The Creep Off - #1 Every awful thing starts somewhere

Episode Date: March 3, 2020

In the inaugural episode of the Creep Off Vinnie & Karl explain the rules. They also learn about a drunk bus-driver, a really high nurse, and the worlds worst plumber/doctor in the Scum Parade. This weeks competition features a toe to toe battle between the T-1000 of cyber trolls & an 8 year old girl with prostate problems...who will win? you decide!

It's... It's the queen of course. It's the cream off. Watch out. This is the inaugural episode of The Creep Off. We are your creep Somaliers. My name is Vinny. This is my pal Carl. Carl, say hello to the people. What is happening? Vinny, what is happening the people? They are tuning into our very, very first episode of the show and probably want an explanation as to what this goddamn thing is about. You know what? Chances are, people listening to this are just going back to the back catalog. They're huge fans of the show. They picked up around episode 78, 82, and now they're going back. Like, how do this thing

So they already know what this is. But go ahead. Tell them what it is. Well, folks, today we are going to tell you the stories of some terrible people. We're just going to read you the news. We might comment a little bit, but we're just going to let you know what's out there. After all, this show is in the true crime category. That's right.

We're in true crime. That's right. I hear that's popular on the internet. That makes a lot of sense. I like that. People say, so you're doing another project. Yes, it's about true crime. I think it's going to legitimize me.

minimize me. What the fuck are you doing? True crime. Yeah, true crime. And you know what? Here's the thing about that. Like, people will think that we're doing something halfway sophisticated. Well, it's important.

What we're doing right now is important. People need to know about this stuff. They do. And I feel like everybody tries to do, like, hey, it's Florida man. Hey, it's just, no. We're going to find you the real scumbags. Yeah. And odds are we're going to make fun of them a little.

Well, it's creeps is what we're talking about for the most part. Correct. Creepy people. People who do terrible things. Everything that we say is just alleged. We're just reading the news. We don't know if anyone's actually committed crimes or anything like that. We should probably should have consulted a lawyer before we recorded this, but we will say this.

We are going off of websites. We are going off of news stories from reputable news organizations. Well, I have the New York Post, but yeah, for the most part. Fake news, carl. Reputable. So I feel like. this is going to be a very interesting ride. Now, here's going to be the fun part.

We're going to take you, tell you some stories about some creeps in just a minute, but before we do, just want you to know that at the end of this show, we want you to visit our website, the creepoff.com, and we want you to vote at the end of this for whose creep is the worst. This show is a contest. It is a contest. Every episode is a contest. That's right.

You are joining us right now. We haven't fired the starting gun yet, but there is a contest coming, and we need your participation in it. we need you to judge so we're each trying to make our case for who we think is the biggest creep each and every week and then the listeners will let us know

who won the case that's correct so if you think that my creep is the worst creep you would vote for me which you will or if you thought that Carl I don't like what you're doing I don't like what you're doing right now you're trying to plant the seed

that people should vote for your creep who me? I don't like that many I feel like you're talking more than I am. I feel like you're planting seeds. God forbid anybody. Talk more than Carl. Yeah, right? How much fun could that be? So here's going to be the very funnest part for you, the listener. We want you to participate and we're going to make it worth your wild to do so. There is going to be hopefully starting for our second episode. Now you are in for a two episode commitment. Do you understand? Right, because you've got to find out who wins. Right. We're not going to know who won

this week. We're going to know who won next week. But we are going to have a point system. It's a very simple. For each one of us who wins a creep off, if I win this week, I get one point. If Carl wins, he gets one point. Oh, wait, oh, back up, back up. Wait, what? Explain that again? That's very complicated. I said if they're in the... All right, we get it. Moving on. But there's going to be a wheel. A wheel of consequences. Oh, right. The wheel of consequences. I almost forgot. The wheel of consequences. Fuck. Not looking forward to that. Well, folks, we want you to help us fill in that wheel. All of it's bad. None of it's bad. of it's good. Correct. And whoever gets to five points gets to spin the wheel and the loser

has to do whatever's on the wheel. Oh boy. It's going to be like spin the bottle but way creepier. Yeah, baby. So are you ready to start off the show with our very first edition of our opening segment, the scum parade? The Skum Parade These are my peeps The Skum parade It's nothing for creeps The Skum parade

I'm Karol and Vinny's show Vinnie and Carl show I didn't realize Jed from the Jigles Department screwed up the lyrics on that Oh yeah she definitely didn't read that copyright I'll let her know So we're going to start off

Because we want to talk about More than just two creeps so we're going to talk about the scum parade here starting off with an oklahoma school bus driver accused of driving drunk with students on board this is a 64 year old man who was pulled over and they spent a little alcohol on his breath and it turns out driving a school bus full of children while drunk not legal huh i got to tell you i thought those kids probably had the time of their lives on the way to school This guy's 64 years old. He was blasting the who.

