The Creep Off - #18 He Must Own a Boat

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

On this weeks themed episode of the Creep off Vinnie & Karl submit their nominations for Creepiest Cop that is not the Golden State Killer. Karl updates us on his new OnlyFans account, spoiler alert it isn’t free. In the scum parade we meet a very disappointed father, a priest who knows all your secrets and a creepy guy who has a “nest”.

I better turn off my phone. Yeah. Start the creep off. It's the creep off. Ola Creepos. I'm Vinny. This is my pal. Hot cacacarla. What's happening, Vinny? I'm ready to play the world's worst game. That's right. It's the creep off. That's right. It's the game where we take atrocity and try to deliver it in as happy and humorous way possible for points. All right. And because it is for points, we have a voting system. I know that I brought it last week, so I'm feeling pretty confident.

what was the final vote tally for last week's creeps Hey 67% for Flaxo the clown Yeah You know what upsets me about this People were leaving voicemails and making comments

Like my guy wasn't really a clown If you're dressed like a clown You're a clown Yeah I think you lost points Because the entire backstory had nothing to do with clowns. We're trying to go with themes now, and you fucked up the thematic makeup of our show.

But I didn't, though, because the guy was, like, dressed like a clown with Freddie Kruger gloves. But he doesn't have a clown name. Diablo the clown. I think you just made that up. I don't even think that's a real thing. And before we talk about the theme this week, let's talk about the score.

I am up two to zero. Yeah, you're up too enough. And if I get to five before you do, you have to spin the wheel of consequentus. By the way, I should give you an update on that. Yes, let's discuss. your consequence that you had to spend for because I beat your ass. Correct. You won this, the second round. So I have to set up an OnlyFans account. I set

one up, it got disapproved. So stupid. Too much skin, they said. And then I tried again, and it just got approved. Hey! I don't have anything up there yet, but Carl Creepoff on OnlyFans is there. I'm still learning how to use that site. I find it very confusing. I cannot find Seamus MacKillian's OnlyFans page You can't find his podcast either So it's impossible to find him So I find it all very confusing

But as soon as we have that set up I'm sure we'll put a link on our website The Creep off Have you decided how we're going to make that work? Is it going to be a free only fans account For people to just come and look at you? I'd rather make it like two bucks Okay

Would that be funnier? Yeah, charge people That makes you a creep Correct! Which has been the premise all along Well, I think people that listen to the show Already realize what a creep the two of us are This week's theme

It's the sound of the police It is creepiest cops That are not the golden state killer That's right, Carl Caps got canceled because apparently They're too creepy That's why And here we are, we are going to

We're like a real true crime podcast. We're doing things that are topical in the news. And this week is no different. So I'm excited to jump in and because you lost last week. I won last week. Trying to change history?

I'm a mushroom mouth. Sorry. You're excited about your creep. You can't wait to go. Oh, boy. That's the sense that I'm getting. But I get to go second this week. All right. You get to go first. So let's get this thing started. My creep this week is L.A. detective Mark Furman.

Hey! You heard this guy? No, just kidding. It's not Mark Furman. My creep is Officer Chief Tim Dean. And I'll give you a quick backgrounder. The problems with this creep began when a video was posted by his wife onto Facebook. Again, those Facebook videos.

Nothing but trouble, man. Nothing but trouble. He blamed everyone but she. Charlene for that child abuse. I mean, she's the one who videoed it. She's the only one who could have released it. But it was everybody's fault but hers. So Charlene Childers is married to the chief of police in Texas, a Texas town.

And she films a video of him berating his three-year-old daughter because she won't eat her food. And she decides to post it. And she decides to post it on Facebook, which is really, really stupid. This is actually quite disturbing. This is the video. This is the real video of Chief Dean yelling at a three-year-old girl. By the way, very cute girl, blonde, just sitting there not wanting to eat her food as three-year-olds do. And Tim's not happy about it.

You know how many guys would be happy to have a cheap date like that? I know, no shit. Save it for tomorrow. Right? Shut the fuck off. I'm going to snap you up by your goddamn hair. Eat your fucking food. I don't want to hear any huffing and puffing.

I want to hear fucking yes, sir. Now eat. Grab your pork and put food at the camera. Yep, that last thing you heard was him slapping a three-year-old across the face. His three-year-old daughter, he smacks her across the face. You know, the guy's been working hard. This guy. Number one, he's a cop.

He's got to deal with a lot of stuff. And he comes home, and he spends all of his time earning money so they can have a nice meal. And here's this little uppity kid, just sit there refusing to eat it. Come on, Carl, you'd be upset, too. I knew you'd take the cops. I knew you'd be on his side. You're always on the cop's side, Vinny. No, I'm never on the kid's side.

That's the difference. I've never on a little braddy three-year-old side. That's true. She probably wasn't a con. But still, so what happens after that is he's arrested and loses his job. He's no longer a police officer after that. So she,

the wife posted that on Facebook. And what did she think would come of it? I have no idea, but it gets crazier from there. Within days, Tim Dean is arrested. He loses custody of his daughter, and he's forced to resign as police chief. His wife, Charlene, also loses custody of her kids.

and they go back to her ex-boyfriend at New York. With their marriage falling apart, Charlene comes up with a deadly plan to get our kids back. And Tim agrees to it. All right, so Charlene has kids with another guy that she used to be married to. He lives in SOTUS, New York. Oh.

