The Creep Off - #16 Right Off a Cliff! Take 2

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

Today is our very first themed episode of the Creep Off. Karl & Vinnie each make their nominations for "Creepiest Groomer not name Jeffery Epstein": In the Scum Parade we learn how not to ask a 15 year old out on a date, We meet a clueless congressional candidate and a pedophile who is using eBay all wrong.

way. I know you felt bad about this, but if you'll recall, I had you do an episode of these podcasts, and I totally fucked out. And there was like an echo going throughout the whole thing. This was years ago. So, we're even. Yeah, we're even. Yes. All right, let's do the show. Okay, let's do it. It's the Creepoff. Take two. How are you Creepo's doing this fine Monday? I totally changed this.

All right, cool. Why not? Why not? Listen, the thing is, I have to change it up now, so it feels like it's a fresh show. Ola Creeparinos. I'm Carl. With me this week. It's Vinie Paulino, everybody.

So this is Take 2. Yep. We recorded an episode yesterday that the equipment fucked up on, and we didn't realize that we weren't really recording it very well. So it's unusable. Right. It was an audio quality issue. Right. And the monitor sounded fine, and it just did not work out in the final rendering of the audio.

So sorry, everybody. So here we are with the same creeps, the same scum parade. And we're going to try to get the magic going yet again, Vinny. I felt good yesterday. It was the best episode we were recorded. I thought it was a really strong episode. I feel like we hit all of our cylinders. This was our very first themed episode.

We should say that up front. Yes. So we're going to be doing a theme in this next round. but we should also talk about what happened last week. Well, last week, I won. Yes. Yeah, I know. I saw that.

Please. It's going to make a pass. Man, this is a huge deal that's going down. So I... Still the people's champ, everybody. 48% of the vote. 48% of the vote. Over 48% of the vote.

I was so close. Very close. So close. No cigar. Apparently, when you go back in time and pull your creep, people don't take kindly to it. A lot of it. I want the current news. I thought Ariel Castro is someone that we needed to cover on this show.

Yeah, it's not like anything even happened to him because he's been dead. I know. You didn't know that. It's not like something to jail happen. So it was an update deep for you. You didn't even know he was dead. I didn't know he was dead. I thought it was a lot of fun.

I knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran to a black man's arms. They had giveaway. Yeah, give away. Now, if your story happened last week, I would have been killed. I mean, all my guy did was eat. out a one-year-old. I know. Yes, I mean.

It wasn't compelling at all. And he got his ass kicked for it. It was all good. Yeah, I mean, it was literally the only story we've ever done with a happy ending. Right. There was some comeuppance happening. But because of this asshole, you get to spin the wheel finally. Yeah, so that means you win.

And I will be spinning the wheel of consequences. That is correct. We're going to do that at the end of the show. Correct. I'm not looking forward to that. Let's just tease it. We did decide to add something to the wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what do we got on there?

We added a very special thing. This came to us from someone in the Discord. Did you know that Stuttering John wrote an autobiography, Carl? I do know that. He talks about it quite a bit. Oh, he does. Yeah, I've heard him talking about it. Interesting.

Yeah. Now, the consequence would be having to not only buy the book, not you can't get like the Apple version of it. You got to own the book and has to sit on your bookshelf forever. Do you think that's actually in print? Like, I could get an actual printed version of that book? No one's ever bought it before. We don't know.

We don't know if that exists or not, but I'll try. Well, I mean, you might have to buy it directly from him. Yeah. It'll be wet when you get it. He'll probably have to write it out. Oh, God. It's just folded pages. Yeah, it's his actual notebook.

I didn't think anyone's going to buy this here. Take this. So you're going to have to buy the book, read the book, then write a book report, 250 words. Yep. And then it has to be graded by an elementary school teacher. So this is the component that I like about this consequence is that it adds some fodder to our show. Correct. Because one of us is going to have to write a report on this.

And I'm a little bit concerned about how I'm going to be graded for that. It's been a while since I wrote a book report. So that's the tease. We're going to spin the wheel at the end of the show. It's 250 words. So the first four sentences are just going to be like, I really enjoyed this book. Stuttering John had a very interesting life. This book is about Stuttering John's interesting life.

It was very good. I think you have to read this thing I think I got it down I didn't know that you could stutter in type he was very he was very stupid all right that's the tease

that's the teaser on this show didn't we have another new one that we put on there too yeah we added a couple weeks ago we added a has to start your own only fans page oh yeah the only fans page that's fun which is

you know a chance for you to really get racy with it, Carl, and let the people know what you're about. Oh, that's a good point. No one's going to be on there, so I can pretty much say whatever I want. I don't know. If you get that,

I would probably have to subscribe just to see what the fuck is going on. Yes, all right. And you got a subscriber. I just want to see, like, who I'm letting into the studio every week. I need to know what's going on with you. I need to know what you're up to.

I just show up one day there's armed guards. What happened here? It's just the two of us. Yeah, you're going to be in that room over there. Yeah. That's the bathroom. room. By the way, I should mention that we do this show from the comedy club here in Rochester, and it's now open again. You guys had a show this past weekend. Oh, yeah. Indoor's people coming in

watching comedy again. So are they going to turn back on the air conditioning at some point, or I just have to melt in this fucking room? I hope you melt. Because if they have people employed here and hanging out, they might enjoy some AC. I don't know. Is it just turned off in your studio? No, just on your side. Okay. Just on your side. So, uh... Sweat me out. Every advantage you can get. Home field.

It got an extra day for your voting to make sure that I lost. You lost yesterday. That's true. That's a good point. Don't you even start. All right. Now listen, you. Yeah.

Bring that bell. Let's get this going. Let's do it. Vinnie's up first. Now, as defending champ. Here is the theme for this episode, ladies and gentlemen. The theme?

Something big that was in the news this week. Groomers. Yes. We are looking for creepiest groomer not named Jeffrey Epstein. So, without any further ado, I have to nominate this week a person who I love, actually, someone that I've always had a lot of respect for that really let me down if these accusations are true. Ladies and gentlemen, my creep this week is Mr. Jim Cornett. Oh, you love this guy.

