The Creep Off - #5 Snake Type Thing

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

We had a tight competition last week, and the narrowest margin of victory so far. This week the boys start adding to the wheel of consequences. Vinnie puts us to sleep faster than his creep and Karl nominates an internet darling. In the Scum Parade we learn about navigating race relations, a creepy swim instructor and a dog that did not have Jesus as his co-pilot (spoiler he had a guy on drugs)Don’t forget to vote @ Thecreepoff.com

Did you watch this Tiger King bullshit? I did, yes. It's fucking great. I feel like we should do like a special just about that, but nah. I think people are already talking about it. Exactly right. I don't think that there would be a point to it. I don't know what's looking for more information about that fucking thing.

I have a question. How many podcasts do you think have Tiger King specials right now? The only thing that anyone's talking about in any podcast from what I can tell is coronavirus and Tiger King. There's no other topic of conversation going on right now. Well, let's change that shit right now. Let's do it. Hey, kids. It's the cream off.

That's a good time. I'll fix it in post. That looks perfect. well apart from me fucking up the intro welcome to the creep off my name's viny this is my co-host hot cuck cacarla what's up vini how are you pally boy i am doing spectacularly well i love coming here to the studio and acting like a real podcaster on our true crime podcast this should have been your dream years ago it's like actually having a real studio when i podcast yeah yeah it's something that could easily pull off and obviously you belong in the category

of true crime. All right. Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen. We have heard your votes this week. We have tabulated your votes this week. And I believe this is the closest we have ever come, ever come in the voting

for last week's winners of the creepbox. Who were the creeps last week? I forget. Well, I think yours was R. Kelly. You might want to talk into that, Mike. Yep. Yours was Ralekelly. Mine was a guy named, uh,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Renal, Renata, I believe his last day was it, he fucked a chicken at work. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this week, you ready, Carl? I'm going to show you the board on your screen. Okay. You see you right there?

Uh, ah, fuck me. Six votes. Please. Man, this is a huge deal that's going to be a big. Biddy, bitty, bitty, d'i. Ah, you motherfucker. Uh, no, chicken fucker, friend, chicken fucker. So celebrities don't do well for me, do they?

It's a terrible, terrible route to go. down. And if you found a way to shoehorn Michael Jackson in this week, you're definitely fucked. Okay, fair enough. I'm pumped about being the winner this week. That's right, 39 votes to 33 votes. Six vote difference. Thank you. Congratulations, Vinnie.

I'm very happy for it. That makes us tied up, Carl. So what's the score now? Two to two? The score is two to two. Okay. And we are moving on, and we have the wheel in studio now, Carl. Yes, I finally brought the wheel of consequences. It's a rainbow-colored wheel, which I guess makes sense for this competition.

Yeah, it's a little silly. It's very festive, very festive. And we're going to be adding some things onto it, included on the things that we'll be added are drive to Gary, Indiana. Yep. Have to wear crocks in public. I'm thinking you have to wear them to work, and I'll wear them on a show. Like I'll actually wear them out on stage on a show.

Perfect. I just never acknowledge it. I love it. You should do that anyway. It'd be the funniest part of your act. What act, Carl? Yeah, I know. Carl.

But he's not a joking mood these days. His life has completely been turned upside down. He's a stand-up comedian who can't do stand-up comedy. Oh, it's the worst. And so many stand-up comedians are trying. I would like to nominate for the creep. Any stand-up comic who does video of themselves doing stand-up comedy in their living room, I nominate them.

You're a fucking attention whore, and I hate you. While Patrick Michael would disagree with you on that. Oh, I heard he's all happy. He's all happy. Listen, Ben Bailey did a... set in his basement. And I know Ben and I actually very much like Ben as a person. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Doesn't work, does it? No. Doesn't really capture the magic that you get from a live stand-up club. No. Not even a little bit. Not even a little bit. What are these people fucking doing? No, I'm trying to pull up the suggestion, some of the suggestions we have. What the fuck are you doing? Loser gets a gun in the butt by the winner? A gun in the butt?