And because these people are obviously shitty parents, the one guy's slapping a three-year-old, the other person's filming it. So they're like, all right, well, you probably shouldn't have any children in this home. So she loses custody. He loses custody. And now there's a really big problem.

So what they decide is this guy, Tim Dean, is going to drive from Texas to New York State to murder these two people in order, because that's how you get kids back, is make sure that their parents are dead. That's how that works. Well, to be honest with you, it's not unsound logic. It's not? It's not because they're like, hey, well, somebody's going to have to watch them. All right. So they're not, I mean, they're not wrong. Let's see how logical these two are.

So Tim starts driving from Texas to New York State, and he's in Kansas. And Charlene ate every goddamn bite of food that was put in front of her from Texas to New York. Charlene is not the daughter. It's the life. It doesn't matter. They all better eat their goddamn food. So he's driving by himself to go murder these people because it's not only her ex-Josh-Niles, but Josh Niles is dating this girl Amber Washburn. So they live together in Stodis, New York.

He gets in a car, I said, he drives his car off the road in Kansas. And this leads to an altercation, not an altercation, but a cop has to come by and file a report. And the police officer talks to him. This is actual audio from that. Where are you going? Honestly, man, I was just driving. My whole life has kind of gone to shit lately. More or less living out of my car.

So you're just driving around Kansas from Texas, huh? Yeah. So where were you gonna go? Well, I've got a family friend that I was gonna think. I'm gonna go see, but... Where's that at? That's all the way up in New York. Jesus.

How many days off do you have? Unlimited. Yeah, I'll be fine, thanks. We'll be back one day. So, if you're the cop, aren't you a little suspicious of this guy? He's from Texas, drives off the road in Kansas. He goes, where are you going? He goes, I'm just driving around.

Wait, what? Not well. How does this guy not have a story? He's been a police officer for all these years. He doesn't know you've got to come up with a story when you're talking to a cop. I don't know, I'm just driving around. All right, well. Why would you say New York?

Why would you ever want to admit to where he's going? Oh, what a dumb dumb. He's not a good cop. No, they could have very easily. Is it possible? that this guy is a worse cop than he was apparent? Yes, I think you're right about that. So he explains that he's going to New York.

This dumb dumb in Kansas doesn't like tip somebody off and say, I want to keep an eye on this guy. He's fucking lost it. And obviously, he should have been able to figure out from his identification that he was just forced to resign. He's no longer a police officer. All of these things could have been figured out. Sir, I was going to let you off the water,

but I saw this here Facebook video. Yeah, right. you would think that's what would happen. Right. So he goes to New York and he shoots these two people and murders them both. Huh. Because that's how you're going to get custody of the kids. By the way, for a cop, don't you think that you would try something so you wouldn't get caught?

They're caught right away. Not only is this detective or is the chief Tim Dean caught, but also his wife because it was her idea. So Charlene took a plea deal. So he folded pretty quickly. It was like, it was her idea. Oh, yeah. Well, he's serving life. Sure.

Well, he murdered two people, I would imagine. He took a plea deal for 28 years. This is the judge talking to Tim Dean after he's been sentenced. So, Dee, you are certainly a classic psychopath. You've never shown one bit of emotion in his courtroom. Not once appealed or remorse. I really wonder what goes on your head. If you have any sense of a conscience, you have to be haunted.

by what you've done. And beyond your criminality and the immorality of your acts, I don't know which one of you three geniuses thought you were going to get away with this. The two of you were police officers. How do you think this is going to work? So I love that, but the judge is just like,

all right, well, not only are you a psychopath, but you're also a fucking idiot. You really thought you're going to get away with this? How stupid are you? Then, in another sentencing from the same judge, he dresses down Charlene it strikes me

that there's three sets of children here that are going to grow up with him with their father these children are going to be traumatized for the rest of their life Oh won't somebody please think of the children

You know I wanted to throw that in in case there are any parents out there voting who are going to feel bad about that like oh these poor kids nobody cares about them I'm just saying just in case this is pretty horrific

but really guess what there's a twist to this story You might have heard the judge say there were three of you involved and two of you were cops. Yeah, right, right. This guy, Braun Baller, who was working underneath the chief back in Texas, was also involved in this plot. And he had a brilliant idea for them to get away with it when he took the stand. Fake moustaches, chief. I got it right here in my pocket.

When he took the stand, this was his idea, I believe. Braun Boller told you the stand-a-day to testify against his former supervisor, Timothy Dean. He shared a surprising twist in the SOTUS murder plan. During questioning this morning, Bowler said Dean planned on making Joshua Niles' deaths look like a drug overdose by placing a fentanyl patch on him. So this is how he's going to get away with it. He was going to place a fentany patch on him. The old Courtney Love, eh? He shot him in the head!

The old Courtney Love! That's how what drug overdoses look like. No one's going to have the OD on fentanyl with a gunshot wound in the head. Right. A fucking idiot. Plus, wouldn't there be like a toxicity report? I don't know what you call that. But what did they know that he was killed by?

