The Creep Off - #25 In the Navy

Episode Date: August 24, 2020

In honor of the 2020 democratic national convention this week Vinnie & Karl search for the creepiest democrat! In the Scum Parade we meet another phony political hopeful, a terrible babysitter and an even worse child salesman! Also in today’s episode we address cheating and someone spins the wheel! Remember the only way to vote in this week’s contest is to find us on twitter @creepoffpod

I was thinking about what we should do for this, for today's episode. Yeah. And I have two jars of peanut butter here. All right. I'll eat one of the jars. Do you have any pretzels or anything that I can? No, I just have one spoon. Just share the spoon.

Wait a second. What do you mean share? I have two jars of peanut butter here, Carl. Oh, fuck. I see what's going on here. You know, Carl, I'll give you one of them in a spoon and I'll eat the other one, like fucking Winnie the Pooh and a honeypot. It wouldn't be the first time today that you've done that.

No, about 2 a. Not even the first time today. Let's get this motherfucker started, shall we? Let's do it. Ola, Creepos. Welcome to another edition of the worst contest on the internet. It's the creep off. I'm your host.

Hot Carla, my co-host. What's going on, Vinny? You know, I probably have that track separated out. I can give you just the vocal track. So you don't have those loud drums and guitar going in the background there. You just offer this now? I know, right? I just ought to this out.

That sounded like shit. I can't believe with everything we have going on today, we're in a four to four tie. One of us is spinning the wheel of consequence today. We're doing it for the first time live on video and you're trying to make more work for yourself? Just say, hey, I'm Vinny. This is Carl. Why are you trying to make more? You're already, you're tripping out of the gate, my friend.

What's fucking new, Carl? I trip out of the gate all the time, Carl. I'm very concerned about what's going to happen today. Oh, it's a bad day. Can we look at the voting? No. No? Well, I guess we can.

We should. Guess what we do at the beginning of every episode to see who won last. week. Let's take a look at the voting. There it is. Hey, Carl and Tanya Hardy, 52%. So that must mean that you're going to spin the wheel, right, Vinnie? Because I won fair and square, right? I believe we've had a few conversations this week that you initiated.

Yeah. I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't on the up-and-up. You think? I'm starting to think that. We've noticed dozens of votes coming in overnights for one or the other of us going back and forth, back and forth. This isn't the first week that this has happened. Yeah, we've been following this kind of close. following this kind of closely and I don't think the people who are

actually running the bot farms realize that we are paying attention to how this works. Yeah and guys I know that you're you think that you're rigging this whole system this isn't this isn't a real thing. I mean this is just a joke show like way to ruin our joke show good good job yeah thanks for nothing made this whole thing not fun and what we learned this week is that there are some people who have been apparently

using what are they what are they called I don't even want to get into the technology behind it I want to get more people an idea they're going into voting for Carl then they're going in voting for me

and they're like whoever these people are they're in some type of like feud so it's weird because I knew that you had enemies on the internet I mean you're unlikable but you know that I have enemies on the internet there are people who dislike me

Carl there are a lot of Can you believe it? I'm shocked that people were helping me to begin with because I assume everybody would be helping you because you are so lovable and I'm clearly the heel of the show. I agree. And this proves that

you've never made a poignant argument that really every vote you've ever gotten was for people who just dislike me. I think that we know that for a fact. I don't think we do know that, Carl. All right, so we talked about it. Vinnie and I said, okay, we can't use this rigged voting

to determine who's going to spin the wheel this week. We have to do something that's fair and square to determine who's winning this round tied four to four of the creep off. Yeah. You ready for this, many? Well, yeah, we're going to do it at the end of the show. Do you want to do it now?

Oh, okay. Yeah, we can hold it to the end. That's fine. We are going to settle this tie without using this rigged vote. We have a plan. It's a very simple one. After we present our arguments and do the scum parade, we're going to have a good old fashion,

Rocheambeau. That's right. Little rock paper scissors. Oh, Rochambeau. Two out of three. Two out of three, loser spins. We both agreed. Yep.

So that's what we're going to do. You're going to watch the spinning of the wheel of consequences at the end of the show today, or you'll listen to it, whichever you're doing, because we are on YouTube now. So this week, the only way you're going to be able to vote on the creepoff is through Twitter. Make sure you were following us at Creepoff Pod. Can we have it so that you have to have more than one follower in order to vote to? Because people can just create it. All right, I'll stop giving people ideas.

Oh, my God. That's true. They're going to have to find, like, you have to have like a five follower minimum to be able to vote on the creep off. I wish there was a way to do that. So, Vinny, the other rule change that I want to announce today is we're going to make this a little bit more interesting. Yes, yes. So whoever has to spin the wheel of consequences gets the first right of refusal when it lands on the consequence. If they're like, there's no fucking way in hell I'm driving to Gary and Deanna or whichever one they're really against.

Yeah. They can refuse it. However, what that means is the other person, the winner, gets to pick anything else on the wheel. Consequence. And you have to go along with that one. So you can say no to one It's quite a gamble But it is

You gotta kind of figure out Because you're automatically going to get the second worst thing On the fucking way of that A hundred percent Correct Because it's not like either one of us It's going to take it easy

On the other one We don't like each other Not particularly Correct So this will be fun I think you're bringing out The worst of people I do that

I tend to do that So who's gonna go first I'm gonna go first Really? Because I did win the rigged voting Congratulations So that means that I'm up And oh we didn't even talk

about our theme this week Today's theme is very simple, ladies and gentlemen. We are going to be celebrating America in the most partisan way possible. In honor of the Democratic National Convention that was last week, this week, we will be introducing and trying to discover who is the creepiest Democrat. This week, Creepiest Democrat. Next week, creepiest Republican. Yes, we are very fair here. Yeah, equal opportunity for us.

So this week, we're talking about U.S. politics. We're talking about the creepiest Democrat, and away we go. All right, Vinnie, my pick for Ara this week is Errah, Tad Kennedy. I knew you were going to go to Ted Kennedy. No, I'm just kidding. I'm not going to Ted Kennedy. But you know what he did? He murdered a lady.

