The Creep Off - Episode 138: Zumock vs. Bundy (This Ain't No Meet Cute)

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

This week Karl and Vinnie make their nominations for creepiest "Chad" inadvertently creating the most important vote in Creep Off History: Our Podcast Hitman song parody contest begins, and we prove that ASMR has no place in True Crime Podcasting:  In the Scum Parade we meet a 41-year-old who is terrible at hide and seek, a Russian hero and a Male NurseCheck out the stories below and visit thecreepoff.com for links to our Patreon & SupercastMan 'poured urine through couple's letterbox and put poo on car' | Metro NewsFather who forced paedophile friend to dig own grave is freed from jail early | Daily Mail OnlineICU Nurse Christopher Lambros Had 'Dexter Collection': Cops (lawandcrime.com)California man arrested after hiding in woman's closet with knife and duct tape | Fox News

Hey everyone, welcome to the creep off, also known as kittens and criminals. I hope that gets to women audience in. This podcast is a competition where these two hosts bring in a creep and try to convince you that they brought in the creepiest creep. Then you head over to the subreddit and vote for who can eat the most amount of pizza. Oh, that's why Vini won this week. After five wins, the winner makes the loser spin the dreaded wheel of consequences, which includes funny consequences such as wearing crocs to a lie. show or nuking your Twitter account by tweeting the N-word.

Benning, we can probably remove that one from the board now. In a totally original idea, last week, the guys decided to do a Halloween sputacular. I feel really gross after saying that. I'm going to go take a shower. That's all I got for this week. Tucker, out. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups.

You might want to walk away now. If you ain't any of these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo. Nottie, noughty.

Disgusting Vomit-inducing thing Ola Creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast. The show about creeps by creeps, for you creeps. My name is Vinny.

The Tower of Power, too sweet to be sour. The people's champion. Vinnie's Barleto. And joining me today, I got to tell you, he's one of my favorite people in the world. And he's having a rough time today. It feels like, and I'm not going to pile on to it because I want to have a good show. It's hot.

Cicca, Cara, everyone. What a weird introduction. What is happening, Vinie Paulino? Good to see you, my friend. I know you're feeling down. No, I just don't care about football anymore. It doesn't matter. It's fine.

You're like, what are those kids who, like, a piece of their soul went missing because they found out Santa Claus wasn't real? Wait. What's that real? What's that real? Yeah. You were just not having any fun. No, fun ended at that moment in my house. Well, I think that'll be great for our dynamic today.

You know, people even, like, sent me clips to fuck with you. Yeah. And I decided not to play it because that's how down you seemed. You're such a sweetheart, Biddy. Wow. I don't know why I deserve you. I guess I don't. What a do.

Holy shit. I try to be a good guy to you for once. Well, I got big news before we get too far under the show. Okay. What's up? for the very first time on the creep off super chat monday oh super chat monday that just rolls right out the tongue doesn't it it certainly does and if we ever do a show on a tuesday we can have super chat tuesday that sounds good and if a wednesday or whatnot we get it it works for any day of the week is

my point we get it we got it i'm about to play this jet shit fuck you um yeah so super chat so what we're gonna do we're gonna read it at the end at the very end of the show after the credits we're going to read our super chats very cool so uh save them up and make them funny or not just ask us whatever you want yeah tell us whatever you want yeah that's fine too it's fine we'll be there okay carl is not to disrupt the usual dynamic of the show another reason for you to be bummed about here are the results from last week's episode all right viny has 93 votes to my 60 Please I'm going to make a

Um, Carl Uh, Carl Vienhousing for the Wienhousing This may have been a two counts You had both my shoulders on the mat But I kicked out God damn I kicked out

I thought I had a good one The guy with a chainsaw scaring little kids into traffic I thought that was a good one I want you to know something Yeah I listened back to the episode and I giggled and giggled again the second time I heard it.

It is, but it wasn't the winner. It wasn't the winner. It wasn't the winner. All right. So what's the score now? It's four to three? It's four to three now. Okay.

So I'm still on game point here. You're still on game point until you're not anymore. Right. So folks, I let out of the goodness of my heart again to make Carl feel good. I let him pick the category this week. Well, hold on a second. Let's say it like it is. you said, hey, got any ideas for a category?

And if you're going to ask me, then you got to take my answer. I did. I took your answer. And you did take my answer. Because once again, I, you know, I'm a nice guy. You're the greatest guy, Vinny. Thank you. We have a great topic today.

What is it, Carl? Tell the people. We are doing the creepiest Chad. That's right. The creepiest person with the first name, Chad. No, Carl. That's not what that means. No?

No. Aren't you familiar with dictionary.com's definition? I am. actually. It's a slang term. It's used for a popular, confidence, sexually attractive, young white male. Yeah, I've been called a Chad quite a bit. I get it. No. When they call you it, they mean you're like you're dangling from something. Like, it's never really, it's meant to be disparaging, actually. So in other words, the answer is a Chad is a good looking guy who fucks a lot. Sure. All right. Do you want to get this round started? You're up first, buddy. I'm up first. Ring the bell. I guess we'll get into it. Now, I know my back's up against the wall and I'm going to do something. I never wanted to do on this show. This is, to me, Putin dropping tactical nukes.