He's a cop. He should know this. It appears that there's a rustic teams. Huh. Well, there is a needle here, but it appears that this bullet may have caused it. Yeah. When I saw the bullet, that's when it was, uh... They didn't give away.

My neighbor got big test of cool. Because we see this doing every day. That's what I got. Timothy Dean, Chief out of Texas, who decided to drive his car to New York State and murder a couple of people. And now there's all these children who are being raised by their grandparents. Congratulations. Great job.

Well, still better being raised by Charlene. Yeah, no shit. I mean, Charlene is a hell of a name. Like, you know that's straight from the trailer part. You've got to see this video of this guy berating a three. year old. It's like, dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like, what the fuck

is wrong with you? So, that is, uh, that's my creep. Vote for Chief Tim Dean. All right. I would disagree. All right. I would like to introduce you to my creep. Okay. My creep is former New Orleans police officer Stanley Carl Berkart.

He wasn't just a police officer. He was a detective, Carl. Yep. This guy's creepiness starts in the 70s and stretches all All the way to July. Okay. Okay. So, where to begin?

How do I describe this man, do I want you all to have a visual picture of what he looks like? He looks like a cross with John Bolton and Tommy Lee Jones from JFK. Okay. I do declare like he's kind of a little effeminent, but definitely that New Orleans drawl. And he has a creepy mustache. So Burkhart was first arrested in 1987. In 1987, he was the lead pedophile unit detective for New Orleans for the entire city. There's a pedophile unit?

Yeah, they had a pedophile unit in the southern quarter down there. Okay. This is a clear case of a guy who, like, smell his own, obviously. Like, he was a really good detective. I'm just going to say that. Well, I mean, they didn't catch Jislane Maxwell until yesterday, but still. But they got her, Carl. But they got her.

I guess. So he ended up pleading guilty to five counts of trafficking in charge. child pornography, possessing child porn, and aggravated crimes against nature. This is actually a crime. Crimes against nature for molesting... Crimes against nature. Yeah, for molesting a young female

relative. He faced a maximum of 50 years in prison. I thought you're going to say an oak tree. Sometimes oak trees have those, like, knots, anyway, keep gone. Yeah, right? I've thought about committing some crimes against nature myself. That's a woody. Go into the cat skills.

He faced a maximum of 50 years prison but was sentenced to only 10 serving a little more than five years. Okay. So, this would put us at about 1992. He was released after finishing a prison therapy program for pedophiles during which he pleaded guilty to

molesting his nine-year-old niece a decade earlier. He confesses that during this program, so you know what they said? They go, time served. They let him out five years early. And guess what he did after he got out? Ah, fuck children? he found work as a truck driver and a stage hand that's right folks roadies are pedophiles he would later admit to molesting a second niece as well as a nephew according to court records now this guy equal opportunity he was trafficking child porn in the 80s okay and he was the lead child porn detective for the city so in the 80s child pornography wasn't just up on everybody's Google Drive account.

You had to actually physically move at places. And they own, right, exactly. There's boxes. And what do you do if you're the lead detective and someone catches you with the box of child porn? Usually they look at you funny. Haven't to the evidence locker. Nothing to see here. He's going to the bathroom again with that box.

I do declare, I need some time in here to review these files. He gets out. It's now 1997. His second arrest comes as a state. he accepted pornographic videos from a postal inspector posing as a mail carrier so like he sends the porn

through the fucking mail they realize it is so they send in like the post office cops they go to deliver it I didn't realize that this even took place there's undercover mailman postal officers yep postal inspectors I'm assuming that no longer exists

because their budget's been cut so much right you can't whatever you want now did way too much money back then Yeah, so he ends up going to jail again because of, you know, because of the whole situation. Here's a clip what a judge decided. They decided they were going to utilize a law to secure a lifelong sentence for offenders deemed to be sexually dangerous. So they had to have like another trial, a federal trial, to decide to keep this guy in jail forever or not, okay? This is what the judge decided.

The court concluded Burkhart was a sexually dangerous person. And in coming to that ruling, the judge cited significant events in Burkhart's life, including that, quote, while a police officer, he molested Richard Wimann, a young boy at the time. Burckhart served time. Okay. So this name Richard Wynman comes up. You know what I thought? I thought you said he molested richer women. No.

I was like, that sounds like a guy. Poor little Ritchie Wynman. Oh, okay. That's the way worse. Now, this poor fucking kid met Burkart because he was the victim. of being molested. He was the fucking victim of being molested by a janitor

at a Catholic school, who he claims fucked him while a priest watched. And I believe that he was singing this song. Anally raping children and disembelling and forced feeding them their own intestines. Yeah.

Keeping Nick Bade alive here on the creep off. It's my job. There was a case which there was a pedophile ring that this kid had to testify about this whole thing ended up getting blown up there was a pedophile ring involving this priest a bunch of Boy Scout leaders like I'm not even kidding you

it was the Boy Scout pedophile case yeah it sounds like you're just making this I'm not making this up this is like fan fiction for people who like pedophiles getting busted there's a priest there's a scout leader yeah kind of sort of well

that's where he first met that's where Mr. Little Richie Winnman first met Burkart supposed to check on him as part of the scout case, but instead, Wynman says Burckhardt started raping him. Yeah. Yeah, is what does. I got to check your butt with my dick. Okay, so after the testimony, some members of the police department apparently started to realize that there's a good chance that Burkhart could possibly have been a serial killer linked to the death of three boys in the late 1970s, one as early as the 1980s, because of Richie Wynman's testimony, Carl.