He did. He was driving drunk, drove into a river or a lake. Chappaquitic river. Yeah, drove into a river and fleeed the seat of the accident and the woman died. He fled the seat of the accident. The woman drowned. Then he went back to his hotel and went down to the front desk and complained that people next door we're being too loud.

It's an amazing story. And when Trump says make America great again, I think that's what he's talking about. Because that was back when you could drive drunk, murder people, still be a senator. Good times. America's got to get back to the fundamentals. No consequences back then. All right. So who is your creep?

I'm fascinated to know. My creep was a congressman representing the great state of New York. And here's an example of him fired up on Capitol Hill. You vote yes if you believe yes. You vote in favor of something. You believe it's the right thing. If you believe it's the wrong thing, you vote, no. We are following a procedure.

I will not yield to the gentleman, and the gentleman will observe regular order. The gentleman will observe regular order. This is Carlos Danger, fighting on behalf of the 9-11 first responders and the 911 first responders bill. They have a right to see my penis. Back in 2010, Carlos Danger, a.k.a. Anthony Wiener. Which, by the way, either one's a stage name. You don't have to go with Carlos Dager.

So you went for the easiest possible creep this week. This guy is the definition of a creep. When I think creep, I think Anthony Wiener. Let's talk about this. Let's talk about what happened. This guy was sending dickpicks to random girls on the internet. And that's fine. Except for when you tweet it from your account as a U.S. congressman and then deny

that it happened. Let's let's talk about his denial after he tweeted this out to the world. He thought he was sending this sexy selfie to this girl. Instead, he accidentally tweeted the picture of his weiner to the whole world. He didn't understand the technology. And then tried to lie his way

out of the humongous old. Look, this was a prank that I've now been talking about for a couple of days. He literally came out and he goes, this was a prank. It's because my last name's Weiner. So someone's pranking me and posting pictures of weeners. Ha ha, guys, come on, not funny.

And you know, he's, I love when people are lying because they go through a bunch of different scenarios. They have a story for everything. And so, in every little detail, they have a whole reason why ready to go. So first, it was a prank. And then he was hacked. The answer is I did not send that tweet. My system was hacked. And my penis.

Well, and then they asked him, well, is that a picture of your penis or not? And he wasn't sure and he couldn't tell. And the reason why I had to pick this one, Vinnie, is because on June 8th, 2011, Breitbart was a guest on the Ope and Anthony show. I don't know if you remember this, but Breitbart had the pick of Anthony's Weiner. And he showed it to both hosts, Opie and Anthony, not realizing they had cameras in the room that captured it. And then Opey and Anthony Leak to the picture of Anthony Weiner's penis, which ultimately forced him to admit that that was his. penis that he was sending out.

I've exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years. To be clear, I have never met any of these women or had physical relationships at any time. Oh, that's the worst way to get busted. You didn't even get laid? You didn't even get your dick wet and you got busted? What a creep. Also, I love when things like this happen.

People don't think that what they do on the internet is real. Correct. I don't, nothing I do on the internet is real. I do love the headlines that came out, Weiner exposed, tip of the Weiner, Weiner's pickle, beat it, Weeners rise and fall. You know that they're having, the editors are having so much fun with this story. Now, the worst part about Weiner sexting with random women on the internet is that, I don't know if you know this, but Anthony Weiner was married to Uma Abedine, who is a pretty, prominent person in the Democratic Party, Hillary Clinton's right-hand woman.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was something going on with her while he was sexting with women. And wife Huma was actually pregnant while her man was sending other women snaps of his wedding tackle. There being a little cute in that video that I found. Yeah, British media is the worst.

And here's the thing. Like, Huma is her name? Yeah. It's a good-looking woman. Oh, yeah. Beautiful lady. Yeah. Yeah, he really had a good thing going on. He was a freaking on track. Do you realize that guy could probably be I mean he was John Stewart's buddy.

He was on the daily show all the time. Like he was a rising star in the Democratic Party. He could have had a senator by now. Well, yeah, at least. Everyone knew who he was. He was doing very well for himself. Well, unfortunately, he had to resign from the House of Representatives. And this is one of the most hilarious resignation press conferences you'll ever hear.

So today I'm announcing my resignation. nation from Congress. Yeah! Bye-bye, pervert! Bye-bye, pervert! Just what you want to hear when you have like a tearful moment. Please I saw that. We're going to need that one.

Oh, my gosh. Bye-bye, pervert. Yes, we are going to need that on the board. So, so funny. I love New Yorkers. New Yorkers are just the fucking best people. So you would think Anthony Wiener, having embarrassed himself and his party and

his wife, and prominent Democrats, including the Clinton's, would just go away. Wouldn't that be the right move? Just go away. Two years later, 2013, he decides to run for mayor of New York. And he was actually doing pretty well.

He was going to be the mayor of New York. Yeah, he was leading in the polls. Let's hear that. Short new cycles, come short memories. And this summer, Weiner ran in the Democratic primaries for mayor of New York City, shooting to the top of the pack until Sydney Leathers burst onto the scene.

Now the latest on the Anthony Wiener's sexting scandal. Speaking out for the first time, Sydney Leathers. About the raunchy text messages, she exchanged with the New York mayoral candidate. He even had a sexy online nom de game. It's Carlos Danger. That's right. That's when he became Carlos Danger, because how would anyone figure out that it's Anthony Wheater is sending his dick around if it's from an account called Carlos Danger?

I mean, how would you possibly understand that? I think that's the second greatest online alias for somebody who's. What's number one? Was Mike Vicks, Ron Mexico. Oh, Ron, I forgot about Ron Mexico rules. Yeah, Ron Mexico is a good one. Carlos Danger. It's just a dad nickname.

That's a boomer nickname. I will admit it was the name of my fantasy football team for, I think, two years in a row after this happened. The Carlos Danger's. Carlos Danger. So, unfortunately, he runs for mayor. He's still sexting with Chick. Some chick released. that and things did not go well for him after that. And he ended up receiving, I think,

less than 5% of the vote in the primary and did not have a shot in hell of becoming the mayor of New York. So once again, he's washed up. He needs to go away. He needs to see the error in his ways. But no, there's another round of sexing in 2015. And this one is creepy. Anthony Wiener and more trouble for him. Child Services is now investigating the former a congressman after his latest round of sexting, which included a photo showing his young son in the background. That's right. He was sexting with a chick from his bed, and he's in his underpants again, and his big

penis is hanging out, right next to his four-year-old's face, which is very disturbing and a problem, and now child protective services is getting involved, and he explains why he did this, because personally, when I'm sexing with chicks, I keep four-year-olds out of the picture, but... Was he just trying to show her that it works? Maybe. Or maybe it's one of those things where you're like, you put it next to a nickel so you can understand how big it is. Oh, it was a scale situation.

