The Creep Off - Episode 107: Free Sex

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

This week Vinnie spins, and a new round begins. Listen as the boys go head-to-head in a no holds barred wildcard match: In the scum parade we learn about a man’s feud with a British hotel chain, we meet a couple that loved their dogs, and a demon hunting mother of a newborn.If you want to do a good thing you can donate to Dylan’s fundraiser: Dylan's Defenders (gofundme.com)

Carl, are you ready to do a creep off? I am so ready to do this creep off. It's a long time coming today. Oh, goody, goody. Oh, goody, goody. Let's start off. Let's lead off with the recap. Hey, everyone.

Tugger Dixon here, and this is your recap. There were no crimes committed by either creep. Here, let me explain. See, Vinnie's creep killed his stripper girlfriend, which is like destroying your own PS5. It's kind of shitty because others could have derived pleasure from it, but ultimately it's your own object and you can do with it as you please. Whereas the supposed victims of Carl's creep voluntarily went to Applebee's. Honestly, being given drugs that caused you not to remember your night is the best scenario here.

Whereas my bartender creep would have been Sam Malone, because after 11 fucking years of Will They Won't They with Diane, they just decide, eh, we're not going to get together. You know what? Fuck you, Sam. You should have just gotten together. She got married in like season five. What the fuck is going on here? Jesus. Anyways, Tucker, out.

How old is Tucker Dixon? In his mid-50s. I think so. Oh, Jesus. Attention parents. What you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things.

I'm going to give the people what they want. sensation, horror, shock. I'm gonna deliver the goods, because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Go-coo, go-go. I'm coming out. I've got to move my call, and all my friends are dead. Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola creepbos.

Welcome to another edition of your favorite true cry podcast, the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. I am your co-host. Ooh, I'm a big fan of him. Yeah, that's right. Carly hamburger loves me. It's my new big, I'm very strong. I pick you up and go to a pizza hut.

That's my new theme song. I love it. Yep, go to Pizza Hut. Fucking Jamarmalade. It's Vinny, Take You to Pizza Hut, Paulino, everybody. Vittie, the Pizza Pailino is what they're going to. They would call me if I had to do the consequence you did the other night. Really piss poor job, Carl.

What are you talking about? I did my consequence. I was Carl Hamburger. I was banana docs for a second. I did it all. Well, it was supposed to be. four hours because the listeners voted that's not true you you deprived our listeners that's not true well you didn't do it for you didn't do it for months and months and months and months and everybody

said you had to do more time because you didn't do your consequence for months and months and months and then i let them vote i let them decide they could have given you just an hour but they chose to give you four hours and you know what you did bosta you spit in their faces all right well first off what happens is when you put out a poll that says how many hours you had Carl to act like a hamburger, they're going to put in the highest number. Do you think I didn't know that? Right.

So what I did is the fair thing to do, when you do a poll like that, you have to throw out the highest and the lowest numbers. So you're right. I fucked up. It should have started with four hours. So I threw out four. And did it eight hours.

I threw out, what was the other one? Two. And then the average was an hour and a half. No, Carl. So I did an hour of 45. Oh, you're the worst. I will tell you this though I do have a lot of fun clips

Oh look at me I'm a cheeseburger I really got into character For sucking at a game It's not bad He actually did entertain me with that fucking voice But I will say this Why do hamburgers talk like that

I'm gonna show you some mercy It's fine you only did an hour 45 Carl You could have done less of that And I never would have been mad at you buddy Oh interesting Now all of a sudden you want to get in my good graces, huh? There's something behind me, and I don't like that. I see a wheel.

What happened last week with the voting? Uh, hold on. I'm excited. I won 63%. Yeah. Take that, you Kami bastard. I win this round five to one. Did you just call me a communist person?

I just want, do I look Canadian to you, sir? I just want five to one. No, you definitely look American to be. You couldn't look more American. That means that, A, this means three things. Tucker Dixon's plan did not work. Ha, ha, Tucker Dixon. Well, there we can agree.

It also means. Way to go, Tucker. Good job. I'm finally backing our Patreon money. That's good news. So next month you'll get paid. I'll be swimming through the coins like Scrooge McDuck. I'm looking forward to that.

And then lastly, it means... I don't know how the people at the Papa John's are going to survive. Lastly, it means that you'll be spinning the wheel of consequences today because I win this round. And it's your turn to spin the wheel of consequence. What was the last time you had to spin the wheel of consequences? I mean, you had to do that one consequence. It's been a while. Yeah, it wasn't even because I won't.

And frankly, you haven't had dinner with Heather W. you yet. So I should just refuse. But I'm a good sport and I play the game. Well, Heather W put her name out there and then she disappeared. Yeah. We haven't heard from her. So I don't know what's the deal that. Maybe she can't find Rumble. I don't know. I'm going to put money on that. She wouldn't be the person. It wouldn't be the first time. Someone just up and moved on her. She just walked into an empty apartment. It was like, where'd everybody go? Is that what I was saying. Yeah, but it's happened to her before. So this is a game, the creepoff, where Vinny and I compete for votes. We each pick the biggest creep in different categories. We present our case. Then you go to our website,

the creepoff.com and you vote for who you thought brought the biggest creep. And when one of us reaches five wins, the other one loses that's to spend the wheel of consequences, which we'll do at the end of the show. Today, we'll find out what Vinny has to do for his consequence in this romping. I'm going to do better. I will do better is when I'm going to do let's not forget on that wheel is a the other person has to spin so anything can happen today folks anything can happen just a strategically placed quarter taped to the back of the wheel yeah i'm going to check the waiting on that if that thing spins awkwardly we'll be checking that out it just stops quickly it stops on a dive literally did you just push a button all right so carl we

You're starting off, this is a brand new round. I think this is a good thing to do. Whenever we start a new round, we should start out on a wild card. Just for fucking fun. Sure. I like wild card. Yeah, I know you do. Honestly, I think you and I both go extra fucking hard when it's a wild card round.

Well, right. The gloves are off with wild card. You, I mean, you really get out of your element. You pick people like Fauci and Joe Biden and whatever Cuomo brother you happen to be railied about at your house. I have had some landscape victories. Not with Chris Cuomo, unfortunately, but his brother definitely helped me out quite a bit. Really boring. All right.

Oh, boy. That's all I have to hear how many drops you have from that. It should be fun. It should be fun. Are you ready to get this thing started? Ring that bell. All right, I am the winner, so I will go first in this wild card edition of the creep-off. I'm going to go first.

And I have chosen. a man you're familiar with this guy his name is Leonard Lake Leonard Lake is a creep Leonard Lake is a problem and he made a friend he made a friend was born in Hong Kong came over to the US on a visa

Charles Ing yes Charles NG Charles Ng and Leonard Lake they really got up to it I'm gonna call him I'm gonna go as far as the call a gruesome to some that's a pretty good way to describe these two let's go back in time

1984 to 1985, San Francisco. I'm going to picture a camera because you're driving me crazy. Go ahead. Why? What's going on? What's on my camera? What did I do? Oh, gosh.

You have OCD. You have OCD, don't you? When you get a pizza pie, does that to be perfectly symmetrical? Like, the sausage on one side is the same as the sausage on the other side? You use. And the meatballs. An equal amount of blueberries in each buffet. Do you know which time that's going to take?

An equal amount. All right. Carl, all I'm saying is that if you're hideous face is not directly in the center of that little square, I get uncomfortable. I can tell. All right, cool. So, let's go through and talk about 1984 and 1985 with this first clip. I hate you. In just 11 months between July, 1984 and June 1985, friends, neighbors, and entire families, women, men and children vanished without a trace.

