The Creep Off - Episode 112: Shame on Me

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

This week Karl and Vinnie are joined by our pal Shuli Egar to discover who is the biggest creep from Nashville: In the scum parade we meet a Florida man who claims to be Jesus, a creepy British undertaker and we learn about a good old-fashioned case of jailhouse justice.For all things Shuli visit Shalomshuli.com

Hey everyone, it's Tucker Dixon, and last week we discussed the blessings we know as mothers. Carl's mother could see nothing but beauty in her daughters, though she was a bit of a tiger mom with her sons with the surgical training and all. And in a surprise to no one, Vinnie's mother couldn't stop herself from eating just absolutely everything in sight. As for my previous mother, would have to be Mother Jones. She was a union advocate and a community organizer in the early 1900s. Now she has a website that's just full of articles that fucking suck. Anyways, that's all I got for this week. Tucker out

Attention parents What you're about to see is not suitable for kids Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups You might want to walk away now If you ain't any of these type of things I'm going to give the people what they want Sensation

Horror shock I'm going to deliver the goods Because I'm alive And I'm not backing down Cuckoo Coo Coo Coo! I don't like suits. edition of your favorite true crime podcast the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps i'm your host my name is viny the tower of power too sweet to be sour the people's champion

phidney palino and joining me as always is stupid carl hey what's happening minnie paulino good to see you buddy carol we finally brought a guest back to the creep off it's been way too long since we've allowed someone to compete and play this game with us yeah usually it's when i'm out of town but yeah i'm here we've been sitting on this guest guest score of four for a very long time and we're going to see this guy next week in nashville and we figured it'd be fun to have them on so ladies and gentlemen from the shooley show it's shuley eager hey shooley all right gentlemen coming up on fantasy stage

fold it up whip it out stick it in tips on the hips buddies for the huddies mahogany you're on fantasy mahogany this is going to be a fun weekend coming up Oh, it's going to be a bit of a problem. But we're going to be in Nashville next week for WATP Live, right, Carl? That's correct. May 14th, WATP Live.com. You can still get tickets.

And, of course, the comedy show that night, never, never. That's right. Who are these comics featuring yours truly? And Mr. Shulie, we're going to be killing it. Yeah, I'll be doing that stripper bit for 24 minutes. So get your tickets. Who are these comics.com is where you can get your tickets to the stand-up show. I'm going to dance awkwardly behind him as he I'm not going to do any material I'm just going to ask people for stuttering John questions and I'll do a stuttering John Q and A oh perfect yes yeah that'll kill yeah yeah I'm just going to do stuttering John's entire set I'm not going to ask it it is the target audience if there was ever a time for stuttering John's material that would be it I feel like we need to transcribe that all those DC interviews and and somehow convince a community

community college to put on a performance stuttering john goes to dc you know you can't possibly transcribe it it's all sideways it'd be written like chinese man i've been laughing so hard at that episode of who are these podcasts from yesterday if you just listen to the creep off and you don't listen to watp i doubt you exist but if you are out there please go listen to it you'll laugh really hard at that guy it's pretty good yeah but we people may think i'm bullshitting but there were times the stern show where shit was going on where in my head i'm like holy shit this is amazing and i had that feeling again the other day recording that episode with kumia just you know the fucking legend that he is just throwing out and i've known for years how quick he is i've heard you know tons and tons of

hours of of uh radio these he's done and you still you still walk away going this fucking guy is so good so i loved it. Well, my favorite line of his was the fizzle reel, John Zeeland Committee with the Fizzle reel. I was crying. Line of the year. Yeah, so basically, Centering John finally had his D.C. trip. Failed miserably worse than any of us could have expected. And it was great to have Shulie and Anthony Kumia. Kaya was on as well. But you guys both have personal experiences with Stuttering John. So it's great to have both of you guys out there reviewing that. Well, let's get back to the creep off gentlemen let's get back to the task at hand we had a contest last week and we were trying to figure out who is the creepiest mom for mother's day that's right

shooley i don't know if you heard but this woman that i chose her name was adi and she ate her babies brains three weeks old she like murdered the baby and ate its brains to what's not that part what's oddie is she jewish that's what's crazy to me no she is uh latino uh okay because i'm pretty sure jew brain brains are not kosher right uh so i I don't think any Jews will eat them. But wow, good for her. Way to go ahead of the pack there. Yeah.

I thought I was unsinkable. I thought I had a very, very good creep. And Carl, who was your creep again? Oh, my creep was Teresa Knorr. Yeah. They made a movie about her. Teresa Nore was 67% of the vote. Oh, yeah, baby.

Oh, another victory. I want to thank Carl's Cousarroo. for coming out and voting. I ignited my base and we got the vote out. Well, I guess congratulations. We're tied in the round, two to two. Cause. Cause a roo.

Cause a roo. Well, I think we're both fucked because the guest column is sitting at four and shooley is going to play the game with us this week. Okay. This week, our category, we're going to Nashville. So, biggest creep from Nashville. Love it. Aren't we good at picking categories, gentlemen?

I'm very proud of ourselves. Every now and again, we actually have a good reason for having a category. And then every other week it's just Alaska. Yeah. It's just, we'll pick a state, whatever it is if I can pick a state. Idaho, doesn't matter. We could do a whole year on just Alaska, I think. Yeah.

So, Shui, Carl generally goes first because he won. Would you like to go second or third? I'll go third. I want to close this puppy out. All right, my man. All right, let's do it. I am bringing you a man known as. as the fast food killer.

Vinnie, you might even vote for me. That's my nickname. I've got to call that for years. You might even vote for me this week. I have a feeling because Paul Dennis Reed is a bad dude. And it started off. Now, his dad was an alcoholic. His parents got divorced when he was three. And so his paternal grandmother decided to raise him.

And there were some signs. There were some signs early on. This guy might be a bad dude. Young Paul spends lots. of time with his paternal grandmother, who he terrorizes by putting tax in her food, spraying her with a water hose, and barricading her in her room. At one point, he attempted to set his grandmother on fire while she was asleep in her bed. Pretty good prank. Yeah, these are all just kid games. Hide the tax and grandma. Didn't BAM do that on the jackass? Yeah, as long as there's

a film crew in there. It's hilarious. Hey, this is Bam, we're going to light Phil on fine. Hey, April, did you know there's tax in that sandwich? He was sent to one of these homes for children who can't get along real well in society. And when he got out, he decided to go find his family. By the time he's a teenager, neither of his parents want him around. When Paul's 16, he attempts to sexually assault both his mother and his sister, so his mother kicks him out of the house. He goes back to live with his father, but there he attempts to sexually assault his other sister. He ends up getting kicked out of that house and ends up being arrested for auto theft.

I don't know why these women aren't saying yes to this. He's getting turned down a lot. He tried to rape his own mother. He tried to rape his mom and his sister. And they're like, you can't do this. So he goes to live with his dad tries to rape his other sister. He's not a good learner. Oh, boy.

That's not very good. So after that, he turned to a life of crime. He robbed four restaurants in a hardware store. He was arrested for this and given. 20 years, but he did not serve 20 years. Reed is sentenced to 20 years behind bars for robbing four restaurants and a hardware store. Paul was released after only serving seven years. Several criminal justice professionals and experts told as many people as they could.

He's a danger to society. He's going to hurt somebody else, but it didn't matter. He did his seven years. The prisons were too crowded. It was time to put Paul on the streets. So, Paul. I mean, how many times is he going to try to rape his own mom, guys? Come on.