It was a scale situation. Okay. Instead of a Coke can, he just had a four-year-old. Yeah. So, he explains why. God bless the person with a confidence to put their dick next to a Coke can. God bless him. I know. That's impressive.

I find like a Coke can key chain. That's my move. Ah, ha, ha, ha. Works every time. That's how we landed. Women are dumb. It's how we landed in Mrs. Hamburger. Right.

Women are dumb. Wait, why am I getting dachs? What did I do? All right. So this is, he explains why he did that. In another series of texts, Weiner allegedly describing his son as a, quote, chick magnet. This is the third time Weiner's sexting has gone public. So after the third time, finally, Uma's had enough. He realized that women like kids. That's what he realized that the kid was a real chick magnet.

It's a chick man. If you're walking in the park. It's like a dog. Like, women will come up to you. You get a chance to, like, break the ice with that. But not when you're sexting. There's nothing sexy about having a toddler on your bed with you. There's, it's such a turd off in every single way.

This guy is fucking stupid. He really is. He's a dumb idiot. So... He's a Democrat. So his wife decided finally to get, uh, to get separated. Now, Weiner's wife, Huma Aberdeen, Hillary Clinton's top aide, has announced her separation from her husband.

All right. You're ready for the kicker, Vinnie. So that was in August of 2016. On September 21st, one month later, he's busted yet again. And this time, he was engaged in sexting with a 15-year-old girl. What do you doing, Anthony? Everyone is looking at your phone at this point. You fucking moron.

And you're sexting with a 15-year-old. He figured she wouldn't tell anybody. On the 25th, Judge Janice Coat agreed to a plea agreement, sentencing, a plea agreement sentence totally 21 months in federal prison, three years supervised released, and for Wiener to register as a sex offender. Weiner was reported on November 6th of that year. He was just released February 17, 2019 in order to register as a sex offender in April of that year. Anthony Wiener never even got his dick wet. And now he's a registered sex offender and obviously has a terrible reputation. His career is over and he's an embarrassment to himself and his party.

Yes, he legitimately did ruin his entire life. He did. Lost his hot wife. Multiple times. I mean, this went on for five plus years and he just couldn't stop sexting with girls. It's a weird thing. Yeah. Have you heard of webcam sites?

And the best point I think you made, and I will give you credit. on this point is that he never even got fucking laid because if he did get fucking laid those stories would have been out there and he would have been like a real fucking politician his defense was I've never even met these women and I'm going that's worse

you threw away your career for randos on the internet what are you doing you fucking idiot so Anthony Wiener vote on Twitter for Carl and Anthony Wiener video what do you got for creepiest Democrat it's so funny Carl

because, you know, we're both New Yorkers. We are. I also have a former New York congressman. Oh, great. My creep is former Democratic congressman from the great state of New York, Eric Massa. Eric Massa, who I believe represented an area close to Rochester. Yes, yes. In fact, some of the court cases that came from this were settled in Monroe County Court, where we live, Carl.

Beautiful. NASA graduated from the U.S. Navy Academy in 1981. He went on to serve in the Navy for 24 years. He qualified as a service warfare officer and eventually served as an aide to former NATO Supreme Allied Commander, General Wesley Clark. So Wesley Clark ran for president in 06, and Massa was kind of close to him, and he started working for him and got decided that he was going to run for Congress in his home state of New York.

So he ran against a guy named Randy Cool. Do you remember that name, Carl? It sounds like a pro wrestler, Randy Cool. Yeah, KUHL. And here's the thing. Was he the WCW or WVE? I can't remember now. That's a WCW name if I ever heard of it.

Yeah, it's definitely WCW. His match with Sting was one of the best matches I've ever seen. Randy Cool. So Randy Cool beat him the first time out. With a chair? No. Did his manager cheat for him? Was the rough distracted?

How did this work? Listen, Randy Cool was a creep in his own. Too bad he was a Republican. I could have might have used him. At one point, Randy Cool held a shotgun to his wife's head in an altercation. And he still beat Eric Massa the first time. he ran for Congress. Wow. Yeah. So he ran again in 2008. It was a narrow loss and he used his military service, talked it up, and he won. Now, Congress, your term is two years, right? Yeah. So 2008,

it's gone in a blink, you know? He 2008, he's elected. 2009, 2010-ish, right there. You got to start running again. Oh, yeah. You have to start campaigning as soon as you get elected. Yeah, you're basically just trying to make money, make money, make money. Yeah. So 2010, he announces he is going to how he is going to be running for re-election. And then things slowed down a little bit. And Eric Massa announced that he was not going to be running again because he had cancer. All right. That's enough. I think we get the point. That poor guy. All right. So we're going to discover. No, no, no. No, no. He doesn't get cancer. But some other news came out. Here is a clip from ABC News. What we've heard from Congressman Massa last week, on Wednesday, was having a

recurrence of cancer on Thursday. He was guilty of using salty language on Friday we learned he's before the Ethics Committee to be investigated on charges of sexual harassment. Yeah, Carl. Wait, salty language? Yeah, yeah, that's what he said.

So here's the thing about Eric Nassah. Unlike Anthony Wiener, well, Eric, Anthony Wiener just shut up and went to rehab. Yeah. And like, you know, he kept fucking up privately. Eric Massa wouldn't shut up. Yeah, in fact, he wrote this song. I freaking hate vaginas.

