The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - YOU’RE NOT THE NEXT BILLIONAIRE, DAVID | Drew Afualo & E.R. Fightmaster | THE COMMENT SECTION EP 77

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

[video available on Spotify] This week, E.R. Fightmaster joins Drew on the show for an episode that bashes the patriarchy so hard it may never recover. They talk about their favorite Elon Musk facts, why saying "body count" is the straight agenda, a stand-up comedian who helped E.R. realize they were not attracted to men, men paying to see boobs, paving the way for more non-binary representation in media, and so much more! Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo E.R.: IG / TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I've had this argument with men, obviously, because they love a billionaire, like terrible men. Oh my God. They love a billionaire. Because they think they're next. Yeah, they're like, that's me. I'm not going to type shit on Elon because I am the next Elon. No, you're not, David. They're like, well, you know, I mean, Real Recognize Real. So like, I get his mindset because I'm also up there with him. I'm in the, I'm in the lab with him. I'm also an abuser. I'm also an awful person is what I meant. Everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your favorite. Once again, nobody gives a shit about me ever anymore ever since Spotify bombing. You guys don't care about me anymore.

Anyways, I'll save that for my therapist. On to the amazing guest of today. It's the one, the only, the iconic, the legendary ER Fightmaster. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. I'm honored. I want to say I've always looked at those nails, the nails that you have.

And I've been like, how. do they work like how do you use them and then I just saw Megan the stallion yeah cooking with them oh yeah it's like no part of the food touched her actual flesh I was like oh they're for chefs extension of me yeah they're tongs they're tongs they are and I didn't realize that I was like a Swiss army knife if you will I thought it was some kind of like pillow princess of life stuff of where you're like I can't hold anything but actually you can hold stuff way better I've adapted I've adapted to my environment. Yeah.

You know what's funny is I've never had long nails ever growing up because I played sports. So like you can't have nails at all. And so I think like me being like a picnic, I was like, that's such, that's for girls. That's for girly girls. That's not like me. And then I remember I think like my sophomore year of college, my one of my best friends was like telling me that she wanted to go get acrylics. And I was like, well, I just like don't know like if I could do anything with them and blah, blah.

and she was like, I like them. And she like really challenged my like, I was like, okay, same. Fine, yeah, me as well. Yeah, I mean, you didn't let me finish. Now I do is what I was going to say. And so we went to the nail salon and I was like so fucking broke. And her dad actually paid for us all to get our nails done, including acrylics, which is so nice. Thanks, Darren.

If you ever watch this. I know Darren's a big fan of the show. He hasn't heard from me in like seven years. Anyways, he paid for me. for them and when I got them I remember being like this is my new personality I've adopted it one of the most like femme things I've ever heard is like the first time you got acrylics it was from somebody else's dad that's the most uh I'm most heterosexual thing I've ever said I'm obsessed with women I'm like one of the ways that I know that I am non-binary is because when women do things I'm like

what it's like when men do like when you're at the zoo when you're at the zoo when you're at the zoo when you see like gorillas petting each other's hair and you're like that is so cute that's wild I love those little fuckers and that's how I feel about all women and then men I'm like I have a really bad like you and me both yeah we have that in common and I'm people are like where are you I'm like I'm right in the middle watching both having a different experience that's having a horrifying one and then a very very cute and it's like admirable one yes I feel that you're an icon and a legend I'm so honored to have you. For those of you who aren't familiar,

ER is one of the first non-varnary people to be in many different forms of media. Very important, big forms of media, but we can't talk about that right now, and we will. Because we are on a S-T-R-I-K-E, and I spelled it that slowly because I forgot how to spell it.

As you're spelling, you're like, okay, yeah, that sounds right. I'm off topic, but not really. I'm in the middle of writing a book right now. Oh, rad. Okay. The way I had to like reteach myself how to like write sentences is embarrassing. The way I had to read download Microsoft Word. Like I haven't had that program on my computer and years. I've, I'm like I've been writing like some essays for fun. Yeah. And very gay.

And I've been, that's the gay agenda. That's the gay agenda. It's to get you to write for fun. And I've been using pages, which funny enough, I didn't even think about pages. Don't think about pages. Don't think about pages because if you send pages to any other computer, it gives it a virus. Really? Like, pages, like, they do not work. Like, you can copy and paste from pages and put it in a Word document, and your laptop will kill itself. It explodes. It turns all the words to hieroglyphics.

There's, like, words off the screen now. Yeah, it's, like, full ass not supposed to work. Oh, okay. Because they're trying to get, I think it had to be a word tried to make pages. You know what I mean? Word was like, you think you can replace us? I think you could do better than Word. I'd like to see you try.

Then you use pages and you're like, oh, I guess I have to re-download Word. And then when you redownload it, where it's like, and here you are, crawling back, huh? Come on back. grass is always greener, isn't it? That's crazy. I, like, yeah, I had to redownload Word, which you have to pay for it. sting of adulthood. Like when I found out I moved into my first house ever was in college, like when I moved off campus for the first time. I'm like in my big girl house with my best friend and we move in and I'm like I have to buy curtains. You're telling me the house doesn't

come with curtains, let alone curtain rings. Where does it end? Where's the rod? The way I'm like in a fishbowl if I don't buy sheets for the windows is crazy. Absolutely sick that everything's not free for us. I'm simply a teenage girl and you want me to buy curtain rings. The fact that I was like there's no bath mat, like those don't just come with the house. The way my mom just like buys them and puts them places and I'm like, well, clearly that's part of the infrastructure. I'm sorry. And it costs like millions of dollars to survive. Like, what is going on? What is even the point? What is? Capitalism was whooping my ass when I moved out on my own. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, man, the way things don't come with the house is just unbelievable.

And you're buying the cheapest stuff you possibly can, so you're buying the bath mat, but it's got like, it's because you bought it for $19. It's metal underneath and it slides. So I almost break my neck every time I get out of the shop. I bought sheets. I saw sheets and I lived in Hawaii at the time and everything is so expensive already in Hawaii. So like, I go and I look at curtains and I'm like $20 not spending that. And then I bought some for like nine bucks. And I bought some for like nine the way they were paper thin, I might as well have just taken them out. You could see through them. The sun, like, lights them on fire. The sun is, like, highlighting me almost. It's almost like, it's making it, like, widescreen. You can look at the window. It brought the sun closer.

Yeah. It expanded my window. I'm like, there's no point, but I was being cheap. So I'm like, I'm buying $9 car and I don't care. To live with any dignity is so expensive. It's so messed up. It is. It truly is. But that's why for the STR, I-K-E, when that big, dumb asshole said that thing about starving out, like, writers and actors. Like, truly, like, villain shit. Villain shit. Yeah, like, actually. Like, and we'll never forget it, and there's no forgiveness here.

And the thing that that guy doesn't know about being starved out is that, like, actually all creatives, we are, we are poor. Like, we've been poor. And that's, like, one of the reasons that we're successful now is, like, you do. so much work when you're an artist for free. Literally. And then one day you start getting paid for it and you're like, oh, okay. I didn't know that was going to happen for me. Yeah. You know what I mean? So we're like, we're used to it. Like you can't starve us out. That's what I was going to say. I'm like, who do you think can wait each other out longer? Yeah. They've been living off two nickels and a dime for years. Ten plus years, in fact. You'll run out of truly champagne on your yacht and

you both think about ending it all. Like, and you're like, take it back to the doctor. I can't do it Yeah. No, I'm going to shower without towels, bitch. I'm an air dry with no curtains in my house. Oh, I've done that. I've done a paper towel dab. I can tell you, someone who can live off a budget is someone who freelances or is a creative in the art space, entertainment space, literally at all. They could live off crumbs forever. That's, it's so true. Which is sad.

You asked me, like, because I'm in two unions right now. So I'm on double strike for those things. And I've got projects in both of those spaces that can't talk about at all that is so wonderful. And so you asked me before we started recording if I was like busy. And the answer is yes, like more than ever. Because now I'm going to my other art spaces where I'm not in these unions. And I'm like, you know, recording music and releasing an album and all this stuff. But it's because we don't stop grinding.

Like artists have all of these things that we're constantly splitting these plates all the times. Because you can't stop. Yeah. But this, you know, Disney villain ass bitch. Literally Disney villain asses. Like an actual one. Disney. And like metaphorically and literally.