We're going to the world of pro wrestling. You never shut up about this guy. He is just a gem. He has a wonderful Southern way about him. He has the gift of gab, and he's not a nice guy. And he's, let me tell you about him. Yeah, give some background because most people aren't wrestling freaks like you are. I'm not a freak.

He's one of the greatest heel managers of all time. He was a manager of the Midnight Express in the NWA. He was also Yokazuna's manager in WWF, notoriously has a bit of an anger issue. All this guy did was antagonize, and he was big in the 80s, so the shit he was doing was kind of... Before his time? Yeah, a little bit before his time. Yeah, he's good with the attitude era. He's good with the quip.

Here's an example of him cutting a promo on the American dream, Dusty Rhodes. And Dusty Rhodes also said that his sister could whip me on any street in America. Well, let me tell you something, Dusty Rose. I've heard a lot about your sister. I know she's been on a lot of streets, so she knows them real well. As a matter of fact, they used to call Dusty's sister Federal Express. Did you know that? When she went out on a date, she absolutely positively had to be there overnight.

Yeah. just he was the best asshole in the world and and that's pretty much they always say the best characters are the people who are just them right he's not putting it on no no no not about no he's really is like has a serious anger issue i'm not joking there is a very famous video filmed by allegedly by um the very very famous lead singer of fozzi chris jericho he's not famous because he's the lead singer of fossey maybe he's maybe he's a famous wrestler well in 1994 very late at the last at night, they go through the drive-thru of a dairy queen, and apparently they did not make

Jim Cornett's order fast enough for him. So I'm going to play this video for you, Carl. Please look to your screen. Hey, let me tell you something. God-God-down come from that fucking window cut. He's out of the car. Look at this doughy, middle-aged fucking guy.

Jimmy's open the window. We ordered the damn shit. But we're hungry, not because we wanted to fuck around. Don't cut me. You fucking ugly bitch. He's calling a dairy queen worker and ugly bitch. And he's, he got out of the car and has climbed through the drive-thru window and he's

screaming at the woman. By the way, if you ever yell at someone in a drive-thru and I'm with you, fuck off. Because I know I'm going to be eating the saliva as well. Right. He's doing no one any favors who's in that car. Like, yeah, I'm not going to have my shake. Now, that's fine. Thanks. So as much as you want to like Jim Cornett, he's had some controversy, the past

year in November, he quit unceremoniously the new version of the NWA that Billy Corrigan from Smashing Pumpkins started. Okay. Here is the clip of what he said as a commentator during a show. This is seriously, is he might as show?

Trevor Murdoch. He's mad, bad, and dangerous to know. He's the only man I've ever known to can strap a bucket of fried chicken on his back and ride a motor scooter across Ethiopia. Trevor Murdoch can take care of himself. That doesn't age well. I just wanted to say I didn't find that funny at all. You didn't find that funny at all. Nope. Nope. You weren't laughing hysterically. I can't see you on this. I wasn't laughing hysterically the first time I heard that or the second time. Okay. Just FYI. Not the funniest thing. Not the most culturally sensitive thing to say. He's threatened to murder co-workers. He's done all sorts of things. He's been physically removed from fan events for getting angry and getting in people's faces. But he's an interesting guy. He was also the head of OVW, which was Ohio Valley Wrestling. It was the WWE's performance thing before NXT.

So basically he ran all of the developmental league for the early, like mid-2000s. He had John Sina there, Brock Lesnar there. Okay, so it's the minor league for WWE. All the guys come up through there. Yeah, and he was running this. Okay. And he got fired. Well, everyone gets fired at worst for Vince McMahon.

Well, he got fired for smacking one of the guys across the face when he didn't keep K-Fave. He, like, assaulted a guy and just started smack. You can get fired from WWE for being. violent? Yes. How is that possible? That doesn't make any sense at all.

That's the story. And he freely admits it. He goes, I slap that motherfucker. He tells the story all the time. I bet there's a lot of people beating the shit out of a lot of other people behind the scenes. I'd hate to be the HR representative for WWE. It'd be a bad day. I'm sure they run to do a lot of problems with personnel.

And then he said he wanted to whoop your candy ass. Okay. Just fill it out fucking reports. Yeah. And he said that in front of how many people, 25,000? Not these days Okay, good point During this time when he was head of OVW

He married one of the valets One of the ring girls? Not really a ring girl Okay She's like maybe I don't know what an escort To the ring I don't know what that is

Okay, I know what an escort is Okay, I know what an escort is I don't understand how it works In the context of professional wrestling Well she like walks a wrestler to the ring And like she's like a manager basically She had to be like a hot piece of ass to get that job Well, I'm going to show you their wedding picture, Carl.

Okay. There you go. Oh, hey. Is that what you were expecting for that pudgy old white man? So wait, he married two dudes? In a dress. That looks like a threesome to me, even though. I mean, she has the body type of Roseanne.

Yes. And the, you know, maybe she's pretty face. She's wearing like, she looks like the grown-up goth girl from South Park. Yeah, she's definitely very goth-y. she looks like she's a teenager maybe she is a teenager in that photo I don't know

like that she seems nice that's not a good look for an adult I guess it's my parents not the best not the greatest wedding and that's the wedding

that's what she wore for her wedding I believe so yeah so that's all right she's a fucking mess would you like to know she's disgusting would you like to know what her ring name was yeah what was it

sin S Y N okay so she fancies herself one of these like dominatric types or something last week, an independent wrestler. This is why I am nominating Jim Cornett, the creepiest groomer.