Which is a catchy, Denny. Before he got elected, I don't think they really vetted him too, too well. No. Because, you know, I got to tell you, there's some rumors about the Navy. I don't know if you've heard any of them. Where sometimes these guys get into a little bit of trouble, Carl. Here's some interesting stories that were reported in the Washington Post on March 10th. They announced that he was under investigation.

on those allegations, but they also say that he was accused while he was in the Navy of groping multiple male staffers and other people on the ship. According to Peter Clark, a Navy shipmate, Massel was notorious for making unwanted advances towards subordinates. He tells the story of his... Unwanted. Unwanted. Are we sure about that? Unwanted. So one particular story is he shared a room with one guy, and he said that he woke up with Massa on the edge of the bed

and Masses started trying to massage him and said, don't you want to get one of my special massages? He recalled, he called them a Massa massage. All right. It's branding. I'm a marketing guy. I appreciate that. You got to brand it. Spread the word. Come to Masses. Massa massage. Happy, Masses, happy endings. Ron Moss, a Navy Shipmate, Boris's roommate.

I love a good music band. he said that he woke up one night he was shared another bunk with Massa this is a different guy now they had bunk beds Carl this guy was on the top Massa was on the bottom and one night he wakes up to find Massa

crawled up on the top bunk undoing his pants while trying to quote snorkel him all right I'm getting a bit of a chub right now this is a sexy story did he said this in the penthouse I guess They also claim that he used to go down

When he was a lieutenant commander He would go down to where the men's in the subordinate showers were And he would do his laundry there Right by the showers He was just hanging out by the showers, Carl Nothing weird about that, right? And they didn't report him Because he outranked a lot of these guys

And they felt that he was a very vengeful kind of a guy And they knew that there would be problems if they did They said he would retaliate That he was quote a cocky guy competent, but he saw himself as a future admiral. It doesn't surprise me that he wound up in Congress, one of them said. So,

as he's in the Navy, I guess, he kind of do his fair share of trouble. He was sexually assaulting other sailors. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, and now he's in Congress, and his cancer's acting up, and all of a sudden he's not going to run for re-election. He decided he was going to go and do one of the weirdest

hours of fucking television you will ever see. Instead of going to like CNN or MSS, NBC, a place that's friendly to the liberal agenda, he decided to go visit Glenn Beck. Wow. And we're talking 2010 Glenn Beck.

Which was probably one of the top rated shows. I'm sure the audience size was pretty good for him. It's not people who are going to be all that sympathetic to his cause. So they just basically try to introduce him and say, what's going on here. Here's a little clip of him trying to explain the salty language allegation

against him. The new allegations, first it was you made an off-color remark or you hit on a guy at a wedding. Explain that one first. Okay, so we're at a wedding, New Year's Eve. Everyone had too much to drink. There were 300 people there. I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her, sat down.

I went back to my staff, all the bachelors. They all made the remarks that you can imagine about you ought to do this, yeah, I'd do that. I grabbed a guy, tussle to say, I know I ought to do it to you, and there were other words, and they're all out there. I gave a full and complete disclosure, And I left because I realized the party was getting to a place that I shouldn't be. So, Carl, did you hear that story?

Yeah, that story's insane. And by the way, in your apology, if it starts with we were all drinking a lot. Stop right there. Now, you noticed. Jesus. You noticed it. He said, I went over to the other bachelors. Now, who are these bachelors, Carl?

Well, when you're in Congress, they don't pay a lot of money and to live in D.C. is very expensive. So what he did was, according to most people, something that kind of Congressman, people probably shouldn't do. He decided to live with a bunch of his staffers. They all rented a condo together, Carl, and they all live together. And according to, I believe it was Bernie Frank's office, he felt that he had a very, very inordinate amount of young homosexual people that worked for him in his office. Probably coincidence. But why do they live together, Carl? Here, let Eric Massa explain it. You all live. Your wife at that one? No, this isn't a townhouse. We all live together. All the bachelors in need because nobody can afford in Washington, D.C. to pay the

outrageous rent. All the bachelors? All the bachelors all lived with them. Who uses words like that? He's got these bachelors living with him. Yeah. All of a sudden, he was accused the very day of this interview, 90 minutes before the interview, it came out that he was accused of groping them. Yeah. Here's his defense to that. Now they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yeah, I did. Now did I grope him. I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was his 50th birthday, Carl.

Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Maybe the public spotlight isn't the place for you, Eric Baza. Maybe being on television is not a good idea for you. See, don't you understand. This is all just horseplay, Carl. This is just horseplay. This is just horseplay.

This is what 50-year-old guys do with each other. They have tickle fights. That was his excuse. Here you go. listen. I never translated from my days in the Navy to being a congressman. But I did not. Let me do very clear. I know if tickle

fights in the Navy. I've never been in the Navy. I don't know if tickle fights in the Navy. Let me show you something. He's like let me show you something Glenn. Let me show you what really goes out of the Navy. And he pulls out a photo album, Carl, which is like your own personal photo album. Not like a published book. Just a book

of pictures that he had. Okay. And listen to the description. You're going to show me tickle fights? I'm going to show you a lot more than tickle fights. He can't, I don't know if you, that's a crossing the line ceremony in 1983. If you were to take this out of context today, I don't know if you can show that. You really, Harry, you know that. Glenn Beck was speechless after this.

He just went, uh, yeah, uh, actually his official statement was, cheese louise. Yeah, he started showing him these pictures of something called a crossing the line ceremony. which number one I'm out yeah give away yeah give away exactly right

why did he go on television who advised him to do this so I'm and to show and he kept the photos of this he had a photo book just in case he's in front of a national audience he can talk to millions of people

once I'm just in case he wants to recollect about his old times of the Navy he's got his photo album now I called a buddy of mine this morning who served in the Navy Did she tell him to vote for you multiple times

when you called him? No, I asked him his strategy on rock paper scissors No, he was in the Navy he served and I asked him I go, dude, what the fuck is a crossing the line ceremony? Because number one,

if you're invited to something called a crossing the line ceremony, no thank you. I'm going to stay on this side of the line. I'm good. Not interested. Well, this is what my friend, I'm not going to say his name

because technically they're not supposed to talk about this. This is one of those. things that's supposed to stay on a ship. So I'm not going to say his name, but he left me a voicemail explaining his, um, his ceremony. And then he also told me a little bit about what might have been happening in the 80s. So my experience back in 2005 when I crossed the equator in the Navy was and they, they forced me to do this. They even threatened time off with my girlfriend back in Japan and Liberty, uh, in Australia. So the first thing they do is they wake you up and

