The Creep Off - #26 He didn't lose all hope

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

This week in honor of the RNC we seek to discover the creepiest member of the Grand ol’ party! In the scum parade we meet a rookie wife murderer, two fat bored idiots & and a real life Mother F’er. Don’t forget to vote on twitter @creepoffpod

I really don't like that it's a sweatbox in here, buddy. I'd rather broadcast her outside. What, you want to go play outside today? Yeah, I do. It's really nice out. I won't allow it. Fair enough. All right. Let's start the show.

Let's do it. It's the creep-off. It's the creep-off. Ola creepos, welcome to another edition of the show that 2020 deserves. This is my co-host, hot cuck-cacarla. What is happening in Vinnie Paulino? Well, this is our very first episode with our new vote. system yes which was basically just vote on fucking Twitter yeah how did that work

out really great actually okay oh shit I don't like the sound of that really great let's see Viniya's 55% of the vote really wins oh yeah buddy superk oh retort alert retort alert class all right I deserve that. So we had fewer votes than usual, so we're assuming that this wasn't a bot farm attack that Well, we actually got some emails from people who were like, I refuse to have a Twitter account. Like our buddy Cam emailed me. And I really appreciated you email me, Cam, because he specifically said, I refused to vote, but I would have voted for Carl.

So, fuck. Good job, Cam. Appreciate it. God damn it. So, yeah, I guess the creepiest Democrat was tickle fighting. our former congressman, Eric Massa. Yeah. That's a pretty good one.

It was a good one. I give it too. So what does that mean? You're up one nothing now? I'm up one nothing. Are we still going to show the score on our website? We are. We are.

It hasn't been compromised. No, the score has not been compromised. So this week, our theme is very simple. It is creepiest Republican. That's right. In celebration of the Republican National Convention that just took place this past week. What a lovely time it was for everybody involved, eh? You thought the fireworks were over.

They're just starting. We got a battle today for you. You have to figure out who is the creepiest Republican. Vinny's going to make his argument, and then I will make my argument. Then you can vote on our Twitter at Creepoff Pod. That's the contest, baby. So, I am ready to begin.

Would you ring that bell forming? Oh, right. I ring the bell. Let's get this round started. Today, my nomination for Creepiest Republican is a gentleman by the name of good old Dennis Hastert. His friends call him Denny. You know Denny Hassert, Carl? That sounds familiar. I don't know the story, I don't think. Well, let me tell you a little bit about the man.

Just a brief history. He had his master's in science from Northern Illinois University in 1967. During that time, he joined the faculty at Yorkville High School, working as a teacher and as a wrestling and football coach. He won a national championship in wrestling in 1976. He was a Republican who ended up being elected to Congress in 1987. So he's a wrestling coach. This could be another tickle fight guy. Are you only bringing tickle fight guys to the show now? Not quite. Okay. Well, he served in Congress from 1987 to 2007. And during that time, he went from simple congressman to longest termed GOP Speaker of the House ever. Okay. He was the Speaker of the House from 1999 to 2007.

Now I feel embarrassed that I didn't know. Yeah, you're a dumb dumb. He popularized the term and the new rule of the time, the majority of the majority, commonly called the Hesert rule, which only allowed a floor vote on a bill if the majority within the majority party approved it. So talk about a piece of shit fucking gridlocking Congress.

Already fuck you, Dennis Hasser, and I haven't gotten to what you really did wrong. Wait, why would that gridlock Congress? The majority of the majority has to vote for something. before they could before the house can vote on it so the party has to agree on it before anything else oh i see so you wouldn't even vote on anything that the minority had introduced correct got correct it's basically a really shitty rule yeah the right loved him he was w's boy uh in 2006 though he ran into a little bit of a problem because he faced criticism for his handling of a uh a terrible

scandal that involved congressman from florida mark foley mark foley resigned after it was revealed that he had sent sexually graphic messages to teenage pages. Now, you know about Mark Foley, right? For those of you don't know, here is a clip of one of the transcripts of Mark Foley talking to a 16-year-old page as read by Carl's friend Anthony Coomia and little Jimmy Norton. 8.03 and 47 seconds p.m. I ask, what are you wearing? That's the first thing. That's it. What are you wearing? Normal clothes?

T-shirts and shorts? love to slip them off you in your shorts and polo shirt no athletic shorts and t-shirt had soccer nice jockstrap too not in soccer jimmy likes to emphasize l-o-ll so when somebody writes l-o-l what you wear then just are boxers and shorts good Shows your package then? Yeah. Slow things down a little. I'm still young.

Like under 18. Don't want to do anything illegal. I'm not 18 till Feb 23. I know. Nothing will happen just dreaming. You're horny, though. Well, yeah, a bit. But I'm still a virgin.

You're in your boxers, too? Nope. Just got home. We'll strip down and get relaxed. Now, how does he... And see... Okay. So, this was happening under Dennis Hasser's watch as Speaker of the House.

