The Creep Off - Episode 101: I Sniffed a Girl

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

This week Karl & Vinnie celebrate President's Day by making their nominations for creepiest person to ever sit in the oval office: In the scum parade we meet a hungry drunk man, a driver with the worst intentions and a new mom: Karl spins the wheel of consequences and accepts a listener challengeWe are currently 1 week and 28 patrons away from the official roast of Karl & Vinnie! Help make it happen by joining us at Patreon.com/thecreepoff.  You will get cool merch and access to exclusive bonus episodes!

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Coot-coo, coo. Coalation is not causation. Disgusting

Vomot-inducing thing Ola creepos, welcome to your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps, by creeps, for you creeps. my name is vinnie paulino i am your host that's my co-host carl hamburger what is happening vini paulino good to see you my friend i'm glad to be here with you today to play another round of the internet's worst contest the creep off carl i need to go right into this uh-oh we need to go directly into this because people are going to wonder why that's sitting behind you creepiest rochesterian let's do our review before we talk about this now this is a different type of review our pal tucker

Dixon. Ah, yes. Sent in a video review this week. Nice. Hey, everyone. Tucker Tilsen here with your video recap. Last week we visited Rochester, New York. What you might recognize from Andrew Garfield's Macomopus, the amazing Spider-Man, too.

Vinnie's creep with a bad man. Yes, he was. He raped and murdered children and murdered hookers. And for those of you who don't know, hookers are people you can pay to do the weird sex. the weird sex things you're too scared to ask your wife to do or oh yeah i would know yes i would Carl brought it a creep that dared to be mayor while being a woman that's not good now i bet you think Carl is going to be my creep because he laughs at hideous crimes and makes fun of more successful podcast like the greatest debate in the universe

or getting drunk with a girl that enjoys painting her face instead of filming Vinny jumping into a lake. But my actual creep is Davey Havoc of AFI for fueling my punk rocking got stage. Ooh, that's all I got for this week. Tucker out. See how easy it is, Carl?

Wow, he's got better and better. He called you out. Tucker Dixon, that was way funnier than Maddox. Holy shit. I'm going to go right ahead and say, keep Tucker Dilsen the fuck away from me. I hate pickles. But Bravo. Good job, Tucker. So that was the review.

I brought in Arthur Shawcross. Carl brought in lovely Warren. Here are your results, ladies and gentlemen. And Vinny had 65% of the votes. It's going to make a point. And this is a huge deal that's going down. Rob you for our very eyes here. You done with that?

Uh-oh. Excell to your true believers That means I just won the round I just got five points Five to three It means I'm spinning the wheel today Oh joy of joys Carl

You know what that means Are we making any changes of the wheel too Hold on Carl do you know what that means What does it mean Vinhousing for the Wienhousing Yeah I need the Couseroo's to start Participating a little bit more here

So you are spinning the wheel today Yes And I added two new things to the wheel. Okay. Okay. I took off truck nuts. Yep. And we agreed to a while back we had discussed this. Murder and makeup video consequence. Yeah, that's hilarious. Well, you were going to have to put on all of your makeup while reading a murder story. Well, reading a murder story, and that'll be a video that goes out. Cool. And you have to do a good job. I've never brought makeup before. Well, you're going to have to do your best. And I hope you use that pointy pencil thing.

Which member of kiss do you want me to be? I want you to be. I want you to be. I want you to be Vinnie Vincent. I want you to have the conk. That'll be cool. Sweet. We also added another fun one, which was we took off the Patreon money because I'm already getting his Patreon money. All right. Until I have to spend.

So you're fucked on that. You are fucked still, my friend. But I changed that to something really nice. I thought this would be a really good one. It is do something genuinely nice for your co-host. That sucks. That sucks. Oh, that sucks.

Oh, that sucks. Yeah, I can't even think of what that would be. I can't even think of an example. Yeah, I know. It's really fucking hard, and you will have to do that. So those are our two new additions to the wheel. We'll find out what Carl's getting at the end of today's episode. Now, Carl, let's talk about what today's theme is.

We had said last week we were going to do a wildcard round, but we forgot it's a very special day today. It is President's Day. And today, Carl and I will be making our nominations for the creepiest American president. Carl, you've been waiting to do this one, haven't you? You know, honestly, there are so many that came to mind, and I thought about doing the deep dive, and I don't want to talk about the fucking Clinton Foundation anymore. It's just too much.

I do much Clinton Foundation on this show. What? No, trust me, there were a number of candidates that I considered. I believe that. Before making my final decision, even though the one I picked was my immediate reaction when we were messaging about this. Yeah, you coughed. up blood.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to start the round. Go ahead, Carl. All right, Vin, who do you think is the creepiest American president? Now, keep in mind, we're like, what, 250 years now of American presence? What are we on? Number 46? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of different presidents over a year.

I'm going to tell you something. I have also decided this week. A lot of cross-dressing weirdos running this country. Lots of, lots of opportunities here. We didn't say creepiest FBI director. Yeah, well, maybe we'll do that one another time. What is it, FBI Day? Night 11.

Deep State Day. Oh, that'll be fun. I hope it's a Monday. Carl, I decided to very much represent the minority point of view of our listeners. I decided to go out on a limb, and I have decided my creep today, for better or for worse, no politics involved. Okay. We are only going to judge a man by their deeds. Okay.

Not only is he a former president, he's a very well-educated man. Okay. He graduated from the Wharton School of B. business, Carl. And he went out to found his own university. Right. Yes. He holds the distinction of being the only president to ever be impeached twice, twice as good as all the other ones. I will also add he is the most polarizing man on the planet and he doesn't even have a Twitter account. Number 45 Donald J. Trump is my group today. All right. Well, I'm all ears. I want to hear your argument for this one. Okay. Well, I mean, because I mean, this is just a remarkable businessman and

family has done so much for our great state and for this great country sure yeah i'm interested to hear how we could possibly now folks a lot of you are already foaming at the mouth mad at me for doing this i don't think that's true okay good i think trump has less support than you're making it out to be well i don't know who our audience is some of these episodes but well they obviously love fucking lovely warren for some reason i don't know why that is we're because the other guy was eating prostitutes vaginas like an apple that's right okay i forgot that you also brought a pretty good We're going to start back at 1973. How does that sound, Carl?

It sounds like way before he was president. Well, at the time, he was the president of his family's real estate company, the Trump Management Corporation. Okay. Now, the Justice Department sued the company for alleged racial discrimination against black people looking to rent apartments in Brooklyn, Dwayne's and Stan Hodge, bitch, bitch. The lawsuit charge of the company quoted different rental terms and conditions to black rental candidates than it did to white candidates.

And that the company lied to black applicants about apartments. not being available. Do you remember that PSA radio commercial where they would call about an apartment listing? And they'd be like, hey, this is Jose, signor. Is it department still available? And they're like, no, no, it's, it's been taking. They're like, hello, this is Frederick and I am looking for oh, yes, of course, sir. When can you come out in? It was like the most racist. Yeah, PSA ever. I do remember that, actually. It's so funny. And that's exactly, this is exactly why it existed. Yep. So, this is the reason for it. The lawsuit at the time, Trump in the paper called Absolutely Ridiculous.

