger, zinger, zinger, zinger, zinger. It's so good.

I love that. I'm not creative with jokes like that. Like, I could never. But. You swear. You're so funny, though. No, but I can't do, like, you know, like setting up like punchline joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could never.

I'm so bad at that. You're just like recounting it yourself in your own funny way. Like, I did stand up in college. And I did, the first one went really well. Really? Yeah, because I just got run over. So I was just. Lots of material to build up.

You know what I mean? So I just got. We had a whole bank to build. from I just got and run over. I just like really had it in me you know what I mean? Everyone was like die laughing

I was like oh my god maybe I'm Kevin Hart now now what I mean I'm fresh off a hit and run literally what if you just constantly went but came back

so it's like fine what if you just constantly went to get hit by cars no you're just hoping you get hit so like you can start over like twice in the same week yeah

like by two different cars but like three times total because the first car did run me over twice she backed up me. No, she was such a bitch for that. Like, she like, kind of hate you and then kept going. Just to be sure she hit you.

She stopped on my foot and I was like, reverse, reverse. And she was just like, oh, and then went forwards. And then I was like, okay, stop. And then she went back and I was like, okay, no, fuck you. That was on purpose. Yeah, the second time was for good measure. No, literally ended it. So you did stand up. I just sat up. The first time it was like great. Second time, absolutely miserable. Like, I was in Tucson, Arizona

with all white people that were like very old like retirement community so they like jokes like and they were like my wife sorry I said the F word racist vibes probably like bigotry is there type of humor

I was just like sitting there and I was like I got run over they were like are you okay I was like I'm like is this thing on I was like I'm not coming heart I guess never mind and I never did again I mean if it makes you feel any better I don't want to do stand up I get that I get asked to do it all the time

they're like, you should do stand-up. And I'm always like, no. Because I just like, I don't think every funny person can do stand-up. I agree. Just because you're funny doesn't mean you can do stand-up. Because stand-up's like a whole art. Like, it's a set. It's like-not-just-that.

You get to study it and all that. Like, punchline joke and climbing. Like, that's so much energy. And like, I don't know how people can like, like, I don't know about you, but I was scared in school to do a presentation. I don't know how you're doing a presentation and funny. Like, it's a lot of energy. I wasn't, I wasn't afraid to do presentations.

in school? No, never. I don't know if you could tell by my demeanor. I just thought it was like a universe. I'm not a very shy person. I'm pretty upfront and out there, unfortunately for all the terrible men. Period. Like I monetized it, unfortunately for them. But speaking of you getting hit by car multiple times, that's a great segue into our topic for today. Today with the deep, we're going to talk about storytelling because that's how you got big. And before I started making stitches of dudes, like, that's how I got big, too.

Like, that's how the ball started rolling. I was telling stories. So, like, I love a good story. I love to exaggerate. I love to give context. Like, this is, okay, I hope this is, like, not too controversial to say. But, like, Tana Moja. Like, you know?

Yeah, yeah. Like, old school. Like, old school. Yeah, yeah. Like, I got FBA. Yeah, like, like, hooked and, and sprawled. Just a little bit hilarious. Like, I love the extraness of it all.

But, yeah. Like, I mean, screaming. It's Tandamozo. But you love to tell stories. I love her. Me too. Like, I love that vibe. And I feel like everyone that has that type of energy, like, you know, Tara's world.

Yeah. She's so funny. Like, I love people that, like, have that type of energy and, like, go for stories. Yeah. But, oh, my God, I'm screaming. You're so good of it, though. Like, I'm just saying. Like, I literally, like, I can't.

I feel like no one cackles up my jokes or, like, my videos. Like, I feel like everyone's just like, you know what I mean? But, like, yours. I laugh. Like, I'm laughing. Like, belly vibes. Thanks, babe. Thanks, babe.

And you have a cackle just like me. So that's good. The way that that's literally my top comment, usually. Oh, that you laugh similar. At Drew, she looks, she, you and her laugh the same. You and her laugh at, like, honestly. Oh, my God. So much.

Right. Twins. I know, I think that sometimes, sometimes people think my laugh is not real. Like they think it's just for the jokes. Yeah. She's not. It's really, I'm really not. I wish I was.

Honestly, it would be a skill. Like, I kind of wish I could fake laugh on command. I feel like I would stomach so many more people. I call it my white people laugh. You know what I mean? Like, my customer service laugh. Like, when they make a joke and then I'm like, that's crazy.

No, for sure. Anyways, every time I laugh like that, my sister goes, ew. And I was like, I got to keep conversation light. and going. Like it doesn't... Like with older people, I'm always like, I always do the old people laugh. Like... Like, I love a good... It's like a little chuckle. Yeah,

like a nose laugh. And you have to go like lots of mouth noises for no reason. Like, I don't know. Sorry. Yeah, they don't really get those gaffas out of me, but like... I'm screaming. That's why I said I call my white people laugh because they'll make like an out-of-pocket joke that I'm not really...

I don't find very funny. So I'm like... I love to make fun of people, though. Like, I love to sometimes just go with that? Since we're talking about storytelling, right, with Adib, we're gonna, for our, well, for those of you who don't know what we do in the comment section, is we like to take videos that I was

tagged in or I've been sent and we bring them here and we share out the giggles. Today, we actually have a few that are our own videos, which is so fun because we'll get to show them. Typically, we don't get to show them. I'm screwed. Now you're like, no, this joke is really good. I know, guys, I'm so funny. Honestly,

I'm like, holding them like, let's watch together. I hate at watching. Have you ever seen people watch your videos in front of you? No. No. Thank God. Oh my God. Like when my friends try to do that, I'm like, no, no, no, like go to the other.

Watch it, like, watch it like tomorrow. Like, don't watch it in front of me. Block me. Because then I'm going. It's honestly fine. I'm watching them, waiting for them to laugh at my jokes. Oh my God. I literally hate it because I'm like, I'm like, if you don't laugh at like my favorite joke in the video.

Like, I'm just like, oh, God, it's not even funny. Let me delete that wrong. Right. I'll just delete my whole account. But literally like I'm like, okay, I had like no more posting, I guess. Fine. Dude, I was just telling my family this the other day. But like sometimes when I get approached outside of like work or whatever, like if I'm just at the store or something, people will come up to me and they'll be like, oh my God.

Like I'm such a big fan of your content. Like it's really sweet. And they're like, can I take a picture? I go, yeah. The amount of times I've had someone come up to me and they're like, okay. And they're about to pull up their camera. And they're like scrolling through the apps. you know, like they're all open.

And literally all of the apps are all my profiles. Because they're trying to make sure it was actually. Oh, I'm screaming. I was like, oh, I was like, they're literally going. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, yeah. For sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. They're like, closing all of them out.

And it's literally my Twitter, my Instagram, my TikTok. Like, Google. I feel like no one's ever tech that much. I kind of want that. But it's like, I think what I think it is is because I'm so large and in charge in real life. Like, people don't think I'm as big as I am. Yeah.