But why did you pick Mark Foley? That's the creep. What's going on here? Because Dennis Hassert could have stopped all this and he did nothing. He was warned multiple times. This is like the Joe Paterno argument. Oh, we're not done, Carl. Just sit right back and you're going to hear a tail.

All right, I was it. Okay. Now, for those of you who don't know what the page program is, just on a side note, I almost did pick Mark Foley. I was very close because the page program is the craziest fucky thing I have ever heard about. Do you know about what this is, Carl? I am familiar.

Okay. So in Congress, two young kids, teenagers from each state are made congressional pages, which means they live in the Capitol, they are away from home, and their only job is to do whatever Congress people tell them to do.

So if you don't think that's a recipe for fucking disaster, we learned about this, with Mark Foley. They're like, this ultra-boy program is too dangerous. Let's, let's have our son be a page instead. The altar boy, yeah, exactly. The altar boys at least got to go fucking home. Yeah, right. These kids are just fucking getting texts from creepy congressmen. So, long story short, he ignored repeated warnings about Foley. And a lot of people blame the Foley situation as to why the Republicans lost the majority in Congress. And a year later, Denny resigned. Now, in itself, you know, there's definitely some negligence there. The guy was a

teacher, you should be out there protecting kids. Well, the fact of the matter is, he looked at that Mark Foley situation and went like, that's nothing, hold my beer. Because a few years later, after he retired, eight years later, to be exact, all of a sudden, the FBI was investigating Denny Hasser. Why, Carl? Why, Vinnie? Here's why.

Denny Haster, the retired Illinois congressman was the longest serving GOP speaker of the House. Today, he's the subject of a two-count indictment that shocked the political world on Thursday. The first count alleges he structured bank withdrawals to avoid bank tripwires required to report large cash withdraws. The indictment says that Hasterd was incrementally paying $3.5 million to an unknown individual for, quote, past misconduct. Hastert is also charged with lying to FBI agents when asked about why he withdrew that money. This is a slow burn. I understand, guys. We've already mentioned one pedophile and you still think this is a slow burn.

This is called the creep on. It's about being creepy, not corrupt. Well, what was he pulling out this money for, and why was he trying to keep it a secret? Let's find out. So, like, under $10,000, you don't have to, nothing gets reported to the FBI. Over $10,000, it does. So he was pulling out this much money. Guess what?

The FBI still investigate you. And then he lied. And some things started to come out. Wait a second. There's a politician who's corrupt and lying? I can't believe this is true. And it started becoming public as to why he was. paying this $3.5 million.

It turns out that Denny Hasser was a serial pedophile, Carl. The longest-termed GOP speaker of the house was a serial pedophile. Okay, I think you could say he's a serial child rapist, but a pedophile is just a pedophile. Okay. You can't be a serial pedophile. I'm a serial heterosexual. All right. It's crazy.

All my life. Here's just some information about what started coming out, okay? Yep. Victim Scott Cross, who is now 53, tearfully recalled a light. lifelong trauma from being abused by his coach at the age of 17. It was my darkest secret, he said. I was devastated. Again, 17 legal in New York State. Okay. Just throwing it up there. Well, here's another story. This young man was the equipment manager for the wrestling team who worked for Denny Hassard was with Dennis Hassard for four years. This is how Dennis Hassard

signed his yearbook. Tonight, one of Hassard's alleged victims identified. This young man, Steve Reinbold, the student manager for Hassard's high school wrestling team, who Hassard called, in this 1970 yearbook inscription, his great right-hand man. Oh, nothing? Okay. Well, it turns out that Reinhold was gay. He was a homosexual. Yeah. And he came out to his sister, and he told her this. My old sister, Jolene, says her late brother revealed what she called the dark secret of abuse when he told her he was gay. I asked him, Stevie, when was your first, same-sex experience.

I mean, he just looked at me and said, it was with Dennis Astard. And I just, I know I was stunned. I said, why didn't you ever tell anybody? Stevie, I mean, he was your teacher. Why didn't you ever tell anybody? And he just looked at me and said,

who is ever going to believe me? Many quick comment. Yeah. Do you know many gay guys lose their virginity to their wrestling coach? All of them. Every gay guy went to high school. went, lost his virginity to our wrestling

coach. Even the ones in the Glee Club? Especially the ones in the Glee Club. I'm not even in wrestling. What are we doing? All right. Well, I'll tell you one thing that's really ballsy. Here's a creepy thing that happened. When Reinbolt died of AIDS in 1995, and a certain person decided to go to the funeral.

Well, they were, he was his right-hand man. Yeah, they were buds. He died of AIDS in 1995. His sister says she confronted then Congressman Hassard when he showed up unexpectedly at the funeral home. He just stood there and stared at me, and then I just continued to say, I want you to know that your secret didn't die in there with my brother. Uh-oh.

And I want you to remember that I'm out here and that I know. Uh, bitch is always got to be making a scene. Oh, yeah. Your brother just died. Leave it alone. She's fucking making a scene at the way. Come on. So she says that there was a lot of opportunity for them to be alone together.

and they basically kind of had a relationship for four years of this kid's high school. Yeah. So we're talking 14 to 18. They were like, uh, they were like serial dating. That's how that works, but it actually sounds like a nice, cute relationship that they had. Well, here's the thing. More as this trial goes on. Yeah.

