The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - WHY DO TRANS PEOPLE TRIGGER YOU? | Drew Afualo ft. Jesse Sullivan | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 20

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

[video available on Spotify] Drew welcomes Jesse Sullivan this week as they talk about gender identity and gender expression.  Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Jesse: https://www.tiktok.com/@jessesulli Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I bought my boyfriend a bag, right? And he was like, he was dying for one. He was like, I could put all my things. I was like, isn't that crazy? Like, you have a thing to hold your thing. Yeah. Hey everyone and welcome back to a very special episode of the comments section show.

Before I introduce my wonderful, amazing guest, I want to announce that it is the season finale. So I am dressed for the Met Gala and that's because I wanted to and it's my show. So on to my favorite person of the day. day. It's my newest guest, my last guest of Season 1, Saving the Best for Last. Jesse Sully. Hi, I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to have you. I'm honored. I know. This is like, you're literally like a celebrity in my household. Stop. Stop. Stop it.

Alone. There you go. There it is. Yeah, it's famous. The laugh. I told Jesse last and this is a little insider info. I messaged him and I said, hey, I'm a dress for the Oscars. Take it as you will. I never tell anyone. Sometimes people come in. They're like, I like how Drew always picks a theme and doesn't tell her guests. Like, I'm literally like a cowgirl. I'm an e-girl. And then I'm dressed for the Oscars.

So I tell Jesse, Jesse goes, I don't have a suit. So I'll do my best. You're the complete opposite of me. No, actually, like, I was like, well, I could probably throw together something a little like Oscar-y on. But I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go as comfy as possible. Let you shine.

It's your show. It's your season finale. I love that. I love that for us. because you support women. Hell yeah, you. You know, it's all the little ways. Right?

It's more like Canadian. You know how they say Canadian formals? Like jeans? Yeah. Jeans on jean. Yeah, that's you. That's you. The Canadian tuxedo.

Yeah, I'm just so over the top. Extra always, if you couldn't tell. Hell yeah. You should be, as you should be. But onto you, I am so honored to have you on my show. I think you're incredible. You and Arlo are the lights of my life. And Francesca, I'll throw her in there too.

Francesca, I love you, bitch. Francesca loves you too She knows how much I love her So I'm so happy Because I've been following you for a long time I literally told Jesse I was following him And Francesca before you guys got together I was peeping

I was peeping the flirting I was like I didn't even know that I didn't know you follow us that long And like she would just always like Show me your videos And I started following you And I was like

I was like starstruck I was like this is the best thing ever The feeling was mutual I was telling Drew that Me and Francesca and even Arlo too like at night literally go to bed like watching your tic-tok's cracking up dying like you can hear that laugh like in my apartment like echoing through at like 2 a.m. I'm honored. I'm so honored. I guess I'm part of your family. Yeah, you are. I'm part of your family. You're part of your family.

You're part of your family. The chosen family. You and Francesca could adopt me. I'm cool with that. That would honestly be amazing. People tell me all the time. You should adopt me. I'm like, no, I want Jesse and Francesca to adopt me. That's my dream. Yeah. And then you could be Arlo's sibling. I would love. Arlo's so cool and I'm so jealous. Arlo is so cool. I want to be Arlo when I grow up. Me too. Me too. How old is Arlo now? Arlo's 13, almost 14, but going on like 36. Like honestly way more mature than I am. What's Arlo's sign? Leo. We're both Leo. You're both Leo's. Okay, what's Francesca? A Scorpio. Ooh. Who spicy. I know. Lios and Scorpio together are either like

match made in heaven. Yeah, either match made in heaven or so bad. Just hell on earth. Yeah, the opposite. And we have our moments,

don't get me wrong, but, you know, for the most part, it's literally heaven. So, I think that's so, wow. All, is Scorpio fire?

Yeah, right? So all fire. Our household is fire. It's queer. It's a lot of things. Right? And it's so, and that's a perfect transition.

Yeah. It's our topic today. Because today, with Jesse, we're going to be talking about gender identity, which you are very familiar with. And I'd like,

I love to hear your thoughts as far as like what your first initial thought is when you hear about gender identity and how it's described or how it appeals to you. Yeah, gender identity, I think, is something that it's still like so insanely misunderstood because I think what's happening a lot still is people are mixing gender identity with sex. So whatever you're born with, they're saying, oh, no, you were born with female parts. You're going to be a female for the rest of your life. But gender identity goes so far beyond that. Yeah. And it's how you express yourself. that's what you identify with.

Yeah. And if you really can understand the simple, like, dichotomy between those two things, I feel like people would understand trans people or gender nonconforming people so much more. It's like, it's really that simple. And you can even break it down to, like, that cis people even have gender identity, right? Yeah. You know, it's how you... Gender expression.

Yeah, gender expression. And it's important to every individual, not just gender nonconforming people. So, you know, like someone once said that, like, we're technically all in costume. And I think that's true. Like, we all are. So true. And so why is there such a big difference when, you know, I transition and I dress this way or look this way, you know. Well, and gender is a construct.

Right. So it's been imposed on us as soon as we're born. We don't choose that when we were born. And it wasn't until recently that that started once, you know, religion and all of that happened. It was kind of when it started really taking its shape and kind of molding culture and society as we know it now. So that's another reason why I really loved your content because it taught me. me a lot about like gender identity, gender expression, and how like it is in no way synonymous with sexuality or anything like that, which I think is so empowering, especially since Arlo is non-binary.

Yeah, correct. So it's like it's so informative and it's so important. Right. Because I, every time I talk about this, I get emotional, don't tell the men. Don't, they don't ruin my street credit. But anytime I talk about like representation on a much grander scale, it makes me emotional because I think about how important it is to see people like you in positions of power where they have platforms right you and you being apparent to someone like arlo too so powerful thank you so much i love that i mean like i think i've told people this before that like i actually struggled with wanting to tell my story on tic talk and stuff because as like a trans man it obviously is way more comfortable to just be like okay i'm just a guy if nobody knows me on that platform i could just start posting as a guy

no one will know. Yeah. And, you know, like the night before I was deciding to do that, a 13-year-old DM'd me and was like, I'm struggling so much with, like, my gender and my household doesn't support me and I have no one to look up to and blah, blah, blah. And so it was in that moment that, like, I knew I was like, it's my duty. I have to do it for that 13-year-old. For me when I was 13 and I didn't have anyone to look up to you and for like every

young person out there. And I posted my story the next day. And that's really like how I even blew up on TikTok. Yeah, I know. I remember. I saw that video. And I was like, this is so incredible. Just like, and the bravery it takes, it sounds corny.