What the fuck? Yes, because of the testimony of this kid, in this case in 2011. Here's what Little Ritchie had to say. In an account of what happened, Wimman said, he asked me if I knew Eddie, and I said that I did not. He told me that Eddie was a expletive hustler in the French quarter. Every time I didn't want to do something Stanley wanted. He would pull out that photo and tell me, do you want to end up like Eddie? One day at his home on Democourt Street in New Orleans,

Wimman said he finally had enough. He said, quote, I told Stanley I was done that I wasn't doing it any longer. Women went on to say he picked me up by the throat, put me against the wall and put his service pistol in my mouth, and told me he would kill me. Yeah. This is a like a nine-year-old kid. And he was a police officer at this time.

And he was a police officer. Now, the picture that he's talking about was of this kid named Eddie, who, believe it or not, was a kid that was kind of under the wing of Mr. Burkhart, who he was a street kid that he was trying to help, you know, get his life together. Yeah. Right. They found Richie in the Mississippi River. They dragged, they dredged him out of the river. They found his body. Just in time for a photo op.

Wow. Right. So, Kodak moments. Yeah. This guy, this is what's so fucking wild about this part to me. At the time, they were like, ah, they found the body of a kid in the river. Happens all the fucking time when you live off the Mississippi, apparently. Yeah.

No. Burkhart was convinced and told everybody this kid was murdered. Even though the autopsy revealed no evidence of foul play, the death was classified as neither a homicide nor suicide, according to the local news. So he was just using this as a scare tactic? I don't know. Was he fucking this kid? And then this kid wouldn't do it anymore. And he fucking killed him and threw him in the river.

And then held on to the picture and showed it to these fucking kids and said, act right. Suck my dick or you're going in the river. I like that. This kid wouldn't do it anymore. He wouldn't let me rape him anymore. That's ridiculous. I don't think that anyone's letting anyone do anything in these scenarios.

But okay. But these are children. And could you imagine how terrifying is if a cop tells you that? Don't tell anybody? I don't like cops that don't put their dick in my butt. So yes, it sounds terrible. Yes, the worst guy. I agree.

they're high and mighty clean dicks I like that he came back to the precinct he's got nine-year-old saliva on the tip of his gun and nobody asked him any questions about it how did this nine-year-old saliva get on your gun doesn't it get on everybody's gun what are we talking about here moving on so he said that he suspected that the young hustler been murdered by one of his quote clients

now he also did the exact same thing showing the picture to keep the silence of another kid who came out publicly said basically the same thing as Little Ritchie. Yeah, these kids sound like liars. Oh, yeah, a bunch of jerks. So in 2011, they said, you're guilty, you are a danger to society, you're staying in jail forever.

Good. Right? I'm in federal prison, but got out in March of 2015. They let him out again, Carl. Maybe he learned his lesson. They let him out. Maybe he's ready to live on the straight and arrow. Four more years of treatment than a different judge. They let him out of jail.

Great. And now he's cured and probably, volunteering at an elderly home, right? No, in 2019, detectives had to search Burkhart's home in connection with online comments under photos of young boys online. Oh, fucking idiot.

These fucking people do daughters out on the internet works. They can't trace you. They know where you are. This is so bad. Anonymous sources informed state troopers in June that Burkart was using photo sharing website Flickr to leave disturbing comments

under pictures of young boys long-legged laddie looking for love one comment read which was posted under the username you want to know the clever username that he picked what was it you ready yeah stand burkhart what a what a fucking idiot what a great detective what a fucking idiot wow he also added 117 young men to his quote favorites list He also made comments like, boys and unguarded moments are essentially sensual.

Another comment from Burkhart's account read, he went to the library next, Carl, and he started using the library's computers to leave these comments. Security cameras captured him at the library at the same time poster made, adding to Burkhart's troubles where apparently got him arrested was somehow... He wasn't using an incognito window? No, man, he's a little smarter. He thinks he's smarter than he is. Yeah, obviously. He removed a stamp from his driver's license, which identified him as a sex offender. That's just a stamp they put on there?

He's just a sticker he could peel off? I don't know how we got it. Supposedly you're not supposed to be able to get it off, but there's Louisiana. Yeah, I think he made that a little bit more difficult. Now, you leave that sticker on there, you hear? You don't take that sticker off. So. I lost my sticker.

He applied and got a job without alerting them that he was a pedophile. Guess what he got a job doing? Oh, I would guess probably something very noble. probably something industrial he got a job at hara's casino oh okay you know i've been to that casino the one in new orleans yeah it's the one and let me tell you what else one thing i know from this show there's a lot of unsupervised kids running around casino parking lots carl is that true yeah of course are they're fucking degenerate parents her they're just fucking wasting their college money i know that there are kids that are like locked up in the car with the window only cracked the half an inch i don't know

they're running around the parking lot either way this guy guy may have gotten away with murdering a kid. He was in charge of pedophile investigations and trafficked child porn. He hasn't stopped. He's never learned his lesson. He's gotten in and out of jail and continued to be creepy. I will also say that there was a...