That's what he said. But without admitting wrongdoing, the Trump Management Corporation settled the original lawsuit two years later and promised not to discriminate against black people. So, you know, happy endings there. For sure. Justice was served. He also agreed to send weekly vacancy lists of his apartments to the New York Urban League, which, you know, is a civil rights group. Yep. And just three years after that, Carl, the Justice Department sued the Trump Management Corporation again for allegedly discriminated against black.

people by telling them apartments were available this is going great so i'm not calling trump a racist i'm not but uh these people used to work for them in uh atlantic city are okay workers at trump casinos in atlantic city new jersey have accused him of racism over the years the new jersey casino control commission find the trump plaza hotel and casino two hundred thousand dollars in nineteen ninety two you know want to know why why well here's the first hand account from one of the employees he said that when donald and ivana came to the casino the bosses would order all the black people off of the floor jesus christ they're like get in the back are you serious this is what they're saying they will find two hundred thousand dollars for this wow a former employee at trump's castle

kit brown said that it was in the 80s i was a teenager but i remember it they used to put us all in the back. You know, if you're trying to get a job at CNN, I do have to warn you that they're under new management now. So maybe a year ago, this would have helped you out. Well, let's not just take it from the black casino employees. Okay. Let's take it from a guy by the name of John O'Donnell, who was the former president of Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino. He quoted Trump as saying a few disparaging things against black people in his book. In fact, he apparently called them lazy. And he also said, quote, this is what he's attributing to Trump, so he doesn't sue me. He goes, and isn't it funny?

I've got black accounts at Trump Castle and Trump Plaza. Black guys counting my money. I hate it. O'Donnell recalled Trump saying, the only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmacos every day. Well, it's got a point there. And then about another employee says, I think the guy is lazy about a black employee. And then he said, it's probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is.

I believe that. It's not anything they control. This is from a book that came out in 1991. He's letting him off the hook at least. Now, another book that was written about details another story that I swear to God is horrible, but I hope it's kind of true because it's really fucked up and funny. Okay. Ivana Trump, the mother of Eric, Ivanka, and Don Jr. Uh-huh.

Okay. In his 1993 book, The Lost Tycoon, a guy by the name of Henry Hurd, acquired Ivana's divorce deposition, in which she claimed that Trump raped her. Yeah, I've heard this. Yeah. The part of the book that caused... This is the thing you want to be true, Minnie? But the reason why is fucking ridiculous. Okay.

Okay. All right. I don't want him to have raped her. That doesn't make any sense, Rick. That's not what I heard. I know. Keep going. Okay.

Get to the hilarious part. In the swore deposition from 1990, she stated the previous year her husband had raped her in a fit of rage. In her account, she was furious because Trump was furious because he had scalp reduction, which is an operation to eliminate a bald spot. And it was unexpectedly painful. Yeah. Ivana had recommended the plastic surgeon who did this. In retaliation, Trump yagged out a handful of his wife's hair and then forced himself out her sexually. afterward according to the book she spent the night locked in a bedroom crying until the next morning

trump asked her the next morning with menacing callousness quote does it hurt oh so trump has denied both the rape allegation and a suggestion that he had scalp reduction procedure these are all lies none of that happened all right hurt said that the incident which is detailed in her deposition was confirmed by two of her friends so i just like to to think that he had the surgery and his head his scalp is so fucked up carl that he just was like oh i can't go back you actually he's so mad because his hair is fucked for the rest of forever yeah he does seem very sensitive about his hair when people goop on his hair dude every morning for him is the opening to american hustle every goddamn morning for this

guy and he's a billionaire he only don't understand four hours a night that's why there's so much time to his hair he you ever see that video where like he's getting off the plane and the wind hits him, and his whole fucking hair just falls off for a second, they like pulls it back. It's really unreal how he's able to make it. It's like Darth Vader with his helmet, like when he doesn't have his helmet out on that one scene, an empire, and then it comes down. Lies, these are all lies.

None of this happened, Carl. None of this happened. This is all alleged. Allegedly. This is all allegedly happened. Yeah. So Carl, where do we start here? I thought we were to get started.

What's going on? Oh, let's talk about Trump. Where do we end? Can we talk about Trump. for a second. Sure, sure, yeah. Not a real university, ladies and gentlemen. Not a you, not just the word universities is used.

Correct. It was a series of lectures that cost $35,000 to take. Okay? If you wanted to go to this thing, obviously, if it was a university, there would be an admission standard, right? Like you would have to show I graduated high school. I've done all these things. I qualify.

Potentially, sure, sure. Well, there was one qualification that was in caps on the application, and that was all payments must be received in full. Well, let's not pretend that the university system in this country isn't exactly like the same as this. I can't argue that. Can't argue that. So anybody who had a valid credit card was submitted to Trump University in essence. They told the professors that worked there, which were just people that they hired to teach shit out of some dumb book that could sell it.

They were just like almost actors, these people. Sure. From what I understand, they told the professors, if members of the media happened to approach the registration table, that Trump staffers were. instructed to not talk to them under any circumstances. Actually, they were told to say this. Lick, lick, lick, lick my balls. Yeah.

Very cavalier, if you ask me. In the handbook, they wrote, reporters are rarely on your side, and they are not sympathetic. And that's the way the news goes. At one point, the playbook advised Trump Stanford, if a district attorney arrives on the scene, contact the appropriate media spokesperson immediately,

which I thought was really funny. Very smart. Now, Trump really didn't teach these classes, but can I show you a clip of the commercials? Yeah, of course. There we go. I like it. Boom.

Trump University. Yeah, buddy. At Trump University, we teach success. That's what it's all about. Success. It's going to happen to you. I don't think you can guarantee that, sir. The B-roll is hilarious.

Bro. If you're going to achieve anything, you have to. to take action. And action is what Trump University is all about. Action. Success. Credit cards. Payments. Knowledge. Knowledge. Above all, it's about how to become successful. I'm not going to show you the whole thing, but it goes on like that of just him spouting words like that at the camera.

I like the people watch this. It gave him $35,000 a pop to go. Yeah, the B-roll's hilarious where he just shows him being a businessman, like fixing his tie, like, you know, getting his suit. I'm like, hey, look at me, a business guy. If you go back and watch that again, if you're watching this on Rumble or YouTube, it almost looks like they caught him burping in one of those clips. Just go back and watch it later.

We're going to keep moving on. This is the funniest thing to me. He told everybody that if you went to Trump, you, and you graduated from the program, he would show up and you'd get a picture with Trump. That was included in the $35,000. Well, he didn't show up. Here's a picture from the graduation.

So natural looking. They put up on cardboard, just like a, like a banner with a picture of him on and some people would take their picture next to it brutal you know i once got my photo taken with the band weezer and it wasn't much better than that at least those guys were actually physically there but they just trotted us in to stand behind them took a photo they never even acknowledged us they just sat there staring at a camera this guy is you know he's been fined for racism by the government okay sure you want to put it that way he's what a fake company yeah okay and uh he's very business man the fucking

Tim Dillon. In the 90s, man, people loved him. In 1998, he was on hardball with Chris Matthews, and he asked him, would you ever run for president? And this is what Donald Trump had to say. You imagine how controversial I'd be. You think about him with the women. How about me with the women? Can you imagine? Wow. He was referring to Bill Clinton. Wow. He's like, imagine all the shit they gave Bill Clinton. You know, they're going to come after me. Boy, did he call that. That's funny. Now, we all know about the, uh, the Hollywood insider audio that leaked where Donald Trump was talking about all the things he could get away with. Grabbing him by the pussy.

Yeah, grabbing him by the pussy. But he did say one thing that I thought was kind of interesting. Okay. Before he got to the grab him by the pussy, this is the part that people kind of don't think about. You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. I just think.

I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. Okay. He just grabs women and kisses, though. He just offered this up to Billy Bush. All right. Well, talking about it is one thing. Wait till we get to my creep.

Go ahead. Okay. Well, I might have the Trump card on that one. I don't think you do because 26 women came out and accused him of a sexual malfeasance, so to speak. Yeah, paid by the Democratic National Committee. Yeah, I've heard all about it. There's stories time and time and time again. Rachel Cook's secretary who worked at Trump's building said she grabbed him and kissed her on the cheeks and then just kissed her right on the lips outside of an elevator.