My back is up against the wall. I didn't want to do this. But my Chad today is the Chaddest Chad of all the chads. Okay. There is no creepier Chad. This guy smashed Puss alive and dead. And he's been dead since 1989 and still gets women wet. Okay.

he was strapped into the electric chair he's dead my creep today the chatiest Chad it's fucking Ted Bundy oh my all right I'm gonna let you go ahead and present this one Vinnie but wow are you breaking the rules wow wow

you said he is Chad and I looked it up you are breaking some fucking rules right here I looked it up if people want to vote for you on this one they can but it's insane this is insane okay go ahead Who's Ted Bundy? What did he do?

Well. Who is Ted Bundy and what did he do? I'll just say this. If he was a wrestler, his gimmick name would be gentleman Ted. Yes. He really was a fucking charming guy. He was so charming. It was goddamn infuriating at times.

But I'm not going to get into all of it because most of you know the story. But I'm going to tell you a couple of the finer points. Just to have some fun with it. He was born in unwed home for mothers in Burlington, Vermont. No one knew who his dad was. Fun fact. Okay. His mother told everybody that she was seduced by a soldier who was traveling through town, but many others have theorized that Ted is the son of his own grandfather and that his

mother was the victim of sexual assault. Good looking guy, though, you know? I mean, usually incest doesn't create that. It's interesting. Yeah, you would think the extra chromosome skipped a generation here. I guess so. You should see his siblings. They just threw them in the barn. Ted had a ton of girlfriends. In spite over the fact that for five years, he mercilessly mercilessly and viciously killed and raped at least 36 women across the United States. And the real number, those are the ones he confessed to. The real number is probably closer to 100.

Okay. Now, he is the poster boy for American serial killers. I'm not going to spend all days on the details. But if there was going to be a serial killer calendar for true crime, Ted's on the fucking cover of this thing. The gals love him. The whining crime girls, oh my God. He began breaking the law as a kid.

Carl? He was a kleptomaniac. Okay. Just like another Chad that I'm sure we're going to talk about later. Breaking laws. Okay. I'm listening. He used to be an avid skier and he used to go steal shit from the pro shops. Okay. And then he would also forge lift tickets so he could go ride for fucking free. That's a Chad move. That's a motherfucker with confidence. What a real monster this guy is. Jeez. He was also a peeping Tom. Okay.

Who used to like to go and peek in people's windows? Sure. Who doesn't? He never admitted it. But a lot of people, have put together the clues that his first victim was an eight-year-old girl named Anne-Marie Burr, who disappeared from her home in the middle of the night in 1961. Ted was 14 at the time and lived a block away. Now, let me ask you this. Wasn't Ted pretty proud of himself? Very much so.

Yeah, I thought he kind of confessed to all this stuff because he was kind of proud of himself for it. No, no. He would tease that he knew a couple of things that he didn't tell them. He was one of those guys. Same with that BTK. they just fucking talk and talk and talk and talk and by the way Ted Bundy isn't sufferable when he does start to talk I should have just if I had all goddamn day I could have

listened to these things and pulled clips of him just going on and on about how porn and heavy metal music made him do it yeah didn't he escape from everybody's fault but his didn't he escape from prison twice though yeah we're to talk about that's pretty cool okay and it is pretty cool we're going to get to it but I just want to point out a couple of things this is how vicious of a guy he was his first attack that they know of that he confessed to. Yeah. 18 year old girl snuck into her basement bedroom window, ripped a metal

rod from the bed frame, beat her to death with it, and rammed it in her vagina. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah. Now, this was in 1974 where he was a freshman at the University of Washington. See, this was before porn was all of the internet. People didn't really know how for play worked back then. They don't have

the stores with all the nice silicone covers for things. Exactly. Yeah. He just was like, get in there. So during the first half of 1974 at this school, female college students disappeared at the rate of about one per month. That's alarming. Gentlemen dead. It was a fucking problem. Yeah. So here's what his modus operandi was, everybody. I just want you to know what he was doing. I'm not going to talk about all 36 of the fucking people we know he killed. But he would start with forcible late night entry followed by a violent

attack with a blunt weapon on a sleeping victim. As he got used to it, he got really fucking brave, Carl. He would use ruses designed to lure victims to the vicinity of his car, where he would have a weapon ready to go, usually a crowbar.

He would hit him over the head with a crowbar. He would use props, Carl. Yeah. He would use a plaster cast, a sling. He would hobble on crutches. Nancy Pelosi's hammer. Sure. And he would try to get these women to come help him. Just like in fucking Silence of the Lambs, that's where they got that shit.

Right. He was a good-looking guy. Oh, could you help me? Women thought they were about to have a meat cute. Right. And their fucking next thing, you know, wham, fucking over the head with the crowbar into the fucking car. Once they were inside the vehicle, he would restrain them with handcuffs. He would rape them.

Then he would strangle them to death. Okay. Then take them to another location. And the women, they didn't want this, right? They weren't fans of the first part. They didn't want the rape or the strangled them. I can't say they didn't want it because I don't know and I don't want a king's shame. Exactly.

I don't want a king's shame. Either way, he would take him to a second site, ditch the clothes and then ditched the body. So, like, he would separate all the stuff. He was pretty good at hiding the clues. He did this a lot. And here's an interesting story. This is one that I do want to highlight. Because this is how fucking bold and brazen this guy is.

He was so goddamn. Fuck, he'd sure of himself. It's infuriating. A woman named George Ann Hawkins, she disappears where walking down a brightly lit alley between her boyfriend's dorm and her sorority house. Right in front of the door of the sorority house. Yeah.