That's true. Eventually, you learn. It's not going to work. Try to rape my mom twice. Shame on me. So he decides he's going to like live a normal wife and he gets his CDO and he's a truck driver. Well, just a month or two into that career, he gets into a horrible accident. And from that accident is awarded a bunch of money.

He takes that money to get plastic surgery and move to Nashville. to become a country singing star. Nobody in Nashville is going to know I try to rape my mama. I have a fresh star. He's a fresh star, and he's changed his name to Justin Parks. I called this song that I tried to rate my mama blues.

He's going to be the next Gerth Brooks. I tried to find some of his music. It's not readily available on my Spotify player. Apparently, he didn't end up making it big. Oh, he must have signed a title. Or he boycotted Spotify with Neil Young. And he just took all his stuff off.

He might be made. of Joe Rogan. That's true. It's a good point. So he then realizes that he's not making a lot of money on this music career. So he has to get a job at this restaurant called Shonies. Oh, gross. Yeah, he's like a dishwasher or something at Shonies. And there's this other place, Captain Dees is another restaurant in Nashville. Captain Dees is a seafood joint, isn't it? It is. It's like Long John Silver's, but not. was I looking for random information about restaurants

from you right now, Vinnie? I know you know it. It's primal. It's primal. He can't shut it off. Let's talk about Shoney's gentlemen. Shall we talk about Shonis? He's like, get the number seven,

never get the number six. It is a rip-off. I can't believe they charge $6.95 for that. Vinny, ham cubes. Pro, con. Where's your stance on? Depends on who's bringing them to the buffet that day.

Okay. Okay. I respect it. I think that's a pro. I think that's a thumbs up. If I'm reading it's always a pro If it's all Scott Steiner Then I'm a pro

So he goes to this place Captain Dees He says I want an application I'm at Shoney's got a Shoney's apron on I need a change of pace I want to work here They say come back in the morning The manager's going to be there So he comes back first thing in the morning

They're not even open yet Because you know seafood breakfast Not a thing right So he comes in there There's just two employees there There's a 25 year old father of three Who's the manager And a 16 year old girl

works there part-time. He convinces them that he's giving them an application. They let him in the door. And he then robs the place. So he pulls out a gun, he robs the place. Now, remember, he was arrested for four armed robberies and restaurants back in Texas. He's learned from this. He shouldn't, don't leave any survivors.

That's the problem that you have when you're robbing places of the $2,000 of ever kind of money they have laying around. He should have killed his mom and his sisters, they would never would have said anything. He should have. If he had the chance. The robbery should be like a plane crash. It should end the same way. Nobody's walking away from it.

Well, that is his philosophy on this. And an insurance pay out to the survivors. So he has them open the safe. He takes the money. Then he brings them into the freezer or the cooler in the back and executes both of them. Now, this 16-year-old girl, Sarah, she was shot twice, but she's not dead. What do you do in this situation? Vinny, we've been doing this show a couple years now.

What do you do in this situation? Sarah should play dead. Yes. What you want? What to do is lay there until he leaves. She does not do this. She is a dummy. Suddenly, there's a noise coming from the cooler.

The killer returns and finds Sarah Jackson struggling to pull herself up. He shoots her two more times, then flees the scene with a restaurant's security tapes in hand. Oh, boy. Whoopsie. You showed him, Sarah. She thought she was a superhero. Way to struggle for life, Dubby. You ever heard of an army crawl, dude?

I mean, what the fuck? so could you imagine fucking dying in a captain d's restaurant like that's the last day of your life oh my gosh on a morning shift too you're there to open with your boss i'm not even supposed to be here today so of course uh this is a crime scene and they want to get to the bottom of who this was there wasn't all that much in the way of evidence left behind except for the application on the floor but no fingerprints itself this criminal this killer was a bit more sophisticated than your average armed robber. More than $7,000 has been stolen,

including $250 in coins. So they remember that this guy came in the night before with this Shoney's apron. So they get a composite sketch and they show it to the employees at Shoney's. I like to think that maybe he just came back like, hey, I hear you have a management position open. Right.

I picture the sketch is just the apron. It's not him. And they're like, is this what it look like? They're like, yeah, I recognize that. Yeah, that's our apron, dude, yeah. Law enforcement shows the sketch to workers at the nearby Shonys. They ask, is this guy match any description? They say, yeah, we've got a guy that works your name, Paul Reed.

Interesting enough, though, Paul Reed had called in to Shoney's restaurant on the morning of the 16th and claiming that he had car trouble and couldn't make it to the restaurant. So the detectives then take Paul Reed's name. They run it through. NCIC National Crime Identification Check comes back negative hits. The investigation stalls. Oh, so they know who it is. They have positively identified this person

and there's nothing they can do. Good job, law enforcement. Our hands are tied guys. Like what does that even mean? Like their hands were tied when they were killed. What does that mean? They looked at it and said, oh, we don't see any records so we're not even to bother going and talking or questioning this man.

Oh, so this guy does have a criminal record. He spent seven years in prison. I don't know if I feel safe going to Nashville now. Holy shit. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. This is very incompetent. That's the equivalent to somebody like somebody running up to an EMT going, this man needs mouth to mouth in the empty, going,

ew, that's gay. That's gay. What am I going to kiss a guy? Yeah, that's good. So this guy that decides he's going to go to McDonald's next. And McDonald's is closing up for the night. There's three employees all on their way out. He pulls out a gun, brings them all back inside,

does the same thing he did. Let's go to the safe. Let's take the money. Then he executes all of them. Except for this one guy, Jose Gonzalez, who was not executed because you know Jose yeah it's pretty popular these parts of the of the country so uh his gun jams uh this uh paul reeds gun jams and so jose is spared and he decides to fight back mr gonzalez is about to be executed and all of a sudden the weapon itself

misfires Jose stood up and started fighting with the gunman the gunman was resourceful he picked up a knife and he started stabbing Jose 17 times times, actually, almost slicing off one of his fingers. Jose eventually went down and pretended he was dead. There you go, Jose. Jose, very bueno, my amigo. You know, Carl, if that dude pulled a gun, even if it jammed, I would still play dead. I would just follow.

You'd make the noise. You'd like a wrestler slapped at his leg. You would make the, you go, bam. Dude, I'd be like building. What a good shot. I'd be like building seven. I would just crumble to the ground an hour later

Meanwhile, it's like He's like, okay, this is my chance I'm going to fight this guy I'm going to survive And you start a fight right next to the knives Like yeah, right, whoops Fuck, damn Couldn't have started this by the tartar sauce

Right place, wrong time Yeah, for sure So anyway, this guy once again He thinks he's killed all of them And he takes all the money And if you think about like robbing a fast food restaurant, they're not going to have a ton of money there, you know, it's mostly just I mean, if you're hitting a Chick-fil-A in Huntsville, you, okay, you got enough for future.

I stand corrected. Yes, but a McDonald's and, you know, and a shonies, a show, you may have more money in your pocket coming into that fucking shonies than you're going to have coming out. Well, yeah, a chick-fil-A in Alabama is going to have more money than any dispensary in Colorado. You're going to have more cash on hand. That's really the right strategy. Yeah.