Yeah, because you love this guy. So far, all I've heard is how amazing this guy is. Yeah, you're making a terrible argument for yourself. He's an entertaining guy. Yeah. I will say that. My creep this week is also a guy who's really funny and I love him very much. Okay, now you go. Independent wrestler, Phil Early, posted on Twitter on Thursday, detailing allegations against Cornett and his wife, Stacey, saying that Cornett's wife, who worked at OVW's sin, attempted to groom him early in this time in the wrestling business sending him unasked for lewd photos and attempting to groom him for sexual purposes that must phone must have had a

really big lens yeah right uh early alleged at cornet would require talent to quote perform sexual acts on his wife oh he's a cuck many times with him watching so that's pretty creepy this is alleged this guy just posted this on twitter okay but a bunch of people backed him up. He provided photos, and I'm not going to show it to you again, because you saw it yesterday. She sent photos, allegedly, of her big, giant fucking flat white

ass, beat red. Yeah, it was a real flato photo. Oh my God, it was not attractive. Like, if somebody sent this to me, and it was like, keep your job or eat this. Yeah, right. Oh, I'm sorry. I left my boner at home, so I will not be able to participate in this today? I mean,

how do you expect someone not to call in sick after seeing that picture? So you're saying he was grooming wrestlers to fuck his wife? Yes, with him watching. Which wouldn't be grooming if his wife were attractive, it would just be a perk. Correct. It would literally be the reason why you wanted to work at that place. So this is

why this is creepy. Yeah. Number one. How could it be a crime if it's based on the attractiveness of the individual in it? They also accuse them of something a little bit more nefarious. Okay. Not only was Jim Cornett like the Booker, he's the guy who is the bridge to the WWF. So there's a lot of power there.

Okay. People are trying to work for this company. and if you have to fuck his wife to try to get to fucking raw or smackdown, ugh, it's disgusting. And they also accuse her of having other wrestlers threatened to beat up the guys who were causing problems about this.

Okay. So wait a second. So if you won't fuck the fat, ugly pig, then a wrestler beats you up. Shoot style. What's that mean? Real style. Oh, okay. I thought that was implied when I said that they were going to feed up.

Could you imagine? There's a fake fight. For arm, four arm. All right, if you put me in the finishing move, I'll do it, I'll do it. It's the Steiner recliner. He's got to choking somebody out. You either fuck my wife or it's the atomic elbow for you, my friend. Oh, have you ever seen a Hogan leg drop?

It's not that scary. But like, here's the thing. There's a lot of creepy sex happening in wrestling. There's a lot of it. That what's her name? That girl, Paige, who's in WWE now. Yeah. She was, there's videos of her.

her like holding up her women's championship belt while her fucking boyfriend jizzed across her face and the belt. Why didn't you bring those videos in this show, many? Everything you're telling me is what we're telling me is what we're talking about. No! There's a wrestling commission in Kentucky.

And apparently, she would threaten the wrestlers because she would say that they're family friends and we could have them pull your license and like ruin your gigs in fucking Lexington. I don't know. Basically, you'll never work in this town again. Yeah. Which is powerful. when it's L.A.

When it's somewhere in Kentucky. When it's fucking Louisville. Yeah, all right. See ya. I was on my way out anyway. Bye bye. So he also says the people that he knows were basically brainwashed for years. She showed pictures of tires that were slashed.

She also bragged that one guy who like broke up with her. He made sure that he lost his job and his apartment. By the way, what does that do to your self-esteem? That people are willing to lose their jobs and get beat up just to not fuck you. That's terrible, isn't it? Yeah. You get to go through all of those measures. Just a, every chick in the world, the one thing they can do is get laid.

That's not a problem. They also, there's another, another wrestler came in, Mike Braddock and said that Cornett sent Stacey after me to recruit me. I don't know what arrangement these two had, if they're just swingers or what the fuck's going on. But if they were, you, it sounds like, swingers is soft. Yeah. So, I mean, to keep your job, you've got to fuck his fat wife is basically what's going on here. and Mr. Cordette is very litigious.

Holy shit. So I just want to say this is all alleged, and your wife is pleasantly plump. This is all alleged, and my real name is John Melendez. Yes. My name is Patrick Michael, and I'm going to be listening to Jim Cordette's drive through this very week to hear his response. But his best friend, his ex-best friend, Kenny Boland, basically came out and said, oh, yeah, we never battled an eye about this stuff when he came to Jim, and that he thinks that the idea of them swinging is not hard to believe.

And he went on to say, it seems bad outside of the wrestling business, but not inside it, is what Kenny Boyle said. Yeah, I would think it's chaos. Yes. The fact that this is making news is bizarre to me. Hey, you want to hear another fact about Jim Cordette's wife, according to Kenny Bowling? Sure. She had, quote, already

been with the big show before she met Jim Corny. Oh, God. Who would fuck the big show? Her. Oh, that cannot be pleasant. That's something I don't want to think about. I don't want to...

All right, yeah, I'm out. He also said that a WCW star told him that the first time he met Cornett and his wife, she apparently offered to blow Kevin Nash. Oh, I would do that. Yeah. Kevin Nash is a pretty good-looking guy. So there's just a weird situation here. This is a very strange thing, and I hope it's not true.

But Mr. Cornett, I had to nominate somebody this week, and you're it, buddy. Wow, that was a... Time's up. Jim. That was, you, you went a long way to get to your destination, my friend. I feel like you could have cut a couple quarters there. It's just workplace. Basically.

Workplace harassment. Workplace harassment. You had to fuck a fat girl to keep your job. Yes. We could have summed this up. And these guys are not like, here's the thing about wrestlers. I don't think they're exactly employable other places. Well, that's a good point.

So it's like Walmart. Yeah, I don't think. You're fucked a fat one. Yeah, I don't think Roadhouse exists anymore. I don't think that there's bars like that. Not these days, the days of the corona. All right, cool. So can I, uh, I do appreciate you giving me a win, a W this week.

Thank you very much. I don't think there's anything creepier than this. Thank you for giving me an easy W. So in the, uh, topic of groomers, I went ahead and went with a comedian, Vince. My creep this week is Bill Cosby. Oh, I'm just kidding. No, my creep this week is actually, it's actually, uh, Chris Delia. and I'm sure everyone knows this story,

but at least it's topical for once. You always rag on me for breaking stories that are 10 years old. I love it. We both have creeps from this week. This just happened. This is still breaking news. It's still happening.