She disappears. The next morning, three Seattle homicide detectives and a criminologist combed the entire alleyway on their hands and knees looking for any types of clues where this girl disappeared to. Because they were very, very worried. All these women are disappeared. now we got one who didn't come home.

Right. So later when Buddy did confess, he said that he lured this woman to his car, knocked her unconscious with a crowbar, handcuffer drove away, 20 miles east of Seattle, strangled or spent the entire night fucking her corpse,

dumped her in a river. He then went back to the alley where he took her from. And in the very midst of the major crime scene investigation, while the cops were out there looking for the murderer. he went to the area where he knew one of her shoes had been left okay picks up a shoe found one of her earrings that she lost in an adjoining parking lot and walked away with the evidence right in front of the fucking cops and none of them did a fucking thing that's fascinating

please go on okay isn't that fucking incredible well it's impressive but i mean he had to get the evidence so he had to do something well let me tell you what his day job was at the time yeah what was it He was working in an Olympia as the assistant director of the Seattle Crime Prevention Advisory Commission. I'm sorry. Easy for you to say. Fuck you. Where he wrote a pamphlet for women on rape prevention. Don't get a car with me.

If you see me run, is what it said. So in August 1974, he gets accepted into the Utah Law School and he moves to Salt Lake City. What do you know? All the murders stop in Washington. Interesting. And he gets there and he figures. out he's too stupid for this school and he basically fails out after

one year but during that time a new string of homicides begin he's having a field day because he's going to three different states he's going to Utah Colorado and Idaho he doesn't get arrested until 1975 Carl this is like a year of murders

this guy's going on a spree they caught him in a car because cops thought he was driving suspiciously they found mask gloves rope and a crowbar handcuffs in his car and he was like Eh, you know, what do you want me to tell you? They had no evidence that he did anything

But now he's under suspicion And they start investigating him It's hard when they can't find the bodies To do anything about these types of things But here's the thing They're finding bodies all over the place They're finding the bodies in Washington at this point Okay

There's investigations going on In all of these states So now he's a suspect for the very first time He sells his car to try to get rid of evidence The cops fucking go get it from the guy he sold it to and start sweeping it. They find a little bit more evidence. And the car was identified in an attempted abducting of a woman named Carol DeRanch. Who, by the way, Carl, she's hot.

Is she? You want to see a picture of her? He had a type. The one that got away, huh? Let's see. Where is it? Where are you, Carol? She has a Tiffany Amberthesan thing going.

Oh, yeah. Kind of a big nose, though. Yeah, she's not as perfect as our Tiffany. No, she's no pumpkin head. She's no pumpkin head. So all I want to say is he gets arrested for this. Yep. Now, this woman identifies him for attempting to abductor.

Sure. He goes to trial for this. Yep. He gets sentenced to a year to five and a half years in prison. During this time, they start charging him with these other crimes in Colorado. Okay. So they send him to a jail in Colorado, and they start to try him. for murder. He was a law student, so he wants to aid in his own defense. He uses the law library

in the court to, you know, research. Of course. He used it to jump out the fucking window. Yeah, second story window. Second story window, gone for six days on the lamb. They catch him, bring him back. Then he's in jail for like another year. He's actually winning his case. Like he's going to be acquitted of the murder that he's being charged of. He's on the trail. But during this time, he decides what he's going to do is start using tools to cut a hole in the ceiling of his cell and squeeze through the metal bars. He dropped 35 pounds during this time.

Yep. Waits till New Year's Eve, goes out through the ceiling, threw the place into the apartment of the jailer that was at the jail, who was out with his wife that night. Sure. puts on street clothes, and he's fucking off. Yeah. They didn't know he was gone for 17 hours.

Right. By the time they figured out that he was even gone, he was from Denver, Colorado to Chicago. Nothing creepy about this so far, I have to say. This is all just pretty cool shit. Well, aside from the rape and murder stuff, that's not great. I didn't get so graphic in it, but he did, I mean, he did a lot of horrible, horrible things. Everyone knows what he did. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

So he's on the lamb now. How does he survive, Carl? His old habits, shoplifting and stealing money and credit cards from women's wallets left in shopping carts at local grocery stores. That's right. Ted did the creepiest thing somebody could do. He was stealing their credit cards and using them. Okay.

It's very Chad-like behavior, Carl. I agree that is very creepy. I agree with that. You can't argue. So he ends up in Tallahassee, Florida, where in January 15th of 1978, he snuck into the sorority, Chi Omega House,

and brutally attacked four women. One of them, he shoved a shampoo bottle into her vagina and left her for dead bashed one woman's head completely open and he got seen though because he was leaving the house he walked out the fucking front door

holding what looked like a club covered in blood past a girl who was coming home from another party fucking crazy his last victim was a 12 year old girl that he stole from her junior high school in Lake City Florida

two months later they found her body and there was semen stains in the crotch so yeah he raped and murdered a 12-year-old girl and fucked her. Not cool. Yeah. I'm against that. Here's what happens with all these chads, Carl. They get over their head, right? He didn't have a job. He had nothing. He had this weird apartment that he was paying

by the week for. He didn't have the rent. He figured the cops were going to find him. He got seen, you know, bashing those sorority girls' brains in. So he decides to try to get out of Florida and he starts heading towards Alabama. And he gets pulled over because he was driving a stolen Volkswagen Beetle. Dumb move. Cop pulls him over. He tries to jump the cop. Okay.