And I don't want to hear it. But sometimes it takes courage to post stuff like that. Oh, hell yeah. Truly vile on the internet. You and I both know that. Yes, I get vile, vile, like violent comments. Same. Same.

And it's truly horrid. Like the way that some people are so incredibly triggered and upset by you just like telling people you're saying. Yeah, just existing. and also telling other people. Right. Because it's, just because no one's ever, like, someone hasn't ever been exposed to people like you and Arlo,

doesn't mean that they haven't ever existed in the history of time. It's like, I've never seen it so clearly it's not real. Yeah. Which is ignorance. And you know what? Like something you and I have in common with our platforms that I've thought about this because so many people have asked me, like, why do you think the world is so triggered by trans people or non-binary people?

Yeah. And I always say the same thing. I think when you are so. like shamelessly you and so brave and you're unapologetic for exactly who you are. People kind of can't handle that because it triggers something inside them where they're like, I can barely just be myself as like a cis person. How are you able to be so comfortable that you're telling the world like you literally changed your body, your everything?

And I think that's kind of another reason why like men come for you. It's like they see you as this woman that is so unapologetic and that triggers something so deep and their misogyny that they literally go to bed crying at night. Yeah. And I go to bed, I sleep like this. Yeah, and you're sleeping like a baby. I go to bed soundly and peacefully.

They're crying like a baby, you're sleeping like a baby. And you know what? As the universe intended. Yes, exactly. Hell yeah. And I think too, it's another like point of how ingrained and like in an absolute chokehold, the patriarchy and toxic masculinity

and all of that has. on the world that they feel so like compelled to tell you who you are right like it's like who like like like I just get the comment like girl like over and over again but like girl girl woman girl always be a girl I'm like you took that time out of your day to say that because it didn't do anything to me yeah and and it's like who is this for yeah who is this for you or me because it's not doing anything for me yeah and then even when you if you respond to you're like okay yeah they're like exactly yeah it's like yeah and it's like you know I think what they think is if they comment that then I'm going to be like wow I am a girl

oh my god I didn't know this you know what's great I never thought about that before yeah maybe I am yeah like it's it I say that all the time especially when in my case when it comes to talking like misogynist or any sort of like fat phobia transphobia homophobia you name it because they have them all um anytime I talk about stuff like that I think to myself I can't change you. If you don't take the necessary steps to unlearn it and educate yourself, I'm sure it's hell not going to do it. Yeah, exactly. And when it comes to me, you already don't like women.

Right, exactly. You think you're going to listen to a woman tell you, hey, that's not nice to say. Yeah. That's why I cut that part out. I cut out the middleman, I'm just going to hurt your feelings. That's just how it is for me. And I love it.

Yeah. Leap. I think it's, another point to it too is that you are almost always expected to be respectful in the face of being openly disrespected. Like, they expect you to take the high road always. Always.

Always. They do it to me and I know they do it to you. Oh, they do. And, you know, it's hard on my platform because obviously, you know, a lot of it's with my kid and so a lot of our following is young. So I do always try to be, you know, as respectful as I can. But it's not my job, like you said, to teach these people.

Oh. And my job is to comfort young people, not to teach people who already have hate in their hearts. Yeah, exactly. I'm not going to change them. Like you said, like, they're not going to listen to a woman when they already hate a woman. They're not going to listen to a trans guy when they think trans people should die. Like, you know, what am I going to do for you?

And that shouldn't be expected of you. Yeah, it's really not my job. And, like, you know, you just, like, listed all the phobias. And, like, people are always like, you know, like, is it a fear? And I always say, like, they're not scared of us. They're scared of something inside themselves. And when you're scared of something inside yourself, like, what am I going to do for you? You've got to dig deep.

You've got to go to therapy. I can't help you. I was just about to say. I was just going to say, we talked about that in my last episode, too. Therapy could do wonders for you, Ben. And it could literally set you free. I feel like you should almost, like, be born a man and then just have to go to therapy. It's a requirement.

Yeah. Like, I literally think, like, getting a driver's license. Yeah. On there, it should say, have you gone to therapy? Yeah. And it's going to say, no, they're like, sorry, I can't give it to you. Exactly. You got to meet the requirement.

And then I promise every single guy would because they need their trucks. That's right. They need their lifted trucks. Yeah. Their Toyota Tacoma. I mean, what would they do without them? I know. How would anyone know how manly they are?

I know. They didn't have that big truck. Yeah, I want to say something else, how big they're, but. That too. Yeah. That too. And I think it's like, it's also to, like you said,

it's a jealousy thing. Yeah. A lot of times because they're, it's rooted in like envy because they're thinking to themselves, like, I am so insecure and I hate myself. And how is this person that the world has taught me should hate themselves?

How are they navigating life and not hating themselves? Exactly. Exactly. So they get so. like violent and angry. And it literally triggers something so deep inside them because the society has ingrained these things in them. And they're like, I don't understand why you're posting your whole life,

your whole story, and you're loving yourself. Exactly. This is so scary. What do I do? They're like, short circuit, they start like. It's a horror film to them. No, it really is. They're like, wait a second.

Like their whole world comes. It's that TikTok like, butterfly in the sky. And it's like, all the numbers are going around them. They're trying to, like, truly understand, like, the world has taught me that I should hate these people and they should hate themselves. And so it's just, it's jealousy more than anything. Yeah, absolutely. If you actually, like, look at, like, a lot of, like, different tribes, different societies throughout history, even modern ones. Yeah.

That aren't, like, Western society and aren't, you know, completely just destroyed by, like, modern religion. They actually, like, see people that have multiple genders or change genders as, like, the elite, people in society. Yeah. And they're like the elders and they like look up to them and they go to them for advice. Yeah. So it really just shows you it's a societal issue. And and that's such a good point because even like I'm someone.

So we have a third gender in my culture as well. So do a lot of indigenous cultures do. And I think it's so like absolutely wild that they think like modern civilization, which is started from like colonization and the pillaging of culture. Right. Rape and pillage of all culture. Right. And they're like, this is it.

This is the real world right here. Yeah. Don't worry about the hundreds of years before that. Just focus on these. Or even just the culture is still existing right now. Yeah. But they only see their little like white Western culture. Yeah.

And they're like, that's it. That's it. That's it. There's nothing else. I checked. I checked and they said that's it. That's it. That's us.

Yeah. So now that we've kind of like opened the door for what we're going to talk about today, for those of you who don't know what we like to do in the comment section is we bring videos here that I've been tagged in and we like rip them apart, make fun of them, make jokes, but also teach. We're choosing to teach, but not people that hate us. Yes. We're teaching people that want to learn. And that's big difference.