Dude, you know he's the cool bus driver. Yeah, absolutely. He's the guy that the kids don't fuck with. There's a bandana. And he's like, all right, kids, you just keep it cool. I'll keep it cool. You know, it's funny, too. I don't think it says in the article if it was the morning route or the afternoon route.

But I got to think it's the morning route, right? This guy was up drinking all night. Absolutely. He's a bus driver. He's 64 years old. What does he have to live for? If you're 64 years old and you knew the next day you had to deal with other. people's problems all morning.

Dude, I stay up drinking all night now. And I'm not even a bus driver, so I get it. All I can picture is that old guy from Billy Madison, like, I've had a few shot at A's one of it. Right. Well, I got a creep to add to the scum parade, Carl. A Texas nurse. That's right.

A Texas nurse named Kyle Evans. He's 29 years old. He allegedly stole vials meant for patients so he could inject himself with pain medicine. Did I mention he has HIV? Oh, fuck. And did I mention that he then refilled the vials with another liquid? Hopefully not semen or blood?

Well, right, because those two liquids would have HIV then, which would be a problem, I would imagine. He saw where I was laying down. Yes, I saw what you were laying down. Evans later admitted to injecting the drugs with a syringe while working, telling investigators he refilled the vials with a saline solution and glued the top shut. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

What's your love with you? Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Kyle Evans. Don't trust the male nurse people. Look at this eyes on this guy. Look at the empty eyes. Well, this he's on painkillers. In his defense, he's been doing drugs all day. Intervenous painkillers will make the spark disappear.

I mean, you're tempting someone with a little bit too much when that's around you at your job. right? I don't have painkillers at my work that I can take with a syringe. All this guy heard was, all around me are familiar faces. And he's just looking at a light,

a board that's lighting up with all the people who need help, and he's just like slipping into the fucking painkiller coma. Great stuff. People who listen to our podcast can't see what that guy looks like. We don't know if people have listened to this yet, to be fair, even. That's true. So either they didn't hear

you said and or couldn't see the picture of the person you were talking about if i sing a terrible song and do a microphone and no one hears it did i actually ever do it i heard it i heard it you're not a person that's a good point all right listen to this speaking of hospital workers great transition a florida hospital worker allegedly was caught sucking a patient's toes now i know what you're thinking ha who hasn't sucked a toe or two Especially in a hospital. When someone's asleep. It's cleaner than looking the floor.

So I'm not opposed to a little toe-sucking. However, this man, France, 23 years old, was charged with battery on a person 65 years or older, which I didn't realize was part of the law. So are you allowed to suck the toes of like a middle-aged person? That's what I'm wondering, because it makes it seem like that was the problem. with it. It's like, the judge

would said, ew, gross. When asked for comment, he responded with, it was the tastiest sponge path I ever gave. Oh, my God. They don't mention whether the victim was a male or a female. Does it matter? No, it really does not. A foot is a foot, Carl.

Well, hold on a second. What do you say that all feet aren't great and equal? I've seen some pretty hot 66-year-old women. Yeah. So, I mean, if it's a dude, that's kind of weird. But you really got to open your mind. Fair enough. You got to open your mind.

But here's the thing. I read this guy's defense of this. Yeah. And he claimed that he only dropped his cell phone and he was just picking it up. That's amazing. How could you possibly fall into a towel? You've never accidentally just been walking and fall and all of a sudden found a 65-year-old. And a geriatrics foot flat in your mouth.

And here's the thing. This patient, she goes, I look at the search, she goes, she woke up to the feeling of touching her foot. It was wet, slimy feeling, and it happened three times. It says right here, at first the patient thought it was just a nurse checking in. Then it happened again, and then a third time. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That'll do it. If someone's sucking my toes, I don't wake up right away. There needs to be two or three times. I just pretend to sleep. I do the old Anthony Kumia. Zip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip, sip. And just really just inside be like, oh, this is the best thing that I looked down and I realized it's this 23 year old weirdo. Hey, that's fucked up.

You dream your way, I'll dream mine. All right. Hey, is it my turn? Let's do it. Let's close out the scum parade with a real scummy person because this guy, yeah, this is a bad one. Dad who ejected drain cleaner into daughter's intestines gets 16 to 18. 18 years. My God.

Wait, wait, wait. He injected it into his daughter's intestines? Correct. Like, via her mouth, or how does that work? Do I have to draw you a map of where intestines are? He either injected it into her lower abdomen or, you know, a field poop shoe. Wow. Yeah.