$2,300, mostly in coins, is missing. This guy is stealing chain jackpot. You hear him coming four blocks away. It's like Santa Claus walking up the street. Just patrol the coin stars in the area. Wait for this guy to get his Red Lobster gift certificate or whatever you're going to get. I need rolls for these bloody quarters so I can deposit them. Thanks.

So obviously they link these. two crimes together. They say, okay, we think it's probably the same person. But again, he's done a nice job. He hasn't left any evidence. You mean these cops figured that out? Yeah, somebody did. Somebody figured it out.

So then he's hitting up a Baskin-Robbins with a 21-year-old mother and a 16-year-old girl who are working there. And this time, because of the issue he had with our buddy Jose, he decides to just take them with him. Oh. So when they then look at this Baskin-Robbins. and this robbery. All the money has gone out of the safe,

but the two purses are still there and the women are missing. And this is the worst part of the whole thing, Vinnie. The victim's purses were found at the store which had surprisingly been left untouched. A mopping bucket were found in the customer area and the freezer was left wide open.

Another crime for any ice cream lovers out there. Cookie balls! Come on. Leave it with a freezer open to its bad form. How could you, you monster? He's a monster. Born in a barn. What's wrong with you?

All right. So then, I guess $1,200 was stolen from this restaurant. I got a ton of change. You think you could get away with that without having legal ramifications? You're out of your fucking mind. You belt a freezer full ice cream. You're going to pay. Also, a Baskin Robbins is never replaced.

I'm like, ooh, if I only had the kind of money that they have back and that's safe, That's going to really change my life. I need some B&R, buddy. All right, so these women are missing, and the next day they are found. Investigators arrive and examine the body. It's a woman. Her hands have been bound behind her back

with a baskin robin's apron. They searched the woods nearby for clues. Approximately 100 feet away is a second victim. The woman in the woods is Michelle Mace. The one in the water is Angela Holmes. Both victims suffered long and slow deaths. They were stabbed multiple times, and their throats sliced.

So this guy's a real creep. Doesn't he have a gun? Why is he stabbing people now? Yeah, now he's like stabbing people and then die slowly. But guess what? A knife never jams, Vinny.

Okay. That's a good point. That's probably why. I guess I'm the idiot again. The stupid gun, unpredictable. Okay. All right.

I'm the problem again. So far, so far this guy, Paul Reed, has not been all that fun or funny to talk about, aside from the grandmother thing. until now he decides

because he got fired from Shonies because he chucked a plate at a co-worker's head and it's smashed all over the place that'll do it that's the one thing Shonies doesn't stand for it says it right there in the training video would it be funny if he threw the plate

because of the knife jammed yeah they're like hey can you not do can you not be odd job from James Bond at this fucking job and kill someone

so he got fired back in February he decides you know what instead of like robbing and murdering people for $1,200 at a time in quarters. Maybe I should just get my job back. So he goes to his old boss's house to ask for his job back. Please tell me he holds up

a radio like John Cusack. Or does he kidnap him and bring him into his RV like Uncle Eddie and from National Ample? Yes. This is much more accurate, Shulah. I think that's what he was watching when he came up with this plan. So it's

funny because this guy's a 45-year guy, his kids are there at home with them and they're videotaping. There's videotaped footage of him walking into this guy's door to ask for his job back. I was just wondering if you could see it in your heart to bring me back on. I'm sorry about throwing that plate

but you see my knife jammed and I'm very sorry for the whole situation. Yeah, so it's not going to happen. 45 year old Mitch Roberts who manages a Shoney's restaurant in Nashville is home with his family. His son is recording this video when an unexpected visitor shows up at the front door.

former employee, and his name is Paul Reed. Roberts had fired Reed back on February 27th, which was 11 days after the Captain D's murders. Now, Reed is on his doorstep, begging for his old job back. I guess I explained all of that before I played that clip, but you like that music, though, right? That's great. Okay. Real fucking snappy. Let's see what happens next.

Roberts walks reed. I forget. Yeah, okay. I do like to say things twice to make sure I get my point of trust. I'm like, I never heard that before. Roberts walks Reed to his car Paul Reed pulled a gun on him pulled handcuffs out of his pocket

instructed Mitchell to put them on and said you're coming with me Mitch runs back to his front door Reed follows only now he's armed with a knife at the porch Paul rushes his former boss but Roberts fights back

he pushes Paul Reed slams the door on his face yells to his wife to get a gun despite the fact he doesn't own a firearm he's just trying to use this obviously as a sloth intimidation tactic. The tactic works.

Reed runs back to his car and speeds off. All right. This guy's like, this guy's a groundlings graduate. Clearly, he's, he's going, load the Winchester. You know, he's getting specific. And she's going, what? And he goes, just yes, and just yes, and. We talked about this.

Are we doing party courts? No, no. You know, the other thing to me is, and I'm no expert. I had a job in Burger King for a little while and that was pretty much my only fast food experience.

This approach is not going to get your job back. No. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but I think you're coming at this the wrong way. Yeah. So apparently he felt bad about it, Chulay, because he was thinking

the same thing that you were where he's going, I'm trying to get my job back and now I'm like handcuffing this guy threatening to kidnap him. He's not going to want to work with me every day when I'm doing that. So he decides to call him up and apologize.

Minutes later, Mitch Roberts is in his living room, recounting the crazy events to law enforcement when something even crazier happens. The phone rings. Who is it? Paul Reed. He wants to apologize. Roberts, at the officer's request, coaxes Reed to return to the house. When Mr. Reed will rise at the location, he is taken down into custody immediately.

What an idiot. You know what? come back over i have a present for you you're going to love it's now there's going to be a big x in my front yard would you please stand on it i picture the manager pick it up his phone and and his first line is it used to be sebastian's opening a line where he just goes oh the week i had today huh i mean it's just to call the guy but we get listen i rolled my ankle i'm not myself today. I am truly sorry, Mitch.

I know, but I know we can get past this. I'm a good worker. And I still have my apron. I still have my apron. Take two. Take two. Let's start fresh. Let's wipe the slate clean.

Let's pretend the whole handcuff and stabbing thing didn't happen. Let's get take two. This guy's like the Rupert puppet puppet of fast food. So now he's taken into custody, but the only thing they have him on is this attempted kidnapping. So they might not be able to hold him. hold him very long, but they know this is the guy, this is the guy

from the other incidents at the fast food restaurants. Something tells me he's going to help them figure that out. Well, they do get a search warrant and they search his home. Investigator's search reads apartment. They find four one gallon jugs containing more than $1,000

in coins. You're a stupid dumbass. Fucking idiot with his stupid coins. The coins got him caught. No one else is a thousand dollars in coins in their house. What are you doing? In his defense, he thought they were marked like bills. So he didn't want to rush to the bank right away. I just won't make sure there were no dappax in there.

I mean, there's literally change machines at every supermarket that you just dump it in the fucking thing. Or surely, I'm going to offer this. Don't steal the change. You don't need it. It's not helpful. Wage you down and get you caught. I personally have a bills only policy. That's just me with accepting payment, bills only, please.

So, obviously he is then arrested and convicted of these counts. He tries to pretend he's insane. He tells them that the government's watching him every day and he tries to do all this shit. They don't buy it. And he is sentenced to death. By the final trial, Reid had received seven death sentences for his crimes. Yep. Seven.