Uh, more people started having recollections as to, well, what we talk? What trial? He's on trial for this, pulling this money out and lying to the FBI. Oh, shit. I'm so lost. This story is so convoluted. Okay. So he's indicted for this.

And he claims that he's being blackmailed as to why he did this. So that's his defense because the statute of limitations was done at the time of him being accused of all this stuff. So the sister is a millionaire? Is that what you're telling me? The sister isn't the one who blackmailed. Oh, okay. Okay. But we'll get to that more in a second.

So during this whole trial, all these people are coming out and saying, yes, he was a pedophile. And a certain detail about Dennis Hassert's conduct. as the coach of the wrestling team came out from a very unlikely source. Comedian Andy Richter, who attended the Illinois school where former U.S. House Speaker Dennis Hastert coached wrestling decades ago, said a detail in court documents about the politician's alleged sexual abuse of at least four male students jogged a memory for him. Richter said for the first time in 30 years, he thought about the lazy boy type chair where prosecutors said Hastert would sit and watch as boys showered in the locker room.

he had a lazy boy in the fucking boys shower carl by the way not often do you have like cloth recliners in a shower no not a great chair for that and this fucking if you saw what dennis hasser looked like people he looked like you ever see a sausage that goes bad and they start getting lumpy yeah he has the literally he looks like he's got a white old man wig on and just a sausage face he's just a sausage face he's He is disgusting. Same Hugh is a hot dog and everything. So Andy Richter says, yeah, it's true. He had a shower recliner. So that's creepy. Well, things happen in court, and his defense was that he was being blackmailed. So he admitted that he did this.

Withered and wheelchair bound, former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert came to federal court for a public shaming he brought on himself. In the courtroom, Hastert finally admitted he had molested boys on the Yorkville High School wrestling team he coached decades ago. What I did was wrong, he said, and I regret it. Judge Thomas Durkin suggested that was not enough. You don't say. Yeah. So he goes to court and he admits it, and he says his defense is that he was being blackmailed. Here's what the judge thought of that.

Hastert lied again when he said individual A was blackmailing him. A claim the judge called an unconscionable attempt to victimize a victim one more time. Yeah, so he made an agreement, he had like a hush deal, and it wasn't blackmail. He made a full agreement with this guy, and then he decided to characterize it as a blackmail to defend himself lying to the FBI. No, not really. That's why you're such a good politician. No. That's a good move right there.

No, it's not. It's not. When you're trying to get away with things that you did that were wrong and will get you in trouble, you lie and cheat. That's what you do. This guy seems like he was pretty good at it. All right. Well, he was in the long run. This is what ended up happening.

Nothing is more stunning than having serial child molester and speaker of the house in the same sentence, the judge said. And then he gave him three times what the prosecutors recommended for the crime. He ended up spending 15 months in prison. Time out. All right. Maybe I'm not following this story because you're very boring. But let me ask this. was there more than one child that he had sex?

Four. There were four children. Yes. And they were all... That we know about. And what ages were they? All young teens. They're all in high school, right?

Yeah. All right. Yep. So we don't know. Good for him, man. He was getting some young ass. Don't we all want a little young ass? 15 months.

He spent in prison for banking fraud. Banking fraud is what brought this creep down. He would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids. Now, uh, we don't know exactly. what he did to these boys, Carl. But I did find this clip that gives me kind of a clue as to what he was up to.

This is him being interviewed for his book that came out in 2004, Speaker. Denny Hasterd, author of Speaker. What's the Granby Roll? Grandby Roll is a move in wrestling that you can score from the bottom. That's what Mr. Denny Hasser was up to,

molesting children during his job. Then he ran for Congress. it became third in line to the presidency. Yep. That's it. That's a creep, baby. I got a new nickname for you. Yeah.

Tickle Fight Vinny. All right, people. If you want to go for Tickle-Coo. If you want to go for Tickle-Fite, Vinny, go for it. But I brought a real creep this week. No, did he molest any kids? I brought a creep that didn't have tickle fights in wrestling class. A guy who's an actual creep.

His name is Larry Craig. He's a senator from Idaho. And he's well known now as wide stance. Larry Craig. And I think you know this story, Vinny. Oh, I do. I also know that my story is way creepier. Larry Craig is a gay man who denies it.

He was in a bathroom stall in a Minnesota airport when... I will say that there is something very creepy. Can I just, I will agree with you. There is something very creepy about the closeted gay men who are adamantly in denial. With wives and

families and Republicans who are voting on legislation. that doesn't help out. Well, there's plenty of gay Republicans. They used to have, they call him the log cabin Republicans. Correct. And actually, Patrick Sam and president of the log cabin Republicans, issued a statement condemning the senator's actions.

So even the log cabin Republicans are not with this guy. Okay. So basically what he did was he was trying to get sex from a dude in a bathroom stall in an airport. And the dude happened to be an undercover cop. So he was busted for that. What fucking airport has to have an undercover cop? I know.