He's got one plate and it's killing the poor. No, true. And he's like, you guys just, what else do you want my house? Yeah. He's like, you guys need anything that you want a livable wage? What's next? What's next? What's next? Where does it end?

Oh my God. You need to be fed? Fed and water? That's crazy. Sick. Little rats. That's sick. Greedy. Now everyone's getting greedy.

What happens then? I think the rich thing that poor people are like house plants. You know what I mean? You live off photosynthesis? Yeah. We're like taking in the sun and we're like, okay, I guess this will do. They're like, you mean you can't just lay in the yard? That's not enough for you. After you mow it.

Yeah. For free? I think to what's crazy about that is like most freelancers in any, even in the creative spaces have mastered, like what she said, they've mastered the art of pivoting. Things change all the time. Like the entertainment industry is one of the most fickle other than like sports, right?

So like we're kind of equals where like you are never guaranteed anything like ever. You have to like constantly be moving. It's like you know they say like if sharks stop swimming they'll die. So even when they sleep, they're still swimming. Yes. That's I truly believe that's how all creatives are because you have to learn to live off.

nothing and truly do it for the love of it and the love of creating and being creative. And only outsiders, like, and I outside the craft think that you've ever made it. Because when you're inside of it, you never feel like you've made it. Like there are wins that you can have. Yeah. There are big moments. Yeah. But the making it is everlasting because you never know if that job you have right now.

If you're going to get cut tomorrow, if your character is going to die. Yeah. If they don't have room for anything. any more writers. Yeah. You know what I mean? If the single flaps, like, you never know when it's going to be the last one. So you're always on alert.

Yeah, and like walking on eggshells. Yeah. That's why I said constantly swimming. And I feel like, even for me, not to get existential and super kind of depressing, but like when I went to therapy, like when I started going to therapy, part of the reason, like I wanted to go, like one of my goals was to focus more on being present. And I was telling my therapist that, like, I am constant. thinking about the next thing because I have to keep moving in order to keep making money and

as you get bigger and you get more successful and that's great and you make money hopefully at some point you make money to sustain a lifestyle like you start taking on more responsibilities so I start taking care of more people and I start so there's some the pressure builds as you go higher yes because it's so uncertain like you just can't you can never be absolutely certain that you're going to be working a year from now so you have to just constantly be like like you said, spinning plates and rolling balls in all different directions. So something shakes out. When I talk to young artists that have questions about, you know, making art or art industry or whatever, what it's like to work,

the big advice that I give now is in the time that you have off, you have to be doing stuff that actually fills your cup. Because so many of us get lost in the sauce where we're like working all the time, working all the time. and then when we're not working, we're like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. And it actually makes you so much less dynamic. Truly, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it's so much harder to make art if the only thing that you're doing is making art. Yeah, I think that's, I've talked to my other creative friends about it, like, whether they're

creators or artists or whatever it may be. And that we've all kind of mutually agreed that when we get to that point, that's when you experience burnout. Yes. Because you're just, you're constantly working, you're finding no joy. Now it's just a chore because you just, you have to do it. You just, you see it as having to do it as opposed to loving doing it, which is why you started in the first place. Yeah.

And you kind of lose that allure, like that, that excitement that you feel about wanting to be creative. And like for me, like, I'm an internet jester. So like I just, I talk to my fucking self all the time. And at some point, like I started like, obviously I had like my big growth and I started doing other things outside of social media. But with social media, it started getting like burnout for me. I started feeling stale almost because I'm like, okay. I don't want to hear myself talk anymore. Like, I'm just so exhausting, exhausted with myself.

I'm exhausting. Yeah, I am. It's okay. We can all say it. Two camera for that. I mean, men can't say that, but I can say that. Shut up. You can say anything. If you're thinking about talking, be quiet.

First, don't. Just don't. That's okay. You can adhere to that. And I think that's when I really started thinking, okay, I got to start taking a step back a little bit and kind of reframing how I just. see things. Otherwise, you just grow this like resentment towards it. Absolutely. Which feels like a

champagne problem, especially when you succeed. Like you're just like, this is, nobody wants to hear me complain about this awesome job in life. I'm including myself. They think, I think they want you to think it's a champagne problem. Like, the fact is like, we're still, when you talk about these CEOs that are talking about starving us out, like, that's a champagne problem is really looking at a group of thousands and thousands of people. I'm being like, ugh, paying you makes me want to self-harm. That's a champagne problem. Us worrying about like, I make art for myself and for other people because I'm helping

create a culture that I want to live in. And sometimes I get tired and my heart's not in it is not a champagne problem. That's like... Well, thanks, you are. You pull off your mask and you're my therapist. I just think it's so important to remind each other. Like we are we as much as like they they'll call it like content creation like no we're not creating content we're creating culture and that that is you can obviously you can put a money

value on it but the value for us is so much beyond money we just need money to live that's true and that's why it sucks that there are all these puppet masters trying to like convince us that we're being greedy but it's like no I'm literally giving you pieces of me that's true and you're like like everything I have. Yes. Like literally everything I have to give. Yeah. Every time I go through a breakup or have or go through a depressive episode, like thinking

about like, okay, how could I synthesize this feeling so I could present it to like young queer kids is like, hey, I experienced this too. Here's what I'm doing to take care of myself. You know, like literally giving parts of yourself away. And they're like $35 an hour. Fuck you. What? What?

What? Jesus. What else? Yeah. Where does it end? Honestly. I was like, you want to be able to live

off your art. I want to pay my rent. That's crazy. That would be huge for me. Now you're talking crazy. That's more than enough, honestly. Basic room and board would be more than okay.

Basic room board. Oh, God bless. I can't even imagine a world. In LA. Yeah. Yeah. What a rare resource. Yeah. Actually, now I'm being greedy.

Yeah. Just food for now. Let's start there. Food. Start their workup. I think that's also to, that's a really good point about, like, creating culture and stuff in the way that, well, that's, that's my whole point of why it doesn't make sense to me, why that seems to be such a huge ask to ask for, like, livable wages. Because there is no entertainment without creatives. No.

Like, there is nothing. Like, the whole, I know they're talking about using AI or whatever. That stuff doesn't make sense to me either, because I'm like, you've seen, I've seen the AI generated baby pictures and they're horrifying. I can't even imagine trying to make a show with that. Somehow blurry teeth every time. And like toes for fingers, like I don't understand. Like you're telling me they could create an entire show or movie. I doubt it.

Yeah, there's a dog that has like a Pepsi can for a paw in the background. And they're like, see, like, they didn't ask for more money. AI didn't ask me for more money. Pepsi dog didn't ask for more money. He's just happy to be here. And he has a disability. Yeah. Oh, and I love the AI argument because they're like, see, we can.

make anything and you're like, but AI, they're taking the intelligence that they're collecting is ours. From humans. Yeah, it's from human beings. Yeah, still. When they're doing like, oh, AI made this photograph. Can't you tell? I'm like, no, I actually, I couldn't tell because AI stole this from a series of photographers

I love. So it actually did look vaguely familiar and all of it was stolen. Yeah, it's all just like, it's pulling from things that were correct. created by humans. Yes. So technically, and AI was created by a human. AI is clip art.

Like, it is clip art. It's stock image photos. And they're like, they're going to take over the human race. I'm like, no, like,

it's still, I think at this point, the AI conversation is existential, but really capitalism is the conversation. Truly. It's not about AI. AI is a symptom of

capitalist greed. You know what I mean? truly like we get so tired of hearing about the 1% but it's the 1% the only thing that the 1% isn't really good at doing is making art like they can make money and they can travel and they can do all this stuff but they're not creative not and they're not good like I'm sorry but to be that high up you're not good no you simply aren't it's the thing about the same argument where it's like there's no ethical billionaires yes because there's just no way there's literally no way you can achieve that level of money without being awful in some

respect, like without oppressing people in some respect, like you have to in order to reach that level. And without a level of like incredibly like toxic narcissism. And so they like you see it with like these narcissists all the time. It's this like entitlement and this entitlement to other people's. The narcissist thinks that by being in proximity to greatness that the narcissist is great, that they can look at you and be like, okay, well, I don't have joy, but you have joy. So I'm to take your joy. And I hired you. So technically. So that's my joy now. Technically, that's all up here. And they don't have art.