Oh man, if I could only find the blurb. They did say that he was caught with child porn while in prison the first time. Someone was sneaking in... Were they putting the BHS tape at a cake? It's his birthday. Let him have his cake. Come on. Just a little child penis candle on it. But either way, that's my creep.

Stanley Carl Burkhar, detective. Yeah, I mean, in your story, he was only a cop for, I think, about 12% of his life. But so, I'll accept it. From 1970 to 1987, I'll accept it. 17 years rose the ranks, was in charge of the department. Yeah, but did he ever slap a three-year-old? All right. He fucking hates his children and put guns in their mouths.

I know, I know. You think those kids ate all their meal? I bet they did. Vinnie, do we get any voicemails or any notes this week? Yeah, we got a couple. All right. Okay. So here we go. This is feedback on the new Scum Parade jingle.

The new jingle is fucking terrible, the one for the creep off. You fixed something that wasn't broken. P.S. Vinny, if you put the Google voice into do not disturb mode, it won't ring 100,000 times before you have to call or before you can voicemail not call. Fuck.

I don't care. Vinny, just fix the fucking voice. I don't care. Just fix it. I don't care. Okay, let's see what else we got. What else we got? This one is kind of sad.

This is a guy commenting on last week's competition. Vinny, I agree that your guy this week was creepier. but not really a clown. So I'm going to have to give it to Carl. Thank you. Stop trying to think outside the box. Call me back.

I'm sorry for trying to be creative. Yeah, this is not about creativity, Vinny. Pick someone that fits underneath the theme. We did it this week. Pick someone who's part of that theme and do it. By the way, how are we going to pick our future themes? Are we figured that out? Are we going to put it out?

I think we're going to put it on Twitter. Cool. So follow us at Creepoff Pod. give people like a survey or some choices yeah we'll give some choices like when i'm thinking for next week uh because baseball starting back up we had talked about this doing creepiest baseball player yeah that's that's good we'd also talked about doing creepiest world leader who was the um oh i hope i'm not giving this away who was the racist baseball player in like the early 20th century like ran up into the stands and punch people leady dexter i'm pretty sure it was leady dyn dyn dynastra

he had a time machine he went back and did it Lenny Dijkstra did everything I tried to stop that integration before it was before crept up So it's creepiest baseball player Not named Lenny Dijkstra Yeah, it might be Okay

I think we should both pick Lenny Dijkstra And we'd have totally different things To talk about too, it'd be perfect Everybody would still vote for you And I'd be fucking mad Yes, I love it So uh I should let it be said that if you want to call

And leave us a voicemail We'd love to hear from you 585371-80808 if you want to send us an email, the creepoff pot at gmail.com. And also leave us a review. We got a good one this week, Carl. Oh, what we got?

We told people give us five stars. Yep. And, you know, tell us what we can do better. Yeah. And this one came in from Megotron nom nom. Cool. This says advice, five stars. Be less fat.

Also, Carl, be less loud. Never going to happen. But thanks. I do appreciate the feedback. Notice how quick I kept that. just go on and fucking on and on like that stupid Vic when she reads reviews on that other show here's

yeah by the way Vic might get in on the only fans account because I told her we're just going to make fun of Vinny and she's pretty good at that so no she isn't she's terrible at it I might get her involved oh there's a fucking dead in his couch where he sits you can't even deliver her jokes

as well as she does oh do you want some soup you want some bread and baguette on the side I have I have her stand up by the way Oh, right now? Yeah. Play it. No, I'm not going to play right now.

It's the creep off. It's the perfect place for it. That's true. I played a little bit on WATP on the show this weekend. All right. Which is out now. There's your tease. Check it out.

All right. You ready for a scum parade? Let's do this. Well, in the middle of the night and the early morning light, you can see these are creeps from miles away. They'll be banging their kids and banging siblings driving up a cliff with children on board. Watch out for the skunk. Parade Oh no, it's a skum parade

Look out for the skum parade Make it in his day This day I like how you I did a really nice fate out there at the end That's some real good work, Jekyll's Department Sorry Unpolished douches

I know All right, let's start in Memphis, Tennessee. Let's do it. A Memphis woman is under arrest after being accused of trying to drown her father. Abrana Rawlings, 24, is accused of robbing her father the day after Father's Day with the help of her boyfriend. According to reports, Derek Rawlings told police his daughter Abora came to his house, used the key, said that she brought along her boyfriend, Jason Shipp, who was described in old court documents as a boyfriend. An altercation began, and Derek Rawlings, who was allegedly pushed into a bathtub where his head was held under water. Basically, they like reverse waterboard of this guy.

They did the old school. Where's the money, old man? Yeah. Well, the daughter was beating him with a curtain rock over his back. A lot of improvisation going on right there. I like that. They went in there with no plan to just decide, we'll just figure it out when we get there. They got $300 at iPhone and 40 Xanax pills.

I blame this on Derek Rawlings, the father, because this is what happened. They're over there for Father's Day, celebrating the day. No, they went over there and beat the shit out of them. The day after. But on Father's Day, they're over there celebrating the day. And this guy's all braggadocious about all his amazing shit. He's like, hey, look at me. I got $300 cash.