It's insane. In the bathroom. There's so much hanky-panky. going on. They're like, we gotta shut this down. Like, if you told me a TSA guy went in there to take a leak and he was just like at work and he was like, what the fuck is this guy doing? And he called security.

But he was an undercover cop. This is the whole operation that you had a cop in the stall. And then you had another officer outside of the bathroom who could then pick up the purpose he was leaving. Like this was like to catch a predator style setup going on. It was crazy. What did they have like a signal to each other?

I don't know. Like the cop inside. He's like, he's on the walkie going, All right, I'm stroking his cock. Be ready to grab it when he comes out. He's going to finish it. Oh, don't isolate that. He's going to finish in three, two. Let's see that dick.

Swarm. Swarm. If you edit that out and post, I'll be so pissed off, by the way. I still love you. All right. So here's a quick recap from Air America when this happened back in 2007. And this will give you a quick update on what we're talking about. This is the senator we told you about yesterday from Idaho, Republican,

conservative family values Larry Craig's fought against every piece of gay rights legislation he's ever seen in Idaho and the United States Senate caught playing footsies with undercover cop in an airport in Minnesota apparently this is how it goes tap tap the other guy goes tap tap and then he reaches over for the footsie and then he reaches underneath the stall with his hand and before that this is interesting as well He apparently peered into the stall for two minutes, according to the undercover officer. Two minutes? This is what's weird about this, Benny.

One of the chances that, A, the guy is gay that you're trying to hook up with in the bathroom, and B, that he's attracted to you. You're an old creepy man. Like, what are the chances of this actually working out? This guy's staring in the little seam where they can see the person shitting for two minutes. Finding the person next to them gets out of their stall, so he goes in, starts tapping his foot on the ground. This is, all of America learned about this behavior. No, no one even knew about this until this came out.

That's really. Apparently, this is the thing. There's code. There's code that gay men do. But wait a second. Fuck people in the bathroom. It's like, so you're saying that they tap feet under the stall and then the other guy is like, rubs his foot against the other foot and then the hand comes under?

Yes. Like, how are they going to fuck between the stalls? Like, what do they do? Well, the other thing that they do is, and this is code also, you take your luggage and you press it up against the stall door in front of you. And that's also to block so that people can't peer in and see what's going on. So I assume that once you've made these hand gestures and you both agree, because you do play a little footsie and stuff,

I assume that once that happens, that then one of you goes into the other stall and you get it on, which is a very sexy place to have gay sex, by the way. Airport bathrooms. Airport bathrooms. Yeah, nothing, the wonder they all smell so bad. So two people in a stall fucking. It's not just weird.

That's not conspicuous. so what's funny is this guy puts his hand underneath the stall to gesture like hey come over here and the undercover takes his badge and puts it underneath the stall to larry crag all right so larry leaves and uh is questioned by police i'm a senator oh you he pulled that card right away oh god yeah this is the actual interview we had with police officers right after this incident went down there's been a big misunderstanding here yeah we did that whole thing for young man of it we didn't I knew you were eavesdropping. That's why my friend said all that was on purpose. We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, of course not. I mean, it's fine if that's who you are. Absolutely. I mean, I have many gay friends. My father's gay. So he insists that he's not gay, but he pleads guilty because he wants it to go away without anyone finding out. Mm-hmm. So he pays the fine, pleads guilty. The Idaho statesman finds out about it, publishes all of this. Well, because it's a public record. When you plead guilty, it's not like you're going to hide it.

Right. That was the dumbest thing he could have done. He didn't tell anyone. He didn't tell him his friends or family, just pretending. Just hoping it would go away. Well, really, in that particular case, what is the smart move? Because you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. So maybe don't try to fuck strangers in bathrooms?

You plead not guilty. The smart move is you say, I don't know what this asshole is talking about. I was not trying to fuck anybody in a bathroom. And you plead not guilty. Instead, he made the mistake a pleaded guilty. Makes it seem like maybe he's guilty. Well, what I'm saying is, if he says I'm not guilty, it's all going to make the papers. Well, it's going to do it either way.

So he had to have a press conference. And, of course, at the press conference, he declares this. Let me be clear. I am not gay. I never have been gay. Said the gay man. I've never have been gay. That's how you know that somebody's lying.

Listen, it's not that I'm only gay on weekends. I'm never gay. I swear to you. I hate flowers. I hate gourmet food. At the beginning of this press conference, Vinnie, he actually thanks the press for doing something that he's not able to do. Thank you all very much for coming out today.