No. And they don't have beauty and they don't have good. And so they're looking at all these artists that have worked so hard to create our own joy. It's so hard to create our own, like, taste and create this culture. And they're like, okay, how do we get rid of you? Because every time we look at you, every time you're in a room and we see that you actually dressed yourself and I don't recognize any of these brands because you made the clothes. And all these photos that you took that are on your Instagram that you didn't have to pay a Getty

image person to take for you. You know what I mean? Like that people actually care about what you're. creating. I, as the narcissist, I cannot look at you any longer. So I guess I'll have a robot do it. Fuck your robot. You dork. We'll just create an even stronger robot. You keep doing the next level of their robot. Put with a beret on. It's like the same thing with, I've had this argument with men, obviously, because they love a billionaire, like terrible men. Oh my God. They love a billionaire. Because they think they're next. Yeah, they're like, that's me. I'm not going to talk.

shit on Elon because I am the next Elon. No, you're not, David. They're like, well, you know, I mean, Real Recognize Real. So, like, I get his mindset because I'm also up there with him. I'm in the lab with him, too. I'm also an abuser. I'm also an awful person, is what I meant. Yeah, with the argument with Elon, too, is hilarious because they talk about, like,

Tesla or whatever. And I'm always like, he purchased that idea from somebody else. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. It didn't come from his brain. But that's what you just said. It's like they, narcissists like him truly believe that because they had the means, which he's also a Nepo Baby, I don't know if anyone knew that.

And he purchased like a revolutionary idea. He's like, well, clearly I am also smart. I'm also revolutionary. I'm also a genius because I had the money to buy this from somebody else whose brain came up with it. And then tanked their stock. I'm sorry. And then ruined it.

And then bought Twitter and tanked Twitter. And, like, it's now literally suing the people that allowed him to buy Twitter. Like, he's like, you guys didn't tell me I was going to ruin it. How come nobody told me that? Well, and my favorite, my favorite Elon fact is it was this video about every time I say him, I'm just going to flip off. As you should. Every, that video where he was, like, finally in charge of Tesla and he's like, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to make a wonderful business decision.

I'm going to create a tank that you cannot destroy him. Okay. And so there's this awesome video of him. at like a car show and he hands this hammer to this guy and it's like I'm serious like you can't You cannot you can't destroy this tank and the guy hits the hammer on the glass But he just like taps it because he's afraid to hurt the tank and he's like no I'm serious Hit it really go like put your back into it is what he says and this dude winds up and he hits this tank And all the glass break all windows they all just shatters

And he's in front of an audience and you just hear him go, well, that's not supposed to happen. We'll work on that. He's like, cut the cameras. Cut the cameras. What a humiliating. He hits him and then he goes, why would you do that? Why would you hit it that hard?

He starts gaslighting him. Why would you get that hard? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said, who here said to hit that as hard as you could? Who gave you a hammer? Where'd you even get that? You come in with that. Security, get him out of here.

Guys, that wasn't the real tank. Sorry about that. Love you, Elon. It's just. I don't. It's just like that, I don't know if you've ever seen that clip of, do you know, Ray J? Mm-hmm. There's like a clip of him on a show of some kind.

And he comes out with like, I think they're like glasses that can convert. I think they're like reading glasses, but they're also like cool stylish glasses. And then he's like, they're unbreakable. And then the host is like, I'm feeling it right now and I feel like I could break them. And he's like, go ahead, try. He's like, put it on the ground, stop on it. He goes, I'm not going to do that. goes, because you know.

And then he was like, you really want me to try and break him? He goes, yeah. And then he just snaps them in half easily with very little force. And then he's just staring, they're just staring at each other. I know exactly what video you're talking about. And I'm starting to realize in this moment that it's my favorite genre of video. It's just some men being wrong. Men being wrong.

This is unbreakable. It is the most rock-hard thing that you've ever felt. like certainly it's okay I like how they don't they're also not like quick enough to like make up a lie and be like that was a test in you failed

now try the real ones like they can't even think that fast somehow they're bad they're like the most toxic of users and they're bad at it yeah it's just like when I tell people like when sometimes because men obviously my job is literally terrorizing them on the internet

and sometimes they'll be so violent racist towards me, obviously, because they're bigoted and they kiss their mom on the mouth. And then they'll tell me, like, they'll be so racist towards me, but they pick the wrong race. And then I'm like, you can't even be bigoted correctly. Like, that's not the right race. You would never make it in the clan. You would have less a day in the clan. They would kick you out so fast. They'd revoke your membership card easily. Oh, I think that's a new one for me. You would never make it.

they'd be ashamed to have you they really would they would no way they would let you know sometimes oh fuck what else did I see recently oh okay I remember someone told me something

absolutely unbelievable about a man that I despise right and I can't say who it was but like I truly was like oh my God when she told me this news and it was just about this horrible dude and she told me she told me that he

paid a woman $1,700 to see her boobs No No when you hear that you're like That's unbelievable That's truly it Did he have $1,700?

No, he didn't He took it out on a credit card Just to see her boots Just not to touch To see And then I said in person And she goes, no, a picture Girl

Girl, I told her girl The way that I think men are so fucking dumb. Like, she told me that I was like, girl, men are so stupid. I, I, that's genuinely hitting me in, like, the most, like, cringe area of my body. Like, I feel sick to my...

Men are so fucking dumb. Like, you're so stupid. Also, the phrase, like, to see your boobs. You know, you can just Google boobs and, like, you don't, it doesn't have to cost you a dollar. But then the kink for him must be, like, having no money and using the last of his funds to see boobs.

Like, that's the, the whole kink has to be it, because boobs are so readily. If anything, it's camp. Wow. I con it. It's camp at that point. I just want to let the audience know that we had to take a break because the producers came in and said, you're bashing men too much.

And now you have to name five things. They're pointing one at me. It's a small gun. It's a pathetically small gun and I'm not afraid to die. So jokes on you. I have no fear of death, that for sure. Yeah, what were we saying? Oh, men are stupid, yeah.

Yeah, we were talking about your friend, boobs. We were really talking about boobs. We were really talking about boobs. Can you imagine going like ballooning and payments on your credit card because you paid to see boobs? That's crazy. No, I can't. Can you imagine telling the IRS that? Sorry.

Yo. Had a rough night. But you had to tell your mom. You're like, mom, I need more cash. Don't understand. She's beautiful. I just want to see. Your brus.

God damn. That's crazy. Unbelievable, really. I even, like, one time I explained, I don't know why I was, like, telling my, why was I telling my in-laws this? I was, like, telling them about how, like, girls make money, like, selling, even, like, fee picks. Like, they'll sell, like, feet pictures. God bless. And they were, like, blown away.

They were like, really? That's crazy. I'm like, yeah, and they make a lot of money. Like, they'll make, like, six figures off that. Truly, literally. And I was like, they were like, why, though? Like, why do people want to see that? And I was like, by people, I think you mean men, majority.

And it's because they're dumb. I do think they're dumb. I think that they're not, I think I have a fascination with men's attitude towards sex because they act like it's so hard to get. And I'm like, no, dog, I'd be doing it all the time. It's actually quite easy when you're not awful. So easy. It's actually quite easy.

But I think what they're really not addressing is like their bad personalities and personal hygiene. Like, no one will fuck me. And I'm like, no, people, people want to fuck all the time because it feels nice. Yeah. People don't want to fuck you because you're mean. They don't want to fuck you. It's not that they don't want to fuck. They just don't want to fuck you.

And that's a you problem once again. I think too, like, even with, uh, I talked about that with Caleb, like, because Caleb was like, actually, like, if you just like, I don't know, like, have like a favorite artist or something. It's pretty easy to talk to women and then hopefully get late at some point, right? Oh, beautiful. Yeah. Like, it's pretty.

if you like listen to them and you're nice. You have to like women in order to have sex with them. Yeah. And I do think that we're having, I think we're in this like really clear cultural moment where we're finding out that men don't like women. Truly, actually though. Like they're attracted to them. They just don't like them.

Yeah. As people. Yes. As like autonomous humans. Yeah. They're like, oh, they're pretty. And then they're mad about it. And then they start doing this.

