The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - YOU’RE PISSING ME RIGHT OFF Ft. Ayamé Ponder

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

This week Ayamé Ponder joins Drew on the show while she’s in town from London, so of course they have to hash out Drew’s war on British food. They talk about why Ayamé HATES Los Angeles (they can’t handle a little rain?), the insanity of American cooking shows, what’s wrong with Texas, and so much more. Drew: https://linktr.ee/drewafualo Ayamé: IG / TikTok For sponsorships/partnerships, email [e-mail]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Shop Ultima on Amazon or in store at Target and Whole Foods Market. We put beans with everything. Literally everything. Literally everything. They're like, and do you want beans? No, I don't. Respectfully. Wait, whoa, whoa, hold up.

Whoa. I've just tuned into what you just said. Did you say, especially my breakfast? Yeah. You're pissing me right off. Girl, no. You don't have beans with your breakfast. Girl, what do you think?

That is a breakfast. That is a breakfast staple. Is it? Beans. Choose. For prisoners. What? Everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comments section show,

starring me, your fave. Everybody knows me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. On to the guest. Today, we have the halelel. hilarious, the iconic, the amazing, a yami, ponder. Hello. Hi.

You sound like you're from London. I hate that so much. Do you know where that quote is from? No. That's from forgetting Sarah Marshall, girl. Who's that? It's like a movie and it's Paul Rudd's character. Oh.

It takes place in Hawaii. That's my people. Oh, wow. That's my culture. Well, not Hawaiian, but like Polynesia. And he's just like a surf instructor and like, I think it's Russell Brand is the one that he's like hurt. and he's British and he's like

please get me help and he's like you sound like you're from London oh that's my joke to all British people see that's my opener to all of them yeah I don't like it or there's people that do the Queen of England oh hello the criteria yeah makes you want to yeah yeah I always hear from across the pond

if you couldn't tell y'all that's not a fake accent that's for real I was testing it before were you I was just like oh I also need to tell you this my hair and makeup artist slash cousin named Adam. He's a huge fan of yours. Oh my God.

Hi, Adam. He wanted me to tell you. Hi, Adam. He's not here. He doesn't exist. Really? Yeah, he wanted me to tell you you're his favorite TikToker. Oh my God, piss off.

And I'm a TikToker, so that's really fucking rude. Yeah. That's a bummer. Sorry. I'm so sorry. No, I'm sure. I'm sure it's fine because you, like, you just, he, you know, he knows you. Yeah, whatever.

I'll kill him. okay. But I'm happy to have you. Yay. Are you excited to be here in the States? I'm, yes. I, yes. Yeah. Don't deport me yet. No. I just don't like this part of the States. Yeah. Sorry. LA. Yeah. I don't blame you. Yeah. Lots of people don't like L.A. It's hell actually. I hate it. It's pretty bad. Do you know, actually, I feel more comfortable. I think it's absolutely despicable place. I think it's disgusting. Do what you got to do, girl. Let them know. Yeah. I piss people off all the time. You do. So now I feel more comfortable. Not to switch gears. but like I went to London for the very first time.

Oh. Not too long ago. No, yes. I was there for a minute, girl. Yeah. And I sampled it. First of all, it's so clean there. Thank you.

It's so clean. Oh, my God. I was like, this is New York if New York didn't have human shit on the street. Oh, wow. And have you. Have you been to New York? I have, yeah, I love New York. Lots of human shit on the street.

Okay. Well, that's funny because there's somewhere in Notting. Did you go to Notting Hill? No, I didn't really go anywhere outside of London, to be honest. Well, not it's in London. Oh. Yeah. Notting Hill. Portobella Road.

You go to Portobella Road? That's like a... Sure. Great. I honestly don't know. I know I was near Shaftesbury Avenue. I was like staying here. Piccadilly, like Piccadilly Circus.

Yes. That's where I was staying around. That's my... That's your old stomping grounds? No, I just, I'm proud of myself that I know where things are. Oh, period. But I did enjoy my time in London. I'm glad.

I'm glad you said it was clean because... It was really clean. I feel like as I'm talking, my jaw is like, I'm glad you. It was really cool. Is it just me? It was my jaw going, ha. Um, I don't think so. I'm not too sure what you're referencing, but I don't know.

You look great to me. It feels really like, uh, you know what I mean? I mean, every time you make that noise, it does that. Okay. I'll just stop. Sorry, go on. No, go on. Clean.

When I went, I was glad I went in the winter because I hear you guys don't have air conditioning everywhere, which I find to be a crime against nature. And honestly, a sin against God. if I'm being honest. It's because we're just old. Yeah, I feel that. And I feel like... Because I went to Paris in the summer

and, girl, I sweat so much. It was fucking insane. Yeah, we don't... I think we just say... And it's crazy to me because we haven't learned. We haven't learned that we need more air conditioning and air conditioning needs to be readily available. Yeah.

And every summer people die. And every... Sorry, I feel like I'm really taking... Every summer people die and people metaphorically die of the heat. And we don't say, you know what we could do? We could actually just install some AC. Yeah, but we don't do that. I was telling, I was like, everyone needs to get together over there and be like,

we need to put air conditioning everywhere. Yeah. Also, when I was in Paris, no elevators anywhere. Oh, yeah, no, God, no. And if they were, they were on some sort of police system. Yeah. Bitch, come on. I'm too happy to go on that thing.

Don't do that to me. Don't do that to me with my man. Please, we have to go in one at a time. And they're literally dinky. I just came back from Paris and actually hated that too. Yeah, it was horrible. It was cool. It was so fun and everything is so, like you said, old.

Like, it's real, like, architecture is so old over there and in London too. And I was like, that's awesome. Love that so much. I do hate that I can't see it that great because there's sweat in my fucking eyes because there was no elevator to climb these fucking stairs. Yeah. Also, I will say the tube. That's what you all call it, I'm assuming.

Oh, the tube. The tube. Tube, right? Yeah. Yeah. Me, like, as I kept saying the word, I'm like, that word doesn't sound right. Tube, no, the tube. The tube.

Well, we say tube because you don't say t. But no, that's fine. The tube. The tube, yeah. It was very polite. Are you pissing me off? No, I swear to God, everybody was so nice. What time did you go on the tube?

I went, I want to say at like 10, 30, 11 a.m. Okay, that's why it was nice. Yeah. It was before commute. Yes. If you go on a commute, they're pissing rude. It was so. funny though because when I was on first of all I was the wind fuck with that like there's like a little

wind tunnel I love that because every other subway I've ever taken it's a million and one degrees down there but that little wind I fucked with it I did feel like Andre the giant though in there because like my head was almost touching the ceiling I was like everything is so fucking small we're really dinky how tall I'm six feet tall well then fuck yeah our men are barely six feet tall so that this is really I know my man is six four and when we were in there he was kind of like this is he really yeah he is girl that's congratulations that's why sometimes people are like how tall he like five six I'm like no I'm six feet tall they're like well then why is your boyfriend look like that because he's also built like a proper human because he's also he's taller than me yeah because

god loves him unlike every man who's not six feet and come on gas them all and I yeah the tube was the tube very nice um at the time yeah um I will say though when we started getting off almost got ran over. The way they speed off that shit. Like in New York, I'm used to it. In New York, I'm used to it. But like, for some reason, since everyone was so chill, I was like, oh, we're, chill. I got mowed down by a bitch trying to go to the airport.

I was like, okay. All right. Well, in Paris, did you take the fucking, girl? I have. I don't like the doors. The way that those doors close with an aggression that I have never seen. That's how they, the guillotine is modeled after those. Like, they live the way they're like, doosh, doosh, do you.

Like, I saw a little girls. girl gets slammed in that shit. And then got separated. She was like, yeah, she was probably like nine. And she got left behind by her mom. Her mom got in. Oh, that wouldn't have upset me. And then a French lady next to her was like, it's okay.

It's okay. I've seen a video of that. There was like a little kid that got left and he was sobbing on the floor. It's insane. But that must be scary as a child. I was like, when I watched it, I was like, well, damn, I don't want what happened to her to happen to me. That's true.

Yeah, they are aggressive. I think they're just rude in general. Yeah, but I, I, say I did start a war with the Brits. Yes, you did. Over, over food. Yeah. Would you like to discuss that?

Sure, let's. I would love to. And then I'll talk about the war you started. And that's actually our topic for today. Oh. It's pissing off countries. Look at that segue. But I started it because, first of all, when I went to London, I was like, I'm

a try an English breakfast, like a full English breakfast. Okay. I want to try it. I was like, I've been intrigued. Yeah. I've been seeing the videos. And I kind of compared it to like, Thanksgiving food where it's like a whole bunch of shit, but all of it together tastes good.

So that's kind of where I was like, I'm going to try it, a full English, whatever. Had it on the plane, not great. But then I was like, this is plain food. So I'm going to take it with a grain of salt. Who did you fly with? There I flew Virgin Atlantic. Then yeah. Yeah.

So I tried it and I was like, I'm not loving that, but like it's okay. I'll try it again. Tried it again. Didn't love it. Tried it two more times, decided I hate it. Respectfully. Okay. Love you.