This just happens to be the most death sentences ever handed out to a single person. Wow, it sounds like a winning creep to me. Fucking good at math, Tennessee. Way to go. Bring them back. That's month. Number three. Bring them back. All right. This is the last thing that I want to play because this is what pisses me off the most. And I hope this isn't still the policy. As a result of Reed Spree, several fast food chains in the Nashville area began closing earlier. That sucks.

wow dude when i when i need some taco bell yeah it's one thing it's one thing when pop eyes runs out of chicken sure it's another thing when you're shutting me down because you're worried you're gonna get your throat slit in the freezer jesus i mean didn't he go there a breakfast time too isn't this just completely stupid and wrong right right by the way you're never going to get honored like first responders did during covid with this kind of bullshit this little ticket attack bulls. Oh, we're scared. We're going to get killed. Let's shut down. Yeah, tell it to the guy who works at the 7-11. He's got like six bull of wounds in him already. He's still there. So that is my

creepiest person in Nashville. Paul Dennis Reed, who by the way, died of natural cause it. The age of 56 was never actually put to death. Well, God got him. But God got him. All right. We were just about to start that first of seven death penalties and the fucking guy Gets COVID and dies Unbelievable They just yell at the body That's only one

That's only one Guys got One of the guards Like that's not fair Hey Wake up Can you imagine They get the defibrillator out

They're bringing them back to life Just to kill him again All right one more time One more time He probably came back Just enough to go Fuck you And then went back down again

Well I guess it's my turn now Carl Yeah Okay Well today we're gonna go Check into the year 2017 I'm going to show you, gentlemen, a picture of my creep today. All right. There he is.

You want to guess the profession by the picture. Yes, I will. I'm going to say he's a professional suit wearer. I've never seen someone wear a suit so well. Used car salesman or car salesman. Close. That, my friends, is Reverend Matthew Dennis Patterson. He goes by Brother Denny to all of his congregation at the Nolensville Road Baptist Church in National Tennessee.

All right, you win, Vinnie. All right. What do you got, Shulie? he served there as pastor for 17 years gentlemen brother deddy was married to sister amy he had four children Caleb Joshua grace and emily who was four years old at the time of what we are going to be discussing today now let me tell you just a little bit about this church at this gentleman pastor because i'm sure you are fascinated and interested to know they are a baptist fundamentalist church okay which means we don't play around bullshit around here we are a traditional church

They have on their website, I went and looked at it today. Tell me if this is not the worst sales pitch you've ever heard for anything. Timeless or trendy, question mark? Malls are trendy. Church should feel timeless. With the forceful current of constant change sweep it over every part of our lives, people have the need to connect with something enduring and firm. We believe that Christ designed the church to fulfill that need by representing an eternal kingdom

and ageless truth with no need to imitate the culture. We want you to know there's still a church that feels like church. It won't feel like a rock concert or a comedy club or a motivational seminar. It won't be fun or interesting

or entertaining in any single way. It's a timeless. Pure torture. Yeah. I like that they're taking shots at other approaches to religion and at the same time like probably going

will suck. Yeah. You're not going to get anything of that here. You know when you read about the medieval times and you're like, I just wish I was alive at that time period. Well, no, you can enjoy it, just like they did. Only show you get is every Sunday morning. You get one a week.

But it's not old-fashioned as it 50 years ago. It's timeless. As in 2,000 years ago. Whoa. Yeah. Some deep shit. That's when Shulis people killed the Lord. That's right.

And pretended dinosaurs existed or whatever other bullshit. you planted those bones surely you know yeah yeah uh so one fact fun fact i learned about daddy not a fan of the gays or trans people i'm sure not no not even a little bit that's been frowned upon by the church usually when they've sucked a bunch of cock they're they end up not being a fan of it you know what i mean like that's usually they go hand in hand because they know from experience no thanks to be a fan of i'm full yeah He was a vocal opponent of an anti-discrimination bill in Nashville that was being considered by the city council.

The measures were designed to protect jobs and housing for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. Patterson brought church members to come protest and told the local papers, we want to make sure we keep the pressure on and let them know that any time they bring this up, we'll be down here to oppose it. Wow. That's a special kind of fucking asses. right like we agree on that that's a special kind of asshole so i would show you like i had a great time because his twitter is still up before i get into what he did but i just had a good old time on

this guy's twitter let's start with this one this one is a picture of a rainbow okay and it says saw this a moment ago it has always been and always will be a sign of god's promise not a symbol of man's sin all right so like even a broken clock is right twice a day i agree with that okay that makes sense okay great how about this one thankful I could stop by and visit one of our junior churches today

it's a blessing to impact these young hearts and minds oh I don't like this out of that look at that room full of fresh face youngsters just a whole room fucking kids alone with him and his camera the word impact under his name with these kids I'm not I'm not like this it's written on the back wall

also I want to point out that Every single one of these kids dress is better than suttering John when he's trying to be professional. You mean just tell me none of these kids' parents stuffed a sweatshirt out under the suit? No, no, you don't put sweatshirts under the suit. John, that's not what you do. So they're also very into reaching out to people. Look at this one. There's a picture of this woman.

What the fuck do you think is happening here? There's a picture of a woman with a blanket on her head sitting in front of the side to the church. Okay. It says, God has literally brought people for many nations, tribes and tongues to our doorstep. pray for us this week as we tell them of Jesus. There's literally a woman sitting on the ground and he took a picture of her like she was a prop. It's, yeah, it's not even a good photo.

If you're going to do something like that, at least get her like focused. I mean, not even in focus. He's just trying to shoot propaganda, which is wild. But they did this really nice little boys choir here. I'll show you this picture.

How many tweets are we going to read here? I'm assuming this guy did something pretty gnarly and we're reading his tweets and criticizing them. So far, all this guy's done is waste my time today. Yeah. Look at all these little kids. The creep is Vinnie. He's just anti-religion over here.

He's like, you know what? I'm not even that big into Jesus. Like, okay, we got it. Vinny, flip over all the cards. How many kids did he fuck? Let's go. Mr. Shulay, I just want to show you a fun one. Jesus Christ.

This is a good one. You're going to like this one. It says, please pray for a Jewish man who has been visiting our church. He just called the office and asked me to come behind to discuss salvation. Oh, please. No Jews doing that. Well, hold on. Hold on, guys.

He followed that up just a little bit later. Rejoicing that David, a Jewish man who has been visiting our church just trusted in Jesus Christ our Savior. Bullshit. What? I'm calling shenanigans on that tweet. I love how he's basically just going. We got one. Like, he's trying to brag, like weird brags.

So. Here's the thing. This guy... No one told me there was going to be boasting. This guy was going to pay a lot of money by the church. He had a parsonage, which is a free house to live in right next door to the church. They paid all of his bills. This guy had everything fucking made.

He's a respected member of this community. That's your definition of having everything made. Having it fucking made where you're just basically mind-fucking people all week long and then you go back to the house that they're paying for it for you to live in. Yeah, that's pretty fucking good. He's got four kids, a nagging wife. And just because he doesn't have a mortgage payment, you're like, this guy's got the most amazing life ever.

I wouldn't trade any amount of my life for this. This seems terrible. By the way, I had friends that had a house that was paid for. They just had to live with this autistic guy who jerked off 24 hours a day. So they did not ever once say, this is the life. And we got it made. I got to say, though, that's kind of like moving into an apartment that has a strange smell after a while. You just get used to it.