Exactly. That's the only time I will ever teach anybody. So for this first video that I got tagged in, I just like to give little summaries of them. So this is basically a person who's explaining how they've identified as, quote, pretty much all the letters in the LGBTQ plus. us and they kind of go through their journey of being born female identifying as a lesbian, then they were non-binary, then trans, now they identify as queer because that is the overarching term and they don't really need to define it so specifically. Right.

And I feel like, again, it takes a lot of courage and bravery to post things like that, especially on TikTok. Definitely. Because TikTok's extra rotten. Like every social media platform has like trolls and has terrible people on it. Right. Something about TikTok, man. You get on the wrong side and it's...

I know. I mean, for me, it's actually Instagram's worse, but I don't know why that is. That's actually really fair to say. That's actually true because my friend Sirius, who's non-binary. Yeah. Oh, my God, on Instagram. Yeah, they told me that Instagram's way, way, way worse for that. Yeah, like death threats.

Like, I think because I'm on the right side of TikTok for the most part, like, I just, I get them. Don't get me wrong, but it's just not as savages as Instagram. And it's like, it's just... And any facet of putting yourself out there like that and then garnering an audience to watch, it's like the best and worst thing in the world. Totally. Like it could be. I always just try to tell me self-focused on how much more positivity, but.

Exactly. I mean, and that's why, like, sometimes I'll talk about, like, the negative shit I get a lot. But, like, I'm like, it's like 98% positive. Exactly. And that little two is, it's killer sometimes. But for the most part, it's like, it far outweighs the bad. Right. good always far away far away is the bad and honestly I think if we weren't built so differently

I don't think a lot of people couldn't handle it no no I think that's why a lot of people don't like yeah I think they try to post and stuff and then they're like oh my god this the comment section you know like literally like do they ever get do you ever get people asking you like how do you navigate this yeah all the time like I like I'll have people be like you know I want to post my story you know it's similar to yours but I literally could not handle the comments you get and I'm like I just, you know, I think it's kind of just this simple, like, I focus on the positivity. Like, I like that. I get more DMs that are saying, like, hey, I'm 15 and you literally made me, like,

want to keep going. Then I do, like, you know, men saying, like, you're going to hell and, like, blah, blah. So that keeps me going, and I just let it roll off my shoulders. I'm a happy person with, you know, my own little family. And, you know, we both have our own shows. Right. I mean, it's tough. They were doing pretty well.

Do they? No. They have throwaway accounts. Like don't even have profile pictures. The anime picture. Yeah, yeah. Those little green monsters. Yeah, yeah.

That's why I'd say we're doing pretty well. Yeah. Killing it. We're killing it. The two of us. Good for us. So some of the comments on this video, like this first one says, this is why I like queer as a term so much because it's like I'm some kind of gay.

I don't have to update everyone if it swaps or changes of it. Right. Which I think is fair. I mean, it's all specific to the person, I feel like. Yeah. It's always, it's up to you. Whatever you feel is right and true. That's what you do, babe.

It's all up to you. And then this one says, this is literally why I just say I'm queer because hell, if I know any more than that. We literally just talked about this on my show. It was so interesting. We were talking about, like we had a guest son who was talking about the phases and how he went from, you know, like a kind of like non-binary kid to a lesbian to kind of back to that to now a trans man who dates men. And he was like, you know, like people could see that as like a phase as like a negative thing. But this is just me navigating my life. Why is that wrong?

You know? And something Arlo said actually after the show, Arlo was like, you know, I like queer because queer just kind of is that umbrella term that I just am non-gender conforming. And I like, and I like both sexes and, you know, and I think, you know, when I was in college, I remember like studying, like, queer theory was actually one of my minors. And one of the things that, like, I remember reading is. is they like a way to define queer is that anything that face takes the normative head on. So you're just nothing, you're just not the normative, you know? Exactly. And I think that's like a, you know, what people, those people are saying is true.

Like you can have phases, you can go in and out. And if you want an umbrella term it as queer after. Yeah. That's your. Again, it's, it's no one else's business by your own. Like how you want to navigate it, how you want to move through it. There's no timeline. Yeah.

There's no, like, you have to know by this time. Yeah. Well, no. No. It's, it's, and it's also on a spectrum. So it's, it's, it's. fluid. It's fluid. It moves and it ebbs and it flows. It has nothing to do

with like who you're supposed to be or like that's all, that's society pressure. Yeah and I think cis people are also trying to figure out their lives and having faces and it's just not amplified like ours and you know I went through from fully being a so cis representing that I like dated a man

and got pregnant and gave birth to coming out as a lesbian to now I'm a trans man. You know and like this is obviously where I'm settled in life. I'm older. I figured my shit out but like I think it's so important for young people to feel like they can have those phases. Like it's not, you don't have to be sure by 13, 14, 15, even 20, you know? Figure it out. Do your life.

Date who you want. Yeah, exactly. And can you imagine, like, if you had stuck to some of the things you decided when you were 13. Oh, my God. Like, the fact that they want to hold, like, people to the choices they made when they were 13, like who you're supposed to be or what your sexuality is supposed to be. but like they'll see a sweater you wore when you were 13. You're like, ew, gross.

How could you ever wear that? Like, I'm so glad you grew out of that, but it doesn't apply to any other facet of your life. Right, exactly. It's just wild to me. Yeah, it is. And also why people care so much? Why do they care so much, you know?

I can't relate. I'm like, I'm busy. I'm stressed. I have too much, I don't want to take on other people's lives. I can't even barely manage my own. I know. It's so crazy that they, like, lawmakers and stuff, care enough to literally try to get like trans kids not to play sports like how are you like

going to bed at night being like tomorrow i'm going to wake up i'm going to make sure that 12 year old can't play basketball yeah you know what i'm going to that's on my to do list tomorrow yeah yeah to be a bigot and then right under that it's make sure i ban trans kids from sports yeah yeah the whole like especially the issue with um trans athletes i was like some of these men yeah some of you were a little too invested in yes exactly and i was thinking i always think too I'm like if you removed yourself even further, because it's none of your goddamn business, but let's just say you removed yourself even further,

they're an Olympian and you're at home. Exactly. Judging, yeah. You should focus on that. Yeah. A couch coach. Yeah. You know what I'm going to listen to?

That Brent from Kansas. You know what? Bring him to the Olympic committee hearing. I think he needs to give us his two sense. Literally. I'm so interested what he has to say. Bring him on down. Yeah.

I just can't believe. Oh. Oh my. It's absolutely insane. The space that like the LGBTQI play, I plus takes up in some men's heads. And you know, I always say the same thing when it's like, especially a man that's doing the commenting. Yeah. I'm like, there's something.

