The Creep Off - #35 Might Be Time For a Lawyer

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

In this week’s episode Karl & Vinnie search for the creepiest female cop on the force: Karl unveils another Nick Bate cover song for his consequence album: In the Scum parade we meet a Mother who knows how to delegate, A lousy wife and a man who recently set the world record for distance in baby throwing.

It's the cream off. It's the cream off. Hello, creepos, welcome to the worst contest on the internet, a show about creeps, by creeps, for you creeps. It's the creepoff. My name is Vinnie Paulino. Welcome to this last edition before our country burns itself to the ground. My co-host over here, ladies and gentlemen, please say hi to hot. Carla, what is happening, Vinnie Paulino?

You shot out of the cannon today. I'm telling you, it's nice to see you, corner-cutting motherfucker. It's nice to have you back. I'm glad I could spend this last day of the Republic with you. Ah, same here, Benny. Even though this is kind of a sad day for me, I don't think we need to pull any punches. Let's talk about the scoring from last week, shall we? Oh, yeah, let's definitely talk about that.

How did we do? I mean, you brought in a creep that you weren't even sold on. That's true. I did kind of halfway give up in the middle of my presentation. You did. And it was, I felt bad, actually, because I was goofing on it, and you just gave up. I was like, man, he's right, but my creep is bad. My creep is as good as his.

I can always figure out when someone's insecure about something they're talking about. It's one of the special gifts that I have. Yeah, you really are a treasure. A treasure of a boy. I have my finger over the USA-USA chat. I'm just waiting for you to announce the percentages of the vote from last week. All right, fine. With 64% of the vote, Carl fucking won.

Carl's back on the winning track. I don't care, I don't care. My jokes don't go over, I don't care. That's right, I don't care. I doubt it. It's two, too, too. I doubt it. It's tied two to two.

And so we are now neck and neck for the next spinning of the wheel consequences. Whoever gets to five first does not have to spin the wheel. Shit is getting real today, folks. And I believe, Carl, you said you were going to debut another track from your Nick Bate cover album today. Yes. We're just going to let them come out a few at a time here. We got one more song to check out today before the entire album is finally completed and ready. Before we actually start this week's creep-off competition, I want to take a second and just revisit our wheel of consequences because you and I agreed on a new consequence this weekend.

Yes. Remind me. Oh, it's truly the most awful thing I've ever thought of. And it actually gave me like, ugh. And I hesitated texting you with this. Okay. But the consequence is, the loser has to actually do something legitimately kind for their co-host. Wow.

Can you give me an example of what that might entail? I don't even know how to be kind. I have no fucking good. I know. I was racking my brain on that one. I'm like, what would I do for Viti? I'm not even sure babysit the dogs or something. I don't know.

Just get some wrestler to set me a cameo. Oh, yeah. There you go. That's a good example. No, I'm just saying, like, that's a really hard one. And that's a terrible consequence. I would hate to accidentally or on purpose make you happy. You'd hate to do it accidentally.

I would be very upset. I would be very upset. Oh, boy. If you were to be happy. I like that, though. What's that replacing? Can that replace the stupid mayonnaise thing? Yes, gone.

All right, thank you. That's so dumb. Well, actually, no, that one at least we could videotape. It could be content for the show. Eating at Tom Myers restaurant in Baltimore? or driving to Gary Indiana. Those are the two worst consequences out there. What fucking year is this that you don't realize you can take a camera with you to do both of those things, Pop Pop?

You want to watch me eat Mexican food. I want to watch you fucking walk in and have Tom Myers walk you to your table. All right. And have you go, hey, Tom, how you doing? My name is Carl. I would love to watch that. You know, I'm starting to think that that Tom Myers guy is not all there. Huh.

I'm starting to think that he might have some mental illness. Do you think it might have anything to do with the obsess? session with Children's Little League? It might, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of creepiness going on right there. I like both of those. I think driving to Gary, Indiana is great because there's a 50-50 shot if you make it out alive coming back.

That's a real consequence. Can I just play Russian roulette instead? If you're just trying to get me killed, can we do it a different way? It doesn't take up so much gas. I need gas is the problem. Gas is the problem there. I'm going to go ahead and say that is officially added to the wheel. So, Carl, if you want to hit the bell, you're going first day.

for this week's creep-off competition. That's right, Vinnie. And we picked another theme this week. You put a poll out on Twitter, let people vote on it. And what do we end up with? We've generally focused on guys. I feel like guys are always the creeps.

So this week, we decided to give a poll with a theme. All of our theme was very simple. Ooh, with the lady. That's right. We went for the ladies this week. And creepiest lady cop. Yes, lady is the winner. Female police officer.

Vinnie and I had to find the creepiest ones So I will start off With a woman named Amber Geiger and I picked Amber Okay I picked Amber for this You blazy, go ahead For this reason

Well, holy shit I haven't even explained who she is And you're already calling me out Of course you do I want to take you now to Dallas Texas where former Dallas Police Officer Amber Geiger Has been found guilty of murder

She is the Dallas police officer who killed a man named Botham Jean in his own home. He was unarmed. She killed, she's a white woman. She killed an unarmed black man who was just sitting in his apartment. Pretty creepy behavior, I would imagine, right, Phiddy? No, I would say reckless. Let's get a little bit more of the, all right, well, then it's the reckless off, whatever.

