The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - WWE SMACKDOWN Ft. Bob the Drag Queen | Episode 162

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

A legend returns to the show this week... Bob the Drag Queen is here!! Drew and Bob talk Traitors (obviously), Zac Efron's performance in Iron Claw, black holes, their shared obsession with pro wrestling, the time Bob got arrested with a bagel hidden in his wig, green bubble texts, impersonations, and so much more. Shop Billie in-store and at https://www.mybillie.com Bob IG: https://www.instagram.com/bobthedragqueen/?hl=en Bob Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bobthedragqueen?lang=en Follow The Comment Section on IG! https://www.instagram.com/thecommentsection/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode of the comment section is presented by Billy. Taking care of yourself is very healing. Like just a hot shower when you're feeling stressed about work or some cringe encounter can make you feel so much better. Billy gets that and it's why they make amazing products for every step of your routine. Their award-winning razor gives you a super smooth shave while their hydrating body wash and lotion helps nourish your skin. And their aluminum-free D-Os keep you smelling fresh for 24 hours.

You've got your reasons. Billy's got your routine. Shop in store and at mybilly.com. Would you want to go to a black hole? Not mine. I said, are you offering? I may be down. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode

of the comment section show starring me, your favorite, everybody knows me, cares about me. On to the guest. Today we have another all-star banger. It's the one, the only, the iconic, the legendary, Bob the drag queen.

This is my second time on the comment section It sure is queen Who's your most visited guest? My most visited? Like who's been on the pod the most? Well, I have quite a few now that I've done two They're all kind of equal across the board There's no one's done more than two

I feel like Cato's going to be the first three Right Yeah He wants me so bad Ms. Heron, he's obsessed He is, he is I have to be like, I am taken And he wants me so bad

And I am available So I'm so honored to have you back, you fucking legend. I'm happy to be back. Thank you for having me. Have you thought about turning or like using your laugh to do like voiceover work? Yes, of course I have. It's a little bit, uh, what's his name?

Luke Skywalker. Original Luke Skywalker. Dorffator? Mark Hamill. Mark Hamill. I've never heard Mark Hamill laugh. Well, it's not his laugh, but Mark Hamill played the Joker and he had a laugh that goes, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Did you ever watch the proud family? I didn't have Disney growing up Oh, because you're 100 Yeah, exactly Back when they didn't even have television Your TV had that crank on the side They had a We had a rum-bub-pub-pub-pah

You had to put gas in the TV But luckily gas was a nickel a gallon These know Nickelodeons are called that Because a Nickelodeon is a movie theater Where the movie's a nickel I did not know that That's what a Nickelodeon is Did you learn that from TikTok?

I learned it from Nickelodeon There's a character on the proud family that's a grandpa and his name is Poppy. That's what they call him. And he laughs exactly like me. That's hilarious. And I thought people were dragging it a little bit when they first started telling me. Then I looked at the clips and I said, all right, you guys got me. You locate with that one.

You got that one. You ate, you chewed you swallowed. That's me with like, are you ever, are you tired of hearing? Wait, I have a wonderful question for you. That's random because you're so unbelievably funny, obviously. Thank you. But do you ever say something about? yourself that's like clearly it's like self-deprecating joke but it's really funny and then

it kind of catches on and then you kind of get sick of hearing it because you're like that's my oh no for sure yeah I mean I can't think anything right now but yeah there are different times where I have deprecated myself in a way and I'm like all right that was for me not too much not too much I'll do that bit I'll do that one time what I was at this show oh here's a story this is a true story that happened one time it was when I was when I was one of my first ever touring gigs after being cast on drag race was before the show aired. I was a place called Our Place in Seattle, Washington.

And this guy came up to me, and he just goes, I got to tell you, Bob, I love you. I said, thank you. That's so sweet. Thank you. He goes, you know what I love about you? I said, what is it? I'm just smiling, big, shitting grin on my face. And I said, oh, he goes, for you, it's about the talent. I said, oh, thank you. He goes, you care about the artist and the performance. I said, thank you.

That's very very true. Then he goes, you don't care what you look like. What? Oh, right. Right, right. I was like, I'm sorry, what? You don't care. You don't care how you look.

I was like I feel like I put effort into my look today. Granted, this may not be the best I've ever looked. But that gagged me. You said, yeah, I'm going to have to go look in the mirror a couple more times. But you know what? Literally. You don't care what. Look at you.

You're a fucking mess with the show. My God, the show is this. Oh, but the quality, yeah. Have you done live shows yet? Yeah, I have. I've done podcast tour show live. Got it. I did like for my book tour, my sister and I have a podcast together, and that's what I took

on the road to promote my book. And I just did a show in Vancouver, actually. Nice. My first time in Canada. Was it a podcast or just straight up just you? It was our show, but it's all improv because we're a user-submitted podcast. So like we have people in the audience submit stuff live, and then we read them backstage before we come out, and then we choose like five or six of them, and then we just kind of

riff and I involved the audience to an extent. To a degree. Because I'm sure you know. And I've seen some of your clips too. Yeah, I fight. They get a little too confident. Yeah, yeah. You give them a mic, they start losing it a little bit.

But you never lose control. Never let them hold a mic. Exactly. Do you do meat greasy of your shows? Do you do me and grisier shows? Mm-hmm. By doing before. Yeah, me too.

Yeah. After's crazy. Yes. You don't care how you look. I know. For real. Do people trauma dump on you? Yes, all the time.

What's wrong? Do I have any, like, like, Do I have any fans who weren't going to kill themselves? Or all of you going to kill yourself? This is crazy. That's the one common thread they have. You're your fandom. I'm like, I don't know what's.

Well, to be honest, my fans aren't that bad. I've traveled with a couple of the queens who have that. Trixie and Katia, all their fans were going to kill themselves. All of them. Their fans are. They don't even like their fans. They're in the millions and they are persistent. Like, they pay attention to everything.

When I posted Katia, when she was on my show, that one time, like three years ago. And then she turned back into a bat and I haven't been able to catch her since. Yeah. When she was on the show, she posted a picture of us with the silliest cartoon filter on it and was like gabbing with the girls, like some shit like that. She tagged me in it. I saw it. Ten seconds later, she just posted it ten seconds later. I got tagged in like 20 Katia Trixie fan accounts. All of them going, oh my God, Katia is going on the comment section.

The comment section is featuring Drew off like literally on Twitter on Instagram on. It was crazy. This is why they don't do meat grease anymore. I'm not surprised. One of Cotius fans brought a, brought a, bought a, brought a severed foot, their own severed foot to the meat and greet. Are you lying? I'm not like, you can Google it. I saw the human teeth one.

I saw them, someone got her teeth. They, not her teeth. And they brought the foot to the meet and greet and handed it to Cotia. And did she take it? She took it. She held it. She held it up to her ear. She colored it, she cradled it.

See, that's what happens when you put Nosephratu in a wig. That's what happens. There it is. And this is why I don't fucking do, this is why they don't do me. My fans are a little more grounded. A little more grounded. They're a little less Nosephratu. Both feet on the ground.

Right. Yeah, that's. Ten toes down, my fans. Isn't that crazy? That is insane. It's too much. That's scary as fuck. Oh my God, they're showing me a picture of it.

That's fucking crazy. And she had a blast, I bet. I'm sure. That's the scariest part. It's repulsive. I'm going to go ahead and say it. I'm going to go ahead and say it. Amputated foot is repulsive.

Am I allowed to say it? And even if I'm allowed, I'm going to say it anymore. It's disgusting. That is disgusting. When I went on tour last year, like all summer, it was really fun, but like it was, tour's fucking hard and it's exhausting. And I'm finding out in my older age as I get older, I really don't like leaving my house very often as I start getting older.

Are we? one in the same. I, whenever I do anything that goes, where's the place you like to go at home? Me too. I want to go home. Me too. I'm going home. Benz McGrath.

I'm sending myself home. I love to be home more than I love to be anywhere. I don't like going to restaurants. I don't like going to clubs. I don't like going. I'll go to my friend's houses. I go to my house. I go to my studio.

Me too. Anyone I'm out, I stay at my hotel. Right. Because here's my thing. This is going to be a hot take, too. There's like three, maybe four cities in the world. There's the one with the beach, the one with the trees, the one with the buildings, and the one in the suburbs. And they just speak different languages there.

And the people are different colors. But those are all the ones. If you've been to Miami, you've been to Barcelona, they're the same. It's the same one. That's actually so real. If you've been to London, you've been to New York, you've been to Paris. They're just talking different in each town. That's very true.

And you know what's funny is when I went to London, I was like, this is New York, but cleaner. Also grayer. And gray. If possible. It's just shit weather all the time. All the time. And I remembered too when I went like we, when I vacation, like my idea of a vacation is going somewhere and doing nothing. Like if I even get that far.

It's going and laying down and maybe tanning and maybe swimming. Amazing. That's it. You know who likes to go and do stuff? Who? You like to go do things? This is what this means white people. White people.

I didn't know what you were doing. I thought, I didn't know what you were doing. White people are like, I'm going to go to vacation and you know what I'm going to do? Hike. Hike. Carry things. Take a class. Make pottery.

Learn. Go to a museum. It's a vacation, bitch. Go lay your ass down. I like to go to a place with a couple of friends rent a giant Airbnb and never leave it. Literally me. Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

For my sister's 30th birthday like two years ago, I rented this like old, it was like an old hotel, but it had like nine bedrooms. And it was like, I just rented that. And then all our friends and family came and stayed in one house. And we went out one singular night. Amazing. And the rest of the time, we played board games inside and canceled everything else we had planned.

I will go to show. I like going to shows. Yeah, I love a show. Plays, comedy shows. Love that. I like going to those things. Me too. And it's funny because when we vacationed with like other people, we've been like,

you know what? I think we should establish what kind of vacation people we are. For sure. ahead of time because the first time we went to Walt Disney World we went with my cousin Josh and his husband and we went there. Are they open? Sorry? Are they open? No, they are not. No one's perfect. You're not there yet, Josh. When I went with them, they had been there before so we were excited to be there and they're like doers. They love doing things. And the first day we were like, okay, we'll try our best to keep up like my family. And then we went through the

whole day I felt like we did a thousand things. It's too much. Yeah. And then Josh. He's in his 40s. He's 40. Okay. I'm 41.

That kind of scared. Yeah. And then when we got back, we were getting on that little fucking train that takes you back to the hotels. And we were getting on and it's like 11 p.m. almost midnight. And he's going, do you guys want to do like a rope drop tomorrow at the other thing? And we don't know what that means. So we're like, sure.

And then he goes, okay. You fucked up. Yeah. So we'll meet at like six. And then my mom goes, A.m. And he goes, yeah. And then she goes, yeah. We won't be there.

Baby, if you tell me, if we're on vacation, you're talking about 6 a.m. plans, I would rather shit in my hands and clap in front of my face with my mouth open. Then go climb ropes at 6 a.m. Also, fuck a hike. I'm not hiking. Hiking. I love that you hate hiking, so do I. I fucking hate hiking.

I don't get it. Walk places and look. I'm good. I don't get it. Google Maps is available. I'm looking at Google World View. I feel. so validated and seen by you because I've been like

I don't need to do that because like I could just look up a picture of it literally I don't need to do that and honestly guys often it looks just like it looks in the picture it might look a little you might be like oh I thought it be bigger or I thought it'd be smaller it's like a dick pick oh I thought it looked there I thought it's but that's it's it that's the one

we saw the Eiffel Tower there it is wasn't that cool when I went to Paris they're so racist there it made it almost impossible to enjoy Paris is bad. Not as bad. Let me turn right now.

There is one country that you cannot. I don't think you can pay me. You'd have to offer an absurd amount of money to give me to go. There's just one kind. Almost every black person I know is like this. In fact, the comments are already. The comments section are already, they're already typing in the name of this one specific country. I was doing the show, it's not this country, but I was doing a show in Zagreb, Croatia.

And a guy from this country said, hey, you left us off the tour. You have to come back to Italy. You will never in your, in your linguine eating life, catch me back in Italy. Honestly, I believe you. Unless I'm being paid. Unless I have to go. I went there during the Madonna tour. We did two stops in Italy.