It's true. You just get used to Barry. I would go visit and he would open the door and he goes hi what's your name and I go it's shooley and he goes hi shooley I'm ben when's your birthday and I go uh October 8th and 74 and he goes shulie october 8 74 and he takes out his hand to shake my hand and from a back room I hear my friend go elbows only motherfucker elbows only and the guy and then the guy went like this he put his elbow out. Oh, I'm sorry.

We touched elbows. And I go, what's up with that? He goes, motherfucker won't stop jerking off all day long. So I'm guessing he's not washing his hands in between. So you're talking to you're visiting your buddy and this guy is in the next room going, surely, 1974. Just. Yeah.

You're in this bank bank now. Yeah, yeah. I'll take it. At least I'm wanted. Okay. I'm going to shorten this up, guys. Here we go. September 24.

Are you 20 more tweets, Minnie? I was tickled by these. On September 24th, 2017, Brother Denny abruptly resigns. Says he wants to spend more time with his family, and within three days, he has relocated his entire family to Pittsburgh. That's never good.

That's never a move up. Yeah. Again, free house, fuck it all. We're gone. We're in Pittsburgh now. So the next day, a group of families come to the church and they start making some allegations

and they said that brother Denny did some weird stuff to their little boys now I gotta tell you this is so creepy and weird to me I don't even it's like silly but he would get these kids

into his office he would make them strip down to their underwear and then he would have them sit on his face. He had all these little boys just coming into his office in their little tiny whitties, their little underwrews, and sitting on his face.

Now this is a fundamentalist church. They don't speak in tongues. Well, he did when they were sitting on his face. I believe he became a Pentecostal. He's just fucking little boys don't know how to wipe. And this guy's got these little fuckers sitting on his face.

Eight victims come forward. By the way, grown men don't know how to wipe. Yeah, right. Exactly. I'm not thinking my chances on any age. Yeah, exactly. I got a good idea. Asses out of faces,

except for the brass rail stables this Saturday night in Nashville, Tennessee. See you all there. Either way, this guy's gone. He's in another state. He's just hoping everybody fucking leaves him alone and everything blows over. cops get involved because the church went to a lawyer and said hey should we do anything about this

and like yeah you fucking idiots you should you should contact the police so they go to you sure i like it i like there you know there was one lawyer it goes it's just one kid let's see let's see you know you still was in there just going oh bitch bitch bitch he's gone now it's fine it's a spark it's not a full-fledged fire you guys still want traditional church or what do you guys want here Right. This was the promise. If I had to start a case for every time one of these stories comes out, just let's wait and hear the whole thing.

So all the people of the church tell the cops, we had no idea he was doing this. We had no idea. Nobody had any idea. Nobody thought it was weird when he added this to the hymn book. Sit on my face and tell me that you love me. I sit on your face and turn you. I love you. A traditional hymns, you know?

Good stuff. It's a good one. Eight victims come forward and say they were blessed by him from 1996 to 2017. Cops investigate this for six months. Go to Pittsburgh, drag him back. Now, he did a lot more shit, but it did not come out because he pled guilty to keep everything quiet. Okay. We know that this guy wanted dirty little boy's bottoms in his face and that he would go preach

of people and tell them how to live their lives and that the gays are wrong. And also, if he found a boy that he really liked. he would exclaim, What an asshole! Now you're saying eight cases. He ends up from when to when, from 96. 19 to 2017.

So now, okay. It ends up, there's 10 kids, but there was multiple incidents with all these kids. Hold on. Let's hear Shulio. I think he's going to make a good point here.

Let's hear this out. Here's what I'm saying. And, and, you know, I feel terrible this happened to any kid. Sure. You know, this should not. Even one is too.

many in my book yeah one is too many carl but let's focus on the word here that is kid okay when you are driving yourself to go sit on your pastor's face you aren't really a victim anymore that's kind of just the way i look at it when you're ordering an uber and your phone and paying your mortgage on the way to sit on your pastor his face making a lot of good points yeah but again one's too many listen man i'm just gonna say this guy has little boys coming into his office to sit on his face all the time and he's going around trying to convert jews tell the game they're wrong i mean what are we doing here who is this fucking really important here yeah can i just explain this guy is a creep this is creepy

disgusting i can't even believe you guys aren't even go with me on this but either way he pled guilty to 10 counts, which means there ended up being 10 kids that they found. Now, this church brought in a bunch of children, a ton of kids that spoke different languages. So they don't know how many victims he has. And in fact, I think this guy could have been to Jeffrey Epstein. I want you to see one last tweet, okay? All right. This is an important one.

Look at this tweet. I found a pilot. Now I just need a private jet. Yeah, in hindsight. You know, you might want to just delete all of your tweets. just a case. He looks like he's holding this child like a puppet. That's pretty funny. Yeah, I just want to point

that out. He's got, Jesus may be his co-pilot, but little Webster there is ride the throttle, all right? Now, did you hide the identity of that child? Or did Twitter do that? I did that. I did that just for the sake of decent. Hey, you're a class actor. You really are, way to do. Yeah. All right, I'm done.

I'm fucking done with both of you. Go ahead, surely. All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's about that time. Now, listen. Uh, you know, this is my first time doing your show. It's my first time hearing about the show. It's really I've, I've, I've, I've, uh, promoting it up on WATP. No, I, I, I, I shut out. As soon as you guys stop talking about anything that interests me, I shut the show off immediately.

I've been avoiding this as long as possible. I'll tell you what's easy is just, uh, turning off his show. It's way easier. Fuck you. But I will say this, knowing you guys, uh, and knowing the amount of work you guys put I knew there would be homework to the show. And already it upsets me out the gate. Carl knows I, you know, my skill is putting in as little effort as possible and hitting it out the park.

Surely, not only do I know that, but every single listener to WATP knows that. Yes, this is well documented. And the more you nerds cry about it, the less I'm going to do because here's, here's, let me tell you about skill, okay? Doing homework for a week and pulling clips on a guy who's fucking, he's, he's, home plate and every kid's sitting on them that that's fine but you show up and not know a goddamn thing about what you're talking about and still make it work now that that is where the magic is so yes i sent you a name for the creep off all right once i heard super nerd carl go first over here i go all right this guy's out i'm going to my backup and my backup ladies and gentlemen

is a name, a gentleman by the name of Nicholas Newhart. Whoa, he's throwing us a curveball. This is got to be the first time that someone's doing the old switcheroo on us here. That's right. He's from Nashville. Okay. And he was arrested in Nashville. Now, did he slaughter women?

Did he molest children? No. He did something much creepier. And you know it's creepy because of where I'm going to read you the first line of this article. according to global news the suspect was drinking at Kid Rock's bar Oh, uh-uh, all right

Shilly with the W. Okay. God damn! So here we go. I knew I put too much effort this morning. Here we go. This is insert any kid rock song you want right now

because that's what's playing at the bar. You can't pick anything else, right? And they say here that Mr. Newhart. away anything maybe we'll put that bitch shell crow song and here's on do it so according to reports mr newhart was blocking uh an emergency exit in kid rocks bar and security had asked him nicely to not block this emergency exit you would imagine the exits are very busy in that place and i love that they know it's a kid rock bar and at any point this could turn into a great white

show you know what i mean so we got to keep these exits clear because we don't know what the owner of this place is the craziest one here forget that right right exactly the name on the building is the problem yeah who knows where this could go so they ask him nicely to move and he does not accept this he is not a fan of it he gets very loud he gets belligerent and then security goes to step in and physically remove him at which point nicholas newhart takes out his colostomy bag and starts swinging it over his head using it as a weapon like a fucking morning star like a fucking yes yes like brave heart he's sitting there with a colostomy bag going you've bled with him now bleed with me that's gross did he do like michael angelo from the ninja turtles with his dunches then yell cowabunga

And let me tell you something Let me tell you what they don't teach you At security school What to do when a guy starts swinging A colostomy bag like a lasso You can watch Roadhouse three times in a row And you're still not going to know What to do in that situation

That that image in my head With Bob And he's just fucking Just going By the way this happens In an ICP concert No one even blinks This is just normal activity

The security guards open their mouths. They go, hey, Johnny's here again. They know him by name. Johnny's seatbags. The whole image in my mind is just a masterpiece of a story. It's a masterpiece of an arrest. Can I get that guy to go to dinner with Carl and Nashville? Call me crazy, but I think he's going to be either at the live show or the comedy show.