Something going on in your. That's what I'm saying. I talked about it with Isaiah. I was like, listen. Every single time, I swear, I know, like, deep down they're just like, man, I wish I could date men or I wish, you know. Listen, listen, listen. Why do we always see like the most conservative. politicians end up coming out and like they were like caught at like a gay bar like

listen if the shoe fits babe exactly it's if it happens multiple times that's what we call a pattern yep that's what we call an established behavior but we can predict how the story ends from there oh my gosh just absolutely i just i'll never understand i'll never understand i'm like y'all have clearly don't have jobs because this is all you'd be worrying about step one go get a job they go upload your application on indeed it's free Zero cost. Yeah. Take advantage of it.

Yeah. All that time you're online. Yeah. Let's switch over to a job site. Instead of commenting on a 14 year old trans 14 year old's Instagram, fucking upload your resume. Let's go to monster.com. Yeah. Let's get on LinkedIn.

Yeah. Let's like attack some other channels. Or you know what? Go old school. Print an application out. Send it in. You know, you have time on your hands. Take it to a post office, right?

Make multiple copies. Then you get outside. Get some son. Yeah. Right? So this next comment says... The force you shower. There you go.

I mean, and even then. And even then. And even then. This last comment says, this is such a great example of how self-discovery is a process and you don't have to know who you are immediately or ever really pick a label.

Right. Amen. Yeah. I mean, I think that's kind of what we, like, we're just discussing. And I think, you know, something that like people bring up to me all the time. They're like, oh, are you so scared

letting Arlo be, like, non-binary at 13. Like, what if they change their mind later? I'm like, well, then, they changed their mind later. You know, like two years ago, a year ago, Arlo was dressing really feminine. And like people always put that on me. They're like, they dress like a boy

because you made them dress like a boy. I'm like, no, they have discovered themselves since they were two years old. Like we all should be able to. We're like, believe it or not, they have their own brain. Yeah, they have their own brain. And feelings and emotions. And I always say the same thing, like when people say that.

I'm like, so if I as a trans dad can force my kid to be trans, then you as a cis parent, forcing your kid to be cis because how does this work? They're like, whoa. We're not talking about me. Yeah. No, it's, it's only if it's gay stuff.

Like, oh, oh, okay. The part you're missing is that it's gay. Yeah. That's the part you're missing. Gay stuff. That's, that's, that's a media.

As soon as you turn it around, they're like, well, hold on. Yeah. Hold on, hold on. All of a sudden, it's not about, well, it's not about that kind of parenting. Oh, no?

I know. It's only the gay stuff. Yeah, you're like, it's not about bad parenting. Yeah, yeah. It's only about good parenting. I always say it's like giving, it's like giving kids two colors. Like if you raise your kid and you're like, okay, there's only yellow and green in the world.

Guess what? Your kid is probably going to like yellow or green. You know, probably deep down, they're going to hope there's something else out there. But they're only going to say, yeah, I like green or I like yellow. Whereas with Arlo, I was like literally there's an endless spectrum of a rainbow of colors you can like. And, you know, like just as an example, Arlo's favorite color is the more blue periwinkle. So it just is like, it's like a metaphor to who they are. I gave them the space to literally be whoever, whatever, and they've changed and they've grown,

and right now they're them, and it could be different later on, and they know that my household will love them no matter what, and that's how it should be. And that's all that matters. And then it also speaks to your ability to give them the space and, like, the trust that they know what they're doing and they know themselves best. And then I think this all the time, because, like, for me, like my sister is queer. So for me, she's taught me a lot about sexuality, gender, identity, and expression and all of that, which is I'm so grateful for, because it helps me become a better person. Believe it or not, when you're more educated, you're a better person at the end of the day, because you understand and empathize with people that may not be in the same boat you are, whatever that may be.

I think queer people in general are so great for that. And that's why, like, a lot of what I do, what I do on online is because I'm not only trying to, like, talk about LGBTQ plus issues, but I'm also. trying to use them as like an example of kind of things we all go through and trying to give everyone empathy because like you know you could hear a queer story and you could be a cis person a straight person and be like oh my god i identify with that part of that story even though i am not gay or whatever it is and i think queer people are really great at teaching empathy in general oh my god yeah you're that's so true and my sister's a sagittarius which is so funny because she's like it's it's one of those things too like for me I've talked to people about as far as like when my sister came out to me and how like we

her and I like learned more about each other in that sense I was like I always tell them to it's not about you like if you're some if someone trusts you and loves you enough to come out to you right it's not up to you to decide like well I need time to think I mean yeah maybe you do sometimes but like at the end of the day it's not it has nothing to do with you exactly I love that you said that because I promise you, like, nobody says that. Like, even very, like, woke allies, they never understand how it has nothing to do with them. No, truly.

And if someone is at the point of coming out to you, I promise they've been thinking about that every single night from the moment they were probably, like, four. Yeah. So even if they do need time to think on it or whatever, like if they're at that point of, like, coming out to you, the best thing you can do is just be, like, support them, love them and learn, like, you said.

And, like, you know, I think, too, like you said, like, you know, it, like, kind of bonded you. And I think, like, when someone you know, comes out one or two, you can choose one of two things. You can have hate in your heart. You can have fear. You can have fear for them. Or you can, you know, like, choose for it to be this amazing moment to get closer to that person. Yeah, exactly. And like when I came out as trans, like a lot of my family members obviously, like kind of pushed me away and they didn't like it. And, you know, a family member said to me, like, I feel like I'm losing you. And I was like, it's, that's so

interesting because you're actually gaining me. Because for the first time in my life, I'm me. Yeah. For the first time. Like the truest version. The truest version. And if you would have seen that, you would have actually probably been closer to me than you ever have been. Yeah. And it's their loss at the end of the day. And I think that too, because I tell people like, has nothing to do with you. That person just loves you and trusts you enough to want to share that with you, which I think is a beautiful thing at the end of the day. You should feel like honored. Yeah, absolutely, that they feel like you've cultivated a space safe enough for them to want to share that with you. And that's why I tell people all the time to mind the business.

that pays you bitch. Exactly. If it doesn't pay you, don't worry about it. Exactly. It's nothing to do with you. Yeah. So I always say like it's, if it's not paying your bills, feeding you, housing you, anything like, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. Just be happy for them. Yep. Be happy for you that they were like open enough and vulnerable enough to share that with you. Absolutely. And the only time I think that it's like when people get like angry or whatever, I'm like, that's a you problem. It's always a them problem. Once again, that's on you. That's not on me. Like, you deal with that.