And it was only because we literally had to. I do not like that country. I don't blame you. Monsters. Racist, racist, monsters. We had like a really, really terrible experience in Paris with a restaurant that we made reservations at mind you like when I was initially going to go to Paris it was just going to be me my fiance my cousin Adam who does my hair and makeup and then my sister we're all obviously brown

I was like going to a foreign country I've never been to before especially one like that I'm going to at least one resident white to lead the path right so then my agent Alex comes she's white and we love her and so when we get she's been to Paris before so she kind of like helps us she's right but we love her yeah but it's okay we love white but cool with it I love her and I love her in spite of that. There you go. So she made reservations at this really nice restaurant that wasn't too far from us. And we were like, oh, cool, how fun. So we like walk there. And we're like 20 minutes early to the reservation because she's white and she made us leave on time. And so that we get there on time. And then the guy at the door, first of all, there's bouncers. What fucking restaurant has

bouncers? You know what? Which one has bounced with the Bosanova on sunset. That's okay, but that kind of makes sense to me a little bit. Someone was murdered outside of the Boston Nova. Well, then that makes sense. So, yeah, yeah. Valid. And they were the kind of bouncers that, like, had, like, a fucking blazer and no tie. You know what I'm saying? Like, like, the, like, the, the, the agents from, from Lilo and Stitch.

Yeah, exactly. Like, they're, like, section guys. You know what I'm saying? And there's, like, four of them outside. And then the guy looks at the group and goes, yeah, no, we don't have any room. Mind you, I can see inside the fucking restaurant. So I can see there are tables that are open. And Alex, God love her.

She's so sweet and innocent looking that she gets pushed around pretty easily with stuff like that. Is the white woman? Yeah. So she was like, are you sure? Because I made a reservation. Like you don't even want to look it up. And then he's like, no, I'm telling you right now we don't have room. And he's speaking perfect English, mind you.

He's from New Jersey. Yeah, for real. And so then like when I went up and I go, what do you mean you're not taking reservations? Why were we allowed to make one? And he goes, I don't know what's? to tell you. And then like this group of young white women come up who are Parisian, I can hear them speaking French, smoking cigarettes, all that, come in, walk right inside.

What's in my food? Yeah. And he's like, he's like, oh, what's up ladies? Like welcome. Like as they're walking in, I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? So then I took a picture of them and like the front of it and I put it on my story and I put it on TikTok and I said, hey, fuck this restaurant by the way. My thing started picking up speed and then they started all.

All of my, that's the one time I weaponized my fame for evil. And they literally started spamming all their comments. I didn't know you guys were fucking racist. Blah, blah, blah. They blocked me. 50-50, if my zippers up or down anymore. Take my pants off at home. They come off easy.

I'm like, I thought it was four hours I was walking around. Like, Netflix is a joke presents. Nate Bar Gatsy, Big Dumb Eyes World Tour. A special live taping at Into It Dole. I think it's because I'm peeing so much longer. I watch young people come and go. I'm like, tell my family I'm okay. Nate Bargatsy, May 9th and 10, live it into a dome.

Get tickets at Netflix as a joke fest.com. The restaurant. Twice. Yeah, twice. Damn, double homicide. But I was like, it was so unpleasant and awful, and I was like, were we in the 1950s? I don't like going to restaurants.

I don't like going to do things. What's the point? No one at home is going to do that to me. No one in my home is going to do that. I can walk in. No one stop me. Hey, we don't have room for you, Darky. I can just walk right in my home

No one's going to do that to me in my home So yeah, I get it I get it I don't You know what else kind of stress to me out When my friends invite me to their show And I will buy a ticket I will buy a ticket But if you're like no

And then you're like you're on the list The list stresses me out Because if I get there And this straight security guard Has no clue I am And he's looking up my 18 names My drag name My sag name

My legal name My you know what faggot all the names on the list and he's like oh no how do you spell how you do this and I'm standing outside

and what's really embarrassing is when I don't mind like having to like get you find my name but then when someone else walks up who knows who I am and they're like oh my god Bob the drag queen

and they're like right this way you're on the list you know Craig Stevens or whatever and I'm like I'm sitting outside trying to get my fucking name because I also have three to Bob the drag queen this is four names right

so did they put Bob is their first name Bob the and the last name is drag queen is it Bob the drag last name is queen is it Bob first name the last the drag queen is it all switched together they never know I'm always lost in there

and I'm like I hate this I just want to be able to walk in and like do my thing yeah I'd rather buy the ticket I would rather just buy it it's actually not worth it I'd rather just walk in like I'll I'll pay I will fucking pay I swear I'll play back to touring when you were talking about never give them the mic in the

audience yeah it never let them in the mic yeah it's have you had any instances where you're like okay there's two there's two things that I do one is where they walk up the mic and the mic is already there. So they don't grab it. Just like, you know, talking to the microphone. And then, but sometimes I'll, I'll do this with them.

But I never let them hold the mic with that. I learned that from Wendy Williams. Never let them hold the mic. Right. Never let them hold the mic. But also, I am comfortable being like, turn off their mic. Just, I remember, turn off their mic. They're going on too long.

Turn off their mic. Cut the microphone. Cutting the microphone is such a powerful move. I agree. Because the person is just reduced to, like, what are you going to do now? Start screaming? I can scream too. And my voice is amplified.

I'm going to win this one, you know? I have a microphone and you don't. Yeah, I like to be amplified in good light with my voice being heard in the audience sitting in the shadows. I agree. I feel like there's a thing when you're, especially as a comedian or anyone on stage, the audience is really just a bunch of subs. They're just a bunch of submissive little bitches who want to be told what to do. They want to be told when to laugh. They want to know where to look.

They just, they're, audiences naturally want to be. When I'm in the audience, I want to be submissive. I don't want to be in control of the room. Right. I want to be guided through this experience. So when you're on stage, especially as a comedian, you have to be dominant. Even if it's not you in your real life, you have to be a dominant force. You have to guide the audience to this experience.

And if you don't have the control, they start to feel uncomfortable and they will rise against you. Yeah, that's true. They stage a coup in the audience. They will Andre Day rise up on you. Yeah. Then you're in Les Mis. That's the plot of Les Mis. What a good musical.

I love that musical. My God. When I was on tour last year, like it, we started noticing this pattern where like shows that are, which I'm sure you know too, like, Friday, Saturdays, like, people are getting fucked up. So they're, like, excited and then they're a little more rowdy on those nights because they don't have to worry about work the next morning. And so, like, the first show we had where we kind of had a little bit of, like, too much raucous laughter that was turning into talking was in Florida, right?

Like, our first Florida show. And so the show's going great, but then there's, like, two huge bars in the venue were in. And so you can hear. the bartender's going, shh, like scooping ice and going, yeah, can I get too dirty martini?

Like, you can hear people doing that shit. A blending drink. Blending a margarita and all that. It was funny because in the beginning, I would ask a question. I don't even remember what it was. The joke I would make is like,

thank you all for coming out. And is there any plus ones in the audience? I would always say plus ones. Like, have no idea what fuck we are. I should have known this was a red herring because the bartender goes, right here. Like, loud and I go,

You work here, right? And he goes, yeah, I go, yeah, I wasn't talking to you. Anyone else who's actually bought a ticket for the fucking show. I should have known that that was going to go left. I'm like, give me a fucking drink. What the fuck are you doing? Aren't she supposed to be serving those hundreds of people over there? So then as the show goes on, people start getting more drunk.

Like, when we do audience participation, like, we'll read the cards, read their stories. And then we kind of like make fun of them. I'll ask them questions and then they'll answer them, whatever. As like my sister is, like, talking to one of the audience members about her story. there's people in the fucking back who are talking, laughing, like, contributing to the story, like trying to get bits out, like whatever. And it's becoming distracting along with the bartenders. And I apologize for that.

And I want to apologize for that. I'll take this moment to apologize. Me and my buddy, the bartender, we were having a long night. And I remember at this point, I was at my limit already because I was already annoyed that the talking was happening and it was slowly getting louder. Then it was so unbearable. It was making people forget what they were saying. It was interrupting my sister.

And I got pissed. So then I go, can you pause really quick? Who the fuck is talking? And that's exactly how I said it, right? That part's on me. I take that. I take that. I said that and I go, can you guys shut the fuck up?

Because other people are talking and you're being really fucking rude. And other people paid to be here. So let's all like be conscious of that. Yeah. And I said, sorry, go ahead. Right. When I tell you I lost that room so fast. Yeah.

Yeah. And then it took me a while to get them to come back. You've lost control. Yeah, well, and then I did that. And then I scared them. So then no one's laughing anymore because they're all like. And then I'm like, hey, that part's on me. I freaked out, but that part's on me.

You have that prepared bits on how to deal with an audience member. Yeah. And for the most part, you know, I've been doing stand up now for 16 years. And for like eight years of it, it was in the gay bars, which is just loud, rowdy, drunk. Everyone in the audience, I think they're funnier than you, better than you. than you could wear your dress better than you. And I'm like, I mean, I was used to dealing with really raucous, raucous people.

They were just wanting to argue, wanting to challenge me. So I've built some really good chops for, for, I love that. But for the most part, my audience is I've gotten pretty good at keep of control. And also when you like scold your subs, when the doms, you know, skulls her subs, you have to do it in a way that is in the, in the spirit of the show. So it still has to be fun. It still has to be funny. Or else they're like, oh, my God, you know.

Mommy just yelled at us. Exactly. And we're in trouble now. And I learned that lesson the hard way. Lost the room. My bad. Then I had to earn their trust back. Like I was like, guys, don't be afraid of me.

It's okay. You can laugh. And like, I eventually won the room back again. Stop flinching. Yeah. I was like, don't run for me. It's fine. And I eventually.

Everyone have fun. We're all having fun, right? We're all having fun. And the next day, like, we had another Florida show in a different city. And then it was same shit happening again. this time I held it handled it a lot better didn't lose the room I did have to quell that really quickly but I did it before I got to a point where I couldn't control my anger sometimes it feels like a werewolf you know what I mean like I'm like there's a she wolf in the closet and then I feel

like I'm like run before I like turn into a psycho no I understand that for sure I got pretty good at keeping it pretty even killed and I think that the audience should have a healthy fear of the personal I agree they should be a little bit afraid of what would happen if they up out of line. Yeah, there's got to be. Sometimes you do have to make an example of someone. Yeah. And I've done that.

I did that too many times on tour, but that is also another one of those. Like, because I did get a question once. I think it was from a man. And he asked me something. Right. That felt like he was kind of trying to big time me a little bit. What is big timing me? Kind of like he was trying to flex or peacock around me.

Right. Like he was trying to be like, so like, yeah, what's that about? And then I go. What do you mean? Like, are you asking me, like, why do I do that to people like you? I don't know. Did you hear what you just fucking asked me? That's probably why.

And then everyone laughs. He goes, no, no, for sure. I just, like, I meant, like, actually, I met. And he just changed his question. This is like a guy who asked for extra protein at Chipotle. Right. You know, like, can I get a, let me get the, uh, can I get extra protein? Cool, cool, cool, cool.

Like very much that vibe. Very, very much that vibe. My craziest show recently was in Belfast. Ooh, too. And, uh, this one had nothing to do with me. It was just during the show. And then first of all, I had a wardrobe out function. My wig just kind of started like, like there's just like post on my wig.

And I put the toppers on it. I have like base where my hair slipped up. And I would just switch the toppers out. And the post had broken. So my wig just fell off. I was like, oh shit, my wig fell off. So that was very embarrassing. I have to put my wig back on.

And then I come back and I'm doing my standup. And there is just a fight happening. And I was like, I was remember what's happening up there. But they weren't responding to me because they weren't responding to what I was saying. And there was just an argument had broken out between this lady and this guy. And they had come to like blows. They were like, they were like people were being pulled apart. Damn.

And then the lady stumbled out into the lobby. She spilled her margarita into my merchandise. And then the crowd just kind of got crazy. I was like, you guys are insane. And then I asked him, I said, is this, it was a Wednesday. I said, is this a typical Wednesday in Belfast in the audience in unison? And I said, yes. They're like, yeah, this is what we do on Wednesdays, bitch.