And then he runs away. The cop fires two warning shots, almost gets him. He wrestles with the cop. He tries to steal the cop's gun. A whole fucking thing, man. This guy did not want to go down. And either way, he ends up being arrested for all these murders. They trace it back to him because he fucking bit these women's titties

and his fucking teeth marks are on him. He couldn't fucking deny that. But he is the creepiest person that is, ever lived because he was so fucking charming and good-looking. Even the judge could not yell at him. I would like to show you video of him representing himself in court, Carl.

Just past 9.30 this morning, Theodore Bundy entered the court for Judge Coward. Mr. Bundy? Yes. The court wants to talk to you, man. Come up to the bar. What happened? What happened? Wait.

He didn't mean in the jail? The court was supposed to start at 9 o'clock. I'm going to tell you something, young man, and I want to tell you clearly and unequivocally so you understand. This court is not going to follow your schedule. This court is going to set the time when we convene and when we do not convene. We're late because he is. The court has already found you in contempt to this court. Be forewarns, I'm not tolerating any more of this. Is there any question in your mind?

Perhaps the court can tell me how I can hold the jail and contemptu. and the uh you can quit breaking lights and stuff in toilet paper in a lot that's how you can not pull them in for tip what i'm saying to you your honor is i'm laboring under conditions which are causing me stress which this court is not aware of the conditions imposed upon me by the day county he's stuffing shit into the locks by the system i think to coerce me to wear me down since i have been in dave county i've been allowed to you take your finger please Don't shake your finger at me, young man. A one and one half hour. That's fine. You can shake it as much as high. He probably deserves it better than you.

He's cracker jokes. This railroad train is running, Your Honor, but if I want to get off, I'll get off. If I need to demonstrate the court that there are things happening outside this courtroom, they're influencing and affecting me. There comes to time when I just have to say, whoa. If you say, whoa, I'm going to be using spurs and overcome that woe. You bet. And this court is going to proceed on schedule.

Bless your heart. I just hope you stay with it. If you don't, we'll miss you. All right. What? So what was the guy's name, Judge Coward? Yeah, Judge Cowher. Why isn't he more brave?

Why isn't he more brave? Something. Good one. No, but dude, he's stuffing the fucking jailhouse locks or shit to make it so he's late for court. And this judge is like, well, partner, I wish you luck. We're going to keep going on without you. He's shaking his finger at the judge. And then he starts shaking his finger at the lawyer. And the lawyer's like, oh, he shakes his finger at me sometimes too. These people were fucking charmed to shit by this guy. All the reaction shots was like showing like a comedy club reaction shot.

People are laughing and having a good old time. Two drink minimum in there, I think. Oh, my God. It's good stuff. Is that your presentation for today, Vinny? Can we move on now? Come on. No. No. I just want to point out, 21 stolen credit cards. I got. They strapped into an electric chair in 1989. I'd fuck him. I guess. I fucked up.

Go ahead. All right. So I decided to bring in a Chad for the creepiest Chad. That's right. I am presenting to you, Chad Zumak. And listen, the reason why I'm presenting this to you, I had no idea how long of a list there was for Chad's arrest record. Now, I want to say this. This is all public documents that were found online.

These were crimes committed by a guy named Chad Zumak who lives in Ohio. I don't know if it's the exact Chad Zumok in every instance or not. I don't know if Chad's just not very famous or if he does a really good job scrubbing the internet. It is kind of hard to find a lot of stuff. And I do know that he's told me to take down Reddit threads and things. So I think he is pretty diligent about getting information. There were links to videos people talking about Chad that were all gone. think that Chad is very active at getting things taken down.

So it's not easy to find all the stuff that's been up to, but I did find quite a list here. What I'm going to do is I'm going to present to you dates and crimes. Now, the dates might be the date that he was actually arrested. It might be the date that he was convicted or pleaded it. I'm not exactly sure on all of these, all right, Vinnie. But it gives us an idea of around the time that these things happen. so we can see the life of creepy Chad Zumak play out before.

Even I'm fascinated by this and now I'm bad. It all goes back to September 10th, 1993, where he was arrested for violating a temporary protection order or anti-stalking protection order. Violating TPO. So these already got, I mean, how old is the guy? He's probably in high school at this time. Maybe he's just out of high school. How old were you in 93? I was in high school in 93.

I was 11. In April 18, 1996, felony theft. November 26, 1998, felony burglary. December 4th, 1998, criminal trespassing. January 15th, 2000, breaking and entering and theft. May 10th, 2002. Suspended OI or expired OI. I think that's like a registration.

or license or something. July 19, 2003, menacing by stalking. That's creepy behavior. So that one from 98 to 2003, you had five relatively good years there. No, 2000 was breaking and entering in theft. 2002 was the suspended license,

2003, menacing by stalking. All right. July 21st, 2003, this 2003 was something else. Burger League felony second degree. Then September 23, 2003. TPO or anti-stalking, infection order violation again a lot of people do not want chad stalking them myself and clear did

they chad we're buddies uh january 23rd i just want you to know i just want you to know something before you keep going with that that part of the reason why i did pick ted bundy is because i knew he would end up seeing this and it would drive him crazy to see a poll who's creepier ted bundy or chad zubach so in a way you're welcome everybody okay all right i think you just came up with that now but i'll still give to you. That's pretty funny. All right. So in 2000, all right, so now fast forward five years. Not a lot happened between 03 and 08. And in 2008 in January, he did get his first OVI, which is like a DUI in Ohio. It's like operating vehicle all under the influence, something like that. So that was his first one. On December 29, 2011, public intoxication,

which was a misdemeanor. November 30th, 2012, this was the big one. This was his second OVI. This is the one that got him booted from the Alan Cox show. They did not, they found a way to get out of their contract with Chad once he was arrested for his second driving while under the influence. And actually, I can read to you from Cleveland.com. Chad Zumach was found passed out in his car on a Lake Avenue, I'm sorry, was found out in his car in Lake Avenue after hitting a tree at 3.18 a.m. He had been traveling along Lake below the speed limit.