People on Twitter came out and showed a bunch of screen captures of conversations they had with Christalia that exposes him as a total creep. And I'll just play this clip that sets this up with a woman named Simone Rossi getting this started. Accusations against the comedians.

started making waves on social media after a Twitter user claimed he groomed her for sexual activity when she was just 16 years old. A woman named Simone Rossi tweeted a series of screenshots of emails she and the comedian allegedly exchanged in 2014 and 2015. That woman's cadence is completely off-putting. I know. It's so hard to listen to. 2014. How does she have a job like that? Why is she doing announcing your voiceover work? Doesn't make any sense. Why do they let me do it? I don't fucking know. Because you would break the equipment. That's why. They actually want to get the audio and use it. That's why they don't have you do it.

So Simone Rosey, when she was 16 years old, and Chris Dalia was 34. You talk such a big game now that you bought a microphone. I know, don't I? Fuck yourself. Like a big shot. Simone, and I have air conditioning. My studio is amazing. You wouldn't

believe it now, Vinny. So she wrote, uh, she has the screen grab that she posted and it has Chris reaching out to her first. saying, I'm in Tempe, let's hang, smiley face. Remember, he's 34, she's 16. She wrote back, do you want to meet up tonight, smiley face?

His response is, yes, can we make out? Oh, no. Now, the second thing you write to somebody is, can we make out? And it's a 16-year-old girl. I'm pretty sure it's a 34-year-old man. I've never texted someone, can we make out? You know what that means. He doesn't want to just, like, smooch all night.

He's not looking for a smoochy-smooch session. Yeah, you're probably. Right. So that's pretty creepy. That's not a good thing to do. But I will say this. You know, here's the thing about creepy. These guys do this shit all the time with these young girls. They do? Yeah, they talk to young girls like this all the time. Not just famous comedians, but people are doing. 30 something's trying to fuck teenagers all the time? What are you talking about? Yes. Have you ever had a conversation with a 16 year old? It's impossible. I don't want anything to do with a 16 year old girl. How would you possibly think that's true? You don't think that there's 30-something-year-old guys constantly trying to fuck teenagers? They are. They're all fucking creeps. Yeah. What I'm telling you?

Dime a dozen dollar store creeps. So, Krista Leah, this thing started with Simone Rossi, and then people started piling on. The popular Twitter account, she rates dogs, which has more than 550,000 followers that allows people to anonymously call out inappropriate behavior, also shared a threat of multiple allegations submitted by women, who claimed to have been targeted by the community. when they say they were also underage. The accusations in the tweets, which access has not independently verified, range from Delia allegedly inviting underage girls to his room to cuddle and more disturbing allegations

of forcing sex on minors while they were intoxicated. That's not good. If you have screenshots from a single conversation with a single 16-year-old girl, you could probably skate. But then when there's all of these allegations all coming out at once, there was this one I was reading through a lot of these threads there's this one where there's he's in this town and he reaches out to this girl and she's like all right yeah

I'll meet up with you let's go to she mentions a place a restaurant for dinner he's like uh I don't want to go there let's let's meet at my hotel bar she's like okay goes to the hotel bar messages him and he goes you know what I don't want to come down just come up to my room like wow that is a ball's move right there that's that's dude's got game brilliant actually brilliant but it's not because there's a paper record of it now and yeah and she didn't do it and why would this girl go to would she be allowed in the hotel bar this child well i think that was actually a 21 year old girl i just think it's funny that

most people would go out on the stupid date have dinner try to be charming and then fuck the person this guy's like i need to skip every step and just get right to the fucking yeah man he was playing theaters well right so you would think yeah now christalia has a podcast i've reviewed it it's terrible he puts zero work into it he's a narcissist the ego on this fucking guy which is why he does things like just hey just come out to my hotel room

like why aren't we just gonna fuck what's your problem because he thinks he can just show up unprepared and just prattle on about whatever and it'll be entertaining and it is nice the audio saved perfectly every time

yeah well that's true so I just have a clip from his podcast from a while ago that I bet he wishes he never said out loud that those days are well are long gone you ever see a fucking 14 year old she looks 30 i've never seen there's no such thing as a 14 year old girl anymore they go from like six to 25 nope there's a bunch of years in between yes they're not when they're 15 when they're 16 when they're 17 you're telling me that

16 year old girls look like 30 year old girls in one universe and i the other thing about this guy that's really creepy is how famous he is i know he's been on some sitcoms but he's He's famous as a stand-up comedian, like Justin Bieber's favorite comic. Oh, gross. The guy is not funny. Do you know that if I was Justin Bieber's favorite comic, I would tell no one. Well, tell no one. I would just, like, say graciously thanks, Justin.

I appreciate the love, but. Yeah, you immediately block him. I don't need this guy stalking me. I wanted to play a little bit of a stand-up act because this guy slays rooms. He does theaters. People seem to love it. I don't get it. You're a comedian.

You probably don't like to judge other people's acts. But I just want to play you this one. bit that he does and then I have some thoughts on it I want to dissect a little bit and you tell me what you think that's what love is you know what if I get distil love down into one moment this right here will be the moment of love right here fucking move move over look at the other side of the bed look at that area look at that stop gazing into my fucking eyes for two seconds and look at the other area and then look at the zero area I've got over here look at that vast area they shot Mad Max on the other side of you.

Tom Hardy's over there on the front of a vehicle like, and I'm over here with my leg and my dick flopped off the bed. Explain that. Explain why my dick is flopped off to bed. They shot Mad Max and dances with wolves on the other side of you. Kevin Koster's over there with a water buffalo. Just like Shumani to Tanka Oachi. He's saying that.

And every time. you turn you take the covers you know you do that shit every time you turn you take it you take it and i'm over there and you're sleeping but you're dreaming fuck him he doesn't deserve him and you take it and you take it and you do a billion revolutions tonight you take it you take it you take it and then when you come back you leave it you take it and then leave it you're like a shitty fucking typewriter you're a typewriting ass bitch and i'm over here with no covers a frigid freezing cold dick and my mouth is bleeding thank you bitch So there was a funny joke in there.