What did you hate about it? I mean, I think I hate that it feels like you guys are eating in medieval times. Okay. You guys are eating like your rationing food. And I find that to be upsetting a little bit. Right. Like, I just feel like they pillaged so many countries for spices and not one of them made it into the cuisine. I find that a little confusing.

Yes. Well, here's the funny thing actually that's about that. Our top dish, like the most, it's important. popular dish. I bet I know what it is. Go on. Is it teka masala? And that's on period, bitch. And that is on colonization. Yeah. And in Indian food there bangs. Yeah. That shit is good. Yeah. I had Italian food there. But apparently it's not proper Indian food. Like we've made up like chicken teak and masala doesn't actually exist in India. Like it's not actually an Indian dish. It is what we created. Imperialism. I love it. But um, I mean. I did have a fish and chips though at a pub. Yeah.

That was good. Okay. I fucked with that. Y'all have vinegar and salt on deck, bitch, on every table. I don't like vinegar salt. Vinegar salt. I don't love vinegar, but on that fish, I was like, okay. I don't like fish and chips either. Really? Yeah, no, it's too, um, it's too like fish-y for me and also just like the batter.

I'm not crazy about the batter. Have you had a battered sausage? No, but my boyfriend had a sausage roll. Yes. And I did try that. From where? Where did he have a sausage roll? We had it in the lounge at the airport.

No. But it was good though. So taste of like stuffing, if you guys have ever had stuffing. Yeah, we have stuffing. Like, like roast dinner stuffing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is what a lot of British people were telling me. They're like, did you have a Sunday roast?

And I was like, no, Sunday roast? But you have that here, no? Do you have Sunday roast here? Yorkshire puddings? See, you should have had a Yorkshire pudding, Sunday roast. But you should have gone to like the places that are like, where did you eat your full English? I really want to, because the full language is just like, it's just eggs.

Yeah. And I don't like how you make them. What's going on there? What do you mean? I think they're too runny. But like they're scrambled. Why are they runny? If they're scrambled, make them scrambled, girl.

Oh, you want to, so just well done. Yeah. Huh? You guys cook your eggs well done? You can get, well, yeah. You can also well done. Wait, someone asked me something while I was there and they were like, how do you want that cooked? And I was like, huh?

Like, I was like, because I don't, like, in America we don't do that. I forget. I thought you asked for egg preference. No, egg preference, yeah. Yeah. So they asked me. Yeah, and I do love an over-easy egg. I love a runny egg.

I love yoke. I love all that. But not runny scrambled. Yeah, because what's the point? You know? Like, that's the case I would have gotten over-easy, but I didn't. So it's like, I don't know. It was, I forget the name of the place I had.

And I honestly don't want to say it because I don't want to fuck them up. But it's not, it has nothing to do with them. Tell me right now. I literally don't even remember. If I remembered, I would tell you. It was near where I was staying. I do know that. See, that's why I feel like it wasn't that good.

You think? Because you have to go to like a proper calf. That's like, I mean, no. Do you know what? There's no point. Do you know what? I'm not going to try and convince you actually because you already made your mind up. You've already been there about six times.

That's just based off what I had while I was there. Yeah. I will say though, you guys knocked snacks out of the park. Yeah? Like chips or what do you call them? Cris and shit like little chocolate candies. You guys knock that shit out of the park. Keep doing it.

I feel like chocolate over here tastes so weird. It's a lot different. It's a lot different. It's like we have a lot. I think we have more milk content. That's why. Yeah. Well, dairy is better.

in Europe in general. Because I have a huge, I have a huge dairy. Well, I'm actually violently lactose intolerant. Oh, my God. I choose to ignore it a lot of times, which is a bad thing. But when I'm in Europe, it doesn't affect me because the dairy is a lot. Dairy is different. Yeah, no, I feel like since being here, I have shat myself.

Girl. So many times. It is so bad. I don't know. Why do they want to kill you? I don't understand. You know, when I pissed a lot of people off, I was just like, hey, the shit is ass.

But mostly like, why do you keep putting peas on my plate? Like, I'll kill the next vegetable piece on my plate, bitch. You don't like a little pete d'i poe? Just why peas? Of all the vegetables you could pick. Why peas? I feel like it's quite an easy. It's just easy.

But they're gross. Peas? Really, like a petty paw? Yeah. A garden. I don't know what you're saying. You could be casting a spell on me, girl. I sure don't know that's well.

A wab, wow, wow, wow. No, you know, because you can get garden peas, which are like fat. Okay, yeah. I had the little minis. Whatever the fuck goes. Yeah, petty pooh. You don't like those. No. Next to my fries, my chips.

Yeah. Girl what they run around. See, if you look at like, do you have birds eye here? No. Bird's eye is like our frozen food thing. You're like, you get birds eye chicken dippers. Okay. Okay. Is that like a chicken tender? Do you dip? No. It's like, well, yes, but it's shaped like a little that. Okay. It's cute. It's like a chicken nugget, but like stretched. Yeah, that's a chicken tender here. That's what they call them. No, because I feel like tender has like the way you.

bred them is different. Do you know what I mean? So it's a long chicken nugget. A long chicken nugget. Gotcha. Yeah, just said that. The visual. Got it. The visual. Yeah. But in all of our birds eye adverts, they all have chips, chicken dippers, peas and ketchup. What's going on? Knock it off. I love a good pea. Now, hey, knock it off. That's why I'm like, if you're going to put green on the plate, make it something else. Why has it had to be? Broccoli? Yeah, I'm cool with that. I love broccoli. Peas. And I was like, quit putting them where they're not supposed to be. And then a lot of People were like, oh, girl, it's because you got to have mushy peas. Huh?

Huh? No. What the fuck are you talking about? I don't like it. How do you make mushy peas? Do you know? I don't know what they are. I think it's just peas and you just...

You just mush them? Yeah. Oh, I thought someone told me you put milk and shit in them and I'm like, huh? Fuck off. Are you fucking with me? Sorry, no, I wouldn't do that. I don't like mushy peas. The way I was like, I was like, I love y'all so much, but like, knock it off.

You're telling me, get some mushy peas. Girl, what the fuck? You can get it in a can. I'll mush my nuts on your forehead. I was like, I don't, I just don't want them near my shitty food. Like if I'm eating shitty food, I mean shitty food. I've made, I've made peace with eating shitty food. I don't want to see a pee next to it.

Yeah, okay. Don't remind me about that. And the thing is, I feel like I understand you because, because I'm half, I'm half Caribbean, so I know what flavor is. Period. I don't just have the full English whiteness. Mm-hmm. But, so I feel like I understand the flavor options. But sometimes I do side with the colonizer, just because, I'm,

just because I've grown up there. Near and dear to your heart. Yeah. It's like nostalgic. Yeah. Well, that's how I feel about American food too. Like sometimes I'm like, Grits. I was like,

nothing makes me more America, Ra! Than going to Europe. Because like every time I go, I'm like, okay, well, at least in America,

they have fucking elevators and air conditioning. I'm just like the worst American ever when I go over there. Yeah, but I think that's just patriotism. Patriotism. Patriotism.

Yeah, it's like patriotism. Yeah. Both of those things are bad. But like... See, when I think of that, I think of EDL, which is like it's called English Defense League.

Okay. And it's basically people saying, get them out. Yeah. Okay. But, you know, I feel like when I was there too and I was talking shit,

I got a lot of people messaging me and they're like, oh, that's because you fucking Americans are so fucking fat. And you have all these additives and fucking corn serving shit. I have been saying that. And I was like, okay. I was like, you know what though? Like, be that as it may, right? I didn't say, I said, I said, give me a spice, bitch.

That's what I said. Yeah. Right? I said, I don't want to eat food that looks like the food that, like, Matthew McCona had to stomach through on the spaceship and interstellar. It is medieval. Girl, I don't want one that looks like it's in a bag and I have to pour hot water in it and shake it up in order to activate it. Like, don't do that to me. Well, I feel like it's because we have no natural flavors and spicy. Yeah, because we don't, all we have really is like potatoes and bread.

Yeah. That's our, like, dish. That's what a lot of people were telling me. Yeah. So that's probably why. Because not too many British people were mad at me. Some of them weren't pissed off at me. I mean, it's not that deep.

It's not like you're saying, fuck. Yeah, I was literally just like your cuisine is ass, but I love y'all, though. It is us. You all gave us one direction. I'm thankful for y'all. Okay? Appreciate it. Yeah.

Love you down. Adele. Yeah, and Adele, there you go. I was like, love that. Everywhere else has food. You guys have them. Yeah, and that's okay. We all have our strengths.

We all have our strengths. Ours is just not food. That's why we go on ships and steal other people's food. Yeah. What about your beef? Let's hear about yours that you started with the Americans. Well, my beef, I hate them. more.

Pretty much. No, my beef pretty much is, I wish you would all just go away. No. I don't even have, my beef was unintentional. Yeah. It was about the rain. Yeah. Which apparently.

I thought it was funny. I thank you. Yeah. But people took it in a way that I was saying, okay, fuck the people that die. Yeah. Which is not what I'm saying. Yeah, not at all. At all.

I didn't even know people died. We're silly people on the internet. We're just silly little key, key, key. Yeah. We're making little key, key jokes. It's fine. And everyone's like, you should research before you make a video. No.