they make you get dressed with your pants on backwards. So the zippers like it, your asshole. So I don't know what kind of homo erotic stuff happened back in the day. They make you eat you with your hands behind. Did you hear that? I know what kind of homo erotic stuff happened back in the day. Yeah. It's pretty self-explanatory at this point. I keep going. You're back. They make you crawlful garbage. They make you line up and bowed down to this guy who's dressed up as King Neptune with like a beard and ask for his like forgiveness or his approval. One of those two things. I heard back. in the day you had to kiss his foot. I'm not sure. Um, but yeah, that was my experience. I'm

sorry, it wasn't that gross or disgusting. It was pretty, they just sprayed us with water and called us piece of the shit. There you go. He left out one thing where the commanding officer would say, let's see that dick. Let's not forget that. So here's the other thing you told me. Back in the day, what they used to do was because they were the crossing the line stance were crossing the equator. And when you would cross the equator for the first time, they would haze you. Yeah. So they would take eggs, raw eggs and crack them all over, like, the deck of the ship.

Yeah, I'll stay in the northern hemisphere, please. Yes, please. I'm going up here. This is fine. And they take eggs, right? Yeah. And they keep the shells and everything, and they leave it all there. And it starts cooking and getting gross because it's so fucking hot on the deck.

And then they make you crawl through it on your back. And your back gets all cut up and shit. That's terrible. Yeah. That's not even fun. They're funny. Nope. Plus, I would have eaten those eggs.

I would have liked an omit, actually. Here is, I would like you hear Congressman NASA describing his picture. It looks like an orgy in Caligula. That's what he said about his own picture that he brought. Yeah, he's like, you're the one who brought this evidence, dummy. He's trying to say that there's nothing wrong with what he was doing. It was all just hazing, and that's what we did in the Navy. Wow.

He's saying that it is fine to grope and sexually harass your staffers. Because back in the days of the Navy, you were allowed to do whatever you wanted to, Carl. When you cross the border. This is a bad argument. And when he don't congressmen have staffers and people who might like tell him like, run this by me? What are you going to say to Glenn back on national television? At that point, they were all suing him, Carl. Okay.

So here's the last clip I'm going to play you because he didn't stop with that. Like he kept going and he went on to Larry King. And Larry King, this old man asked him an interesting question. We have to ask that. Are you gay? Well, here's that answer. I'm not going to answer that. In year 2010, why don't you ask my wife, ask my friends, ask the 10,000 sailors I serve with in the Navy. I'm not going to answer that.

You don't have to. I said, well, but it's an insulting. Larry. I don't mean it to insult you. No, no, not me. It insults every gay American because somehow, yes, it does. It somehow classifies people. Why would anybody even ask that question in this day age?

Because you said you groped someone. And here you go back to that. And Larry, and I explained what that was three times. Three times, I told you. I was just fucking stupid, dumbass. Is that not the best interview? I will not answer that question. It's insulting.

It's insulting to ask if you're gay after you've been caught trying to have gay sex with men multiple times. Now, ask my wife, could you imagine what she would say about that? stories about this guy flooded from all over the place. Of course. He starts going out. One of the stories was that he went to the funeral of a Marine in Hornel, New York, and was hitting on a bartender at the, like, the party after. Yeah. Yeah, the guy was obviously cruising, and he can't even admit to himself, and he can't even

be open about it. He also has the world's worst gay d'ar. He's constantly hitting on straight men. Yeah. That's how people get pissed off at you when you're trying to fuck straight men. Gay guys love to suck dick. you can hit on gay guys all day no one'll say anything it's fine

I will say this Eric Massa left Congress and after he left they had to pay over $100,000 in settlements Congress did this is taxpayer money yeah I mean that they had to dude

that we didn't have to pay yeah I know to just some dudes who's dicks this guy grabbed yeah well what did Anthony Weeder cost the taxpayers I'm just saying it his creepiness here

cost us money yeah it's absolutely insane and then he says everybody in the navy knows about it yeah i know that that's a terrible defense ask all the sailors that i i sailed with if you're gay or not yeah i don't think you want us asking them it looks like yeah they absolutely already told you it's been in the navy knows it everybody in the navy knows it right and anybody it's been in the navy knows it fucking crazy all right that's my creep eric mastic he was groping dudes and that even after he left Congress there was some situations where he was paying his wife

out of campaign money that was still in there and yeah he got into a lot of trouble and you want to know the fun thing his cancer he's still alive in 2020 good for you Eric keep on trucking quick question for you Vinny did he run for mayor of Rochester after that is he a registered sex

offender with already 15 year olds involved in any of this creepiness I don't know just saying well did Anthony Wiener actually sexually assault anyone Just saying. This guy was sexually assaulting subordinates. Have you ever gotten a dick pick on your phone? I would call that sexual harassment and assault.

100%. That 15-year-old was asking for it. Don't I sl like that. Don't isolate that. Please don't I say it. Maybe people will start hating you more than they hate me now. Thank you. Thank you for saying that.

Yeah. Well, you're ready for, let's do some voicemails. You could vote this week. Obviously, you're going to vote for Eric Massa, our Navy boy, and screw Carl and Anthony Weiner. Vote on our Twitter account, which is at Creep Off Pod. That is correct. Now, as always, folks, we encourage you to leave us voicemails.

The numbers 585-371-8-18108 if you would like to ever call us. This week, we had so many calls. And not all of them were good, so I'm not going to play all of them. Okay. Lenny as Murray-Gorto. Carl as Murray-Fail. And Lenny Daischro Como Inios Pequinos. How do you want to go?

Banfrey, this guy's Spanish, well done. Who knew? At an eighth grade level, no doubt. Who knew? Well done. Check it in, our pal, imbecile. Inbecile here. First, let me congratulate you on the triumphant return of the cheap trick, scum parade theme.