I'm going to go be happy. Exactly. You can be miserable. Yes. Do that alone, babe. Do it in silence. Do that with a therapist. Very recommended. Highly recommended. Okay, so we're going to move on to this next video. So this one says basically a person is doing a sketch, showing a conversation between a doctor and a parent about their intersex child and saying that they are going to wait until their child is old enough to choose how they. identify, which I think is wildly progressive and open. I thought it was going to be negative, so I'm kind of glad it's not in that sense. But they're letting their child choose. Right. Which I think, I mean, you just spoke about that too.

Yeah, I think that's honestly such an important thing to do. I think we should be doing it with cis kids. I'm not saying, you know, don't say he or she. If, you know, I get we, so many people are so attached to that. We have the gender reveals left and right. But which I'm just, I'm not going to lie. just I can't handle. It's real cringe bomb anyways, so.

But, you know, I think at least just giving your kid that space like we talked about to decide for themselves no matter what is there is so important because then when they do, you know, let's say if they are non-binary later on in life or trans or whatever, they're not going to feel like it's this dramatic, like horrible. I'm changing these things about how you told me I was from birth, you know? Like when we set standards for kids, they have to undo them. Our generation especially has to undo these lots of things that we, you know, we're raised with like, for instance, like religion, we have to undo, you know,

the idea that like this God is telling us what we're doing all the time and we're going to go to hell if we're this or that, you know, or whatever it is. And so I think it's the same thing with gender. If you give them the space to not have to undo later on, you're doing them such a big favor. Yeah. And you're, like, leaving it up to them. So often I feel like it's, it's, everything's imposed on them. So, like, this is who you are, this is what you are. And that's why it turns into, like you said, something really scary and daunting, as opposed to, like, oh, I think this is who I am.

Yeah. And you're like, okay, cool. Like, that sounds good to me. I think that's, and it's also, like, how everything in the world is gendered. Right. Right. Literally everything. I forget, who was I talked?

I was talking to someone recently, and I was asking them if they had ever seen those dude wipes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were like, dude wipes. And I was like, it's literal wives. Like, wipes for your ass, right? Marketed towards you. But they're only for men.

Yes. They're in a black package so clearly not gay. Yeah. So when those men buy them, they're not feeling a little fruity. Yeah, they don't have to, they don't have to. These are boy wipes. These are for boys. For boys butts.

These wipes are for only boys. Yeah. And that actually shows, too, like something I remember learning when I was in college, too, was that like a lot of what people miss so much because they're so their minds are so controlled with gender is that a lot of it has to do with capitalism like it started a long time ago all the back all the way back like before money got introduced to like human beings and we were just tribes women were actually seeing all the statues and everything were women like they were held way higher than men because they were the one they created humans so they were like oh my god you guys are like

literally magic we're dumb like we don't do anything And then when currency got involved, they were like, okay, well, I am going to go, since you're literally like breastfeeding the baby, I'm going to go do this currency thing. And then it became this distribution of power. And so, I mean, we're talking about that. That was a long-ass time ago. So if that shows all the way today, they're, you know, gendering wipes. It's like the evolution of it. Yeah, so that men feel that masculinity.

It's wild. And, you know, like boy razors are blue and girl razors are pink. and it's like supposed to make you feel gender. And people don't realize how it's actually such a sense of control. No, truly. And conservatives talk about that all the time. Like they hate the control. Well, if you didn't, you would hate gender.

You would be like. No, truly. You're like, that checks out. That tracks that you feel that way. Yeah, exactly. And to your point about capitalism, it's just like that about how purses were created in order to get women to buy them.

Yes. But they were made really, I guess like, I forget what it was, just like women's pants. didn't have pockets because women didn't have money. Exactly. And they never wore pants because they were supposed to wear skirts for whatever because of religion and also modesty and all of that.

See how it all. It all goes back. Yeah, it all leads to the same center point. Which is, again, another thing of how it's like being pushed by capitalism too. And bags, like purses, now, like, I feel like now there's kind of like a shift a little bit in that sense, like lots of men are wearing bags. But remember when it was called a man bag? Yeah, a merse.

Amerse. Yeah. And I remember to like just recently actually like literally a week or two ago I bought my boyfriend a bag right and he was like he was dying for one. He was like I could put all my things. I was like isn't that crazy like you have a thing to hold your thing? Yeah. Because we have to put it in our pockets and we're sitting on it and it like hurts our bag. Yeah exactly.

And you know where he ends up putting it in my purse? So that's why get your own purse. No, that's what Francesca says too. I'm always like, can I? And she has like this tiny little purse. She's like, oh my God. Yeah, he literally always puts things in my bag. So now I'm like, now you have your bag.

Yeah. I could put things in your bag and you can carry your bag. Yeah. And I do think you're right. We're seeing shifts. And I think I honestly, it's so crazy because I was literally thinking about this the other day, how it's literally like right now I'm seeing some of the biggest changes. And it's literally like people like you.

Like I think you're you're doing something so different because like I said before, like it is so unapologetic. Like you're so not careful. And it's so empowered. to the girls in your comments that are like literally like dying, laughing and being like, oh my God, like, yes, girl, you know, like whatever. And I think we need more of that because I think for so long, even the feminists, you know, were like, like, they got categorized. Like, either as like those, like, they're so radical or like, whatever it is. And, like, I think

people like you, who are so, like, people love you. You're like, you're fun loving at the same time, but you're also, like, changing people's perspectives. And I think, like, we're going to see massive shifts, like especially with the next generation. Thank you. That means a lot to me. I feel the same way about your content, too. Like, truly transformative. Like, it really is. Like, seeing people like you have a platform, especially as a parent.

Yeah. With your child, too, is just so powerful. Like, thank you. It makes such an impact on the world, especially, I think, other people who want to be parents or they're about to be parents. Watching you parent your child the way that you do is something that will help the next generation be better

humans overall. Like, be better people to each other in general, be better contributing members of society. Yeah, and I get like young people saying to me all the time, they're like, you know, being like young and trans, I always just assumed I'm never going to have a family and you made me realize like I can

have a family and I'm like, oh my God, that's such a huge can you imagine like growing up thinking like I'm probably never going to have kids, I'm never going to find love. Like that's why I always try to show like queer love and like queer families because it's like these kids need to grow up thinking that they can have everything they want. Yeah, I'm telling you. you representation makes me

sob and I don't want to talk about it and it's just so important like and that's to the same point on the opposite end like for me too. This is something I've talked about before but like a lot of times people obviously the shit I say is like madly that single

bitch whatever but they see that I'm also in a loving relationship with a cis man who looks exactly like what they wish they look like and then they're like wait a second it's like their whole worldview shift But it's crazy because the gender construct thing, they still can't bring it in them to disrespect him because he's a man. And he's like a stereotypically big, strong man, whatever that definition means.