Like being seven foot three doesn't change that. I feel like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's a hard life higher. So when I, when they see, when they see me in real life, I think they're like, there's no way that's her. Because I'm just so much bigger than I think they assume I am. That's so cool though. Like, honestly, whenever anyone sees me in public, they never want to take a picture with me. Like, honestly.

Is that a read? Like, if you see me please take me a little bit like, like, dang. Usually they love to, it's cute. Like they'll come up to me and share stories, but like no one asks for a picture. I'm like, okay, funny but ugly. It's okay. I understand. One time one of my friends said that someone had approached her at Disneyland and then told

her like how much they loved her. And she was like, oh my God, thank you so much. And then she was holding up her phone. So she was like, do you want to take a picture? And the girl was like, no. And that's my worst nightmare. I would never. So if you don't ask, if you don't ask me, I'm not going to ask you.

Yeah, no, I won't. But like, it's just like a bit crazy. Like, you just came up to me, talk to me for 45 minutes. Not even if I'm going to ask a picture. Dang. A little ugly. They're like, but you're funny though. Keep it up, girl.

They're so nice. I think like with me, um, sometimes they'll come up to me and I can tell that they don't give a fuck about me. Oh, who don't care about me at all. But they know someone who loves me. Oh, that. And they recognize me. So like one time someone took a picture with me.

me. She was like, girl, like, I'd love to take a picture. I'm like, okay, cool. And she takes a picture with me and she turns around and then she tells her friends, I don't know who the she is. She's on TikTok or something. I was like, you couldn't wait till I was out of ear shot until you something. Like, you can

me too. Like, I would do that too, you know what I mean? But like, just some courtesy. Like, dang. What's the worst? When you get approached in front of older people? So, like, I'm talking middle age and older. And then all of them are like, like, And then as soon as the fan leaves, they're like, do you like do something?

They always are. And then I'm like, like, someone literally asked me, are you like famous or something? I always say like I'm Ariana Grande's bodyguard. What if you just said you were Ariana Grande? In my job. Girl, I don't have my ponytail, so you just sit up. I just didn't have my ponytail on like, that's why you don't recognize me. I'm screaming.

Oh my God. My wig is off. It's me without R&M, beauty. That's why you don't recognize me. Dude, the amount of times, like, someone's been like, are you, like, famous or something? I just go, not really. I just like, I'm like, no, I work for someone that is. I'm so sorry.

I always say that. I just go, I just say no, no. I just can't believe that someone would believe that I'm a bodyguard, to be honest. Like, again. And they're like, that makes sense. Yeah, like, they'll just be like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, based off your look.

Yeah, that makes sense. What if they said? It's just a read. I would just be like, okay. Like, I mean, I guess, thank you. Question why? Like, I don't know. Wait, so you.

believe me. Why? Do I look a certain way to you? I start questioning them. What's that supposed to mean? I'm like, no, no, no, I actually do do TikTok and they're like, no, you're a bodyguard. Like, no, I'm pretty sure you're a bodyguard. They're like, okay, well, so now we're lying. When you start telling, well, actually, I'm a creator. It's honestly fine. Before this happened to me and like, because my boyfriend bears like a passing resemblance to Aquaman. So before this happened to me and the movie Aquaman came out. I was like, hold of it. Yeah, you don't know who awkward.

Aquaman is? I like, oh, one of the few people who's too cool to know who Aquaman is. No, so sorry,

I just know how I was the Game of Thrones guy, but I'm just right. Okay, him. I'm all confused for a hot second. Well,

anyways, him, he looks somewhat like my boyfriend, like the hair and the forehead is pretty much where it ends.

But, but white people don't care. Like they, so when the movie Aquaman came out hell on earth for me and my boyfriend.

We couldn't go anywhere without older white women being like, oh my God, you know who you look like. And they, They knew it wasn't him, but they would still ask for a picture, which I find odd.

Like, unless I'm on the Vegas strip, dresses bumblebee, like, there's really no reason for you to want a picture. You know what I mean? Like, you know, it's not him. You know. Why the niche to love, though? Like, why a transformer? Because it's like, you know it's not him, but it's like for the story. Like, you're a tourist.

You know what I mean? I feel like it's just so random. I don't know why people do that. I don't know either. Someone chased me down Melrose once, and they were, like, yelling, screaming, my name and I was like there's no way someone likes me that much like I swear like there's no way like I don't think my mom loves me that much

like there's no way and I turned around and they were like yelling screaming they're like your songs changed my life I was like huh your songs I can't sing at all but what do you mean they think you were Benico I was gonna I was gonna say I didn't want to assume it's the hair

I don't know I just was like thank you so much for listening Benny Blanco you're welcome for like keeping your name clean. Like, I mean, I guess. I just didn't want to disappoint. I mean, she literally ran after me. Like, on Melrose.

It was hot. Like, I felt bad. Beni Blanco? I was deeply offended. You're like, is it just like the beard and the hair? I don't know, but I'm upset. You guys don't look anything like. That's what I'm saying.

Isn't he like, you know, older? I don't want to assume. And white, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I don't want to assume. You know, no. It's like a negative thing. No, I, I, dude, with my boyfriend, it was kind of the same thing.

Like, they would be like, oh my God, like, they want to take pictures and they'd get weird and creepy. And so, like, I started getting annoyed because I don't like when people are weird and creepy, it makes him uncomfortable. That makes me mad. So, like, when they would say, like, you know, you look just like, Aquaman, I started interrupting, and I'd say, I get that all the time. That's crazy. And that joke didn't hit once. Not once did anybody laugh. They were always like, not you, him.

Oh, my God, drama. And I'm like, no shit, bitch. I know you're talking to him. Like, I just can't with the people. I was all damn, tough crowds. This thing on? Oh, my God. Such a bummer.

The old, like, ladies, they're just... They don't care. They just don't get it. They put that pussy in the wind. They don't care. They don't care at all. They'll throw it at anybody that looks their way. They don't give a damn.

Which I respect to an extent. But also, when I'm at the cheesecake factory, I don't want to deal with that. I'm screaming. When I'm eating at the cheesecake factory, I want to be left alone. You know what I mean? Like, that's just not the time and place. Honestly, I was like, it was my, like, my first night in the UK.

I was at Nando's. And I just, like, had to. I really wanted to try it. Yeah. I was eating. And, like, how was it? So, good. Like, actually, 10 out of 10.

It wasn't halal, so, like, whatever, but, like, it's fine. Anyways, I was eating. So, like, you're canceled, but also. No, like, the haram police will attack me, but it's fine. But what's it called? I was, like, sitting with my two friends. And I haven't seen them, like, literally, like, six years. Yeah.

So we're eating like whatever and these like this group of like girls comes up to me and there was just like hi like we follow in TikTok like blah blah blah can we take a picture? And I was like mid meal never happened to me like middle of the restaurant they wanted a picture right now. Yeah. And I was like that's really awkward but sure. Yeah. But when they came up to me like when they were asking my friends stood up to take the picture like to pose instead of me and they gave me the phone and they were like this and then they were like no no no I'm talking about I'm talking to him. They're like, no, we know, but we're his friends. We're better.