It is a snappy composition, which gets to the point. Also, if I'd like to listen to an entire cock-rock song, I will do it on my own time. Fair enough. Secondly, last week, you two were waxing philosophic on how to obtain underage ass on the Internet. As a former pimp, back in my day, we bought and sold all underage prostitutes in the comment section of the CNN website. Nowadays, I believe all transactions take place. on stuttering John's YouTube channel

Oregon Oregon Oregon Oh imbecile you rock buddy Embecile will have MVP of the voicemails Agreed Hey Vinnie I got a voicemail

That came in And I think this is fun Because I don't hear the voicemails That come into the creep-off Until Vinny plays them And if you want to leave one for me specifically Go ahead and call the WATP hotline No you do

No you call the creep-off hotline And I'll play it out here This is a person. So last week I had Tanya Harding because we had professional athlete, biggest creep. And someone is playing a little Monday morning quarterback, pardon the pun. Tanya fucking Harding is the creepiest athlete. Jesus Christ, Carl, what do you thinking? Lenny Dykstra.

Lenny Dykstra. He fucking killed six million Jews in World War II, then topped it off with 20 million more Russians afterwards. Then he goes to fucking Penn. State and molest boys for 30, adolescent boys for 30 years in the football showers, then moves on to Michigan State and frickin is the last one before a period hits the gymnasts. What the fuck were you thinking? That is brilliant and I'm pissing. I didn't think of it.

That's fucking funny. I mean, I don't know how you didn't either. I think we had a rule about no money Dykstra. I think that was our rule for the creepiest athlete. You know what? I think you are right there. I think we did. But that's fucking funny.

That's way funny On the Tanya Harding, thank you Are you ready for the skum parade mini Hit it, baby All right, this is for Embesale Wilhelm The Scum parade These are my peeps

The Skum parade There's nothing but creeps The Skum parade I'm Carla Lansing show You know, if only someone had a really good idea for a real snappy opening and closing theme song that they shared with their co-hosts. We'll get to it. We'll get to it.

The department's a little bit backlogged right now. We'll get to it. Oh, they're all busy on their WATP nonsense. So, correct. Let's start off. We're going to go to the Dominican Republic today, Carl. All right. Let's do it.

Looks like one of the employee's cup of coffee with baseball's Washington Nationals is over. The MLB club says it is fired a team employee who is allegedly seen on video tossing two cups of hot coffee into the face of a convenience store employee did you see the video of this i most certainly did wow that was something fucking out two cups of coffee with no whids on them and just both of them shot into her face yeah and there was nobody there with that little speed clock to count how fast the coffee went to her face correct we don't know if it was a change up or a curveball that's what he was fired for is not keeping track of the times uh the incident occurred in the dominican republic where the employee identified as hazel morel was working as an administrator of the national

Baseball Academy in the Caribbean. The Associated Press Report of the video shot from behind the store's counter shows a customer appearing to get into a dispute with the cashier. Suddenly, the customer picks up two cups of coffee and splashes the contents in the cashier's face. And like Carl said, he did not miss. He was right on target. So this guy worked for the Washington Nationals, the baseball team. He was fired.

And what I get really annoyed with with our news media is the information they leave out. This is how you know that it's skewed reporting. I went and looked at every article about this incident, and none of them mentioned a very important fact, Vinnie. What's that? Very important fact about why he threw the coffee at her. She was a Phillies fan. Oh, she was wearing a Bryce Harper jersey.

It's an important detail, don't you think? Sure. You work for the Nationals, and there's a fucking Phillies fan of the Dominican Republic selling you your coffee? How else are you supposed to react to that? I've committed many crimes against people wearing Jim Kelly jersey. so I totally understand. Right.

And if they leave it out of the article, it's like, by the way, Vinnie's a Dolbin's fan, you're like, oh, okay, all right. Now I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, long and story short, he's fired and they don't know

if he's going to face any particular criminal. Charges, it is the Dominican Republic. I'm sure that was the least of their problems that day. And I'm surprised they have a working camera. Is that racist? Is that racist to say? They were just waiting to film the news and that convenience start right after the assault was done.

It's like, T.O. Their one camera. bring her the camera and that's how this whole thing got reported they were just sitting there watching it we need to go right here all right so that's that story we're going to head to Kentucky today Carl

according to police a tipster called 911 around 120 a.m. Sunday to report that a male suspect approached two individuals and offered to sell them a four year old child at the Speedy Mark and Corbyn's a city near in the southeastern part of Kentucky witnesses provided Kentucky

state police officials with the license plate of the suspects white Nissan, which led them to a home about five miles away. Inside, they found Gertrude Hinson 26 and Harry Day 29. During questioning, Day and Hinson reportedly admitted to using methamphetamine earlier in the day, a search of the residents turned up meth and drug paraphernalia. Cops say additionally, Day had a visible track marks on his arm and was still bleeding. That's always nice. Since Day had driven back to Hinson's residence from the Speedy Mart, police administered a field sobriety test, which he failed. Day was arrested and charged with promoting human trafficking, DUI, and two vehicular accounts.

Hinson was charged with possession and endangering the welfare of a child. The child was obviously taken out of the home, and they were both booked into the Knox County Jail. There's a 26-year-old woman named Gertrude. Is that shocking to you? I do heroin, too, if that was... Who is it heroin? Who is naming their child Gertrude? So, what are the chances of finding someone who's in the market for a four-year-old boy

outside of a speedy bar at 1 a.m.? You never know unless you try. You'd have a better shot using Tradeo to try to sell a four-year-old boy. Hey, it's Tradio. Oh, hey, anybody need a four-year-old? Sir, sir, it's not poultry, is it? Oh, sorry, that's too deep. No chickens, yeah.

No chickens. So in the article it says he was selling the boy for $2,500, apparently for drug money. Yeah. But they don't know that that's true. He might have been wanting to chip in towards his Roth IRA or maybe get a gas. insert for the fireplace. We don't know what he was going to use that money for. Yeah. And I mean, he didn't even put a price on it either. He was just like, hey, you want to buy this kid? Oh, it's that? It said $2,500. Oh, was it $2,500? I did not see that. I don't know what four-year-olds

normally go for, but it sounds like a bargain. Yeah, that's less than a thousand dollars a year. A white kid, $2,500? Not bad. Jeans are bad, though. That guy's teeth were probably a mess. So it was his girlfriend's son from a previous relationship. Correct. Which, by the way, kids from previous relationships can really fuck up a relationship. It is a good idea to get rid of them. This is a perfect example. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, right. These are the kind of problems they cause. The good news for Mr. Day. The DUI count has been dropped as part of his plea deal. He's going to jail. Well, yeah, he admitted to human trafficking. Yeah. Which, I'm not an attorney, but I would just plead not guilty to that and see what happens.