In that time, 11 innocent people were later proved to have been kidnapped and killed. Many were also tortured and raped by the serial killing pair, Leonard Lake, and Charles Inge. I really love that guy whenever you bring clips in from that guy, because he sounds like the creepy documentary Robin Leach. Yes, right. He really does. He's like, and they found their fortunes in the garden outside. outside of Leonard Lake's summer home. Lifestyles of the depraved and infamous.

Lifestyles of the shitty and infamous. Yes. All right. So how do you kidnap people back in the 80s? There was no internet. So how do you find your victims? I think back then it was just ice cream worked. Well, no.

What you did was there was a thing called the newspaper. And in the newspaper, you could take out, I'm going to sound like Donald LaPrie, tiny classified ads that would, make you $35 to $40 in one newspaper could be spread over thousands of newspapers. What if I told you you could get 11 sex slaves? From your one bedroom apartment, I was pulling it 11 sex slaves on a weekly basis. I was murdering them. I was torturing them.

And yes, it was fun. All right, this is how they were doing it through answering ads in the newspaper. They would answer an ad in a paper. usually the ad was for some merchandise that they needed they would kidnap whoever was selling the merchandise take the merchandise use the woman for their sexual pleasure they would make her a slave and whoever the man was that was with her would be summarily killed all right so they got the goods they made sure take the pussy what did i do yeah they made sure to get whatever equipment they wanted to purchase, but they also got it for free and they got a sex slave through that too. Now,

did Leonard Lake ever have a chance? I don't know. His parents split up when he was very young, when he was six years old, he went to go live with his grandparents. And that probably wasn't the best environment for a young impressionable boy. Age six, Lake's parents separated and he and his siblings were sent to live with their grandparents. There, his grandmother allegedly encouraged some lewd behavior. he as a boy had been encouraged by his grandmother to take naked pictures of his sisters and I think that this gave him this fixation that meant that he was always to some extent wanted to manipulate women his grandmother wanted him to take naked photos of his sisters when he was six it would it be great if his grandmother was just completely senile and she was just like I mean listen didn't when you were a little baby Carl Hamburger. Did your parents ever take a naked picture of you in the tub?

Probably. Yeah, that was the thing that people used to do back in the day. You're right. It wasn't seen as CP. Although I don't think that's what was going on here. When she was handing him a bunch of colored pencils are going, now draw her prepubescent pussy. Like that was a little different than what you're talking about there. These people are fucked in the head. So this guy, Leonard Lake, he goes to the military, gets out of the military. He actually went over to Vietnam, which is really good for people who have already had a fucked up childhood. People who have to fucking survive that war. It's always good to go to a jungle and get shot at by people you thought you were protecting. That's fun. So after that whole ordeal, he gets married in 1975. It's a man's world, isn't it?

Amen. But his wife decides to throw him out because he's decided to start shooting amateur porn films. And she's not really cool with this. They're like a lot of weird shit going on. I serve my country. In these amateur porn films. So his wife's like, look it. I know you want to have.

have sex with strangers and film it, but not under my room. All right, so you gotta go. So he, so he gets kicked out. But he finds a second wife and the second wife like starring in these movies. So it works out very well for him. This guy is like a real creep about it too. Yeah. From what I understand.

Like he did not mind showing people what he was up to. Oh yeah. No, he was proud of there. Like people who showed pictures to their kids and be like, hey, hey, come out over to my house. And then he like closed the garage door and get out the old eight millimeter. Yeah. He's a fucking weird dude. Oh, yeah, no, he was very proud of himself and really probably shouldn't have been because he was kind of...

Can you describe him to the people what he looked like? Um, he looked like me at a nice thick beard, uh, charismatic, handsome. I don't know, am I off on this one, maybe. The kind of guy who produces amateur porn. He's got a real Carl face. You know, the word amateur makes it sound like it's somehow not as good, but that's not the case. Carl, we have some of the best porn is an amateur porn. We can all agree on this.

I agree. We have faces for an amateur show business. You know, I... Why are we making a video of this show? I don't even know. The first time... Just be audio only. I ever saw a picture of that guy.

Yeah. I thought he looked kind of like Will Ferrell in that sketch on S&L where he was like in the hot tub. Yes. Like with his ugly wife and he's like, we're going to have a swing of party.

Love her. And they're just fucking make it out and being all creepy. That's kind of lettered legs vibe. Yeah. All right. I'll get down with that. That's a good way to picture it.

So let's talk about Charles Ng. Because so far, we're talking about Wonder Lake. Charles Ing's not a part of his life yet. Well, Charles Ing was a kleptomaniac. He really liked stealing stuff. It's his favorite thing to do. And he went to the Marines. I fucking love these two.

I'm so entertained here. You tell the story. He's great. So he lied about being from Hong Kong and joined the Marines for some reason. But then he was sent to military detention because he was stealing explosives. He's like, just robbing bombs to bring him back to his place. Like, sir, you can't. That's not yours.

We need to look at your footlocker, soldier. So as he's in this military detention, he sees an ad from Leonard Lake advertising weapons for sale. I just like to think, by the way, that when he got caught, the fin of a missile was just hanging out the corner. Yeah, he's like, oh, sir, what's that in your pocket? No, it's like, what do you mean? you're talking about like who's that laying in your bed it's just a scud missile with a blanket over it with lipstick on it mascara my pretty girlfriend she's sleeping can he be quiet holy shit he was stealing like a lot of shit that guy when he was in the military yeah he's a

problem he is a problem as we'll find out more so as the story unfold so he sees this ad for weapons he's like oh i like weapons i'm gonna i'm gonna get over there so he escaped from military detention and he goes to Lake's mobile home where the FBI found him. The FBI tracks him down. Yeah, okay. Sends him to prison. And this poor guy, Lake,

he gets arrested because he has illegal firearms when they go and find him. And they were just like lovers at first sight. So fortunately, Lake doesn't do any jail time because this guy, he's got shit to do. He doesn't got time for prison. I can tell you that. So he leaves the mobile home.

And he finds a place, oh, about 150 miles west of San Francisco. I can just imagine the FBI raiding his fucking mobile home. And he's like, what do you have here? He's like, weapons. But don't worry about those. How'd you like to see me fuck, boys? Yeah. You know he's just playing that in the background.

Like, look it over like, ah? Uh, not bad, right? Oh, God. Yeah, advertising. Charlesing probably would have been in and out if Leonard Lake didn't make him watch his porthos. And Charles was just like, this is cool. Think about advertising weapons for sale on the news. And then the FBI shows up when you have illegal weapons.

Pretty fucking dumb now that I think about it. All right. So Charles Ng, he goes off to prison for escaping from the military detention. And our friend, um, Leonard, Leonard Lake, he decides to go, uh, build a bunker. On the grounds of the two acre property, Lake had built a subterranean bunker for his and his partner Ing's murderous purpose. All right. He's like, this isn't a, you could call it a subteradian bunker. I call it my love lounge. Me and Charlie could be hanging out out here. They use the term dungeon a few times, but sure, love lounge. Well, however you want to describe it, Vinny. Leonard's Love Lounge.

I don't want to yuck your yum, but I think it's a dungeon. I think it's what it is. So Inge gets out of prison. He goes back to visit with his body. They team up to start what they called the Miranda Plan. Now, this Miranda Plan is, A little bit bonkers. I'm going to try to explain what this was. Yeah. Basically, they're worried about, you know, back then we had the Cold War going on with Russia. And we thought we had nukes pointing at each other. And we all thought, like, we used to do drills in school. Like, we're going to get nuked.

And this is what you do when you get newt. So this is just inevitable back in 1984. This was inevitable. Yeah, that's when Tucker Dixon was in his mid-30s. Right. Tucker Dixon was watching Cheers. He saw the pilot for Cheers. I think that same year, very excited about it.