Hey, I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. Is that? I'm sorry? No. It's your job to teach me. Yeah. Just like with every other. No, it's not.

Well, and also like, I mean, you guys see this on what? Two days a year? Like, groundhogs? Yeah. So there you go. So everyone's like, oh, you hate it here because of the rain. I don't give a fuck about the rain. You're all the rain.

The rain is least of the rain. The rain is actually making me feel so happy. I hate. you. That's the issue here. No, but I saw that it was raining and basically was like,

I got a flood warning and I was like, guys, it's a little bit of drink. Get a grip. It's like, a little bit of spit. Get a hold of yourself. Apparently people die.

Yeah. But I can't control that. I didn't know. That's people just taking it too seriously. Again, it's like, that's not what you were talking about. It's like they're likening it to something that you weren't even talking about,

which I know. But people get so pissed off when you talk shit about stuff that's irrelevant. Like it's not it's not anything that's racially based or anything. It's literally something silly. The rain and food like it's like it's never that serious. And it was like I don't understand it. People like why I'm not personally attacking you but now I am because you're stupid. Now I think you're actually dumb. You're dumb. You have no sense. Well Google the joke and then get back to me. Yeah. And that's actually what I did. I said to I'm like first of all chill like because some some some

Some British people were literally like, I've supported you forever, the fact that you're tacking shit. Girl, relax. I wasn't talking about you. I wasn't talking about you were your mom's food, all right? I was talking about Osbe. Their mom's food is probably shite as well. I was like, I was being a dickhead on the internet. Like that's, Google a joke and get back to me because that's literally what I'm doing.

I'm being silly. It's not that fucking serious. And someone messaged me and they're like, they're just mad because they eat like Allie cats. That's hilarious. We do. That is. Oh. Yeah, my, my boyfriend was telling me, they're, I fuck.

I forget the dish. but you guys put tuna on it. And I was like, huh? Jackie potato. That I have seen. Jackie potato with tuna and cheese. Yeah, what's going on there? No, but that is, okay, but have you had it?

No. It doesn't appeal. I do love tuna. I do love a baked potato. Yeah. I do love that. Try it, honestly, tuna mayo with cheese. It's honestly...

What kind of cheese? Any cheese you like, really? Or is it like a cheddar? Oh, anything. Ideally not mozzarella because I feel like that's a bit too soft. You want to do like a salty cheese? To match with the salt of the fit. It's, it's, okay.

Okay. There's also beans. Yeah, those I can't get behind. I tried. Bake beans. I tried. I tried putting it on shit. Like, I tried putting it on the fucking bread and everything.

You didn't like baked beans. Girls on toast with cheese. I like beans, just not with all my meals, but especially, especially not my breakfast. We put beans with everything. Literally every, literally everything. They're like, and do you want beans? No, I don't. respectfully.

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. I've just tuned into what you just said. Did you say especially my breakfast? Yeah. You're pissing me right off. Girl, no. You don't have beans with your breakfast. Girl, what do you think?

That is a breakfast. That is a breakfast. That is a breakfast staple. Is it? Beans. Choose. For prisoners. What?

Baked beans. Girl, I don't know what you, y'all are fucking on. No, that's, okay. For everyone at home, it's like Bush's beans. Y' all know Bush's beans. And you guys have what? Heinz. Yeah.

Heinz beans. Heinz. Heinz beans. Yeah. So like, Bush's beans is what the fuck they're putting on everything, bitch, including breakfast. No, but that's... What you mean including?

It's the breakfast. Like, it is the breakfast. What do you have it with? Dinner? Baked beans. With dinner, bitch. With dinner? With like a roast chicken?

I don't, I'm trying to think of a beans meal. Sorry, do you know what? Now I understand. You know, oh yeah, like, like... Short ribs and baked beans. Yeah, like, like barbecue. What the pissing heck you talk about. Like, they'll have like racks.

Like racks of rice. ribs or they'll have like hot dogs and beans on the side kind of deal you guys put you guys put tuna on your potatoes i don't want to hear it no but that makes sense that makes sense that's a savory that doesn't make that sorry no that now i understand the dms that like i supported you for so long they're like i can't get behind this i can't get behind this i can't get behind this i tried baked beans i believed in y'all and you let me down you know what i didn't go to a chicken shop i didn't go to one though i wish i did they're not very good it's just it's a chicken shop it's like And I'm saying that and you're like, yeah.

Sure. No, it's like, it's like. Do you have you had canes here? Raising Cains? Have you had that here? No, huh? Okay, Raising Cains is like, it's a chain restaurant, but it's like fast food. But they only serve like chicken tenders and fries.

That's it. And bread. Oh. So that's all the meals they have. It's like they have like three fucking things and like one sandwich. See, our chicken shops have that, but they also have pizza and they also have burgers. Is like, you have that in other places, but that. Did you get a kebab?

I did. not. Okay. I did not. I did see, wait, what, what's, oh, shwarma. That's what my, uh, I'm gonna burm. Technically that's not even ours. Yeah. Sorry. Not at all. But my boyfriend said he saw, he saw a video on TikTok. Sorry. Of a girl getting a shwarma and then putting tuna and shit on it. That's disgusting. I was like, what? See, shawma's middle eastern, but we have a lot of Middle Eastons. Yeah. And that's why I was like, I was like, well, I knew that because y'all colonized. You didn't know a shwama either. Colonizers. A what? Shwama. Oh, a shwama, no. I haven't, I didn't not have one of those.

Shwama kebab, nothing. See, then I feel like, I feel like you didn't actually have it properly. Girl, I had your colonizer food. You had English breakfast. You didn't have a roast dinner. I didn't. You had beans, but I didn't like them at breakfast.

And I had fish and chips. And I did fuck with that. Fish and chips is fine. Yeah, I told them, I was like, that, that's good. Although I will say, the pub that I did go in, it was like the upstairs is where you like ate, right? So we had to go up these stairs. Yeah.

And it was two billion degrees in there. I said, you guys don't have air conditioning, but you have heaters? Okay, love that. Yeah, because our houses are built for the cold, basically. Yeah, and it wasn't even that. I literally, I was dripping sweat in that fucking rush on. Yeah, it was crazy. Maybe it's because your body temperature naturally is, like, hot.

It is, it is. I'm a sweaty bitch for sure. Oh, love that. And I was like, I am so tired of going to other countries and thinking I'm going to be cold, girl, I'm not. It's time I accept my fate as a sweaty bitch on the internet. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

You're not. Sorry about that. But you can't tell you're sweaty unless like you're sweaty. Essentially, yeah. Science. Yeah. I think mostly I sweat like it. I have a theory that if I shaved my head bald, I would never sweat again probably. Oh, you think it's your hair?

A lot of it isn't. Yeah, a lot of it's in my head. It's great though. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. And I and I feel like I love I loved going to the UK. I thought it was a fucking blast. Everybody there was so nice.

Really? For the most part. Yeah, they were very, very nice to us. But it's so funny because every time I go anywhere in Europe with my boyfriend especially, they think he's a famous rugby player. Oh, really? And I'm just some bitch. Rugby's a big thing, though.

Yeah, they were like, are you on the, wait a second. Yeah. I'm like, wait a second. Because is your boyfriend also from me? Getting nervous? He's someone like me. He's Polynesian, yeah. Yeah, he's getting nervous.

No, he's someone like me. Yeah, so we have a, I think, especially with rugby, especially over there, Polynesian. That's like their only exposure, really. It's so funny to any someone, people is like literally it's rugby. And when we were in Paris, my boyfriend went to the gym. Like, which again, in Paris, they, gyms are like non-existent, really. When they have them, they're a hundred years old.

Like it's the equipment is a hundred years old. Literally one dumbbell. Yeah, but yeah. And my agent, my friend, she was like, oh, yeah, they don't really like work out like that here in Paris. Like it's kind of just walking and smoky cigarettes is like really the workout. I hate them. And they were so rude in Paris. They were fucking rude, bitch.

Oh my God. Girl, that is not a joke. They are so rude and they hate people of color. They fucking hate them over there. Well, I feel like because they hated you. Yeah. They hated me also. Yeah.

But I'm more white passing than you are. Yeah. And my boyfriend and my sister and my cousin Adam, like we were all together. And my agent slash friend Alex, she's white. So like we had her. her go in places first. Right. And they were nicer to her.

Yeah. Because someone told me it's not even like a, it's not even a racing. They just hate if you, if you are a person of color, but you're not French, get the fuck out. Yeah. Get the fuck out of our country. Oh, I'm sure. It's like, I doubt it's conditional though, because they were really nice to her.

Really? Yeah. And her last name is French, which is hilarious. Oh, what a bitch. She might as well just move. When we went, I was like, we got to take at least one white person. We are vulnerable. Yeah.

If we go over there with no white people on our team, uh-oh. Like we're too visibly ethnic. Yeah. We need at least one. And then when we went to London, her and her husband came with us and he's half British. Oh, okay. So like we went and they were so fucking nice to him, I think, because they thought he was British. Yeah.

And they were mean as fuck to her, which is so funny. Does she have an American accent? Yeah. Does he have an American accent? Yeah. Oh. But he looks British. Like, I don't know if it's just maybe vibes.