I think this guy, he's, yeah, no seven death penalties for him. Another funny line is they go, uh, they made a mayor. They go, uh, Newhart wasn't very successful in his efforts. Officers were unfazed and managed to subdue him quickly. So now you look like a real idiot where, where now you're laying their face down next to your colostomy bag and they're cuffing you up and you, and you go, man, we started on such the right foot, but we ended on such a bad one. So look, I know you guys are into murder and maiming and killing, but to me, that's a

fucking, that's Nashville. That's Nashville. Kid Rock Bar, colostomy bag lasso, swinging over your head, USA, USA, USA. And that's the way the news goes. All right. And last thing I will say. Yeah. You guys are one point away from fucking losing.

And so no matter what you fuckers think of my preparation skills, no matter what you think of my Jewiness, I know you guys got a drinking game on that goddamn discord where I mentioned Jews and people start drinking, that's fine. But vote for these, vote for mine. So these fuckers lose and we can have a nice challenge in Nashville and everybody can be happy. Thank you. Wow. Or he drops the mic. I don't think you realize. Well done.

What a polarizing figure, Mr. Shulie is. Well done. We'll see what happens here. We'll see what happens here. But great, Creeb, Shulie. Thank you. Congressman Peoples.

One more question. I'm impressed. I thought that was a brilliant presentation. Very good. Carl, are you ready for some voicemails? I am. You have a sponsor this week? We do.

They're brought to us by our sponsor the City of Syracuse. The Creepoff voicemail segment is brought to by the City of Syracuse. We are happy to announce that we are now Carl's exclusive source of income. See you in Syracuse. So I'll explain something real quick what I spent my morning doing was taking down Patreon episodes of Who Are These Podcasts that were at DMCA strike by our friends

that are John Melendez. You know the folks over at Syracuse sent us a second theme for this week. If you want to hear it. The Creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Even we won't hire John Melendez for comedy. See you in Syracuse. That's great because they've hired me. So for them not to hire him, that's a real snack.

Oh, Syracuse, I know. Vinny even performs in Syracuse. Oh, yeah. And ironically, they hire everyone and nobody enjoys it. The audience, the comics. A comedian who goes, oh, I love the funny boat in Syracuse. Oh, yeah. Every time you're a comfortable, they go, they go, I'm doing it.

D.C. I'm doing Boston. Syracuse. I'm coming back. By the way, I just want to point something out. This will all be cut out in posts. There's no way video's going to be badmouting a comedy club and leaving it in the show. You want to bet? I'll be shocked. All right. It's staying in, buddy, just because you said that. I know. That's why I did that just to call you out. So let's start off with some voicemails. Here we go. Hey, fellas. My name's Jesse. I'm your only listener from Arkansas. I just had an idea for the will of consequences. The idea is, you have to fly to L.A., live stream yourself going into the Pickwick Pub,

and introducing yourself to stuttering John. How about it? I think it would be kind of hilarious. You know, maybe you'll punch you in the face. Be especially funny if he punches all of Carl's bean teeth out of his face. But anyway, thank you. What's that funny about that? Your bean teeth is funny.

You know what, though? There's a problem with that, Jesse. The issue could be, like, what if he's not there? Right. He hangs out this place called Scott One Yard yet now. And what if he's not there? Where else is he going to be? He'd be in a different bar is the only place other place he'd be. I mean, just look for bars within walking distance of a Home Depot. Well, that's the other thing. You think the Scotland Yard is far away? No, it's not. No. The reason why I bring this up, Shulie, is because yesterday, I was thinking about how. how he hangs out of a place called Scotland Yard, which rhymes with Tard. And we had all these parody songs, and nobody connected those dots. So now we've got to do a new contest, start all over again.

Hey, Carl, what if we made this really fucking vile? And you have to go to the pickwick pub, ask them which bar stools John always sits in. And you have to go sniff the stool. I like what you came up with. You'd be able to find which stool it is because it's yellow on the ceiling above it. It's just a stink spark on the ceiling. but I don't know buddy I don't know if that's going to work yeah I'm my thing yeah I think I think I think we need to reach out on the down low to management at Pickwood all right have have a good

conversation with them tell them hey I have a huge podcast got tons of numbers I'd love to advertise for your for your bar okay and and offer them free commercials and go all I ask for in return is you put this cardboard cut out of me up at the bar and send him a picture of me. I don't give you. It doesn't have to be you. Just anything that would trigger him. Like we somehow got to infiltrate his life. You know what I mean? No, I like the idea of it happening slowly. Like, all of a sudden, there's just like an eight by ten, like in the bathroom or something. And then like the next day, there's a poster on the wall for WATP. And then a month later, the next WATP live show from the Pickwick Pub. Right. But it's going to be

one of those things where like, because he's so wet-brained, he won't even realize it until like a month in he's like wait what's going on here everything in here is all my enemies is that a poster of of a guy holding my decapitated head in the mention he would never put together that guy kind of looks like me he's an answer that he'd walk out yeah is that my brother's suit framed hanging on the wall that would be an amazing piece of memorabilia wow that fucking suit All right, next voice mail. Here we go. Hey, oh.

So, Benny, you know what you gave me a little spark. So I wrote a song. It's not finished. Needs some work, and I'm not a singer. So voice of an angel with the face of a victim. Making out with a troll with a mouth full of stones. And the unfortunate Jenny got the scars of. the sentry now we only get to know

the voice of her soul as far as I got fuck it's beautiful it's beautiful good work my friend yeah stop selling yourself short buddy you're both songwriter and performing yes Carl this message

you should move to Nashville and make a career get a colostomy bag and move that to Nashville get plastic surgery too Carl this one's for you um hey Carl this is the band wean oh hey wean both of us cool this is what we sound like yeah uh dream police is the only acceptable version of the scum parade song all the rest of them suck okay i'm not saying you know

don't make a new one i'm just saying you have never surpassed the first one that's true me tonight is garbage oh that's not true i love the mac the knife one let me see is it this one Yeah, okay. All right, just for you, sir. That's the one we'll use today. Uh, I disagree. Are we going to the segment? No.

Oh, okay. But we got a couple more. Here we go. This is another suggestion for the wheel of consequences that actually might work. Hey, I'm just going through the back catalogs of WATP and the creep off. Uh, episode 249 at 2705. Paul says he would never, ever, ever watch expecting Amy. So that sounds like a good wheel of consequences item.