So the Miranda plan was, this guy Lake was going to father all of the children of the world that would rise up after nuclear Armageddon. So he was going to bring in all the chicks and impregnate them and start a whole new race of people in his bunker. And Charles Egg is like, cool, can I come? Yeah. Which is the fucking weirdest part to me. Charlesing's just like, can I watch or can I hold the camera? Like, what's the deal with that? He's like, I'm going to get sloppy seconds here.

All right. So let's talk about their first victims. On July the 25th, 1984, Lake and Ing's perverse Miranda plan was begun. The first woman they were thought to have abducted and enslaved was Deborah Dubs. The duo would in fact murder her, her husband Harvey, and their 16-month-old son, Sean. Answering an ad for video equipment, Lake and Ing showed up at their apartment in San Francisco. The pair likely killed Harvey and the son. the baby soon after.

Lake and Ing then kidnapped 33-year-old Deborah and took her back to their underground bunker. All right, so the girl comes back with them after they murder the infant and the dad. And what they do back at this, what did you call it,

the love palace? Leonard's Love Lounge. Leonard's Love Lounge. What they do their... The love bunker. Is they rape and torture her for weeks before killing her. And what's fun about this whole thing is that they were able to grab all of this photography equipment because this guy was like an amateur videographer and photographer so now they have cameras

he wasn't until he murdered that family and took their shit well no no no the guy that they murdered was oh right he was doing that on the side so they got all this really cool equipment so now they got vCRs and video cameras and they got it all set up they got a two-way mirror going into the dungeons and they can watch this shit and videotape they're just having a grand old time if this was by the way this was before twitch this would have been one the top Twitch channels on the internet. I guarantee you that. Big numbers.

Big numbers. You want to talk about super chats. Hey, if you want us to stop torturing her, we just need a $20 super chat, everybody. Get on it. If you like us to, if you like Carl to stop torturing me, please donate to. Never! So it wasn't just that they were answering ads and sealing the equipment, murdering people, and raping them. they were also just going after like regular dudes too

but their lust for blood was not confined to enslaving then murdering women for their miranda plan lake and ing also preyed on single men too with lake skipping bail and now in hiding they would randomly kill men then steal their money their driver's licenses and their identities all right so good luck charlesing

yeah i know charlesing's got to fight like hong kong guys to do that with. But anyway, he's on the lamb and he's trying to stay hidden. So they're murdering people grabbing their ID using that to, I don't know, play the loto. I don't know what they're using it for. He's in it for something. That's about right for those fucking two. It sounds about right. Leonard's buying silk robes and lubes. They're hoping to hit it big. So this guy, I don't want to say he's an idiot. But Charles Ng definitely isn't the smarter of the to in this scenario. So he decides, you know what, I can try this too.

I could put out ads in the newspaper. Around the same time, 38-year-old Donald Gilletti had answered an ad to. This time, it was posted by Charles Ng and offered free sex. The San Francisco DJ responded, and he was later found murdered in his own home. Wait, you're saying an ad for free sex didn't work out the way you had home. No shit, Sherlock! No shit! Who answers an ad for free sex?

And thinks that's gonna go, wow. What a stupid idiot. Yep. But this is like the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, too. Nothing seems right about this. You got someone to fall for it. So this is something else they did that was really fucked up because I mentioned that a lot of times they would abduct,

they would kidnap families. They'd murder the kids and the dad, and then they'd keep the mom around. as like a sex slave for a while and this is just brutal one of the things that they did that is extraordinary is before killing a woman if the woman had connections she had a job she had a husband they would have the woman in her own hand write a letter saying she was going away taking a job in another city and wouldn't be coming back and they sent it to the employer the friend the husband so that they wouldn't know that she was actually

missing and dead. This is the kind of careful planning that they did. Can I point out, if women were more responsible, this would not work. No one would think for a second just a letter means, hey, by the way, I'm starting a new life. Bye, don't look for me. See ya. Oh, no. The fed that they're like, yep, sounds like something a woman would do. Oh, she just quit her job with a letter. She left her family with a letter. Yep. Sounds about right. Oh, Sally. So that's got to suck, right? Writing that letter down. You're like, oh, you're going to murder me, aren't you like yeah obviously we are keep writing their tuts that's not a fun that's not a fun lettered after write if you ask me tell her you're leaving your family for a man with a huge

penis yeah right huge larger all caps try again i want you to really mean it this time all right so these guys get busted and they get busted in the funniest way possible charles ing steals a vice grip from a lumber store Because he just can't help himself. He just loves stealing shit. You put him in a store. He's like, ah, I'm going to steal something. We have the money, Charles.

So, sure enough... This is why I have to repopulate the world. Yeah, right. You're fucking it's up. So sure enough, the police get involved. Charles Ing flees the scene, but they grab Lake... Ro-ro. And Lake, they find in his car has a silencer on his gun.

Oh, that's his thing is a guy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. So they capture Lake, and they bring him in for questioning. Lake is prepared for this scenario, Vinnie. What investigators did not know yet was that Lake had acted before his awful secret was discovered. He did not want to go to the electric jail. And so Lake took the precaution of providing for himself cyanide pills in case he was ever captured,

which he sewed into his jacket. It's clear that Lennon Lake knew that he would kill himself when he got caught. This guy's prepared he had morning after pills. He had cyanide pills. Whatever happened that day, he was ready for it. He had a sleeve full of dildos too, ready to go. That's a fucking weirdo. So this guy gets brought in for questioning and just kills himself.

And they're like, oh, shit. They come back into the interrogation room. I'm going to get some coffee at a Coke. Would you like anything? No, there's no time to nap. Mr. Lake. What are you doing? So they go to his bunker.

and they find a lot of crazy shit going out there. Obviously, you know, there was there were 11 or 12 bodies that they found in shallow graves buried on the property. It was hard to tell how many people because they did a lot with these bodies when they were done with them. They definitely shot people. They also, in addition to burying a lot of the bodies, they chopped them up and pull them. put them in piles and burn the one of the things that the detectives up in calaveras were finding a lot of were little small bone chips that had previously been burned i believe they had a big bonfire so in some of the cases it's hard to definitely determine what the exact cause of death

was charles that is not how you start a campfire i just need some more bones for kindling Hong Kong Kinlan Yeah, so they were burning the bodies on their properties I can only imagine what that smelled like That must have been a lot of fun And then it was also found out That they were feeding people to chickens

One of the most unusual things Is that they were said to have fed Some of the remains of their victims to chickens of all things And that the fuck else are you going to do with a 16 month old And that Vinie Paulino is the secret to the Chick-fil-A sandwich. You didn't know this. I'm breaking it right here, right now.

Those chickens are fed human flesh, and that's why it's so amazing. The sandwiches, do you think it's the mayonnaise? It's not the mayonnaise. It's the chicken itself. Interesting. And he's like, should we go to Chick-fil-A right now? I got door-dash on my phone.

It'll probably be here by the time we're done with the show. So, all right, so now we know that our friend Lake has killed himself, but this guy Ng is on the run he actually makes it up to Canada somehow he makes across the border and he's living in Calgary Ing on the run

it sounds like you censored a very naughty word when you said it like that ing on the run up king on the run All right so of course in perfect Charles Ing fashion he is caught stealing canned salmon

from a supermarket and when the store clerk confronts him. He's not paying those prices, Carl. This is the guy who's wanted for being a serial killer in the United States. The FBI's all over him. Less than a month later, he's stealing canned salmon and as the store clerks

come up to him, he shoots one of them. So now he's in trouble in Canada. He's been a naughty boy in two countries now. Charles. This never would have happened if Leonard was Yeah. So what happened was Charles was stalling as much as possible because he had to go through the Canadian court system for shooting that clerk and stealing salmon. So there was that whole rigmarole and then they finally brought him into the United States. And he was given the death penalty in 1998. He's still alive because we move very slowly in this country. But thankfully Charles Ing has been brought to justice. And then they found out after the fact that Even before Leonard Lake met up with Charles Ng, he was probably up to no good.