According to the police reports, he refused a breathalyzer test when officers spoke with him. Zumach was charged with drunken driving, failure to control, and a seatbelt violation, and was released after posting Bond. Hmm. So it sounds like he went nighty nights while driving home. I hope he was okay. He seems like he was all right. Does he, though? No, not at all.

Because that really started the decline for this guy. Once he lost his gig on the radio, he has been. Is that what got him fired? Yes. He's been struggling quite a bit since then. I'll just put it that way. February 15, 2014, driving without place. What do you think struggling more?

Chad's career? Chad's career or actual terrestrial radio. Which ones do you think is struggling? They're both doomed. Both are donzo. Okay. But one of them I have fond memories of. One of them we can all go, yeah, but I had to run, right?

Terrestrial radio was cool for a minute. You make a point. August 6, 2014. Physical control While under the influence October 7th, 2015 theft misdemeanor in the first degree January 17th, 2019

theft of between $500,000 a misdemeanor And then of course So this was all in Ohio Now we got to fast forward Down in Tampa November 8th 2020 Fraudulent use of a credit card

That's where he's stealing credit cards From his buddies at the gym And going on little shopping sprees and grabbing lunch and getting some booze. When does it go on the murder rape spray? Well, I have a feeling that the next time I'm in Tampa, that'll be when that happens. So I present to you, I was shocked at this rap sheet, man.

Holy crap. This guy gets in the trouble with the law quite a bit. You know, man, it's one of those great things about stand-up comedy. They don't do background checks. It's great. No, they don't. But every other job does. which is why Chad doesn't have any other job.

It's kind of a problem. There it is. My presentation for the creepiest Chad. Go to our subreddit to vote for who you thought brought the creepiest Chad this week on the creepoff. It's Ted fucking Bundy. All right. And make Carl spin the wheel. All right.

So you came to see me the other night, by the way. I'm still waiting for the video from Cindy. Ah, yes. I did. Vin he fulfilled its consequence. I worked to shift. Yeah, you were making some pickle pizza. I have video evidence of it.

That was disgusting, dude. I smelled it and I wanted to puke. It's not a great thing. It's not a great. What a terrible fucking idea. Cindy was very nice. I asked her, I go, was this your idea? She wouldn't even take ownership.

She's like, no, I didn't want some. Okay, I'm like, God, God. I want to say this, though. The people at Rhinos Pizza in Webster, New York, are very, very nice. Dude, they were so nice. How funny was that? When they were asking me why you were working there and what I had to do with it, and I was explaining that it's a consequence.

I'm like, yeah, but I work here. Why is it a consequence? Well, yeah, I know. I mean, don't take it personally, but... I mean, look at all of you. No, you're there all night. It was so insulting. I said it, and one lady who was, like, doing dishes and stuff,

was like, what do you mean? It's a consequence to work. I'm like, lady, come on. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Either way, they're great people. Yes.

God bless them all. tell you something else. I'm going to eat pizza there whenever I can. All right. Except for that pickled shit. Yeah, they have regular pizza too. I got good pizza while I was there, so that was good. Yeah, I made it for you, by the way. Are you ready

for the next segment of our show? Carl, I couldn't be more ready if you wanted me to be. Creepos. That's right. It's time for who are these creepos on the creep-off, presented by the creep-off. And why do we do this, Vinny? Because we're petty and we're assholes and we don't just have the best true crime show on the internet we have

to prove it we want to prove it we can't wait to prove it and today i found a true crime show holy shit this one came in i just want to start by say before you say anything yeah what i saw the title of this i was ang legitimately angry at you're not going to like this this one came in on the discord it was a suggestion from emt wallet and And this is a show. Now, the YouTube channel is called True Crime Time ASMR. Let's go ahead and get started. Let's play the first clip here.

Oh, this woman's mouth is wet. Is that it? Let's listen to it. Let's check it up. Oh, that wasn't the first clip. You got the video? Oh, I've got the video. Let's switch over here.

Let's do it. Hi, guys. Welcome back to True Crime Time ASMR. I'm Nicole Thank you so much to everyone who has tuned in to this video All right

So this ASMR thing where she's rubbing the microphone She's whispering her mouth is so wet Just so much lip smacking and whatever else is going on there Usually I enjoy those noises coming from with it God, not my thing, but what really turned me off about this. So this is an episode called the BDSM Treehouse Killer about Julia Enright. And it takes so long. I get the whispering thing, but why is it so slow?

Play my next track here. I don't want to. Please consider subscribing to the channel. Post two times a week. Too many finger quotes. Yeah, why is she doing finger quotes for two times a week? And Thursday. Okay.

Is this supposed to like turn you on or something? What's going on, Vinnie? What's the deal with this? I'd be very interested to see the numbers on this. I'm sure I'd be appalled. Well, this video, this YouTube channel has like 16,000 subscribers. All right. Let's play, let's get into the story, though.