And I just, that didn't say. seem like part of the package when I saw it online. But that's, you know, that's the real, that's the real, like, kind of funny thing about entitlement is, like, you know, raising these boys to believe that they won't inherit the earth. Like, what they didn't do is inherit any skills or listening ability. And so everybody else, like, limited and queer people. All of us had to, like, we grew up being like, you're not going to get anything. And we were like, okay, well, I guess I'll learn to read.

And then we can go on dates. I guess I'll get funny. Yeah, I'll be funny. I'll develop my skills and then we go on dates and we're like, what skills did you develop to survive? And then we go home and we fuck each other. And guys, they go on dates with you and they're like, I guess like here you are.

This is pretty much it. This is pretty much it. You're welcome, by the way. Yeah. Okay, we're going to switch gears really quick so I could tell ER about my horrible experience. That's something I cannot relate to y'all. Yes.

It was an event. basically I went and I was like feeling myself I was feeling good feeling cute feeling fresh fell twice oh the first time I fell I've never fallen at anything I was I've worn harder to wear heels I've worn higher heels I just I don't know what happened plus I was wearing a wig so like the first time I fell this is like tea right the first time I fell I fell in front of a man that I don't like personally who is someone in the industry I don't like him because he was extremely rude to me the first time I met him and he was just pissed off because I didn't know who he was.

Oh yeah, I love that. Which is so funny to me because like look at me. Like do I look like the bitch that's in your demographic? I doubt it. I don't know a single man's name. Do any of the bitches who like you look like me? I doubt it. So like I don't know why you're shocked.

I don't know what the fuck your name is. Anyways. So he and I like with the first time we met, he was so rude to me. This was like a year ago. And I made a mean ass joke back, which roused the course. crowd made him hate me more.

Lovely. Don't give a fuck. But he's also afraid of me so he's never going to talk about me. So I'm like, all right, see ya. See you. Then fast word. I ate shit in front of him. He looked at me. He looked at me fall. Didn't offer to help. Looked away. And then I thought to myself, you kind of ate me up.

You kind of got me. Hey, you know what? One-one on the scoreboard. Jokes on me. You got me. Listen. He got his lick back. I'm okay admitting it. That's hilarious. I know every moment in my life where I've had a, okay. Yeah, like a weird rude encounter. One on one.

Like, it's one to one because there are so few instances where I've lost. Exactly. Where someone's been rude and I haven't been able to like top it with like a funny joke. And so every single one that I've missed where I've been like, you got me. I like diary about it on my arms. I've never, I punish myself. I got caught slipping. I'm never going to get caught again.

I'll promise you that. I took one of these home. I think too, like when he did that, and I saw it, and I got up, and I was like, no, it's sick, love. I love when men do shit like that, I love that. I got up.

I was telling my sister was with me, and I was telling, I was like, he kind of ate me up. He kind of got me. You know what? That was funny. But now you like it? I said, yeah, I was like,

maybe we have a lot more in common than I thought. You feel closer to him now. We found common ground. And I even remember the young, like next time we meet, maybe we'll be friends. Maybe we'll develop a relationship. It's real. I, when I was a teenager, I got in a fist fight with this girl. Really?

And we were like, truly so evenly matched that at one point we were like, we stopped mid-ass kicking and we became really close. And you're like, you can't be up a little bit. A hundred percent. We were like, I guess this would go on forever. Do you just want to get really close? You're like, I'm exhausted. I'm going to be honest. Yeah.

And then I came out. And then you said all the pieces came together. Yeah, we're beating each other's ass and then like kind of fall in love. Enemies to lovers arc. You're all, this is something I need to confront. I'll be back. Let's put a pin in this fight and I'll come back. Then maybe we'll feel differently after.

Thank you for teaching me. We confront some things. Yeah, 100%. Was that like, were you young? Oh, you were in high school? You said you're in high school. This was actually, this was a middle school fight. Oh shit.

And at like a summer camp and we got in this fight and then became really close. And then shortly after I started dating my first girl. Nice. And that was, you know. Your first girl. First girl. First kill. First kill.

Also least favorite phrase, body count. I've been listening to that phrase recently and I just want to tell the children that's sick. It is. Y'all are fucked up. We would just say your number, like the number of people you slept with. Body count. What the hell are y'all talking about? What are y'all doing to each other that you're calling it a body count?

Literally. Cut it the fuck out. Enough. God damn it. I'm sick of this. That's the straight agenda. The heterosexual agenda. The heterosexual agenda is body count.

It is. It's awful. The way that, especially like, every man that spawns out of a sewage drain starts a podcast and then ghost bald simultaneously, I don't know if it's a coincidence. It's science. God. I don't know what it is. And when they do it, they talk about body count all the time.

and they're like, oh, well, you know, if she is a high body count and she, it's like that bullshit-ass metaphor they always use. They're like, well, you wouldn't buy a car with a lot of miles on it. And I was like, and I wouldn't come to your house and kill you with a gun, but see, like, now we're just talking what ifs. Like, we're talking hypotheticals. I might do both. I love vintage vehicles and I'm very violent.

And I'm also homicidal. Yeah. Yeah. At times, yes. Yeah. I think too, like that kind of behavior. I will always like if you have to like make up metaphors about inanimate objects in order to prove why you're involuntarily celibate, I think that you have a bigger problem. I heard the best one today. I heard the best one. It was so sloppy. It was like, you know, that like male philosopher vibe. And it was this guy being like, well, how do you feel about when people say, and it's saying this to a woman? Because she's talking about, he's asked her about her body count. And he's like, well, what about how if a

key fits in many locks. You call it a master key. Yeah. But if a lot fits any key, it's called a shitty lock. And I was like, yo, y'all are so dumb. I believe climate change is happening to kill off specifically men. That's your greatest conspiracy. And I'm sorry, but like, sperm count. is down, I think that God is starting the climate change at the nutsack. It's straight up. And he's starting with y'all. Yeah. He's starting.

He's starting. He's starting with y'all. He heard y'all say that thing about like a master key versus a shitty lock. And he's like, he said, fast forward it. Move it up 100 years. Zap those tadpoles. I'm killing it off now. I'm just coming to the source.

Yeah. That's so, yeah, that key and lock bullshit as I made a video about that once. And I was like, well, you know who has a lot of keys? A janitor. And that's what you are. Cleaning up my shit, bitch. That's what you are. I'm sorry.

I love to janitors. Love y'all. If a woman is having sex all the time, it's probably because she's good at it and she enjoys it, which I think is actually the thing that they don't like about it. Period. They don't want. It involves consent. That's what they don't like about that.

They're not big fan. She likes sex when she's not going to be impressed by me. They have to find virgins because they're like, oh, when I smash this thing into her, she might not be impressed. You know what I mean? Based off previous history. I don't really got a great track record. Which is, like, I think, kind of the opposite in gay world.

We, like, love it when you've had multiple partners because we're like, oh, you know how to love. Yeah, truly. You know, I just saw two girls. They have, like, their own podcast. And they were talking about this fallacy of body count, whatever, especially when it comes to men, I'm talking about women. And they were saying that they think when men have a lot of sexual partners, it means that they're not good in bed. Yes. because no one comes back.

Like you have no repeat at all because they're like, that was the worst two minutes of my life. I'm never doing that again. Whereas when women have a lot of sexual partners, it means she's really good in bed because she's like got a bunch of dudes lining up, right? You want to experience it. And she's saying next.

Yeah. She gets to decide, especially according to their rhetoric, it's like, well, women, like, it's a lot harder for men to have sex because women get to decide. I'm like, yeah, because you guys would fuck a hole in a tree. Let's not my fault.

And listen, if I had a penis, I'd probably try to fuck a tree too. Trees are hot. And let's talk about it. Whoa. Like, I've been around a lot of trees recently that I'm like. But I can't because I'm not going to lick bark, you know what I'm saying. But, you know, eight to 12 inches, which is how big my spiritual dick is, away from the tree, coming closer to it over and over again, I'll do that. There you go.

Lick bark, no. We'll see. more people would be honest like yourself. And by people, I mean men. Yeah, I have my mom tuned in for this. My mom's like constantly trying to figure out, I think, what's happening for gay sex, and I'm just going to be like, it's actually just free fucking.

She just, she want to be on a newsletter? Yes. If there was one, oh. She'd be signed up, subscribed. Nice. I love it, with the New York Times subscription. Yes, absolutely. But it's just a newsletter.