Acting alone, Lake likely murdered his brother in early 1983. Donald Lake had disappeared in April of that year. Lake's best man, Charles Gunner, vanished in 1983 too. But the exact date he was killed is still a mystery. So this guy was offing his buddies before he met up with Ng, and they started answering ads in the newspaper. so who's your creep my creep is leonard lake and or charles end but mostly one i'll pick one leake is my creep okay that guy is a fucking creep yeah he's pretty gross but carl i got to tell you

my guy this week yeah my guy this week you got a guy this week one guy yeah real fucking problem okay legitimate fucking problem in the history book's fucking problem we're going to Columbia in 1992

if you recall what was going on at the time the cartels are running out of control they've been in the middle

of a decades long civil war oh yeah back then they were out of control well yeah I know

yeah it's true yeah they were a bit of a problem but the 90s they were yeah

Escobar was still running shit sure so a lot of people Columbia ended up homeless, Carl. The only nice thing about it is that

if you wanted to get nice shoes, all you needed was a ladder. And you could get yourself some nice pair of shoes. Anytime you needed to. They were just, you know what? If you were lucky. You could find the size. You can find the right size. If you were lucky,

and they were up there long enough, eventually the shoes would just fall. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Yep. And you got yourself a new pair of loafers. They fucking smell, but holy shit. What was this show for? It's for nobody, right? Let's talk about the homeless children in Colombia. Huge problem.

Parents died. Kids are running all over the street. In the middle of this, this is where my creep grew up. His name is Louis Garavito. Or as he would later be known, Carl, he had a great nickname. Cute nickname. You ready? Yeah.

The Beast of Columbia. Okay. And that's a country that had Pablo Escobar. Okay. Yeah. Lewis Garavito was the name. the oldest of seven brothers he had a kind of a fucked up childhood he didn't have to take naked pictures of his sisters that's good but his mother was a prostitute and his father was a drunk

and her pimp alcohol is bad you shouldn't drink alcohol so he abused the mother quite a bit and the and the siblings and it was not long until he was enlisted in the family business so to speak no god not to be a pimp though like one day some guy's just fucking his mother in front of him and's like hey can you throw that one in here for me and dad was like get in there son it'll be an extra 50 whatever the fuck it is the dad started pimping out his kid to fuck his mom though to get fucked by these guys who were fucking his mom oh okay so he's double tagging dudes with his mom ugh i don't know if that's true that baby made i know i'm gonna say but yeah his father pimped it out you're turning these into some weird uh ass to mouth thing

that i don't even want to know about well either way he got pipped out as a kid and uh then he started acting out sexually and he started violently raping his little brothers Jesus Christ Yeah Not a good thing No I don't know if his father was upset because he wasn't

Paying to fuck his brothers That is a problem Yeah he got thrown out car Those aren't good customers At age 16 he's left to fend himself He starts working as a store clerk And he took to the streets to become a vendor Who sold prayer cards

And religious icons Oh good An Norma Patriotryophilia spirit too homeless so he turned his life around great story minnie all right what do we got well he does turn his life around for a kid who was just fucking pimped out with his mother yeah he met a nice girl she had a little girl a little baby and he was like a lot of people said yeah a lot of people said that he was a very respectful nice guy i hear there's some attractive girls in columbia is this true minnie there are some

very attractive girls in columbia oh oh hey carl damn you're probably wondering why i'm pretty this guy is my creep well in 1992 started a little habit okay and what he would do is he would disguise himself as a different character and uh he would go around and find all of the little homeless boys and uh he would make friends with them and then he would take them for walks okay so pretty much like what spider man and time Square does now. He was just ahead of his time. No, no.

His costumes, like, he would dress up as a priest. Ah, yeah, yeah. A street vendor. That's kind of like a superhero in Columbia. But he would go out there and he would say to the little kids, hey, you look hungry. You guys want some food? Let me take you and get some food. And he'd take him for a long walk until they got tired.

Or if he met an older kid, the kids that he tended to meet Carl were between the ages of six and 16. Okay. Okay. Okay. And he would basically take them for a walk. Sure. Wait for them to get tired. Overpower them and tie them up. And then he would, I'm not going to read all this because I got to tell you, I can't. It's too much. But I'll just let this boring guy tell you about it. Usually, the youngster would experience protracted in decent assault and torture by having the hands, feet and buttock stabbed with a screwdriver.

Teeth were routinely knocked out and pointed items placed into the anus. The penis and testicles were also routinely amputated and shoved into the child's mouth were alive. They were burnt with a lighter, stepped on, and typically displayed injuries in the back, belly, and neck. Sometimes, they were indecently molested while their guts flowed out. Garavito's climax would come after he had beheaded the infant alive or slashed the neck as he finished. Necrophilia with the victim's corpse was also occasionally engaged in the murders. The corpses of the youngsters were all discovered entirely nude, and all showed bite marks and

traces of anal penetration. Packets of lubricant were found near the bodies, along with empty bottles of the cheapest brandy in Columbia. That's gross. Yeah, Carl. He, uh, did a lot of bad things to those kids.

The cheapest brandy? The cheapest. That's got to be some shitty-ass brandy. Columbia and brandy. Ugh. Why do they have to point that out? What kind of weird detail is that to include in this? I think it does sum him up quite nicely, though.

he's an absolute fucking monster this person sounds like a monster dude he would cut their dicks off and shove them in their mouths when he would leave the body's places yeah that's not cool yeah so he left a lot of evidence behind uh as you could hear you heard like the uh bottles of booze and empty packets of blue this episode could be hard to listen to but um you know it's columbia so the police had bigger problems you know like delivering whatever drugs pablo told them to go to deliver or a murdering or whatever person they were being told to go murder so they didn't really look hard and they would find these bodies and they'd be like eh you know they're just littering the streets they're starting to pile up and uh apparently in 1997 they piled up a little too much okay and somebody came across this car i'll take a look at your screen that was like a mass grave there minnie containing at least 25 children carl did uh did he put the numbers on the kids or did the authorities did the authorities did after the i'm rooting for number three number three let's go three oh damn it yeah how about 17 let's go

seven oh hey how many dead babies can you fit in a hole turns out at least 25 it's like they're all running a marathon all murdered in the same spot dude right at the finish line he threw all the bodies into the shallow grave it just kept piling him in there yeah and eventually like eventually the cops have to pay attention to this shit now because they find all these and they thought carl that it was like a cult that was doing this or or like a a cartel's child trafficking ring they didn't think this was one fucking dude yeah so a few months later in february 1998 the bodies of two naked children were found on a on a hillside lying next to each other and a few feet away from another body was found so they found three bodies in this one little

area all them had their hands bound and their throat slashed the murder weapon was also found nearby lube empties a pair of glasses now that's the way the news goes well searching the area around the bodies police also found a note with the address with an address hand written on it Okay. Upon further investigation, investigation, the address turned out to be Garavito's girlfriend. Okay. So when the investigators arrived at his house, he wasn't home.

His girlfriend was. She gave them access to all of his shit that was in the house. Not a good move. Not a good move. Oh, that hurts. Oh. So the cops start going through his shit. And what do they find, Carl?

What is any good seriously? killer who puts a really big numbers do oh they probably uh have like a journal detailed journals of all of his murders they always write it all down tally marks of his victims and uh he gets picked up by the police a few days later they go to his actual house they don't find him and they keep an eye out for him they have apbs whatever those are fucking worth yeah right in columbia but he gets arrested a few days later on an unrelated charge of attempted rape against a boy I mean, it sounds pretty related to me. Sounds like that's kind of like his MO.