Yes, yes. Whenever I go out, I don't drink, so I don't go out much. But I'm with someone who drinks, though, though, someone who wants to take you out and they're like, because let me tell you right now, it doesn't matter where you are, though, I was go. Because, baby, let me tell you right now. In Belfast, we drink, honey. Baby, let me tell you right now.

In Phoenix, Arizona, we drink, honey. Baby, in Indelushia, Alabama, in Bootscoup, Tennessee, we drink, honey. Every town thinks they drink more than everyone else. Right. But Belfast is, they're telling the truth. They're for real. They were dead ass.

You said I can say with conviction. They were on a Wednesday night, turnt going crazy. I think, we have to get out of here. This show is inside. I was genuinely afraid of the audience. I was like, I need to get out of them. I'm afraid of you all. I started getting, like, towards the end of tour, I started getting a little petty

because, like, if the shows, they would always go well, but like if the audience was kind of, like, a little too rowdy, like, there was another show we had where it was a Friday. and we had security, had to warn them, like, literally tell them, like, if you guys make noise one more time, you're going to have to leave. Yeah. And it's because they had, like, a tabletop and they were like, I think what I hate more than just, like, talking in the background,

because it's a live fucking show is people trying to tell jokes, too. Oh, they want to contribute. Yeah, like, they're trying to, like, pull focus. It's a big break. And I was like, that's tea because you bought a ticket to watch me, and now you're talking a lot, and that's crazy. Well, they think it's a scene from me, like, this is going to be the moment where, like, Drew hears me tell us.

joke is she's going to say are you iconic? Drew's going to invite me on stage. We're going to hold hands. We're going to sing defying gravity together. I will float to the sky and I will take over the podcast. That's what they think is going to happen. They're like, this is my moment. This is truly my moment.

I think that too. And can I just say, because maybe you can relate to me on this, there was a point where like with meet and greets where there was a pattern happening where women who would come who maybe. maybe weren't familiar with my other show with my sister or my sister only came to see me, which I'm not like mad about it, but like they were always really rude to my sister in mean greets, which would piss me off. And then they were always dressed up really nice, like, which is not a bad thing, but they were wearing like, like, like, fucking bandaged dresses or some

shit like that in heels and all that. And I'm like, okay, period, whatever. And the way they would talk to me would be like, I just like, oh, God, you're so beautiful. I just like, I'm straight, but like, I just like, I don't know. I just feel like if I was going to be gay, like I would like you, which is homophobic to say, but they don't care about that. And they're telling me all this. And I, they're trying to hit on you, I think. Okay, but like they're straight women.

Sometimes they'd bring their husbands, their boyfriends, whatever. Maybe you've been invited to three films. At one time, well, yeah, but one time I went backstage and I go, are these bitches shaving their pussy for me? Because you're starting to treat me like Justin Bieber and I don't like that. Oh, they probably are. They're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Just in case.

Yeah, I was like, hey, hey, hey, you know what? knock it off. Just in case you see my lips tonight, I want them to be clean. Which like, it's always women who, who have to tell me 35 times, I'm straight, I'm straight. I'm totally straight. But like, if I wasn't, they're not straight. Bitch, I'm straight too. Why are you telling me this?

You know what it is? They, you have a lesbian energy and I think part of it is how tall you are. Yeah, absolutely. And they, like, big lesbians clean up. That's true. Baby. I'm going to tell right now. I know there's three right here currently.

Big, big lesbians clean the fuck up. Y'all are all lesbians? Yeah. And big lesbians clean up, right? They're swimming. Talls half the battle. Maybe they're swimming in pus. That's true.

It's crazy. If a woman can get over six feet and you're in the lesbian community, you're about to, you're about to be knocking away with a baseball bat. And like women who came, who were lesbians and made sure to tell us, like, they were fans of both of us in the show that we had together. And like, or they were hitting on my. sister. It was like one of those two. It's only straight women who are doing that to me, which is crazy. They want to be roughed up by a big lady. Yeah. I was like, you guys are, it's so, I'm like,

don't, don't hold, put your hand across my stomach, like for prom dates. Have you ever thought about roughing up anyone, like sexually? Ruffing them up like, like as a dom. Yeah. I've been asked that question more times than you could possibly imagine, but no, I haven't. Not personally. Never thought about it? No, because that doesn't really appeal to me if I'm being honest. valid and fair. Yeah. Like when I, and also,

and this is maybe just the sick and twisted part of my brain, that brings them joy and pleasure. I'm trying to do the opposite of that. Valid and fair. You're a masochist, or a sadist,

I mean, you're a sadist. But to some extent, they enjoy it, like sadism. Like people who, no, no, massacists enjoy it.

Yeah, they love it. I'm saying like, I want to hurt your feelings. I don't want to make you come. I want to hurt your feelings. I've roughed up some people. When I,

when I'm, when I'm, when I'm a gigantic lady. I mean, Uh, people like to be roughed up by a big lady. They really, they really like it. Honestly, I'm happy to oblige. Did you ever watch that?

What was the name of that bodybuilding documentary with the, the lady who was like, Yeah, it was something Sally. Like, is she the one who like, she was a bodybuilder? She was a kid. She killed her husband. That's what it was. Yeah. But she got big.

Well, she got big because she was making videos of her, like, wrestling dudes. And, like, dudes were getting off on it. So that's like, it was like only fans before only fans. Yeah, Nicole Bass used to do it too. Yeah, and she was making videos of herself wrestling the fuck out of the... And obviously she's jacked. Like, she's yoked and on a bunch of broids and all that. So she's, like, literally looks like an old-timey, like...

Trapp queen. Gold's gym type. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so she was, like, wrestling dudes for money. And she was making... She was cleaning up. Like, she was making so much fun. Oh, it makes sense.

Yeah, I think that's what's happening. These women are projecting their sexual fantasies onto you. I agree. That is also the reason I stopped doing cameo, because I started getting requests like that. From ladies again? Not from men that are saying like, can you call me a dirty little boy and like say I'm worthless and blah, blah, blah,

and like pretend to spit on me, some shit like that. I'll never forget that's the last one I got. For $30? No, that's crazy. Yeah, no, you're for 30. I'm not even kidding. When I read that request, I went in my cameo, turned it off. I haven't turned it on since.

For $5,000 an hour with a five hour minimum. And I'm only doing the first two hours. And it's on Zoom. And it's on Zoom. And my camera's going to be off. I'm fully eating Taco Bell in bed. You're like, yeah, you're such a dumb little fucking wood. I have mac and cheese and I'm just going like this.

You're the worst little boy ever. Talk about this new burrito that you can rip in half. Oh, okay. Like it's perforated? I'm going to say this. Yeah, low key. I'm going to go ahead and say it's clear to me. Taco Bell is just reselling the same thing over and over again.

And can I say I'm going to try it? Every single time. Every thing at Taco Bell tastes the same. It's like the do-a-leap of food. Truly. Same song, I'm going to blast it. But because that thing tastes good, I'm going to keep eating it. It's so good.

I just, they really think or something out of that. They have. They have. And you know what? I hate when people are like, well, that's not real Mexican food. I know that. We know. Bitch, we've been new.

Yeah, I know. I know that 16-year-old white kid on Accutane is not serving the traditional Cantina food. I know that. Maybe Mexicans like Mexican, like Taco Bell. Mexicans like Taco Bell, so I don't feel bad about it. I'm eating Taco Bell. I know it's not traditional cuisine. That's not why I'm going there. This is a great video of, uh, of, it's one of those like, what's the one they used to make

the list. Oh, BuzzFeed. Busfeet. It's like BuzzFeed. Sometimes one of those like BuzzFat videos and it's like Chinese people trying Pandexpress. I've seen that video. Mexicans trying Taco Bell. Well, so interesting was all the young people like 25 and And I were like, oh, this is not authentic Chinese food. This is disgusting.

I literally can't even chew this. All the old people were like, it's not Chinese food. This is delicious. They're like, this is amazing. We can allow, we can allow two things to be true at the same time. They were like, I don't know what the fuck this is, but this is really fucking good. They're like, this is not Chinese, but it is delicious. Same.

We talk about all the young mix was like, I could never eat this. This is so crazy. You need to try my, you need to try my grandmas. Like, blah, blah. And the grandma was like, this is amazing. This is fantastic. Yeah, they're like, I don't know what this is, but it's good. But I'm going to have a nachabelle Gronde's next time I come back.

I know that much. And I also know that you hate British food like I do. I hate it. Yeah, me too. It's horrible. Did you see that they were trying to fuck up Keith Lee recently? Yeah, Keith Lee, I think he might be untouchable. I think so too.

Like he should be. He's not bothering anyone. He always comes out smelling like roses, no matter how much shit you throw at him. He is a, he seems to rise above it every single fucking time. And he's not bothering anyone. So I don't know why people, well, I do. you know why because it's the nature of the internet but like i just think you should leave him the fuck alone but also i saw people getting pissed and then i jumped in on it because i was like

i can't even tell you how many british people were mad at me when i was like making fun of their food when i went to london last year the homemade bricle bruckle bruckle you girl the way they're like well you got to have you got to have salty mashy peas on the side yeah i'll kill you it's bad it's bad and i was like i didn't say i need a different kind of piece i said if you put them next to my french fries one more goddamn time i'm going to burn this country to the ground there's peas in everything and why everything has peas in it or next to it and you're not going to sell me on beans on toast i'm not eating it i don't want to eat it i don't want to put beans on my and then you get there and i always go well you know we have really amazing indian food here well baby that's

indian food i know i had it and it was delicious baby that's made by indians and it's not british i could tell you that much that's made by indians and immigrants came here and made this food. Yeah, and I think, yeah, yeah. They get so mad when you don't like their food. They get really mad. And I started getting ones that were like, well, that's because you fucking Americans

are so pumped full of preservatives. And I was like, and maybe you guys need some of that shit. We are. And it's delicious. You're right. When I bought a bag of Doritos from America, and I gave them to a britt that were like, oh my God, have I been eating Tostitos this whole time?

This is amazing. Yes, American food is full of preserves. 100% it's delicious You're right And it's good Like that's what I was like Maybe you guys need some of that shit And I'm like what about your

How long you guys live? Do you need to live that long? Sometimes I think to myself like How long do you want to do this? Right I know I feel like Immortality is a curse More than anything

One of the biggest reason Why I got out of being religious Is because like the idea of eternal life That's a curse I agree I have to do some version of this for all Like let's imagine Let's imagine that I die and I go to heaven.

And I'm looking down at my nephew and if I have kids. That's interesting. I'm looking at my kids and my nephew. I'm watching over them. Okay. They have kids. My grandkids, that's kind of interesting. Okay.

They're kids. I don't know these niggas. I don't want to watch. We're on season three. I don't want to watch anymore. It's just kind of the same stuff over and over again. You've gone off the rails. I don't want to watch you all.

I know my my grandma's watching down to me Leave that woman alone What her rest Hasn't she done enough in her life Not she's watching you It sounds horrible I want to rest I want to be done

I want to just I want the you know where the TV I want that Do you want to be reincarnated at all? No As anything You think the earth's getting better Maybe go into another universe

Maybe Yeah another universe would be cool You know I've thought about before it really kind of scares me. What if? And this is a crazy if. There's a couple of theories out there about other life form out there in the universe. And most scientists agree there is more than likely some life form somewhere in the world. Yeah, there has to be.

You know what the scariest notion is, though? What? What if we are the most advanced? There are no spaceships. No one's there yet. That's a bummer. This is as far as civilization has gotten. Doesn't that stink?

Yeah, that bums me out. Right? There's other words like One that I like more is like they are so advanced. They're looking at us like they were ants basically. Why would you bother calling advanced? Like I'm not going to fuck with them. They're disgusting.

Like that's more comforting than being like this might be as far as humanity's gotten. I agree with you on that. That is very real. I think it would be extra scary to think that this is as far as we've taken it. And there's also another theory too that some other planets and some other place, even if they're in the same galaxy or if they're in, you know, galaxies nearby. is just that their time and life was so long ago. The planet's just nothing now.

There's nothing even left on the planet. It's all just gone. They maybe had a whole thriving civilization for like billions of years. And then there was like an 80 billion year gap. Everything is disintegrated. And then ours started. So it's just so long. And also, you know, the space is crazy.