Edit the shit out of that. You should pen it. You should start it. You should. I support you. On what? The notes app? What are we writing on now? This time on notes up, yeah. But you say you have to have to have notes, though, in order to get it. Oh, paying for everything now.

Okay. Let's get back on topic. Okay, we didn't even go over our topic. Our topic for today is non-binary representation in media, because obviously ER is non-binary in someone who is trailblazing in the world of media. When did you come out as non-binary? Probably around 2017. And, you know, there are so many people that have been non-binary before me, and there are going to be so many after me. And I think the thing that made it special right around that time is actually that it was not that this thing had not existed.

It was that I happened to be on TV when the conversation was really starting in a large way kind of across the general public. for the first time. You know what I mean? Like in feminist circles, women and gender studies, in that talk about the two spirit. You know what I mean? A lot of people have been having this conversation. I just happened to be on TV. Yeah. And so I was really lucky in that way to be able to become like a person that people could point to as an example of what they were talking about when this conversation was getting started. Yeah. Have you seen, like especially when you were on TV and obviously you're like extremely representative of a very underrepresented

group, especially in the world of entertainment. It's like unheard of really. Did you feel like any sort of pressure because you're like kind of like braving it alone for a little bit as far as like in the public eye in mainstream media? Or did you feel like almost like I don't know, I guess I honored to carry the torch in that sense.

Both. Yeah. Like I think that you do, carrying the torch is pressure. Like you think about those poor motherfuckers at the Olympics that are like actually carrying the torch. I know people are like, what an honor. I'm like, what a nightmare. Like, you wouldn't be running the whole time in like, the anxiety. If you trip, if that flame goes out, like literally the whole world is watching and you're like, oh. Like, actually. Like, sorry, guys, it's my first day. I feel that way all the time about queer stuff. I just happen to also really love it.

Like I love talking about being queer. I love queer studies. I love being a feminist. Like I love all these things. And so it was a lot of the literature that I was consuming anyway was helping me be on, helping me get the footing to be able to have those conversations. It's always scary when you become a representative because you're also like constantly trying to talk to the audience about like we're not a monolith and like especially trans and

non-binary people. Like we all look very, very different and have different relationships. with our gender, but it does make you, when you become like an activist or like a mouthpiece for your community, you have to be really careful to make sure that you're being as inclusive as possible. Yeah. And also, you know, you can look at different non-binary representatives and each one of us are doing something different for our community.

And so some of us are being like, this is the really heady conversation or this is the most general conversation. I've really tried to have a conversation about like joy. Yeah. And which is like really important especially now. Yes. Yeah. And and frankly, using like white privilege and skinny privilege to have a conversation about being non-binary in spaces where like brown people might not be invited. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or now we're having a conversation about non-binary people who are also plus size like uh-uh, not going to be invited into that space. And so I'm warming my way. in and being like a representative in those spaces where other people might not be allowed and trying to to broaden the public's understanding.

Yeah. So that my community can have an easier time. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so wonderful and also important, especially when you talk about leveraging privilege in order to like keep the door open because it's hard enough as it is to get in. But you add more intersections, right, in which you sit oppressed and then it gets even harder to get through the door. Yes. And so I think, I guess like my other question would be, do you feel, do you feel like the tides have shifted at all because of the exposure? Do you think in a somewhat positive way? I know it's also very awful because there's a lot of, and I've talked about this on the show before, but there's like a lot of like anti-trans legislation going on right now and like transgenocide. And there's a lot of erasure, especially when it comes to the trans community as a whole and non-binary people as a whole. So do you think that it's moving positively at least a little bit, even if it's.

it feels like it's like one step forward, two steps back? The answer is that we can see movements like this throughout time to varying degrees of like horrificness, right? So like if you look at slavery right after slavery is not beautiful emancipation, it's emancipation plus the Jim Crow era. Yeah. You know what I mean? And you have the 70s movement where we like pass the ERA.

go straight into the 80s, which is like a seriously neoliberal, like, toxicly capitalist time where women are kind of sent back into the home in this awful way after being told that they were going to be entering the workforce. Like after every movement gains, after every like group of oppressed people gets a freedom or a liberty or even a bit of confidence, which I think is what you were seeing with transness. Yeah. There is a backlash to it. Yeah. And they, the, they're obsessed with us. Like these people that hate trans people, they're obsessed. They're obsessed. with us and they're only obsessed with us because when you're at the top of the pyramid, which we understand there doesn't need to be a pyramid, but they're at the top of it,

they're constantly having to kick people down to make sure that they stay on the point. And so they're watching trans people be like, you know what, I'm feeling okay about myself. I love my community and I actually don't even need to be on the pyramid. And so instead of even having to kick trans people down, they're flailing. Because we're like, no, no, no, we don't want to, we don't want to, we don't. don't want the fucking pyramid. We don't want it. We want to have our own communities.

I want to be left alone. Yeah. Actually, I want to be left the fuck alone. And the thing that actually destroys a white supremacist, patriarchal, capitalist pyramid is when we say, I don't care about you. Yeah. I want to be left alone.

It's the same conversation about entitlement and narcissism that we're starting to have. Of like, the way that you heard a narcissist is by not giving them energy at all. Yep. I love my community. I can't, I like legitimately am grateful every day I was not born straight. Like, I love it. I love it here. Which is fair. Yeah. That is so fair. Especially now. It's, I mean, talking about these conversations with men, like I, we're legitimately getting to a point where I think women are starting to see like that like, cis at women that love men. I, queer people are like, we're praying for you, girl. Setting good vibes.

Yeah, because men are getting so much more violent right now in a really pushbacky way. Women are starting to love themselves. We've had this body positivity movement. We've had the BLM movement. We've had this trans empowerment movement. And men are responding with violence. Like we're having more shootings than ever. These acts of domestic terrorism are increasing.

And so while it's violent now, it's violent because we are making progress. That's such a great point. I never thought of it that way. You're so right. It's like the pushback is so real. It's like they like this idea of like cat and mouse and then when you just remove yourself entirely from it. Yeah. They feel powerless, which is the whole point. And I think even with my, my platform specifically, like obviously like I fuck up terrible dudes all the time willingly and happily and voluntarily at the same time though. I feel like for a while, especially in the beginning, there was this conversation that was almost being had every three to six. months where like a new white dude would find me and be like, she's just so mean. Oh my God, I think she's just the meanest person alive. I am very fucking mean. Probably the meanest person they'll ever come across. And I've never lied about that. I've always been very upfront about

that. I'm like, I'm a fucking, I'm a cunt and I will be one if I need to be. And so it's not something I'm proud of. It's like something I use for good. That's how I see it. I have the ability to be really fucking mean. And I only do it to mean and awful people. So and I feel like what they hate the most. And I had this conversation even on my TikTok recently where they want to talk about looks like they want to call you fat and ugly they'll say that to the prettiest skinniest bitch in the world like they don't care they're going to say it no matter what because it's a power play it's a way for them to feel power and like they're exerting something over you and I've told my followers before like when you remove yourself from the male gaze and you remove male validation from your brain and

you like realize that validation doesn't need to come from anyone but me anyone but me and people in my immediate circle that I love and care about are the only people whose opinions should matter to me, but mine should be at the very top. So when you take that power from them, they have like nowhere to go. Like you say, they call you ugly and you're like, okay? Yeah. To you. And I also think you're ugly. You can't say that to me. Like when they call me fat and ugly, like they'll say the worst things about my looks and I'm like, okay. And you look like you work, like you sell turf in a Sam's Club. And that's my fault. You're mad at me? Why is that my And they're like, see, that's fucked up. You shouldn't say that to me.

Because they're just so not used to women not giving a shit if they don't find you attractive, like anyone at all. And they're used to, this is like, I named my EP that's coming out of violence because I've had this like obsession recently with violence. And I think part of it was, you know, reading all this, these books about queerness and about different forms of community and communism and communalism. And basically thinking about this myth of pacifism. Yeah.

And that we as women and queer people and trans people are supposed to, and the black community and people of color, like truly all of these marginalized communities are supposed to take violence from the middle in stride. We are supposed to take it and keep going. And we are supposed to be quote unquote better than them. Yeah. With grace and patience always. And the answer for me now is no. Actually, I don't. Yeah, I'm reorienting myself towards violence.