Yeah, it's me. Well, a homeless dude saved the fucking day, dude. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he was trying to rape a fucking kid in an alley, and the homeless dude was like, and he fucking stopped him for raping him and held him up until the kid grabbed the police. The police show up. They arrest him.

No one told me there was going to be boasting. Oh, shut up, Carl. so he gets arrested and they didn't even know this was the guy until they get him to the police station so they get him in there hey there's been someone who's been raping a lot of kids around here we just caught you raping a kid are you possibly that guy well they put his name into the shit and they realized there was an APB out for him yeah but this guy's dressed up and whatever fucking get up he's out he's either a priest he's fucking dressed it as a homeless guy he's putting on fucking costumes to go do this he's like to other towns he's like roger

the alien from American dad. He's just putting on a different persona. Exactly. Every episode. He is exactly Roger the alien. Exactly correct. And he's going out and just like one day he's a blonde wig. He's like a surfer dude one day.

Hey, kids. Hey, sir, who wants to do something radical with me today, huh? Hey, you know, it'll be cool if we went for a walk. Yeah. Hey, how about we, uh, hang 10? That's, uh, taking 10 of your fingers off your hand and hanging it up. putting them in your asshole with the screwdriver so uh carl the grand total yes of uh children

that they were able to charge him with killing yeah 172 kids 172 that's impressive work even by columbia standards think you can get away with that without having legal legal ramifications you're out of your fucking mine. It's a good point, John. Yeah. You know what? Stuchos making some sense all of a sudden. So that is against the law. Yeah. He can fast. Rape and murder 172 children. Those glasses were traced back to him. They had him. He was fucking done. Sure. Now let's talk about Columbia law. Oh yeah. I'm saying that's illegal. I don't even know. What do I know if it's illegal or not? How much would you like to guess you would be put into a Colombian prison for for being found guilty of a murder, Carl.

Well, I think, um, are you talking about first degree? Sure. First degree murder. Yeah. That's got to be at least a couple weeks, right? Um, well, Carl, the answer is 12 years. Okay. All right.

12 years per murder. So this guy is found guilty of 138 of the 178 or 72 accounts that he was sentenced to. Okay. So that times 12 is like 1,815. 33 years. Oh, okay. That's a long time. And nine days. And nine days. The lengthiest sentence in Colombian history. Now, however, Carl, this is, this is the rub. Okay. The Colombian law limits imprisonment to 40 years. Interesting. And after Gravito helped police find the bodies of the victims and cooperated, there's another rule called the three fifth sentence. So if you help the cops, solve. Uh-oh. Well, there's rules that about three-fifths. It's never a good thing. I already don't like this. Yeah, man. The Columbia

three-fifths rule is not quite as fucked up as the old American one, but it's up there. It's not good. What's this? So, if he maintains his good behavior, he's eligible for parole in 2023. Well, that's retarded. That's not a good thing. This

motherfucker's going to get it out. And not only that, Carl, you're ready for this ship? You're going to like this, though. You're going to be impressed. Apparently, in prison he's very respectful of the guards sure he's very well behaved they keep him away from the other prisoners well he likes to because he's children oh does he

oh does he he's a fine adults drive dude yeah but he only takes food and drinks given to him by the staff and uh smart and I'm going to tell you right now what a fucking monster this man is okay and this is going to seal the deal for me vote for Vinny it's very simple

he is in prison studying to be a politician what what what he wants to get out of prison and start his career in activism. All right. So here's a question for you. You have Kamala Harris versus this guy. Who you voted for? Louis Gravito.

I mean, I'd have to think about it. I mean, he's running for president of Columbia. I mean, whatever. What's going to change? Yeah, it's fine. Let him go. Let him go. But he hopes to start his career in activism and helping abuse children.

Oh, man, what a creep. Oh, good one, Vinny. Oh, thank you, Carl Hamburger. Carl? Yes, Vinny. That is my creep this week. Lewis. Excellent work.

Garavito. Boy, you got a tough choice this week. You can pick whatever, what a Carl's creeps you want to. What I'm going to do is I'm going to put them both on there separately to split your vote. Leonard Lake. I'm just going to have five. You asked me and I told you. Leonard Lake is my creep.

I was just offering if you want me to do. With the side of Charles Ing. With a little side of Ing. in duck sauce at the side so but it's mostly lettered like that's the main course Carl yes sir that was a good round that's fun that's a good way to start the show off so make sure you vote this week at the creepoff we just started the show off and hopefully it's almost over start the round man oh right the next round now uh I just want to apologize to everybody I know we are a day late on recording this episode and a dollar short what might say

nailed it but here's the deal yeah yesterday we had a weird event here at the club. Wait, the Buffalo Bills is not a weird event, Vinny. Disgusting event. I had to, I was an exterminator, actually. It was fantastic. Our buddy Mark, the manager of the club.

Yeah. His nephew was diagnosed with Ewing syndrome, which is like a brain tumor. Yeah. Kids 15. Huge diage. It's not named after Patrick Ewing, as you would have liked to have hoped. Well, I still say fuck the Knicks, but these huge Bills syndrome means that you're

going to score 22 a game and it's not. least pulled out 15 boards that's the uig syndrome you're gonna get it yeah you're gonna get some rebounds don't pull this clip from hard please she's gonna get some rebounds but either way this poor kid it was the coolest thing of the world the buffalo bills had micah hide his favorite player like zoom column so we put it on the boards that was cool the big boards it was a huge thing the news was here so we couldn't record yesterday it was my fault and because we are having a big event here this sunday it is your fault but it's also the fault of the bills for being such a great stand-up guys now if you want to be a stand-up guy Carl

you can't. You're not going to be there for the event on Sunday. I'm not going to be in New York this weekend. You're still going to buy tickets though, right? Is this the-support the poor kid? Is this the pressure you're putting on me right now? You're going to support the kid. Take it out of the last month's Patreon money. Take it out of the last month's Patreon money. Go ahead and buy

whatever you want with that money. Oh, Mark's not going to like that. But yeah, it's a fucked up situation dude. The poor kids, parents had to quit their jobs to take care of them full time. It's pretty fucking bad. That does suck. So, Josh Allen has cleats that are up for... Josh Allen gave the cleats to Dylan. Oh, I can't win those from Dylan?

When you can win a Dionne Dawkins... Can I win them from Dylan? I'll tell you what. Josh Allen's cleats. You just see me ripping them out of his hands. If you buy your tickets, Carl... If you do a good thing for this fucking kid, and you buy your tickets, right?

Yeah. I will make sure to put all of your tokens and all the bills shit for you to get a chance to win it. Sounds good. All right. All right. Cool, cool. And if you want to donate anybody, donate to this, you can Venmo.

at Carlson comedy they're accepting donations for Dylan and uh it's good cause it is a good cause it's fucked up thing he's a good kid I mean I didn't know brain tumor makes you a bills fan but whatever wow wow you know like a hide was on the video boards yesterday and I was talking to him because I set up all the zoom shit and I was like so how are you going to cover Tyree kill and jalen wattle this year did you ask him that and he was like I don't think I can man he's like I think I'm going to have a pulled hamstring all season at least when we play the dolphins So you didn't actually ask him that. I don't know who's going to throw the football that far down the field.

I don't even know if Hyde needs to suit up that game. You don't need to. Do you know the last year, Tyree Kill only caught nine passes that were over 20 yards? Vinny, I would know that, but I have a policy. Ain't no fat chicken. You want to do some voicemails, Carl? Yeah, let's do it. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to by the city of Syracuse.