Space can make your head spin. Because you don't think the way other day, the sky. Where's the sky? It's up there. But also, the sky is over there. Have you thought about that? and the sky is down there because people in the bottom of the earth,

they're pointing in the opposite direction and they're also pointing at the sky. The sky is there, it's there, it's up there, it's over there. That is crazy to me. Yeah, thinking about infinite things like that that could like just loops that could never really stop like that,

it freaks me out when I think about it too much, especially if I'm high. Would you want to go through a black hole? Not mine. I said, are you offering? I may be down. I don't know. It depends on what's on the other side, I guess.

We don't know. So apparently when you go into a black hole, there's something called the event horizon where you go beyond the point of the return. Like once you reach the event horizon? Oh, is that an interstellar? Is that kind of what happens in interstellar when he like has to go into the black hole?

I've never seen interstellar. But basically. I've only seen parts of it. So the event horizon, once you reach the event horizon, you cannot go back because the black hole is just pulling in matter. Right.

It's pulling in everything. It's pulling in light. Nothing can escape the black hole, right? And if your body goes into, you go into something called spaghettification, where your body is being pulled apart, like strings, basically. And then it gets to a point where you are in the black hole and you are frozen. Time is being perceived completely differently for you because there's so much mass and matter in the black hole. So people are looking from the outside, it will look like you are completely frozen. But for you, time is moving completely slowly.

You go through the black hole. If you go through the middle part, you'll end up on the other side, which is a white hole. and on the other side there's allegedly an entire other universe on the other side. Well, then that sounds kind of fun. A little bit. If you can survive it, if you can survive it, that would be fucking awesome. I agree. What's over there?

I'm trying to see. And I hate that I'm never going to know. It drives me crazy that I'm never going to know what's over there. How do you know? How on Google? How close to the nearest black hole will never reach it? We will never reach it. That drives me crazy.

I used to spend hours as a child trying to figure out. This is so crazy. Trying to figure out how to travel at the speed of light. I have this theory. If you can make a matter that's lighter than light, then the light can propel this thing into space and time. But then you have to put your body in it. How do you make your body lighter than light itself?

Because I think light does actually weigh something. So the light can actually move the object and push it through space and time, but light weighs practically nothing. How far is it near Spikeau? I don't even know what a fucking earth. Oh, the year, a calendar year, I think, yeah. So how many is that again? That's so upsetting.

That's so upsetting. I can't think about it too long. I'll go crazy. Yeah, your whole explanation of traveling faster than the speed of light, you thinking about that as a child is kind of shocking to me. I mean, if you knew me as a kid, it's very. Do you love space? I love space.

I love that. of the world I would have been some sort of a, you know, scientist who dealt with space. But instead you're a bitch in a wig. Instead, I'm just a bitch with a lot of opinions who wears a wig and lets a scream. No, but I love that you have such a love of space. I find space so fascinating too. It's so interesting. Especially about how small and insignificant Earth is even in our own solar system.

Yeah, because I feel like when you think about space in that regard and you think about how insignificant so many things are, there's a freedom in that. And there is actually. Because it's like, and I feel like you live your life like that. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I feel like you live your life that way and that's why you've been so successful and inspirational. I'll think that. Because you live your life that way. Like as if it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme.

So I'm going to do what I love and what makes me happy. I remember standing in Manhattan and feeling so small because Manhattan felt so big. Yeah. And then to realize Manhattan's really small. Manhattan's about 14 miles north to south and about five miles east to west. Right. That's it. And then I realized that Manhattan can fit into Long Island like over 50 times.

I think it might be even closer like Manhattan is so tiny. And then earth can fit into the sun like a thousand times over. And then there's sons that are like, we are so tiny and so insignificant. And we, that's why when I used to wait tables and I would get in the weeds and I forgot to put someone's food, you ever been a waiter? Yeah. And you're one of the worst jobs I've ever had. When you forget to put someone's food in, the panic that says into your, the panic that goes in your hide, I didn't put their food in. I didn't put their fucking food in.

And then I remember thinking to myself, no one, I used to work in a place called the Jekylland High Club. It was a theme of restaurants, a haunted restaurant. And I remember thinking to myself, you know what? No one here is starving. No one's like, I am literally on the verge of death. Jekylln High Club. Gats to go to the Jekylln High Club. And I bet, and that way or better not have forgotten to put my food in.

So now I thought to myself, no one here's starving. No one here's dying. It doesn't matter. I forgot your food. It'll be fine. beautiful thing. It'll be fine. I wish, I feel like that's the absence of anxiety. I don't know if you have any. But then I get a little too nihilistic sometimes. Right. Nothing matters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is a balance too. Yeah. I can do anything I want. And I'm like, whoa, whoa,

reel it back, man. Real it back. Real it back. Real it in. Little too much freedom. Yeah, a little much. Do you love to any other niche interests like that, like space? I've always been a big fan of wrestling. I grew up watching WWF so long ago that it was called the WWF. And I was from space to the WWE. Oh my God. I can't believe that my mom didn't believe that they said I was autistic. My mom was like, not my baby.

They're over diagnosing. They're like, now your son. Meanwhile, you're calculating the weight of light in your room so you can try and run faster than the speed of light. Literally. And you have a fucking WWE championship belt on. I wanted one would not buy me the belt.

I had to make one myself. I made one myself out of tinfoil and cardboard. I wanted to be mankind or the rock or Delo Brown or Farooke or The Undertaker. So I wanted it more than I wanted my next breath. So when I was a kid, I thought that my job was going to be, I was going to go to either be an announcer or a manager for the WWF. Have you ever tried to do anything with the WWE?

Well, Nikki Garcia, who is on my season of the Traders. She's getting back into wrestling and she did WrestleMania. And I was like, I should be her manager. I should be her fucking manager. You should go and do like an announcing thing. They have people do stuff all the time for them. I need to do it. If anyone's watch out there, Nikki Garcia,

I'm literally binging myself because nothing matters. I can be humble now. There you go. I'm humbling myself. Just for it. Give me one week. You know what's funny is a lot of someone people like love WWE. Yeah.

Like we, my dad has been a WWE fan forever. I don't know what it is about that. I think we just, I think someone people find joy in it because you get to hurt people and it's funny. Probably. It's also Broadway. Yeah. It's literally Broadway.

It's some of the most remarkable storytelling in the history of time. Here's why. It is a play or a TV show that happens in real time. So when you watch, I don't know, severance, once the episode ends, next week the episode airs, and it's only been five minutes for them. Yeah. But it's been a week for you.

When you are on wrestling, when the show, if it is airing, a week for you is a week for The Undertaker. He lived a whole week. You are living your lives in real time with these fictional characters at the same time. It's really, and it's just, it's so fantastical, it's so over the top. There's magic. It's drag, honestly.

And a lot of Samo's are big in wrestling. Yeah, they are. Huge in wrestling. They're huge in wrestling. The Uso's, Rakishi. Yeah. Oh my God. The way I love Rakishi so much as a child.

He was, he follows me on Instagram. Shout out. Oh! Love him. And I had to explain to some of my other friends. I had to explain my friend about his. his signature move when he like puts his big fat ass on people. And then rubs in your face.

And then rubs. Yeah. Or he jumps from the top rope and sit. And he crushes you. Uh. Love it. That's a Sam joke through and through. Like it's like what if I just slam my big fat ass on them?

His name is Sam? No, a Sam is like someone. Oh, got it. I honestly don't know Rikishi's. I was like Rikishi's name is Sam. I actually don't know Rikish. I'm named Carl. I will say Roman Rains.

I've been trying to get on my show for a while. Been trying to get him. Roman Rains had a really rough goal, I think. He did. If I'm being honest, like my fiance gets compared to Jason Mamoa a lot, but I think he looks so much like Roman Raines. Like they look almost identical compared to Jason Mamoa. But like now when I see him, I'm like a little weird.

What happened? Jason Mamo is just so much more famous. Yeah. And then my fiance had the blonde in his hair for a little bit. So I think that kind of threw people off. But I was like Roman Rains is like a ledge. I've met John Sina. Have you ever met John Sina?

I never met John Sina. But I met his ex-girlfriend, Nikki Garcia. That's right. Yeah. So I like John Sina I interviewed at the Argyll. premiere that was like in London. That was when I went to London for the first time. And one of my fun questions I cleared through Universal and they were cool with, which I was

glad. I was like each of the characters I talked to, I asked like if one of the characters they're known for could beat Argyll in like hand-to-hand fight. Yeah. Who would win? So I said, WWE John Sina and Argo like, who do you think's winning? And he's like, well, Argyle has all those fucking tools. And then I was like, no, hand-to-hand.

Like, you're John Sina. Well, if Argyll can't see him. Yeah, that's why I said. I said, what do you mean? I could barely see you when you first walked up. And he literally was like, no tools at all. And I go, no, he goes, the invisible man, John Cena. You can't see him.

Yeah, you can't see him. You can't see me. It's so, listen. It's so fun. I love wrestling. I just love it. It's just, I can go on for days about this. Did you watch Iron Claw?

I did. Did you like it? I didn't. Why? I got to say, there are so many remarkable stories you can tell of wrestlers. And why that one? No shame. Because it's tragic, I think.

I mean, it's like everyone's died. My brother died. My other brother died. And it's, it is sad. I want to say it is very, very sad. You could tell China's story. You could tell McFoly's story. Or even Rick Flair.

Rick Flair. You know how crazy Mick Folli's story is? Do you know how crazy these stories are? They are. There are. There's so many W.D.W.E. people have the craziest lore. Like Trish Stratis. Yes.

Camp. I love it. It's so good. It's so dramatic. And the only reason I brought up Ironball. Cable? Yeah. Oh yeah.

Was because of Rick Flair because one of my favorite scenes in that movie is when, you know, they take the shit so seriously, the brothers. And then Rick Flair comes in and he's like, oh, man, that was fucking awesome. Yeah. And then he's like, you and me, a beer. And I was thinking, it's just never that serious to him. He's just there for a good time. I love that.

Yeah. I want to see Rick Flair's story. Yeah. When Rick Flair came in for just a moment. Okay. So, Realty is, I famously. called Zach Ephron, I mean, Zach Ephron a bad actor on TV. I did.

I was with his brother on the traitors and he goes, I grew up with an actor. And then on a, I just said, not a good one. I just threw that out there. I didn't really have any strong. He told Zach Efron's acting. You're all, I called him that on TV to his brother. Yeah. So I was like, not a good one.

And then the Lord, DeLore's like, oh, that's not nice. I was like, I know that's why I said it. So I have this whole thing? And then everyone's taking me like, have you seen Iron Claw? Have you seen Iron Claw? Have you seen Iron Claw? Have you seen Ironclaw? And to be clear, I don't think Zach Ephron was bad at Ironclaw.

No, no, no. I just didn't think it was a good movie. As a lover of the WWF, you would prefer to see another story. I want to see Mick Foley's story. That's cool. Mick Foley has such an interesting story. Love that. What an interesting journey.

Mick Foley used to film himself doing these crazy hardcore stunts. The Lincoln Spring Sales Event is on now, and there's never been a better time to experience the feeling of driving Lincoln. Pictures, sunlight through the available panoramic vista roof, music, weather, and maps on the 48-inch panoramic display, and it drives so smooth that inspiration rides up front. Stepping out better than you got in. That's the Lincoln feeling. Get behind the wheel of the 26 Lincoln Nautilus SUV

and discover exceptional offers only at your local Lincoln retailer. And that's how he got on. He would, like, jump off his roof onto tables and break them and be like, cast me in the WWF. And they got so famous that they had to start sitting down by me like, hey guys, do not film yourself. Jumping off of your roof. Do not set yourself on fire.

Do not jump on barbed wire. We will not cast you. We will not cast you. We did that one time. McFolle did a good job. We're done with that. That goes close, all right? Also, Loki bring back still chairs.

Is that a bad take? I don't think so. Bring back still chairs. It's all stage fighting at the end of the day. I mean, there is a lot of injury. There is real fighting. Yeah. I'm saying like they're like stuntmen.

Yeah, they are stuntman, yeah, which is the same energy you can get as a stuntman. Right. But also, stuntmen don't work like three, two shows a week for 20 years. I've seen someone called WWE Broadway for stupid people, which like... I'll take it. It's kind of funny. I'll take it. In terms of like costumes, character, pageantry, like all of that.