I think instead of like we bring back to Creeps and Rose's consequence where I had to do the Bachelor podcast, but you have to do a podcast about expecting Amy. What is expecting Amy? I don't even know what they're talking about. It's Amy Schumer's show about her pregnancy. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Okay, no. No, we're not doing that.

You have to watch every episode of the do a companion podcast, every episode. Fuck you. That's not happening. Or you have to watch one of my streams where I play Call of Duty. All right. No. No, we're not. These are too much, guys.

I didn't sign up for this. We got a lot of good voice bills this week. Here's another interesting suggestion. Hey, this is my idea for To Catch a Predator reboot Creepoff edition. As soon as they walk in, the decoy says, hey, I have to tell you something. think I'm actually 18 or 19 are you still interested and if he says yes we see what happens but if he walks out and leaves that's when the cops get him many witty um that's so so we're arresting people for turning down 18 year old blessing yeah yeah if he shows he's like this is false

advertising and storms out off that's when you get pounded by the cops that's that's a guy that's a guy a bongload as he was dialing and by the time he exhaled and started talking the idea just it crossed over lanes are you dude that's brilliant though that's like the netflix reboot of to catch a predator that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard in my life so if uh there's a girl who looks like she's 14 but she says she's 18 it's a yes all day long i i don't know why you think that they're going to be like oh well screw this i got a great idea guys check this out, guy walks in, D.Coy shows up. She's like, listen, I'm 24, but I'm really hungry.

You want to grab a bite to eat? And if he's like, yeah, let's go eat, then we see what happens, dude. I love that this guy is just, he's pitching a porn. Yeah, exactly. We see where it goes, dude. I think when these guys who are trying to hook up with 13-year-old girls in internet, we should reward them with some 18-year-old hot pussy. I think that's the right way to call politics.

Oh, no, we make them ugly. We make them ugly. They look like shooley. Yeah. They look, all of them look like shooly. But 18 though, you said? All right.

I'm actually 47 a chance of cigarette. See what you do. Right. And you're like, are you going to do better than this? That's what you've got to ask yourself. Gentlemen, are you ready for a scum parade? I'm ready for a scum parade. Carl, I guess hit the music.

These are my peeps The Scum parade It's nothing for creeps The Scum parade I'm parolandit show I like that too But I got to tighten that one up

Telling you that for years Now let's start down in Florida Shall we? A 39-year-old man is accused of forcibly kissing a minor on the lips in Florida locker room Well, can we hear the whole story, please? Sure.

Let me give you a little. Already with the finger point. We don't know. Well, let me also add that this man also claims he used to be the son of God. James Trevor Byron Thompson was arrested Monday after allegedly cornering a boy in a crunch fitness center talking about love, being a vegan, and asking for a hug. He also told the victim that he was Jesus Christ in another life. According to a Pinellas County arrest affidavit, the report said the victim, tried walking past the much larger suspect.

The guy's 6'2, 240 pounds. The kid was stopped several times from leaving the locker room. Police, A witness, saw Thompson engaging his alleged victim but couldn't confirm the man had blocked him from passing. But apparently he grabbed this kid and slipped him the tug. Could you imagine if this really was Jesus reincarnated and it turns out Jesus is a pedophile? Like, the entire Catholic church is like, see? Like, they're totally vindicated overnight.

Yeah. And it's like, no, I'm telling you, Jesus is. at crunch. He works out. He's there Wednesdays and Thursdays. And it's like, and it just goes to show how hard it is to have a good conversation in a gym. You know, you just, it's so tough.

This guy, what did he open up with? He was like something ridiculous he's talking. And it's just, you know, eventually you run out of shit to talk about and you jam your tongue down to some kids throat. Jim etiquette was very different in ancient Judea. Yes. That's also true. Yes. So, yeah.

A Facebook page belonging to James Trevor Byron Thompson, who goes by the nickname Tree Bear, makes claims that he is Jesus in my last life. And he has a website, kingtreebear.com. Oh, okay. And I've already bored you guys enough with enough details. But if you want to have a good time, that site's fucking crazy. You'll enjoy it. Crazier than a guy with four and a half names. That's it.

That's it. A father, this is a fun story. guys remember how we always tell you you don't don't fuck with kids ever because there's going to be consequences there will always be consequences yeah a father who abused his own baby so badly his legs had to be amputated was held hostage in his cell and beaten with tins of tuna by two fellow inmates these two guys were like oh you did what to this kid and they just grabbed their socks a couple cans of tuna. And they've always said,

I've always said they should do a shark tank show with just prisoners as the guy's pitching because they, they are so inventive and so resourceful. And it's like, you know, you name it. They'll find a way to kill you with it. Surely, I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, could these guys have just like

ass raped this guy to send a message? Sure, easily. I mean, that's the thing that you do sometimes. These guys are like, let's stick outside of the box on this. How else? Hey, we're going to have dinner soon. We've got to open these cans of tuna. I don't see, I don't see you can't open her anywhere.

Oh, look. Look at his forehead. Not only are you suffering a brutally painful and slow death, but then you reek of tuna all the time. It's just like, and that lukewarm room temperature tuna juice? Yeah, kill me, rape me, please. He had 12 teeth knocked out after two prisoners attacked him with socks full of tuna tins. So he's serving a 10-year term for child cruelty.

Good band name, by the way. Tuna Tins. Just throwing that out there. Yeah, Carl's going to steal that. What was your band I was listening to the other day? Popped up on my iTunes, Carl. Dark Nemesis, yeah. Yeah, that was another one of Carl's bands

that I don't think he talks about much. No, but you can find that on Spotify wherever you get music because we had some good tunes. That was a fun one. We had one. It was Pit Bull with AIDS. Never really took off. we tried it so he beat the shit out of his kid when he was just four months old and his

flat in kent uh the kid suffered severe injuries including hip dislocation and head trauma which forced surgeons to have to amputate both legs at the knee all right so i read that sentence and i was like i did too can we get a second opinion on this so because of a hip dislocation they had to take up both of his legs below the knee why i think he just had bad parents who were there for the get to the side it was like the dad of speed arrest and he's like just do what you got to do This kid's got a severe concussion. We're going to have to take all his toes off. Like what?

All right. Okay. So also some bloodletting. We'll probably do some of that too. Okay. You're the doctor. I don't know how you guys feel about it, but it's all the rage leeches. Let me sit down.

We're going to go over there. Man, his hip is really fucked up. I'm thinking a lobotomy for this kid is probably the right way to go. We're going to have to take him out back. Say your goodbyes. He just has a cold. I don't know what's going on here. Can you prescribe some medicine?

Or what are we doing? So both of these guys, Michael Stewart and Nathan Adjors, they had their sentences extended for this, but they had him in there for two hours and just beat him mercilessly. I liked that the report includes the damage that was done to the tunic cans. Yes.

That's what I needed to know. But yeah, but how about like banged up with the tuna cans after this? Oh, they were bagged up pretty bad. They're banged up, but you could still buy them. It still scans the QR code. Oh, no, we still put them in the recycle bit afterwards. Don't get me wrong.

Oh, no. What, we got to waste food on top of everything else? You guys want to take a stop over in Thailand? Hold on a second. I want to talk about this kid beating the shit out of this four-month-old toddler. I think if we do something that awful, you should be forced to live with Amber Heard. Like, we need to have some more creative sentencing in this country. I love that.

Just your side of the best. That is just one pile of shit. Just one giant pile of shit. Yeah. They'll dissuade some people from some shitty behavior. What is this? Memory foam? Kind of.