Come see our annual Shakespeare Festival featuring the only rendition of Romeo and Juliet to feature full penetration. See you in Syracuse. That's perfect because you know that they were like 13 years old in that play too. It's something Syracuse I gotta tell you, man. Here's a report

directly from Syracuse. Hey guys, so I'm in Syracuse for a dog show. Sorry to hear that. Holy shit, this place is fucking depressing. Those aren't dogs. Crying for no reason at all. And the only good thing I've found here

so far is Terrell Syracuse-style potato chips dash of this, dash of that. Hope there's some fucking arsenic in the shit. Anyway, Couserooze for life, as long as that last. Couserooze. Couser-Rooz are representing Syracuse. I like how he says this girlfriend

woke up crying for no reason. Yeah, that sounds about right. That's just called having the Syracuse blues. That's the Syracuse blues right there. Everybody gets used to it. So wait, Syracuse has their own potato chip style? I guess. Wow.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't sell very far past the 315 area. I was going to say, I never even heard of that. I know that they made, I know they were the ones you figured out you can put salt on potatoes. Wow. Impressive stuff, guys. We're going to name our baseball team after it. What if we, what if we cook these potatoes in a shit ton of salt? Would that taste good?

Yes. It does. Fucking losers. All right. This one came in from a guy who's mighty sad to hear I lost last week. This is Papa John. This is how I talk. Vinnie, I thought you brought in a great creep as you all.

always do. I'm a big member of the Vietnam clan. I vote for your creeps every week. I also just want to give a shout out to the Rochester area. My store has been posting record profits ever since Vinny has been getting all the Patreon money. I'm going to be going to the roast. I'm actually going to be expanding my franchises there because I cannot keep up with the demand. Ever since he's been getting that Patreon money, which business

has been gangbusters. So love you guys. Bye. Sorry to inform you, sir. You're out of luck. I want to thank Papa John for not dropping an unbob during that voicemail. We appreciate that, sir. This wasn't a business call. Yeah. This wasn't a business call.

He wasn't out of the line with investors. I think Shaq was on that call for some reason. In celebration of Carl's epic win over Vinnie Peacups, it's time to play the new favorite game of Americans. What smells worse?

What? A. In between Vinny's double tins. B, in between the rolls of his neck fat G, underneath his bitch tits B, underneath his gunt, or E, his from under cheese. Oh, God. This is very disrespectful. Oh, God, I can't even venture a guest, sir.

Sir, I'm the cleanest fat man you're ever going to meet. I have an unlimited subscription to Delta Codic Car Wash and I walk through every goddamn morning. Remind me to ask... And I go and get my coffee. Is your wife going to be at the roast? Fuck no. Come on!

I want to ask her which the smell is body part on you. Remind me about that voicemail. I'm going to guess she has an answer. In September. I'm going to guess she has an answer. All right, I've got a couple voicemails here. All right, go ahead. Hi, Carl.

This is Nick Bate. I'm calling you from prison and this is definitely how I talk. I'm horrified that you didn't include my doggy disco. in your in your covers. So here we go. Here's my... Oh, great.

Okay. Doggy disco. McBake. Let's hear it. Do the doggie disco. All right. Do the doggy disco. And you'll be feeling all right.

Tonight. I got to go. Bye, doggy. Doggy disco. All right, that's Nicknank. Thanks over and out. Bye. Nick Bate is channeling Opie for some reason.

I'm very confused on that one. That was pretty good. Good stuff. It was good stuff. You got another one? Yeah, I got one more here. Hey, this is for the creep-off. This is the day laborer suggestion guy.

I was going through the backlog on WATP, and I was just genuinely curious why hasn't Gallagher been Hall of Fame for forcing Vinny to make him listen to his poetry? in a room in shorts and a tank top that shit killed me love the show guys thank you fuck you bye did you happen to see that

when we were talking about stuttering John he was talking to that woman lose and he started doing a Stephen Wright impression but he told a Gallagher joke can I guess which one go for it why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway

correct he did that he said it was Stephen Wright he said that And I was very angry at him for mixing that up. Well, you should be angry at him. I mean, how could you be angry at a dullard? Jesus, Simpleton.

You're right. I'm not actually angry at him at all. It was actually endearing how dummy. If that is like lovable, it's like, no. It is. Yeah, exactly. Stephen Wright did. I was reading the dictionary the other day.

Turns out the zebra did it. That's a good Steve. That's a Stephen Wright joke. Last voicemail this week. Hey, Vinnie, I just listened to last year's Vietnam birthday live stream. That shit's clapped, and I would like to apply to be part of this year's. My qualifications are my voice, make of that what you will. I have almost 300 subscribers on YouTube, make of that what you will.

And I'm the guy in the email and Discord whose mom met Jared from Subway. Call me back. That is the fucking funniest. That guy sent me a picture. His mother has framed in the house to this day of her meeting Jared from subway and she looks like uh charlie's mom from its holy sonny and she's just smiling big next to that fucking pedophile monster oh no uh well either way dude i'll see your true believers get at me we might be able to make that work if you could do something funnier than your mother hanging up a

picture that's gonna be hard to beat all right uh carl you ready to do a scum parade i am can sarah get us going in this one you just don't have the song on your board is that What's going on? You never gave it to me. You don't have any of the songs. I have all the songs, except for that one, the one that I really like. I want to hear the original one. All right.

Here's the original one. The Stone Parade. These are my peeps. The Stone Parade. It's nothing for creeps. The Scum parade. I'm Paralland in a show. it's a good one that shit slaps it does jenny jingles all right carl we're going to start off in

england shall we yes did you read this whole story i sure did this just make you laugh your ass off i love this guy this guy i'm on his side on this one i bet you are yep all right a retired solicitor has waged an obsessive three-year campaign to get a refund from premier in after he was forced to cut short his stay. Why was he forced to cut short his stay? Because he was convicted of sexually abusing a choir boy and sent to prison. Oh, okay.

Stuart Eager. So he prepaid for this hotel room he no longer needs. That's correct. Huh. He has been seeking the return of 107 pounds. Yeah. He says the hotel group owes him after he was forced to cancel part of his booking at short notice

because, you know, he was sent to jail dude i get this man this isn't about the money you can sit there and be all trivial 107 pounds this is about the principle of the matter oh clearly listen you didn't have to clean the room you have to change the sheets i didn't need any towels those two nights how by paying full price i'm in prison for fucking children and they're not even charging me as much as you right so eager 73 had booked a room for six days at the branch in portsmouth on may in may 2019 for his trial at the nearby Crown Court. Now, he was found guilty and sent to prison after just four days meeting he paid for the two nights he didn't use. Rather than concentrating on his perhaps more pressing issues

who's in prison, however, this was to spark an extraordinary campaign to recover the relatively small sum. Well, it says a small sum. Do you know much candy you can buy with that kind of money, Vinny? Oh, man. Do you know how much candy he could put in his van with that kind of money? You might be able to get a pair of those slipper socks with the trends on the bottom. The story of his attempt to recover his 170 pounds emerged at this week after eager wrote to the daily telegraph outlining his complaint and hoping to solicit help in recovering the money he thought the newspaper was going to do like shame shame shame shame all you like they were to come and do gotcha journalism oh yeah for sure to the premiere inn on behalf of this child predator so some people like just

put like something shitty on yelp this guy takes it to the next level and says no no no no no i am writing to the newspaper i'm going to tattle on these people for stealing my money and then he goes He goes, I would also like to leave a classified free sex. What the fuck? And what he wrote to the newspaper is fucking astounding. It's impressive, man. I mean, we always joke about mental gymnastics. Well, we're going on the fucking trampese kids.

He told them that he had booked a stay at the premiere in for six nights, paid and full on his arrival. He was standing trial at the Crown Court following, quote, a false accusation dating back 30 years. He wrote quote, I had no idea how long the trial might go on. It lasted just four days. And the verdict did not go my way.