All right, that was just a little bit of fun. I will not be. So he ended up changing his plea because he didn't want to be found out that he was gay. So he changes his plea and holds up the court system. They have to go back and forth. eventually he is convicted of this crime of trying to solicit sex in the bathroom

when it's all said and done $213,000 in legal fees and public relation fees were used from campaign funds now this is really the problem here right because if you're going to try to have sex with some dude in the bathroom you don't want it to cost taxpayers a quarter of a million dollars

it's not taxpayers at that point from the campaign fees it's coming from fucking marks. Donors. Yeah. That's a good point, Vinny. You're right. So in 2012, in 2012,

there was an FEC lawsuit regarding these campaign funds. In March of 2013, the court found the defense unqualified. He appealed the ruling and finally in 2016, the court of appeals upheld the ruling and ordered Craig to pay $242,000

of the U.S. Treasury. In December of 2007, after the story came out that he was trying to get it on with this undercover cop. He's like, you could have your money, but I hide it in my butt. Eight gay men came forward to the Idaho State's newspaper, alleging either sexual encounters with Craig or attempts by Craig to engage in sexual encounters. Four of the men gave the newspaper graphic recorded details of their alleged sexual encounters.

So this is a gay man. This is a gay man. The Republicans wanted him to resign after this happened. He refused. He stayed in the Senate and then didn't run for re-election. And now he's a lobbyist who still. who's still out in Washington, probably fucking other men in, uh, restrooms. You're kidding me.

I kid you not. He's still going strong. So, still out there. Okay. And, um, of course, if you remember this time, this was all the rage. This was the biggest scandal. Everyone was talking about it. And all the, uh, morning zoo shows had all of their song parodies.

This is, uh, a song that comes from, um, What's the guy's name? Robert Lund from the CD, Paua ticked off. Get it? This guy's Pala ticked off. Save it from Politopod. All right, here we go.

Concourse P, Concourse, C, Concourse, S&M. I like the airport men's room because they frequently have men. One guy sat beside me and tapped my one-inch wall. We made a tight connection in that tight airport stall. Weeks go by, and there's my bathroom boyfriend on C-SPAN. Ironic, he's Republican, that ends with publican. I flush to score.

My hot spot is a cold-time floor. My men's room dates a senator. Men's room dates a senator. My job's hardcore. His policy is open door. My men's room dates a senator. My menroom dates a senator by Robert Lund. Last thing I want to point out, this bathroom became famous.

People were actually seeking it out because they wanted to see where this incident occurred. It has been demolished. They had to destroy the bathroom because it was such a distraction in the airport. This guy has caused so much damage involved. I'm just trying to get his dick sucked. It's really unbelievable when you think about it. Yeah, let me ask this question. When he was in the bathroom, did he pull up a lazy boy to the showers?

You always do this. You always want to bring it back to your... Well, I'm just saying my guy sat there. He might as well popped fucking popcorn and just enjoyed a show every day. Larry Craig, wide stance Larry Craig. Oh, that was his excuse on why he tapped the guy's foot.

I'm sorry. I skipped right past that. When they asked him, why were you playing footsie? He's like, oh, when I sit down to shit, I have a very wide stance. So he became known as wide stance, Larry Craig. I forgot to mention also a fact in my story. Person A, the one who was actually had the settlement with Denny Hasser, was a 14 years old at the time of having sex with the human vienna sausage so you need to strike that from the record it does not count viny your time was up you have you cannot make more arguments after you're done with your argument i don't want anyone to consider that information when voting at creep off pod so i just want to make sure i understand this larry craig why it stands larry is the creepiest because he was a closeted gay man who sought out sex with other closeted gay men correct now that

all right as opposed to a man who was third in line to the presidency fucking children during his professional career before Congress he was a wrestling coach

what did you think that story was going to be who didn't think he was fucking children is anyone that passionate about wrestling I'm not talking about the type of wrestling

that you're passionate about Vinny I'm talking about have you seen my t-shirt collection car you're very passionate about wrestling actually I have some questions for you too after this

think about it do we got any voicemails Are there any notes coming through? We only got one this week. I'm a little depressed about it. Okay. And last week, those of you who watched live on YouTube heard a call from Prep Boy, Rick, that I totally cut out of the final version of the show.

Why was that? Because it was terrible and it was stupid, and we yelled at him and admonished him. Okay. But he called in this week to apologize to us, which I think was probably the right move. Good. Hey, Carl. Hey, Vinnie. I just wanted to say that I fully understand banning me from calling into the show.

Don't have a problem with it. Clearly he doesn't. What you guys are going to do. That's okay. Block him on all social media was a little bit weird. IP banning me from the website was also a little bit weird, but that's what you're going to do. That's what you guys going to do.

You got a tight ship to run. I don't have a problem with that. Insert a accidental pro wrestling reference right here that makes Vinny want to kill me. That's all I really got. I'm still going to listen to the show because you guys are fun and funny. And I really appreciate it what you guys do. So take care. Love, Concerally.

prep boy Rick PBR Thanks buddy Thanks PBR Sorry IP blocked you I'm gonna tell you man Good job You kept that under 45 seconds

Thank you That was our one call I have a call that came in too Okay Later on the play for you So We did two bears One cave

Who are these podcasts Recently That's Tom Segura And Bert Kreischer If I recall you asked me to do that show I wasn't going to say that But you did Yeah and I said no thank you

I'm in conversations with other comedians who are going to be coming on the WATP soon and they do all say the same thing can we please not review a comedians podcast so I understand I get it now what's interesting though is that there's some jagoff in the control room

who's laughing hysterically at everything Berk Kreischer says Burkrester's chewing peanut butter and the guy's laughing hysterically I didn't realize that you had a connection to this person maybe you did Hey Carl just wanted to let you know that that producer guy that keeps laughing in the background

on a two bears, one cave, it's Josh Potter. Oh, Jesus. So I'm sure if any'll get a kick out of that. Call me back, I guess. Did you know that? I didn't know that was a Buffalo guy. Yeah. Your buddy, Josh Potter.