They were. No, he's got like a, he's a white guy, but he has like a. really big long beard and like he dresses kind of British. I don't know. It's like he wears little caps. Shit. I don't know. I don't know.

They were so nice to him and like to her. They were like, what the fuck out of here? And they were really nice to us. But I think that's because they thought my boyfriend was a famous rugby player. Probably. Probably. That's what it is.

That's probably what it is. Even when we got off our flight, this guy, this British guy was literally like, oh my God. Are you? And he like said some name and my boyfriend was like, no. And he goes, you are him. You are. And then he was like, no, I'm not.

No. Really? Yeah. And with the guy who picked us up too, like, he picked us up in this like kind of little mini bus. And he was also very old. And that's not me dragging him. Like he's, he was fucking old.

He was super old, like, which is fine. He was the nicest guy ever. But my boyfriend like kind of like helped put all the bags in the, in the car and everything. And when we're, he's like, now I'm going to give you the real tour of London. And we were like, okay, he talked. entire time. We were in the car for almost two hours. He talked the entire fucking time. Like he was like, and over here, you'll see. And then he starts telling us why like it's better

to drive on that side of the road because this, this and that, like, he was giving us a whole history lesson. And then he turned down the wrong street. Which I believe was a like only for pedestrians because it was like a really narrow alley. And we're in this big ass bus and he got fucking stuck and then he was like trying to do like a huge like 20 point turn to turn around and go out. And he was backing up and he was like, yeah, this bus is brand new. Like we just got it. And he's backing up and he slammed into something. He was like, did you guys hear that?

And we were like, um, I just like, what am I going to tell you? Yeah, you crash. And then the security guy that was like outside of a bar right there. He goes, he's like, mate, you got to get out of the fucking car and come fucking look at this. And he was like, what do you mean? And he was like, you got to come out here and look, bitch. Like, you're hitting something like over and over again. A person or just a car?

It was like, it was like a big like cement like thing in the ground. Did he dent in the car? Yeah. The bomber was fucked up. When we got out and I was like, all right, we'll love you. Bye. Thank you. Also, I feel like as soon as British people heard that obviously we're American,

um, they felt the need to give me a tutorial on literally anything. like anything at all like if I walked in at where they're like come on over here I'll show you this is how you use this and they were giving me like a step by step instruction because we think you're all stupid yeah yeah I got that I was like literally when we got to our hotel everyone was so nice and she checked this and she's like I'm going to give you like a tour of the hotel we're like okay that's pretty standard she gives us a tour and then she's like here's the elevators we're like are the lift right she's like here's the lifts we're like okay she goes this is the lift you take not that one And we were like, okay, got it.

Thank you. There's a sign that says two rooms, so I got that. She's like, okay. And then you press this button to get in. We're like, okay. Thank you. Yeah. Then we get in.

And she goes, and then you use your card right here. And then you press your floor number, and then it will take you there. And I was like, yeah, God, I know how elevators work, but thank you, love you. Wow. And then it closed. And I was like, I don't want one more tutorial from someone, please. Let me be a stupid American if I can't figure it out. Yeah.

It's okay. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, no, it's all right. But we do hate you all. that's, I think that's what I mean. I was going to say, I think that's maybe why people were rude to you because we do not like. That was pretty, yeah. Yanks is what we're going.

It's just so annoying. My grandma calls you guys the Yanks. The Yanks, yeah. That's really kind of prehistoric. I know a lot of people, I was calling people, I was calling y'all when I was talking shit. I was calling you Redcoats. The Muffet. What?

I was like, those fucking red coats are pissed off and me, bitch. The red coats are coming? The red coats, yeah. What is that? Who's that? Some white guy. Who is that? Is that to do with a silver?

World War? Is this slavery that we're talking about? No, babe. Oh, okay. It's the Revolutionary War. That's when we fought y'all. For the tea, Boston Tea Party? No, babe, that's different. No, Paul Revere, like, warned everyone when the British were coming. Paul Revere. That sounds like such a like, how I mean, my name's Paul Revere. Really? And he was, the British are coming. Yeah, the British are coming. And so we're the red coats. Yep, that's y'all. Me saying, you guys are dumb. Since we're on the topic. Yeah, go on. Like, American Samoa has a really, really high obesity rate, which a lot of people talk about, like, they associate it with that. But the reason why they have a very high obesity rate is because they became, they were colonized and became an American territory.

So they put in franchise restaurants. So like, we used to live off the land, but now American Samoa is so colonized that there's nothing but chain restaurants. And it takes, it's really expensive to buy groceries because obviously they're an island and they're very far away. And they have to ship it from America. So they don't live off the land nearly as much as they used to. and so they just buy fast food all the time and that's why we have a really high obesity rate because of America.

I'm sorry. Fun fact for y'all. I hate America. I really do. But at the same time, the British didn't do it. Technically we started it all. Yeah. Sorry.

Yeah, all roads lead back, you know. Sorry. Okay, so I'm going to read you some of these TikToks I have to do with us starting wars with each other's countries. Oh. But see, look, we're coming together in peace. Oh, okay.

I thought you meant about us going to war. Oh, no. Sorry. No, you might be going to war. I won't be a part of that. God forbid. You say you, I'm not going on. I'm not going.

You're like, oh, no. Sorry. Sorry, can't. Okay, so in this first video, a man on a podcast is announcing why he feels Texas is the best state in America. Some of his reasons. Yeah.

Some of his reasons are Dallas is one of the biggest airports, so it's a two and a half hour flight from anywhere. Question mark. There are basically no rules, and Texas is a right to, work state so you don't have to make an excuse to fire somebody so okay but why is that a good thing also you're saying there's no rules yeah are you six are you six years old i've been to texas many many times uh growing up because my dad played football in college in texas so i used to go all the time

that was my first time having sonic actually have you had sonic the hedgehog maybe maybe it's his restaurant no it's it's a drive-thru restaurant but literally you should if you can you should go to a Sonic, I think you'll get a kick out of how they serve you because you pull up and like there's like little like little stalls where you park your car. Yeah. And the menu's next to you. Yeah. And you order and they bring the shit out to you on roller skates. I'm not kidding. I'd push them over. They skate out like with it on a tray. That's like their thing. Yeah. That's their thing. If you really want to shit your pants, you should go to Sonic. Really? Is it really shit? Yeah. I mean like most drive-through food here, I'm sure you, you've found out the hard way. It's pretty bad.

Well, I haven't, I had Taco Bell. And how was that? How was the diarrhea? I actually shut myself. Like, actually? It's, I don't know whether. Can we rewind? Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

No, can we rewind and just forget I said that? Totally. I actually did actually shit myself. That's terrible. Shat myself in a white dressing. What did you have? I don't know. Do you remember?

I had a beef. Like Burita? Beef. I had a beef? No, it was the hard one. Oh, like a taco. Beef hard taco. Okay.

That one. But it wasn't that night. It was a couple days later that I think it decided. Ooh. Yeah. That's why I don't trust anything here. Yeah. Taco Bell's pretty, you know, you got to be really low to eat Taco Bell here.

Yeah, you got to be like, nothing else is open and I'm fucked up and I need something to eat. Really? Taco Bell. Yeah. That's kind of like last resort. Like I was fucking Taco Bell up when I was like, in my prime drinking age. Because now I'll be put into a hospital if I drink like that.

But like I'll literally, I'll pass away. But for Taco Bell, like, that was my shit. Like, I'd get so fucked up and I'd go back and I'd order Taco Ball. And I'd be like, oh, this is a five-star Michelinia. Like, I am being served by the greatest chefs on the planet. See, what is, which one's better? Because there's Del Taco. Mm-hmm.

And Taco Bell. Del Taco, I personally like more. That might be a controversial take. Oh, really? Yeah. but I fuck with del taco. I haven't had del taco. And they're cheap as fuck.

You could go there and order. That concerns me. You can order 60 things and it's like 25 bucks. That freaks me out. It's definitely not real beef. Absolutely not. And you know what? When I go and they're like, oh, that's not real Mexican food, girl, I know that.

I don't give a hoot and heck. You think I know that that 16 year old white kid? You think I don't know that he's not making Spanish cuisine for me? I don't know that shit. It's not authentic. I'm there because I'm broke and I'm starving. Oh. Those are my two.

You know what's funny is like I had to take a break from Del Taco for a while because way before I had this platform, I went to Coachella for the very first time. I think the year that Ariana Grande headlines, yeah. And so I went and we stated this like really cheap hotel and next door was a taco about like literally next door. And by the time you get back to the fucking hotel, like nothing is open and you're starving. And I had that to eat every night for dinner for like three days. And I was shit in my pants, girl. But I was starving. Yeah.

What are you going to do? you're going to do? And then I had to take a break for a while. Oh. Because I was like, I regret it. When was the last time you had it? Oh, actually the last time I had it recently was after I went to the Beyonce birthday show, like the Renaissance tour. Oh, yeah, sure.

Cash. I went to that. I got home at like four in the morning and I was fucking starving and that was the only thing open so I ordered del Taco. And that's okay. And it did hurt my stomach, but, hey, worth it. Hey. Delicious. At the time, you don't think about that.