Yeah, that was a suggestion. What does that mean? You get to put a gun in the loser. It doesn't mean you fire it. You just get to... You're just pegging somebody with a gun. I guess, yeah. All right, that's cool.

I get it. All right. You down for that one? It's fine. Is that what going on the board? Gun in the butt makes sense to me. All right. What else?

Okay. Let's see what we got here. So we would have to produce a live stream where the loser will have to sit for 10 hours and listen to combinations of stuttering John's podcast, Opie Radio, and Seamus. See, this isn't fair, and I'll tell you why. I don't like this one.

Because you have to do it already. Well, it's obviously my torture. So people will vote against me purposely in order to torture me with that specifically. I'm voting for it on the wheel. I don't like it. I don't think that there should be ones on there. Like, is there one that you have to like, I don't know, jog for 13 minutes? Oh, fuck that.

That would be the one. That would be the one that, like, you would be bummed about. Like, if they made me do one of those stress tests, that would be the worst day of my life. Live stream that. Oh, God. A live stream stress test? Yeah. Okay, I'll put that on there.

All right, that's kind of funny. Okay, live stream stress test, actual legit one. We'll get a doctor to order it somehow. I love it. Okay. And the live stream, the Stuttering John Opie Radio. Ten fucking hours. Yes, a ten hour live stream.

We have to sit in front of a computer. Ten hours. You'll be allowed bathroom breaks. Yeah, okay, good. We'll figure that out. Ten hours. Maybe I'll take the camera with you. You know what, speaking of bathroom breaks.

You think that wouldn't be tortured for me? You think I'd enjoy this? It would be torture for anybody. Opie doesn't he want to listen to himself. That's why he doesn't edit his show. Nobody wants to listen to this shit. All right. So those are some of the things going on the wheels, people.

Please send in your suggestions. Email them to creepoff pod at gmail.com. Yes, please. And don't forget to go to the creepoff.com and vote at the end of every episode. Now, since I won. Yes. That means I get to go first this week, correct? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. Who do you get? Yeah. All right. Let me start off by playing just a little clip to get us going. Here we go. A couple of minutes ago, Dr. Manish Gupta is now charged with illegally dispensing controlled substances, aggravated sexual abuse and sex trafficking. That sex abuse and sex trafficking charges could carry a potential life sentence. The 49-year-old omnis and practices at artisan, cosmetic and reconstructive surgery. Plastic surgeon, Dr. Manish Gupta from Toledo, Ohio. Yeah.

I creep this week, Carl. And I want to introduce you to him because I want our listeners to get a clear picture of who this gentleman is. He's a very well-coffed man. He owns three cosmetic surgery centers. One is in Michigan. One is in L.A. He's got them all over the place.

I was going to say Toledo, Ohio, are people really trying to look good? You live in Toledo. I'm going to get a boob job cares. No one's going to see. I'm sure there are a ton of terrible boob jobs in Toledo. Who would even know? How would you possibly find that out? All right, but he's in L.A. too.

Okay. Okay. I think it's L.A. I have to look it up. But either way, or Wisconsin. He's in Wisconsin. I know that too. Okay.

Yeah, he's like stars of the Midwest. Was someone going to fly over a girl with nice looking tints like that? And listen, I'm not saying he's a bad plastic surgeon. I don't know if any of his work does ever end up on that botched show or anything like that. Right, right. But he has accused of some pretty heavy things. And I just want you to, here's a clear picture of what Dr. Manich Gupta, Carl, I'm going to put him up on your screen in there.

Excellent. Okay. So you could get an idea of what he looks and sounds like. I finished my training here at University of Toledo Medical Center. And there was a need for a plastic surgeon. So I opened up an office near St. Charles Hospital. And we continue to use. Okay.

That's all I'm going to, that's all you need to know. He's a gay or Indian than that guy from the village people. He's a nerd. Nerd. Yeah. Nerd. Hell, I opened up a plastic surgery office, but like he's dating. Chappelle doing a white guy voice.

Yeah. Okay. This is Dr. Mnizh Gupta. Now I'm going to read to you a little bit about the details of his arrest. And boy, is this a fascinating story. And I'm going to try to do this as succinctly as possible. But Jesus Christ, there's a lot of information here. Okay.