Can't use the term buddy. Wow. Can't use the term buddy. That guy is ruining the show on his own by laughing at everything birds out. He was a stunt boy for a radio show in Buffalo, shredding Reagan for forever. It makes sense that he's a, a stunt boy because it was

obviously all hammed up and fake and not real in any single way. Yeah, well, all right, there you go. I thought you'd enjoy that. Too bad we didn't do that show together. It would have been fun for you. If I had known it was him, I might have. Yeah, I know. He hates my guts, that kid. Yeah, well. Also, you probably call him out

for being a no-tam loser. I would imagine. Ah, it's for me to know. Okay. All right, is that me? We're heading into the scum parade. Fuck yeah, Carl. Alright, let's do it. You said it was a lazy boy requiter in the head in the showers?

Yes. All right. Where are we going? Did he put his feet up? Where are we going this week? On a bowl of popcorn to cover his boner. O'Brien, you missed the spot. You know, people aren't going to be cheating for me.

Hey, you, Reynolds, go help O'Brien. You missed a spot. Oh, man. From the comfort of his lazy boy. All right. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to start at the scum parade down in Latana, Florida, where Haley Zager, 30 years old, was arrested Saturday night after an incident on the go track card at a place that Carl and I would feel right at home, a place called boomers. Yeah. According to an arrest report, Zager told police she was stopped at the end of the track when 11-year-old rear-ended her at full speed, which is what you do in fucking bumper cars. Am I wrong, Carl?

This is not bumper cars. This is a go-car truck. Oh, well, I probably would have gotten a lot of trouble at this place. Yeah, right. I mean, every time we tell you, you're doing this wrong. Bumper carts, I know how this game goes. Zager said the boy would not apologize, so she, quote, tapped him on the face. Well, witnesses disagree. They said she slapped the black child and called him a racial slur.

Zager immediately said that she shouldn't have hit the child. A boomer's employee told the police that Zager, who is white, said that expletive, expletive, I don't know which one, which words she used, but I guess she did start with an end. I hate when they do this. I need additional information here. If you're just going to put that she said that expletive, expletive hit me in the back, I'm going to come up with my own expletive expletive. And it's probably going to be way worse than what she said.

Exactly correct. Right? I'm guessing there was a C word and an N word. Dude, don't make me fill in the blanks. That's going to be a problem. That's the name of this episode. Don't make me fill in the blank. That's going to be a problem, my friends.

Another boy claimed it wasn't the child's fault. Another car had caused a chain reaction crash that sent his car into Zagher's. Police said that the boy who was not identified had swelling on his left cheek and was treated with an ice pack. Zager was charged with child abuse and jailed. The charge was upgraded to second degree felony due to the racist nature of the alleged incident. Zager is also charged with four counts of drug possession counts after finding prescription pills in her pocket. So the charges were enhanced because of the word she used. Correct.

Think it, don't say it. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. There should be a bumper sticker. Think it. Don't say it. By the way, when asked for comment on this, Kimberly Ray said that it was justified. She said it was justified because he was acting Edwardy.

He was acting very Edwardy. I didn't have to get it. to the fun time on that one. Vinny already do it. Oh, God, damn. All right. Good job, Carl. You busted me. Gotcha. Cheryl Lavoie and her son.

Oh, boy. Yeah, we're going to do our next creep. Wow. Yeah, it's not every day that you read a story like this, is it, Carl? Carl had to take his glasses off. I had to show my wife this story. I'm like, look at what Vinny's making me do on the creep off today. Cheryl Lavoy and her son, Tony, are facing

criminal charges after they were allegedly caught having sex on the couch in their Massachusetts home. You heard that right? Yep. Cheryl and her son Tony. According to a police report, during police questioning, the voice reportedly admitted to the consensual sexual encounter with both claiming it was their first time together. What I've heard. No, she's exactly. I cares. I, this is the first time I fuck my mom. I don't know that she likes it if you nibble on her, rot earloat? Oh, God. You're getting to the most disturbing part coming up here.