It's not the reckless off, it's a creepop. I'll change the name of the podcast, just so I can win this way. Well, we have a 50-50 vote on that, and I vote no. That's true. All right. Here's a better summary of what took. took place here. Let's flash backwards about a year. September 6th, 2018, Amber Geiger has just come off work. It's a Thursday. She's going to what she thinks is her apartment at the Southside

flats here in Dallas County, just really a few blocks away from Dallas police headquarters. And she thinks she's going to her third floor apartment. Turns out she's actually going to her fourth floor apartment. She tries to put the key in her door. She sees it slightly open. Here's a commotion inside. Pulls her service pistol. She told the jury that she told this shadowy figure she saw in the background. Let me see your hands. Let me see your hands. That was Botham Jeanne, a 26-year-old from St. Lucia, worked for Pricewaterhouse Cooper.

He was an accountant. He said, hey, hey, hey, and that's when two shots were fired. Both of Jeanne was sitting in his apartment watching Thursday night football and eating ice cream. This lunatic... I'm not going to lie, that sounds like the way I want to go. This lunatic! I'd want to know if I at least... won my bat first. Can I at least after the fourth quarter? You with the gambling. You might

have a problem. I might have a problem. This lunatic walks into the wrong apartment, assumes that it's hers, sees a guy watching television and decides she needs to shoot him. And what she's saying is that she thought she was in her apartment and that there was a burglar in there. And so she had the right to shoot someone who was trespassing. Now, Vinnie, I don't know how police are trained down in Dallas. I have a pretty good idea. It's a lot like a Yosemite Sam cartoon. I can't imagine that it makes any sense you have an unarmed man watching television

and you mistake that person for being a intruder in your home. Have you ever walked into the wrong house or the wrong apartment? Wouldn't you recognize that immediately that you're in the wrong place? I was supposed to get a ride with a buddy once. Yeah. And I went out to the park. lot to go to his red jeep to jump in we were going to leave okay i opened up the door and there's a dude getting a blowjohn in the front seat of the car and i was like oh this is the wrong car

i got it the wrong red jeep so right many there are certain clues that you would pick up on that you would recognize that that's not where you should be at that time correct and how this woman did not figure i mean there was no monday night football or ice cream but i knew i was in the wrong place So she didn't know that it wasn't her place. She shot at this guy, killed him, was convicted of murder. She's doing 10 years now. And once she shot the guy, now she is a police officer. She realizes that she fucked up.

And she was like, kill you have a bagel. Yes. She's like, well, this is not my place. So you would think that she would do everything she can to try to save this man's life. The prosecution was noting how Amber. Geiger who was carrying a first aid kit, who was trained in CPR, basically did a few moments of one-handed compressions of CPR, and then left to go outside to find out what apartment she was at when she realized she was not in her apartment.

They're saying she should have done more. She had combat gauze in her bag that was not opened at all. The prosecution held that up for the jury saying, you're carrying this. You did nothing. Why, Vinnie, would she do nothing to try to save this man's life that she just shot? Well, the answer is, she was sexting with her boyfriend, a fellow police officer, and she'd worked a long shift that day. So you're saying that she was just, even after shooting a man, so horned up, she had to go back to her sexting conversation immediately? Kind of.

Like, baby, you never know what just happened. I get so horny when I shoot people This isn't the first person she shot, by the way There was somebody else During a traffic stop Where she was patrolling Yeah, she was in the wrong city though It was amazing

Yeah, right I thought it was Dallas Oh, this is Fort Worth Oh my goodness Fort Worth You're giving her too much credit So let's figure out Why she was so preoccupied

That she couldn't try to save this man Prosecutors say that at the time of the shooting Amber Gaguer was preoccupied talking and texting with a partner who she was romantically involved with, and the jury got a preview of some of those sexually explicit messages. So she was texting with this guy. She texted super horny today. He texts back, Me Too, at 10.02 p.m.

It was hashtag Me Too. He was going to report her. At 10.02 p.m. She is just gotten home. She's going to walk to her apartment. She texts him and says, I need you hurry. Two minutes later, after shooting someone, she texts, I fucked up. That's not creepy. That's someone who's like, aye.

Vinnie, there's somebody bleeding to death that she had just shot and she's texting her boyfriend about it. Well, not for nothing, but maybe she should be performing CPR or trying to help the person out. You see, she already had hit the limit of her police training at this point, discharging the firearm. Right, right. After that, we don't know what to do. After that, we're just like, don't know. Hey, isn't this supposed to be like paramedics here or something? So I just, this is the last clip that I have on here.

I just thought it was funny because of the way they describe her testimony during this court hearing. Yeah, one of the prosecutors described Amber Geiger's testimony as garbage, saying, in fact, that it was absurd for a trained police officer. Someone, it's one thing for you or I who may not be trained to observe our surroundings in great detail the way a trained police officer. and she wasn't a rookie, was to be trained. So the prosecutor is saying that she missed numerous signs that you just pointed out, Omar, in the complex. Number one, being that she was on a floor higher than her own apartment.

The other was that there was a welcome mat, the red welcome mat that you pointed to, that she did not have on her floor. So I just think it's funny that they described it as garbage. That's how I would describe it. Had people ever heard the term too horny to think straight? Seriously, because they keep saying there's this red welcome mat out.

in front of the place, so she should have known. How about the fact that none of the furniture there belongs to her? How about that? How about the fact that the TV's in a different spot? The keywork? Did the fucking keywork lady? That's an interesting thing. So the door was open, and that's because this apartment complex, they had an issue with the lock.