I remember that corn. All right. I had to work in the Amber Heard reference. Go ahead, Vinny. You were saying. Good stuff. We're moving on to Thailand. Good stuff, girl.

That made 20 bucks. That made 20 bucks from chat. They challenged them. I'm going to get a note after the show from Vinny. I can see it now. a naval officer in Thailand has been arrested after video footage of him went viral. In the video, he was

allegedly forcing training Marines to drink human semen. Oh, that old gag. Welcome to the Navy boys. Guys, I hate to be the slippery slope argument guy here, but you know, we let the gaze in so you know.

Go figure. This is in Thailand. So it was filmed in a naval training camp in a But it surfaced last week. It reportedly shows a Navy instructor pushing conscripts as he forces them to drink semen mixed with fish sauce. Oh, can we 86 the fish sauce, please? Here's my impression.

Give me the calm. Let's get rid of the fish sauce. Here's my impression of me in that squad. You ready? Is we going, can we just run or something? Yeah, right. Can I just like do laps? I know I can be better.

I know we're supposed to learn how to swim with weights on us and shit or something, dude. So here's the fucked up part. Does it have any tuna cans? You can put in a sock or something? Where's the bell? I can ring the bell and go home. Like fucking every movie. You can't though because military conscription in Thailand is a mandatory practice.

So you have to go. Yeah, men 21 and over are subject to an annual lottery system. So they drew your number. You're not a volunteer. So you're saying that. Your dad's like one day you're going to have to answer the call for your country. and drink cum, so be ready. I'm ready, dad.

You're not supposed to be into it. You just have to do it. You're not supposed to be excited about it. Hi, Daddy. I'm a patriot. I'm a spit-covered Thai soldier. That is very funny. Did you notice in this article?

that you set along to us, Vinny. There's a whole paragraph about how semen is good for you. And I think it was written by the author, like if his girlfriend happened to read this article or something. By the way, semen actually has a lot of great nutrients and it's really good for your skin. It has serotonin and melatonin, which enhances mood. Yeah, it enhances your mood.

Like, why is that a part of this article? No, it enhances my mood, you idiot. Yeah. It's a bit out of place in this thing. It's like the old Jackie Joker, the guy walking in the sperm bank with the gun, and he goes, the mask, and he goes, the woman, drink that. She drinks it and he takes

off his mess. It's her husband. He goes, see, wasn't that bad, man. As opposed to his new joke? Yes. Okay. Good. Yeah, that old one he used to tell. All right. Let's go to London, shall we are on our last story of the day. A vile Undertaker posed for pictures next to corpses and asked

another man to the mortuary to have sex with the dead body. He was sentenced last week. Nigel Robinson Wright said he would give the man crystal meth to engage in necrophilia at the Chapel of Rest in London. All right, as the Libertarian on the show, I feel that I need to say that this is free trade

among consenting adults. I don't know why the law is getting involved in this. Everyone seems to be happy at this exchange. Doesn't the corpse become property, like, of the family? You're not allowed to fuck it. I got to... Oh, you're one of those, Vinny. You know what?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Vinny, Ron Paul never talked about that. So I'm going to need to do a little bit more research now. He didn't explain to me what to do. do with fucking dead bodies. I heard that Rand Paul has a journal about it. Okay, I'll check that out. So Nigel Robson Wright, uh, he would regularly chat with pedophiles and animal abusers on the internet. The, uh, prosecuting attorney explained to the court. He was 42 years old. He also

had an interest in dead bodies using military grade encrypted chat rooms. He also arranged to meet a pervert who was offering a toddler to be raped. Okay, hold on a second. That's not the definition of a pervert. This, this, this, what is, Carl? offering a toddler to be raped? That's a criminal. It's not a pervert. A pervert's like fun. Oh, the neighborhood pervert.

You know, it's kind of fun. We all laugh. This guy is a monster. It's a little bit different. Okay, fair enough. And what are the odds that the guy who's into kid rape just has a toddler available? Yeah, right. You know what I mean?

Like, the planet's aligned for this to fucking have. Well, turns out that all of these things are being monitored by the government. Online chats between the two months. men led them to the funeral director. Officers visited Robson Wright in his home, and they discovered that he was a possession of indecent images, and there was very disturbing images. Extreme pornography was discovered involving tortured sexual abuse of children and animals. The defendant had been in contact with others via social media and had been organizing

the commission of sexual offenses against children's dogs and dead bodies. You know why the police intercepted the chat. Why is that? Because it was with Prince Andrew. You got to be careful who you talk to online. You know what I like about Prince Andrew? He's cool under questioning. Guy never sweats.

Never sweats. Never sweats. He used to never sweat. Now he does, but back then. What? This never happens to me. Would you say about the children and the dogs?

He basically was telling the guy, hey, listen, I got meth. You want to come over and fuck a corpse. Yeah. Yeah. So he is going to prison for quite a while.

And that is, but what an advertisement for math, really. I mean, I've never done it. I've never had any. but like I can just imagine you know your buddies are doing it you go so like if I do it what's gonna like will I be hung over the next day no no but you may want to fuck a kid at some point

they're like you know what I'm just watch you guys how about that you know this meth is all right but it's not fuck a corpse good right right right I wish that illegal drugs had marketing campaigns because like you know what would you do for a Klondike bar you know I'll shave off my eyebrows for a treat what would you do with some meth I'd fuck that that that's guy right there in front of you who can watch do you have meth because if yeah line up a corpse and I'll fuck it and then eat the Klondike bar right there USA USA uh what a creep off it's bad today this has been great shooley eager from uh the shooley show joining us thank you so much buddy you are a delight yeah man it was fun uh

thank you guys for having me love you guys i can't wait to see you next week in nashville and uh and then viny and i doing the comedy show when are you when are you coming in are you coming in on that saturday i think so i think so if my wife's sick of me i may come in that friday when are you guys coming in friday i'll be there thursday oh okay and we're staying through monday so uh hang out two hour drive maybe i'll come out friday and we'll hang for a little bit or sounds good yeah we'll definitely we'll be uh hanging out friday i'm i'm gonna be there thursday too yeah all right anyways guys it's been great uh thanks for having me all the best all right chile uh carl remember folks uh mr shoole mr shulie he got the fuck out of here

didn't he gave him the we gave him the green light to leave and he dug it all right so uh ladies and gentlemen remember to vote this week at the creepoff dot com if you want to leave us a voicemail the number is 585-3-7-1-808. Shield, this is my impression of Shealy just now. He really fucking bolted out of here. Yeah, it's fine. All right. So we'll be back next week, possibly.

I have an idea for a show next week, Carl. Okay, good. Yeah, I don't know how we're going to do that. So you didn't have all your equipment with you down in Nashville, right? I will, yeah. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to record a very cool scum stream, but we are going to release part of it as a regular episode. Okay.

The whole episode will go up to Patreon. okay I think that'll be fun you'll get you'll make sure you get a good dose of scum next week we're going to be traveling next Monday so sorry guys but we will be back soon cool all right until then it's nice to be important it's more important to be nice uh watp live dot com who are these comics dot com and gagia I'll sit on your face and then I'm on a truly Life can be funny If we're all in alcohol 69

Chaubeck we're on away I don't like suits Drugs are bad You shouldn't do drugs Alcohol is bad You shouldn't drink alcohol Chow Bella May your enemies be cursed in your podcast adventures