Hey, look at me, I got Zanax. Hey, look at me, I got an iPhone 6. They're like... Y'all ever seen an iPhone before? Yeah. Whoa, an iPhone 6? Oh, shit. Look, if you flip it, the screen changes.

It's amazing. I got 3G on this thing It's unbelievable And so he's showing all this shit off Don't you love this curtain rod? Isn't this the best curb rod you've ever seen? This bathtub fills up so fast Look at this water pressure.

It's amazing He's showing all this shit off And they're like, fuck you old man I want that stuff See you tomorrow Yeah I do have to tell you that I think this woman

Probably should have been slapped more When she was three Probably could have set her straight early on in life Yeah this poor guy He's just like, oh, my daughter's here. Yeah. We just visited it yesterday and you're already back? Oh, what the fuck?

Oh, they must really like that curtain rod. She went right for it. All right, so we're going to keep it going. We're to go to go to Cleveland. An eight court indictment against Robert McWilliams, 40 of Strungsville, Ohio includes charges of sex trafficking of a minor, sexual exploitation of a minor, and transporting and possessing child pornography.

Now, the U.S. Attorney's Office said McWilliams pretended to be a female on social media applications, which he used to make contact with minor male victims. Some of McWilliams alleged victims were young boys he knew because he served as their priest and parishes with which these children were affiliated and their families as well. So he was their priest, and he went on the internet as a lady. They said he pretended to be a female, would reach out, make contact with minor male victims. Then he would allegedly entice minors to send sexually explicit photos and videos and sometimes threatened to expose embarrassing information that he already knew about them if they did not comply.

By the way, just for all of the young kids out there, the preteens and the tweeners, if there is a cute 12-year-old girl on the internet, she doesn't want a dick pick. She would not be asking you for a dick. That's not a girl. Just for you kids that listen. Just for the kids you listen. Now listen. Public service announcement.

Here's the thing, ma'am. This is why this whole confessional thing is a little bit of an outdated situation because this guy is like, Hey, you don't want everybody to know your dad's on Grindr? Let's see that dick. Yeah, right. Like, he's just, he has all the dirt in the world on these people, and he's using it against these kids. Hey, that's something only my priest knows.

How did you find that out, sadly, on the internet? That'll be seven Hail Mary's for questioning me. Right, I wonder how he got caught. Yeah, what a fucking idiot. So, an affidatee alleges McWilliams possessed, received, and distributed roughly 1,700 images of child pornography. Like we said, they're collectors. they get it. They are. They just put it all in one place and it's like a fucking

dragon's fucking gold pile that they find of just child porn. It's just stashed away. It's a good analogy, Benny. Yeah. They just come up with that. That's yeah. It's pretty much what they do. Well, kind of, except for this guy used Dropbox. Yeah, he had 150 files on a Dropbox. He put child porn on Dropbox. What a fucking idiot. He's like, I got to transfer these to my new computer. Everyone knows. There is a free cloud storage service that all CP enthusiasts should use and you just go to cloud.nsa.gov and upload everything right on there.

You'll have no problem. If you haven't done it yet, folks, it's the easiest way to move your child porn. We highly recommend it. If you want to move your child porn and keep it safe, one more time for the people, Carl, give them that link of our new sponsor. cloud.n.n.s.com. That's right. No one will ever find out.

That's where you go. Ms. McWilliams has led to have used the social networking website Grindr.com to make contact with minor male victims. well minors shouldn't be on that stuff isn't it doesn't make any sense yeah it doesn't make any sense to me he also uh met a victim off of their minor male victim for the purposes of engaging in commercial sex acts so basically he paid an underage dude to fuck him uh mic williams allegedly met the victim on multiple occasions and in exchange for sex paid the victim for each act according to the u.s attorney's up to stop you i like that he said paid the victim for each act like he's like all right

cup the balls and i'll throw you a 20 if you drop a digit i got a crisp eight wicket for you You think he had the collection box under his arm? He just walks in with it. We're going to make it rain, just like God made frogs rain down on Egypt. This guy must be a boat owner because he had to pay for docking. Wow. Hit that horn. Where's that horn?

Who's that USA horn? There it is. I think I have a drum. That might be the name of this episode, actually. This guy must own a boat because he had to pay for docking. Love it. All right. We're going to Arkansas, shall we?

Let's do it. Now, the creeps in this story are the people at Pie 5 Pizza Restaurant. Did you see the logo for Pie 5? Not a good logo. It looks like Opie. Because there's a big pie next to pie, so it's like O, P-I-E. I thought it was Opie pizza. Nobody would eat that.

No! It's the most lonely pizza place ever. You know it would suck. There's just a guy who stands in front of it. He's like, hey. He just chases people away. You want a slice of pizza? There is no pizza.

Be on my pizza show. It's all gone. So the victim here is Michael Brown 44, and can you believe this shit? He was arrested on multiple felony charges following a violent confrontation Monday afternoon at Pi 5 Pizza Restaurant. According to Little Rock Police Department, after Brown and a female acquaintance placed an order, poor Brown was upset because of the portion sizes of the order, Carl. Yeah, they didn't get enough toppings. They did not give this poor man enough toppings. Right.