So the guy wasn't able to lock his door. So that's kind of fucked up that that happened. Seems like a great place. This poor guy's 26-year-old accountant, just eating ice cream, watching the football game. And the last thing he counted on. Happy as a pig and shit. Was his lock not working. And now the police, hey, watch out, black men.

Now the police come to you. You don't have to go to them. All right. So that's my creep. Amber Geiger. Wow. Carl, that's your creep. You did a lot of digging.

Did a lot of digging on that one. Because I remember when I googled like female police officer arrested, the very first story that came up. It actually auto filled for me. It's just about how much research you do. It's about the argument that you make. What do you got, what do you got, Vinny? My creep's name is Stephanie Lazarus.

Officer Stephanie Lazarus. Now, she has an interesting career because she was a female police officer for the LAPD, started in the 80s all the way up to about 2010. LAPD has bad officers in it now? They didn't have a lot of like lady cop. So she was like one of the dare cops. You know what I'm talking about, dare? Do you remember that when you were a kid?

So when they showed you how to do drugs. Right. They're like, this is a marijuana pipe. Yep. If you ever see one of these and there's green stuff in it and you see people lighting it, don't do that. And then they go, this is how you inhale. All right.

Now everyone, we're going to pass this around the class. Yeah. Two puffs that's give it to the neighbor to the right. Now, she was like the drug abuse of resistance officer. She did that. She went to schools and talked to kids. She was the treasurer for the Los Angeles Women's Police Officers Association. For over 20 years on the floor, she'd been there for 20 years.

They promoted her to the lead detective in the art theft detail. So she was, like, in charge of trying to find art forgeries, stolen artwork. Like, that's like some serious. That's a specialty. Wow. Right. That's like some serious police work. And she was just the lady who was like had puppets and shit.

Tell kids, don't do drugs. And they're just like, you know, we're going to put you in time. So you're saying she didn't deserve the promotion, Vinny? Now who's the massageist? I'm not saying that. I'm just saying she had gotten that job. They just would have congratulated him on his promotion. No.

But a woman gets it and she's unqualified. I'm saying quite the opposite. I'm thinking that the cops are like, we don't want to go to the school, send the check. They didn't want to go do the drugs. So you're saying that she was actually underemployed for most of her career. Because let me tell you what she did, Carl. Let me tell you one thing that tells me how good she was. She got away with murder for over 20 years.

Nice. Here's the story. Before she joined the police. where she's in college and she met this guy named John Rutton. They were in the same dorm. Johnny Rutton from the sex pistols? Not him. Oh, okay.

Not him. Guys, a little cleaner, actually. This guy got into software engineering. She became a cop. They had an on again, off again thing. They used to basically be fuck buddies. Okay. That's the relationship.

Fuck buddies. They get out of college. They're still kind of fuck buddies. John meets and starts dating this girl named Sherry, who's a nurse. And Sherry is a wonderful lady, according to everybody the newest. they loved her her and john get engaged is sherry hotter than stephanie because this is very important yeah yeah shit stephanie's got like a i'm gonna show you some video of stephanie in a minute okay uh stephanie's got a trudy weigel thing going on if you're no nine one one fan oh okay

yeah she she's got like the mousy cop thing going on okay gotcha crazy fucking eyes this stephanie you'll see in a minute but sherry realizes that her husband is still fucking hanging out with this lady like this lady's still just a friend and she's still coming around and according to stuff that came out later even after he was engaged he was still fucking her okay he was still fucking Stephanie

so that leads us to I just can't quit you don't ever leave because I find you she's one of those yeah I believe the expression of that particular film was stage 5 clinger well how much of a clinger was she Carl

on the evening of February 24th 1986, 29-year-old nurse Sherry Rasmussen was found by her husband lying dead on the living room floor. Her face was severely beaten and disfigured to the point that she was unrecognizable, and the injuries were consistent with being hit with a muzzle and buttplate of a gun. She also had three gunshot wounds to the chest that were disclosed as the official cause of death, with a medical examiner asserting that any one of the three bullets could have killed her. Perhaps the most disturbing discovery during the autopsy was that most of Sherry's injuries were inflicted upon her after she was killed, which was concluded due to the lack of hemorrhaging and inflammation

of the injuries. This included most of the victim's facial injuries and even a bite mark on her left forearm. Even after Sherry had taken her last breath, the assailant was still inflicting an inconceivable amount of damage to her body. Yeah. You ain't pretty no more, Tuts. You think you're prettier than me? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's awesome. That's a real revengeful type of murdering. I like that type. Do you? Yeah. Do you? Yeah. So this guy comes home and finds his bride, his beautiful bride. Her face is beaten to a pulp. She can't recognize her. And her brand new BMW is missing. Her brand new BMW is missing. Yeah, she had a brand new BMW. And the car was missing. They found it a couple days later like two miles away from the house. To the Victor go the spoils, I suppose.

So according to- You won't be needing these car keys anymore. Yink. Correct. According to John, he told the cops that he was having this thing still with this other police officer. She at the time is a uniformed cop. So she's just a street patrol. I was having an affair with this girl. There were some other problems, Carl. According to the father of Sherry,

she had gone to the house and argued with Sherry because Stephanie had dropped off a pair of skis for John to wax for her. Okay. And Sherry was like, you're not waxing. this lady skis for? What is going on? We're married. Stop hanging out with this girl. And that caused a little bit of a conflict. So Stephanie went over there and apparently in her uniform and yelled at Sherry. Then there was another incident. You're going to like this. Eight separate witnesses testified that Stephanie had confronted Sherry at the hospital she worked at while the two of them

were reportedly in an intimate relationship with John. The confrontation was said to have been highly aggressive and Stephanie had to be escorted off the premises by security. Reports stated that Stephanie was by far the more combative and even made threats against Sherry's life. You don't want to threaten someone's life who you are going to murder eventually. Right. It's a really bad idea. Now, but when you're a cop, you're a cop, you're a cop all the way from your first beating of a suspect to you last time of your day. Vinnie, the musical.