I love how they stay in character even when they do... Other interviews. Yeah, like press before and after. It's so good. I love it. They keep this fake beef alive. And sometimes it's real, sometimes it's not. Well, sometimes they have to push it.

So Jerry Lawler famously slapped, what's the comedian? He did the, Jim Carrey played him in the film, Man on the Moon, Man in the Moon, Andy Kaufman. So Jerry Lawler slapped the shit out of Andy Kaufman on live TV. Damn. Because Andy Kaufman kept being like, it's fake. And Andy Kauf might have been in it, but he slapped the. And it was for real a slap? Oh, he slapped the taste out of his mouth.

Damn. slap this man on live TV on a late night show because he kept calling it fake and then Jerry Lala goes oh you want to see how fake it is and he just he slapped him there's another another guy one time who choked out some interview they really don't like me call it fake they don't they don't care anymore

back in there they really protected that it was that was staged they really protected how fake it was and one guy was like oh you you want to see how hard it is and then he was like he was like yeah put me in a choke hold choked him out on live TV the dedication. It's crazy. String men are so

insane. They're imprisoned by their own toxic medicine. It's insane. And I watched it, baited breath and cooked. And I was eating it up. Oh, and they're also wearing these like slutty little outfits.

Right. So slutty. Tits out. Sweaty. The men. I know. I'm talking about the men. Yeah, thank you.

I'm glad we're going to say page 14. Yeah. So slutty. Oh, I got my rocks. Off. I'm not going to lot of you. I got my rocks. Off, baby.

Ooh. Oh, I can talk about wrestling all day. I love it. And there's a duo in the WWF still now that's called the Usos, which are like, they're two brothers. And Uso means brother and someone. And they're just two someone, but they're just like two little cannonballs. Like they just attack together and shit.

And I'm like, I know so much about WWE solely because like my culture just really loves that. They just have really latched on. Yeah, it's true. and I'm like, whatever, whatever works for you guys. I don't care. It's great. I'm going to get my win to the WWE at some point. Nikki Garcia.

What would your name be? Oh, my God. I haven't even get it. I couldn't be a wrestler because you've met wrestlers. You've met wrestlers. Yeah. Y'all, when I tell you, these are the largest people you've ever seen your life. No, they're jacked for real.

Like, it's all very real. Should to the shoulder, up down, hip to hip, front. These are massive. You've never met people this big in your life. Yeah, like me and John Sino were around the same. height, like he was a little bit taller than me, but he was big. Like, he was big dude. Like, he's like, humongous.

I don't, I, there was the tiniest wrestler was this guy named Xbox. He was so tiny. Six foot two, two, two, 20 pounds. They used to throw this man around the, I mean, Ray Mysterio was pretty small as well. Yeah. Christian was one of the small guys. Can you Google how tall Christian, the wrestler? I love making people Google things.

I love having on-site Googlers. Oh, I love, I Googleding most of all time. Six one. That's crazy. He was one of the tiny ones. He was a little man. Even the women are really tall, too. A lot of them are tall too.

Which I think I got to see you there. I need you to be an announcer. I think my goal right now is to be a manager because I want to do the shit talking in the camera. That's so fun. I want to walk my restaurant to the stage. I want to shit talk for them. I want to big up them. I want them to throw someone out of the ring and I want to get a cheap shot in,

throwing a little uppercut. You can body slam me. I can take a hit. Body slam me on something, honey. I'm going to manifest that for you. Please do. I would love to manifest that. I'd just come to one of my games.

I'm so gay. We come to my play rehearsal. My audition? Yeah, my audition. If I get it, I really want you at one of the matches. I would love to come. Yeah. Like, I would love to go in general, but especially if you're there.

I want to win a wrestling match in real life. I went in Macon, Georgia. And I remember Kevin Nash standing near me. And Rakishi was there. Rikishi was there. And I remember thinking, I remember Kevin Nash can. kind of like walked near me and I was like I was looking vertically and I think I think of myself like this might be the largest man I've ever seen in my life and I saw Hulk Hogan

boo I saw Hulk Hogan in a boo sorry I can't say his name without saying that in a Delta skyline once these men have ruined their bodies he's crooked he's built like a fucking he's drawn like a tim Burton character he's like sliding leaning over he's got like a very serious I could have whoop his fucking ass right there by the fucking Peter Chips. As you should. And I should have. As you fucking should have.

We should just go to a match together. Oh. Let's just go and watch. Don't tip me. I want to go. We'll cheer and we'll. They probably do them in the Kia Forum or something. I bet.

But I haven't watched wrestling in so long that I don't know like all the new people. Yeah. No, we got to go to like an OG one like with all people that you recognize. I'm going to be cheering when the Undertaker comes. I'm going to be the old man like Undertaker tombstone. Back in my day. Yeah. You're that's all gold starter.

Oh my God. Well, speaking of dreams or goals. Right, because that's a goal for you. Mm-hmm. Today, we have a new segment sponsored by Netflix. Thank you, Netflix. There's a new Netflix movie coming out. I have an idea for a subscription service.

Oh, okay. You give me 50 bucks a month, and at some point, I just pop out, I don't know where we're going to be at, I tap me in the nuts. It's called Netflix. I'm sorry. Tap it or you punch it. No, like a tap is, a tap can really debilip. do more than enough just the it delivers the message yeah they can really that should be one that

people subscribe to subscribe other people they dislike to there it is that's why they're like I need you to send a Netflix to this person I want to send one to Hulk Hogan oh my sorry go ahead so you're saying Netflix so there's a new Netflix movie coming out soon called the lifeless and it's about a young woman who is sent on a quest by her late mother to complete her teenage life list which is like a bucket list like her mom like is it something her mom said before she died or yeah I think so. So in the spirit of the life list, we're going to talk about our own bucket list. And I want to know what you used to have on your bucket list that you've already checked off

and what you still want to accomplish that you haven't crossed out yet. Obviously, we know WWE is on there. Yes. A stand-up comedy special. I've had two already. Love. Winning Rapal's Drag Race, done that. What I'm working toward is I want to, I have a book coming out on March 25th.

It's called Harrod Tubman Live in Concert. I would love to join the ranks of you and become a New York Times bestseller. I love that. That would be really, really exciting for me. I'm so proud of this book. It is one of the best things I've ever written in my life. Writing prose is so much different than writing jokes and poems and raps. It took me, I don't know how long it took you to write your book, but it took me an embarrassingly long time.

I don't want you to go first because I don't want to end up. I think I wrote the whole thing and probably like, I would say like a year. Four years. That's not bad It took me four years To write like 240 pages That is a page like every 10 days That sounds like to me

That sounds like you care a lot about it So you're taking time I did And also I filmed three seasons Of a TV show I toured with Madonna Oh see I didn't do any of that I recorded a stand-up comedy

Special by one of the traders I did a lot that time Yeah you sure did queen So that's why I said Yeah I didn't do any of that shit When I was writing mine So that makes a lot more sense Yeah

Because you're a lot more famous and busy than me But you're not better than me Just different than you Just different Different stage of life Because you're so much older I am a little bit

Not much We can clear that up I'm 43 to be exactly I'm 43 to be exact Yeah exactly So I love that I think those are all wonderful And also wow what a list you've already crossed off

That's fucking awesome And some stuff that I never Ever thought To do a world tour with the queen of pop It's crazy It wasn't even on the list. I wasn't even on the list. I was like, oh, wow, the list is updating itself.

Google Maps is updated itself. This is crazy. And how was that? It was really remarkable. I mean, I love Madonna. To me, she's so funny. She's so camp. She's so iconic.

And honestly, what I really love about working on, she really respects me as an artist. Sometimes as a drag queen, people are like, come here and read me and host my brunch. I'm like, girl, if you think I'm at a point in my career when I'm hosting your fucking brunch. and you know, Marie's Pickleshack, you've lost your fucking mind.

That's not where I'm in my career these days. But Madonna, like she didn't, I was, even without having to advocate for it, I had roles in the show that were in drag, roles that were out of drag. I helped create the show. Like, I got to be there with Madonna creating a 40-year retrospective

on her iconic work. Like, what more could you ask for? And seen as you are, which is an artist? You are artists in so many ways. And that's, and you're right, Because like a lot of times what people know you for, they tend to pigeonhole you. Like even indirectly sometimes they like, they kind of are like, I know what you mean. Like, why don't you come down here and read me, queen?

How do you get that? Make fun of me. All the time. But it's almost, it's more so just like, oh, speaking of books, right? The few reviews I've ever seen about my book that weren't, they weren't bad reviews. They were just like, I give this three stars. I give this four stars. And then it's always white women. And the reviews sound almost exactly the same, which is,

they say things like, I don't know, I just like, I already knew all this. And I also thought you were going to like teach me how to make fun of men. I thought you were going to like give me like insult ideas. And I'm like, how the fuck what I put that in about? But we're already going to be hours and hours and hours of TikTok. Just go say the fucking slip print, bitch. What the fuck? But it's literally like it's white women telling like white straight cis women telling me,

I already knew all this. I doubt it. You're younger than me. You're 21. Yeah. Okay. You lie and you're lying. I never been so thin.

I was like your. Your intersectionality. is more advanced than mine. Okay. No, for sure. You can't tell some other things that are everything. I know. That's why I was like, and it always ends with, I thought you were going to teach me

how to make fun of men. I'm trying to teach you how to fucking rip them out of your brain stem. That's what I'm trying to teach you. I'm not trying to teach you how to, like, it's just like, if you just tell me how to like, tell them they have little dicks and stuff.

You can't do that on your own? Just come to have little dicks. You need that from me. But also, my idea of an insult to a man is not something like that because I feel like that's really low hanging through. So it's like... It's not hanging out low.

Right. Not low enough for my taste. For a Netflix. For a Netflix. I feel like it's one of those where I'm like, my idea of insulting them doesn't involve really lowbrow shit like that because that's not funny to me. I was like, do you want to make fun of them or do you want to live up here?

I? Because that's the difference between you and I. I was did a roast tour with Jinks Monssoon. Oh, yeah. And she's really, really interesting. and being very, very PC. Yeah. So she was like, at this rose, when you go to a roast,

the point is like the gloves are off. You say anything. Yeah, there's like no limits. We're all consenting to this. Everyone in the room who's watching is consenting. Everyone who is getting roasted. We're all consented to it. So it's fine.

Say the jokes you want to say. I'm going to say some jokes too. Right. But Jenks like, I don't want to participate in that. So I'm just going to, I'm not going to do any jokes about anyone's physical appearance or their race or anything like that. So instead, what she thought was a better take

was to do just deep personal attacks on us as people. I was like, bitch, make fun of my makeup. The fuck is this. Well, damn. She's like, well, no one likes you. You don't have any friends. People don't trust you. I was like, go back to the black jokes.

At least I've heard all of those already. Right. That was crazy. I'd rather be called a slur. You're actually really hard to talk to. People don't trust you. Your friends don't feel comfortable around you. You leave and have a couple phone calls to make.

That's crazy. And the fact that she thought that would hurt less is. crazy to me. You're crazy. You're fucking crazy. Okay, well, I think your bucket list is wonderful. Thank you. And on my bucket list, I really want to be cast in something as like, like, I want to be

principal cast in something, whether it's a movie or a TV show. And I've been manifesting it for me. But not stage, though? No, because I can't sing or anything. Well, there's plays where you don't have to act, like straight plays, yeah. That's true. I could do. If there's no music, what's the fucking point?

That's what I feel. Watch it Shakespeare. I know. I like straight theater, but yeah, I understand. No, I do love theater. Musicers are exciting. I know. I think it's just, I feel like a hater because I can't sing, so that's probably why.

Well, imagine my shock. I moved to New York City to become a famous Broadway actor. Imagine my shock when I got there to realize you got to be able to sing and dance to be on Broadway. How dumb did I feel getting sent out of every call? They're like, bitch, you can't sing. I was like, oh, well, okay. I didn't realize that was a requirement. I didn't say that.