Mani, this is the true crime show. Let's get into the story. Let's go. I'm excited. Let's learn something. All right. Two weeks later, a jogger in New Hampshire, right, near the border of Massachusetts and New Hampshire, he found Brandon's remains, unfortunately. Could you imagine listening to the show for real?

I feel like Mo in that scene of The Simpsons was like, I'm better than dirt. I got her. Our show has to be better than this. Yeah, right. Like 60,000. Oh, my Christ. All right. I just have one more clip.

Uh, because I couldn't take it. It's just so slow and painful and awful to listen to in every single way. Does she, is her name Chad by any change? She might be changed my vote. Yeah. I'll put her in the ballot. Um, all right. Yeah.

let's um let's hit this last clip because she's trying to tell this story about this tree house there this person was murdered in this tree house and just the way she presents this is just unlistenable first of all there was a tree house that was not on the enright property it was actually owned by their neighbor but the neighbor didn't really use it Why the fuck is she treating the microphone like a monkey trying to pick a lice off? The other monkey's back. When they searched the tree house, they found blood on the stairs leading up. They found blood under the tree house and blood on the floor of the tree house.

All right. I'm sorry, Vinny. I have to start to start. You should apologize. I had to start presenting. creeps this way, okay? Here we go. Chad Sumak is a really

unfunny comic who also has a pretty large criminal record that I researched for us. Yeah, the touching the microphone thing is super obnoxious. So when I go back

and I post the audio version of this, that's what I'm going to play instead of everything you read. I'm just going to play that. Motherfucker. So I don't, I think, I think I've made my case on this one, Vinny. Oh, we're better than that. Normally I bring a few more clips to really drive it home, but I think we all get the point.

You can't even possibly listen to her tell a story. It takes so fucking long. She leaves in every goddamn detail. Oh, the tree house wasn't actually on their property, but it was close to their property. It was actually on the other property. But the people of that property didn't really care of it was on their property. Holy shit. If you're going to do a story and talk this slowly, leave some of those details out.

Get to the fucking point. Disgusting. All right. You ready for some voicemail? Let's do it. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Syracuse, as featured in the Pixar film, Wally. See you in Syracuse.

All right, Carl. I didn't get that joke. I don't watch Pixar movies. Yeah, well, he's married now, and I'm sure that his wife made him watch that. What is the joke, though? What does it mean? I mean, the place was like a shithole. Like, just the world went into become a giant garbage dump, and humanity had to leave.

Oh, is that what that's about? Yeah, yeah. So, uh... What a fun children's movie. It's a lesson about conservation. Of course it is. Oh, oh, sorry, Vinnie. This is, I'm just creating my Reddit account to vote for you because that fucking

cunt, oh, spend my weekend in Florida with Chrissy Mayer and Coomia. Mailed it in this fucking week. Vinny Winnie, People's champ. He's right. I would, did not mail it. I found a great. Two believers. That was a terrible story.

It was a great story. Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch. Here's another thought on last week's episode. So let me get this straight. Charles Creep just made a banging YouTube video. All right? Real chainsaw prank gone wrong. Yeah.

And Vinnie's Creep was a lesbian. All right, I'm voting for Vinnie. Yeah. It's that simple. What an asshole! Uh, okay. Here's a suggestion for WATC. Hey, it's Sergio from Providence.

You know, last week's episode you revisited is a vanished, and I agree. I'm sure fucking sucks. But if you're going to start revisiting things, I think maybe we should bring Patty C Cups in for the WATC. It's true crime or scary stories, podcast, whatever it is. Lots of material there, I'm sure. Bye. Good idea, sir. Yeah, Carl's going to have that in his back pocket for the next time he's lazy.

Noted. Thank you. So. Fucking lazy. All I do is add additional segments in the show. I do more and more prep. Dare you. Okay.

We're going to be doing a bonus episode on Friday, right? Yes, we are. Well, here's a suggestion. Hey, Vinny. Hey, Carl. Vietnam, true believer here. Hey, but man, I fucking love your fucking predator poacher, fucking just catching these fucking sick fucks.

trying to pick up on little girls who's been here watching these fucking these videos and it's so fucking sick to watch these bastards just fucking squirm while they're getting caught up so please please do some more fucking predator poaches just anything I live for this shit

I'm with you buddy cleaning on his attic while he's calling us right now when it's going out of the background he must be moving boxes and shit he must be installing a refrigerator what's happening over there well good news everybody we're going to do some predator

poachers coming up this week and I believe I got a good Alex Rosen video. Okay, very good. All right. So it'll be one of the segments, right? We'll also do Oh, I got some great stories lined up. Yeah, awesome. I got some great stories lined up. It's going to be a great banger of a bonus episode. Love it. Stay tuned for that Friday.