You're saying hello. There's a million stories here I could go through. You ever see the show Sopranos, Vinny, you're an Italian guy. You know how many sexual assaults take place on that show? He's a friendly people saying hello to each other. Sure. You know, this one woman, Jennifer Murphy, who was a contestant on season four of The Apprentice, said Trump straight up kissed her too.

But she thought it the same way you did. Yeah. And I think he's a lovely man who wants to say bye. And that's why I truly believe that not all of these women, except for maybe her, wanted attention. Yeah. Because it seems to be Jennifer Murphy wants a lot of attention. Carl, I don't like to blame the victim, but she seems like a bit of a problem.

This Jennifer Murphy, I found this video three years ago. Okay. And I could not believe it when I saw it then. And now that I get to bring her up in this story, I feel like you might want to watch this. This is Jennifer Murphy at a big party she threw at her business. Jennifer Murphy beds, which, for those of you don't know, Murphy bed is one of those beds that pulls out of the wall. So she sells those. She has a store that does these.

And she had a pink carpet event to debut her brand new song for all of her friends and family. And ladies and gentlemen, I now give to you, Jennifer Murphy's song, I want to be ninja. My Murphy bed sat down to scratch my head. What could this day bring? It could be anything. I get the phone call. I got to help them all. So far, so good.

me long to find the ticking bong he took off in my jeep that chow is such a creep i gotta find a way to take down chow one day he pulled a ninja move it got me to be who you know what maybe i too could be ninja Take child don't do time. I love to be a job. I started to train. Okay. It goes on like that. Holy shit.

Oh, Vinny. I love this woman. I love this woman. I am a fan. Okay. I approve. Our next bonus episode. Why didn't she put on such an Asian accent on there?

There's an Asian woman standing right in front of like an Asian business person. Stone cold. Like, I can't believe this shit is happening. I mean, who doesn't want to be ninja, though? That does sound pretty cool. So listen, pal. Yeah. On our next bonus episode, I'm going to play the official Jennifer Murphy music video of I want to be ninja.

Okay, good. Where she travels to China. To be ninja? I can't wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just a little tough. By the way, update on the contest. We are one week away from announcing if we were going to do the roast of Carl and Vinny.

Great. 28 patrons away. All right. to the striking distance people next monday at nude please we could get to 28 more patrons if we get to 500 by then it's done done deal please sign up at patreon dot com slash the creep off you will not be disappointed there's a lot of great content on yes so jennifer murphy wants attention we could agree what other types of things that people accuse them of not just grabbing them and kissing them well here's a fun interesting story that he told on the howard sturd show Well, I'll tell you the funniest is that I'll go backstage before a show. Yes. And everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything else.

And, you know, no men are anywhere. And I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it. You know, I'm inspecting. I want to make sure they're like the doctor. You're like the dress. Is everyone okay? You know, they're standing there with no. Is everybody okay?

And you see these incredible looking women. And so I sort of get away with things like that. Okay. He owns the Miss USA pageant. And he's talking about just showing up in the middle of their locker room. I was waiting for the pageant doc to show. out here. I didn't feel like you were going to talk about that. Well, here's the thing. Remember when Howard defended him at first? And he goes, listen, people come on here and they tell

stories. They want to be entertaining. You know, they might misrepresent themselves a little bit and exaggerate. That changed quickly. Well, let Howard get a little bit further away from asking every woman that ever sat on her couch if she did anal. Yeah, right. And making them sit on a Sibian so they get off live on the radio. He's just like, oh, Trump was on here and I'm against him now. I'm a spokesman for women either way he's full of shit but uh i'm going to talk about one thing that is not mentioned very often that really should be okay and this is one of the creepiest things i think at least four women who competed in the miss teen u.sa beauty pageant i'm listening claim that donald trump walked into their dressing room with a contestants who as young as 15 years old that's

gross we're undressing maria bellado the former miss vermont teen usa says that trump caused a panic in the dressing room in 1997 when he barged and unannounced as the young women were changing. However, she says Trump shrugged off the intrusion, saying something along the lines of, Don't worry, ladies, I've seen it all before. Oh, Jesus. She's seen my daughters. This is like your kids, okay? Yeah.

I get it walking in at like 22 year old coeds, whatever. It's fucking, it's not, but he's an asshole. It's not a funny thing to do. And then, obviously, he did say that he grabbed women by the pussy. whatever you want Grab him by the pussy Was he serious? I don't know One woman named Kristen Anderson said in the early 1990s

He stuck her his hand up her skirt Out of nowhere A woman named Jillian Harst said she had dinner with Trump And her boyfriend George Horny Horny in 1990s How horny was he? Very In 1992 when Trump allegedly tried to put his hands between her legs

She allegedly also tried to kiss her during a tour of his Mar-a-Lago estate when she and her boyfriend were there to celebrate solidifying a business contract she tried to sue him for this in 1997 alleged that he groped her and sexually harassed her but she withdrew the suit saying as a condition of settling a separate financial dispute with him okay so he was able to wrap that one up very good now in the 1980s i was like it with the guys with all the money and all the lawyers win that's always good to hear now i really want to discuss two of these and i'm trying to make it quick in the early 1980s jessica leads was a business This woman with a paper company on a flight from the Midwest returning to New York.

Flight attendant offered her an empty seat in first class sitting next to Trump. She alleged that about 45 minutes after takeoff, Trump lifted the armrest and began touching her, grabbing her breasts and tried to put his hand up her skirt. Quote, he was like an octopus, she said. His hands were everywhere. It was an assault. Now, Trump says this was a fiction. This never happened. This never ever happened.

and he had the best defense I've ever heard for a situation like this. The best defense, Carl, apparently, is no defense. Then candidate Trump had this to say about a woman who accused him of groping her on a plane years before. Believe me, she would not be my first choice that I can tell.

Yeah, she's not hot enough. You don't know. That would not be my first choice. But I would argue... That is masterful. But I would argue he's on an airplane. You don't have that many choices. at the time and they just put her next to him yeah all right listen i wasn't there i don't know

that seems like a weird place to molest someone on an airplane with a flight attendant staring at you when you're in first class the flight attendant stares at you the entire time they're right in the front okay uh in new york magazine an article posted in june 21st 2019 and vice columnist eugene carroll accused trump of sexually assaulting her in a burged off goodman dressing room 23 years ago okay The article was an excerpt from her book. So this woman was writing a book. Trump says everything she said is a lie because she's trying to sell her books. Okay.

Well, in the online article, it included a photo of Carol, which shows Carol Donald Trump and his then wife, Ivana, Carol's then husband at this event. Trump said he never met her, never knew her, didn't know who she was. The Prince Andrew defense, yeah. Yeah, then there's the picture. Whoops. So that could have been Photoshopped. I don't know. So she says that he ran into her at the entrance to the store and he goes, hey, you're the advice lady.

And then asked her advice on buying a present. She writes, the two ended up in the lingerie department where Carol claims he asked her to try on a see-through body suit. It's a trap. She heads up in the dressy, which she alleges that Trump lunged at her, pushed her against the wall, placed his mouth on her lips, and reached under her coat dress and pulled down her tights. In her own words, she alleges the next moment, still wearing correct business attire. shirt tying suit jacket overcoat he opens the overcoat unzips his pants and forced his fingers into her private area and thrust his penis in halfway and then she somehow struggled and ran away that was what she said happened wow that's a pretty serious allegation i would say yeah she said that she could fight it in two friends at the time okay and they advised her not to do anything because he had like 400 lawyers and would ruin her life and this whole thing now trump had another great defense here Carl, great defense. Overnight, the president denied the allegation saying, quote, she's not my type.