And it might not look the same as their violence. Like, I actually don't feel violence. My form of violence is not othering people. It's not kicking people out of the club. It's that I have a community I love. And I'm going to take care of it. By all means necessary. and I will not watch violence happen to my community and not respond without violence.

I do not feel like a pacifist. And I don't want to be one at all. I don't want to be one. And that's okay. You make the comment of like, you know, and I'm the municipal. We both were like trained in this way to, I think, make those comments. Yeah. And Caleb Huren would probably joke about himself in the same way, Caleb Huren, who I was just listening to y'all's episode.

but the fact is you're a very obviously joyful person, which is why people tune in. And the way that you're being mean is satire. It's like we literally. It's all satire. We live in a massive patriarchal system. And so it's, I have men in my life that I love. Uh.

Same. And it's, we have been hearing for so long that queer people are disgusting and trans people deserve to die and women should be sexually assaulted if they don't behave. Yeah. And so we make jokes about sperm count decreasing. And men respond with, you should die. Like, no, I'm sorry, it is different. We're punching up still.

That's what I've always told them. And I've even told, I even told someone too once that, like, they, well, first of all, you react to my reaction as opposed to reacting to the bigotry first. That's your first knee-jerk thing is to react to me and not to someone who antagonized me. So that's one, right? two, my looks play a factor, like me not being thin and white, plays a huge factor, which I've talked about, but talking about race makes them go like, like, they start sputtering and they don't know what to say. Not this again.

Oh, every time. Like, they just, like, because it's true and it is applicable in every situation. But a slur is in their handle. And they're like, that's different. That's a joke. And I even think, too, like, I told someone the fact that you think that I should, like, you feel entitled to a calm and like reasonable and level-headed response to your active bigotry is like the problem.

You feel entitled to it, even no matter how awful you are. Yes. To any marginalized person with no provocation and for no fucking reason. You feel entitled to their patience and their kindness because that is what you've always been afforded your entire life. Like I've talked about how they hate me so much because my platform is the one table they don't have a seat at and you don't get to defend yourself. I'm not going to let you defend yourself. It's a dictatorship in mind. It's a literal dictatorship. Like if I, I get to

decide the media that is consumed on mine. I get to tell my loyal subjects what is good and what is bad and they're smart enough to know the difference. Yeah. So that's why I'm like, that's why I have a platform, right? And you still live with your mom. That's why that happens because you are awful. and I am actually like saying something. I'm like, just because I tell people to suck my wiener doesn't mean that I'm not smart enough to have a conversation about intersectionality. Bitch, if you don't recognize that the term weiner is satire,

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the euphoria elixir collection by Calvin Klein. One time I was talking about, um, I saw something on Twitter, which like, that app is absolute dumpster fire, but... Dead, dead, dead. I saw someone being fatphobic, as they typically are on there, like, just the world's worst men in the world, like, convened there. Oh, interesting. I thought there's all the world's best people. At Twitter, they had Twitter HQ. That's where they convene. And I saw this guy just, they just rip videos from other platforms. And it's like, it's literally just normal women going through the workday and eating.

But they're fat women are plus-sized women. And they're like, this is disgusting. And it's just a bunch of, like, horrible pussyless losers. just all like being like, disgusting, disgusting, I hate it. And I was talking about, like, I was like, the people in the responses to this deserve nothing in this life.

Like, truly, like, you will wander through life aimless and without fulfillment for the rest of your lives because the universe is going to withhold that from an awful fucking person like yourself. And someone tried to talk to me about like, oh, it's processed foods, like blah, blah, blah. I'm like, the way all of you get an MD,

the minute you see a fat person living is crazy. It's processed foods. You see a snack online in their, like, well, clearly they have all these different ailments that I wouldn't know because I didn't even graduate from high school. Listen to me when I say this. Men's obsession with women's eating, it takes y'all famously 45 minutes to shit. Who's eating better? Okay?

Who am I taking health tips from? Even when I say them, when they try to comment on my body, I'm like, well, send me a picture of your shirtless body. I need to know the physique. I need to see it. I want to know who's giving me the tips. I will pay you $1,700 to see your boobs. Let me see them. I'll send you the money.

And I can't promise I won't rank. I can't make that promise to you. And I even talk to someone like they literally were like, it's all processed foods like blah, blah, blah. And I even said in my thing, I'm like, do y'all want to have a conversation about why some people can only have access to processed foods? Do you guys really, do you guys want to talk about redlining?

Do you guys want to have that conversation? Oh, here comes. Or does the conversation only begin and end with fat phobia? We were just having fun. Then they're like, ah, you take things so seriously. It was a joke. A joke. The way that they've weaponized, it was just a joke.

And yet none of it is funny at all. Yeah, who's laughing? No one's laughing. And that's why y'all aren't comedians. That's why you don't have jobs. I literally, I went to dinner with Caleb and he had said we were talking about that. how men like truly, they'll make one fat joke and they're like, I should quit my job. I should move to L.A.

Move over Laugh Factory. I'm moving in. Girl, I'm going to go workshop in Type 5 at the Laugh Factory tomorrow. Bring your best fat jokes. My favorite, when I was like 18 or 19, I was like starting in Chicago and I was like going to see stand up to see if it was something I wanted to do. And I went to this open mic and it was this guy was up there and it was me and another person and we were the only not male people in this space.

And he immediately was like, oh, we got two ladies here. And we were like, okay, like, nervous. Yeah. Uh-oh. And then his set truly started with like, I hate my girlfriend. I wish she was there. If I could kill her. And we were like, okay, well, we should head out.

And so we stood up to leave. And mind you, he'd just been like, hey, beautiful girlies, girlies, ladies. girls and so we stood up to leave and he was like fuck you bitch and he started screaming we didn't know this man we had not interacted at all outside of him being on stage and the switch was so fast that it was on a dime and at that time i thought i was bisexual and so i actually came on this podcast to thank him trixie and katia call that by now gay later yes and that was me but i was converted Like I did straight up gay conversion therapy and it was me just trying to be by Really me going into the world and being like I feel like if I have sex with some more men

Maybe it will make my mom realize how hard I tried to be straight And then every time I would do it I'd be like so sad Oh like You're like clocking in You're like time to get in there Truly clocking in or the times I was like this was fun I realized it was because I was having an experience instead of being like, my body's beautiful.

You're just looking at yourself the whole time. And that's so real. Yeah, I am so roving right now. You're like, and then I check in. You're like, oh, 100%. Then checking him and me like, shut. You're like, I honestly forgot you were here. Yes.

Now I'm bummed out. Yeah, I feel. The vibe's been killed now. When I did, when I was having sex, and then I feel the same way about my body that I do when I have my period, which is like most of the time I feel very generalist. And then when I'm on my period,

I have full ass and the most beautiful woman on earth. Like the hormones truly take over my body and my like tits get massive and I'm walking around and I'm like kind of glowing and I'm like maybe I should get pregnant And then my period stops and I'm like ugh these bags of sand It's a full hormonal non-binary experience and you're like I don't know that person at all actually I kind of lost my nut a little bit I hate her sorry guys sorry y'all that was a mistake I was talking that was on me but the titties was not We liked it, but I was temporarily not myself. Yeah, I was somebody else for a minute.

Sorry about that. Yeah, that's my DUI. It's like Jim Carrey in the Mask. Yeah. Just put it on, turn it to a different person. That is me. You're like, I relate to him a lot. Yeah, actually.

Jim Carrying in the Mask is the trans experience. That's how I get canceled. God. They're waiting in the wings. I think the experience with like, That's so real if you're like, I look so good. Especially with men, I think, too. It's like, I've talked about before how like men, when men are like, oh, I'm not

attracted to you. I'm like, sure, buddy. That's why you've commented on my last 10 photos. Like, I do that to people I think are ugly. I for sure do. People that I find disgusting, I follow them on everything. A hundred percent. That's what I do personally.

When in reality, we don't even know that they exist. Like, when I don't find you attractive and I go to your program. because I'm trying to see who was calling me like a faggot. I like go to the thing and it's it's like just the American flag and then you've got three photos of you sitting on the back of your truck and once I see who you are. I never think about you ever again for the rest of my life or yours. You become so dead to me. No one's been more dead than you folks to me.