I don't want to talk about it. I made a state, a mistake, and I'm embarrassed enough as it is. Tony LaVoy told police, yes, we did have sex. It just happened, he added. When asked how, it, quote, just happened. The voice said he was playing video game in the living room. And he and his mother just started to kiss and have sex. Dude, the most disturbing part is that it started with a make-out sex session.

with his mom Okay, wait, that's the second most disturbing part This woman was 64 years old He made out with his 60 That's worse than fucking your 64 year old mom, isn't it? Making out with her? Well, let me tell you what Cheryl had to say She said I was quote on top of my son on the couch

When they were quote caught by Tony's wife Yaw boy By the way, I feel like every wife has to compete With the mother-in-law to some degree Like, I'm sorry, I'm not your mom this woman has it way worse She sucks my dick way better than you She always grabs the balls

What's wrong with you? Yeah You think your mom never taught you about pegging Actually when reached for a comment Tony's wife said this You're not my fucking mother Oh God Cheryl explained that myself and my son

Have gotten a lot closer over the last few months And we just had sex after we were kissing As she had removed her own clothes She replied No we took each other's close off. According to what patrolman, Tony Levoi did not appear nervous or upset about having sex with his

mother. It appeared to be that Tony was more embarrassed about getting caught by his by his wife. The Levoys each of whom is free on personal, recognized bond, face a maximum of 20 years in jail if convicted of incest. I don't know if you saw this in the story, but apparently

when Tony was growing up, Cheryl used to sing this song to him all the time. Will you still need me? Will he still fuck me? when I'm 64 Way to go, Carl Way to go. Two men at Ohio, we're going to go to

another next story. Two men at Ohio were arrested Saturday accused of trying to abduct a realtor who was waiting to show a home. According to police, a 54-year-old female realtor told police she was waiting to show a home on the street when two men drove up in a silver SUV.

Police said that the driver asked the woman for her business card. When she handed it over, the driver allegedly grabbed her by the arm police said and tried to pull her into the SUV. She told the police that the man in the pasture seat yelled, get her in, and let's go. The woman struggled with the driver and broke free, then got into her vehicle and locked her doors as the two men drove away. Now, Carl, that's terrifying, but it's even more terrifying when you see those two fucking guys. Did you see the picture of them?

I did. There are two human sacks of fucking potatoes. Yes. They make Dennis Hasser look like he was in shape. Okay, yeah. I was thinking the same thing. These guys are pretty creepy looking. But I think... The one dude has a kerchief around his neck like a shitty Chris Jericho.

Everything's wrestling with you. Today it is. I think this is yet another unintended consequence of the COVID-19 lockdown. What else are these guys going to do? They wanted to go to an Indians game. They want to go to a concert. There's nothing to do. They're just to say it around them.

What are we going to do today? I'm like, I don't know, abduct a realtor? What else? What else could you do these days? I mean, these two looked disgusting. If I were her, I would have been like, keep driving, dude. Yeah, I don't know why you give a business card. Yeah, this person's not buying a house anytime soon.

I mean, they identified the suspects as Michael WB Evans. Dub, W.B. Wide birth, Evans. 37 of Henrietta Township and David J. Hilton, 45 of Vermillion. We're both charged with third degree felony abduction and first degree. misdemeanor assault. That's a weird conversation to have with your buddy.

Be like, you know what I'm thinking we should do today? What if we just kidnapped someone and, I don't know, maybe raped her in the van a little bit? I mean, I'm just joking. Oh, you're down with that? Okay, I'm kind of not joking. This lady was 54 years old, too. Right. It's not like they tried to grab, like, the little hot 22-year-old just trying to start

in the business. Yeah, if they would just, like, go jogging every now and then they might be able to, like, pick up an actual 54-year-old woman. Do you know? With their permission. You know what? I guess the logic had to be here. They were like, no 22-year-old is going to get near this car. Yeah, well, yeah, that's, they probably tried.

If I was drawing a picture of this car, just from looking at the image of these two guys, I would have stink lines above it. Just have little flies. Yeah. Oh, they look so stinky. Yep. All right. Ready for our last creep this week. Let's do it.

I got to be honest with you. My favorite thing is when criminals incriminate themselves. Like when they get into the conversations with police. so they just totally fucking give the gay boy because they can't handle it. Crawford'sville, Indiana police said Michael Parks arrived at the department on Thursday, August 20th,

to report his wife, Hope Parks, had disappeared two days earlier on the 18th after an argument. Parks claimed his wife threw her wedding ring and keys at him, then left in a car with someone else. Okay. If that's the case,

why the fuck are you at the police department? Well, he's reporting. you're missing, which that wouldn't be a missing person if someone decides to leave you for another man. Exactly. So they're like, if I'm a cop and this person comes in and tells the story, my head tilts

to the side a little and I go, well, she doesn't like you anymore. Yeah. Listen, sometimes other adults find other adults that they'd rather have sex with than you. And he said he repeatedly tried to call her and she wouldn't respond. Of course.

And he decided to report missing because she didn't talk to him after she supposedly left with another person. On that same Thursday investigators searched the couple's home. Now, would the police have searched the home if this idiot didn't fucking show up at the police department

and say a word? Yes, because eventually someone would be like, where is your wife? What happened? She left with another dude on the 18th. Yeah. That's the answer. Yeah, but it would have gotten tough when none of her friends or family heard from her. Stick to the story.