You should have said before I bought my fucking ticket to this town. That would have been nice to know when I was living in Columbus, Georgia, literally. You should put it on the sign then. Well, I mean, I absolutely see that for you. You know, you got to become friends with the casting director. You know what? The more I've talked to acting about acting with my friends in the business who have been in, been in things and acted in things, whatever, so many of them have told me,

it's like truly just like what they're into. Truly. So, like, one of my friends told me that she's been in the room with showrunners as like a writer and stuff. and she's like when they're casting and they'll watch the first like 10 seconds of someone's self-tape or slate or whatever and immediately they go no next because it's not who they were picturing yeah which to me honestly I feel like it gives it gives me a lot of like freedom in it because I'm like oh well then it's just subjective like it's not really a testament of skill when I'm what you next day I remember auditioning for

uh la la la um why am i can't remember any names today the audrey macdonald uh play that she did is written by Aaron's in Flaherty, rack time. Okay. And they do this thing where before you give them your headshot, before you give them your resume, you all just stand in the line and they just go, no, no, no, yes, no, no, no, yes.

And then they trim it down and then they look at your resume. They don't even look at your resume yet. Do you imagine how hurt I was when I showed up dressed like a fucking, like I was wearing the outfit. I was like, they're going to pick me. I had on the vest. I had on these, I looked like I was in fucking ragtime. the musical, and they looked me in my beautiful

22-year-old brown eyes and said, no. And I had to walk onto the streets of New York City and take the train back to Queens. That sucked. I hated it, but it's true. They just decided up front. You know, one of my biggest, when I first moved to L.A. in 2020, I auditioned. I've actually never, this is an exclusive.

Before we get into that story, the Lifeless is starring Sophia Carson, Connie Britton, and Kyle Allen, and the Life List premieres only on Netflix, March 28th. Back to your story. Gang, gang. So I moved to L.A. Because I moved to for a boy.

Let's keep it a book. I moved for a boy. We're not together anymore. He was so hot. I would have done a lot for him. And I did do a lot for him. And I moved all in L.A. I told myself it was because I got a small starring role on Lucifer, which I did do.

I got a role on Lucifer. And I was like, I'm moving for this. Maybe no one moves for a cameo. You don't move to be a day player. I was more than a day player, but I had like two or three scenes. You don't move for that. You know what I mean?

Right. But then I was like, I was here. I was doing the audition thing. I actually got cast in a show as a principal actor on Fox. I had never had, I was like, this is crazy for me. It was a show called,

it was a show about dancing. And it was called, I can't remember the name of it. Maybe Fox show about. dancing. It was a show. It was a scripted show. You're going to Google. It was a show about creating a reality TV show about dancing. Okay. The Big Leap. That was called The Big Leap. I was cast in The Big Leap. I got the offer. It was a beautiful offer and I had to say no. Why? Because I was doing We're Here on HBO.

It was they were filming the pilot when I was filming one of our episodes. Damn. I was like, I cannot believe that I got cast in the show and I had to actually say No. Because of conflicting time schedule. Yes, I was devastated. I have actually never said it. Then I went back in a,

and I watched, I watched the first few episodes, and I watched the trailer, and the guy they have, who's apparently a really, really great actor, by the way. When I tell you, he looks just like me.

He dresses just like me. I was like, this is crazy. He's probably out there's still scooping up all the rolls I can't. He's getting, girl. Was there another guy in here before me?

Literally. That's the guy right here. here looking just like me. That looks just like me. Very handsome. That's tea. Very handsome. Very handsome. Very handsome. Very handsome. Very handsome. Very handsome. Yeah. All of those things. Yeah. For sure. But no, but I see her for you. I mean, you have any tips for me as far as auditions go? Well, I will say this. First of all, I know that sounds like crazy, but in the open, when you slate, be yourself. Right. Okay. I love

that. Don't try to neutralize yourself. Some people like, some people want to, want to neutralize themselves so they can fit into the character. But for some of us who are, you are not famous for our acting, we're often being cast because of who we are. I know. And then it's a bonus that we can act. Right. So they want to see that drew a fall. They want to see that personality before you get into the acting scene.

Because more than likely, if you're being called in for a role, that character's probably just like you. Yeah. And I've had a few of those reads. I haven't gotten one. But you know what? Hopefully one will stick. But I remember when I was going to ask you this, too, because I've talked to a few

of my friends about it who are auditioning for stuff. like one of the reads I did it felt almost like because I I they liked my tape they liked my slate they asked me to do a live read with like casting directors whatever and I was like okay cool and so I go and I do the live read and they asked me to just read three different scenes there's not many lines they told me I didn't have to memorize them that I could just read them off the thing just to like act them as I as if I wouldn't it's all on zoom and I'm like okay and as I go through the first two like they're they're laughing I'm like cracking them up and then the third one I do it and then she goes can you do it again but do it a little more like in your face

right and I go okay like like confrontational and she's like no no more like if it were you and they said something and then you respond in like your like sassy way like the way she was saying and I was like can you do this yeah can you tongue pop that's why when she said it I was like you want to call me a slur and you can't You probably, if you said that you probably got cast in it, she was like, oh, that's what I was looking for. That's what I was looking for. She said, that was a test and you passed.

That's hilarious. And then I called, I remember I called Caleb after, because I knew I didn't get it, because I felt like that threw me off a little bit. And I did do it the way they wanted and they laughed, but I kind of figured, because they asked me for that note a couple more times. And I was like, okay, you're looking for someone else. I feel like.

Yeah. And I felt, and then I was like, did you guys even like my tape? Or did you just think, maybe she'll be more urban when she's in person. And so I don't know, right? And I don't care. But I called Caleb to care because you get so close something you want.

Yeah. And then it feels like and then I was, I was telling him the reason why it bothers me is because I was like, is that why you picked me? Like, because you thought like I'm just like this like, and another thing, which like I don't even act like that on my ticked on. That's not. That's not. That's not your vibe at all. And that's what he told me.

Like he was like, oh yeah. He goes, you know how many auditions I've done with? like, can you do it a little more gay? Like, he was like, they want to say that to me so bad, but they can. You say, br-c-c-gris, yes, honey, miss God, yes, mama-tonged, yes, diva-down boots, diva-down chaperone, lady. Gaga, wah, wah, wah, wah. Look at that horse. Look at that horse.

Look at that horse constantly their mama, sir. And it's like, is you want to be that level of gay. Like, it, that he was like, that happens all the time. It happens to everyone. It does. marginalized. They'll ask you to do it blacker, they'll ask you to do it gay or they'll,

they'll probably haven't asked you to do an accent yet. I know. I know. You know? I know. And I, when I felt, heard it from him and now I'm hearing it from you,

it makes me feel a little bit better about it. But it did bother me because I was like, because I remember the last of you here, I told you sometimes when lines are written for me, they feel like almost like bad S&L impressions of me. No, for sure. And I told you when they imitate me, they're almost always imitating the wrong race.

It's racist and it's not a guy. against mine. They're like, well, we're going to have you play this Filipino woman. Yeah, that's why I'm like. And then I started thinking, I said, maybe my slate, maybe I should start lying in my slate about how tall I am. Can I be also do what I think you should honestly probably do? Write your own thing.

That's honestly, at this point, that's what it's looking like. Write your own thing. Pitch it yourself. And that way you can write how you want to sound. And because of your level of celebrity, it's easy for you to get in the rooms or at least, so obviously you want to pitch to a production company. And the production will pitch to a network. you can get a deal with a production company who believes in you, who believes in your project and what it is you want to do.

That way you're doing the roles you really want to do. I know. And I've been thinking about that a lot lately too because I feel like it's hard too because I know. I've told people before when I've talked about going into acting, sometimes people online would be like, I fucking hate when TikTokers like, I'm like you guys have no idea what we've been wanting to do a lot of us. Like a lot of us, this was just a vehicle. Some of us ended up on TikTok. No shit. It's like it and it's crazy to think otherwise.

But I've said before the internet is such a tool for people who are marginalized that would never get in the room otherwise. Like this is the only way to get people to pay attention to us. So when I've talked about it in that vein, I've been like the roles that I want to be cast in roles that are not solely reliant on like looks, which obviously they are. But I don't want them to be such a small box. Like a lot of times I'm like, I am a big bitch. I'm a tall bitch. Like I'm a brown bitch. You know what I'm saying?

Like there's lots of things about me that stick out. So that's why I'm like at this point. And it seems like I'm going to have to write my own shit. That being said, this is an exclusive for you. And then I'll just ask Amanda to, like, blur some parts of it. But I am. Oh, work. I told my team, I go, this is me kind of getting in front ahead of myself, but also not.

Then I'm to have it made. Then I enact what I call my Lynn Manuel Miranda plan. Got it. Where I cast myself in a principal role. I said, you can have it, but I'm Hamilton. I mean, even Talapari, I don't really love Tyler Perry's, films. Yeah.

But like, he's not getting cast in much other stuff besides his own stuff. I mean, granted he's pretty, I don't think he'd accept roles. He's so fucking rich and wealthy. Yeah,

like at this point. Yeah. But even early on, he was just writing stuff for himself. Yeah. No one else was going to fucking write the stuff. Exactly. That's why I'm like,

you know what? And then I was like, and part of me also, I want to gentrify other spaces where there's always tiny white girls in there. Yeah. Put me in there. Put me in there.

I want to be in there. I agree. I will say, though, something that does kind of like, not freak me out about acting, but like, at certain points I've been like, is like doing any kind of romantic scenes with other men. Oh, really?

Yeah, because I find most men abhorrent. So that's that I... Be you act like they're not, though. Right, exactly. Method act. I actually find romance quite cheesy. Like, I'm not a romantic. And I...

In general or like in film? Okay. I check out. And in film, I do not... I check out once the romance story happens. Like, if I'm here for Avengers, I want to see y'all fight aliens and space. I don't care that Chris Pratt is in love with this

green lady. I don't care. I'm not here for that part of the story. Right. I always check out. So I understand that. And I've never have I ready to play a romantic role? I mean, I've been in roles where I've had partners. Yeah. But we were it was not, we were like that. We were not like

we were already together. Yeah. There was no like scenes at because I think about that and that gives me like a tangible like anxiety. That's something I'm talking about in therapy, which is like that men in rage me to a point where I feel like I'm a bad person. So that's something I'm working on. But one time I was telling my my cousin Adam who does my hair and makeup, I was like telling about them. I'm like, what if they want me to kiss someone? What if I have to do a sex scene?

That's crazy. And I was like, I was talking about it as if it was going to happen and I was like panicking. Yeah. But this is me just theorizing. Yeah, you're future tripping. Yeah. And then he literally goes, okay, well, first of all, it's four in the morning. So relax. And he goes, second of all, you haven't been cast anything. So I don't know what you're worrying about. Cross that bridge when you get when you get there. Yeah. And he said, right, right, right.

You're burning bridges before you cross. Yeah. You're burning bridges before you cross. But I appreciate your advice. Yeah. And I'm mourning the loss of the big leap with you. It was a pretty big loss. And I've had some other, I mean, I've been in other TV shows.

I was in, I think probably the biggest thing I did was probably Tales of the City with with Laura Lenny and Elliott Page and Olympia Dukakis, RIPA ducacus, RIPA, Fortune Themster. Mm-hmm. So that was a pretty big role for me. Yeah. Probably not for anyone else, but for me it was pretty massive. Yeah, absolutely.

Are you kidding? And then traitors, obviously. The traitors, yeah. Everybody loved you on traitors. Thank you. How was your experience? Tell the Housewife fans of that. Yeah.

Their fan bases are, they are crazy. It's very interesting because the drag race fan base is also crazy, but they're brave. Like, they'll, they'll yell at you. They're yelling, but it'll be from their real account. That's true. The Housewhite fans, they're cowards. They're yelling at you, but it's not an account with, like, of, like, Dorinda's bracelet. The problem is, like, Derinda's hair flip or something, you know?

What the fuck are you talking? My account's called Nini Leaks wig. So they can, like, troll you behind their account with, like, three characters, with, like, three followers. But, like, on Drag Race fans, it is from their real account. It's, like, a picture of them wearing scrubs at, being like, you're an ugly bitch, and I hate you for sending my favorite home. They comment that from their LinkedIn account. Literally. Two really work.

Drag race fans are unhinged. No fear. No fear, honey. How was your experience filming Traders? Full tea. Traders was very stressful for me because it was a stressful time of my life. I had like the, 2024 was a rough year for everyone.