The music man. I'm excited. Today for this episode. The situation goes like this. John, the husband says, look at her. the parents who have been talking to her about this woman and the shit that this woman's been giving her they said look at her and the cops you know what they say what do they say because she's one of them she didn't do nothing nice yeah got to take care of your own nothing got to take care of your own buddy i like it this bite that was mentioned in that clip i know it was long they did a DNA swab on it in 1986 they held on to it they didn't have like the big database that they had later sure this became a cold case nothing happened. Stephanie rises through the ranks of the police department. Then in

2009, they have a cold case unit now and they start doing DNA samples of all this old evidence. And one thing popped out from this DNA swab. The police theory was that Sherry was murdered by people breaking into the house that stole the car. There were other robberies in the neighborhood. There was another robbery a few days after the murder where two Latin guys beat up woman. Oh, blabing on the Latin guys. So the cops blaved it on the Latin guys and refused to listen to any other theories. Refuse. The parents of Sherry said, we will pay

for DNA testing. And the cops, like, we don't know where the swabs went. We don't know any. Like, the cops just blackballed everything. Yes. Until these people in the cold case unit ran the DNA. And they discovered that the only person that this could come from was a woman. The saliva belonged to a woman. That's a thing in DNA that you can tell? Apparently so.

So now the cold case cops are looking at this going, what the fuck? And they realize there's only one person in the notes that is mentioned, that is a woman that could have done this. And believe it or not, Carl, the art theft department was directly across the hall for the cold case department. Okay. So now they are investigating a woman who is literally in the next room. Makes it easy. Kind of convenient. And certainly you would think that it would.

Yeah. So they decide to steal a coffee cup that she discarded and ran a DNA test on the coffee cup compared to the DNA from the case. Does she know they're doing this? No, no clue. I was just going to say, you could just spit into a cup or something. No fucking clue. Identical.

Okay. They know it's her. Okay. So what do they do? Arrest her and they bring her in for an interrogation, Carl. Okay. And it is one of the most entertaining fucking things I've ever seen in my life because this woman is fucking the worst

liar on the planet. Okay, good. I prepared for you. Oh, I'm excited. Some fun examples. This is the cops just starting to explain to her that her friends said you and her didn't get along. One of the concerns I had is looking at some of the notes is some of Sherry's friends said

that you and her were having a problem because of the John situation. Wow. There's some terrible acting. I don't know. But, like, they start asking her questions. Like, did you ever meet her?

Did you know her? Not really. I mean, I knew that he got married years ago. Uh-huh. Did you ever meet her? God, I don't know. Oh, Jesus. You know who she was or anything?

Well, I... Let me think. Oh, my God. She's a guy. A long time ago. I may have met her. Right. So this is what we're doing.

Now, here's a fun one. Jesus Christ. They asked her... She should know. These are terrible answers to these questions. They asked her about the BMW. They go, is there a car involved? Watch this Carl.

She does, like, an imitation of Fire Marshal Bill. Okay. Any other cars that stand out in your mind? She's flapping her lips around. Wow, she's very expressive. Shaking her head back and forth. She looks like a fucking victim of Joker gas, dude. She looks completely.

So they're going out and they're like, hey, listen, by the way, there's eight witnesses who say that she went to her work and threatened to murder her. That's why it's so stupid to go, I'm not sure if I met her or not. Right. You got a screaming match with her at work, you idiot. Right. Like, well, do what do you know about her? Again, I mean, what, you know, I don't understand why you're talking about some guy dated a million years ago. Well, do you know what happened to his wife?

Yeah, I know she got killed. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. I don't know why you're talking about this. Well, do you know that there's a cold case? Yeah, of course. Well, there you go. I guess filling the blanks there, Dubby.

So now keep in mind, this lady's caught, Carl. Like, she's, they already know it's her. Then they ask her, this is fun. They ask her, would you take a DNA test? Would you take, let us take a DNA swab? You know, if we asked you for a DNA swap, would you be willing to give us one? Maybe. Because now, now, now, I'm thinking I probably need to talk to a lawyer.

Now you are? Wow. I'm a fucking idiot Jesus Christ This woman represented the LAPD To the community She was on an episode Of family feud Carl

Oh was she really She had that There's no clips of her on the show I found a still of her on it Okay But it was actually Oh what was the creepy guy Used to kiss everybody

Who was the host Richard Dawson Richard Dawson's last episode Believe it or not No shit This crazy bitch was on the panel Representing the LAPD versus the L.A.

Fire Department Wow So she got to make I think that was Richard Dawson's too bad. His saliva didn't end up on the victim. It was Richard Dawson. Can you imagine? She's like, no, I just kissed everybody in town.

It wasn't me. Yeah. I also like this clip. I like how she gets a little sassy hair. If you guys are claiming that I'm a suspect, then, you know, I got a problem with, you know, with that. Okay. Yeah, we're claiming you're a suspect, did he? I just stepped in a big pile of sassy.

She fucking sucks this lady. And she's creepy as hell. Just watching her. She got away with this for 20s. so odd years, dude. And she went around her life with those crazy fucking eyes every day. Yeah. Just knowing she fucking shot her lover's wife to death.