Okay. An investigation into Gupta was opened in January of 2019, alleging that he improperly drugged and performed sex acts after a woman who worked as a high-end escort reported that Gupta had done just that her in September 2016. Can I stop you? Yeah. He improperly drugged her?

Yes. So is... Not only is he paying for it. Isn't that what you have to do when you perform surgery has put someone under? No, no, no. See, this was a high-end escort that he hired. Oh. Oh, so this wasn't someone coming in for a boob job?

No, no, no, no. Gotcha. Oh, okay. Email exchanges show Gupta and the sex worker identified as KB had arranged to meet at a hotel in Los Angeles where Gupta would be for a convention. According to the emails, he outlined his sexual preferences, including his request

to film the encounter. She declined that. When they met KB performed consensual oral sex on Gupta and later was asked to turn away from him and slowly take off her clothing. This is where it gets a little weird. He's like, would you please turn around for a minute? Yeah. The indictment said

KB believes Gupta could have been recording her because he demanded she turn around so many different times, right? Gupta, then asked KB to change in Delondre and serve her a glass of Prosecco. KB. Siped from the glass and Gupta asked her to insert and remove anal beads.

Okay. This is the only normal thing so far. This is the affidavit. She does not remember anything after removing the beads. Oh boy. Yeah. Out like a light. Oh, boy. In the morning KB drove to the home of another client that she had, who's an anesthesiologist.

He administered a drug test. The test showed she had tranquilizer in her system. Okay. Now, this is just one person whose story we know. Yeah. Now, here's something, I don't know if you know this, Carl. I learned this from this story. There's a website, and God damn it, if anybody who's listening to this knows the website

and has information on it, send it to us, please. Because holy shit, would this be an amazing segment for the show? It's a basically a helpline in a warning, like, chat room for sex workers. Like, look out for this guy. Look out for this creep. That's amazing. Yeah, I know. No, and this girl goes to that site and uploads information on Gupta.

Vinny, that would take care of the content for our show for the next 30 years. That's what I'm saying. We've got to get access to this. It's got to be at least one segment. We'll call it the Horboard. We'll know what's going on the Horboard this week. Oh, that would be amazing. Okay.

Another woman on their acclaim that Gupta drugged and raped her during a conference the same way. And Gupta's employees at his practice, artist and cosmetic surgery, began to get suspicious of him as well, Carl. Because this guy's a doctor. and he's running an office. I don't know who the bigger creeps are. A woman called the office stating that Gupta had drugged her, raped her, and video recorded her. She described him, his phone, his car, all this stuff ended up in the affidavit.

But the employees who worked for him never called anybody, never reported him. Employees who traveled with him for frequent conferences and conventions also found it very strange that he never brought a bag on flights. Investigators said he would ship his medical bag to and from wherever he would. was staying instead of flying with it. Employees told investigators that a different bag used by Gupta to bring supplies to hospitals for procedures and Botox parties went missing.

They searched all over until one of them found it on top of a bookshelf. When the employees opened the bag. They searched all over. Oh, there it is right there. He saw like some really loyal but shitty employees. Yeah, right? I'm going to tear this place apart. Oh, you know what's actually sitting right there on?

Why did we put the holes in the walls? We should have just looked on top of the shelf. So when the employees opened the bag, guess what they found? I've lost. They found multiple sex toys, atal lubricate, large plastic surrogers, empty anesthesia bottles, women's lingerie, a blindfold, a tripod, a possible camera. I don't like this article. And narcotics, including ketamine, benzodiaphine, valium, suppositories, and Versa. The affidavit said an employee found 10 to 20 SD cards and Gupta's desk.

Oh, Jesus. A federal agent who obtained a search warrant for the content of the card said, They contain five different videos of Gupta engaging in sex acts with four different unconscious women. Why do people put all their illegal shit in one place? Make it a little bit more difficult to find this stuff? He starts getting investigated by like medical boards and stuff like that because they're going, there's something being weird about they're delivering all this medication.