Jury sometimes get it wrong, you know. I was sent down for four years. He explained how he struggled to cancel the booking himself because he was in custody, but asked his solicitor to call. But since he's been told he claims, the company had no record of receiving the call.

So your loser lawyer didn't call the hotel for you? That doesn't help. Yeah. Who's that old guy over there? Uncle Paul. Uncle Paul with the creepy old guy's there. Yeah. I want my money back. It sounds to me like there's some tattletails who are screw with this guy's life. He would have had to book the hotel in the first place if it were for these tattletails. Hey, there. How about a nickel? Uh, he said it was galling enough to serve time for a crime I had not committed without Premier Inn trying to

profit from my misfortune. Eager's attempt to get sympathy fell flat, however, and instead the telegraph's response was less than a war. You disclosed that you were found guilty of a crime but chose not to elaborate further. So I read an internet search at you. You were a convicted pedophile. Now,

more than two years have passed this to book in. You have accused Premier in of profiting at your expense, yet I can't see any real evidence that it did anything wrong. The telegraph was bound by convention of keeping their correspondence identity's confidential and so only published their initials but eager tracked down the reporter uh and sent him another letter say that he may have become preoccupied by the issue but said he was unlikely to pursuing his claim anymore against premier in

in that response but he did write to her and said i thought it was bang out of order for you to print this i thought it was a bit over the top because i'm not quite sure whether it's relevant that I was a sex offender. Yeah. Ma'am. My claim was against Premier Inn in Portsmouth, rather than dig up the dirt on what is history. And he says,

I've written back to her suggesting she shouldn't believe everything she reads on the internet, like his search history. She considered my letter and took it on board, but not in the way she should have. She's there to chase up financial matters. He further complains. She thinks it's trivial. That's interesting because when she advertises her very commendable column,

she says she will investigate cases. uh from one dollar to one million dollars in my case it's worth one hundred dollars um eager was convicted at the crown court but he just he was a lawyer the guy used to be a lawyer oh he was so that's what he's fucking flipping out about he also said to this woman at the end of this letter that um i not a pedophile i was convicted of a crime and if you call me a pedophile i could sue you. Yes, he starts to threaten a defamation lawsuit. This guy is a gem. I love this guy. Not only You cannot profit. Is he all pissed off? And by the way, he's not even pissed off about the two-night he was at the hotel. Just the one night where he says that he did cancel and they didn't get the memo.

Well, I actually have audio from him. Oh, good. Yelling at the newspaper after they called him a pedophile. You, my friend, have committed a crime. Deformation. This guy is, um, he might want to just like keep things on the DL for a little while not bring so much attention to himself yeah this guy sucks that guy really really sucks

apparently in the 80s he had like an 11 year old set on his lap as he was driving a car and I guess the 11 year old learned how to drive a manual transmission that day that's pretty much the logger shirt of the story kids

that's it Carl nailed it all right the logging girth of it let's come on back to our country shall we I'm sick and tired of trying to read these British fucking slang articles. We're going to Forsyke County, North Carolina, Carl. Okay. The Forsyth County Sheriff's Office says they've arrested a man for filming

and participating sexual acts with dogs. Oh boy. That's not good. And a Stokes County woman has been charged with crimes against nature. Yeah. Deputies say that he received a tip that a Forsyth County man was using a phone messaging app to sell

videos of himself practicing in sexual acts with dogs on Monday. Deputies say they then took the steps to verify the allegations before obtaining a search warrant on Thursday. During the search warrants, deputies say they seized two dogs and place them in a protective custody. The dogs are now safely in the care of the Forsyth Humane Society.

Timothy Lewis Blackman, 42, was arrested on March 24th in charge of two counts of felony crime against nature, and he was charged with 17 additional counts of felony crime against nature. Fucking crazy. So at the end of this article,

says anyone with information. Yeah, listen. if you bought any dog fucking videos from this guy you need to contact hey this is cleanest and I got some information about this guy hey is this the four side county sheriff's office well you see he's probably seven seven and a half inches long and when he's fully erected and boy howdy if he can't fuck a dog in the ass he sure is the dog fuckingest motherfucker

I don't know what I'm doing my accent there I know where I'm going with that But when you get arrested for fucking dogs, if you just start over again after that, I would imagine. Because I don't know about you, Vitty, but I don't know what Thanksgiving looks like that next year. You know, there's enough shit that I have to talk about.

Somebody listens to the creep off. I got to explain this whole thing. But imagine someone's like, so we heard you were arrested for dog fuck. You're like, well, yeah, I mean, I was proud of it. I was putting it on the internet. Yeah. If I were him, I'd play into it.

He was like, yeah, and I stuffed the turkey. you know comedy yeah it's fun okay so comedy by the way kids if you uh did happen to purchase a video of a man in north kina fucking a dog you should contact the foresight county sheriff's office directly yeah at 336 727 2112 serious calls only there'll be plenty of questions asked when you call that number trust me plenty of questions carl this next story is little rough. Okay. A new Nevada woman is accused of attempting to smother her newborn at after a home birth. Okay. Authority said Ashley Hollingsworth, 23 was arrested after the baby was taking to Mountain View Hospital in Las Vegas. Hold on. Mountain View is a weird name for a hospital,

isn't it? No. Hey, the doctor's there shit, but you won't believe the view. It's amazing. It doesn't matter which room you're in. The majestic mountains are out there. I don't want to hear a, like, that's what you would call like a hotel or a restaurant like you're going to love the view but a hospital I just wanted to be like really good doctor's hospital not like oh you can't believe the mountain view here or or children's hospital sure because a man named mark children's put in a very gracious grant I think that a worst name would be heaven view hospital six feet below hospital she was charged with suspicion of attempted murder and child abuse according to the newspaper

Attempted murder of a newborn. You know how hard of this and not kill a newborn? This open sucks at life. Attempted murder. And I would have gotten it, too. She didn't put up a fight. Sorry. Go ahead.

The baby was born at home and she was taken to the hospital. She was born into a toilet, by the way. A little toilet baby. She was a little old toilet baby. According to the police, she had this baby at the house for more than two hours where the baby had severe. injuries to her head and was bleeding profusely. Investigators discovered that Hollingsworth had given birth in a toilet

approximately an hour before they were called to the hospital. Yeah. According to the television station, uh, that she had wrapped a blanket around the baby's head and was pushing the blanket against the baby's face to try to smother it. A great mom. Off to a good start.

You know, all you got to do is just drop it. You got, you got 18 years of this. we have to a good start don't maybe get the blanket chastity you know what

I'm just gonna guess this little baby girl's name was Bella because that's all these dummies name their kids all I could guess is you know the father's there watching her try to murder her newborn and just saying this is going great

at the hospital police said she continually talked about prophecies and other religious ideations to the nursing staff she was like hey you know that Jesus is coming back Like, listen, lady, you tried to murder your baby. Yeah. And she's just like, oh, well, you know, the B-666, all that shit.

A witness said that Hollingsworth reportedly said that there was something evil in her stomach that was trying to kill her. Can I just say, babies are never in your stomach? I don't know why this comes up so often. But I looked it up, Vinny. Even the evil ones, not in your stomach. Never in your stomach. I could have sworn to those evil ones get in there. She obviously had the same misconception.

but I listened up on Google and it's not true. Well, you learn something new every day. She sure do. That's what I'm here for. Who would have thought you'd get such good advice here at the creep up? She said that this evil baby was in her stomach and that when the baby came out, it was probably evil. And after seeing the baby's eyes and smelling what she described as an abnormal scent,

that's called placenta, honey. And the baby grunting at her. I don't know, probably trying to breathe after it was born. Well, hold on a second. Are we sure that the baby wasn't evil? I mean, we don't know. Maybe the father was Mexican. We don't know.