Yeah. And I want to give him credit for this because he says, they shot Mad Max on the other side of you. That's a good premise. You know, it's one of those exaggeration style jokes that is funny. But then he uses that premise for five or six more punchlines when they're all the same punchline,

just different variations of that joke. So you know. It's not funny anymore after that. Yeah, you know how you just said, I don't like to judge other comedians? That is very true. Usually I would not comment.

on this type of thing. But Kristallie is a hack, right? No, he's a pedophile, so I don't mind she can call it about. That's the only funny joke in it, and it's a dated joke at this point. I don't know how old this is. That's a good point, yeah. But not only that, what is the fucking setup? The setup doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, that's a good point. He goes, you know what love is? Yeah. And then he goes into this whole thing about sharing a bed with your partner. Yeah, love is when they're so close to you. He could put in two words, just a sentence to clarify what he meant by that. There's a weird leap in there. Because then it turns into, this is a type right and ass cunt or whatever he said.

Yeah, and then it turns into the, and that she's again, and again, and again. Yeah, it's, it's almost like this guy is, it's not funny. It's not funny. This guy's just energy. He's not jokes. It's just energy. He's just like, shouting things over and over again. Here's the thing. Wait, did I just describe me or Crystal Leia? What, what's that? That shit sells. It does. It does. It works. It works. There's a lot of comics where the jokes aren't strong, but the energy is there, and they do very well in front of the live audience.

Yep. And apparently that's what he's got going for. I want to also point out the reason why this is the creep this week is not only have we now proven that Chris Delia is a creepy pedophile, but he was cast to play a pedophile on two different TV shows, both workaholics and you on Netflix. So you were talking before about, you know, you don't want to like play a character. You just want to be that person. Yeah, yeah. Chris DeLea, like, he gets cast in that role every time. They're like, perfect.

This is straight out of central casting. We got our creep. This is it. I know I really want to book this part. Let me show you my text messages. Yeah, right. That's probably how he got the role. Yeah, he just walks and starts talking to the casting agent. I have to convince an audience that I would fuck a 15-year-old.

Yeah, I can do that off? No worries. Now, do you want it to be extra hot or do you want it to be just like a little off-putting? You can only do an extra off-putting, by the way. This guy is a creep. The last thing I want to leave you with, there were some tweets that went out from other comedians about this that were hilarious. I just wanted to read them. So DeJango Gold said, this Christalia shit is wild, but I guess it's always the first person you suspect.

That's a good joke. It's a good joke. It's a quick joke. I like it. Lane Moore says, who could have known Christalia was a creep other than anyone who's ever looked at him or heard him say things? Sashir Zamada from S&L writes a quote from Chris Delia. And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids. I love that.

That's the best one. And then Subha, writes, right now, Chris Delia is apologizing to his current girlfriend over a luncheables pizza and Capri Sun. At a playground. Excellent. Excellent joke. Absolutely. So, Chris Delia vote for him as the creep. Thanks for the W this week. Hey, let me ask you a question.

Did you have to fuck his fat wife to open for him? You might. It's not, it hasn't come out yet. Who knows? Did you see Joey Diaz on Rogan? No, I haven't seen that yet. Oh, he basically goes on there. And I know Joey pretty well.

He's an exaggerator. Yeah. He's very big exaggerator. He's like, I used to make chicks suck my dick if they wanted to get on the open mic. Oh, no. No, you didn't, Joey, but, like, I don't believe him when he says it. But then he's like, yeah, dog, I'm serious. I'm like, you want to get on my stage?

And like, he doubled down on it. It's a- Did Joe Rogan try to stop him? Because I know he loves Joey Diaz. Oh, it was an interesting clip. I don't know if it's an old clip or a new clip, but I saw it. It's out there. That's hilarious.

Oh, Jesus Christ. The year of 2020. That's the problem with. Podcasting is that we talk too much. There's too many things that we've said that you could go back and find. You know what Dick Masterson does that's so brilliant? He has an auto delete on his Twitter. You cannot go back and find old tweets.

They go away immediately. Like how long do they stay up? Maybe a couple days. Everyone should do that. If you're not doing that. Yeah, if you're not doing that, you're an idiot. We should delete all of our old podcast episodes too. Yeah, better download them now.

Yeah, because we've got to take them off the internet. We don't know what we just said that in 2021 is not appropriate. You realize that day's coming, right? where they're just to be like, what the fuck was this show? Oh, boy. They're like marketing. He works at marketing. Oh, shit.

And my name is John Melendez, everybody. Patrick Michael, John Melendez here. All right. So, Carl, we got some voicemails. Oh, good. We got people calling in, huh? Well, I'm glad that we're spinning the wheel at the end of the show today because we have a suggestion for the wheel of consequences.

Right. Hello, Carl and Vinny. Here's my idea for the wheel of consequences. Assuming that flights are a thing that will exist at some point in the future, loser on their next flight has to take a metal sex toy with them through security. Now, I say take because if you're not a coward, you will wear it. I will let what that thing is be up to the loser who may be called this week. Sorry, man, I voted for you.

Going back. Does inserting something in your ass qualify as wearing it? I was going to say, does hiding it count as well? Yeah, right. I've never worn a sex toy. I don't know what that means. We're gonna put it on the top of my head? Like a bird of supreme or something? Hey, I'm Dudo-Had guy! What's going on, everybody? I'm a unicorn.

What the fuck is a metal sex toy? That would be the last material I would use for a sex toy. It doesn't give it all. It's heavy. It's cold. It's the first one I go to. That's disgusting. I'm gonna fuck a metal pocket pussy. You gotta clean it with like stainless steel cleaner. Yeah, why don't I just fuck a couple? Forks. What's this guy talking about?

A metal sex toy? Use those fucking beaters. So I guess my point is that's not going on the wheel of consequences. That's a stupid idea. I'd rather bring a gun out of an airplane. I like it. I think we should add it right now. I think we should add it for this spit.