Yeah. And that is my creep. Very good, Vinny. At what point would you have left the country? Because I'm thinking, if I get away with murder and now it's a cold case, I'm not going to hang out in that town for the next 20 years waiting for it to come back. There's got to be for the same reason that, like, your lady just texted her boyfriend instead of doing anything.

I think they think there's just like a level of cover that comes with the job. Okay. You know what I mean? Like, Everyone's down in the police lately. I see what's going on here. I'm not trying to be that guy. Right, riding the bandwagon.

I'm not trying to be that guy. Vote for Biddy if Black Lives Matter. I see what you're doing. Somebody please pull that clip of Carl saying vote for Vitty. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, you just lost. So that's what everybody in the YouTube is saying. Hold on a second.

I have a problem with what you just said. What's that? You just lost. That's what everybody in the chat is saying. What did one person or two? people say it. Stop it with this shit. Because this is the kind of stuff that you do. You like to plant these little seeds. Oh, this one's over. I got this one. I obviously won. Clearly. And then notice how I gave it away to you last week when I said, ah, when I gave up. I forgot to mention

that this Amber Geiger chick, 31 years old, pretty cute. Pretty cute. 130 pounds. She has nice melons at her, on her chest. Yeah, you're goo-in-er right now. I am not doing anything. If you're trying to remember. If you want to vote, visit the creepoff.com. Carl, I would really, really enjoy hearing just a little bit of your new album, Baiton. Okay. Everybody knows this song. Let's listen to the original track from Nick Bate.

Going to stick it in Anna's butt. Gonna do it in Anna's butt. I'm going to lick Anna's butt. So my penis into Anna's butt. Buds, buds, butts. That Anna is a lucky lady. Oh, she sure is. So I thought

This has thrash music written all over This has to be a thrash song Okay I'm going to be a thrash song And I'm going to do an unfund I'm going to add a fun And I'm going to get a fun And I'm going to do an unfundice

So I got you to add a bus Put my face in the end of fun I'm going to put it to show an end of fun And a butt One to punch, punch, punch, fun, fuck, punch, fun Okay, okay Okay You have a critique for us there, Bitty?

Well, you know, Carl, I was waiting for the Bots, bots, butts part And you know, you ended with it, so I'm not as upset. Okay, got it. Okay, that was all right. That was all right. That was all right. I can't wait to hear the whole album.

Oh, it's going to be exciting. It's going to be one of those cars. We have a good mix of things going on. I'm just going to take a, I'm going to pop in the caddy, just pop it and put this in the CD player. Just let it just let it play. I'm just going to take a nice long drive out of the country and just listen to this on repeat. Vinny actually does have a CD player in his car, by the way. But he does not drive modern vehicles.

Correct. In case you were wondering. In case you thought that was the joke. It is not. But he literally will put in a CD in his car. Fine, Carl. Mock me, if you will. You want some voicemails?

Let's hear it. All right. Let's see what we got. This is comments on your album, actually. Some people had some thoughts on what you revealed last week. Okay, great. Fuck you, Carl. You outsourced your work in the Nick Bate album.

That'd be like if fucking Vinny was like, yeah, I got the door guy to buy my stuttering John Merge, and he's going to wear it on stage. La, lo, lo, lo, lo. Vinny, people's champ. That guy makes a lot of sense. You don't understand. It's not outsourcing.

Maybe I've misspoke. I have a team. I have a team that helps me produce everything that we produce. It's called the Jiggles Department. Croge is on board. We have a lot of people involved. This guy made it just under the 45-second mark. Okay.

Hey, Carly Pooh and Cheney Paulino. This is Crungetty. Excuse me? I have a lot to say, so hopefully I won't go over 45 seconds. Wait, pause, quick. I want to do the back catalog. Did he say Cheney Paulino? He did.

How am I never thought of that one? Because you're not that. funny. I guess not. All right. Sorry, go back. Even though I've been listening to you guys since day one. And episode 33, the one with Kevin is by far the funniest. You know, and it's the only one that he's been on. So, you know, is that a coincidence? I think not. Two, I know YouTube de-list celebrities don't care about what Orlando is doing with his life, but I'm currently going to school to be an airline pilot. And it made me think about a good, good theme for the, for the creep off, you know,

creepiest airline pilot. All right, get her done. Lastly, I want to try. 12-hour live stream with a you know and you know whenever Andy was on the screen my pants got pretty tight all right I'll just leave that with you guys all right call me back all right that call was Andy gets all of the gay pilots

they the stewards the stewards want nothing to do with them though just the pilot so that was did you hear what just happened to you and I Vinny we were just promoted to D-list celebrities I was going to bring that up that's amazing I'm looking for my hooray for Hollywood

and I just don't have it anywhere. Oh, okay. But thank you, thank you for using our names in the same sentence with celebrities. I mean, we're no stuttering Johns, but we're just glad to be in the conversation. We're no Vinny's dogs. Where is that video, by the way? Do you ever post that somewhere? It's on my Instagram.

I don't follow your Instagram. Can you put it on our website or our Twitter or something? I want to see your dogs on America's Funniest own videos. Fine. Do it. All right. I'll do it. So if you want to leave us a voicemail, you want to tell us how great the show is.

Call us 585, 371, 80108. Carl, do you think we should we get a review person to read our reviews? Because they're pretty fucking funny. Oh, we have funny reviews? Yeah, we've got some funny reviews. I'm not going to read them because I would never do it justice. Okay. Yeah, let's get a review person.