You don't think about the problems. No, not at all. I don't eat food thinking, is this going to make me shit myself? I enjoy it while at last. Yeah. Did you enjoy Taco Bell, though? I did. I did enjoy it.

But it was, it wasn't like gourmet. It was just talk about. I know you do a lot of videos about like hotel food and everything. Yeah. Me. Yeah. Because I feel like hotels, the amount I'm paying. Yeah.

Get your shit up. Get your cuisine up. Yeah. Why the who and heck am I getting shit food in this nice hotel? Yeah. And it's always not nice. Yeah. I haven't really had much.

I'm like trying to think if I've ever been in a hotel where I'm like this room service is fucking awesome because it's more so not. Yeah it's never that nice most of the time because I feel like especially when I do like brand tricks and they'll say oh you're checking and they're like oh by the way there's a hundred pounds on the room every night but like don't feel you have to spend it

like we're going to be going ahead and sorry I'm opening up that room service I'm not even fucking hungry keep me this this yeah don't you worry about that girl otherwise I wouldn't get room service I'd go out But I'm just spending all these brands money. And it's all shit. Yeah, get it.

Get it while you can. Yeah. You were just saying that why there's so many helicopters. Me. Yeah. That's why. They're looking for people. I was telling Ayama.

They're literally looking for convict. A lot of times. Convict. Sometimes they're like traffic like helicopters. So they're just showing. Yeah, the 404 is kind of backed up here, Tom. You know what's funny is that skit the Californians off S&L. Have you ever seen it?

No. You should, okay, if you look it up, you'll know now that you're in L.A. for a while now. Is it the people doing the news? No, it's the people. They're literally, they're from California, but they're just constantly talking about all the freeways they're taking. Oh, okay. And like they say it in like a surfer guy kind of tone. They're like, I'll take the 101 to the 405 to the 55 and I'll meet you there.

Because that's how we talk. Like literally, we're like, oh, really? Yeah. I feel like when I did the rain thing, everyone was like, ha, well, when you're fucking turned over on the 404. What are what fuck is that? The 405 is a main highway that comes into L.A. I don't fucking know. You know what's funny is my agent.

She's Canadian. So she, like, I've told her before, I'm like, do you want to, like, drive? Like, if you want, you can take my car because something she'll stay with me. And she's like, no, I'm too fucking scared to drive here. Like, you guys can't drive. It's actually saying so many people have literally tried to merge into my car. Oh, yeah. And I'm a big fuck off car.

Yeah. Fuck you. I can't. You can drive manual. end. Yeah. Period. Girl.

I can drive a stick. Yeah, I can't drive a stick. Oh, really? You just learn Automatic. Yeah. That's how everyone here learns. Unless you choose to learn stick, you don't have to. Well, I feel like all of our cars mainly are manufactured manual.

Yeah. That's cool, though. I feel like if you could drive stick, you'd drive anything. Yeah, I feel like real badass. You know what I mean? Yeah. My friend taught me how to drive stick in college and I was doing it. But then I was like, why would I do this when I could just not do it?

It's true. Why would you? Why would you make a life? How would I choose to do that when I could just not? It's really silly. And then that's where I'm stupid because every other country in the world is manual. Stick. But you still can if you're hiring a car.

Unless you get like deserted in the middle of the country and someone's like, fuck, we only have this one car that's manual. That's true. Or you die. Quick, who knows how to drive a stick? Yeah, that's why I don't know how to do that. You do. I'll drive your stick.

Are you single? I am newly. Oh, Red. Yeah. It's okay. You're better off. Quiet on set, please. Moment of silence, please. No, it's okay. I'm happy. No, I am.

As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. You're better off, I guarantee you. Apparently. That's what people say, but do I feel better? No. No, I do. I do. Publicly you do? Publicly, you do? No, I do. Okay, that's good.

I've only cried myself to sleep about out of the whole time that we've been broken up, maybe like five times, which is like, like, That's not bad. Over a three-month space, that's pretty okay. There you go. So I'm okay. Good. I'm glad.

So if you're interested, she is single. You have to be over six foot two. You have to have a fat cock. You have to be earning a lot of money. If you don't, then do not speak to me. You can't be insecure. You cannot hate women. You cannot be a homophobe, a transphobe.

Yeah. What else? You can't wear skinny jeans. There you go. I think that's a pretty easy list. that's okay yeah that's real baseline I think I don't care what race you are there you go period as long as you meet meet those requirements yeah there you go then that's fine okay so I'm gonna read some of the comments on this video about why Texas is the best it's not

even though I have a lot of friends from Texas and I and Beyonce's in Texas baby yeah Beyonce's from Texas Megastalian's from Texas I love Megan's Italian me too I would actually disintegrate for her I would too if she said become of powder and say bet. When and where, babe? Yeah, right here on the floor. Okay, some of these comments on here, this one says, hush, keep our state a secret, please, we don't need a bunch of pansies coming here. What? You're a hundred years old? Why do people, why? Why? And then what is it? Don't be a Nancy. Yeah, Nancy. Get a grip. A pansy. I feel like, they say that shit because the next comment says, don't forget our guns. Like, they're an open, they're an open carry state. So, like,

Sorry? Open carry means you can have a gun in most public spaces, like visibly in the first place. You could literally just have it and just walk around. What? Yeah. They're an open carry state. That's why they say that. They're like, we're so badass.

Come and take them. Because you have guns? Yeah. And you're allowed to, like, wield them openly, I guess. I'm so, it actually, like, it freaks me out. I think even like seeing your police, even, I think they have them in Canada as well, seeing your police have guns. When I saw that, I was like, so I'm going to die

it was really because we don't like guns are our last resort we'll taser you will hit you with a baton I fucking wish that was the case here it's not it's so insane there was one like guy that was like yielding wielding wielding wielding yeah wielding an axe like in public space trying to kill people he didn't so like in the UK in the UK and he was running around this like road trying to kill people

And the police, like there was this video footage of the police trying to stop him with an act. And they're like, hey, hey, hey, guys, come on. Take it down a notch. But no guns. That's crazy. It freaks me the piss out. So free, free gun state, you said? Free gun.

Open carry. Piss off. Why? Fuck if I know. In case you fucking red coats come back over here. But I got it. Gunslingers. That's insane.

Yeah, I don't know what the fuck it's, it's the most like. Are you allowed guns in this state? It's not an open carry state, no, which means you cannot have guns in any public space here. So you have to have it locked up? Yeah, essentially. And you have to have a permit and all that stuff. You don't need a permit for Texas? No, I think you do. Oh.

I actually don't know. I'm assuming you do, but like I have no clue. Don't assume. It's just way more, it's just way more like open and common to have guns. Like you'll be like you could be shopping in the grocery store and someone in front of you could have like a gun in a holster like in front of you. And then it's, they're allowed to do that. But you can't do that here. The gun laws are actually pretty strict in California. Oh.

Yeah. More strict than most states, which is not saying much. But yeah. Bummer. Bummer. No, I'm depressed. Thank you. This last one says, just a reminder to all moving here from California,

respect the state and culture. If you ain't red, don't bring your ass here. Okay. Well, that could be a whole done to some things. Okay, so I don't know if you know this, but just in case you don't. That racist? Well, yeah, obviously. But they're a red state.

So a red state and a blue state are like the two blue states are more liberal. Democratic. Yeah. Blue states are. Republican. Republican are red states. Blue states are democratic. So like.

Which one's a good one? Blue. That's the elephant. Yes. Yeah. Right? Is the blue? No, wait.

No, I'm wrong. One's a donkey. One's an elephant. Oh yeah. Donkey is blue. Elephant is red. We shouldn't be the donkey. I'm me saying we.

They shouldn't be. They're the good. one. They should not be the donkey. Yeah. It's like, and it's all very subjective because there are a lot of bad things on both sides if we're being on it. But like blue is more liberal. So like liberal progressive. Okay. Red is more conservative. So they're a red state. They always vote. Duh, because they fucking love guns and they're very racist. So. See, the thing is that that that comment where it's like, don't come over. Wait. Yeah. Hold on one. No. Don't come. I fuck it. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't, I wouldn't not go to Texas unless it's against my will.

Unless I really have to go. I don't plan on going there. For real. Sorry. And I know the little lady here that's from Texas. I'm sorry. It's all right. If they're a good person, I know a lot of good people from Texas.

They know. There's a lot of fucking problems with that state. Like, why are you racist? Just why? Oh, girl. Why? No, but why? What's going on?

Why? No, Jenny. This isn't like you. No. No, but if you can actually tell me why. Yeah. They can't. They really don't have an answer for that.

Because shut up. Yeah, they came from your island. That's your fault. I'm sorry. That's fact. Well, honestly, if it's coming from a red state, a lot of times it is the craziest headline you've ever seen. And it could be, it is like so far past the truth.

It's not even funny. And they like don't know anymore, like, red state people who are like super racist and awful. They're like, did you guys know that they're fucking cloning people and they're sending them over here? Like, they'll say the craziest shit you've ever heard. And you're like, where did you read that? Where?

And then they're like. Show me the article. Then they're like Facebook and I'm like, okay, well, there you go. Right. Okay, well, there you go. Go fuck yourself. Okay, this next video. This is a black woman.