No. It's not going on there. All right. The wheels behind me today. Not by you because I have to fucking spin it later and I'm not adding it. Speaking of atrocities, here's our next caller. Hey, this is Vic. If you cared about fucking breviving.

you two would fucking take out the one to two second fucking silences that you have in every single fucking episode, Vinny, get off the fucking couch. That fucking little imprint that your fat fucking body has created and your favorite fucking spot of the couch needs a break. Let that fucking shit out. And as hard as it is to admit, Vinny is correct. Carl is a little little cuck. Carl admittedly made a please wear a mask sign

and put it outside of a fucking grocery store That's it Go fuck yourself They lost the momentum at the end Yeah and what does she find out There's a one to two second pauses in a conversation I don't even think she wanted to complain about anything Because that doesn't make any sense to me

Yeah I think she just wanted to make that joke About your fat imprint on the couch Which I enjoyed Oh what a great joke I enjoyed it bit keep going I can imagine she was just sitting there, just sitting there stirring the chicken noodle soup in that fucking defroster pot at Panera going, I got it.

I got it. She's got one of those jobs. She's a lot of time to think of jokes. Yeah. Fucking stick your head in that event next time before you call. This one came in from our good friend who last week we kind of took to task, imbecile Wilhelm. Yeah, we made a rule. We got to keep these calls like 45 seconds max.

It's just you can't go on and on. It's too much. Yeah. So we said if you have to make a long point, you have to call back multiple times. Yeah, just make one point per call. It'll make it easier for us to... He followed our instructions to the letter. Oh, good.

Oh, good. Greetings. This is imbecile Wilhelm, calling again to apologize to the creep of family. In the future. Yep, go to the next one. That was it. That was it. I will ensure that my voicemail messages are succinct, short, and also funny.

Well, I also wanted. Oh, that's another cliffhanger. Yeah. You could actually finish your sentence. I wouldn't say, like, just make it mid-sentence. Yeah, and I mean, you had plenty of time to the 45-second limit. That was 17 seconds. Jesus.

what else what did he want to say to say something about Lenny Dykstra oh good I always like this Lenny Dykstra

oh god damn oh that's it all right I'm on pins and needles over here buddy what did Lenny Dykstra do butchard a small family

outside of Albany, New York and lived off of the meat for a year thank you all right would you say butchered a small family does he mean like a family of little people yes like on that show possibly kebler elves i'm not sure that's not a year's worth of meat i don't know about this stolen well that's why imbecile will of helm is not a co-host on this

show correct the stories don't make any sense correct we tell we tell the truth this is the true crime show only about true true crime now folks i should also remind you that if you would like to leave us a voicemail the number is 585 371 818 If you want to send us an email, it's the creepoff pod at gmail.com or you can just tweet at us at creepoff pod. Yes, and make sure to go to

the creepoff.com and vote every single week, vote for who you thought brought the better creep, better argument. Yeah, and we will make you fuck one of our fat wives to do it. Let's start leaving one to two second pauses and just to troll Vic.

You just keep coming back to that fuck my fat life bet. Yeah, well, I want people to realize. It's not going to work. It's terrible. It's terrible. Professional wrestlers, by the way, I don't know what kind of options they have.

I'm imagining a lot of the guys who are just coming up and don't have a name for themselves yet are probably fucking women like that on purpose. You're actually like it's so bad. They're doing it on purpose. They're probably fucking chicks like that. But if you ask them, they're like, I tripped. Well, yeah, it's like a moped.

You don't want your friends to see you're riding it. Right, right. So you ready for a scum parade? I am. Let's do it. All right. Get that music. Let's do it. Wednesday afternoon, mind you, this is the afternoon. Police say Michael Gwensap 30 ran down the street chasing a 15-year-old while committing a lewd act on himself.

Okay. I can picture that, yep. The cops say the girl was trying to get away from him. Sapp ran down an alley when officers approached. They were able to get him into custody, and the girl's parents came and picked her up. Police said that Sapp was taken to jail. where he is available to be released on a $2,000 bond. If you want a 15-year-old girl to like you, don't have your dick in your hand, have a Pomeranian. Become a stand-up comedian. Yeah, become a high-energy comic. Yeah, right. Play a pedophile on Netflix.

Yeah. And by the way, from my experience, trying to get a girl to like you by jacking off in front of them doesn't work at any age. Yeah. And it doesn't work for any comedians either. I was a good old guy. Yeah, ask Louis C.K.

How that worked out for him. It wasn't the beginning of long relationships. No, no, it was not. I mean, a 15-year-old girl, he's just chasing her down the street with his dick out. So, romance was in the air. What do you say? Like, what's the pickup line? I think it speaks for itself, Vinny.

That's the beauty of jerking off in front of a girl. You don't have to tell her you like her. You're kind of already demonstrating it. Look at it. Guess who I have a crush on. Let me ask you a question. When you're doing that, you have to make direct eye contact, right? Or at least attempt to?

I actually go back and forth between my junk and her face. Yeah, uh, right. Uh, uh, uh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that. The other thing that I like to do is I like to get one of those little baby hands and, like, put that out of my sleeve so that it looks a lot bigger in comparison. Yeah, I like to grab a Coke can, keep an extra for scale. Smart. For scale. And oh my man, Ryan Shuffley was arrested after early Saturday.

There was a situation in a downtown bar where he was not allowed entry. He walked up to the bar and what did he do, Carl? He sprayed pepper spray into the building, which immediately made people sick, throw it up. They had to clear the place out, all because they didn't let him in. Well, there's video of it too. I saw the video. It wasn't that there was any reason why they didn't let them in except for they were at capacity. Right.

It wasn't like, we don't like your kind or something like that. They have the 50% capacity law or whatever what's going on there. So they're like, I'm sorry, sir. And it seemed like it was all cordial. And then the guy turns around and just starts spraying pepper spray. Do you think that maybe he did it to like clear the place and be like, there's room now? Oh, that's a pretty good strategy. Yeah.

My takeaway from this is that the restaurant is sending mixed messages. You know, you put pepper on a chicken wing. It's delightful. You pay a premium for it. But pepper in the air for free, oh, we got to lock this guy up. What fucking rich person restaurants do you go to or they charge you extra for pepper? No, what I mean is chicken wings is garbage. Like, that's the garbage meat nobody wants.