We don't know where the medication's going. Yeah. So those are, there were two separate investigations, one in 2016, one in 2019, right? In 2020, both the. state of Ohio medical board and Toledo Police Department received calls from someone claiming Gupta had been raping women for years. Okay. And he just got arrested

in March 10th. Oh shit. So this has all hit the fan very, very recently. He has not been convicted of anything yet, but they have up to 20 women that they, after they searched his home, they found SD cards of him with over 20 women that are knocked out. And there's a whole bunch of women

on this message board who are our heroes of the week, the sex worker, the real hero of America. They, got this guy busted. Yeah, it's surprising. He doesn't seem like he's really good at covering himself up, covering up his axe. I'm surprised it takes that long.

It makes me think I should be performing more crimes. When I hear shit like that, I'm like, oh, you get away with shit like that and be that dumb? Why am I not doing shit? And it's because this is what I find the creepiest about this, Carl. Number one, it's a guy who is definitely, you know, he's hiring high-end escorts, but he's a doctor. Yeah.

Like the betrayal of trust from anybody who's a doctor. doctor, you know, you think better of them? He's a plastic surgeon, Vinnie. He's a doctor. Oh, yeah. He's so important that we get our fucking, our crow's feet fixed up. It's so important. Here, drink this.

Drink a little bit of this, and you might feel a little bit of a sting. This might be a little uncomfortable if we're all good night. Yeah. Like, that's what's going on. This freaking nerdy doctor. All right. Drugging and raping. And by the way, he's paying for their company, too.

What does he need to drug him? They're going to do whatever he says. See, you should have led with that. That's really the point. That's my final point. That's really the best point of all of these. He's hiring people who will fuck him and suck his dick. That's what they do for a living.

Just lay there and play dead, would you? Like, that's all he's got to do. It's kind of a Cosby thing because Cosby was also hooking up with chicks who would have fucked him. He was Cosby. Is he your creep this with Carl? Did you pick Cosby? No, I'm saving Cosby for what I'm down.

When you have four points, I need a win, no bad. Eat a dick. All right, who's your creep? All right. Thank you very much, Vinnie, for reading every single word of that extremely long article. I did not. There were multiple paragraphs I left out, asshole. I have a creep that I brought here, and I want to thank Herb for sending this in as a suggestion to me, because I'm terrible fighting creeps, obviously.

Oh, you had help on that? I did. Yeah. Fuck you, Irv. All right. So, a couple things were off the bat. This person's name is Levi Dane Simmons. Now, I don't like that at all.

Three names. You know what that means. Is he from the South? Tell me he's from the South. Levi actually lives in Portland. Okay. So he's like a yuppie. Yes.

So Levi Dane Simmons is also known as Snake Thing on the internet. Oh, that is not good. And, Vinny. Look at my snake thing. He's a furry. All right. I mean, should I just drop the bike now and I already won, right? No.

All right. So he's a furry? I'll go further. If you want, I mean, it seems like I've already... So, furries are the ones who dress up like animals, like, they're big giant stuff animals and they fuck? Correct. Consensually?

Correct. Well, it's not as creepy as my guy. Yeah, yeah. So this is a person who's a furry. Three names. Goes by Snake Thing. And here's just a little introduction into what he's up to. Snake Thing, aka Levi Dane Simmons, was the biggest player in the zoosatism ring that was busted

in September 2018. This guy was extremely prolific among Zusatists and furry pedophile communities. He was abusing animals. He was abusing his own underage family members. Online, he was grooming minors and two sexually abusing animals. Just an awful, awful excuse for a human being. What an asshole! Did they say furry pedophile rings?

Yes. Holy shit. No kids were safe on Halloween in that neighborhood. No. Oh, man. What are you supposed to be, kid? Oh, I'm a dog with a boner. Oh, neat.

Great costume. So... Oh, no. I learned a new word. Oh, no. I learned a new word. It's a zoosatist. Did you know what zoosatists were?

No. This is a guy who doesn't just have sex with animals. He also abuses them. And I don't know if this is going to be... I mean, you're a dog person, right? Vinny, you have dogs? Yeah, my wife. Yeah, all right. You're not going to like this.