And so they're like, well, I can't be mean to him, but I hate your girlfriend. I hate her. She's the worst. The bitch. It's crazy, too. Yeah, like, we see this all the time in society. Like, let's say like a politician gets caught, like cheated on his wife. The first thing people will do is like, how did that? the wife not know. The guy's the one that did it. Yeah. Like, I remember when the Me Too movement was happening and I was hearing all these conservatives be like, you know, Merrill Streep, she, she was friends with him. And I'm like, why are we not talking about Harvey Weinstein? The guy that actually did it.

She's like friends. Yeah, it's like the first thing. We sat next to each other a couple times at dinner. Yeah. And like the first thing people want to do, no, even if it's the guy doing the thing, is like, blame the girl somehow. Yeah. They're like, that's why you're such an easy tart because they're like, you're the, you're the one saying it, and you're a female. Like, oh my God, I can't handle it. Double whamper. This is Euphoria Calvin Klein. The new elixir collection, featuring three perfume intense scents, inspired by a unique

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and it was someone saying, her boyfriend must be a model for hire or something like that. Like, because there's no way. And then some woman said, I can tell he's getting tired of her shit. How? Hell. You never see him, man.

And I think to myself, when they're like, a model for hire, I'm like, just say you want to kiss my boyfriend. I think that's okay. You can admit that. Honestly, both the boys and the girls that come up and be like, I think you all just want to kiss my boyfriend. I think you want to kiss him on the lips. That's all right. That's okay. And I said, one time I was like, listen, if he were to ever leave me, I don't think he's going to pick you.

Yeah. That's just my guess. What do I know? What do I know? Consider me an expert, I guess. But it's, again, it all leads back to the same thing. Like none of them see women as having any sort of thoughts or feelings outside of men. Yes.

So they're like, women are objects and men are sentient humans that have ambition and goals and drive. Exactly. And women are just things to look at. Accessories. And like, I think that's why they like have to bring the boyfriend in because they're like, oh, she's not doing it enough on her own. Let me bring him in and make sure she knows that she only exists because he exists. Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. And you're like, I have my own show. Can you believe it? Yeah. My following on here is amazing and it's about me and my laugh. Just like, just like you said, like Arlo has their own brain, their own thoughts, their own feelings. Like they decide what they want. Because that's what they're entitled to.

They're allowed to do that. They're their own person. I've raised Arlo so obviously like the opposite of most households that Arlo has almost too many thoughts and opinions. Like I'm like, kid, calm down. Like, they are, like, schooling me every single day, and I'm like, okay, okay, well, I am a parent, but okay, you're right. You're right. You're right, but I'm still apparent. Like, people think when they see us, they're like, they think Arlo's such a mini-mean.

I can't even express how that is so not true. Like, Arlo looks for ways to disagree with me. Like, looks for them. Like, I'll be like, oh, yeah. That's Leo's. Yeah, that's Leo's. I'm like, oh, yeah, this is like a really good drink. And I'm like, no, it isn't.

And I'm like, oh, okay. You liked it yesterday, but. There's just stirring that pot. Yeah, yeah. constantly so their own person. But at the same time, I love that because like what we're saying is I'm like, I literally, they have their own brain. They do whatever they want. Yeah. And that's, I feel like, I mean, that's like every parent's dream is that your child grows up to be a good person. Right. And then also like paves their own way in life. Like is happy, fulfilled and satisfied with all their choices. And they don't have any regret. I feel like that's all you could really ask for. Because for every person on this planet at the end of the day, you go to sleep with your own brain and you die one day with your own brain. So. you got to be happy with it. Right. And that's why, to me, it's so important to love yourself and be proud of who you are.

Yeah. And to watch creators like Jesse and Arlo. Make sure you watch them. Okay, so some of the comments on this video, like this one says, I wish parents actually did this even for cis babies, like you said. I mean, it's, you're, and you said this isn't like radicalizing you at all. It's literally just let them make their own choices. Yes.

That's simple. It's not that hard. Yeah, it really is. And I, and you swear, like, sometimes people swear, you have to make the room blue if it's born with mill. I can't handle this. You have to make it blue. You have to. There are other colors.

Yeah. You can choose white or brown. And you know what, like little boys, like the things we put on them as such a young age and obviously little girls, but like pink and princesses and girly and dainty and boys climbing trees and getting dirty and skin knees and like guns and all this. It's like, what are we doing? this is so weird. Yeah, if you look at it from the outside, that's so weird. It's so weird. That's so strange.

And my little nephew, like, kind of because my sister, you know, knowing me, like, raised him very gender neutral. Like, he still has boy things and they're not, like, radical in any way. But one day he's in an Elsa costume and then the next day he's in a Ninja Turtle's costume, you know? Like, let them just like things. It's just let them do what they want. They'll figure it out. Trust that they will because you're a good parent. Yeah, exactly.

That too. Yeah. And then this next comment says, I can't even imagine a situation where you don't even feel supported or understood by professionals. Right. So, like, doctors, obviously. Right. And again, it's because of things like patriarchy, misogyny, toxic masculinity.

Capitalism, even. It's all intertwined in it, you know? Yeah. Like, as a trans person, like, having to, because I haven't legally changed my name or gender yet. Like, so, like, when I go to, like, the doctor, I have to use those things and then instantly, like, be, like, Okay, no, I go by he, him. I go by Jesse. And I have experienced so many, like, awkward, horrible things, like, in a doctor's office.

Or, like, a pharmacy. I, like, had a pharmacist be, like, yell in front of everyone. Like, why do you need testosterone? You're a girl. And I was like, are you kidding? This is 2021. And I'm not at the time, you know, in a professional medical field. Yeah, it's crazy.

There's no semblance of understanding empathy. Right. Education. And it's not like they don't, come on. Like, you know trans people exist. Yeah. You're going to make me like play this game with you. Like I have to be the one to break the news to you.

Exactly. And like I'm lucky like I have the LGBT center here. So they're like so about like getting your pronouns straight and all that. But I feel you know so many people in this country don't have that. Yeah. And so they don't care to try and learn. Yeah. And I and I talked about this too with my friend Sirius, but we were talking about pronouns. And I was I was literally saying like, do you know how like violently bigoted you have to be for that?

to like hinder your everyday life like alter like someone tells you like this is what I go by and you're like no yeah like that that's deranged behavior like so crazy to me something's off yeah like I don't get it I don't get so many people when I started going by he him were flat out like no I will not say that and I was just like it why what does it cost you it's so easy you know you're like oh okay like yeah and I even I get it for people who like knew me by like she her for you know, so many years, and it was an adjustment. Like, I get that. Yeah, yeah.