Hey guys, I was listening to your episode a couple weeks ago and you mentioned professional wrestlers fighting matches against little kids. It's not a bad idea, but someone much more famous than you guys saw at first. I could have just been parallel thinking, but I figured you should know. RIP, Chris

Benoit. Thank you for you. Bye. Thank you. That was a lopsided match. That really was not great. It was not great. So, Carl, I have an email that came in from a good friend of the show, Mr. Magenta. Oh, I love Mr. Magenta. I don't know. He does some great song parodies. He certainly does, but this is not a song parody. This is what the email says. Dear Vinnie, please give this to Carl for the next episode of The Creepoff. Somehow, podcast Hitman did a song recording in prison. Whoa. It sent it to me of all people. That's awesome. Not sure how he was able to pull it off, but I totally authorized you to play this

for Carl on the show. All right. So here is the song that apparently podcast Hip Man. I didn't know he's a musician. That's awesome. Oh, this is great. Yeah, you're to love it. I want to fuck Jen like an animal Feel the jingles from the inside I want to fuck Jen like an animal You get me closer to Carl All right, that's terrible I'm gonna do my wife

Yeah, pot gets in back. Good stuff, buddy Keep those songs coming. Thanks, podcast, man. It's finally, it's nice to have you contributing to the show again. Yes, it's been a while. Twice in three weeks. It's amazing.

You know, I actually feel like you always do the song parody contest for WATP. Maybe we should do a podcast hit me and song parody contest. Oh, that's not bad. Send us your creepoff podcast hitman song parodies. Do it. That is an order. Any more voice sales, Carl? No, I don't have any.

If you could work in anything from that letter into the lyrics. this song, bonus points for that. Perfect. Yes. Perfect. I guess that means it is time for a skum parade, Carl. You're going to hit it? Why, me too?

Scum parade. Take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made. Scum parade. Vinnie and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade. stories of a kid fucked by his mom or dad soaking up the blood of a

cat scum parade Sue 59 and Martin Water 61 were enjoying a sunny holiday in Greece when their security camera detected a gloved man coming onto their property in Andover, Hampshire in England

Carl. Yes. Now, the footage which I'm about show you. Did you watch the footage? I did, yeah. Oh, get this lady off the screen. She's awful. Look at it and listen to and know about it. There it is. Awful in every single way. There we go. Now, the footage shows of decanted a plastic bottle of mystery liquid around the entrance before returning. Yeah, so this is him talking about ASMR. It's just crazy. Everyone's got a camera on their front door now. And these idiots still just go up and just break the law right in front of the camera. And then he comes back and drops a

turd on the door stout. Dude, he was there for four hours. He was there for four hours just like pouring pee and cat shit all over the place. Here he comes back and he's rubbing shit out of her car. Yeah. Four hours going back and forth with foul substances unaware he was being filmed. How crazy. That's dedication, man. That's, you know, he's putting in a whole shift. The couple originally feared the liquid being poured in their home was petrol. They were afraid that the guy was going to burn down their house.

Yeah, so they send their kids there to go check it out. Would you please make sure our home isn't on fire? Yeah, and light a candle. I'm not sure if we paid the electric bill. It became apparent the mystery substance was urine. Yes, it was. He was pouring urine through the letterbox of the house. Good prank.

Pretty funny stuff. Good prank. Yeah, I'm pretty good joke. It's like doing the lemon thing on a windshield. It's either that pour the candy. cat pissed through the... I mean, this is amazing. It's a good bet.

It's a good bet. Police say they would not investigate the incident as it is an ongoing dispute where both parties have made complaints and they will take further action of criminal offenses identified. This is my favorite part. The cops are like, yeah, we don't care. Like, no, we have the video. He's doing this.

He's smearing cat shit on my car. He's putting piss in my house. We're like, yeah, we don't care. I love that. I wish more of car's just like, yeah, whatever. Here's more of Carl's libertarian bullshit. It's hilarious, don't you think? By the way, it's legal to smear cat shit on cars in the UK.

Can we add this to the wheel? Fly to London and smear cats shit. I want to smear cats shit on cars in London. I'd rather do that thinking podcast Hitman money. At least I get to go to London. Yes. Oh, shit, Carl. So either way, no further criminal actions being taken in relation to this incident.

Police have inspected the car of the property and said there's no damage. Yeah. This doesn't meet the standards for criminal. prosecution, they told him. Yeah, don't waste our time with this. Oh, I love it. It's great. Hey, Carl, I got a male nurse. Oh, yes, you do. Ugh. Fun story a couple months ago, by the way, here's a creep update. We did a story about a guy at the shore winds down in Rochester. Yeah. Who was molesting patients. Yep. And local guy. Turns out Gabe, our showroom manager here at Comedy at the Carlson, was on the jury. Oh, no shit.

Guilty. Well done, Gabe. Well done. Shout out to Gabe. How do you knock it out of jury duty? Does he hate his job that much? He'd rather go to jury duty? I'll tell you what. Yeah. Have you ever sat on a jury before me? Oh, no. No. They start asking questions about what type of crime it is.

You just go, I had a cousin who died of fraud. Oh, no. I'd do something different. I go, I hang out with Anthony Coomy. I'm like, okay, dismissed. We've earned enough. That works. Yep. Okay. Do you keep your name drop to hit when you do it? Of course. All right. Well, let's go over to another male nurse.

60-year-old intensive care unit nurse in Colorado was arrested last week for recording himself sexually assaulting multiple patients over the course of several months. This guy is guilty of being really stupid. Could not be dumber. Could not be dumber what he did. Christopher Peter Lambrose was taken in. to custody on October 25th in charge with three counts of sexual assault involving penetration of a victim unable to consent. Now, police say a colleague allegedly witnessed Lambros, conduct, told his conduct, told the

investigators that she had gone to the intensive care unit to check on a patient and notice that the lights were off and the curtain was drawn. When she pulled back the curtain, she saw the patient who was unconscious. Yeah. And she heard Marvin Gay was playing And she got a little suspicious She had her gown pulled up Exposing her breasts

And the bed sheet was pulled out Exposing her genitals Yeah The witness said she saw a nurse Who she knew as Chris Lambose And his head on the patient's stomach With his face towards the patient's feet With what she believed

Was his right arm extended Holding what she was sure Was an unknown make model cell phone In a black case In a position as if he was taking a selfie picture Yep That's always the right thing to do when you're raping someone.