On October 25th, 2018, he was arrested and charged for sexually abusing a 12-week-old puppy, and all his electronics were seized. Twelve-week-old puppy! Oh, God. Please tell me he's in jail or dead. Not even in dog years is that legal. A 12-week-old puppy? Yeah, cram, you're joking there, asshole. A 12-week-old puppy, no.

Yeah, all right. So you want to know if he's in jail or not. So this is why I'm bringing this creep because recently, back in December, charges were finally brought against this person. Not just a couple charges. I believe over 30. Good.

December 4th, 2019, Coos County Police returned to Snake Things House and arrested him on 31 charges. Seven charges of encouraging child sexual abuse in the first degree, which is child pornography distribution and a class B felony. 19 charges of encouraging child sexual abuse in the second degree, which is child pornography possession and a class C felony, and five charges of encouraging sexual assault of an animal,

which is bestiality pornography possession, and a class A misdeme. So listen, I got a couple of things about that audio. I would like to dissect for a second. Like, number one, that does not sound like a reputable news source. It sounds like a 13-year-old talking over to Star Trek the next generation. It's like if you called Vic and As Turner read it over there. Correct.

This is like just an internet thing. Only people on the internet are outraged by this person. And when whoever they were read that part of the thing, 31, there was like a chuckle. Like newscasters don't sound like us when they read news stories. Guess how much of a disgusting pervert this guy was? 31 charges. 31. Wow. Whoa. Check it out, everybody.

I also want to point out, Vinny, that this scumbag was an asshole from very early on in his life. From an early age, Snake Thing was exhibiting unhealthy sexual behavior and a lack of boundaries. When he was in school, he was kicked off the bus for sexually assaulting other students, and locals have accused him of rape. By the time he reached his teenage years, he was already dipping his toes into hardcore sexual content involving bestiality. As he grew older, he continued to push himself to sexual extremes until he was finding pleasure in the torture and killing of animals and sexual abuse of children as young as babies. All right, this time of the show, I'm going to take a pause and let everybody

masturbate. Oh, Jesus, Chris, Carl. Carl. Sorry, was that inappropriate? Carl. This guy's just a creepo from being a kid. He's just like a sick person. My guy's got the premeditation. My guy has the college education of three businesses to lose. Come on. You're trying to make your case during my case. You had your chance, asshole. This is my case. You got more?

You're going to read to me? There's more. Play for me? There's more that I need to play for you. One more clip about our buddy Snake Thing because... This amateur? Snake Thing, he didn't get out of the house very much, fortunately. But because of that, he had to keep it within the family.

Snake Thing abused those closest to him to satisfy his sick urges. He targeted his. his sister's dogs and his nephews, and made plans with longtime friends Sanjianatovus to groom the boys into their personal playthings. I refuse to believe that's the original music that was in there. I might have done a little

production on that one. And also, he had a friend. This guy was fucking his nephews. And his sister's dogs. I mean, I think B.C.L.E.L. Zufilia. whatever you want to call it, I think it's wrong, especially if it's a family member, right? Doesn't that make it even worse? It's, yeah, I mean, maybe you're a little less disgusted when you find out it's like, you know, a stranger's dog, but then you're like, Snoofos!

Right. So, yes, he did get a friend involved to fuck his nephews with him. He's all over the internet, and he was able to cultivate this whole community around zoosatism, which is the problem. with the internet. I think we should shut it down. I don't think we should have the internet anymore. It's not working out. We can't handle it. I'm not feeling good about it either. I'm not feeling real good

about it. So, please, go on the creepoff.com, and vote for Levi-Dane Simmons, a.k.a. Snake Thing, as the biggest creep this week. I think you should vote for Dr. Sleep. Well, Vinny, this is the time of the show when I asked, did we get any voicemails? Yeah, Carl. We get any feedback

on what's going on with this show? We did, and I've got to be honest with you. I didn't appreciate this voice. mail we got. Vinny, you're neither funny nor entertaining. I can't think of another podcast other than maybe the Seamus show of someone who puts in less effort into trying to tell me the idea that their chosen person is the creepiest person.