Who are you thinking? Like, who should we get? Well, there's three women I can think of who would do that. Right. There's Michelle. Don't know her. There's Teresa. Never heard of her.

And there's Casey. I like her. It's all right. Yeah. If we can get her internet fixed, we could definitely have her read reviews for us. I don't like the kind of girls you got to put any worker effort into. I'm out. I'm with you.

Maybe go with Kevin. We'll call Kevin. Oh, that's a good idea. We could get him to do it in his announcer voice. We would like to read the reviews of the creep off. All right. Let's put Kevin to work. All right.

That's a good idea. All right. I'll call him today. Cool. All right. You guys ready for a scum parade? Hold on. Just a moment.

I have something for you, Vinny. So... Is it chocolates? You came on W-A-T-P over a year ago, maybe a couple years ago now. And we reviewed a show called Red Bar Radio.

Do you remember that at all, Vinny? You know, that's the show where the guy did like a five-hour show with his wife every day. Yes. Okay. It wasn't, I didn't really like it. Mike David.

And I pointed out that this podcast had a video element to it. And you had a specific opinion I want to remind everyone that we're on Facebook live right now You had a specific opinion about On YouTube live I said Facebook?

Yeah, YouTube You're an idiot It's a video It's my point That's the point I'm trying to make This was your take I did a video show at the time This is your take on podcasts

I have video So I think that there's a lot of podcasters Who have made the terrible decision To add video to their shows Yes Because of how like cheap it is to do Yeah, it's easy It's easy to do.

It adds a layer of shit to what you're doing. People have told us we should do a video cast. Vinny, could you imagine people watching us do this right now? A little foreshadowing there. This is my take on a video. Are you trying to say that we're fickle? This is my take on it immediately after that conversation. It's not entertaining in any single way.

Two fat guys sitting around drinking a beer and talking to a microphone. So. We found a way to make that. worst it's just one fat guy and stupid you smile talking drinking a white cloth this is true that's what the live feed is folks this is true this is why people do not check it out very often yeah makes sense but for those of you who do here we're oh casey's in there hi kacey oh our future review girls here kevin oh right okayie how's your internet working today any better obviously she's watching us all right cool so uh are you ready for a skum parade god damn it i am ready

for the scum parade in the middle of the night and the early morning light you can see these are creeps from miles away they'll be banging their kids and banging siblings driving up a cliff with children on board watch out for the scum parade oh no it's the scum parade look out for the scum parade

making phoom parade There might be something wrong with me. What of it? I really do enjoy the scum parade. It is the greatest segment in the history of podcasting. That jingle is way too long. I just went, took a pee break, grabbed a snack. You want to know something interesting about that jingle?

What's that? Nobody wanted that jingle but you. True. You were the one who's like, we got to do what I got to the quiet riots on Rock Brigade. We got to do it. It's deaf leopard. And it works perfect for Scub Parade. It's the Rock.

Watch out for the Rock Brigade. I guess nobody knows that song now. I guess I'm the only one. No one else played in an 80s hair metal cover band. You couldn't have outsourced it to somebody who gave a shit? All right. All right. I did outsource it, but go on.

Ah, ha. The truth comes out. We're going to start the scub parade down in Lake Buena Vista, Florida. Does that sound familiar to you, Carl? It does. It's the home of the happiest place on earth. Not for one Georgia woman who's accused of hiding a loaded gun behind a plant near the entrance to Disney's Magic Kingdom.

Marcia Temple was arrested in charge with carrying a concealed weapon on October 8th after Disney workers spotted her hiding her purse near the entrance to the Magic Kingdom. Disney workers alerted security and deputies say they spotted the gun as they opened the purse to try to determine who owned it. The 9mm gun was loaded with 10 bullets, including one in the chamber. She's ready to do some business there. According to the reports, as the deputy was looking at the purse, Temple walked over and claimed ownership. The deputy asked her why she had a loaded gun at Disney, and she said her six-year-old son was supposed to be watching it for her.

Yeah, that six-year-old, by the way, but he has a lot of responsibilities. He's also supposed to be watching her grow operation, the Ponzi scheme she started, he's raising pit bulls for the dog fighting ring. It kids do it everything. I'm telling you, this kid's got a lot of responsibilities, and all he wanted to have is one day off at Disney. Right. So he wasn't paying attention to the gun. so she said I'm unsure why he put it over there behind the plant like she totally blamed her six year old she said that the six year would put the gun in her purse because he was in charge of watching it and she didn't know why she put it he put it in her purse

she was just leaving her purse there as a person always does when you walk into disley put your personal belongings and hide them somewhere he's supposed to have it in his diaper I told him he's supposed to keep it in case shit goes down yes in case goofy starts acting goofy I'm gonna put a hole in his ass. People suck it lying. They really do just suck at it. Do they really? Yeah. This lady lied all about her child and this gun. And I don't know the true story. All we know is that this woman either she's lying

or she legitimately thinks her kid fucked up. Because she walked up to the cops. You have to have a lot of balls to walk up to the cops and go. Oh, that's mine. My stupid kid was supposed to watch it. I guess so. This woman obviously spends

way too much time on her appearance too. Did you see the picture of her? She looked good. It must take her at least three hours to get ready to go to Disney. Yeah. There's a lot going on there. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that is Marsha Temple. Okay.