It's fine. And they were, like, trying to take a picture. The girl was pissed. The joke didn't land. The girl was, that's what I'm saying. The joke did not land. We can all laugh. A little bit, like, dang, like, fake laugh at least.

Like, give us a, like, something. The way that they get so, like, no, not you. I know. It's like, I know. It's always fine. Like, I stood up anyway, like, I promise. Like, I'm coming. They're like, you're wasting my time, honestly.

They get... Chill. Like, chill, chill, chill, chill. No, they were super nice. Well, that's good. I'm glad. But you know who wasn't nice the person who hit you with their car?

I'm screwed. That takes us to our first video. So this is basically a video of a deep telling the story of how he got run over twice in one day and we're going to react to it now. So let's watch it together. Today's my three-year anniversary

of when I got run over twice in one day. But I just found a video. Don't I got run over? I was just... It's just... like a stupid sentence to say whatever like is it listen when i got run over i didn't take it seriously okay like i was just i got run over i was like literally my family's like in a different country like blah blah blah blah like i was like you know what this is so stupid i'm gonna make a snaptow story out of this

like i'm sorry but like you know getting run over right after you check out the gym that's like a sitcom premise like that's not real life like i refuse to believe that you know what i mean so i was like if that's gonna happen to me the least i could do is give everyone a funny snaptow story out of it. So let's get into it. My first Snapchat was just a quick announcement. You know, she ran me over. That's really it, you know? Then she started sitting next to me, right? So I was like, bro, why is she sitting right next to me in complete silence?

Like, I can hear her heartbeat. It's too much. It's Ramadan. I was fasting, by the way. I just remember that. This is when I started to lose it because are you fucking kidding me? Why were you crying? Why were you?

Like, she's just out of three hours into the waiting room. Why are you crying? Why are you crying? I don't care. This was funny. This was funny. I know Game of Thrones is done and you know dead and no one cares, but this was funny. I don't care. Side note, if you ever feel not confident, just shave your head and die it's so fun to be in there for like a week or two. Well, maybe you're not. I got run over right after I did that so maybe don't do that.

Maybe it's like a bad vibe. I don't know. Bro, I don't care how I'm funny. I don't care. I'm funny. This is funny. I don't care. And lastly the video, but it's a little bit anticlimactic because it's like six seconds long. So, you know, don't hate me. The way I'm triggered. Also, if I died there, my last words would have been yo. So I would just like to, you know, recommend that you think before you speak because what if your last word were you? That was right before you got hit? Yeah. Because you were about to get hit.

So embarrassing. Like, I was just like, I was like there's, because to me, like, she was stopped. She was out of stop. Like, why did you? So there's no reason for you to really run me over there. So I was like. And she broke your foot? She ran over my.

So apparently I have an accessory bond. I don't know what that means. But it shattered and I'm fine. Did you ask her because she's a medical student? I'm screaming. What if you went in and she drove me to the hospital? Yeah, and what if she checked you in and she was your nurse? And she goes, I don't think it's broken.

I think you're fine. I think you're overreacting actually. No, but like I just, like, have you ever been, did you, you know? Ever get hit by a car? Yeah, or run someone over? Neither. So embarrassing. Like, it really is embarrassing.

They pick you up, like, because the ambulance is like, what, $5,000? Like, you're not doing that. So, like, they're driving you. My sister's laughing because my sister's been hit by a car. No, I'm on Twitter. My sister got in my He's like, you're asking me if I'm like, no, but she has. He said she was so embarrassed.

She just got up and tried to like after the fact, but she literally got in on the sidewalk. Like she was, were you walking or riding your bike? She was riding her bike and she got hit and she fell on the hood and like, she like smashed the dude's windshield with her arm. And she said she was so embarrassed She got off the car And they picked up her bike And she was like I'm good see you later

She started trying to walk away And the dude was like Are you okay If she didn't land on his car I think he would have took off Like he would have hit and run But then she was like No you like you like hit me

And then he was like Well you're not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk I'm like not in gas sliding you He's like you asses. The way that when she told me

I was so scared for her but I literally like laughed so hard I started crying. That's what you're saying it's so humiliating. She told me that was the worst part was it was just embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. It's like you don't get it like

imagine someone like you get to the hospital right which she drove you in. Obviously she just ran someone over so she was like traumatized. She parked. on the side, started crying. While I'm literally like... She's like, not to pull focus, but I'm really sad right now.

My sister was like, I drove myself to the hospital. College kid shit, dude. I have no word. I got run over in front of the gym, by the way. My first time going. You're trying to... Is that a sign from God? I was so...

God was like, oh my God, like, what is going on? You're all I'm trying to better myself and this is how you think. ran over. No, but I literally like, it's like, it's like, okay, like that part is fine. Like whatever, we get to a hospital. She has to get the wheelchair and she wheels you in. That's so embarrassing. Like a pregnant lady.

And then the nurse starts asking questions. And I don't know, maybe she was just bold. Like, I don't really know. But she, like, they're asking questions. She was answering for me. Yes, run, ran over, like, down the street in front of the gym. Yeah. Yeah.

Who ran him over at me? Oh, okay. I'm like. dude. She's like, you're like, yep. It's so humiliate. Here she goes, how did you get rid of a roll? Did you, I think you, yeah, I think she backed up over me.

They asked multiple times. Like, they're like, who ran you over and I had to just be like, this bitch wheeling me in the wheelchair. It's so embarrassing. Like, honestly, I can't begin. I didn't tell my family for a good year. Why? Because by the time that I told them, they were so embarrassed.

They died laughing on the phone. They were just literally like, no way. Like really, you got run over, really. I was just like, I'm so sorry. It's not my first time. Like, I've done it multiple times in my life, unfortunately. It's honestly fine. That's why I was like, that's never happened to me.

Like, my grandpa ran me over like maybe three times. Like not under the car, over the car. You know what I mean? More okay. Like you like hit the hood? Yeah. On purpose? He never teased me and he doesn't look.

And he's always parking and I'm always running. Every time he's like every fucking time with this. Every time with this. gonna get in my way. And I was like, or. I say, I say three times

that's on you. Like, I'm blaming you at that point. Three times, that's on you, buddy. I'm like, you are clearly asking

to do this. What do you want attention? I'm a little clumsy. That's my issue. I lack awareness. That's the problem. Clearly. If you've been hit multiple,

you've been hit more than, the amount of times you've been hit is on more than one hand. I'm going to go ahead and say part of that's on you. Like, I just want to gaslight

the cars. It's not my fucking. You're just throwing yourself in front of them. I would never. No, never. You're all just trying to meet friends. Is this not how you meet people? I'm dead.

No, I honestly, it's so embarrassing. Oh, yeah, she stole my bike too. I just remember. She wanted to, like, erase evidence. I was like, would you bring back my half-broken bike from the gym? I know. My sister's bike got smashed, too, by the car. And it was so funny.

Because she was already telling me that, because she went to college in Oregon. And so they're a big bike riding town, like walking barefoot everywhere. Like, why Oregon? Just why would she go there or why are they like that? The PNW. Yeah, they're just big, like, big hippie town. You know what I mean? Like love everybody.