It was like, yeah, it's this one. Go for me. Also, your voicemail needs to go straight to fucking voicemail. Don't make me say a name. Fuck you. And don't make me listen to the ringtone six fucking times before it picks up. Carl just goes WAP, go straight to voicemail

just says, don't be corny you're like, nah, I'm going to make these assholes sit through six fucking rings. Sixes. It's seven rings now, motherfucker. Seven rings now, bitch. What are you doing, man? I rely on you for our of the tech

side of things. I set up a Google voice fucking account. Is there a button I push to pick the amount of fucking rings? You're fucking this all up. You show up unprepared. You beg people to for your creep, and you can't even figure out the voicemail? I feel like I'm podcasting with Kevin again. What's going on right now?

Oh, you're a real asshole. This one came for you. This one came from the Bazinga Boys, and they put it on our Twitter account, and I rather enjoyed this. Fucking out, Carl. This show's revealed just, you're the dumbest, of the dumbest of the dumbest of the dumb, dumb dogs, you fucking dumb

dog. You get all excited about doing this big reveal where the celebrity is the creep. Ooh, good one, Carl. And then you lose to the semen injection, dude. You fucking idiot. Yeah. In your mind, you go, oh, this guy is injecting people with semen.

That's a good prank. I should go on YouTube and do that to people. So I'm going to bring in some pranks as myself. And then you fucking win somehow. I don't know. So this week, I'm, oh, God, you fucking, you won somehow. So you think, oh, this is how I'm going to win from now on, bringing in some pranks to fuckheads.

Nope. You didn't even learn your lesson from that. You just go and do the exact same strategy as the week you lost. Oh, here's a cool reveal where, uh-oh, it was a celebrity all the long. Whoa, you fucking idiot. Oh, stupid buildup to a fucking celebrity rafers. I play it every second of this. It's a good.

I can't wait for this week, Carl, where you bring in Ashton Kutcher and the time you punked Malcolm in the middle. Ooh, creepy. You fucking cunt. Thank you. I love you for that. Paziga boys. I just have one thing to say. Fuck you!

You're such a sad puss. Oh, that's fucking funny. All right. By the way, I am stupid, and I want to point out that I have no strategy. People who think that I'm strategizing. I look at my watch. I'm like, oh, shit, I've got to go over to Viti Studio. I better find a creep real quick.

Not far as the truth. And this week, you didn't even do that. You had somebody send it into you. Thankfully, yeah. Someone keeps sending me suggestions because I don't go on these websites that video goes on. A guy named Irby. Yeah, Herb is getting the point if you win, you motherfucker. No.

What are you talking about? I pulled clips. I pronounced a word correctly for once. I put a lot of work into this. All right. Well, I guess the contest is in your hands. We both got beat up by the listeners this week, and that's fine. Great.

But go vote. The Thecreepoff.com. And Carl, I believe it is that time of the show where we start marching down Main Street. It's time for the scumper. The scum parade These are my peeps The scum parade There's nothing for creeps

The scum parade I'm parolanding show Now with 100% less background music It's time to I noticed that last week He totally just took it out Like fuck it People are bitching about it

I'll just take it out Yeah, it was like less work, fuck it. All right. Do you want me to, like, whistle or something? Police in Thornton, Colorado, are looking for Lee-Nay-Lee, and Zakio Fang, 48. Investigators say relatives discovered the couple's five-year-old daughter on her own in the family's front yard Monday evening. The girl allegedly told officers her family said they were going to the grocery store that morning, but never returned. Wamp, wah.

Yeah, this is awesome. The relatives said that. They're not sure why the couple would have left a little girl at home. The five-year-old remains with relatives who found her. K-U-S-A reports police executed a search warrant of the home Wednesday, allegedly uncovering substantial illegal marijuana grow operation. And investigators believe that their two-year-old daughter, Annie Lee, is with them. So they took the two-year-old left the five-year-old.

Yeah, I thought that was hilarious because sometimes, I don't know if you have siblings, but sometimes you debate who's the favorite. Oh, I think Bob loves me the best. It's like, these two do not have any debate. It's very cut and dry. It's like, we're gone. We got to skip town. I love that.