You get it now? No. I honestly still don't get it. Christopher Connolly. What? 37. North Hampton. Massachusetts was sentenced to 16 to 18 years at prison Monday. This is, uh, this article was dated

225.20. So like last week, Conley injected liquid plumber into the girls' intestines in April of 2015. And it's taken almost five years to get this guy sentenced to jail. I don't even understand. Conley's defense attorney sought a sentence of seven and a half years. That's wishful fucking thinking. What was he trying to accomplish with that? That's a weird way to try to kill someone. Listen, get her some fiber. I don't know what you need to clean off the pipes that bad for, dude.

Yeah. Mr. Mangala, this guy. By the way, Vinny, I think the biggest creep this week is your creaky chair. Your chair is so fucking creaky. It's not used to my girth. Nothing is.

Nothing's used to your girth. You know who's happy right now? My couch. i'm not on it um yeah i really am just moving around i'm way too happy tonight i like to be doing this episode so that was this week's scum parade now carl i feel like it's time for the main event are you ready for the creep off let's get into it and now it's time for us to decide who is the worst of the worst the most hated in curse the first creep off they're right now uh would you like to go first or second car i will i will you're in a new studio you look very afraid because there's actual microphones. So you're very used to doing this. And I'm not trying to say, I'm not trying to make

excuses for myself, but you've been doing the creep off thing for a number of years. I got a problem. Yeah, I know. You're into this kind of thing. I'm a little bit new to this format. So I'm going to defer to you to go first so I can kind of learn the ropes a little bit and also heckle you with my soundboard. Okay. All right. Well, I have some audio clips myself over here. Oh, good. So, Carl, my creep, his name is Jake Englner. Okay. And he is from Melbourne, Australia. And I'm just going to ask you a question.

Melbourne. Melbourne. Carl, have you ever had a problem with a Sheila back in pro-mary? Yeah, that story checks out. Okay. Well, this guy, Jake, he is a convicted cyber criminal. He walks free from jail after harassing a cancer victim. harassing a cancer victim, like, because I could be accused of harassment.

Oh, sure. With what I do on a daily basis. Sure. Can you define that a little bit better? I guess what I'm trying to say is. Would you tell me what the harassment is? I will tell you exactly what the harassment is, Your Honor. By playing this clip from a very harsh-sounding Australian reporter.

Okay. I will stop and stop this throughout. But I feel like this woman pretty much sums up this case pretty damn well for me. Here we go. Here's a taste. Diane Russell, lost her. her beautiful daughter Renee to breast cancer. The 24-year-old spent her final days

being tormented by cyber stalker, Jake Engelena. It just added extra stress onto her, knowing every day, every night, messages coming through early hours of the morning. The South Morang Man hadn't seen Renee since primary school until he found her working at his local supermarket and started bombarding her with violence. Can you pause it?

I can. Is she doing Australian accent on personal? best, I feel like it's so over the fucking top. The news is from Australia. No, I know, but it sounds like she's trying to do an Australian accent. I know. That's how I would sound if I was trying to be Australian. You know what's so funny is that's probably like the non-regional diction of Australia.

Yes. The same way here, like all reporters try to sound the same. They probably do the same thing there. I hope people are making fun of her in Australia for the way that she talks Australian. I hope so. That's all I'm trying to say. All right. I was getting distracted by the accent.

I'm listening. I'm focused. Okay. I'm in. I'm in. So so far, this guy. this guy runs into her this girl that he knew in primary school

that apparently he didn't like very much got cyber stalked her got her information in starting or sending her messages what kind of message you asked Carl here's one you're nothing more than a bimbo who works at Coles sad really working at a dead end job

for the rest of your life that's pretty good that's a pretty good joke so like okay you send it once this guy for a year or so is sending her messages Day of night all the time. Why not change her number? This guy still figured it out.

So check this out. When she was diagnosed with cancer, he wrote, Renee should have breast cancer. It'll make her appreciate life. Not a nice guy. Wait a second. That wasn't as good a joke as the deadhead job at Coles thing. Oh, it wasn't as sick of a burn, but I'll say.

It wasn't as sick of burn for sure. It's a creepy thing to send to someone who's dying of cancer. Hey, I heard you got cancer. Sucks for you. Yeah. And, you know, when he said to her, like, how you get to spend the rest of your life working at Coles, there wasn't much of it left because she dies. The breast cancer got her. Yeah.