I'm sorry. That settles it. I mean, that is a pretty fucking funny response to that. I like when he was debating with Howard whether a woman with small breasts could be a 10 or not. Yeah. He concluded that no, but you could not have small breasts and be a 10. I just want to point out, he said in 1998, could you imagine me having to deal with all the women, the shit I've done to, could you imagine?

And all these women come out, but nothing ever happened. It's unbelievable. It's amazing. It really is. Master of deflection. Then he got as far as he did. He's a fucking Sven Gali, this guy. Now, Carl, I have to ask you. Yes. Who is this man's type? What kind of woman does he want?

Wow, I think you're going to say Ivanka, but let's find out. Let's find out. Here he is on the Wendy Williams show. Yeah. Okay. Ivanka, what's the favorite thing you have in common with your father? either real estate or golf Donald's with your daughter

Well I was going to say sex But I can't relate that Why would you say sex Because you're a creep Why would he say the thing I haven't come with my daughter is sex Because he's a creep That is a creep answer That is a creep answer

Here he is on the view Carl And this clip is a little bit longer Because I'm going to allow it to be played In full context that way there could be no argument. So, Donald, all right, I'm afraid to ask this question, but what would you do Playboy put in Blanca on the cover of the magazine and she had not.

This is going to be an interesting answer. He didn't even want you to have a drink. I know it's something. It would be really disappointing. Not really. It would depend on what was inside the magazine. If she posed, it would be fine. But if they put her picture on...

It depends on what goes inside the magazine. Well, see, that's her right. That's this girl's right. People assume there'll be nude photos. Right, you do assume that would be white. But if they weren't, you wouldn't have an issue with it then. If they were using her to... I don't think Ivanka would do that inside the magazine,

although she does have a very nice figure. I've said that if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her. Stop it. Oh, it's so weird. Stop it. Don't say shit for attention. It's not cute. Yeah, that was, again.

Now, here's a quote from Rolling Stone magazine from an article that I believe. I don't remember what year it is, but here's just someone reading the quote. Yeah, she's really something. And what a beauty that one. If I weren't happily married and, you know, her father. Yeah, she's really something. And what a beauty. It is creepy the way he talks about Ivanka.

I've never heard anyone else talk about their daughter like that. Ever. I do think it's his way. Could you imagine if anybody asked if Bill Clinton responded like that to a question about Chelsea? No, because it's like, she's not my type. She is not my time. Well, it's fun that we brought up Bill Clinton here because I got to tell you, man, Donnie and Bill used to love each other. Oh, yeah.

They loved each other. Here's a great clip of him at 1997. I think Bill Clinton is terrific. I think he's done an amazing job. I think he's probably got the toughest skin I've ever seen. And I think he's a terrific guy. It's almost like big business and big government work together. Gee, I wonder why Trump was a Democrat

before he was a Republican. Makes a lot of sense. Weird. Weird. But you know what's really funny, Carl? You ass hats. You think that like, oh, we're going to fight the resist. We're going to fight them.

We are the resistance. You fucking morass. Anyway, go ahead. You were saying. Oh, thank you for saying that. You're so correct. Okay. Let's talk about their other best friend, shall we?

Okay. Jeffrey Epstein. Yes, I was hoping we'd get to this. Jeffrey Epstein. Who, I believe, didn't he kick him out of his club? Didn't Trump kick Epstein out because he was creeping on little girls? That's the story. They're not going to tell us that one.

But there is another story that apparently Epstein had cut off communication with them. And it was mad at Trump over a property in Miami that Trump outbid him for. I love what billionaires feud over. Yeah. That's one of the stories that I've heard that they had. That guy's a jerk. I wanted that mansion. Now I just have this mansion instead.

But they were friends with Epstein. Ed, here's a thing that I'm going to read to you, folks. This is about as dark as it gets. In 2016, two lawsuits were filed against Donald Trump. One was in California. The second one was in New Jersey, and I'm not sure why this happened the way it did. The woman was allowed to keep her name anonymous. She went by Jane Doe.

And I have a copy of the lawsuit, Carl. And the plaintiff in it was Donald Trump, but it alleges, and I'm going to read this to you, that... Wait, you said it was Jane Doe? I think I know her. Yeah. I think I've met her before. Mouthy broad. Hold on.

Oh, man. Hold on, Carl. Forgive me. That's why pencils have erasers. You know what? I'll just read this part. Okay. Defendant initiated, this is accusation point 10.

Defendant Trump initiated sexual content with the plaintiff at four different parties on the fourth and final sexual encounter with defendant Trump. Defendant Trump tied plaintiff to a bed, exposed himself to plaintiff, and then proceeded to forcibly rape plaintiff. During the course of this sexual attack, plaintiff loudly pled with defendant Trump to stop, but with no effect. Defendant Trump responded to plaintiff's pleas by violently striking plaintiff in the face with his open hand and screaming that he would do whatever he wants.

Immediately following the rape, defendant Trump threatened plaintiff that she were ever to reveal any of the details that her family would be physically harmed if not killed. Then defendant Epstein tagged in after she had been raped by defendant Trump. Defendant Epstein forced himself upon the plaintiff and proceeded. getting sloppy seconds? Come on. Epstein? Proceeded to rape her anally and vaginally, despite her loud pleas to stop. All of this, well, this girl was 13 years old. Anally raping children.

Now, all I'm going to say is this is all alleged anybody could file a lawsuit. Sure. Especially Jane Doe. She files a lot of lawsuits that one. This magically went away. Yeah. The defendant pulled the claim. Okay. So don't know what happened.

use your imaginations people i don't know maybe she came to her senses and realized this was a terrible thing to do to lie about someone or maybe she got paid off who the fuck knows but i just want to tell you ladies and gentlemen here's the thing about justice sometimes when you're a creep for a really long time you can be caught and i have video definitive proof of one of donald trump sexual assaults i have it on tape right here please pay attention to the screen carl this this may be the best of all oh you dirty boy you oh oh donald i thought you were a gentleman you can't say i didn't try that was your kicker yes yes that was Rudy Giuliani in drag and Donald Trump's actually assaulted him either way Donald Trump's a creep I don't care what you say the guy's a creep very good

and uh I made you sit through that so ha ha Carl that was a long presentation as usual they could have been summed up with a couple of examples. All right, well, let's talk about our current president. Do you even understand the spirit of the show, Carl? I do. I do. I'm obviously really good at it as I keep losing. I'm going to go ahead and present the Joe Biden crime family as the creepiest president.

And this is impressive because now, while the guy was vice president for eight years and there was some creepiness going on then, he's only been president for over a year. And already I have so many things to point to regarding his creepiness. Please go right ahead. And it starts off with, again, women accusing him of inappropriate behavior. So Biden went on the view. It's almost like the president sees one big boys club, huh, Carl. It's almost like they think they can get whatever they want when they're in power.

Most powerful man in the world, eh? So Biden has been in government since the United States was founded. in 1776. Yep. He's a whole guy. He's a very powerful guy. He has a lot of connections. This is him on the view explaining his inappropriate behavior and the seven women who are accusing him of such.

Listen carefully. He gives some really good points here that you're going to enjoy. Seven women accuse you of touching them without their permission. Are you sorry for what you did? Are you prepared to apologize to those women? Look, here's the deal. I am so like, example I actually thought in my head when I walked out here I mean do I know

we're friends no I but but I should be able to read better but I have never in my life done anything in approaching a woman that has been other than trying to bring so I'm used to like one of your staff was I'm used to I think it's really importantly listen whether i sit down next to somebody and it's not invited to be to sit down so that's my responsibility i have to be more more aware and it's totally legitimate so next time listen to the nose anyway i i think it's legitimate and i think it is uh and to and to any but i don't think anyone's ever said they have also said we'd like an apology well look i i'm i'm i'm really sorry if they netsy poisey wants you to say i'm sorry that i invaded your space so i invaded

your space i mean i i i'm sorry this happened um but uh but i'm not sorry in the sense that look i i was anyway well here's your opportunity right now to just say you you're you apologize you're sorry i think we can clean this up right now well by the way i i did i understand uh yeah it's it we have There's so much more work to do to figure out the one important thing I know. Well, I tell you what the deal was. I did not, that what I didn't want to do, and I didn't want to quote, invader space. I didn't want to get in the situation where this became.