Yeah. I had a really shit year. My house burned down in January. My mom died two weeks before Traders. My mom's funeral was one week. It was one week before Traders. And then I went and I did the Traders. Like, and then so my mom passed away.

The next week, we had her funeral. The week after that, my nephew graduated high school. So I came like this graduation. And then I left from my mom's house. to go and do the traders. Damn. It was crazy. I'm so sorry about your mom, by the way.

Thank you very much. Thank you. It was crazy. It was a crazy time of my life. But I did get a little rest, but I got a little break from the chaos of my life and everything just like literally burning down and losing everything from my,

I don't have anything for my childhood. I have nothing to remember my mom by. Even her car burned down. All I have is her mom was cell phone. All I have is her fucking cell phone. So it was really hard for me to like go through that whole process. But I wasn't able to take a break from like the madness and thinking about that.

I got to play this phone. fun game and I play really really hard I play really hard I play really fast I believe you're do something go in go in and do it right go in absolutely have fun I wasn't trying to hide in the castling corners and like hide from people I was like I'm here to cause a scene I'm here to create madness yeah and I'm a fucking traitor oh there will be chaos well that's why they picked you too yeah think about it like they want big personalities that are gonna stir some shit up but that's what makes it fun and I did and I and I and I really did yeah yeah And it did.

Can you tell me your favorite memory with your mom? I would love to know. Oh, my God, I have so many. I think that my favorite memories were just coming home and seeing my mom. My mother was, she had mobility issues. My mother was disabled. So to the end of her life, she was just, like, sitting in her bed. And I would just come home, walk through the front door and just sit in my mom's bed with her.

I slept in the same bed in my mom every time I went home. I love that. I do that too when I go home to my mom. In the same bed. I was almost 40 years old to be in bed with my mother. That's a beautiful thing, though. We listen there, but we watched Judge. My mother had a question on Judge Mathis,

but we don't all have great taste. No kidding. His son is fine. Judge Mathis is an OG in the daytime television. Do you ever watch Judge Mathis? Yes, I have watched Judge Mathis. He always thinks everyone's doing crack. You can be there for a parking ticket.

Yeah, but you did a little crack, didn't you? Yeah, I know it was a little bit of crack. I would rather see. And that'd be like, yeah, in college. I knew you did crack. I can always smell a crack. Everyone's not doing crack, Judge Mathis. Jesus, crap.

I'm here for a, this is a divorce hearing. This is a stolen car case. Did you see how obsessed I am with people? I'm like, are they laughing? I would rather see Judge Mathis on the Supreme Court. He should go on the Supreme Court. Judge Mathis would be pretty good up there. I think you do a good job.

I think Judge Judy might be a Republican. I hope not. I think she might be a Republican. I wouldn't be surprised, but, like, I wouldn't be shocked to hear that, but it would be a bummer. I'm also really glad that Joan Rivers is dead. I said this other day. I'm so glad she's dead because we would have turned on her. She would have been problematic.

She was great problematic. I would have turned on her quick. Kind of like a Roseanne thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We would have had to feed her to the wolves. 100%.

We would have been that meme of Wesley Snipes when he's crying and he's holding up the gun. Literally. Yeah. I'm glad that it ended when it ended because we would have had to turn on her. And that would have been tough for me. That would have been tough for me. That would have been tough. Yeah, because I know, I know you're Joan Rivers impression.

I remember. Oh, Melissa. Again, my impression is Mario Cantown and impersonating John Rivers at the roast of Joan Rivers. It's not even a good. And his wasn't even good. So mine is really bad. A real Russian doll of an impersonation. Yeah, very.

I do so many bad impersonations. So many bad impersonations. Yeah. I don't do impersonations. I don't think. Mine are terrible. How many have I done for you? You've only ever done Joan Rivers for me.

Okay. Here are a few of my impersonations. and they're really bad. I only do one good impersonation. Okay. Okay. America. We have a presidential candidate.

Okay. Who is trying his best to divide our nation. Okay. Who's that? That's Kamala Harris. Was it bad? Yes. Was it recognizable to one person in the room?

Here's a one to have. We have. have a huge problem in the United States of America when 98% of the wealth is going to 2% of the population. That's Bernie Sanders. I have one person who sees me for who I'm going to be in here. Are they all political candidates? They're usually political figures. Oh, they're just one too.

Every time I can die out here, I see white people acting crazy. That's Chris Rock. You need a woman of us, her name. I appreciate that one. Thank you. These young motherfuckers are all those shit. And then my final one, America. See, immediately.

Yeah, that one's Barack Obama. This last week, I was talking to Michelle. She told me she said, Barry, nigga, act right. That was pretty good. So political candidates and Chris Rock. Political candidates and Chris Rock. And John Rivers, obviously.

Like, apologies always have these weird fucking voices. Yeah, they have cadence. So that's like very easy to mimic, I feel like in a lot of ways. Yeah, they all have really interesting voices. Not all, but most of them. That's too. Like Hillary Clinton didn't have a very interesting voice though. Nah.

But Kamala Harris, I would recognize that voice anywhere. That's true. And Barack Obama too. He has a very significant. What's the guy with the crazy voice? I know he's a thing. But the health guy. RFK?

RFK? Yeah. Donald Trump. Mitch McConnell. I would recognize these voices literally anywhere in the world. I'd be like, that's fucking. Three horsemen of the apocalypse. That's Mitch McConnell talking right now.

Unfortunately. Well, most McConnell. I mean, I can't do my Mitch McConnell. It's quite able-less, my Mitch McConnell impersonation. It is very able-less. I'm going to just keep it a buck. It's agist. It's ablest.

It's abelous. It's a really problematic. So I'm not. gang gang and then she goes hmm and then you said you repeated yourself you said gang gang and she goes I don't I don't I don't enter and then you're all

it means okay I shouldn't have said it no worries yeah I was like it gang gang gang that's what that means don't worry about it I wish I didn't say it I didn't think we tried to get her to say she's like I don't think I should be saying gang I probably shouldn't be saying gang gang gang gang no I'm gonna pass on them thank you so much though

so we're gonna place your car here. She was like sweating. Topl up sweating. That was fun. That was fun that we did that together. And I'm glad that we did it together. Me too. And the lady with us, Teffi? Yes, Teffi. I just found her part that day. She's pretty cool. She told me because when she texts me about it, because she's one of my like sisters. When she texts me about it, I was like, oh my God, I'm so excited. And I said, have you ever met Bob? And then she goes, she goes, I have. But I don't think he remembers me. And honestly, I hope he doesn't because I think I was fuck. up. Harry Daniels goes up, but he like he Oh, when you got his ass, that's the fucking wicked. Harry Dale has these hostage situations where

he corners you and sings a song to you. And I was like, I'm saying, I'm going to sing fuck the police to Harry Daniel. I cannot wait to go up to Harry Daniels. I'm going to interrupt this conversation. I don't care who he's talking. I don't care if he's talking to fucking Cynthia Rebo. I'm interrupting the conversation. I'm going to interrupt the conversation. I'm

hand him my board from the phone. I was like, I'm going to go sing fuck the police to Harry Daniel. And she's in the background of the video. How does he get into these places? He's saying to the president of the United States of America. I actually do have some fun facts about you though. And I'll say true or false. Okay.

It says you go by the stage name Caldwell to TDQ. TDQ for acting roles. Yeah, which is just TDQ, the drag queen. Oh, T. Yeah. Is that, oh, so it's like a. Just spelled out. Right.

right, an anagram, if you will. Okay, it says Bob once got arrested in drag for blocking traffic while protesting for queer rights. That is true, I got arrested. I want to say, oh my God, 2010? Okay, T. Yeah, and Bryant Park.

And fun fact about that, when I got arrested because I didn't know how long I'd be in jail because it could have been for the whole weekend. So I was like, I need to pack snacks, but I can't bring a bag. So I had, and I kid you not, a bagel under my wig, my tits were made of cashews, and I had a cliff,

bar under each one of my hip pads. That is a true fat. You said I keep that motherfucking thing on me. Exactly. I keep that thing on me. Yeah. It says Bob. For the broccoli.

High key. Keep a horn on me. That Kamasi. It says Bob used to work as a real estate agent. Yeah, I was a licensed. Well, I was a licensed real estate salesperson.

Right. You have to work a little longer to be an agent. Yeah. But yeah, in New York City, I specialize in rentals. And I was mostly renting like drag queens and cabaret performers

and strippers who I knew. through the nightlife scene. Yeah. That's so sick. That is true. I love that. Look at you giving back. It says Bob's first major stage production was playing Belize and Angels in America at the Berkeley rep.

Yeah, so I went to school for acting. I didn't graduate college. I dropped out after three years to move to New York City to become a star. And then I got it worked out for you. Woo! And then I basically took like a 10 year break from actual act. I started focusing on stand-up comedy. I was like, I know that my calling is going to be Sam a Common.

Like, I'm a really funny person. I'm really good at writing jokes. And then Tony Kushner, who is the Pulitzer Prize, I believe Oscar Award winning, Tony Award winning author who wrote Angels in America. He wrote the movie Lincoln. He wrote Carolina Change. He wrote the movie The New West Side Story. Oh, love.

Like he writes, he's that guy. He's that girl. He reached out and was like, I feel like you are a good actor. I just tell you in Drag Race, I just feel like in my heart. Like, you're a good actor. Would you audition for Angels in America? So my return to acting was doing eight shows a week, which, by the way, I'm going to go ahead and say that's an inhumane schedule. I agree.

When I see the Broadway schedule that some girls do on TikTok, I'm like, that is nuts. Eight shows in six days. That's crazy. They get one day off a week. And it's a Monday. The fuck am I going to do on a fucking Monday. In my prime? Yeah, literally.

So I return to do Angels in America at the Berkeley rep. And Angels is two plays. Each one's about three and a half hours. Damn. And I was with heavy hitter, Stephen Spinella, Tony Award winner, Steve Spinella, Randy Harrison, like Danny, Fara Danny, like something massive, brilliant actors. That's crazy. Yeah.

Look at you. You said, slight work. I'm a pretty good actor. I'm not going to lie. I'm a pretty good actor. You are, I believe you. You're an artist through and through. Okay, this last one says, Bob used to have YouTube vlog series called Bobin' Around.

And the tagline was, I film it on the phone, I edit it on the phone. It's not that serious. Yeah, I would Whenever I would go on a Go on a gig, I would just film myself on my phone Doing ridiculous stuff Or just,

It was just like Just doing the stuff I do Meeting people, meeting the Queens where I'm going at You know, on the plane With my assistant, Louise at the time And I would edit it I would edit it on the plane

I would like literally sit on the plane Edit it. But then I kind of stopped doing it Because like My phone just ran out of space. Like I couldn't even like Have you ever had your phone be so full You couldn't even send a text?

No, but speaking of it. of your phone. You've had that happen? It stresses you. You can't even see the text. Speaking of your phone, I need everyone to know that Bob has an Android. I have a Google Pixel. Whenever Bob texts me, it's green bubbles and it is crazy. Green bubbles. Not everyone can afford an iPhone. Oh, sorry, season fucking two of traitors. My bad. Season three, how dare you? Sorry. I'm like, I've never watched it, so I don't know. No, but I really love, I mean, the Google Pixel is just, I, I'm not came in for Google, but it is a fucking good phone. And I just got used to using Android for so long. And I actually do have, can you, because I'm going to bring my back in the room. I'm going to show you, I'm going to show you something that I don't, I'm going to show you something.

I don't tell a lot of people. Thank you, my dear. I believe it's in the Gucci fanny pack on the chair. So this is my Google Pixel, but the truth is, Drew, I have an iPhone. Wow. I just don't use it. I have an iPhone. I just don't text anywhere.

Come back to when he said, not everyone can afford iPhone. It's true. He has two phones. I wasn't talking about me. Alexa played two phones by Kevin Gates. Exactly. So I do have an iPhone. I use it for a certain stuff.

It's like the Google pixel camera is really like over the top in advance. And when you try to film in TikTok, the quality is decompressed so badly. So I use my iPhone. Right. When when qualities higher, it uploads in terrible quality. It actually really does. It actually does not upload. When you film it from the app, the app itself is not capable of handling.

the quality of the Google Pixel. I'm not making this up. There's some tech nerd in the company like, actually, actually, he's actually right. It's the whole thing.