But like, they're big bike riding town too. So like the bike we she took was our childhood bikes and they're beach cruisers. So they're not meant to go up hills or. any sort of rocky terrain at any yeah so she and it was like a bright yellow her bike and she was telling me already like right before the time and she was telling me how much she hated her bike she was like i hate this bike it's so embarrassing no she took the money after me said they were like i can't really fix this so she just kept the money oh my god i made her i mean she literally has not ridden a bike she's like i don't stop are you like traumatized

I didn't even know like that. We already didn't like bikes. That just really nailed it home. But she has other stories where she's falling off that bike. And she's like, I literally wanted to take it just throw it over a fence. Like, just like get out of here. I understand. That's what I did to mine.

Like, I threw it into the bench. It's not the stars for us to ride bikes. No, but I still love it. Like, I got another one. It's just the old one broke. You just like living on the edge? I guess we'll see what happens. It's so fun to bike.

Like, it feels like you're, on a motorcycle, but like less death risks. Well, I got run away. I mean, with you, I don't know about that. I think the odds may be pretty equal. I just got my dad one of those electric bikes for Father's Day, like the ones that, like, you can either pedal or you can like gas. Yeah.

He loves it. My dad's a huge bike riding dude. Does he have a, like a actual motorcycle? No. He'll never get a motorcycle just because like, I don't think we want him to have one, but he loves to ride bikes. So he's always like, we should go bike riding. I'm like, we don't like bike riding.

Like, my entire family doesn't like to bike ride except my dad. I love a good bike ride, though. So I like it in theory, but then after a while I'm like, I'm over this. No, it's so fun you get to like see. Like, come pick me up. I don't want to ride anymore. I don't want to ride anymore. It's so fun.

You get to see the scenery and run over. And get run over maybe. So fun. That's why I said, living life on the edge. So the comments on this video, this first one, it says you're so chaotic. and I'm obsessed, which is, I think, pretty fair assessment

of your storytelling. It's like chaotic neutral. I don't have a little chaotic label. I just feel like getting run over shouldn't mean chaos. It wasn't my fault. You caused chaos. Blame her?

She caused chaos. That's what I'm saying. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You know what? It's funny. I used to do that on Snapchat too. That's kind of how I started, like, posting. I would like post stories, rants, yeah. Same.

Look at us. So cringe, though. I know. I can't believe. I used to do it for free. You and me both, too. The way I still do it. You and me both.

One time I literally, I posted, like, the longest Snapchat story. I think right before, like, Instagram stories really took off. But, like, I posted the longest Snapchat story about my first time doing jury duty and how upset I was. But it was mostly just, like, having to go through security. Like, this one lady, like, I swear to God, that bitch thought I was, like, Karen something something in there. Like she said this is the one.

Like me, I had a crop top on. I was trying to get excused. Like I was like, I was like, bitch, I'm 19. Like I'm not here to blow up the courthouse. Like she truly like was rummaging through my bag so severely that she broke half my shit. She made me open some of my tampons. It made me so incredibly angry. I like recorded like a three minutes Snapchat story.

I'm screwed. That's funny. And so like now when I look back, I'm like, that's so ridiculous. But like, you know when you're younger, like everything makes you mad. No, no, literally. Like, so upset to the point where you need a dog even. I used to always make fun of everything because I'm like, I don't know, my family does that. Yeah.

I feel like your mom's like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm like, like my family, anything bad happens, like immediate joke for no reason. Anything. Same. Same.

Like anyone's dead. Like dog died, whatever. Same. Hot dog. Oh my God. You want to know a joke. Okay. This is so funny.

But speaking of like dead dogs. So like, my dog. my family had a dog this is a story I would tell and like I always know when it's gonna hit when it's not because like

white people like really don't like this story because they think it's like terrifying but like my family laughed so hard when it happened so like this you know it's just like we deal with things differently but like I had a bulldog like an English bulldog he was old

I honestly think he was haunted a little bit I'm screaming that's just my theory I think he had something going on up here but anyways that's neither here nor there my dad used to want to take them on walks all the time and I'm like that's like their breed does not like to walk like especially in the heat like if it's hot right English bulldogs I don't know is it just a regular dog yeah yeah yeah they're just the no the target dog dog I'm not the dogs and English follows like the big they're like they're big they're big like chunky ones they have all the wrinkles they have big bulldog faces yeah they're really cute but they hate walking because they just don't like to walk they don't breathe right yeah so like my dad would insist on walking them all the time and so like my mom and dad

took and my mom was like let's take him back to the house because he was like dying in the heat they'd only been walking for like five minutes and my dog was like I'm over this like I'm trying to go home so like my mom was like pick him up and and let's carry him back to the house so my dad picks him up and then he's like passed out have ever seen a dog pass out yeah he was literally like literally like so yeah yeah so my dad's my mom's like hurry we had to take him home like I think something's happening to him. Like, I think he's dying. It's not funny, but like, just wait.

So he's holding him. And then this, like, neighbor comes out. They're like, oh, what a cute dog. Mind you, he's like, in my dad's arms. My dad's holding him. He starts shitting himself. Like, he's releasing his bells. Like, he's dying.

So there's, like, black tar shit going down my dad's shirt. And my dad's making conversation. But it's like, oh, yeah, he's about like, probably like six. Like, he's shitting himself on my dad. But my dad just doesn't have it in him to be rude. And the guy's like, oh, yeah. And then they're watching him shit himself on my dad. And my dad's like, yeah, you know, like, yeah, he's a good boy, you know.

And my mom's like, hurry up. Like my mom. How is no one? My mom comes. She's like, we need to go. I'm so sorry, but we need to go. So they take him back. He's, I swear to God, like, he's gone.

Like, he's like, right? And then my mom fills up his little pool and, like, puts ice and shit in there. And she puts him in there. She starts, like, fucking, like, trying to do, like, CPR on him. And he's like, like a roach. You know what I'm saying? I'm screaming. And then my mom calls my sister because it was her dog.

And she goes, I think your dog might die today. But I'll keep you up to me the story. I go, why would you tell her like that? She was like, I just wanted to let her know. And so my mom was like doing CPR on him. And he comes to life. Like he comes back to life. And then he shit himself all night.

Like he was just like overheated or whatever. But like my mom's mom's like, I saved his life. And he lived. for like six more years after that. Oh, cute. But I genuinely think it's like on some Game of Thrones shit. You know how like John Snow died

and like didn't come back the same? It's just the way that you really made me feel like he died. He did. I was just like Marley and me. I'm telling you. No, he flatlined. I swear to God he was and bring. And my mom like was like clear.

You know what I mean? Like at home in a kiddie pool. And then he was alive for like six more years. But like I feel like it's just so it kills me telling stories. to people like when I know like when you start to sense it's not gonna hit oh my I hate my dead dog story is one of those like it doesn't you could tell I had another I have another dead dog story but like okay well I've had I've had countless dogs die like like like so many

and I say that with all the love in the world like my family just loves animals but like they be they do be dying you know what I mean what do you mean I've seen your stories where you talk it's animals except my uncle. Oh, is that the one that has all the animals? Okay, because I'm just going to say... Everyone hates animals in my family. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, my aunt dropped her baby because a cat jumped on her. She fully literally was just like, she was like nursing. She's like, oh. She's like, listen. No, fuck that. Every man for themselves. No, your butt. And she jumped on him by accident, I think. My other dead dog stories are I had a pair of schnauzers as family dogs. The way I need to look like a dick. They're the dogs. Have you seen Lady and the Tramp?