And then I went when I heard all this about the, and it was legitimate, expecting a call every time the phone rang, And so I spoke to some leading women advocates in this area who saw someone newer. All right. So I think he cleared his name there. That was a pretty good presentation by our president. I believe now I believe him. I can tell he's real sorry about it. Oh, God.

Remember Tara Reid, the former Senate aide to Joe Biden? Yeah, she was about his. Oh, I thought she was talking about. terror. The one who's about as coherent as Joe Biden. A different Terry. Okay. So this terror read worked very closely with Joe Biden and she came out while he was

running for president and recalled a time when he forced her up against a wall and she says, I remember it happened all at once. His hands were on me and underneath my clothes. He then penetrated me with his fingers. I remember him saying first as he was doing it, do you want

to go somewhere else? And then him saying to me, when I pulled away, he said, come on man i heard you liked me i believe that that sounds like something that he would say for sure he sniffed his fingers and said come on man yep and then this is uh terry talking about how when she came out with this story uh apparently joe Biden went on the offensive and you know you're you're talking about trump's defense an even better defense it's a good offense i think when i came forward um you know it was amazing how um this powerful man, Joe Biden, used his campaign resources, $2.2 million, according to FEC, on a public relations

campaign to eviscerate me, to attack my character, to make it so I wasn't heard in the mainstream press. And what was heard was more attacks. It was personal attacks. So while the Democrats were outwardly saying it's safe for a woman to come forward, they were tearing apart Lucy Flores and the other brave women that came forward at that time, eight of us in total. It's like politics, Only say these things for show, Carl. $2.2 million are raising this money. People are actively like, here, take my money. And he's using it to smear victims of sexual abuse.

I need you to donate to the Joe Biden finger bang assault defense. Yeah, right. That's what you're giving money to. Oh, my God. You know what the most brilliant piece of political theater was? What's that? Was when all the women that accused Clinton, right? Like Paula Jones, everybody, who Trump called, fucking, he said they were all,

you're all ugly in the 90s. He's like, Paula Jones. She's a dog. Yeah. What the fuck, Bill? He was right. And that, broken clock. Yeah.

But he brought them all to the debate with Hillary. Well, they all sat in the front row in front of Hillary during the debate. Yes. It was ingenious. Yeah. That's a good way to make someone uncomfortable. That is the greatest piece of political theater. When all the chicks your husband banged are sitting in front of you.

It's fucking awesome. And it didn't cost $2.2 million. No, it did not. No, it did not. All right. So the other thing that Joe Biden does, aside from sexually assault women, is whisper. Have you heard this? whisper thing that he does, Vinny?

I got them $1.9 trillion relief so far. I wrote the bill on the environment. Pay them more. Why is he talking to the press like that? Why is he whispering to the press like their children? Is he a library? What's going on? Because he's an

old man and he thinks that if he whispers, people take it more seriously. Keep your voice down, Vinny. What's wrong with this guy? Okay. Quiet, quiet. That's pretty creepy. But let's not forget that what's happening right now is Joe Biden, I think this is kind of creepy. He's trying to start World War III. He's actively trying to start World War III to get a war going with Russia for some reason.

Even while the president of Ukraine... Here's your Russian propaganda here. Yeah, here's the president of Ukraine telling us to fucking cool our jets. At one point last week, you had the Ukrainian officials saying, hold on, hold on. This is, you know, you guys are getting way ahead of your skis there. and almost like they were sort of worried that Joe Biden's rhetoric was going to get them into a war that they didn't think they were going to get into otherwise. Right. Ukrainian President Zelensky has all but begged the Biden administration to stop beating the drum

about this imminent invasion. Yes. So we're causing more problems by explaining this. This is already happening. It's happened. It's not yet. Okay, but it's going to do. It definitely is going to happen. And I wonder why there's such an interest in Ukraine. Why would Joe Biden be so interested in Ukraine, Vinny. Because they're good people, Carl. Whatever happened with his family over there. And Tony Bubblinsky,

I have a bunch of clips. Something about crack in a laptop. Yeah, I don't want to get into it. But Tony Bumblelinsky, even before the laptop, shared a bunch of emails. I just want to say that name sounds made up. It does. I know. And it's funny, too. It's also a funny name. Joe Biden can't actually say it. Every time we try, it takes about as long as that

clip from the view. The Bambulins, but you know the guy. Babelitz. that he whispers. I wonder if that thing like Suttering John talks about if he's yelling, he doesn't stutter.

I wonder if whispering like the same kind of thing, he's like, I actually got a sentence out. Is that why he does that? So anyway, I guess the point is I'm not going to play all these clips, but basically what happened was

you had Hunter Biden, who's an alcoholic crackhead, who was on the board for a Ukrainian energy company making over $50,000 per month and it turns out the and this was back when Biden was vice president and uh the Ukrainian that buys a lot of crack Ukrainian prosecutors wanted to look into this company and look for corruption and so Biden really put the screws to them and said if you don't fire this prosecutor

then we're withholding a billion dollars in a U.S. loan guarantee that was during his December 19 or December 2015 trip to Kiev. And then Biden bragged about it Oh, so he was a good father He goes, I was just being a good dad To make sure his kid got a payday This is what he said I looked at them and said

I'm leaving in six hours If the prosecutor is not fired You're not getting the money Well, son of a bitch, he got fired Is what Biden bragged about later So this is corruption At the highest level Obviously, because Hunter Biden

Doesn't need to be on the board Of Burisma. He doesn't know anything about that. Anyway, let's get into what really makes him a creep. And that is him sniffing children. Now, Vidi, this is not something... I don't know why you did just play this video. Oh,

there's more than this, too. Now, this is not something that I put together. It's a parody song. It sounds fun. I should give the person credit. Maybe we can do that in post. But what I liked about it is that they put it together a really nice video compilation of him sniffing children. And even if you're just listening to this,

it's a fun song. You can watch the full video on rumble. That's right. I subscribe to us on rumble. Isn't that great? You got me to sign up for an account on there. Good. I think everybody will know will like it because, well,

it's a lot more fun. Just do whatever you want over there. It's a fucking Wild West. I like that. Here we go. Here's your clip. This was never the way I planned. Not my intention.

I got so brave behind your hair. Lost my discretion. It's not what I'm used to. You just want to sniffle- You just cannot put children near this guy He has to touch them And get real close to them Oh gosh

Busted sniffing a girl Taste of her loyal shampoo I sniffed a girl Just to try it I hope my voters don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Oh, that girl is so young.

What's he doing? Ugh. I sniffed a girl. Ew. I like it. All right. There's two and a half more minutes of this. Okay.

There's two and a more minutes of him just sniffing children in front of cameras with their parents next to them. And that's how you know it's innocent. That's how you know he doesn't even know what he's doing. He's so fucking out of it. Wow. All right. So let's talk about this story that he just told it last week. And he's talking to other politicians.

So keep in mind who the audience is. He's bragging about something he did back in the 70s when he had a post in Delaware. Spanish fly. Can you imagine? And then the woman doesn't know that the pregnancy is in her pussy. All right. This is a fun story. And I represented a middle-class district to a working-class district where there was one very wealthy neighborhood.