But, like, flat out just being like, nah, you know, I'm not going to try. No, I don't think I will. Yeah, and just going to say. And they want you to be okay with it. Yeah, and, like, especially, like, as far in my transition as I am now and I'm around those people, I'm like, where? Where's the she? I don't get this.

From the start to just to right now, it's a choice that you're making. You're intentionally being ignorant and transphobic. Exactly. And for what? For who you performing for? No one's here. It's just you and I. And then I also, like, when our,

came started told me so casually you know I want to go by they then we're literally on our way to the grove on a way to the movie and they were like you know I want to go by they them I instantly when we got to the cheesecake factory when they asked I was like oh yeah they want that you know yeah it's the best it's so good it's so good Arlo loves it and I was like oh yeah they want this chair and Arlo looked at me because it was like instantaneous I didn't even have to mess up and then that hit my brain because I was like I was like why did it take so many people in my life to so long and still they're not doing it you know, two and a half years later, I'm like, because for a second, I was like, maybe it is just like that adjustment.

And I was like, no, because I said she, her for Arlo for 13 years. And then overnight, it was they, them. Hmm. Interesting. Costs you nothing. And it's so impactful for them. Oh, my God. Their little look up at me when I did that, like, I was like, that was it alone for me, you know?

That makes me want to cry. Oh, my God. I love that so much. It's, again, another thing, like, that's an intentional, that's a choice you're making to be a terrible person you're choosing to act that way. Yeah. Something's wrong with you, man. Like, I think that all the time, I'm like, you need help.

Yeah. You need professional help. For a pronoun? It's like we're stripping it down to the most bare minimum and you're struggling. Yeah. And also it also lends itself towards like when they go off the rails and they're like, they're trying to force me to like, no one, you asked me. Yeah.

And then you also think too, not everyone, obviously like if someone's known in your whole life and if they. slip up. They're going to be like, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. I mean to do that. And no one's going to jump up your ass for that. That's never happened. Literally, I think about it all the time. I'm like, you're fantasizing and like making up these fake scenarios. What if? Have never existed. Yeah, what if, what if, what if the sky fell tomorrow? Like, we could sit here all day and do that. None of those things have ever happened.

Like even like, the gendered bathroom issue and I'm like, would you want me in the girls' bathroom? Like, if I walked into the girls' bathroom, they would be like, holy, like, they'd be like, excuse me. Can you leave? Yeah. You know, I always think that. Like, how, why are you sitting there at night worried about, like, me going in the boys' bathroom? Yeah.

Why are you thinking about that? And then they always are like, it's dangerous. I'm like, it literally has never happened where like a trans person has, like hurt someone ever. In the history of time. Yeah. And on top of that, even, okay, let's say that that was going to happen. Yeah.

Let's just humor you for a second. Are you going to do anything? Yeah. Because you don't do anything with cis people get assaulted. All the time. You sit and you watch. So sometimes you part of it. participate. So who's to say? You're going to jump in and be a savior then?

Yeah. All of a sudden you're going to turn into like the defender of women. Exactly. When the like Me Too movement was happening, they were like, poor men, they have to be so careful in the workplace. They're so afraid. How can they live? And then like a trans person goes in the bathroom and they're like, oh, I'm so worried for women. They're like, I'm putting my day job and I'm sending outside this bathroom all day. Exactly. No one's coming in here. Quitting, sitting on my couch and I'm just going to tweet about the bathrooms all day long. I'm never going back to work. This is all I'm doing. Which really shows where the issues lie, right?

Exactly. Well, it's very telling. Like, you don't actually care. I say that all the time, especially about when men try to like, with me specifically, they'll try to be like, oh, you don't care about male victims or you don't care about this and you don't care about that. I'm like, let's stop sitting here and pretending like you give a shit about victims. Because you don't.

Because if you did, you would care about all victims, not just when you can use it to further your misogynistic agenda. Like you can hold that and use it to repress women further. That means you don't actually care. Exactly. You just hate women. You just, and that's okay. Yeah.

I mean, it's not, but like admit it. Yeah, at least own it. I say my old time, I'm like, when it comes to big, it's like just outright. Yep. There's a little bit more respect in there from me because I'm like, at least you know. Yeah. When you pretend and it's hidden under this guise of like protecting people. Yeah, like I'm a good guy.

Yeah. I'm one of the good ones. I'm worried about you. Since when? Yeah. And I said, and as they worry about women in that sense, but as I said,

they don't worry about me getting death threats from random ass dudes. They're like, well, that's different. And I also hate the whole, like, I understand,

like, male victims and I, I think this is an issue, but it's, when you're comparing it to, like, the female thing, I'm like,

this has been going on for so long. It's like disproportionate. It's so disproportionate that, like, what are we talking about right now? Like, yeah, of course,

that's a problem. But really at the end of the day, the common denominator is that it's men who are doing both. The victimizing. Yep. So what are we talking about? They're trying to defend men in doing this when really if the people who are doing the assaulting in both cases are men, they miss the whole point.

Right over their head. It turns out you're the root of all evil. Yeah. So I literally, I said that before, like, especially when it comes to like abuse, right? You know how like some shit-ass dudes will be like equal rights, equal fights or whatever? Yeah. Well, if women want to do this, then we should be allowed to hit you. First of all, why is that the only thing you're thinking about?

Assault. Like, why is that on your mind? Why is that the first? Okay, then come over here and I'm going to punch you in the face. I get one good punch. As hard as I can and that's in the name of the law. You want rights.

Yeah, you want rights. Go over here and get them. It's like violence is all they can like go back to. That's unhinged. Check it out. Right. Go to a doctor. But on top of that, I think, too, like when it comes to like fighting or like any sort of,

I, yeah, there are male victims. who get hit. Yes. No one has ever said those don't exist. Only women do. No one's ever said that. So when you only bring it up to counter when women talk about being assaulted, then you don't actually care about who gets assaulted. That's why I was saying it's not in the absence of men getting assaulted. It means there's a disproportionate amount of women who get assaulted far more than men get falsely accused or also abused. So that's why I'm like it's... And if it's the issue, of like victims at hand then why aren't you focusing on who's doing the assaulty men why aren't you on that let's let's go to the start you know okay well let's start from ground zero yeah from ground zero

if we start there maybe we can actually fix some some shit in society versus victim blaming and trying to you know like just combat every argument with like well what about well what about this what about me yeah what about me i'm like no one cares about you yeah that's why i always think i'm like well has that ever happened to you no Then what are we talking about? Why are you only bringing that up when I'm talking about women? And it's like it's kind of the same thing too when men are being really fatphobic towards women. And they're like, well, what about me when I get made it for being short?