From the happiest place on Earth. We're going to head down to Duncan, South Carolina. Carl, did you see the mugshot associated with this picture? I sure did. This person got beat up a little bit. He got his ass beat. It's like an old blanket party was going on. Well, Duncan Police arrested a North Carolina sex offender,

on drug and voyeurism charges after he was allegedly caught in a woman's restroom Sunday morning. According to Duncan Police Chief Carl Long, a 15-year-old girl claims, and a man identified as 53-year-old Douglas Lane was looking at her while she was in the woman's bathroom at Cracker Barrel.

Now, if there's one thing I could think of that I'm not into, it's smelling girls fucking cornbread farts and shits in a bathroom in a cracker barrel. I mean, it's fucking all grits and dumplings and Yeah, I never understood the watchgirls pee thing. It's never been a turn on for me. Well, I really do like this part of the story.

She said she was just sitting there doing her business when she noticed something moving at her feet and realized it was a man's head coming from the stall besides her. Like a fucking guy who's working out of a car. Like he's got one of those things he just slides on there. Yes, I know. That's the thing. This guy's never heard of a mirror. He actually shoved his entire head underneath the stall. And listen, I'm a big guy.

but I don't know a lot of like full grown adult men who could fit on the floor of the stall to stick your head under that's like number one you're on the bathroom floor this is a man who has tried this I can tell just by the way you're describing it there's a lot of mechanics people don't take account for it's very difficult to get your head under there that's all I'm saying is like a grown ass man is going to have a hard time get his head under a bathroom cell well this guy figured it out he certainly did Douglas figured it out while the girl ran out of the restroom told her father they got a female employee to go into the bathroom and sure enough this fucking guy was in there

and he tried to run out as quick as he could when he tried to get away there were other fathers who were there at the restaurant with their families and they had the alleged blanket party in the parking lot while waiting for the police. Talk about a bad first impression with a girl's father.

If this relationship's ever going to work it's going to take a long time to win back that father's love, don't you think? Listen, when you court a woman there's an art to it. There's an art to it. You got to get the family on board. Yes, you want the family to like you.

Now, like this guy, if he had just popped under there and handed her some chocolates and some flowers or something, kind of nice. Who hasn't done that? Now we're going to head down to Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania state police say a 53-year-old man depended on his wife was covered in cat litter instead of being properly cared for. I'm thinking this is going to be my future. I can see that. Like, I just have a feeling that at some point my wife is no longer going to abide my bullshit. And I'm going to be too big and fucking fat.

Like, I would be like Bart Simpson and that thing. I wash my soap with a rag on a stick. And she's going to fucking just throw kitty litter down for me. So you think it's going to happen in the next couple of days, a week or two? How long is it going to take? I think I can make it through 20, 2021. Okay. We'll see.

Start of 2022. Police say David Magia was brought to the Geisberg-C-HMC hospital with a broken bones and covered in his own feces urine and cat litter in September. He also had a large rotting sore on his back that a nurse described as so deep it almost left his spine visible. A rotting sore. Yes, that you could see his spine in. Gross. Yeah.

He'd also been reportedly been struck by an ATV in August. So this guy is a stroke victim. Wait, where was the ATV in the kitchen? He was outside in August. He was outside to August. I could see the wipe driving the ATV through the house just to hit this guy. So, yeah, I guess he got hurt in August, and he was basically bedridden. He had already had a stroke, and his wife was supposed to be taking care of him.

Yeah. Officials said he had recently fallen onto the floor where he remained for weeks and days until paramedics took him from the home. Paramedics responded to a call about a patient with hip pain and found human waste and garbage inside the home, and the victim was found on the floor covered in cat litter and a sheet. So he's pissing and shitting all over the cat litter, and she threw. sheet over him. Right. But she put the cat litter down because he was shitting, though. Yes. I think there's a statement in there from her, right? Yes. Yeah, what did she say? This is hilarious. She put the cat litter around him because he was defecated on himself and had become

impossible to care for it. He was, quote, ruining the house. Yeah. So she's just getting frustrated with this guy's like, you fucking asshole and just throws cat litter on him. Yeah. And a sheet. What do you think this house smelled like when the people entered it to find this scene? Well, one thing I've noticed is anybody who's ever owned a cat will tell you, your house doesn't smell right. I'd rather shove my nose in one of Stuttering John's hiking boots than to smell what was going on inside this house. That's really sick. It's got to be terrible. That's really sick. She is now facing several charges. The wife, Catherine, felony neglect of a care dependent Las Vegas. Did you see the mugshot for this motherfucker, Carl? I most certainly did. It looked like he was

being restrained. This looked like clockwork orange where they had the fucking guy in the chair. this motherfucker Wow Clarence Edward Martin Sometime after 1 a.m. Nicole Poole The mother of his two-month-old baby Took the baby into the living room

And sat down on the couch next to the front door of their apartment Police say Martin Walked over Pulled the baby out of her hands And stepped out of the apartment onto the landing outside of their place So he's just here I'll hold the baby I don't think that's how that went down But go ahead

Well, it says she sat there She pulled the baby out of her arms It wasn't like a exchange, a handoff Seconds later He stepped back into the apartment It did not have the baby Yeah So I don't know if he was maybe going for a magic trick

To-da Pulls the baby off her behind her ear Oh, there it is No, that's not what the baby was No, it's not what the baby was When he walked back into the apartment but didn't have the baby, pool said she ran outside and found the baby lying on the ground in the parking lot area. Investigators determined that the baby was thrown 22 and a half feet from a

height of nearly 15 feet. 22 and a half feet, do the Dallas Cowboys know about this guy? They might want to give him a look. They need somebody. If you can throw a baby over 22 feet, that's a pretty good arm. I mean, this guy's no Josh Allen, but I mean, Josh Allen could throw the kid out of the stadium. Oh, God. Have you ever seen Josh Allen throw a baby? He's the best. Yeah, he is. He's the best at the greatest baby thrower. It'll run away from you, too, if you try to catch him. The child was one month and 29 days old. He was 15 feet up in the air.