Okay. You know the little dog, the little black dog that buries his bones? He always hides them. He's like the smart when he has a mustache. Yes. That's a schnauzer. Okay. Look at me giving you a picture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I had. Mustache should be sold bit. I had two of those, one girl, one boy. They were like besties. The girl, she died of natural causes. Like she had like, well, not natural. She had cancer.

But like, she like got sick and then she had to be put down, right? But then my other dog, the male dog, it's not funny, but like, it's, kind of funny. I don't know how to react. At this point, at this point, that dog was like almost fully blind and deaf. Like, you literally had to like stand in front of him for him to see you like, like two

inches from his face. And so like he literally, like we always theorized that he died of a broken heart. You know what I mean? But then some of my, some of my family members think that he was pushed into the pool by my other dog because they always had beef. So we have conspiracies

going in my family, but he drowned in my pool. And like he lived at my house for like 12 years and never once drowned. Never, never even swam. No. Wait, yeah, I have. I think I have. Honestly, there might be a ghost in the camera. That's what I, and it was probably the ghost that came back with my bulldog when he died because he was still, because he was still alive at that point. My God. Yeah. And so my sister thinks that he was pushing the pool by the bulldog. Yes, we do. We have two new dogs. They're both great. It took you a second. I was literally thinking I'm like, because we've had so many. Because we've had so many dogs. We've had so many dogs over the years.

But anyways, yeah, that dog, that story doesn't hit either with everybody about my dog drowning. Yeah, honestly, there's, like, there's, like, a genre of stories that just don't hit with, like, serious people. With, like. White people, too. Like, they just, like, take everything so serious. Yeah, yeah.

Well, if we don't laugh, we'll cry. So we might as well laugh. Like, okay, okay. Okay, I don't know. Wait, if I'm allowed to say this. Okay. But, like, there was this, like, terrorist attack. But, like, I thought it was a terrorist attack.

It wasn't. So I feel like it's fine to say. Okay. But it was like a riot, but they wanted it to be like that. I was in Turkey. It was my first time. Okay. And like they were having like a little moment like where it's like a civil like,

like it's like I don't know. They were having like a moment. I don't know. It was like a little. Something was happening. What is it called? It's not a riot. A protest.

Okay. It's a protest. Okay. So they were having a protest where in this like outdoor mall think Grove. And me and my mom were walking down the street like whatever. We're about to go into this mall. And then we see like people on horses like riding through like in the middle of the people. Like imagine like on the grove like someone just on a horse like running through.

Okay. We saw that and we were like, oh, maybe it's like, you know, like maybe it's like vibes. Like maybe it's like they're having like medieval show type thing. Like we didn't think anything of it. Next thing you know, like they're going closer, closer, closer and then tear gas bomb is like everywhere. And they're throwing it around and my mom was just like, she was just like, okay, I know what's going on. We're going inside. And I was like, oh my God, what's going on?

So we run inside. We go into like the mall. I was like, mom, can we hide on the czar? She's like, no. It's right next to their front. And I was like, okay, we go to the back. We're hiding. Turns out it wasn't deep.

It was this whole thing where like people were just like, I don't know, just like pranking people or something or whatever. Like it was literally. You got so pranked. Actually. You got so pranked. They had like a bunch of, what did they call those little like things that you throw on the floor on the pops? Oh like, they're like fireworks almost. Yeah, yeah.

They have those but way bigger and they kept throwing it on the floor. So my like hair got burnt. Those were my, you know, war wounds. No big deal. But like. As a prank? No, literally, but like we go inside and we're like at this point, like we're fully like freaking out. I have asthma.

So I was like beginning to have an asthma attack. I'm freaking out. We're in the back. My mom is like looking at me and she was just like, it's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. She checks the news. She's like, never mind. And then she's like, yeah, we can leave.

She starts telling you you you're being dramatic. Literally. And we're all like in a corner in the mall like in like a safety hazard area, whatever. And now everyone's like leaving. Now I'm like finally calming down. My mom trips. And it's like, you know, those. like, you know, like the ramps?

Yeah. She like fell and tricked and kept rolling. Rolled through everyone that was trying to leave, made everyone fall, fell under everyone, and everyone just kept falling like dominoes. And it was all the way to the front of the mall. And I was just like, no way, no way, no way. And I start die laughing. But then asthma because I'm die laughing.

So my mom was just like, I don't know what to do. Just like literally it was such a mess. You're just leaving your. your mom? You're like how embarrassing. I was just gonna say there was an exit right behind this the whole time I was in I opened the door and every like gases out no asthma everything's chill we come out horse hits me. I hit I fall like run over by a horse like literally it was like grazed me hits my shoulder I fall on the floor my mom looks at me she's like huh did she go that's what I was

like literally like what but like it was like a whole or a deal whenever I told this story in the Middle East everyone's dying because like everyone's like not literally obviously but like everyone's Yeah, and everyone's like, everyone's like used to it because like we have like stupid stories like that where it's like people are using fireworks, but it's like... Where you get shoulder checked by a horse? I told this story here and like, okay, honestly I should have read the room. It wasn't a sorority. My bad. But like...

That's on me. That's on me. They all like looked at me and they're just like, are you okay? Are you safe? They're like, I have a number of a therapist. But it's dangerous there. I'm scared. Do you say?

Like I hate those. Now you're being dramatic. Yeah, that's why I'm like, whenever I tell those people, like, the stories about the Middle East. They don't hit. So blue and ocean and pretty. You never heard a gunshot till I came here. Which is probably true to an extent.

No, it is true. Yeah, that's literally. That's what I'm saying. Speaking of falling, right? I have a story about when I fell once. But, like, I was in college and I went to the airport with my friends to pick up my friend's mom. I don't know why we went in a group.

Like, there was like six of us. Why did we do that? I don't know. Right? So we go to this. And you know, they have these like buses that take you to like rental car places. So they like take you. So for those like.

Yeah. So I'm in Hawaii at the time and like the way that they ghost ride those those buses, like they whip them. Like they drive like 90 out the airport. I didn't know that at the time. Do I wish I did? Yeah. So I'm standing on the bus. bus like we get in the alamo bus i swear to god the the doors just closed like they just close i'm about

to grab the pole to like hold on too late he drives 90 like takes off and turns i literally shoot back like a stuntman hands feet in a pike like a cheerleader i'm literally shooting back and then i'm falling for god knows how long i think i fell for like eight minutes not one bitch stopped me not one Everyone's moving their bags. They're like, as I'm falling down the length of this bus, the thing that stopped me was I literally slammed into the driver's little leg station. I slammed. That's what stopped my fall.