And when I go to your profile and I see that it's just some woman with like a cross, that's like, be kind, stay blessed, and you have just told me to go kill myself, I never think about you ever again. Nobody's less important to anyone than y'all are to me. I couldn't pick you out of the lineup, to be honest with you. Line them up, they all look the same. It's like paper dolls, like when you cut them and then you just open them, they're all exactly the same. Especially men who hate me. Like, it's, I had a guy literally like two days ago. He wrote on a picture of a picture of my boyfriend, like, who's like an avid and active, like, intersectional feminist. It's, like, very obvious.

I mean, obviously, he's with me and lucky him, but if he was the worst, he wouldn't be with me, right? The only man we love. Truly, literally. And we were, he had posted, like, it was a brand deal. And so with our favorite, one of our favorite companies changed, who I did, like, clothing with. And they're so wonderful because they're, like, me just doing an ad for them.

But they're just, like, set their size inclusive and genderless clothing, which, we love and stand and it's sustainable too which is awesome so they have this shirt that we did brand deals for and it says like respecting only respecting women you're attracted to is not respecting women yeah is what it says on the shirt and so my boyfriend posted pictures in it and obviously he loves the shirt we both love like we both advertise the same article of clothing and this guy literally commented on the picture and was talking shit on me like basically saying like I I I call people ugly, so that shirt is like hypocritical. And I'm like, it says respect.

I don't respect you. That's the part you're missing. I have no respect for men who are, who hate women for no fucking, I don't respect them at all. So I'm allowed to call them ugly by the rules, like by the rules that you're laying out. I find them ugly, yes. And I said, I've said misogynists are ugly and that includes you. That's like all I wrote back to him.

And you're proving my point once again, add another point to the board. I love that. I think that's so true. I think most of the time when I'm thinking about appearance, I actually have a really serious filter in my brain where if you're a good person, I will genuinely be like, they're the hottest person that ever lived. And the minute that you're a bully, I'll like look at your page. I don't give a shit. Discuss. You are, disgust. Disgust and disdain and just everything about you gives me the ick. And it's actually, it actually feels physical to me where people will be like, oh, I know he did that thing, but he's so hot and I legitimately cannot see it. Me either. I can't see it. It's gone. It's gone. It's literally gone. But it's so unimportant. But we are in an industry where people are beautiful. So like, you know what I mean? And that is a benefit to, that's like a benefit to your job. It's being an attractive person and so. And so it really loses its effect. I'm not out here being like wowed. by like other celebrities that I'm working with. I'm like, wowed when someone is really kind and talks to the PAs. Especially in this industry.

Yes. And it is like, is off book. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, wow, what a stunningly gorgeous person. No, actually. And that's because you see people as humans. You don't see them as like things. And that's the difference.

Like men see women as objects and with no autonomy or brain or thoughts or feelings, which is why they're like this one's ugly, this one's not. But it also, at the same time, they're so fickle with that ideology too, because I don't know if you saw recently, but like I guess on Twitter there was like this trend going around where they were calling Margo Robbie and Zendaya ugly. And I said, you've all gone insane. The world is truly ending. What the fuck are you talking?

Like respectfully, what the fuck are you talking about? And I talked about it in a video because I'm like, these men like, like, I just like, respectfully or disrespectfully, I don't give a fuck how you take it. Look in the mirror. They look like dog treats, bro. Just be honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself. Like, if you were in front, like, let's just say

Margot Robbie lost her mind for a second and was like, you, I want you to come to my house and kiss me on the lips. You're telling me that you'd be like, you're ugly. No. You're a fucking liar. Like, you're the same guy who would pay $1,700 to see a picture of boobs. I don't believe you. I think you're a liar.

I think that men feel. the same way about women that I feel about an Alexa, where they're like, they are looking at this thing as an object. So when it has thoughts and feelings, they're like, shut up. And when I want to turn on a radio and it's like, what do you want to listen to? I'm like, bitch. Don't start with me today. I did not come here for a conversation.

I need a speaker. You have one job and you're not even doing that. No, no. You're not even doing that. And I even told, that's why I said, like, male validation is fucking worthless. It's so worthless. It's so fickle. It's not real.

It's not based in anything. And I was like, because it just, it doesn't mean anything. Like, they're going to look at Zendan and be like, ugly. Girl. And then the only pictures they could use of her were pictures where she's playing someone going through active addiction on euphoria. And they're like, well, look. Oh, and I'm sorry.

But like. And even then, she has no makeup on her face and she's gorgeous. It's one of the hotter things I've ever seen her do was before it because you realize like just how like bare bones like she has to be to be that gorgeous. No, truly. And was like the so queer chic like beautiful fucking like under eye lines and like all this like oh my God and the big hair and the baggy clothing. I like that was for me. I don't know what the fuck y'all are talking about. That was moving.

That was moving because I'm also getting. to the age where like I you know that like that like Tom Holland is coming up and you know he's he's like this like sex icon for yeah I guess like teens and stuff and I'm like but no he's a teen and then I look it up and he's like 22 and I'm like what you're oh he's literally a child yeah so then so I it's it's a really funny thing with Sunday where I just wasn't paying attention to her at all because she was younger and I hadn't grown up watching her on like Disney Channel yeah same and then saw her on I was like, this is our next queer icon. Literally.

Had no idea. Had no idea that this was like the most famous person on earth. Yeah. Known for her beauty. Yeah. Well, and I think too, like part of the allure to someone like Tom Holland is how he is with her. That's like a huge portion of like what what women find attractive about him. And that's the true T, isn't it?

Because he's like, he's not ugly by any means. but she is like a show-stoppingly beautiful. Like she is just like truly like you couldn't find a face like that. Like she's gorgeous, like so incredibly unique in the way she looks. And he is just like... In love with her. And it's the hottest thing ever. And he's a white British guy.

Like he's like a run-of-the-mill white dude, right? Absolutely. Which is not shade. I'm being serious. Like he's just like he's a good looking white man. Yes. And she's like a jaw-dropping one of a kind face and talent. And that's why you're like, people are like,

oh my god he's so sexy and it's literally because he is nice to her yeah and he respects her and loves her and doesn't stand on like an apple box on the red carpet next to her like let's her wear heels let's her but like has you know she wears heels doesn't care if she does and he's like looking up at her in all these photos and I'm like I'd fuck that little guy listen absolutely I said on that man that's that's what people find attractive and that's it goes back to what we said at the very beginning, which is like it's actually quite easy. If you're a man who is attracted to women, it's quite easy to catch their fancy as long as you're nice. But that's too big of an ask for a lot of y'all. And that's why you act that way. If you take out sex, if you take out like male and female

and you have a conversation about gender that's not like focused on American culturalism. So it's not about masculinity being dominating and femininity being like small and helpless and killable. the the real conversation that you can start to have is that masculinity is this beautiful sweet joyful little ball of chaos that we love right like like i i find that that is like how my masculinity shows itself in the playful side of things and in the reverse of that femininity over here is this big wide beautiful powerful calm Yeah. And so if you look at masculinity and femininity and why they pair so well together is masculinity really entertains femininity because it's so calm and beautiful and big. And here's this small, chaotic, joyful little thing. And then in real life, oftentimes a mask person or a male person tends to be bigger. Yeah. Right? So they're physically bigger. But what that can really acclate to is if I'm bigger than something, it's my job to protect it. Yeah. So I'm getting to serve this thing that is spiritually. larger than me, which is how I feel about women. I'm getting to, with my little joyful ball of chaos, I get to be, I'm bigger than my partner, and I get to spiritually, like, or physically foster her vastness.

Yeah. And I think that American men in particular think that masculinity is, I'm bigger than her, so I'm better than her. And I have to keep her in her place. Yeah. But because that means that they don't understand femininity, it means they can't fuck, and it means they can't love. Period.

And they're like, why am I alone? It's because you do not love femininity for exactly what it is, which is the biggest thing in the world. Yeah, that's so, wow. Look at you. So insightful. I think to go based off what you just said, that's another reason why I think my community that I've built online is obsessed with my boyfriend. Because I'm someone who's like large and loud physically and spiritually. Yeah.