Like, he wasn't on the first floor of that. It's a second-story balcony. The kids should be able to survive that, right? It's not like he threw the kid 22 and a half feet from standing on the ground. He had some height. Yeah, but still. That adds to the distance. But still, this kid's fine, right?

No, baby's dead. What? He's absolutely dead. Oh, come on. You can survive a second story drop? Come on. Well. It's, that's not.

Not good. As Martin fled, a downstairs neighbor heard him saying, burn, motherfucker, bird. Like, I'm just hearing in my head. Do you remember what's his name? Anthony Anderson and Harold and Kumar when he just starts trying to, like he's burning down. Burn this motherfucker down. Yes, this guy is going crazy. Going nuts at this point.

That's why I don't think it was just an easy exchange of this baby. He's pissing his girlfriend. I like to think that it started off very peaceful. He thinks it was very calm at 1 a.m. Yeah. All right. So he's screaming, burn, motherfucker, fucking bird. This is what you get for cheating on me.

Yeah. Martin had allegedly started a fire in the apartment. Seven other apartments were evacuated. Firefighters found a poodle dead inside of a cage in their apartment as well. That sucks. Now, they didn't say if the poodle died just in the cage, if these were fucking assholes who neglected this animal.

I mean, they weren't very good parents. I can't imagine they were very good dog owners either. Yeah, but typically if a dog is dead in your apartment, you take it out at some point. I'm guessing that it died of like smoke inhalation or something like that. you don't just live with a dead poodle that's not a fun thing either yeah we also don't throw children off balconies i don't by the way i personally did you see the i sent you when i sent you the email for

this i said what is it with people throwing babies it seems to be going it's becoming more and more popular i think it might like there might be like a fucking ticot channel oh my god i just had an idea what's that video game baby throwing baby thrower you think we get josh l to endorse it it's very popular. And now we'll find an outlet that people can throw babies who are crying and are annoying and maybe their their mom's cheating on you. I don't know. Whatever the scenario might be. And then he's got to chuck the baby. I'm thinking like eight bit graphics. And it's just you try to throw it as far as you can. Blah, well, like I can already hear it. It's going to be great. This is a good. All right. I'm on this up. I shouldn't have said this on the show. Cut all this

out. I want to make a million dollars off of this idea. Carl, I own half. Fuck. Martin 32 fled in a white 2015 Mercedes-Benz that was involved in several crashes before he was eventually arrested. This guy is odd. This guy's a lunatic. He thinks he's going to get away. And this is my favorite. Read the rest of this. This is amazing. He was eventually arrested for entering a secure area of McCarrant International Airport less than an hour after the initial call to the police. Authorities arrested Martin after he crawled into a restricted area of the airport by going through a baggage convention. This is amazing. This is the kind of shit you make movies about. And I know this guy's an asshole, but this guy's amazing.

He jumps onto one of those baggage conveyors in order to get into an area where they can't find him in the airport. Right. I would have never thought of that. Well, they caught him outside of a building near the tarmac after an American Airlines worker saw him. He was booked on felony charges of murder and first degree. Do you think he was just going to hop on an airplane and get out of there? I love that his idea was, I'll just go to the airport and I'll just get out of that. town catch me if you can must have been on fucking cable that night or something i can't think of a

place that has more security and police presence than an airport if you're trying to escape from police airport's not the place to go not even a little bit but he gave it he gave it a college try though man he did better than most he was creative with it yep he's like should i go through the tsa no that's probably not a great idea oh conveyor belt that's it here's my ticket The guy five bucks to hop on there. Yeah, that's going to get you far after you threw a baby. Five bucks. That's awesome.

You never saw me. Meet Mr. Lincoln. All right, Carl. That is the end of this week's scum parade. Thank you, everybody, for joining us to the live feed. And thank you for downloading and listening and telling a friend and all that shit. And for reviews. Yeah, I didn't realize.

Yeah, leave a review. Make them funny. Five stars, if you don't mind. And we'll have Kevin read them. hopefully starting next week that'll be fun i love it he'll do as he's told right if we call calvin be like i need you to record these the only thing he ever said no to me about was can we continue doing watp together that was the one thing he did now but everything else he's usually pretty do you feel okay with letting him get this close to you again he's just going to hurt me

again minnie i can't take it do you think you do it as cobra commander of course you get him to do i'm telling you there's nothing he says no to we'll get him to do it we're to call him right after this. He does some other good voices, too. Let's not, let's not sleep on some of the other impressions. Maybe we should just have him do whatever impression he feels that week. Yeah, I guess it depends on who the reviewer is and what the review is as far as what voice he should read. I feel like we should let an artist be an artist. Yes, give him some creative license and let him do it. I love this idea. I'm on board. So, folks, until next time, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia!

Bullshit. What is your favorite hole? It's the cream off. You fucking know all about this shit. You stupid ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard? Jesus Christ, I met some dumb bastards in my time, but you out do them off. Are you dumb, stupid, I'm dumb, huh? I mean, this guy was a real jerk.