Like I slammed into it so hard. I like hit my head really hard. And then everyone watched me fall. Not one person was like, oh my God, like to try and get like, I don't know, help me, I guess is the word I'm looking for. Like, okay. Like the way people desert you when you fall. I was just like my friend fell on a bike, well, fell on a bike.

Yeah. Like split open her knee and we were in the UK. And I've never seen something like this. Like fully bleeding. Like actually open. Uh-huh. In front of the like a little river where literally hundreds of, okay, hundreds of thousands of dramatic.

Yeah. Thousands of people probably walk there every single day. And just bleeding like openly. I'm freaking out. I'm like, okay, I have a problem with blood. I do start to. throw up a little bit. Like, just a little.

So I was just like, like holding pressure. So you're being like really unhelpful? Like, no, I, I kept the pressure on the entire time in my defense, okay? As you're gagging. Yeah, but I was just doing it while almost throwing up. And like, the way everyone walked past, not a single person said anything. The only person that stopped was a drunk guy.

And he was like, oh, do you want a bitch? And I was like, no. Like, go away. Like, what do you mean? Like, no one helps. at all. Like, people just ignore. I know. It would be a spectacle. I would literally...

It's a crowd. There's a co-opter. Like, for no reason. Here they're like, can you get the hell out of my way? They're like, you're, I'm walking. You're slowing down the traffic. Exima is unpredictable. But you can flare less with ebbglis.

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Ask your doctor about Ebbglis.com or call 1800 lilyrx or 1,800 545-9709. Literally my friend's mom helped me up. Not even my own friends. She helped me up and she goes, good thing you're young because that would have fell a long time ago. And I was like, well, why didn't you stop me, Lisa? Not her getting called out. Just kidding. Her name wasn't Lisa, but she was a white lady. I'm screaming.

I was like, poor Lisa. I'm like me calling her out. Okay, so we're going to move on to this next video, since we love to tell stories, right? You're insecure. Yeah, I think you've got to f*** up, sweetheart. It's not that we're insecure. It's just that we prefer women.

The half the world doesn't know what your body looks like. What? Oh. Cool guy alert. Guys, cool guy alert. Damn, you look so cool, brother. Sick glasses and chains. First off, let me say this.

Any man who spends two and a half minutes talking about how not insecure they are, respectfully, I don't believe you, bitch. But more importantly, I will never, ever, ever, ever understand why men do this shit where they create hypothetical situations in their head. They're like, if that were me, if that were me, listen, if you were my bitch, if you were my girl, if you were my bitch, she's not. She's not. And she never will be, bitch. Even on your best day, in your Sunday best, if you had three wishes from a fiendie hug,

she would never be yours. So I'm gonna end with this. Mind the business that f***ing pays you. Maybe lower your standard of what you think you look like. And last, but more importantly, bake your whole head. Just, Captain McCart. the shit, you feel me? Because that hairline, peace and love, she's gone. Bye! That's like... The bye is so iconic. Yeah, that's one of those things I've said before,

like, well before I, like, blew up how sometimes men will create, like, fake scenarios. All the time. When they're, like, you know, when they do those, like, skits and they wear the, like, towel on their head? And they're, like, at the bar, I want a man who's going to do this, this. I'm like, you're just, like,

cosplay, getting rejected. That's weird. That's weird. You sit around fantasizing about that? I think it's just weird that like it's like I feel like they've never tried. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's never, there was never an attempt or maybe there was at high school or like in high school or whatever. Yeah. It's just like I don't know. It's lame. Well, the skits they come up with that never happened. It never happened. It's embarrassing. And it's also like poorly executed. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's like you see like lots of like lots of comments. go through them all 12 year olds so it's like they're all like yeah they do be doing that yeah it's like

you like you like have you like have you like have you seen those ones where um they talk about like it's like supposed to be like going on a date with a woman nowadays and it's like it's like a dude doing the same thing it's like the cosplay where he's playing the woman and the man oh god and then he's like hey what's up what's your name and then she's like what's your sign i don't date those yeah no unless you make this much money a year i'm like that has never happened you know when they bring up signs like once like if you go on a day with someone it's honestly not that serious unless they're very deep and yeah and even then like if you don't want to know they're not going to tell you so they're just like yeah oh yeah like i know a lot about aries men and then they're like yeah

that's all that happened and then it's it's like the most elaborate way of like shirking blame so they're like it's not because of me it's because you're insane screaming. Yeah. It just doesn't make sense. Like, I don't know, like, it's like, they're boring. I don't know why. Like, it's like when I go on these, like, it's like, I don't know the podcast people,

those people irk me because I'm just like, every time I see them like, do you not see how cringe you are? Like, actually. Like, also like who's dating? Like, actually, I've always wondered, oops, sorry. I always wonder like who's dating these people? Because like, who is sitting next to that person after what they just said? Literally.

like if you think that you have someone that's good, like, hum on, like they're there for something else. Like, let's be, yeah. Like, you're obviously an asshole. Like, she's not there for you. Well, and nine times out of ten, they don't even have that. Yeah. And when they're like, well, see, like men like us. Who's

us? Like, when they want to talk, when they want to talk about being a shitty rich dude, I'm like, you don't have shitty rich dude money. So, like, you can't, like, work a Dairy Queen and also act like that. There's no way. You got to pick one. You can't You can't do both.

You simply cannot have both. They're just cranes. I'm just like, also like how many more scenarios do we need for you to prove the exact time point over and over over over again? Like, I mean, I always think like at what point do you look in the mirror and be like, maybe it's me. Yeah. And also like, where are all the girls?

Like, do, does your mother hate you? Like, I. Does your sister hate you? Like, what's going on? Just like every, if every single bitch you come across is repulsed by you, what are the odds they're all wrong? screaming. Like, what are the odds?

Like, you've met hundreds of thousands of girls and every single one of them wants to jump in front of a moving train when they meet you. What are the odds they're all wrong? He's like, all these women are just wrong. They're wrong about me. I'm just, like, so confused. Like, how does he not realize, like, oh, my God, like, I don't have a single friend that is a girl, not even my mom.

Like, it's like, how does that not happen? Not even my mom. Like, that's what I'm saying. She hates me, too. No, they all look at me. Bummer. Like, maybe it's like something with ball. And mom love.

I don't know. I've said before, like, because sometimes people get really upset about the balding jokes. And I'm like, well, people who are not terrible don't get offended by those jokes because I'm only talking to that person. But at the same time, someone that's like loki balding, you're funny. I said everyone who's balding is not a terrible person. But every terrible person is balding. So what I mean? Those Venn diagrams are different.

That's why I'm saying. Honestly, even the girls like, they're. Yeah, same thing. Same thing. That's why I said sometimes sometimes. Sometimes it's happening to them too. I just honestly don't get it because it's like, it's like how many, how does it, first of all, how does the content go off? Because like, yeah. It's always repetitive. It's always like been done before. Yeah. This skits kill me. This skits kill me because it's the same audio, same text, same everything.