So when Brown asked to speak with the manager, which is what you're supposed to do, I've learned from all these videos on the internet. You're always supposed to just say, manager, get me a manager. Right. Always works out well. Worker Ebony Smith called her supervisor and handed the phone to Brown. Brown subsequently threw the phone at Ms. Smith, striking her on the side of the face. So after another pie five employee asked Brown to leave, I mean, all he wants him to do is put a little more pepperoni on the fucking thing. He began arguing and went outside. Brown retreated to his work van, walked back.

back to the business holding a gun. Brown was unable to enter the pizzeria since a worker had locked the front door. Unable to gain entry, Brown shot out the glass of the front door. Brown then drove away from the restaurant in a white van carrying the name of his drain cleaning business and the firm's 800 number on the side of it.

I guess we know how he was able to take care of those clogged drains. She's got a gun as one of his tools. I've never seen a drain that I couldn't unclogged, ma'am. The logo should be for his business. Just Yosemite Sam. During a police interview, Brown repeatedly admitted that he was angered by the portion sizes of the food. I get it. Yeah, I want to know, was the pie five employee discipline for not putting enough toppings on the pizza?

Because that's really the problem here. And I have to tell you, I get pissed, too. I don't understand on a large pizza for sausages, $3, and then if you want onions, it's another $3. How is sausage and onions the same thing? It's a fucking racket. Every pizza place, no matter which topic you pick, whether it's a bell pepper or ham, it's three fucking dollars. Those fucking assholes, they got to reach into one of those little containers

that three bucks every time. Three bucks a pop. I got to reach my hand and that little thing it gets something different, three bucks. It doesn't make any sense to me. So I'm glad that he blew out their window. Fuck these people. Agreed. It's a rip off. Don't fuck with food. Now finally, this is not a news story, Carl.

But a friend of mine sent me this, and I thought it was good fodder for the scum parade. This was posted on Reddit under relationship advice. I'm just going to read this. story that I'd like you to comment as we go, shall we? It's worth reading. It's pretty funny. My 24 female boyfriend 25 male sleeps in a, quote, nest, end quote, of clothes and towels and refuses to buy a bed.

I have been dating my boyfriend for three years, and I only just finally visited his apartment this week. Red flag. A hundred percent. You're dating three years you've never seen his place. Right. How is that even possible? I was amazed to see in his bedroom there is no bed.

I feel like amazed is probably the wrong descriptor. What do you think it should be? Disgusted. Yeah, right. You know what you call a bedroom without a bed? A room. Right, right. Why, I think you're used the wrong word there. Now, instead of a bed, there is a huge pile of clothes and towels in the middle of the room.

My boyfriend said it is his quote again, Nest. And he sleeps in it. I couldn't believe this. He showed me how it does it. And he kind of curls up into a ball in the middle of the pile. And then he piles on some of his clothes and towels on top of him. That's how he sleeps. Yeah, it's like a four. It's fun.

It's like getting the cushions off of the couch. It's a lot of fun. This guy's 25 years old? Yeah. It's a man's world that this guy is dating someone who's not sure if she should continue the relationship or not. And then she finally goes to his apartment, finds his nest. She went on to say, he told me he never had a guest in his nest before, but I was welcome to try. Or I could sleep on the sofa.

So what do you think this dumb bitch did, Vinny? well she says she thought it was very odd to have a nest but I tried to sleep in it with him smart

she said I'm fucking idiot she said I found it very uncomfortable and weird no shit and I also

noticed it smelled also no shit what a pile of dirty clothes doesn't smell good do you know how many jiz rags or just in this too oh god

I went to sleep on the sofa in the morning my boyfriend confronted me and said why do you hate my nest I said, quote,

I thought it was weird, uncomfortable, and smelly. I asked, does he wash those clothes? He said, quote, he doesn't because he doesn't wear them. They are just, quote, nesting material. Does he seem like someone who practiced his good hygiene? Do you wash that? Is that a rhetorical question? I was using your jeans, your old jinkos, as a fucking pillow.

I don't know. I like it. I said he should still wash them. she had to tell him you should still wash your fucking nest asshole yeah yeah when you when you lay on something night after night it will get gross just ask him in his couch fuck you both he said if i were going to take the next step and move in together what i'm this is what's this is the craziest part about this this woman's still like yeah but he's still marriage material three years in i've three years in that's the thing it's the time commitment that keeps people together i'm telling you yesterday yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary, a lot of people

lost money yesterday. I just want you to know, Carl, a lot of people lost money. He said he would rather never go to sleep if he couldn't use the nest. I said, if we move in together, we're getting a bed. I said, fine, maybe we'll get a two-bedroom. He took offense to this. So they keep

arguing, and she's like, well, if you have to have it, we'll have to get a two-bedroom because I'm sleeping in a bed. This guy is so stupid. Let your girlfriend buy you a bed and then just build a nest on top of it. And you do slowly over time, right? So she doesn't even notice it. You know, one day you just pull your shirt off and now your shirt's in the bed with you. The next day, your underpants, never made it

into the hamper. It's just over time, just builds, and next thing you know you're in a nest again. This guy seems like a fucking lunatic. Oh, for sure. Maybe he's hiding all his child porn in that nest. Does anyone listening to the show sleep in a nest? Right, right us if you sleep in a nest. We want to hear your story. I don't even fucking go camping. I'm not even to sleep in a fucking sleeping bag. A fucking nest, you animal. Vinny, I got one more. thing that I want to talk about. I know we're going long. No, I don't care. Go ahead. It's a good show.