Stick to the story. Well, maybe also clean up a little better. Yeah, clean up is the problem here. Investigators searched the couple's home and found dried blood in the hallway, blood in the garage, and a bloody shoe print. They obtained a search warrant for the rest of the home.

Montgomery County Sheriff Deputies found a woman's headless body in the residence. Oh, they found her body? So they didn't lose all hope? That's not all? That's not all? You're on fire today, Carl. buddy well here's the other fun part uh they did not lose all hope because they found her severed head buried in the cellar yeah investigators also found a 22 caliber rifle on ammunition inside the home

and found a trail of blood droppings in the yard and a 22 shell casing a phone police believed belonged to whole parks was found inside a bedroom safe an autopsy determined that whole parks have been shot in the back of the head she also suffered blunt force trauma to her chest and extremities the medical examiner found the remains were positively identified through fingerprints and dental records. Family also made an identification. What kind of sick shit is that? Yeah.

That's a whole lot of fucking anger right there. No, no, no, no. They figured out who she was through fingerprints and dental records. Like, yeah, this is definitely hope. And then they also got the family to go over, like, what, hey, let's go visit your headless sister. I bet you what they did is they didn't even make them go to the police station. They just drove over there with the bag and a plant with the head in a bag.

Yeah. They were just like, hey, is this her? Is this her? Why would they need to do it? that? Why are they getting the family involved in this? I thought that detail was fucking preposterous. There's a lot

of preposterous things here. An additional search of Parks Home on Friday turned up a blue tarp with stains that appeared to be consistent with blood. Police also believe Parks used it to transport his wife's body to wear. That's what I don't understand. Transport a body to where. He killed her in the fucking house. There's blood everywhere. There's bloody

shoe prints. Her body's in the fucking house. The head is buried in the basement. Right. What is this fucking tarp about. Investigators also found additional hair and plastic bags containing blood covered rags in a hole in the cellar floor. It's obviously

the guy's first time ever murdering his wife. Yeah, this guy fucking rookie. He's going to need a lot more practice if he's going to get this right. And what mistakes did you make? Come on, Michael. You know, the thing is this. If you threw her head off a fucking bridge. I don't want a Monday morning quarterback this one, but

a lot of different ways is going to have gone down It would have been a lot better. You could have just not had the body at your house. You could have cleaned up shit. Dude! You could have also... A bloody footprint? You couldn't get the fucking...

The Swiffer out. The Swiffer out. You couldn't get a quicker picker up her? But that... What's wrong with you? Anything he did use to clean rags and shit. He put it into a plastic bag and put it in a hole in the basement? Yeah.

This guy's... You ever heard of a fire? You ever heard of a fire bit, you moron? Michael Park sucks. you suck at murder sir i've never even murdered my wife and i would have done a better job than this guy i know that for a fact i gotta be honestly i hate cleaning so you know oh that's right you'd be like she usually cleans this shit up fuck hope hope now who's making the mess around here hope now who's making the mess oh god damn

so that's our scum parade this week oh my god he's being held in charge with murder and held without mail. All right. So I know that this is a category that people are interested in because I see it on all the sites. This incest thing. This mom... Oh, we're back to that? Yeah. This is so disturbing. This mom and son thing. Yeah. Have you ever seen one of those

videos where they make out? Is that the grossest part of that story? It just led to sex because they started making out like, that's the bad part. I don't care that they fucked. Making out that should be thrown in jail for 20 years for that. Carl. all the videos are usually like

it's the step mom right it's not even the real mom right and they still don't make out because it's gross yeah the whole situation here the fact that this guy didn't seem nervous or like upset he was just she caught me like it's such a fucking

crazy town story the guy's 43 years old he's playing video games and then his mom comes in and he gets horny that's an amazing story that poor wife, man. She needs to work out herself, as Dean. You're killing all those,

those, what are those fucking little guys in Mario? What are those little fucking, the little mushroom? Kill all the little mushrooms, honey. Yeah. You kill those mushrooms the best. Yuck.

Yuck! That's the creep-off. Don't forget to vote at Creepoff pod. And leave us a voicemail this week. We need better voicemails than Prep Boy, Rick. 585-371-8-108. Yep.

and when you do vote at Creepoff Pod on Twitter, make sure to vote for Carl and wide stance Larry Craig. I would vote for the pedophile that was third in line to be the president. That's just my opinion. All right. Creepy as Democrats. So I guess it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice, Vinny.

Goe'ia. I totally fucked up by my room drop. I had the wrong setup for it, and I didn't trigger it right. That was bad. Way to go. Creep off. You know it would have been funnier. Tonight, one of Hathsard's alleged victims identified.

This young man, Steve Reinbold, the student manager for Hassard's high school restaurant. All right. All right, all right. Enough be a propaganda. Enough of your call in this 1970 yearbook description is great right-hand man.

You know what I should have said would have been funnier is if I said Larry Craig had a press conference in which he sang this song. I freaking hate vaginas. Really miss an opportunity there, Biddy.

You know, Carl. I could have also just played this for Denny Hasser. Ain't only raping children. Bye. All right.