And this is why I picked this guy. Listen to the rest of this, Carl. When Renee died, Engelena targeted her friend Belinda and cousin Madison. On the day that Renee had passed away in the day of her funeral and saying things about her corpse and the things he would do to her. Wanting videos, photos, things like that, of course, made him call. angry not having a response he started sending messages to friends and family members telling him what he would like to do to her corpse this guy isn't a creep he's the world's greatest troll this is amazing no carl he's nothing will stop this guy he's like i'm trolling

this chick she died fuck that i'll troll her friends i don't give a shit yeah i'm not stopping now i'm on a roll like i think like not for nothing i don't want to basically alienate our audience but Incells are icky. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. Did they ever tell you what their ages are? The girl's ages? Either of them, because they went to school together, so they must be the same age. She was 24 years old.

Oh, so, all right, so these are young people. So check this out. I'm about to show you a picture of them up on your screen. Okay. All right, here we go. Just check this out. I think Alana started. Okay, yep, that's an in cell.

That's an insult, all right. Oh, Jesus. This guy is involuntarily, yeah. Unless he was in. able to get his way with that corpse. Unless someone left that corpse unattended. Yeah. He's an in-cell, baby.

He might have gotten lucky. So listen, wait, do you hear the rest of this story? There's more? Yeah. But here's the thing. He got convicted of this. And he was sentenced to jail, Carl. He was literally found guilty.

Guilty of what? Of being a shithead? This is against the law? Yeah, cyber-stalking people. Okay. Okay. He was sentenced to eight-month prison term, right? Now this is Australian law, so like he maybe stepped on a kangaroo or something.

I have no idea. Right. Campaign of young women in 2015. For three years straight, he stalked a total of five victims, including Renee, Belinda, and Madison. He pleaded guilty last year and was given eight months jail. But immediately released on appeal bail. And today, the 27-year-old sentence was slashed to a two-year community corrections order, including mental health supervision. Engelena's mother has promised the court that she will monitor her son's online activity.

Yeah, he's out and Bobby's watching him. He's out and Bobby's watching him. This is a third world country? What the fucking law is that? My mom said she'll watch me. It's fine. It's all good. I don't know who should win here.

The courts? Or, I mean, this is such a crazy story to me that he harassed this woman, told him what he like friends and family, what he wants to do with their body. Like, oh, well, you know, his. them all. Watch him. He'll be fine. What don't you fucking understand? Oh, man. So, Carl,

yeah. This is a real didgerie don't. Yeah. Oh, you don't sell my jokes, you bastard. Sorry. Hey, I don't care. Let's try it again. You know, Carl, this is a real didgerie don't. This dude is fucking corny. That's accurate.

That's what you get. That's accurate. So the man created fake identities to repeatedly track down the victims. And like I said, he harassed this girl. after she was dead. Beat that. You got somebody who did worse than that? I think I might have you beat.

All right. This guy is a creep and an in-sell. But I have a guy. I don't have an audio clip here. I'm just going to read you the story. This is Joseph Gobrick. And Joseph Goebrick is a Michigan pervert who defended himself over a stash of kiddie porn

that was found in his computer. Okay, so the guy had kitty porn and he decided to defend himself in court? Correct. never a good move no no it's never a good move and he had an interesting angle on it vinny he claims to identify as an eight-year-old girl so you're saying trans being trans is creepy how dare you sir well let's get into it a little bit so joseph gobrook 45 years old put up the bizarre defense in kent county court excuse me you mean eight years old well i see this is

where it's going to get a little controversial he put up his defense before he was sentenced last week for up to 20 years in prison, and what he's told the court was, I've always been an eight-year-old girl. I've always been an eight-year-old girl. And even my drawings and fantasies, I am always an eight-year-old girl. I find this to be a weird statement to make when you get found with child porn. I find it to be a very convenient statement to make when you're caught with child porn. Well, he's literally never been an eight-year-old girl, first of all. So that doesn't help his case. Right. But secondly, what eight-year-old girl enjoys child porn.

How does that make it okay to have child porn? That's a solid point. I don't know a lot of eight-year-olds are like, you know what? I had to go rub one out. If he was caught with like a My Little Pony box set, sure, then that makes sense. But he has kitty porn on his computer. You don't know he isn't a brony. I don't think, he probably is.

I don't think you can pull the eight-year-old girl card to defend yourself from that. What he should have done is identified as a competent attorney. Would have made a lot more sense. All right. So the prosecutor's alleged at least eight minors were identified in graphic images on his computer. Children as young as infants were seen being sexually assaulted in the trove of kiddie porn. He was found guilty of three counts of child sexually abusive commercial activity and using a computer to commit a crime. Again, I feel like it's...