What about it? And I think like you're you're not oppressed because you're 5-3, bro. You don't get oppressed. You don't lose out an opportunity. You get a good razz every now and then. Is that the same thing as almost being killed because doctors won't take your medical diagnosis seriously. Exactly.

No. So like what are we talking about? If anything like even like you talk about like you know a workforce and stuff like you see a lot of really short CEOs. So clearly they're thriving. I think they're doing well. Yeah, they're doing well.

I mean look at those two brothers on what's it called selling sunset. Look at those. I saw those dudes in real life. They're like five one. Yeah. Easily like killing it in life. And they're doing just fine. Yeah.

They're making money. They're dating. Exactly. Dating women far taller than them. Right. So I was equating being short to like, being trans. Yeah.

Oh, we both. He's like, I get it because we both have it hard. Yeah. He's like, in any way, shape, or form the same?

Yeah. They're like, well, what about me when I'm short? Yeah, exactly. What about it? What about it? Yeah,

they can't even comprehend like what, like someone like me goes through to get what I am. Not even. But girls, they say I'm too short. On my dating app,

I'm like, oh, same thing. Someone called the government. Yeah. Honestly, we need to get. Same thing is like me walking, like in a group of like men who can tell I'm trans

and like actually fearing for my life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, those two are the same. Yeah, those are the same. Those are the same. When women are like, oh, I would like to date someone taller and then fearing for your actual life.

Yeah, those are the same. For sure, for sure, for sure they are. No, they aren't go to therapy once again. So that's like, I guess like, honestly just the best conversation with you because I learned so much from you all the time. Same. Even more so now.

But I, what is this something that you want? everyone to know whether it's being about you know acknowledging trans people uplifting them being a parent like being a parent to a non-binary child like what's something that you just really want people to know i think i just want people to kind of like leave this with you know i i think we highlight the differences a lot in order to show similarity so like you know people always come at me as you know like commenting negative things about who i am like oh i've changed like my body i've changed these things like I'm not a real man, but what I really want people to know about trans people, especially because I know, like, young people are listening and watching, is that we're actually more similar to you

than different. You could ever imagine. And we're all just humans existing, yeah, going through phases, yeah, changing things about us. We all change things about us. We all, the clothing we wear, everything we do is all just to make us feel better when we look in the mirror to make us feel better when we go to sleep at night. And when you amplify those similarities, I think it can actually like bring

people together more than it can, you know, separate us. Yeah. And it's also, it's, it's something that, like, I feel like really opens your eyes. Like when you, when you learn more from people like you, when you follow creators like you, like Arlo, you learn that there's much more to life than focusing so hard on, like, what other people are doing and who they're loving and how they choose to express themselves. Gender expression and gender identity as a whole, there's so much more. more life to live and love to receive. And it's just not worth the time and energy to get mad at someone on the internet because

they're doing something you're not really that familiar with. Exactly. And my motto for life, like this is something like I learned when I got older and I do this in my relationship. I do this and everything is choose love. And I promise if you're like listening right now and you're someone who like comments negative things in that moment remind yourself choose love and I promise your whole life will change.

For the better. For the better. For the better. For the better. in your, you know, family life, in your friendships, in your online life, whatever it is, choose love. Absolutely. That simple.

That's so true. And I, and just like one more story, I had a dude once make a video about me. And he told me that if I, if he had seen me or found me like two, three years ago, he said he would have hated me. But he said he realized like he was so unhappy. Like he was unhappy with who he was, where he was at in life, his love life, everything. And he said, he read. a book and he heard about like the dog and the nail story.

Have you heard this story? It's basically a story about like a dog that sits in the same spot every day and there's a nail. And every time he sits down it hurts him, it pokes him. So he yelps out, but then he just continues to sit there. So someone asks, why does the dog keep sitting there if it hurts? And then he said because it doesn't hurt enough just yet. So like it hurt, it got to a point where it hurts so much that he's like, I have to do something because I'm unhappy. And so he started reading more and speaking to more women.

he started talking to our LGBTQ plus people. He started learning and reading and educating himself. And then he realized why he was so unhappy because he hated himself. At the very end of the day, he hated himself more than anyone else, anyone on the internet or anything. So he basically stitched my video and made a video about me because he was saying like people like her are important because you're never going to listen until it hurts too much. Absolutely. And then you're going to have to change. You're going to have to look yourself or you're going to fold and leave and bitch out like most of them do.

But some of them might learn. and decide for themselves, like, I don't want to be like the same. Yeah, and like what we've said this whole time, like, if you're truly happy on the inside, like you're not going to be a hater. No. It's like, you know, I hate to, like, quote legally blonde,

but like, happy people do not kill their husbands. You know what I mean? Like, it's, they just don't. Yeah, they just don't. So it's like, I feel like when you have that inner peace, it's going to obviously make everything else in your life so much better. Absolutely.

You attract what you put out into the world. Hell yeah. I believe that 100%. We both know that. Yes, we both know this. Because once again, we're doing pretty well. We're doing pretty good.

I'm so happy I got to talk to you today. I adore you. You're so smart and amazing. Where can everybody find you? So everyone can find me on all social media platforms at at Jesse Soli. J-E-S-S-U-L-L-I. Beautiful. And make sure you follow Jesse and learn and open your eyes and your heart.

And I promise it it'll be worth it. I love you so much. I love you so much. Thank you so much for coming. I'm so honest. Please tell Arlo, I'm so, so inspired by that. I will. I'm trying to be like Arlo every day, honestly.

Honestly, that's what most people should do. Everyone should have a little Arlo poster in their house. I have an alter and it's just Arlo. And the right below Arlo is you and Francesco. Oh, hell, yeah. Our new baby. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much.

I adore you. And thank you all for watching. This is officially the end. of season one of the comment section show. I want to thank you all for joining me this season. Don't worry. We'll be back for a season two. If you want to check out new episodes of the comment section show, and by new,

I mean old, because this is the end of season one. Anyways, you can watch them on the past three bedtime YouTube channel. They drop every Wednesday, 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time for the new season, not this one. And you can also stream all the episodes on all our streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcast,

Amazon music, you name it, whatever. Go find me. Thank you all for watching. And thank you for watching. this season. I adore you all. I'll see you very soon. Bye.