And I got a call one night. The woman said to me, obviously not the same persuasion as I was politically, called me and said, there's a dead dog on my lawn. And I said, yes, ma'am. I said, have you called the county? He said, yes, they're not here. And I said, well, I'll get them in the morning. She said, I want it removed now.

I pay your salary. So I went over. I picked it up. She said, I want it out of my front yard. I put it on her doorstep. But I've got much better since then. That was the most coherent story I've ever heard him told. Do you believe the story?

Well, no. But how ridiculous is that? That he's like talking about putting a dead dog on a doorstep? Like, the optics of that are not great. People like dogs. Dead dogs are pretty disturbing there, Joe. Yeah. Yeah.

What are you doing? Not a good one. This is not a joke. It's not a joke. I don't know why everyone's laughing and hooting and hollering. You know what? I didn't bring up the fact that we pulled out of Afghanistan and totally fucked up and just gave the country back to the Taliban plus all of our military weapons worth billions and

billions of dollars. I didn't talk about inflation that's as higher than it's been since 1982, 40 years. Oh boy. I didn't talk about COVID-19 and how he said. that he was going to stop the virus if he was elected president and we've only had more deaths since then. No, the worst thing, this is the kicker. The worst thing that this guy's done, the creepiest thing he's done, was make it so that we're one heartbeat away from having President Kamala Harris.

You're considered the most liberal United States senator. I somebody said that and it actually was Mike Pence on the debate stage but yeah well actually that nonpartisan gov track has rated you as the most liberal senator let's talk about man once again gave a non answer Joe Biden gave a non-answer you know people deserve a straight and is that a socialist or progressive perspective guys there's a real good chance that we have president harris this is not a joke and for that i ask you to please vote for me at the creepoff dot com creepiest u.s president our current president joe biden ladies and gentlemen i know that sounds like a great oh here we go with the rebuttal but i'm just going to point out joe biden was accused by seven women donald trump was accused by 26 yeah and he walks around with that shit on his head at thinks he looks good. That's all. Joe Biden did his head removed twice.

Yeah, but they put it back on battery each time. I don't think that's how that works. I guess. I don't know. All right, Carl, you want to do some voicemails? Let's do some voicemails. All right. The creep off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Come to the Syracuse zoo for our brand new elephant exhibit.

With enough support, one day we hope to put elephants in it. See you in Syracuse. First voicemail. Hi, Vin. Uh, your mom sounds pretty hot, bruce. You got to step up. Um, if not, hit me out. You got my number.

Shit. My mother is a very handsome woman. She looks like me with the wig. I got a voicemail that maybe relates to that. All right. Hey, Cornwall, Cazeru, Carlito. Oh, quick question, buddy. Who has more sex appeal?

Many pickups or Matt Lewinsky's dead girlfriend? Calling back. Who has more sex appeal? I don't know. It's a toss up. Could go either way. If you want my bad. He's making a case, though, people.

He's making a strong case. I look like fucking, do you remember the critic with John Lovitz? Oh, yeah, of course. I just like him dancing. Put a little horn in my belly button. It stinks. Nailed it. If you ever do that dance again,

this is what you're going to hear to be getting out of the studio as quickly as possible. I learned that when fat people are sexy, you should pay them for it. You know what's funny is that when you run on club feet, it actually does sound like this. People don't know that. All right.

This one came in from sunny Rochester. Howdy boys. This is Billy and Rockwell, calling you from the beautiful and sunny, warm city of Rochester. Rochester. A long-time listener, first-time caller, I had to call in to first congratulate you guys on a hundred episodes. And just a interesting tidbit, Vinny, I got to give you some shit about the R.D. Shawcross analysis. You forgot to mention something very important, which is he used to dump the bodies in Northampton Park in Spencerport, which is across the street. From the house that I grew up in. Oh, near my house, too. My neighbor and I, when we were kids, we used to go into North

Hempark to park all the time and look for bugs and rocks and shit. And every so often, we would find a black trash bag. And we'd be like, oh, no, already shot Krause's back. You've got to open up the bag. Oh, no. Did you ever find a half-eaten vagina just laying around? Maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud. You boys take it easy.

Love you. Call me back. Thanks for the anecdotes, sir. Yeah, I honestly going to say, you're giving me. shit because I left out an important part that he dropped bodies off somewhere close to where you used to live with you were a child. Yeah, I guess I'm the problem. Okay. Good, good. Good, good. All right, Carl, I'm going to face the music. Some people are giving me shit. Yeah. Vinnie, spinny, spinny, uh, Vinnie, you fucked up again. Uh, Arthur Shawcross is not from Rochester.

He's from Maine. That's true. His parents and him moved to Watertown, I think it was. Yeah. New York. That's where he killed the two kids. And he did a lot of murdering in Rochester, but he's not from Rochester. Yes.

As lovely Warren, what the fuck her name was. Yes, she was born in Rochester. Very good points, sir. Rochester. So Vinnie Spenny. Carl wins. Yes. Fucking fucked up.

Disqualification. It's four to four. No. No spinning in the route today. I totally agree with this guy. I never happened. Totally agree with this guy. But you know what though?

Did you ever get disqualified whenever you did bring someone? You sat here and you argued that it was okay. That's a lie. As long as the crimes. I never disqualified you. That's a lie. And you know it. Nope.

I will not stay in here as you lie about things that I have never done. Hillary Clinton. Biggest creep from Arkansas. I know. All right, moving on. Okay, that's what I thought. You're actually making your boy, like, I know. You really just like to get me worked up. All right.

Hold on. This one just came in. Carl, I cannot believe you missed the polar plunge, man. That was two consequences in one. Yeah, it was cold, but you got Vinny to stop eating for 30 minutes so we could go for a swim. It's true. He hasn't been swimming in years, man. Come on. on get it together thank you fuck you bye nailed it all right yeah any more voicemails car

no that's all i got buddy yep there was a lot this week yelling at me that arthur shot cross was from main and guess what i knew that and i put him out anyway and i won the defiant viti paulito i guess the ends justifies the means in your mind uh oh when you spin that wheel in about 15 minutes i'm gonna laugh my ass off so carl i guess that means it's time for a scum parade Do you want to hit the music? I want you to, or send me that drop, because that's my favorite one. All right. Driving children of cradip, tidal it, dittal in.

Two bag of murderers. Rage to do a rinkety-reigie. Thank you. Aeotap, abusive asshats. Yeah, the scum parade. Scum parade. Scum parade. Scum parade on the creep on.

parade oh no parade Carla and Vinnie are back Thank you Love it Fantastic Osteo County, Michigan Carl Yes

This story really hit home for me I'm sure it did A Northern Michigan man was charged with domestic assault And multiple other crimes after a police responded to a 911 call From whom news said her husband had attacked her and threw her and one of the couple's dogs. Michigan State Police responded to the scene over the weekend around 9 p.m. at the home.

When they arrived, they observed a woman holding a baby and a man wearing his underwear outside. Never a good side. I always wear my underwear outside. I just have clothing on top of it. That's true. Never a good sign when you're a cop and you pull up with this, a man and his underwear in the front lawn. I've seen the show cops too many times to think that that's the guy who's innocent. Innocent people put clothes on, sir.

innocent people put clothes on the man later identified his 30-year-old ross allen spreeman appeared drunk it was brought inside to be interviewed due to the cold temperatures the woman and her baby also went inside according to the woman her husband about drinking when she went to get a pizza for dinner what a good egg when she returned he had fallen asleep but when spreeman woke up state police said he was hungry and the pizza was cold so i have to side with screaming on this one, because it's not hard to keep pizza warm. So I actually did some research on this one, Vinny. I looked this up.

72.3% of all pizza is consumed by drunk people. And for that reason, it is the easiest food to pop in the oven and reheat. And this is why, as a person who is drunk 72.3% of the time, pizza is superior to tacos. I don't know if you knew that. Tacos could suck my dick. Tacos could suck my dick because you pass out and then you wake up and they suck. You got to eat them immediately. Yeah, they're soggy.