What crime? Living is truth. Yeah, I feel like they're just piling on. He used a computer to commit a crime. This is nothing. My guy's got a beat. Got her, has her beat. Hold on, hold on.

A guy has beaten an eight-year-old girl. There's more. So, he, um, he says to the judge, I would no sooner, he's trying to say that he's not a threat. I would no sooner have sex with a child than you would with a rattlesnake. It's just not safe. Now, dumb, dumb, the reason why we don't fuck rattlesnakes is not because of a safety issue. They don't even have a hole. It's not a safety issue, you dummy.

we're not attracted to rattlesnakes all right so this is where it gets fun the uh the prosecutor argued that he was a danger to the public claiming that he talked about and drew images of child rape while in jail so the judge gave him between 10 and 20 years what was he like in like a child's jail

or like it's that that's a good question it's archie crafts time he identifies his eight year old it's just like an ultra liberal court where they're just like okay he identifies his eight year old put him in his playpad he was given he was given He was giving the macaroni and Elmer's glue. What did you make? Is that someone raping a child?

He's got like a... I can't trust you with the macaroni anymore. He does like that turkey hand thing and it's just like five fingers in a kid. Dark. So, um, the, the judge said he showed no remorse. And he said, based on everything he said and done, including bragging about what he was drawing in his cell, he obviously doesn't think... Y'all want to see my pictures? He obviously doesn't say...

my pictures child sexually abusive material is wrong so this is what i thought was crazy he was bragging about his drawings well he wanted the guard to put it on the fridge i mean what how hot were these children that he was drawing why would you brag about it yeah did you see me drawing this picture of this 10 right here little stick figure arms that's fucking that's not so apparently um he's claiming that all that he's doing is virtual stuff but what that found on this computer were real people being sexually assaulted children being sexually assaulted

and for that I say this guy is a creep and should be the winner of the creep of I disagree Carl here's why number one yeah my creep Jake yeah there were victims now this guy watched videos

hold on the internet Jake actually stalked and harassed a woman who was dying of cancer on her deathbed and then told her family what he would do with the body you're claiming to me yeah that getting a text message makes you a victim because someone sent you a text message do you know what kind of fucking bullshit i have to read in my dms on a daily basis if every am i a victim viti yes all right that's my logic if you ruined that far man seriously i don't understand you could block people

did you know that you apparently not in australia you can it's something about the equator They have coals, but they don't have blocking? It's coals with a sea. Is that one of this? It's a stupid market. It absolutely is. I thought that was weird. I'm like, it's coal's that popular. They're all the way in Australia.

No, that makes more sense. Now, listen, I'm just trying to explain to you that this sweet little eight-year-old girl was just learning about herself in the world. And listen, what happens when you put a child on the internet? They find things that they shouldn't. So that's a good point. And if she is an eight-year-old girl and she's, found to have child porn on her computer. Innocent.

Innocent. Totally innocent. For sure. That's why I went. No way she's going to have problems later in life. No way at all. I love this thing where you can just like, and I don't blame the guy. It's like I'll just identify as something completely different than what I am.

The problem is he got it wrong. He should have been like a, I don't know, whatever the latest victim class is of people. It's not eight-year-old girls. Well, he was found guilty of what? Possessing child porn. Right, right. On this computer. So you can't argue with that.

But this guy was found guilty of harassing people, which I mean this, your guy is a creep. I agree. Your child, I mean, is a creep. But my guy, there was way more action, way more action on my side. Hey, that's fucked up. Agreed. All right. I just have an honorable mention for the creep for this week's creep off.

And I do have an audio clip for this. I know, you know, one of the guys is some losers. in Rochester fucking, you know who works for some fucking marketing fucking company. He's just a dickbag. Yep.

You know. I've never agreed with Stuttering John in my life. I want to think that Stuttering John if we had to take all three of these people now and look at their body of work, you know, I'm going for like a lifetime achievement

of creepiness. I got to think Stuttering John would be at the mix, right? Does he qualify? You know what? we'll throw them in there one of these days. All right. Well, I want to play them every week personally, but...

No one's going to stop you. No one's going to stop us. Those of you who are listening, this has been the first episode of the Creepoff. We hope you've enjoyed this silly little time we're having, talking about absolute atrocities and terrible, terrible people. Remember to act right, hug the ones you love, and vote Vinnie when you go to creepoff.com to place your ballot

for who is the winner of the Creepoff this week. Vote Joseph Goldberg. I had a way better case. See you next week. Gaghi. Like, what's my sign off going to be? Hold on. It's more important to be nice.

It's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice. That's funny. We should do that. It's ours now. All right. You do the first line. I'll do the second.

Remember, everybody. It's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice. Okay, gee. It's the creep off.