Let's take the two-year-old. The five-year-old's already a disappointment. Who knew the Asians were growing drugs at home? Is this what they're up to now? Fine with me. Go ahead. Who knew? I thought that they were studying math.

They're growing marijuana? Well, aren't you being a little racist today? That's not racist? They're studying math. Who would have thought they were growing marijuana? It's a stereotype. Everyone loves a good stereotype. Yeah, nobody knows there's nothing racist about stereotypes.

I'm an idiot. Don't say shit for attention. It's not cute. It's right, Carl. It's a lesson learned. Tacoma, Washington state troopers say that during a high-speed chase near Lakewood on Sunday, they were pursuing a 1996 Buick, lovely model. According to K-O-M-O-News reports,

the vehicle reached speeds of 109 miles per hour on Interstate 5 and hit at least two other cars before driving onto a trail for cyclists and pedestrians. Just crazy driving, Trooper Heather Axtman said. The troopers became astounded to see that a pit bull was in the driver's seat of the Buick. When police finally stopped the vehicle with spike strips, a 50-year-old unnamed man inside told troopers he had been teaching his dog to drive. This was an amazing story. And the thing that pissed me off about it was the very first sentence in this article. And I hate reporters.

I hate journalists. They try to be cute. Here's the first sentence from this article. While it may or may not be possible to teach an old dog new tricks, teaching a dog any age to drive is not advisable. Oh, it's so cute. It's so funny. Because, you know, the teaching old dogs new tricks thing.

It's fucking terrible. It's terrible reporting. You should be fired from your job. There was a dog driving 100 miles per hour down the road hitting cars. And that's how you fucking open the article with that nonsense. troopers say that the pit bull was in the driver's seat while the man steered the suspect has been charged with reckless endangerment hit and run driving under the influence of drugs and felony eluded

yeah how what kind of drugs are you on you want your dog to drive what is that i haven't found them yet yeah i gotta get on the dark web and figure out to get that i got three little chauffeurs to be waiting at home right we're heading to the midwest carl okay jacob masbrushed 21 was arrested Friday after a 17-year-old swim instructor at Swimtastic Swim School and Waukesha told police she found a cell phone hidden inside a tissue box on a shelf in the employee's locker room. According to a criminal complaint obtained by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the phone had been positioned towards the showers and the changing area of the locker room. The girl told this to the police.

She also went to report it to the staff there. Mossbrush overheard the girl report the incident to staffers and tried to insist that he found the phone and smashed the device and shoved it down a locker room drain. So Jacob Masked Rush, he was caught for filming these girls. So that sucks because I

subscribed to his newsletter. Yeah. I was wondering why I haven't seen that for a while. That YouTube channel sucks now. Yeah, right. So he overheard this and he all of a sudden he just runs and goes yeah, she's right, it wasn't there. I found it. I smashed it and stuffed it down and drained because that's what you do. Right. Because that's what you do. Instead of, like, hey, let's use this and figure out whose it was,

maybe try to figure out what the story is. He says, I immediately destroyed the evidence and freely admits it, obviously making him the number one suspect. Authorities ultimately found videos on Ross-Bresh phone depicting four different girls and women believed to be between the ages of 15 and 25. He's been charged with five felony counts of capturing an intimate representation. Apparently, that's against the law. Are you telling me, Benny, that there is a single women's locker

room in this country that doesn't have a camera running 24-7. I got to imagine that's just one of the cameras that was in there filming these women taking their clothes off. Well, this kid just got caught for it. Right. Who's not filming women taking their clothes off in a locker room at this point? It's 20-20 people. I mean, come on, cameras are so small and affordable these days.

Right. You should assume that people are recording us in this room right now. The tanning salon, the locker room, your car, your bedroom, there's a camera on. I put it there. I'm watching. Everybody should know, Carl's looking. He's like Santa Claus, ladies. Let's cut all that out and post.