She's speaking on some of her personal experiences of racism in Florida. And one example, she talks about how it's known to be such a friendly state, but most of the time when she's at grocery stores, the employees don't smile or say hello to her. But then they go out of their way to make conversations and be friendly with other customers. Right. And then this first comment says, please share this so people will move out of state so housing can be cheaper. Yikers, okay? Housing's ridiculously cheap in Florida compared to most states, especially California. It's like California, New York are the most expensive states because that's where everyone wants

to live. You know when people are like, in fucking Texas, you could get a seven bedroom house for that much money? And I'm like, yeah, then you're stuck in Texas. Yeah. Like, yeah, then I have to live amongst racist. No thanks. Yeah.

No thanks. I'll pass. No, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. But as if they're saying, yeah, keep telling everyone that we're racist so that all of you

guys leave. They're like, yeah. That's what you're saying. Exactly. Tell them that. Get out then. How about you leave? It says, that's not racism. They just have nothing to say to you. Try starting a conversation with them first. Why didn't I think of that? Yeah. Like, God. What? Why don't I just talk to racist? Yeah, maybe I should try. That's like when they tell me. Literally their fucking heads. Literally, they're like, oh, so you're black. Yeah. That's initially them. Yeah. Every single time, it's so funny too, because even here, like, anywhere really every time i fly somewhere for work um sometimes like because i whatever if i fly first whatever and trust me fly first class fly fucking first girl come on sorry but anyways when i do do it i uh

every this is not a joke every single fucking time someone stops us and goes this is for first every time that's not a joke every fucking when i left the uk bitch when i left the uk we uh went to every like like like went through all the TSA shit, whatever, went to our gate. When we get to the gate, my boyfriend goes first, and then they're like, oh, it's for first. And he goes, I can read. Yeah, he's like, I know I can see the, I can see on the screen. It says first. It's fine.

And he's like, no, I know. I have that. They're like, oh, okay. And they scan it. I know. They scan it. And then they're like, can you step to the side? And then my boyfriend's like, oh.

And you think he has to wait. Yeah, random. So random. And then he goes and he's like, oh, I think they want to check because we bought like some, souvenirs and stuff. And he's like, oh, I think they want to check these bags. The guy goes, no, I don't want to see those. I want to put those down and take the shoes off.

I want to look in your backpack. And then my boyfriend was like, for what? And he's like, oh, it's just a random check. Oh, I fucking bet it is, bitch. I'm sure it's so random. Like eight white dudes walked in front of us. But yeah, I'm sure it's... You want to randomly check them?

Oh, I'm sure it's so fucking random. And it's always my boyfriend or me. Like, every time. So we go and then I'm like, and I'm standing over there with him because I think that I have to go to because I didn't hear the conversation. And they're like, oh, ma'am, you don't have to go over there, like, come over here. And I was like, well, what's he doing? Yeah.

And they're like, oh, it's a random check. Them with a glove. Yeah. They're like, and I was like, oh, random. It's super random, I bet. It's so, I used to, when I used to fly with my sister, my sister's hijabi, so she miss them. Every time we flew.

She just, she just got in the line for the random check. She's like, let me save you all some time. It sucks. Because I know what you're thinking. It's fucking terrible. It's like, what? At this point, like, what are we talking about? What are we talking about?

And I was like, I was so, I was so annoyed. I was like, why are you guys doing? I said, hey, what's the fucking point at TSA? Hey, what's the point? If he snuck a bomb past this point, like, what are the odds? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, okay.

And then they literally looked through every single thing in that backpack. He was standing there for a minute. And he was so like, it's humiliating, too. They make you do it in front of everyone. And I was like, dude, this is fucking bullshit. And I was telling him, too. I was like, this is bullshit that you guys do this. Like, what's, is your TSA that fucking shit that you guys have to check?

Randomly check again, but you only checked him. And then we were walking on and he's like, hey, don't be afraid to randomly check white people too. Yeah. Because we were the only people of color in first. Yeah. So that's why I was like, of course. The only people of color in first. Mm-hmm.

So I was like, nice, nice, nice, nice. Love that. Love that for you. Yeah. I'm sure you do with that shit too. It's fucking bullshit. Well, when I was flying here, I didn't, I didn't fly fast. I flew business, but.

It's all right, though. It's fine. It's fine. And they basically, when I was queuing up to go to business, and here's a thing. I have a, because the, what's it called? The airline I flew with, I have a membership with them because I love them. They're called British Airways. Hi.

And I have like a very high tier with that membership. And I was queuing up to go into the line for business because they obviously do first and business first and business first. Yeah. And the woman was like, oh, no, no, no, we're not doing economy yet. And I was like, yeah. Yeah, well, that's, that's nice. Do I look poor to you?

Yeah, I was like, no. You just don't look white. Yeah. But the thing is, it's just, it's, you don't really, you kind of go through your life like, la-di-da-di-da, I'll be fine. And then things happen. You're like, fuck off. One time we flew, I was going to New York.

And this lady, she was like, oh, we're boarding. Because I think at the time I was flying jet blue and they called their first, like, mint or something. So she's like, oh, we're doing mint. And then to me and my boyfriend, and we're like, I know. And we scanned our passes. And she's like, we're doing mint, like started talking louder. And I was like, I heard you.

And then she goes, can I see her passes, like to me and him? And then we showed them. And she goes, oh, you guys are mint. Oh, that's crazy. Would you look up on it? And I was like, yeah, it turned out I can fucking read. I don't know who she is. I don't know who she is.

I hope she went home. She tripped. She fell in a puddle. Had a terrible night. She had a terrible evening. She ate some food. It gave her food. poisoning. She was bedridden for days. I don't know who you are, but fuck you. It pisses me off.

It's so funny too because I'm like I feel like you think like past like racism, right? Like I can fucking read. Right. So I can I can read and I can see. You're also young. Like it's not like you're like old and senile where it's like, okay, maybe you did get a bit discery and lost. You're young. Like I know how the world works. In fact, I'm building it for you. So what are you fuck? No thanks to you. So fuck off. Yeah. When I bought out, I was at the department store the other day and I was buying a dress and it was for an event. So it was like kind of expensive, which whatever.

But like I was buying it and the lady goes, oh, like is it for a special occasion? I'm like, yeah, it's just like for work. And then she goes, okay. And she goes, you saw the price tag, right? And I was like. If you don't get the fuck out. I was like, yeah, I did. Yeah.

Did I see it when I tried it on in the dress room? Yeah, I did. And then she was like, oh, okay. And she's ringing it up. And she goes, for work, huh? And I go, yep, because I'm not talking about what the fuck I'm doing. And she's old as shit. So I'm like, I'm not trying to happen.

Get away for me. Yeah. Get away from me. For something for the Grammys. So I like didn't want to talk about what it was for. I was just like, it's for work. Like, it's not a big deal. And she goes, okay, work, right?

And I go, yeah. I said it three times. And then the last time she goes, what do you do for work? And I go, all kinds of stuff. And then she was like, okay. And I go, all right, cool. Thank you. Get on my face.

Got my bag. left and my boyfriend was laughing he goes that was so awkward like the girl's like she was like poking and prodding because she wanted to know like because I look too young and I'm not white so she's like how can you afford how many drugs have you brought into this country is that what you're doing I don't get it but different numbers do people not feel like do they not feel the awkwardness and then try and be just like nice it's horrible it doesn't make sense like do you not understand that you're making it awkward like can you not can you not sense that and then say,

anyway, let's pivot and change that. Yeah, well, if you're thinking it, keep it in here. Yeah. I don't need to hear it.

Yeah. That's okay. Because I don't care. Because how about you wait, if you really believe I can't afford it, how about you wait until I use my card and it gets to climb? It gets to climb. And then you can Kiki at that moment.

Yeah, then you can laugh privately. Wait. It's not like you have a lot of time on your hands right now. Look after me. Girl. I was like, all right,

well, when I was in Paris, I literally, we planned, like we made reservations at a restaurant. And we were like, it said it was like upscale attire. So they were like, we dressed nice and we went. And it was not too far from where we were staying.

So we just walked there. And when we walked up, there was like a bunch of bouncers, which first of all, what the fuck is their security doing outside of a restaurant? Like, what the fuck is going on in there? And so then we go up and we send Alex because she's white. And we're like, you go, tell them. And she goes and she's like, oh, I have a reservation. And they're like, you have a reservation. She's like, yeah, what time?

And then she tells them and she has her name and we're like, you know. like 20 minutes early. And they said to be 20 minutes early. And then they're talking amongst themselves. Someone goes inside. Someone comes out. And then they come and talk to us. And they're like, yeah.

So like there's no reservations available. And we were like, even though we made one. And then he goes, yeah. I just like, I don't know where you guys made it. We're like on open table. Yeah. On the website that is connected. It's like connected to your website.

Yeah. He's like, yeah. Yeah, no. They, like, didn't even have a good, like, fake excuse. Like, they were just like... For the white girl? Yeah, well, once she came and stood with us, they were like, hold on, cancel that reservation.

Yeah. And then, like, they were like, we're full, we're busy, and I'm like, okay. And then we turned and we saw, like, a group of like 10 white girls walk right in. Oh, of course. No reservation, no nothing. And I was like, oh, okay. So I took a picture of it, and I was like, hey, fuck this restaurant, by the way. It's called Mama Mia Paris.