But then as soon as you put delicious pepper sauce on it, it's $10 for 10 wings. It's a premium that you have to pay. Okay, all right. I wouldn't touch a chicken wing if it didn't have delicious cay and pepper sauce on it. This guy's giving it away for free to anyone who wants it. You don't have to have a chicken wing. You don't even have to have a chicken. And now the restaurants go, well, fuck that.

can't have this free pepper going on It's competing with us I can't see my eyes my eyes And I don't think people were puking I think you're exaggerating a little bit I think people were just like mildly annoyed Okay well it's still a creepy thing to do Would you agree?

Yes and he was arrested for it Yes of course he was Fucking asshole That is an asshole move I mean everybody's waiting to get out Like they've been stuck in their houses for months They could finally go out to a bar They finally wait in the line

Through all that shit get in Just for this dick had to come in And it was an area downtown Where there's tons of other bars So you can't get into this bar and then just go to another bar. It's fine. There's lots of places to get booze. All right.

Let's go to San Diego, California, shall we? Yeah, let's do it. Robert Bryans was booked Monday on, you ready for this? This is one of those stories where I question the charges. He was booked Monday on suspicion of two counts of attempted murder. Okay, he's also being charged with kidnapping child cruelty after police say his wife called 911 early Saturday reported that the husband had taken their two children and they said he plans to drive off the Coronado bridge

so she's like holy shit this guy took my kids and he's going to drive off a fucking bridge. Yeah. A San Diego police lieutenant spotted the pickup started following it the guy sees the cop behind him the lights are going and he decides you know what I'm not going to make it to the bridge

but look there's a cliff and drove the fuck off a cliff with his two kids in the fucking car and then there's a... End of the fucking ocean there's a sentence in this artist that says, prosecutors have until Wednesday to decide what charges, if any, they might bring against him for the crash early Saturday morning. So, apparently, murder suicide is legal in California?

Is that what I'm gathering from this? I mean, I'm guessing. What charges, if any? Reckless driving, maybe. You can throw that in there. Murder suicide is fine. I was actually asking my wife if she wanted to move out to San Francisco the other day. I'd go for a ride.

Yeah. I hear they have a lovely bridge there. Yeah, I honestly didn't know the driving off a cliff was a. a real thing. I've never heard of that before. I thought it only happened to like movies or when you let the cat drive. I didn't know that you could actually drive off a cliff in a real life. Tuneses. Never seen that. All right. Well, here's a nice news. There is a go fund me for the kids if you want to, uh, the kids are two years old and they were rescued, right? Everyone survived. So a cop, right? Yeah. Took a canine 100 foot leash and used it to repel down and

save the fucking kids and the fucking guy. Yeah, but they all survived. We needed to fund these assholes. Yeah. Take away the leash. We're going to abolish these pricks. Yeah. Saving two-year-olds from the ocean. From their fucking lunatic father. Yeah. Yeah.

So, holy shit, right off the cliff. So, we're going to... I'm a BLM ally, so I say defund this guy immediately. Okay. 58-year-old Lakeland man was arrested Thursday and felony charges of child porn possession, telling detectives he saved the images out of, quote, curiosity. Polk County Sheriff's detectives arrested Jose Arzaria of Orange,

Orange Valley Lane after investigating a National Center for Missing Exploited Children's Cyber Pipeline report received in August concerning his email address. So basically the government takes child porn, puts some type of electronic tracing into it

shoots it into this pipeline and if your shit gets caught that you have it, you're going to jail. I'm pretty sure that's entrapment but I'm fucking fine with it. They let you a fucking bait and shoot deer. You could easily bait and shoot pedophiles. I'm fine with that. Yeah, it's definitely entrapment. The government also does this with drugs and with

firearms. They're constantly giving people illegal shit to go play with. I think that they might be the biggest drug dealer in all of America is the federal government, but whatever, it's fine. Carl hung himself just now, everybody. Yeah, by the way, I love my life. So I put that out there. Now, here's the, this is what really was weird to me. Arzaria admitted to detectives that he accidentally came across child pornography. Whoops. I just slipped in It's child porn. Well, looking at adults in lingerie. Yeah, that's how that happens.

After I saw child pornography, I became curious. So, like, was this, like, looking at lingerie, was he looking at a fucking Victoria Seeker catalog? And, like, the baby R Us catalog was there, too? And he's like, whoa. That's a pretty dress also. Yeah. Look at this chick.

She wears it well. Yeah. When Detective asked to see his phone, he gave them permission. They didn't find any media on the device, but they did find an eBay application installed. Now, when they started investing, you know, when they started investing, And detectives say he told them he used eBay to communicate with sellers who were selling both adult and children's underwear. Then they also sent him images of nude pre-pubescent children. He was buying dirty underwear and pictures of kids through fucking eBay, Carl.

Yes. Now, here's why this man is really creepy. Because according to the sheriff, Zaria was buying these things and ingesting them. Did you hear me? Actually, when I first saw that he was ingesting soiled underwear, I was like, next. But then when I saw it was children's underwear, I've never met a child who could properly wipe their ass. That is disgusting. Oh, my God.

The fucking skin marks going down his throat. Guy looks like he's eating a nutty buddy. Oh, fucking nasty. So the sheriff went on to say, he was munching on him. This guy has a problem. You think? Does he not know that their Instagram stars selling their back? Bathwater.

Where's your no-ship Sherlock drop? You don't have to buy soiled. It's too late now. Yeah. You don't have to buy soiled underwear. By the way, this website that you found this article, because you sent me all the links ahead of time, it's like True Crime Daily or something like that. I can't believe the stories on the site.

Underneath this article, I just scrolled down a little bit. Here are the other links that you could go to. Men who deputies say wanted to eat child and use as sex slave gets probation. Grandma, ex-son-in-law accused. of live streaming rape of one year old Doc fired from Children's Hospital charged with 145 child porn counts

and then my favorite one this is a woman who looks like Those are medical pictures She's been through the ringer She is possibly a gray But it says that Oklahoma mom Who forced kids to eat dog feces avoids prison

How are we not doing all of these stories It's so ridiculous Because I believe in the shelf life Because a lot of those are older ones Yeah, I'm just... And I try to keep it current. I'm new to this true crime thing. I see why people like it so much.