Pizza? You could just put the oven on 200 degrees. Keep it warm or pop it in there at 400 and warm up real quick. Pass out in the corner, have your fucking stupor. Dude, pizza is the easiest thing to keep warm. What's wrong with this woman? When he figured out that the pizza was cold, he physically assaulted his wife. He threw one of the dogs in the bathtub before grabbing a rifle from the living room and threatening to shoot her. I have to admit, they didn't say what kind of dog it was.

So I pictured it was a Chihuahua and it made me giggle. He was like, I showed you. of cotton tacos. Just thinking about a shotgun being held up to a chihuahua. Yeah, he tried to shoot the dog. The woman went into the baby's bedroom where the other dog was. Sperman allegedly won't allow the wouldn't allow the woman to leave. She called the police from her cell phone.

When the dogs began barking and Sperman left to check what was going on, his wife also left the room to go outside and meet the troopers. Spramer was eventually arrested. He's in trail charged with a lawful imprisonment, assault with a dangerous weapon and possession of a firearm well intoxicated. And domestic violence. Alcohol might not mix well with that guy. But it always mixes well with pizza.

It does. Correct. It is the perfect drunk food. Agreed. I want to point out, if people are watching this video on Rumble or YouTube, you might notice that this side of my face over here keeps changing colors.

It's because I'm next to these computer monitors. Oh, I put a screensaver on this. And he's a screen saver. I haven't seen a screen saver on a computer in 17 years. I don't know why screensavers ever existed. It's the stupidest thing ever. Just go to dark. Anything else you want to give me shit about before you have to spin that fucking wheel?

Shut your mouth. Keep going, sir. Oh, I will. Watch me. A Nevada woman was sentenced to 8 to 20 years on Friday. Okay. For this. Carl, did you watch this video already?

I sure did. This is not a fun one. This is a situation that happened on a bus. This woman with the backpack here is apparently being mouthy to everybody. So this old man is trying to get off this. and this woman is being very mouthy and yelling to people. And he says to her, hey, maybe you should be a little bit nicer to people.

Your day will be better. Or just some stupid old man unsolicited advice, Carl. Yep. At which point, she decided just to throw him right off the bus. They said that his feet did not touch the ground. It was very cartoon-looking. It actually reminded me of this. Ready, Ike. Kick the baby.

Don't kick the goddamn baby. Kick the baby. that old man just went flying to the curb and I got to say he should probably mind his own business next time well there is no next time he's dead that's right he died a month later what we saw right there was the best that man ever felt for the rest of his life look I love technology well they could have had him on morphine you don't know okay good point I love technology but you can't even push an elderly man off a boss without being captured by a camera it's kind of Orwellian don't you think yeah that's the problem that's my take the cameras you know what i've noticed that you

blame the cameras a lot for things yes it's too much we shouldn't be witnessing all these things we shouldn't be witnessing all these things all right let's go back to michigan shall we yeah michigan's fucked up this week apparently this is in eric zane's neck of the woods i've got pawpon michigan a 29 year old man deliberately killed a 64 year old woman and van buren county to engage in sex acts with her body. Investigators said. Investigators pointed to DNA evidence and the suspect's online search history

is evidence for the murder charge against Kobe Martin. Martin's 29 years old. He was arraigned on an open murder connection to the death of Melody Roar. Now, prosecutors initially charged Martin with manslaughter with an automobile, failure to stop at the scene of a crash and concealing a body. So at first, they

thought this guy just hit and run this woman. Yeah, and tried to cover up the evidence so he wouldn't get caught. So the investigation took a bit of a sinister plea where they saw his search history and used condom with his DNA very close to the seed. This guy's using condoms? Well, wouldn't you use a condom? You don't know where this dead body's been. Lock him up.

That's gross. You don't know where this dead body has been. So the evidence showed he intentionally struck the woman, took her body, engaged in sexual acts with the body. His Google searches were, how do you have sex with the dead body? and videos he looked on porn up for videos Evidence on Martin Googled all this shit after he hit her and had taken the body And so now they assume that he actually

Purposely killed her In order to have sex with her He's like, Your Honor, I would mistakenly hit a jogger It's not my fault she turned to be so hot I think that that's probably his only line in the defense here If they could prove that he fucked the corpse Yeah, I mean he definitely fuck it It was a crime of opportunity not

Yeah, so he definitely fucked the corpse but I don't know that you could prove that that was his goal all along. Yeah, he was Googling like movies of people with corpses, sex movies. Yeah? Did he come across any Hillary Clinton's movies like that? Anyway.

Oh, so it's funny. So Martin's attorney said they're still waiting for reports and more evidence from the prosecutor's office. If I were Martin, I'd be like, more evidence? No, no, we're good. We got it. I mean, yes, I look at really creepy shit on the internet. I would argue this.

I would never, if I wanted to fuck a corpse, I wouldn't hit him with a truck. You're going to fuck up the body. I also wouldn't Google it on my phone. You've got to have a very separate machine for that. You're constantly... Anyway, I don't want to give too much advice. Yeah.

Let's just give this advice. If you were thinking about running someone over with your vehicle to have sex with their body, stop it. That's good advice. I only wish we reached more people, Vinny. The world would be a better place. Well, we're almost a 500 page. Because we'd have more money. But we'd be louder.

The world will be a better place for us. Don't ever buy a truck. A Nebraska woman gave birth on a sidewalk the other day. Okay. And then abandon the baby in the frigid cold. Oh, that's not good. Police say Trinity Shakespeare, 27 is arrested Tuesday. Trinity Shakespeare, you say.

I do say. Dost thou giveth birth? And hasn't thee hath left the baby here to kicketh the bucket? Dude, I got to say. To freeze or not to freeze? This winter's tale is much ado about nothing. if you ask me maybe the baby wanted to hang out on the sidewalk

even if that's not as you like it I mean it really was a comedy of errors all as well that ends well Vinny Carl if you want to see me perform this comedy I just added a 12th night go on

go out of the story I can't handle you here right now I'm sorry too many puns I got excited I'm punter attack her name was Shakespeare I got excited okay who would have thought you were such a Shakespeare enthusiast I actually um have seen many many Shakespeare plays my my parents forced me to

while I was growing up wow yes wow I'm just forced you to you just couldn't get away yeah family vacation some some people take their kids to Disney world and they took you to Shakespeare in the park I went to Stratford Canada every year and sat through Shakespeare plays which by the way are very long and confusing just so you know how old were you and your parents did this oh probably between six and 12 maybe maybe later 13 14 can I ask you question please do you hate your mom and dad now I mean was it child abuse yes okay does that answer your question is that how you were able to withstand the cuties marathon um was that my training for it maybe interesting maybe wow your parents suck yeah it was brutal my mom made me go to church every

Sunday. Oh, well, then never mind, dude. You got me beat. Okay. Yeah. I thought I had a bad. Like once a year. You did. You did. You had it way worse. I'm going, would I rather take the once a year Shakespeare or the every Sunday church? I'm taking the Shakespeare. Really? Yeah. Once a year. Yeah, I agree. I agree. You have to cross a fucking border to another goddamn country to do it. That's a whole big hassle, but it's still. Back then. Sleeping in is pretty good on a Sunday. Back then, you were allowed to cross the border into Canada. The, uh, there wasn't a, dictatorship up there that then and you could actually go and hang out in Canada if you wanted to they always had to pat down Carl to make sure he wasn't sneaking in anything in his braces

stupid club foot braces yeah we get okay so trinity shakespeare she's arrested on a felony charge of abuse after being released from the hospital following sunday's incident they said around 10 a.m they got a phone call the police that someone said that they need to check on a woman who gave birth to a baby boy and then walked off so she fucking pop this kid out on a goddamn sidewalk and walked away yeah but i mean let's give her a second how do you cut the umbilical cord people make mistakes how do you cut the umbilical cord probably used drug paraphernalia but like i imagine like cords still hanging out for a while did she drag this baby behind her i don't know so she left the kid there and it was outside

the cold and people ran up and saw what was going on so they put like their jackets and stuff over the baby and warmed up the baby. But this baby's in critical condition and intensive care in the hospital. Well, they're saying they think the baby's going to pull through, though. Yeah. Which is amazing because it was out in the 15 degree weather for five minutes. Thank God. It still had all of its prenatal ooze on it to keep it warm. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Not what I was thinking at all. It's gross. Yeah. So either way, did you know that in Nebraska? If you don't want a kid, all you have to do is just give it to the fire department. Listen to this. Nebraska's safe haven law allows anyone to drop off an infant 30 days or younger at a hospital without prosecution.