You fucking idiot. So, Carl. Yeah. We talked about politicians earlier today. Yep. Now, we also talked about a politician a couple of weeks ago. That was pretty entertaining. The guy who set up his campaign booth on the site of George Floyd's murder.

Yeah, the Republican. He did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The black Republican guy. So we are going to meet another candidate for local politics. A woman running for mayor in Sumter, South Carolina, now faces criminal charges after police say she staged her own kidnapping and beating to get publicity and the sympathy votes in the November election. Sabrina Belcher, 29, carried out the stunt on Facebook.

live, our favorite thing in the world, right, Carl? It's the best. Don't she fucking love Facebook Live? It's the best. Police say with help from 34-year-old Christopher 80, around 11.30 p.m. Tuesday, Belcher reported to police that she was assaulted and kidnapped by a man she didn't know who tried to rob her. She said she was injured and the man broke out her car windows during the attack. Cruz took Belcher to the hospital to be treated and she was later released.

Later investigators discovered she was in contact with her alleged attacker. Apparently they planned it days in advance and police say she admitted to faking the crime. Would you like to hear the audio from the Facebook live video? Oh, you have it? I do. Oh, let's hear it. This is her faking being kidnapped. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Please, I get killed. Gives! Drive! I get killed! Fri! Sorry, it's taking so long. Stop this motherfucker right hill, right now, bitch. Stop it. Tell you about the fucking one. Motherfucking people.

Bits? Huh? The fucking one? Now he's breaking out the car windows. So, all fake. This is the problem is that the struggle was so fake. People are saying Robert De Niro and the Irishman was more believable. They are.

And that's what Justi Smallet. This is the decision that he made that was so smart. You don't release video of this. And he's a professional actor. And he knew he couldn't bone off. It's like, you need Michael Bay to pull off shit like that. If you're going to make it look realistic, no one's buying it. At one point in this video, folks, he is supposedly hitting her in the stomach with a bat.

And you can see that his hand is between the bat and her stomach. Like, I'm telling you, freaking, there's been better batting. hits on pro wrestling that there are I actually I actually pulled a clip from later on in that same video Oh really? Yeah this is this is audio from that video where you can hear

how it just does not sound realistic at all Like it was a real fight Come there you're just my side Oh Oh Oh Oh Yeah

Yeah I mean, that's so I can hate you. I mean, that just sounds ridiculous. There's a fully work being done. I think yakety sacks should have been played in the bag on. Yeah. So the whole situation there is just fake. So she's being accused of trying to smear a political appointment during a fake Facebook live attack

and planning to smear other candidates in the election. This was simply an effort to create disorder and discontent in our community for personal gain. By the way, I read that statement and I was like, wait, is this about Andrew Cuomo all of a sudden? What just happened? Oh, Carl's got a hot take. You've got a hot take about Cuomo. Remind me to tell you about Tim Dillon and Cuomo shutting down his show. We can talk all about that.

You know, I'm not too happy about that situation. Yeah, I know. Stand-up comedy is not allowed to be performed. in the state of New York. Not even outdoors. Nope. You cannot tell a joke to people. Nope. If you have a liquor license, they're coming to take it if you do. Yep. It's pretty nuts right now. Yep. Belcher is charged

a conspiracy and filing a false police report which is a felony. Eddie is charged with conspiracy. They were both arrested Wednesday and booked in the Sunter County. Jail. I don't think she's going to win. No, I don't think so either. I think Eric Massa has a better chance of winning that election.

Yeah, I was a Navy man, you know. Amber Nicole Van Adder, 20 from Indiana, is facing multiple felony charges after she allegedly admitted to harming an infant. This is a fucked up story. The infant had been left with her and her care. Police say reportedly she had been visiting with the child's mother who left her daughter in Van Atta's care when she went to work. Van Adder drove the injured baby.

Well, the mom went to work about 3 o'clock on Friday. And at 9.30 p.m., Van Adder drove the injured baby about a year old to her mother's workplace and gave the child to her mother, according to the police. She thought it was take your abused daughter to work day. Yeah. During those six and a half hours, though, the baby's face was held against the belt of a treadmill. Yeah. The old Indian burn.

The old Indian burn. And her arms and neck were also burned with a cigarette lighter. The old trailer park burned. Yeah, all right. The baby was later taken to the IU Health Memorial Center where she reportedly received treatment in the emergency department. Van Etter was arrested and booked into Delaware County Jail. she was charged with neglect of a dependent battery resulted in serious bodily injury to a person less than 14 and battery of a person less than 14 when asked by police why she did it she said she was depressed and the baby was crying i don't think she thought this one through if you don't like a baby crying you don't torture the baby it doesn't stop the crying it's called whiskey grab the whiskey not the cigarette lighter i'll go carl nose i'll go carl knows right now listen here's the other thing about that

If you don't want to hear a baby crying, don't fucking babysit, asshole. Yeah, or get noise cancellation headphones like the rest of us. Yeah, just neglect the kid, leave. Right. It's better than what you did. It's slightly better than what you did. Slightly, yes. Put the baby, tie it up, put it in a crib and leave.

Can you read the headline of that article? I don't have it up. I'm reading off of the script here. Oh, okay. It's so funny because I was very confused by it. It said something like she was burned by a treadmill and a lighter. That's like, well, I get the lighter part, you're burned burned by a treadmill. Well, that is this week's scum parade, Carl.

And it was a very scummy scum parade, Vinny. Well done. Are you ready to get this shit, make this shit real? Okay. So because people are cheaters, now we have to do this the old-fashioned way. Best two out of three, rock paper, scissors. We're going to count to three and then shoot it out towards the camera, right? So, yeah, it's one, two, three, shoot. Okay. Okay. Ready?

Ready. One, two, three, shoot. I can't see your hand. I had scissors, so you got me. Oh, yes, that's a good start. Okay, you ready? I'll use the other hand. All right, I'll use the other hand.