And like, I'm someone who takes up a lot of space and, like, likes to be confident and assured in who I am and what I want in this life. And my boyfriend loves that about me. It's one of the reasons why he found love with me, which is so anti, like, man, according to their binary standards. He lets me be large and beautiful and take up space because that's something that drew him to me so he knows it's going to draw other people to me and what's more masculine than that no truly that's what i'm saying like he's he's attracted to it because he finds beauty and joy in it and he wants

other people to experience that too about me and that's me just gassing myself but that's him that's what he's telling me and he's told me like that's i made him want to be a better man i made him want to be a better person i made him want to try harder and be more loving and empathetic and open and that's all you can really ask of a partner, right? Like someone who makes you want to be a better person. So that's why I am like, binary aside, because gender's not real, it's literally a man-made construct. But if we were to operate within it, like, if you just give your partner the space to be who they really are, you'll like, you'll experience love and happiness too. I promise you will. You'll expand as well. You will. You'll become a better version of yourself. Like you'll level up and you'll be somebody who

went their whole life. Like I had a guy once to tell me like, if I had seen her five years ago, I would have hated her too. Like if I had seen her. Like it was like a cis straight white man. And he's like, but five years ago, like I was miserable and I was unhappy.

But he said he did a lot of the work. Like he really sat with himself and was like, why am I so unhappy? Like why am I so angry? Why am I so unhappy? And he did a lot of reading. And he read a lot about, you know, the different systemic oppression structures

that exists in our world. He read a lot about the patriarch. He read a lot about capitalism. He read about feminism, right? And just intersectionality in general. And he educated himself. And he realized that he was so unhappy because he was trying to fit into a box that didn't leave him any space to truly be who he wanted to be without fear of judgment or retaliation because men are violent. So he said once he came to terms with that and he did all this reading and he became a better person, And he, like, found a better life. Like, he found love and happiness and joy and fulfillment. And so he was, like, I'm grateful now that I existed in a, like, in a space where I could, like, confront that and be honest with myself and move forward and grow.

And he was saying how he compared me to the story of, like, a dog in a nail. And he was saying, like, every day you hear a dog sit on a nail and it yelps, but it never moves, right? It doesn't sit anywhere else. and when you ask, like, why does the dog keep sitting if it hurts? The answer is because it doesn't hurt enough yet, right? So he's like, someone like her needs to hurt people just enough for them to really think about, like, why do, why does she bother me so much? Like, why does that content hit me? Right?

Why does that make me feel some type of way? And you kind of confront your own internalized biases. Well, and in decentering himself, he finds community, right? Yeah, actually. You can't be in the middle of something and not feel isolated. Yeah. Once you become, once you start to really listen to and like gather other people around you in a respectful and beautiful way, you find that group that you're looking for. And then you're not as lonely. But if you were the center of the universe, what a lonely place to be. Truly. And you're the only person there. Yeah. And no one wants to be around you because you think you're the center of the fucking universe. Yeah. So speaking of community though and finding community. Yes. Let's talk about the community you found within music. What's going on with you in your music journey?

You know, I am so lucky right now. I've got a bunch of friends that are doing really well in the music space, and they are all queer. Period. Yes. I love that. And I met a lot of these people. I was doing Lucy Dakesh's music video for Night Shift. Love, love, love.

I love Lucy. I have an absolute icon. And Lucy had brought all of these people in for the video that she knew from other spaces. other, you know, sectors of her art world. And we all found each other. We met at this video and we all just became this little unit that now, like, we travel and we do vacations together. And we're in each other's music videos and we go to each other's premieres. And so, you know, I'll name some of the queer artists that are in that space, like Liza Ann.

My friend Liza Ann has just came out with their single cheerleader, which is this awesome non-binary anthem. and Beckham and Kari is coming out with music. A great album. Also, all these themes of being like a person of color and a non-binary person in this space. And you boy, genius is doing so iconically well right now. It's like it's so awesome to watch all these queer artists do well. And at the same time that this was happening,

I had been, I was writing and finalizing my album. Like I had recorded it all and was... Congratulations. Thank you. And now I'm in the... I've been spending on these last few, months like being in their music videos and like kind of amping them up and so it's I actually feel really like warm because I had a single called bad man come out last week and all of those same people

who I've been like you know really amped about their art are amped about mine and that's like the beauty of community is truly it's just so nice of like you can call it a fucking echo chamber if you want to but what it really is is like I love these people and their art and they love me and my art. And so we are, we're like making each other excited. Yeah, and affirming each other, like giving each other words of affirmation and support, like, costs nothing, really. And creating, no, it costs nothing. And to be in, to create this queer community. Like, I do think that that's one of the best things about having queer community is that we know that there's room for all of us. Yeah. It's not this like, only one shall live mentality. Yeah. And so, uh,

Yeah, I've been getting a lot of great feedback and a lot of great support from these folks about my album, Violence, that's coming out in October. Amazing. Like, truly, you know, we've been talking about violence. For me, the whole concept of the album was writing about, like, queer love and queer sex and depression and things like this, but completely decentering the center. And so we live in this, in this, like, in my art space, I'm in this, like, wonderfully queer Wild West. And these are all the themes that, like, I'm singing about and exploring. And the violence is that I don't care about what anybody else thinks about this world. Like, I'm not trying to make pop music for, like, straight men to get off to.

For them to be like, yeah. I'm trying to make queer music for queer people. and I love it when other people love it, but that's what it's for. Yeah, absolutely. That's like Caleb when he said, he came on the show, he told me that his art, right, obviously his is comedy, but he was saying my target audience is not you. Like, when straight men are so like, well, I hate this. Well, it's not for you.

That's okay. Yeah. You don't have to like, in fact, please don't. I'm okay with that. And that's not your target audience either. If they fall into it and they like it, great. That's great. And the good ones too.

what I'm aiming for. The good ones do. Exactly. You can see when you're on like a Spotify or something, you're like Spotify for artists. It shows you the demographics that's listening to your stuff. Yeah. Like y'all, I've got, it's like 90% women and then non-binary people and then it's men. Like men are full ass like, I know this isn't for me.

And women and queer people are so trained to consume art that's not tailored to them. Yep. But men aren't. And my, like the first song that I came out with is a song called Badman. And it is legitimately a song that talking to women being like, hey, there's masculinity over here and we won't hurt you. And men are like, I'm on over. I think I'm not going to listen to that one. I'm like, yeah, that's fine.

Well, I'm so incredibly excited for you. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Please, everyone go stream it. Y'all know already. You can find it on all streaming platforms, but especially Spotify. Yeah. And I think before we go really quick, what you said about community and how supportive and loving it is.

I saw Trixy Mattel do an interview recently where they were saying, what do you have to say about people who are like, you want my child to be gay? It's like the war on drag, which is really the war on trans people. And she said, I don't care if your child turns out to be gay or isn't. But what I do care about is if they do turn out to be gay, I hope they find community a lot faster than most of us did. And that's truly because people like her and you exist in the space where you're so visible that it gives people

like almost like not to be cheesy but it's almost like a lighthouse it gives them something to follow and to go towards as opposed to just wandering aimlessly because they have no representation representation is like one of the few things

that makes me emotional I'm kidding I'm feeling a weird tear coming on well it's important it's just I feel like people like you especially are so important to be in media in all different media spaces

because there are just so many people who have never had someone like you. And now that they do, they get to feel this kind of like, they get to feel what you feel with your community. They get to feel it too, whether it's just through the screen, right? And I also want to end on a silly note that a lot of people, I've said that my show is literally just the world's most famous lesbians, gay people and drag queens. And I'm okay with that. Well, I would say your representative, like, All Lighthouse for the Bad Bitsch community. Period. Let's do it. What were you saying earlier that Caleb had said to you is like gay adjacent.

Yeah, yeah, fruity adjacent. Fruity adjacent straight women, the biggest ballers on the planet. That's a bad. With the biggest balls on the planet. A hundred. The only nuts side sucks. Period. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

I adore you. Thank you for having me. You're amazing. Thank you all for tuning into this episode. Please make sure y'all go find and follow ER on literally everything. Where can everybody find you? You can find me on Instagram and anywhere else as genderless gap ad. And of course, on Spotify.

We love Spotify. As Fightmaster. Exactly. Thank you so much to ER. Thank you all for joining us this week. And don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every Wednesday. And they are exclusively on Spotify. Spotify.

I'll see you next week. Bye.