Nope. Leave it in there. What did you do? All right, we're heading to Iowa. We're sticking in the Midwest, Carl. Robert Noi is accused of forcing a woman to watch the miniseries roots purportedly to better understand her racism. By force, on Monday, Cedar Rapids Police were sent to an area in the city for an open line

9-11 call with lots of screaming. Police said in a statement when they arrived an intoxicated man, later identified as Noi, answered the door. Police said a 37-year-old woman and her 12-year-old daughter were found inside crying. It is a sad movie. Police said the woman who had been

told that had been told that Noai had been assaulting her all night and made her sit with him and watched the miniseries Roots, based on the best-selling book, Roots the saga of an American family. The woman apparently tried to escape, at which point Noi told her to remain seated and watch the movie with him, or he would, quote, kill her and spread her body parts across Interstate 380 on the

way to Chicago, end quote. Noyes facing charges of first degree harassment and false imprisonment. So I've also dated racist women, and what I do is I force them to watch Cuckold Board. I find that's the way that you cure them of their racism, not Roots. Roots is too long. It's not, no, it's too much. Yeah, it's a big commitment. It's a big commitment.

And this guy's already drunk at the beginning of it. I mean, what's going to happen? I love me. He's like, you are a racist. So this is a black man with a white woman. He's like, you are racist. I need you to watch this or else I will murder you. I'm like, well, a murderer is actually probably worse.

Maybe you're the one with the problem. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You're going out there. Well, I feel like maybe he's just misunderstood. It's just a very forceful lesson. That's fucking funny.

Now, let's talk about this last creep. Yeah. We're in the world of Corona. And a Florida pastor was charged Monday with holding Sunday services in violation of local orders against gatherings of 10 people or more due to the coronavirus. The sheriff's office had received an anonymous tip that pastor refused requests to temporary stop holding large gatherings at his church. Instead, he was encouraging his very large megachurch congregation to meet. He said Rodney Howard Brown 58 was taken into custody at his home on 1.30 p.m. The police say his reckless disregard for human life puts hundreds of people in his congregation at risk and thousands of people.

of residents who may interact with them this week in danger. These fucking people do not get it. They're not understanding what's going on here. No, you're not understanding how the Lord works. This is very important. There are probably guys who are thinking about sucking each other's dicks, and we need to pray the gay away.

Correct. Just because coronavirus comes up doesn't mean we can start letting people suck each other's dicks off a side. These snakes aren't going to handle themselves, people. We've got to pray this shit away. So a few people die because of it. Whatever. God killed tons of people. It's all he did.

Think about how many millions of sperm will not be wasted. Right. Yes, you've got to think about the ramifications of these actions. He held two services, two Sunday services. There was enough people to have two shows, Carl. Yeah, I know. That's amazing. It's amazing that nobody's thought, like, well, nobody else is doing this.

Should we? Did we be doing this? Do you want to know the most ridiculous part about all of it is? Like, if you were going to have a secret meeting, then you were going to break the laws. Yeah. Would you live stream it on your church website? Did they really? Yes, they did they live stream?

There's just people all next to each other. Like, everybody could go look at this shit and be like, oh, yeah, you definitely did this. Oh, he's fucking idiots. And apparently, the pastor's getting death threats and, uh, fuck him. Would you like to know what makes him a creep after all of this, after being arrested, going through all this? Please. And he said that his church is closed this Sunday, which is today.

But at this time, quote, I have not made any decision about Easter Sunday. I have some advice for this guy. Time to quit talking. You're not helping yourself. You're not helping yourself, dip shit. But, I mean, there's videos of pastors all online. You're going, don't forget to give. Don't forget to give.

Oh, of course. Yeah, either way. That's the scum parade for the sweet kids. All right. Carl. This is the time on the show when I always say, oh, I should have like a drop or a stinger for the end of that. And then I immediately forget it and then don't do anything.

Yeah. Is that this time again this week or did you actually do some work? That's why today will not be a great show. I did not do anything. Okay. Perfect. I should not do anywhere. Well, I guess it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gigi. Sleep well, every pony. Oh, this is why I do this too.

Wash your fucking hands, assholes. I need the cream off Who gives a shit who gives a fuck I need information on the whoreboard Send it to me Vote for snake thing