I'd say that too if I was fucking working at Google Pixel. I wish I was working at Google Pixel. But yeah, but the iPhone is better for those apps. And there's a lot of things a lot of things with the Google phone

is better for the iPhone. So I just kind of flop back and forth from this here. I got three phones, one for the bros, one for the hose, one for the nose. I'm kidding.

I don't do Coke. I'm kidding. I don't do Coke. Not anymore. Not anymore. That's 2024. That's the past. 24 is crazy.

Last year is, I thought you was like 2004 or something. What were you in 2004? I don't want to hurt my feelings. Where were you in 2004? What were you doing? 2004. I was nine. Nine years old.

That hurt. And you were, what, 25? I was 18 years old. How dare you? I just graduated high school at Clayton County, Mara High School in Clayton County. Nice. I think I'm the most famous person for my high school.

From your high school? Yeah. I would assume. Every high school in the world. I was like, but I mean, Clayton County actually is a pretty, I mean, there's a lot of famous rappers from Clayton County. Okay, too.

Lotto is from Clayton County. Oh, love. Walk-a-Flock of Flame is from Clayton County. Yeah. Michael Montana is from Clayton County. I think Bubba Sparks might be from Clayton County, but he might be from a Grange, George. I'm not sure where Bubba Sparks is from.

Okay, too. So there's a lot, but they didn't go to my high school. So as of right now, it's me. You know what's funny is I've been doing college talks recently. like I just go and like answer questions or whatever. And I've been asked by so many colleges except my own, the one that I went to. I also, okay. They never ask me.

It doesn't that stink? Yeah. I don't know about that. I told my agent, I said, I want to do it. He told you should do a show on my tour. I said, you're going to go to Atlanta. I said, no, I'm going to go to Columbus, Georgia where I was born. I'm going to Columbus, Georgia.

Love. I'm going to go back to my alma mater. Right. And I'm going to put on, it's going to, I'm going to sell out the Bill Hurd Theater, the biggest theater. Hometown Hero. What I tell you, that was my lowest selling show. When I tell you, Columbus said, nigga, fuck you.

You don't know you. He said, when I tell you, Columbus doesn't give a fuck about me. Didn't care. I had more members of my family in the audience than I had paying people. I paid to do that show. That was insane. And my agent was like, no, don't God said, no, you don't get it. My town loves me, baby.

They're going to show out for me. No one. I couldn't be bothered. They didn't even hire security. They were like, we're going to give you one usher and someone worth a popcorn machine, fish. And that's all you get. And he clocks out at five.

It was very humbly. It ended up being a really beautiful show because I just ended up like not caring and like the long thing. But I was like, I would remember thinking myself, this is going to be my big come home moment. They're going to gag me no one. My lowest cell.

I did over 80 shows. I sold less tickets there than anywhere I've ever been. Columbus, I'm very disappointed at you. Very disappointed in you. I put you bitches on the mother. the fucking math. And this is how you fucking thank me. I think a famous from Columbus, Georgia.

Wayne Brady's from Columbus, Georgia. Oh, cool. And also, I don't know if you know Maureenie is a famous blues singer. She's from Columbus, Georgia, and she might be my cousin. Okay, too. Yeah, I think Ma'Raney might be.

Do you have done the DNA test? No, I haven't. I'm a little afraid to. I will send my fucking DNA to any. I'll send a bottle of sperm. I bet you would. And I had to ask you to stop because you wouldn't send stuff sending it for me.

I didn't want to have to bring it up the show but you brought it up first so i'm really good i was really funny i love that i do feel that way though about most things where like when they say things like oh they're watching you through your phone or whatever i don't care i don't care i can't be bothered and i'm not doing anything interesting me too i've said that i'm like if i'm not it's boring as fuck but if you find anything y'all want to watch me play a fortnight for real do you like do you like video games you love video games i think we talked about i love video games what's you're What's your favorite kind of video game?

I like Super Smash Bros. Oh, love. So I love fighting games, but I've specifically been zoning in on Super Smash Bros. Specifically, I probably want to come out for the first time in a long time, like two nights ago with a friend of mine. And it just took me so long to get back into it. But Super Smash Bros. I'm that girl. Who's your character on the Smash Bros?

See, I have a few. My first go-to is always Villager. Okay, T. Villager is also the only character you can make black. I don't go know those. If you, L-1, back one time, you get Black Villager. Black Villager. I love this.

I just always say that. That should be your W.W.E. Named. Black Villager. Black Villager. You can make some characters literally the color black. There's like a black Kirby.

There's a black Donkey Kong, a black King K. Rule, a black Gannon, but they're literally the color black. Okay. But Villagers is like a black woman. Okay, cool. No, there's also a black inkling.

Okay, too. I was a Kirby girl. Kirby girl? Yeah. I hate the curbies. Yeah. It's not the best. best. As I've played the newer versions

of Smash Bros. Like when I played back in the day I was always Kirby and I felt like I was killing it. Now I feel like Kirby's just not really holding up. He got nursed. He was too powerful. He was too powerful. He was definitely too powerful. Exactly. I feel like, I'm going to say right now, if you get back into it, I feel in my heart of heart, you're going to be a Zelda girlie. Really?

You think? I do love Zelda. You've got some Zelda in you. Right. She's a really great character. She has great defensive moves. She has, she can deflect moves as well. She has a shield. She has a guard who shows about nowhere and swings a big, a big sword at you.

She's a great character. I love that you're super into fighting games. Do you like any other kinds of games? I like, I like, uh, Fortnite because it's like, it's like a first person shooter game,

but I can't call a duty. I can't like, it's too much. It's scary. It's too real. Yeah, it's too real. It's horrifying.

Have you ever, the story? Like the bodies fall, the body's like, yeah, for real. Like in Fortnite, watch you blow a hole in their head.

Literally. But in Fortnite they're like evaporate. Oh, that's what I want to see. They like, they like paid away, but this game it's like, cartoon death. The guys literally like, my wife,

tell my wife I love her. I'm like, Jesus Christ. The story modes on Call of Duty are even more scary because they're like real. Like it, they're war stories obviously, but they look and feel too real. I just don't like when I have to like, it's me. Like it's my vision.

You don't like first person. I don't like that. I prefer a third person. Well, when you play Fortnite, it's not really fourth person because you can actually, you can actually see it. Your little character, yeah. I had a spell with Fortnite where I was like playing it a lot.

How were you? I was pretty good. I started getting a lot better. And then I won like two or three times. And then I was like, yeah, I'm done over it. Yeah. Retire while I'm on top. Honestly, hang my jersey and the rafters.

I do love Fortnite. Fortnite and smash are my two favorite video games. And then every 15 years and they release a Zelda, I will play the whole thing. I loved the Zelda games when I, the GameCube was a thing. My sister and I had all the Zelda games, loved those fucking. games. I mean, Tears to the Kingdom was a really, really great. I mean, Breath of the Wild is really that girl. Really? I don't think they will ever talk Breath of the Wild. Yeah. I haven't played any, I haven't played Zelda any time recently, but sometimes she calls to me. It's fun. You have a Switch.

No, I don't. Actually, no, I do. I do have a Switch. Yeah, you got to have the play on Switch. Breath of the Wild, 10 out of 10 recommend. Okay, love. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I talk to Monet about video games too. She doesn't like Breath of the Wild. No, but when we were talking about the portable PS five things. Have you seen those? Yep. She goes, oh my God, my boyfriend got me one recently. And she goes, they're fucking. I go, oh, they're fucking stupid. They don't work.

Like, have you ever tried those? No, I've never played it. No, it's literally like, it looks awesome because it looks exactly like the PS5. But then, like, you need to be right next to the PS5 in order to use it. Hey, what's the fucking point? And then let's thank our sponsor, Sony. Netflix would never do that to me.

Do you ever get ready with these? Have I ever done that? Do you ever do them? no not really not on my personal tic-tok but do you do your makeup sometimes too yeah but not for work ever it's always yeah valid valid valid I know that's why I'm like sometimes or this morning literally I told my cousin Adam I was like oh I'm I have a bob today and he was like oh and then he spent extra long on my face you look so thank you but I always remember that he always says like whenever I'm working with drag queens he wants to do a really good job on my makeup just in case so they don't clock me so what's he doing the other time Exactly. I was like, oh, I like that.

We need to have a conversation. Let's have another re-evaluation, a work assessment, honey. We'll revisit that at the end of this quarter. Well, to close us, do you have any advice for anyone who's pursuing any sort of creative endeavor right now? My greatest gift is that I am not a perfectionist. Love. I just do it. Just make it. Just make the TikTok, make the food, draw the picture, write the book. write the joke and you'll just get better next time.

Yeah. And it's true. And you are a man of many talents. I do want to say before it on a very serious no, I fucking love you, obviously. I love you very personally. But I think you are so fucking talented.

Like you are like one of the most talented people I've ever met that can do so many different things. And I mean that so sincerely. You don't know that many people? Oh, you don't get out much. Well, out of all the drag queens.

Obviously. That's obvious. In general, I just think I think you're a fucking star. I think you know that. But I just think. you're fantastic and amazing and I feel lucky to know you. That means a lot to me.

And also, I'm going to get you a copy of my book. Please do. I meant to bring it, but I ended up giving away a bunch of the queries last night that was hosting and I read out of books. But I'm going to get you a sign copy of my book and I'm going to text you over. So in my audio book, there are two original songs in it. Oh, I love. Two original songs.

I'm going to send them over to you. I'm so, like, these are the best songs I've ever written. Oh, I love that. These are legit, the best songs I've ever. They're written from the perspective, like the point of view, the POV of Harry Tubman. Yeah. The best songs I have ever written in my fucking life.

And I cannot wait to share them with you. I love to hear that. And I think you're, I think you're a shining example of someone who, obviously you're so talented in the drag world. But you're someone who is an artist at the very center of everything. You're an artist. And I think you've done a fantastic job of being able to showcase all the other talents

outside of drag. Like, obviously you love drag. But like, you are so incredibly talented outside of that. So I'm so excited to read your book and hear your songs. I think you're fantastic. Let me look at these nails real quick.

Oh, yeah. God. Who's your nail person? Her name's Michelle. Michelle Nail Studio. Michelle 8. Yeah. She does a good job.

Crazy out that very first sin was a woman who ate. That's crazy. Well, I'm so happy for you. I'm so excited for your book. And obviously everybody here already knows where they can find you at Bob the Drag Queen. Yeah, Bob the Drag Queen. And if you want to get my book, you go to read the drag queen. Period.

If you want to see me on tour, go to see the drag queen. com. And if you would like to get a signed copy of my book, go to Bob signed a book. go to bob signedbook.com. That's a lot of URLs I know. A lot of earls. It's okay. We'll list them all out so everyone can find them.

There we go. But thank you so much for coming back. I fucking love you. My pleasure. Thank you. You're the best. Every time we hang out, it's a key. A key in half.

I love you. And I love all of you. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show. Don't forget. I think about your family. Hot take. I love you guys. I love you.

Thank you so much for joining us on this episode. Don't forget new episodes. drop every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite platform, Spotify. Thank you so much to my amazing all-star guest, Bob the Drag Queen. Don't forget, I know you bitches are already following him on literally everything.

Of course you are. Or don't forget to go see Bob on tour, go get Bob's book. Bob is everywhere. What the fuck? Literally, you can watch you in the new season of Traders. I'm like litter. I get everywhere and I'm impossible to get rid of. Lice.

Bed bugs. I never had lies. Never had, I don't have a... read the room I imagine I was like read the room the abelism the ball

the body shaming yeah the body shaming they always get mad at they always get mad with you they will say everything but the moment you say anything you can be like your haircut

and be like oh but now body shaming yeah they're like I thought you hated body shaming I never said that I hate when they when someone goes but I thought that

that you always were the ones who love everyone who the fuck told you I love everyone I don't even know everyone Don't you put that on me Love everyone Bitch the fuck I feel about

Trump supporter girls Getting mad at me When I said I hate you And I said What about me makes you fucking think That I literally Get away for me We've started a whole second podcast

We gotta go All right thank you all Yeah thank you guys so much for watching And I'll see you next week Bye