Yeah. And it's just like people being like. And it's like, why are you doing all that? Or like even like when they're, I can't. I really can't. That's what I said. Just say you don't have, you don't, you're not funny and you don't have a personality outside of, like, hating women. Like, that's like where it stops. And it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I don't know. How do you expect to, like, I don't know. How do you expect to literally move on in life? Yeah. Literally, I got, I got tagged. How do you want a half of the world? Literally. I, and the one you want the most. Like, literally. Those are the people you want the most. Like, I, I got tagged in this one video where

this girl was like, talking to some dude and she was like, telling him like, oh, say it again or something whatever we just told me and um he had said like that he doesn't think women are funny like at all and i was like boring right so boring like it's so basic and then i she tagged me in it and was like what do you think about this and i always tell people this if i can't see them i can't roast them like you can't like because they'll record voices and they want me to make fun of them and i'm like i can unless i see them i got to see the mug i got to see the build i got to see something so I can like reference it but I literally commented on it and I was like ask him what he finds to be genuinely funny and if it's not a fat joke I'll eat my hat I'll literally eat it whole

I'll swallow it whole and I'll eat everybody's hats like honestly men like that are literally like they'll tell one fat joke and they'll be like I should I quit my job I'm like maybe I feel like maybe like I heard that P Davidson is leaving S&L and I think that's a spot for me I think it's opened up It's like, it's like, the fat jokes kill me because I'm just like, I'm like, I used to get those like all the time. Really? All the time. Because I was like, I used to be 380 pounds. Oh my gosh.

But I used to get them all the time and I used to just be like, like, it's literally not offensive. Like I don't know how to. Yeah, being called fat is not offensive. I'm literally like I own a mirror. I promise. Like, girl I know. Like there's no. It's a very neutral term to me.

So it doesn't bother me. So I'm just like, it's not deep. Like it's like, I was like, I don't know. It's just never made a difference. So I'm like, whenever I see the fat joke. online they kill i don't know why like they're so lame some people like that are bigger they they'll do a dance and kill it yeah actually do it really well yeah and then like all the the comments are horrible about it yeah not funny yeah they're all repetitive and it's the exact

same thing it's like bro we all know well like you think they you think they don't know like you think we don't you think everyone in the like in the universe is like completely unaware of what they look like it doesn't need to be like why is it so deep for you like why are you so like triggered by it. Yeah. Like, where you so like. That's why I said. I've said, I like make videos about fat phobia all the time.

And I've literally said there's a really thin line between love and hate. And if you talk about fat people all the time. It's weird. I think you love them. I think you love them. I think you're projecting because you love them and they'll never love you. I don't know like. Well, and even then if.

I don't know if you've ever noticed like fat people that lose weight and get skinny and then start hating fat people. Yeah. I hate the. Oh my God. Like being kidding me of I hate you. Well, and the, the menanness vibes. You're all in the same boat. Like, I can't.

Well, yeah, and they're like, I did it. Okay. And. Well, and you know what's funny is like, okay, you want to call people fat? Like, you're ugly. So, like, that's worse. Like, and you can't love. And you're not funny.

Yeah, like you are fighting your own genetics. Like, that sucks for you. Like, I can't even imagine. I'd be mad too if I woke up and I looked like that. Like, that'd be a bummer. And that's why I said sometimes I feel bad for them because, like, I think they've never seen their reflections. I think they don't own mirrors. Honestly, I think, I don't know if this is true.

So someone like fact-tog, but like, I'm pretty sure it's like you see yourself as 10 times better than you actually are. Like, that's how you receive. Honestly, I think so. I thought it was the opposite. No, I think you, like, I feel like no, yeah. I'm not sure. Honestly, I think you feel like you look better than you actually are. Oh, yeah.

But, like, I feel like their meter is broken. They think they're 100% better than they actually. Well, you'd be surprised because sometimes when I, like, talk to these dudes and I'm, because they call me fat and ugly all the time. Well, they call me fat the most, but they, a lot of times try to call me ugly too. Did you know that you're a toddler than that? No, they don't believe me. They don't believe me. They think I'm like 5-2, which is bizarre because I was 5-2 and I was 8, so, which is concerning.

5-2 last week. Fuck me. So, like, sometimes when you talk to them and I'll literally tell them, I'm like, I don't think, like, I don't think, like, If I was to seek counsel on the authority on good looks, I don't think I'd ask you. Like, I think you'd be the last person I'd ask, honestly. And they'll literally say, I know I'm not good looking. Then what are we talking about, babe? Like, that's why I said last time.

So I'm like, twins. Like, I guess we're both ugly then, right? That's like, I guess we're both so hard on the eyes. Like, it's so annoying because it's like, like, why? Like, honestly why? Like, you left everything in life to do that. Like, literally why? Like don't you have bills to pay like a job

Clearly not To play like pick your nose like find something I don't know man Sometimes that's why I'm like They'll be like I know I'm not I'm not good looking Okay cool Congratulations

That's what I'm glad we're on the same page No they kill me It's just they're honestly boring It's that you're boring more than anything If you were funny while doing it Maybe I'll be like dang like It's messed up that you saw that but it's funny Yeah I sometimes see stuff like that

Sometimes I see stuff like that. I'm like, no, that was kind. I mean, kind of. I saw, like, you had the opportunity, but you didn't execute properly. And sometimes they'll say the same thing about funny. Like, I don't know. I know you said you don't really get hate at all, which, like, must be nice. But, like, I don't know if you ever get people saying you're not funny.

Oh, like, I'll get that, but I literally reply to him like, I've never said that I was. So, like. Thanks for pointing it. Cool. Thanks. Sometimes they'll ask me that. They'll say, like, this bitch isn't even funny. whatever, right? And I'm always like, and this is coming from

you know what I mean? Like someone with 15 followers, no for sure. For sure, for sure. And then I think I think all the time because sometimes men get really mad that I have a platform and they're like, I don't even know why. Like one dude made a video about me once and said like they picked the ugliest bitch he's ever seen in his entire life, which can you imagine saying that so boldly. Wait, he's talking about you? Yeah, he said I was the ugliest bitch he's ever seen. But then I was like, really? Like I was thinking, damn, like, you must be hanging out with Bella Hadid if it's the face.

I mean, like, geez, Louise, man. That must be the only face you see constantly. You know what I mean? Like, you must be surrounded by Hadid's and Hadid's alone. Like, there's no way. There's no way. The Kardashians are not involved. No, it's just the Hadid's.