I try to keep our stories to like within the last week. I don't care, but I like that you do that. Who wants to hear the same fucking stories on different podcasts? Quality control. I want you to hear about the creeps here first. So I have one more creep that I wanted to talk about. There's a man named Lacey Johnson. That's a lady's name.

He's a GOP candidate running for the seat currently held by Ilhan Omar. Now, this gentleman decided to set up a booth in downtown Minneapolis to promote the fact that you might want to vote for him. And guess where he put that booth, Vinny? By the Viking Stadium? He set it up on the corner of 38th Street and Chicago Avenue, just so that it was to be the place where George Floyd was murdered. How inappropriate is that? What was he thinking? I love the picture of it.

I love the fucking picture they have on this website. It's a pop-up camping tent, the one where there's no sides on it. Right. And it's a fucking, the same table that Carl has as for his studio, a beer pong fucking table with a red tablecloth and a big Lacey Jotson banner. And no one is around it. No one is around it. And all across the street, there's chalk drawings of Black Lives Matter and all of these things that make it so that this sticks out like a sore thumb. He should have known this was a bad place to set up camp.

But Vinny, that's not even the worst thing that this guy did. What's that? This just came out. He put together a new campaign ad, a whole 60-second video of this guy giving former officer Derek Chauvin a foot massage. Wow, it seems more appropriate than setting up his fucking tent over there. I don't think he's going to win this race. I don't think that's going to be helpful for him. I don't either.

He's a lovely man. I should mention Lacey Johnson is a black man, too. Yes, we should throw that right there. I think that's important to note here. I'm guessing he talks like Cleveland. Yeah, he's like Chappelle doing the white guy. Hello, everyone. Lacey Johnson here.

Come vote for me. Oh, is this a bad place for me to set up tunt? Oh, look at this. No one. Oh, look at all these Black Lives Matter stuff screwing all over the sidewalk. It's graffiti. Yeah, he's scrubbing Black Lives Matter out.

Hey, don't forget to vote for me. And he's just writing Lacey Johnson. What an idiot. Oh, Lacey. Oh, Lacey. God bless you. So, uh, I guess it's time for you to spin the fucking wheel, Carl. All right.

All right, we're going to spin the wheel. You got to get the video set up. I just want to say... Let's talk about what's on this wheel. I just want to say I'm so excited right now. Oh, fuck off. Oh, fuck. I know.

It's been a long, a long time in the making for this moment. So here's the things that are on the wheel. My favorite of all time, the seven-second. porn challenge. Ah, yes, that's where you have to go into a public place and play porn on your phone that everyone can hear. As loud as possible. As loud as possible. Yeah.

We have Stuttering John Book Report. We have the only fans page. Yeah. We have a really good one. Have dinner with a listener. Oh, yeah. I'd rather die than that. It will definitely not be Kevbot.

I can tell you that for sure. I love Kevbot. Yeah, you have dinner with them. Okay. No. Let's see. What else we got on there? bobbing for apples and mayonnaise

which seems like the most disgusting thing that's on there Yeah, that's weird We had to have something gross on there So that's that I think that's brutal The Nick Bate cover song That's right We gotta cover one of Nick Bates

Or maybe multiple Nick Bate tunes Yes And only raping children Then disembelling and forced feeding them their own intestines It's already perfect But I think I could do a deep decent version. I think you just have to change the genre. Do like a reggae version.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, you could do lots of them. Smooth jazz. Yeah, I like to hear. Teddy G's fucking playing a solo. Maybe something like in the style of Chicago. Yeah. Really like... Big bandy maybe. Yeah, get some brass in there. Little brass.

Yeah, I'm going to do it in Anna's butt. Yeah, I'm going to lick Anna's butt. That's a funk song if I've ever heard it. Yeah, there's a lot you can do it. Clinton would make an album off of that. I love it. All right, what else we got there? Drive to Gary, Indiana.

I'm not doing that. Yes, you are. If you land on it, you fucking are. That's too far with drive. Okay, what else we got? Adult diaper. You have to wear an adult diaper in public. Yeah, you got to work Crocs in public is another one.

I already said that. You did? Yeah, pay attention. I'm not paying attention. All right, are you ready for this? All right, Carl. It's time to spin the wheel. Take your medicine.

Here we go. slowing down and it's landing on OnlyFans! Yeah! That's what I learned on yesterday, too! That works that well! It's perfect! Yay! I got to start an OnlyFans account.

I'm excited about this. So people are to be able to subscribe to at Hot Cuckaca Carla. I don't even know really what the only fans is. I've just heard about it. So for those of you who don't know, I learned about this from Imbecile Wilhelm, the week we did that, Yeah. Basically, any girl or guy, whoever, could just sell naked pictures of themselves on there is basically what it is. So it's a racy Instagram. So people, if they want to subscribe and give you money, you can just do whatever you want. Correct.

Videos and photos. Yeah, lots of slow videos of Carl eating bananas. Oh, my God, the sky's the limit for this. This is going to be great. Disgusted. How much should I charge people? I'm thinking it should be an astronomical amount so that I don't get anyone following me. People can tip you too, Carl. Ooh. So.

all right yeah you can earn your tips all right well look forward to my only fans account if it's not called h a w t kuk kha kha kala i would be very upset well i'm getting my consequence i got my comeuppance next week we start a new we start a new round we're at zero zero right now soon to be one zero carl don't forget to vote at the creepoff dot com it's nice to be important it's more important to be nice Gagia! We eat real. Dude.

We have to get out. I have to get out. I know she's been on a lot of streets, so she knows them real well. As a matter of fact, I used to call Betsy's Federal Express. You know that? When she went out on a day, she asked for me by two. They had to be there overnight. But I want to talk about Jesse's homebound.

That was talking about it was drunk and old day. We eat live. We need to Texas every Saturday night. Jesse Rose's father would go in the worst world-class redneck saloon in Austin, Texas. And there would be fighting. And there would be fighting. There would be swearing, there would be cussing, and a lot of hard drinking. And finally, he'd be able to drag Dusty's mother out of there.

Jeez, Louise.