Fuck them. I literally posted it. I'm like, hey, fuck this fucking restaurant. They're fucking racist. Like, I posted it everywhere. Yeah. And then they blocked me. Because people were commenting on their thing.

They're like, I didn't know you. They're like, oh, food was okay, but the racism was really bad. Like they were writing shit like that, like Yelp reviews on their fucking Instagram. Good. I love that. And I got blocked by them. So you are racist. Yeah.

Yeah. So you guys. Okay. Yeah. For sure. But really quick, I do want to ask you a question about your content. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Hard pivot. but it's about your content. Okay. So your reaction videos were one of some of the first ones I ever saw about you. How did you get into those? I'm so curious. I don't know.

Well, those end when you're singing when someone's hot. That was the first one I did. I did one, which was for basically, do you know Doctor Who? Yeah. Sorry. I never watched it, but I am familiar. Okay. And I know that guy is also, no, the other one.

He's also in House of Dragon. What's his name? Oh, him. Matt. Something. The white guy and the uncle in house of dragon. Matt Smith. Matt Smith.

That's right. That's Matt Smith. Sorry, just literally came to me. Matt Smith. Yeah, no. Him. He was a Doctor Who, right? He was a Doctor Who, but there's, so like, because Doctor Who's like our show.

That's y'all's show. Yeah, that's our fucking show. So when I grew up, Doctor Who, you have like your own, like people, because it's been going for years, people have their doctor. Yeah. Their favorite one. Yeah. So mine is David Tennant.

He's an act called David Tennant. I would literally, if it were raining and there were a puddle, I would lay myself on the puddle so he could walk over me. That's how much I love him. And that's on period. So yeah, I did a sing if you find attractive. And he was one of the people that came up in this. So that's when I scream.

And then people all clipped that. Yeah. So, and then, so it posted that and people just adore me. I guess like I've charmed everyone. They finally recognized, I'm amazing. But yeah, and then from then did like just reaction videos to like food to that guy that chops wood. And that's just, I guess, become my thing. Period.

People like my reaction. I don't understand. I feel like it's just like, I'm just like. You're just not charming. I'm just feeling. Wait, I do have another question. The Great British Baking Show. Yeah.

That's my favorite show of all time. Really? I fuck so heavy with that show. It's cool. Crazy. What I would do to get on that show, bitch, if you're ever watching this. They have a celebrity one. I know. I've seen it. Stand up for cancer. I saw it. I saw Jade Thorewall on there. I saw Liza Koshi on there.

Really? KSI on there. Piss off. Liza Koshi was on. Yeah, on the celebrity one. I saw it. She's not even from here. I know, girl. That's what I said. Send me over there, bitch. I know I talk shit. You, y'all, this is what I will say. Although I talk shit on your food, your pastries are out of this world. We have fantastic pastries.

Out of this world, bitch. Victoria sponge. we had a Victoria Sponged. I did not have that. But I did have a couple like pastries and like croissants. That's not us. Whatever the fuck. I had it.

I had it there and it was delicious. Yeah. Yeah, it was very good. Yeah. Y'all are murdering pastries. Keep it up. Thank you. Yeah.

We're good job. Yeah. It sounds like white people, one one thing white people can do is bake. Yeah, we can bake. You can bake, bitch. That's the thing. I feel like, make your ass off. Yeah.

No. Bake off I could never go on because I can't bake. Me either. No. That's what I said, bring me on. I'm as a contestant like with the normal people I'm going to go out week one easily but I will tell jokes the whole time

I'm gonna do bits Yeah I'm do bits everyone needs that Bits the whole time And then they're gonna be so charming by me They hire me as a third host Yes That's my evil plan No that would be great

I feel like you and Noel Fielding Oh period bitch I don't know if he still does it Did he still do it? Yeah he does I fucking love him Me too And him would just

Mew Oh I love it I feel like with that My favorite part about that is that everyone is so nice to each other on that show. Cooking shows in America, bitch. They're like, I'll kill you with a gun. They are so aggressive on them here.

What's in the contestants? Yeah. And the judges are so cutthroat too. Really? They're mean as fuck to each other here. Oh, no. But like there, it's all good vibes and they're all competing for a fucking cake. Because we're baking fucking cake.

I'm sorry. Could you imagine us being cunts while we're baking cakes? Like, I'm about to put this fucking Victoria sponge in the oven, but fuck you all. And the prize is literally that fucking cake stand. And that's it. Yeah. That is so funny. And also just the knowledge that you've won.

Oh, yeah. The friends you made along the way. Yeah. That's the best part. Well, there's one woman that won. She's a hijabi. I've forgotten her name. I know her.

And she's a big fuck off. Fuck off now. She's huge. Really? Is it like, like as a success. Successfully. Successfully she has really made it. I love that season too.

I am obsessed with that show. Every time the new season comes out, I'm like, tuned it. bitch. Do you have Master Chef? Yeah. We have Master Chef and we have Master Chef Jr. too, which is kids. The children. The kids. That one guy that's like, my potatoes. Yeah. He's like, my potatoes. Yeah, there is one where they like, they're like, okay, you're on two separate sides of the kitchen. And then it's like, each side has an obstacle. So like one, their oven is across the way and they can't cross the line to go cook. So it's literally like American Ninja Warrior and cooking, which I find to be insane. Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

entertainment i guess americans just how can we make this more insane yeah like one was like they were outside at like and there was like a campfire and it was like literally the only oven they had was a campfire and like a little griddle thing cut throw kitchen that's what it's called cutthrow kitchen well it's in the name and the guy like he had a really long rod and that was the only way that he could cook his food like he had to go and like put it over and then he was like trying to cook it from fucking 100 yards away no i wouldn't i just wouldn't go on I'm sorry. If I was like a proper cook chef and they said, welcome to set.

Today you're going to be cooking, but you're on in an igloo. Yeah, but there are live alligators. Good luck. Yeah, enjoy. I say goodbye. Like, have you seen, have you watched Chopped? No. Oh, chopped is crazy.

I don't really watch cooking things. If you look at Chopped versus Great British Bake Off, it's insane. Like chopped, well, they cook savory foods, but they do an appetizer, a main and a dessert. And each round someone gets chopped. So it's like you end up, you start with four. end up with two but they give you a basket and it's like four fuck-ass ingredients and they're like make something bitch and you have 30 minutes and they're literally like time yeah and they're and they're trying to cook everything like make something girl see that would be yeah no it's so like

I don't do cook I don't cook me I don't watch cooking shows really yeah mine is only the great British makeup I don't think that counts because it's baking yeah no well I love it do you watch is it is it I have never watched it but I do know what it is it's it's it's just it's just That's, you get to like the fourth episode and you're like, yeah, it's cake. Yeah, there's not much longevity in that show is there. Like, is it cake? I'm glad you don't cook either, neither do I. My man does.

I cook. I don't. Oh. I mean, I can. At all. You can. You just don't. Do you do that, like, actively you refuse to cook?

No, it's more so like, why would I if my man prefers to do it? True. Yeah, if he prefers, like, why would you? Yeah, he's like, no, I don't want you in here. Like, it's going to stress me out. I'm like, oh. I'll go sit on the couch. Oh, call me when it's ready.

Call me when it's ready. Literally. Oh, see, but at the same time, people will see that and be like, but you're a woman. Yeah. A woman who doesn't cook and you can eat that. You better go to hell. Go straight to hell. Your man cooks for you.

Burn. Burn in hell. Is what they say. He loves cooking. No, I like that. And he's good at it. Period. I do actually want you to go to hell.

And he's six four. I love that for me. Oh, I actually fucking hate me. I just said, I just said I'm going through a breakup. Drew? Do you want to just, kill me that would be really nice okay

it's all right I'll manifest someone for you please someone who does that six four well yeah I'd like him strong well I don't mind if he doesn't if he can cook no I want him to cook

because what the fuck is wrong with you why don't you have basic life skills yeah what the hell I'm getting really sick and tired of like someone was what was it there was this one video sorry I'm really going off a tangent because I'm getting really sick and tired

of men just getting absolutely the benefit of the doubt it's just really fucking pissing You're telling me. But there was one video of the guy and he was like, it was like him cleaning a kitchen and like cleaning his house and he was like, one thing my wife will never be is a single married mother. Basically to say like, I also help in the house.

Oh my God. Well fucking done. Yeah, fucking. I'm getting rid. And all the comments are like, oh, girl. Give him the key to the city. He deserves it. Girl.

What? Are we deranged? Girl, the way I've talked shit on that too, I'm like, I literally, on my episode with Brett Neustrum, we were joking about it because I'm like, men would be like, I don't hate your fucking muffin top and then women are like protect this one girl fuck him and his mom like that's just not real what do you mean no what do you mean what do you mean it really it really and it's a million likes yeah and it's like oh god he's such a real you're why so lucky is i don't believe it because you wash the fuck up what it really uh anyway well when they do basic human life skills and then

they're like wow what it's insane but that's also sad too because it's like a testament to how rare that is that women find that and revere it, which is a fucking bummer. But like, it's not their fault they feel that way, but it is our responsibility to diagnose it. To say, well done. That's not, that's like bare minimum shit, bitch. Like, he remembered your birthday. Yeah, he fucking should. You've been dating for 10 years. And you're still not married, which is totally fine if that's what you want. If that's what you want. But if it's not. And he's saying, oh, I just don't believe in marriage because shut the fuck up. Get out on my face.