See, I can say that because my friend Dick Masters says is Mexican, so I can say that. It's fine. I do tell jokes. Some better than others. Fair enough. She's been out without bail, and the baby survived, but it is not doing too great.

No, not going well. Not a good start. Welcome to planet Earth, little polywog. Carl. Yes. Are you ready for a new segment I want to do? Yeah, what do you got? This week's edition of What the Fuck Canada?

Okay, I like it. In a horrifying child sex crimes case, a Gatineau Hills man is pled guilty to raping his infant daughter who almost died during the despicable acts. The man from Gracefield, Quebec told the court he was sorry for raping his baby and he did it for two months

at the end of 2021. The man in his 20s has been sentenced to 12 years What's the fuck It's interesting because Judge Katanji Brown Who you know is obviously up for Supreme Court

She doesn't practice law She waited on this And she thought at least Three months with parole after 30 days Because this is This is horrendous This is such a heinous crime I think you got this wrong

This wouldn't have been her She would have thrown the book in him 12 years probation The Inford required surgery House of us for you sir but that's where the kid oh okay just stay out of that nursery unless the baby needs you and you're the infant required surgery carl yeah like they're not built as sex objects they're they're not sex machines at that age no they are not not good for them the judge gave the typical

this is a crime that is despicable repugnant uh statement but this is what pissed me off there's a publication ban on the identity of the rapist to shield the identity of the victim right which by the way i want to point out that the newspaper in england wasn't allowed to write about who that person was either but some sleuth figured it out anyway and put it all out there yeah so it's like it's just like this legal thing we're like well they can't say who it is but i'm sure we can figure it out pretty easily so if uh you know which baby in quebec has the uh surgically uh repair vagina let us know who the father is so we can all look out for this fucking creepo um yeah there's a baby with a uh daddy stitch and so yeah he gets out of fucking jail in 12 years

and he gets to be on the sex offender registry for life but he's banned from owning weapons for 10 years after his release from custody how about you chop his dick off he raped a baby i think it's interesting that the judge even came out and they're like listen we don't want the this happens to be too harsh this is isn't about revenge. Is the U.S. the only country that locks up criminals? Is that why we have the largest prison population? Because we're like, oh, you raped a toddler?

Or no, this was a newborn? No, we just put people in jail for dumb shit. Is that what it is? A lot of it's dumb shit. But we would, this guy would not be getting 12 years in the good old U.S. of it. No, I wouldn't think so. Where's that USA chant?

Let's go. I need it. Seriously. I think that where we're from. We lock this guy up. The fucking Canada. Champlain old ladies in the streets. Yep. Awful place.

As documented here, Canada is a hellscape. Oh, man. So I guess that's this week's. All right, let's spin that wheel. It's time to spin the wheel. I've been staring at it this whole episode. I forgot about that. Actually, your fat ass has been in the way, but now I just remember that it's back there.

All right. Let's remind people, it's been a while since you've had to read these off. Let's remind people what is on the wheel of consequence. I imagine that we swapped something out since I did my Carl Hamburger thing. No, no, what was the last one we did? Okay, I'm going to put this over here so I can read it. I think the last one we did was dinner with a listener. Okay, so a podcast series of the winner's choice is still on there.

Right. Drive to Gary, Indiana, still on there. Horrible. Tom Myers Restaurant, fuck that. Murder and makeup video. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a fun one. Yeah. Rachel Dolazal only fans.

You have to subscribe for your gift. Is that still going? I wonder if that's still going. I don't know, but you can pick something equally. horrendous. I got it. Okay. She's great. Do something truly nice for your co-host. I love that one. No, thank you. Oh, that's the one I'm rooting for.

Seamanology. That's where we have to buy the autographed semenology book. Yes. And then be photographed. Reading it. Reading it. Uh, the two-hour handcuffed music marathon. No fucking thank you. Oh, yeah. I haven't even thought about if you got that one, what I'd make you listen to.

Interesting. Interesting. Nice edge chops from Colin Delaney. Okay. That's when you're rooting for. Pass the spin. That's what I'm rooting for. Pass the spin is, uh, the Cardiff Electric stand-up challenge where you have to perform a stand-up act created by Mr. Cardiff Electric.

Oh, boy. Real jokes only Cardiff. Dinner with a listener. Oh, that's still on there? Yeah. Okay. Because that people like that one and they think it's funny. Uh, go to church.

Okay. Those are our choices this time. All right. Let's get that thing in the camera. camera's view. Hold on a second. Let's get the, let's get to spin in here. We're excited.

People are excited to find out what Vinny's consequence is going to be. Oh my gosh. I forget how fun it is to be on this side of it. When I'm on the other side of it, it's like the opposite of fun. Now it's like watching other people at the dentist. Now it's fun. Okay. All right.

Let's do it. Fucking heat your guts. All right. Here we go. And we're spinning around and around. Hands up. So you can't. me cheating.

Wow, you got other things. Yeah, we got other things back there. We're going to worry about. Jesus Christ. All right. So the wheel is slowing down. We are going to be at Seminology. Seaminology is a book that was written about how to make cocktails using a guy's spunk.

And for some reason, this is for sale on Amazon. And there's an autograph copy. It's like a hundred bucks. copy i'm pretty sure it hasn't sold all right so you have to drink how many of these cocktails that have my spunk in that even to read this book how many how many how many cocktails you have to chug in this video that we make i think that's what we decided i'm not drinking that's not what we decided i think so uh i think the cow photographer has to jerk off and do a shot glass that sounds terrible at the live show that you have to drink it uh carl what did you just what are you

doing over there oh i'm just looking at it skateboard again. Damn you. What's that, Carl? Mill Bukaki, that's all. It's my thing. Oh, man. That just made me feel a little bit better.

You got a sound bite for my hour and 45 minutes then. I got some good ones. I like this one the best. Oh, good one, Vinny. That was my new favorite. Nice. And I also like this one too. Oh, I'm a big fan of his.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, that is this week's edition of the creep off. make sure you vote at the creepoff.com. Follow us, support us on Patreon. Patreon.com backslash creep off. If you can, we appreciate it. We try to get you some bonus episodes. We're going to try to do one. How's next week, Soundcaro for a scum stream?

Let's do it. All right. And next week, you're going to be in New York. I will. Do you want to do the show without me next week? I always want to do the show without you. I wanted to do the show without you just now. All right.

Well, it's episode 101. Oh, I got to find a co-host. So we can reach out to someone who does episode. So it's 108 and see if he wants to be on board. Maybe I already did. Yeah? Maybe I have a new co-host. We'll see what happens.

Okay, cool. That won't just destroy this whole thing. Do you have a time? Is it going to be regular time Monday at noon Eastern? I believe it's going to be 6 p.m. Eastern. 6 p.m. Eastern on Monday. 6 p.m. Eastern next Monday. On Rumble.

You can watch it live. Live on the Rumble, I believe, yes. I will be just getting done with the Anthony Kumia show at that time. Make sure you plug the creep off because I'm sure you're going to remember to do that. I will, of course. of course I will you can't get me to shut up about the creeper are you kidding me it's all I talk about

non-stop so if you want to reach out to the show you can send us an email the creepop pot at gmail.com or you can leave us a voicemail 58537180108 make sure you rate and review it helps us out quite a bit if you do

and we'll get to hear our good friend Dorkels read the reviews again soon hopefully oh good so make sure you leave them reviews and until next week remember it's nice to be important

It's more important to be nice. And if you want to do something nice for doing, Venmo at Carlson Comedy. Thank you. Good bye. Goodbye. You're a stupid dumbass. Uh-oh, retort alert. Retort alert, glass.

Oh, good one, baby. Really boring. What is this garbage? How do they have a podcast? This is bullshit. Don't get it wrong. I made me big, I'm very strong. I can pick you up and go to a pizza hug.

Thanks a lot, Carl.