So what they're telling me is I can kidnap a baby and then drop it off the hospital and not be prosecuted. I don't think that's what they're saying. That sounds like a fun game, doesn't it? Like that's way better than ding-dong ditch. Like, hey, let's go steal a baby and drop it off the hospital. We can't be prosecuted. Look what we got. Yeah, some photos over Facebook and shit.

Ha-ha, we got your baby. Can't be prosecuted. dropped it off yeah that's a fun game they said she was wearing a baggy winter coat was just walking around the cops found her maybe about 15 minutes after the situation just walking down the street like nothing had happened she's been in the hospital and she's been charged with abuse but holy shit this is not a joke how jaded of a human being are you that you could just shit out your kid and that fucking keep walking well she also abandoned her two other kids a couple years before oh good point good point she's a problem Yeah, she lost custody for two other children, a baby boy born in 2016 and grown in 2017, after leaving with them, leaving them with a man in August 2018. Can this guy with the condoms fucking dead corpses give her some of those condoms? Holy shit. Well, popping them out every year. This guy says, she showed up, Trinity shows up, he goes, here you go.

And he goes, listen, I'm really buzzed right now. I don't think I could take care of these kids. And she just is like, hey, it's I'll be all right. And she left. Yeah. And then he gave him to the state. He took him to the hospital. He's like, here you go.

And then he ate cold pizza. It wasn't a good night for him. Cold pizza. And things come full circle. That is this week's scum parade. Carl, thank you for doing another episode of the creep off with me. Thank you for not killing yourself, Vinnie.

And Carl, I'm thanking you for just being a good sport this time. And whatever you land on on this wheel, I hope that your consequence can be done properly and promptly. Does the wheel just live on my side of the studio now? Well, until you're fucking do something. I am legitimately, I'm rooting for knife edge chops. Yeah, you've always been rooting for that.

Well, I've really been rooting for the two-hour music thing because I'm going to fuck you up if you land on that. Yeah, you like that one too. So why don't you go ahead and read the consequences to everybody and remind them. Okay. R.D. only fan. That is that one-year subscription to Rachel Dolazal's only fans. Oh, right. Isn't that funny the Jerry Banfield pulled a Rachel Dolazar?

Yeah. Maybe you'll have to subscribe to his only fans too. All right. uh let's see what does this say murder and makeup do something nice for your co-host truly nice for the co-host yeah the semenology book you have to buy an autograph copy truck nuts are still on here my friend oh i must have fucked up well guess what truck nuts uh seven out oh two hour handcuffed music yep where i get to pick the song that you have to listen to knife edge chops shirtless knife edge chops from colin delaney pass the spin never going to happen past the spin everybody that's what we're rooting for

electric stand-up he will write a stand-up routine for you that you have to go perform god damn it that sucks dinner with a listener still sucks go to church oh what did that cut out here the last time we threw that one on there this is terrible i don't like any of these things uh you have to do a podcast series yep what my choice uh you have to drive to gary indiana yep you have to go to tom mire's restaurant you have to wear uh or put on makeup while telling a true crime story. Murder story. Yep. Murder and make-up. So there it is. Those are our consequences. Carl, I want to see both hands after you spin that wheel. I can just use my knee and stop it like this. I want to see that.

Throw my sneaker up. It just stops like real quick. All right, go ahead and spin. Here we go. God damn. I hate doing this. Spin, bitch. Round and round it goes. We're looking for yellow. We're looking for past the spin. It's coming around again. Here we go. Oh, my God. Could it be? Oh, dinner with a listener. I get to pick the listener Okay I get to pick the listener So how is this going to work

If they're local Obviously that's one thing But they won't be So what we'll do Is we'll do like a Zoom thing And I'll pay for their meal And have a son to their house It'll better be a nice meal Carl

Well yeah I want to eat a nice meal too Yep Whatever you get for you You got to get for them All right And you have to talk to them And record it the whole time

And answer whatever questions They want to ask you Ladies and gentlemen You could submit questions To whoever that listener is And I'm going to pick the listener So if you would like to be that listener to have to do with Carl.

I have an idea. Yeah. Can I be a hamburger during this and eat hamburgers and get rid of two of my consequences and one? No. Oh. Now, before we go, we have one final piece of business.

I want to ask, whoever you pick is the listener, I want them to choose whether I can be a hamburger for this call or not. Nope. I get to pick. Now, Carl, I have one last piece of business before we close the show today. Okay. You have been challenged for the Patreon. Listen, good job, dickhead.

You just knocked over the. wheel. Yep. That was a fit of rage. Carl had a fitter rage. I just lost my mind. Dinner with a listener. I can't take it. You were challenged. I can't fucking take it. Okay, yeah. You've been challenged for the

listener challenge. Oh, cool. This one came in from Harry Zoe. I challenge you, Carl Hamburger, you motherfucking hamburger. You and your little mate Grimmis there have just been talking shit about everyone. Well, you know the other ones who can talk shit, mate? Here's stuttering John talking shit about you.

Hey, Hamburger, what's up? It's stuttering John. Hey, listen, I want to tell you something. You're nothing but a club-footed chicken. Here's Dr. Steve talking shit about you. Oh, why are the New York Jets Mike Hillary Clinton are? Well, I both have bills to push around, don't you know what? And now I'm going to fucking talk shit about you.

It's one versus one. Creepiest furry. Clubfoot versus Bigfoot. This Patreon episode, let's fucking go. Carl. Nice, is that the guy who's been buying these cameos? Yes, it is. Do you accept his challenge to go head to head?

I accept his challenge for sure. All right. We will do a Patreon episode, and it will be Carl versus Harry Zoe with the creepiest furry. I love it. I love it. Can we try to schedule that for the end of the month so people can sign up this month and get that? Well, I'd like to do a scum stream with you this week. Ah, okay.

The challenge is for our first show in March. But if we're going to do one more scum stream, we're going to watch the whole I want to be ninja video. Yes. And I have a ton of great videos. And I had another great Predator Poachers video that we could watch. some video from. Yay. That sounds fun.

We are 28 patrons away. We will know next Monday at noon. When we do this show next week, we will know whether or not we made it. We got to start a pledge drive or something. We should like have boots out in the intersections, asking people to sign up for our Patreon, like the firefighters. We're very close.

28, Carl. That's all we need. And then we get the roast. Then you get the roast. So if you hear this, drop what you're doing right now. If you haven't done it yet, Patreon.com, backslash the creep off. Or just go to the site, check it out, consider it.

It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gia. That's gross. I want to be ninja. I want to chop, chop. Fuck you! I want to be ninja.

Bullshit. I started training hard. I think I could go far. I am a natural. This is not a joke. I know y'all hungry. This is a season. I know y'all hungry. May your enemies be cursed in your podcast adventures.