Get out on my face. I'm like congrats. Tell that to the next bitch. Bye. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's why I'm like... But it makes me so sad for women.

I know. It's all right. Good thing they have us. So charming and beautiful. Yeah. I am charming and beautiful. Period. Okay.

To round out this episode. Yes. I'll ask you. Go on. What is your best piece of advice for Americans when they're going over to the UK? And then on the flip side, Brits, when they're coming over here. Any advice? Sorry, my stomach's mumbling.

I'm going to think about this one because I really want it to be as serious. one. Me going back onto drugs. No. No, I do want it to be. Okay. Americans going over to the UK.

Mm-hmm. Practice. Practice hiding your accent. Yeah. Because immediately we hate you. Yeah. And I'm sorry. It doesn't matter what you look like.

Yeah. We hate you. Yeah. Practice doing a British accent? Practice, but like a good British. Not like an American British accent. Not like Dig Van Dyke. Yeah.

Every time I see British people, they're like, what's the word? British accent you've ever seen portrayed in film and they're like every single one of them said Dick Van Dyke. Well, his isn't the worst. I think, you know Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones? It's fucking shit. But I love him.

I love him. I love him down. Yeah, but no, that was shit. Yeah. But there's nothing worse than a bad British accent. Just like there's nothing worse than a bad. Anyone trying to do an accent that's not their own and you're like, what the fuck was that?

Get a dialect coach. I was going to say, do you hate that when Americans like, they're like, wait a day it. And they start talking to you. in a British accent. What, in a British? Yeah. Like when you just tried to do it

when I first came? I was like, okay. Well, when you sat down and we opened the show and I did that, that was specifically because I know you hate it. Yeah. Okay, fine. Yeah.

That was making me feel comfortable. Oh, just a silly-billy mood. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah, no, I hate it. Yeah. No, don't suppress your accent. Just don't expect things to be big. Yeah.

Yeah, most things. Our penises. Our food size. Our food size. Our people. Your food size. It's huge. It is.

Fuck me. It is big. Fuck me. Period. Honestly. Anyway, no. Okay. That's what I would say for going to the UK.

Other than that. For Brits coming here. Brits coming here. Any advice? Don't. Yeah. I don't think there's any good advice. You're going to have to live through it.

It's a canon event. You got to experience it. You have to experience coming here. when you go shopping expect to be harassed yeah you guys just don't leave us the fuck alone yeah why why they're obsessed with an accent why even you don't even have to speak and it's like hey how are you can't can't can't that is so real that is so true leave me the fuck alone i went in one tesco when i was in the UK Tesco yeah i went in one i just won and the way that that cashier he won't even look at you he wouldn't have cared if i died in front of him like he didn't have cared if i died in front of him

Like he did not give a fuck about me. And I loved that. Like I walked up and he was literally like, what? I was like, bitch, I'm trying to buy something. Shit. I'm like, like I walked into his home. But I fuck with it. Like someone who leaves me alone?

Leave me alone. Yeah, it's pretty bad here. But it's like, when it's like, when I walk in, I'm like, oh, I'm just looking. Thank you. And they're like, great, no worries. Can I get you, um, everything? And then you're looking at clothes and you're like, can I open a, can I set up a fitting room for you? Yeah.

No, you're fucking car. I don't want a fucking giant. It really annoys me. It sends me into like an absolute rage that I just want to like, away from me. Fis cock back. But I won't. It's okay though.

But that's what I would say. Prepare to be harassed. Prepare to be hated. Don't comment on the weather. Just don't fucking do it. Yeah. For the best. It's for the best.

Just be British. Also just try and suppress your colonialism. There you go. Recognize it. Yeah. Because I think as well the reason we hate you guys is also because. Because we naturally just hate anyone that isn't British. Yeah.

But like in a polite way. Not in a French way. Yeah. Yeah, the polite way of British people being rude is crazy. It is so funny to me. Like when they're being rude or they're trying to be rude, they're trying to insult you. Yeah.

And it's so like, it just sounds like a riddle to me. Yeah. Like I'm like, you're crazy. A lot of our like speech, language is Shakespearean. Yeah. So like... It sure is, girl. Like, I'd call you like a dirty washcloth.

And that would be. like it you mongoose and that's it that's that's an insult we don't read that's the thing i don't feel like we're good at reading people yeah absolutely that's an american thing we're awful we are terrible i find it hilarious the way that you guys insult people i find that so funny it is so polite proper are you fucking kidding me yeah are you kidding me right now that's why when i hear when i hear british people will cuss and shit and they really be going in i'm like and that's on period bitch because i feel like i'm watching like a dog walk on its nine legs it's not scary asshole. Like if you go out in the UK and you go like and see men drunk and they're about to fight

and they're like, oh, are you fucking having me on? When you look at it, you're like, oh, it's embarrassing. Yeah, that's right. Everyone, when Love Island became a big thing here. And they're like, what do they say? Are you mugged me off? Yeah, he mugged me off. Yeah, he's mugged me right off. He's mugged. Am I mug? Yeah. But the thing is, but at the same time, don't let that be a representation because I feel like everyone that goes into Love Island is a pussy. Really? How are you not fighting? That's so funny. Not that it has to be...

I saw your video this morning about Love Island. How are you not fucking fire? How is someone snogging your man? Oh, girl. How is someone kissing your person that you're paired with? How are you in an argument with someone and you haven't said, do you want a fucking fight? I'm in, I'm in there and I'm causing drama. 1,000%!

Like I'm not, I'm not getting coupled up. I'll probably go out first. I'm causing... 1,000. They'll keep you in just for that. There you go. I'm starting fires everywhere. I'm making alliances.

It makes no sense to me. And also, God forbid, I'm ever stood up in a line, waiting for a man to say, yeah, I want to couple up with her. Wait, praying that I get picked by a man. Don't forbid that ever happen to me. Don't ever. Don't put me in that position. If they ever said, okay, this part of the filming,

we're going to have you all in the line, and they're going to come and walk to her and say who they find the most attractive. I'd like to go home, please. I'd like to go home, no. No, thank you. Actually, cut that. Also, I watched the USA version of Love Island. I like the British one better.

Yes. You know what I fuck so heavy with on that show? is that they're so fucking honest. Like they're literally like, I was fucking with you heavy. But he came in and he's way harder than you. So I'm out. Peace and love though. Good luck to you.

Hope you don't go home. They are really strong. Heavy with that. Someone's, they really have warrior mentality. I don't know how you can live through that. They're stronger than us. They should be drafted.

Dude, imagine it's just all Love Island people. That'd be crazy. That would be insane. We'd lose. But I feel like we'd lose everyone. Okay. So we talked about all kinds of shit.

Everything. All kinds. Everything. And you obviously, because you're so funny and we fucking talked about all kinds of funny shit, but I love you as a concert creator. I think you're amazing. Ayame also does stand up, by the way. No, I fucking don't.

You do. I refuse actually. No. Your live shows that you were doing. Yeah. I think you're hilarious. Doing is that we're doing past tense. Never doing again.

Thank you. But I think you're hilarious. Thank you. And I think that you're. So talented and I think everyone should follow Ayame. Where can everybody find you? Well, my name is Iami and I am on TikTok and Instagram. This is like really like I'm like, I'm on TikTok and Instagram.

They'll put it below you too. Oh, well, you can follow me right here. Ayame.combe.com. It's Japanese, but I'm not Japanese. Anyway, colonialism. Right. Period. That's me. And do you have a podcast?

I do. It's called In E&Met We Trust. That's why I find it like, sitting here, I'm like, fucking hell, just end the podcast. Because it's literally, I did a podcast episode the other day and I was in my bed. In my bed, turn on my camera and I was like, hi, guys, I come in here and it's like, Mark.

What? Yeah, that's my part. Sorry, In A Make Me Too Trust. Yes, absolutely. Make sure y'all follow AOMA on literally everything. And go listen to her podcast. I watch your clips all the time. It's a waste of time.

There's a fucking, yeah, I can listen to you, talk forever. Stop. Yeah. Should we kiss? After. Oh. I got ready.

Well, after I'm going to line you up and then I'm going to let you know if I pick you and couple up with you. Oh, yeah. As you should. That's the finale. As you should. Yeah. Where's the line hug?

I mean. All right. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show. Thank you to my amazing guest. A. I remember to go follow her on everything. Listen to her podcast. She's hilarious as I'm sure you guys already fucking know.

And thank you all so much for tuning in. to this very special episode. Remember, all comment section episodes are available every Wednesday. You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, or you can watch the video for free exclusively on Spotify. Stop fucking asking me where the video lives. Please, I'm begging you. Tell your friends.

It's only on Spotify. It's nowhere else. It's only on Spotify. That's the third time I said it. Please hear me. Okay, I love you all so much. Thank you so much, Jayama. Thank you to all of you.

And I'll see you next week. Bye.