Like, it's just them. Yeah, Bella and Gigi and Gigi's baby, like the three of them. Those are the only three people you've ever seen in your life. But I was, he said that about me. And he was like, I don't know why you guys picked this. girl and I was like they didn't pick me because I'm the hottest they picked me because I'm the meanest that's why they picked me they bestowed that honor on me too like it's like I think so when someone's unfunny it's like you're stupid yeah maybe not maybe you don't have the same humor but

you're actually done like that's what I think I think that too I'm like humor and beauty are both subjective so it really just depends objective to a degree I feel that's true that's true kind of be like oh like they're cute but not my vibe yeah like same thing like they're funny but not my humor. That's true. Yeah. And it's also like if the only people who say that, like, find, like, racism funny. So, like, I'm okay if you don't find me funny. Like, that's cool with me. That's all right with me. I really don't want you in my house. So, like, get out. You know what I mean? Like, that's why I'm like, then tell me a joke. I'm screaming. I want you to tell me a joke that you find genuinely funny. For me, like,

I'm just like, that's the comment that I'll get a lot is either like you, oh my God, you fake laugh. You same. Yeah. Same. Like, guys, you don't understand. I cut. out the laughing. Like I actually go in and edit and cut out the laughing. Me too. The ones that I can't get out. Same. So I'm like I promise no. But like there's that and then there's the the like oh it's not like it's not funny. It's not funny. I'm like

it's honestly fine. Like I don't I never. You know what I'm going to do delete my whole account now that I read that. I'm never going to create again. I said it's a story time. I never promised funny. It could be scary. You don't know that. But like hang around and let's find out together. I think Yeah, the, it's not funny. I get that the fake laughing. Like, why do you laugh so often? Like, after everything?

And one time I made a video saying, like, I'm funny. I find myself hilarious. So that's why I'm laughing. I'm like, maybe you can't relate. I feel like maybe you don't laugh very often at yourself. Like, people are laughing more so at you than they are with you. Can't relate, babe. Like, I love my own jokes.

I'm not going to lie. Me too. All the time. Like, just like watching TV commentary, I will make myself laugh. Dude. I just thought of a joke. Oh, me too. I love doing commentary.

Oh my God, my sister and I talk during movies all the time. Me too. And shows. I hate people stay silent in movies. I'm like, I don't know what you're thinking. And I was my mom refuses to sit next to us

because we talk too much in the movies and she like needs to focus. My boyfriend just got used to it. Like me talking the whole time. I'm like, I'm like, did you hear me? Did you hear what I said? He's like, yes.

I heard you. I'm trying to watch. I'm all right, whatever. Yeah. I will repeat the joke. I will repeat the joke if you don't acknowledge it. I will repeat. it's obviously fine.

One time someone commented on one of my videos. This is like, to this day, this makes me laugh. But like they wrote what the, what the hell is an uggo? Because I call people uggos. So they said, what the fuck is an ugo? That's what they wrote. And then I wrote back, go look in the mirror. I laughed for an hour, dude.

I was laughing so hard, bro. I was literally laughing so hard. I started crying and I was showing my boyfriend. And he was like, he laughed, but like not as long hard as I did. But I was like, because you just got so God, bro. like I just said go look in the mirror and then he just blocked me like immediately he didn't even want to talk to me after that

and I was like shit like that makes me laugh so hard like Joe Mama jokes I was gonna say D's nuts jokes anyone says anything annoying I just reply to your mom but because I think it hits better like your mom you know what I mean like it hits better like your mom

but it's just it hits better I don't know so I love to just throw that in there I know I one time did like a, like I had a video that went viral and then defending somebody. And then he like, the dude that I ripped up, he like made like 15 videos about me. I was trying to like mobilize the gym community against me. Like he literally lost his marbles. And so like I made a one response video and I was like typically I don't revisit the gravesides of my roast. But like this dude made a lot of accusations.

So I'm going to like address them all in one video. So I did the whole thing. It was relatively serious to an extent. I still made jokes here and there, but like it was pretty serious. And then at the end, I was like, you said you're all about spreading love, right? And I showed all these death threats that his followers were sending me. And I was also, obviously, you're not about spreading love, right? And I said, but you know what you can spread?

These nuts. And that's how I ended, and that's how I ended the video. And someone wrote on my video, they said, you can say what you want about her, but you're lying if you said that that last part didn't make you laugh. Like, you're lying if that last part didn't make you laugh. I remember that video. I think that's one of the videos. that made me And someone

wrote underneath it they said Gets me every time like a D's nuts joke like it hits every time it's so funny And it's funnier

when it's someone that you don't expect Like it's like A menannist type video Yeah Like it's like That's not funny

Yeah But you saying it That's like Oh Plotswis Like a Joe mama joke I'm screaming I try to get people

With those all the time I go I think they think you're related to Joe And then they go I said that I got my boyfriend So good one time

We were talking about something random and I was with my sister and I was like he's like yeah I think they they were talking about our families I was like no I think they think you're joe son and he's like who's joe and then I was I was off because I couldn't believe I got him dude yeah I was like I got him so good bro I said Joe mama and then like we all laughed so hard and he was like all right all right I was like that was like three years ago and I still bring it up to this day I'm screed counting down the days till I get him again.

I honestly, I love doing like, what are they, the puns. I love an annoying pun. Yeah, same. A dad joke. The funnier it is to me. Oh, you know what I love. I love to do things like dad jokes kind of where they're like, you know when you, you know when you pull up to a place and like you're about to park and someone pulls out

of a spot like right in front and then you go, oh, they knew we were coming. I'm scared. I say shit like that all the time. Or like when you go and put your name in it in a. restaurant and then a bunch of people coming after you're all we came just in time like you eat you eat your whole meal and then the the waiter comes and they're like how did we did you guys enjoy it and they're like no i hated it because like all your food's gone see i know it's your show but yeah it's like i hated every bit of it

like i say shit like that all the time because it makes me laugh because i'm if you unzipped my face i'd be like a 90 year old white dude I'm convinced. I'm convinced. What's the name of the British white dude that does the nature stuff? David Attenborough? That's never mind. Not him.

He's not inside me. No. No, no, no, no, no. I rebuke that name. No, I was talking about David Attenborough. I thought you were making fun of it so I was talking about. I was talking about. All right.

I think that's going to do it for our episode today. I want to say a very special thank you to Adi. for being here. I adore you. You're so funny. I love me too. Thank you, so. I love you.

I love you. I'm screaming. I am a Leo, so. Oh, love that for us. I hate that, but it's honestly fine. Do you really? I'm a Leo, the Cancer Moon.

I feel like it's... Me too. No way. I'm a Cancer Moon. Okay. I'm a Virgo son, though. What's your rising? I like Burgos.

I'm a Gemini. Ooh. That's why you're so chaotic. I'm screaming. That's why you're so chaotic. You live life on the edge. I describe like, well, no, not Gemini's.

was thinking in Aries. Never mind. My joke was gonna, my joke was gonna, my joke would be so funny if you were in Aries, but I'm done. You're not so, never mind. But I want to thank you so much for joining us today. I adore you. I'm so fun. I'm so happy I met you. Me too. You're the sweetest. Where can everybody find you? Um, on everything at the, I don't know. Easy peasy. No, literally. Just A.E. I, no, I'm kidding. You can spell it for them. It'll see it on the screen, but. Yeah, I feel like it's fine. Okay. You don't need to find. Honestly, block me if you're fine. Don't worry about that. Thank you all for joining us today on this episode of the comment section show. If you want to catch full-length episodes, you can subscribe to the Past Your Bedtime YouTube channel. They drop every Wednesday at 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. And for those of you who want to stream the comment section, they're available on all streaming platforms, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon, wherever. Come find me, bitch. You know where to find me. And I want to thank Adiv once again for joining us.

And we'll see you next week. Bye.