I told you during the week that I heard Tammy Pescitelli on Opie bashing the comedy club. I heard. And I played this on WATP, but I think it's worth playing again because I want to hear your reaction. Oh, I listen to it. Oh, you listen to it. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to

play it for you again anyway because I just have a couple of clips on here. So, Tammy Pescatelli, if you don't know, was in Rochester just a couple of weeks ago doing an outdoor show before we were entered phase four, whatever allows us to let people into a comedy club to watch comedy again. And so they were doing the show that Vinny has a big part in. Vinny's the one who set up the FM transmitter. I think you helped build the stage and you take care of it.

Yeah, we did all the tech. I was the tech director for the event. You're setting up, you're setting up large screens. You have a whole stage. There's lighting going on. And you have to do this night after night. You have to tear it all down, build it back up again. It's a big deal.

Yeah. It's a lot of work. There's a lot of work that goes into this. Yeah. And you'd think Tammy would be grateful. because there's probably not a lot of places that she could perform. And not a lot of places that are going to give her a paycheck for coming out and performing in the middle of a pandemic.

Correct. Like a lot of state of comedians are having a lot of time. You know her husband had a stroke, right? No, I don't know. Yeah, her husband had a stroke. He was a comic too. He used to tour and be her opener. He had a stroke.

So, like, she hasn't had the best of luck the last, like, couple years. So I thought it was really great to have her because, you know, what a great thing to to help her work and earn money. Well, this is how she felt about it. The only thing that was bad is there was an open roadway in between the stage and the parking lot. So that was a little bit weird. punchline and a bus would drive by. But it was completely humiliating.

If I had enough money, I would have never done it. But I don't have the money and they also need to stay open. We would have been open without you. I will say that. I know. She saved the comedy club. Thank goodness for Tammy Pescateli. I'm going to make sure to tell Mark Kipolito that she's taking credit for saving the comedy club.

Yeah, well, I didn't, purposely did not play this for him. Oh, I'm going to. Oh, God. His head's going to explode. is that because burns the bridges here Tammy like here you don't realize she's humiliated here is the truth to what she said there is a there is a curdle of truth

do you remember when I did when I wore the stuttering John shirt you came to the show yeah standing up there and doing comedy outside to a parking lot full of cars fucking does blow Carl of course if I had to do five minutes and it felt like an hour she had to do an hour which I'm sure had to feel like

listening to her act normally well it's got to be tough because she only has 20 minutes of material so to do an hour is that so I don't I don't know if you heard this, but later on at the end of the show, Opie brings it up again. Did you hear this part? No. Oh, this is great.

They doubled down on it. Opie, for some reason, this is 30 minutes later on in the show. He's like, man, let's talk about that gig you did in Rochester again. I keep going back to you and Rochester performing in front of cars. Oh, my God. I just want to hug you. Listen. I just want to hug you.

If I didn't, yeah, if I didn't hang myself that night, I don't think I ever will. And how about this? I didn't even sell out the parking lot. whose fault was that there's nothing else to do with the town bonus because I didn't sell out the parking lot she if she was ever going to kill herself it would have been after the gig and comedy at the carl said

I'm just going to send this over to Mark real quick but just make sure that he knows about this but it's so fucking funny because like yeah what a bunch of dicks we are you didn't sell out and there was literally stuttering John's podcast of course it's not going to sell out who's going to hear about it was nothing

else happening in the town and people are like, you know what? Stay home. That's a really good point because in Rochester, people probably don't know this. We have 16 festivals going on every single weekend. We only have two months to summer. So we cram everything in and the comedy club has so much to compete with. You got 14 festivals. You got a riot up by the lake.

You got a Red Wigs game. So the fact that there's nothing else going on, people are like, do you want to just do nothing again or go see Tammy Peskatelli? Do nothing again? sounds good. That's apparently what happened. And not for nothing. Tammy's always been very nice to me and I'm not trying to shit on her. I'm surprised she would say that the way she said it. Me too. But I do believe that there is a kernel of truth that it is a misery to stand on the stage performing a bunch of cars. Yes. And I will say that during her set at one point, some guys racing motorcycles did just fly right down that street. Oh, that's hilarious. Right in the

middle of her, on joke. Oh my God. Why didn't I think of that? That's a great way to heckle someone. just parked right in front of the stage, got out of the car, walked around. What's going on around here? Just get out and start changing a tire. Checking my oil. Get the dipstick out. Oh, my God.

What did I think of that? That was so fucking funny. Well, either way, Tammy, can't wait to see you the next time you're here. I'll make sure to play those four around the Carlson cast. It's funny, too, because she thought nobody would ever hear this because she said it on Opie show. Normally she would have been right, but unfortunately.

Yeah, Carl's going to nark you tomorrow. I'm not going to do it. I don't even want to be in the room when he hears that one. Oh, that's fucking funny. All right. Adios, we're done. Ah, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be done.

Okay, yeah. All right, Vinny. Yeah. I'm gonna try this again. He must be a boat owner because he had to pay for docking. Nailed it.