Okay, that's a tie. One, two, three, shoot. Yeah, rock, baby! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We did a really poor job of explaining that the people who are listening. Now that we have a video component that kind of fucks me up a little bit, I'm not doing a good job of explaining. Okay. So what's happening now is when he's turning on the light in his studio, he's going to switch to a different camera angle so that we can all see the wheel.

I'm going to. But before we do, let's talk about what's on the wheel. All right, yep. All right. So the semenology book. Yes. Someone has to purchase the $100 autograph version of the seamenology book. And then make every recipe and drink it.

Yep. No, no, no, no, no, no. Then they have to go somewhere in public and read it. Oh, right. That's right. Okay, good. Crox in public. Okay, we're crox in public.

Stuttering John book report, where you have to buy, read, and write a book report on Stuttering John. And then we're going to get a elementary teacher to grade it. That's correct. Which will be fun. Seven second porn challenge, which is take your phone in public and blast porn on it as loud as possible for seven seconds. Yep.

Yep, that'll be fun. That's fun. A trip to Tom Myers Restaurant in Maryland. That's a rough one, although I do like Mexican food. Drive to Gary, Indiana. That's still on there.

Jesus Christ. Do it a version, your own cover version of Nick Bates' songs. Yes. That's a fun one. I think that would be a lot of fun. Wear and use an adult diaper. Number one,

not number two. I can't believe I fucking lost. I had Colin Winslow Jr. You know he was fucking creepier too, you asshole. I do know that. No, he was creepier. I do know that for a fact.

He tried to rape an 86-year-old woman, which is unbelievable. Oh, God damn. I don't want this one. Dinner with a listener. I love it. Ugh. We'll figure out what that is. Performed Seamus' stand-up in an open mic.

Yes, that one's a fun one. Perform, Vicks stand-up in an open mic. Yeah, and now you have more to choose from. There's more videos of Vic now. Gross. Yep. Cleaning her George Washington teeth. 12-hour podcast stream.

Which is, you have to listen to 12. hours of opi stuttering john and live stream where you sit there and watch it who's gonna who's gonna even know that you did that no one's gonna tune in we're gonna well people will keep us accountable i hope not uh mayo bobbing for apples that's a weird one that one came in from our subreditor right yeah it's certainly did uh and then back to nick bake cover songs so those are the options now i'm going to switch over here you're not going to be able to see carl you're only going to be able to see me just believe that i'm still here oh this looks great too this is what i'm talking about video Vinny's going above and beyond with the production of this show.

He's got a handheld mic. He's standing there next to the wheel. We're going to spin it. Now remember, the new rule is if it lands on something in Vinny says absolutely not, he can refuse it, but then I get to pick any other consequence that's on the wheel. You know, I don't deserve to be spinning this fucking wheel either, right? Oh, shut the fuck up. You just admitted my guy was creepier.

Your guy was creepier, but how many times have you gotten cheated for throughout this competition? How many times have you been cheated for for this competition? A lot. All right. Oh, Betty. Just accept your punishment. Here we go. Try to maintain a little bit of dignity here while you do this.

All right. And around and around, the wheel spins. Any shout out you want to make for anybody back home while the wheel spinning? I'd like to dedicate this to Carl's whore of a mother. And it lands on 12-hour live stream. that is your punishment Vinny what do you think

terrible what do you think man you got so you got to listen to opi and stuttering job for 12 hours straight while live streaming your reaction to it yeah all right I love it or I could cancel that and then you can make me drive

to fucking Gary and Vienna yeah no I'll do the podcast stream I'll do the podcast Vinnie's accepting his consequence 12 hours bell to bell baby all right mother my goodness okay so folks

we got to schedule the podcast if people want to want to submit the terrible podcast that I have to listen to. Oh, God. Anything that Suttering John has done in the last month where it's just nonstop crazy political talk with lunatics. I'm going to come into the studio. I'm going to sit at my desk in there and I'm going to eat.

I'm going to have fast food delivered. Well, all right. It's not all bad. All right. Watch Vinny eat himself to death while listening to Stuttering John. That should be a lot of fun. Wow. Vinny.

What an episode today, huh? We did not disappoint. Fuck you, Carl. let's not forget to go ahead we have a new round starting we have reset the scoreboard we're zero zero going into this next round and so please go to our twitter at creepoff pod you're going to see an opportunity to vote for who you think brought the better creep this week and had the better argument and we'll declare who the winner is next week on the creep off and also next week our theme is republicans creepiest republican i got to tell you The hardest thing about this theme is picking which one. Because we could probably bring this theme back a few times, is what I'm saying. I can't believe I had to fucking spin the wheel. And I'm sitting here thinking about 12 hours.

And a long 12 fucking hours. And by the way, did you see, because I didn't do a good job of explaining this, but did you see what my strategy was for rock fever scissors? I threw rock every time. I just kept throwing a rock. I knew you'd walk right into that. I hate you. I love it.

The people are watching live on YouTube are commenting. All is right in the world. We all win. Fuck you guys. I hope you all join me. I will do this in the next week or two. We'll come up with the time and I'll do it live on the YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We definitely got to pick a time and maybe I'll pop in. Oh, you're going to come to be a guest? Yeah, just like for a few minutes here and there just to make sure that you're doing it. Maybe I'll do like a 12-hour super show. We'll get Croj. No, no, you can't make this fun. You can't make it fun on me now. I'm just going to have to sit there and wear a sad birthday hat.

Dude, you know what you should do, though. You should take callers. Okay. You should take callers throughout so people can just call in and chat with you as you're listening to Suttering John. Yeah, I'll keep the Discord and stuff open. That'd be fun. So, folks, that's this week's creep off. Vote on Twitter this week.

And also do his favor. Please rate and review. You don't have to say nice things, but you do have to give us five stars. We'd appreciate that. No, we're just steal that from. I thought I originally came up with it for your show. Okay. There might be an episode where I proved that.

Sure it is. So here's the deal, people. We're out of here. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good gear. Fucking asshole. Fucking bullshit.

Nobody likes you anyway, Carl. It's the creep. Now they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yeah, I did. Not yet, I groped him. I tickled him until he couldn't breathe. And then four guys jumped on top of me. It's my 50th birthday.