Especially someone who's unconscious who would never be able to tell on you. Make sure you get some video evidence of it. Get some photographs. Fucking idiots. He was taking a pussy selfie. An idiot. Hey, look at me.

It's so fucking funny. So the witness says that when Lambros saw her, he dropped his phone and tried to cover her back up. Before leaving, the witness then reported the encounter to her supervisor. or what investigators asked Lambros about the incident, he allegedly claimed he was, quote, I was giving her an injection of blood clots.

And come. He denied having taken any photos and said he had petty workplace issues with the colleague who claimed to have caught him. Oh, she's always trying to get me in trouble for different shit, raping the patients, just another one in the long list. Here's the fun part. You got to be pretty bold to think that the cops aren't going to be like, okay, well, then give me your phone.

Right. That's the problem right there. And this guy does not like to part with his photos. No, he does not. He loves his videos and his photos. That officer then sees Lambros's phone saying there was a probable cause that he committed the crime of invasion of privacy for sexual gratification. According to the affidavit, Lambros refused to provide the investigators with a pin to unlock the phone,

but they were able to access it after obtaining a search warrant. Did you guys try one, one, one, one? so a digital forensic analysis of the photo allegedly revealed photographs and videos of Lambrose posing with a number of victims who are in a hospital setting as well as Lambrose photographing himself sucking out victim's breasts and digitally penetrating the victims digitally penetrating the victims yeah this guy's older you'd think it would be analog I'll let that sit there that ain't funny I'll let that sit there for everyone The data also allegedly showed at least 168 photos of videos that had been deleted from the device between April 30th and July 9th.

What do you think those were probably just like birthday parties and stuff? Yeah, I heard he went to the zoo one day on his day off. Yeah, his nephew. According to investigators Labros on April 30th, film two videos showing him sucking out of the breasts of an adult female and another video from June. Labros appears to reference the fictional serial killer Dexter Morgan who kept a collection of blood samples from. from each of his trophies. They're the video recovered. Lambrosus could be heard whispering to the camera saying,

don't ever get rid of these videos. You'll need to keep them forever. This is your Dexter collection. What a dork. This guy's an idiot and he's a nerd. He's a male nurse, Carl. Yeah. It's a dummy.

Gross. Gross. So, Carl, we need a hero. Yes. I have a hero for us. Yes, you do. Did you not love this story? I know we're supposed to not like the Russians right now,

but I kind of like their policy on this one. They may be turning me around on a few things here. A distraught father who forced his best friend to kill himself when he discovered the man had sexually abused his daughter has been freed from jail after only six months. That is fucking awesome. Yakhislav Slava Mastrova, 35 was jailed for 18 months, but has now been allowed home,

nearly a year early. Nice. There was a wave of sympathy in Russia for the father who forced child sex abuse abuser Oleg Severadov 32 to dig his own grave in a forest. Dude, this is a brutal way to get rid of a problem right here. Yeah, you know what the sad thing is? This guy got out of prison like almost a year early and they already sent him to Ukraine. It was only going to be 18 months anyway. That's the other beauty of this. Read what this guy did it because it's fucking insane.

I am. The pedophile died. sued afterwards followed a fight with Slava who secretly buried his corpse in an unmarked grave. Investigators concluded that Severative took his own life during the forest fracas in which Slava made clear his fury over the sex abuse. Now, he had apparently abused this man's daughter who was six years old. Upon being released from prison early, the father put, okay, sorry. Again, how did I do that? How did I do that? Videotaping of shit. Stop videotaping your crimes, people.

Okay. The close friendship broke down when the father found sickening and graphic footage on his friend's mobile phone showing him forcied his daughter to perform a sex act on him. Yeah, you imagine that. He's like, oh, dude, I got to show you what happened at the game last night. Come here, and he's flipping through his phone. He's like, oh, that's your daughter blowing me. Sorry. Here's the phone.

This is what I was looking for. There's audio in the video of the woman's going, or the little kid going, oh, that's up. I can't take it anymore. I want to go home. Ugh, that's brutal. Slava. So these guys are buddies. They're like 35 years old.

They're best buds. And the guy doesn't realize that his best buddy is making his daughter suck his dick. Yeah. And so he forced him to dig his own grave and kill himself. Yeah. And he's being applauded by the fellow Russians in that community for doing so. So fuck. Where did it go?

I think I stopped it up pretty well. Yeah. He made him go out to the fucking woods. And he was like, fucking dig your own grave. Yeah. Now kill yourself. or I'm going to the police tomorrow. Yep.

And that he fucking offed himself and he fucking threw him right in the grave and fucking covered it up. Unbelievable. And for that he only got 18 months and even that was too long. And they're like, no, no, no, no.

Let this guy out. What would you have done? Come on. You know he did the right thing. Can't argue. Can't argue with that. Way to go, Russia. Good job, Russia.

I don't have a lot to applaud you for these days, but I'll give you that one. A California man was arrested early Sunday morning after Bay Area police. By the way, and that's a horrible story. And I always do feel bad. for the victims, but to get that kind of practice and those reps in when you're six years old,

she's going to be very popular in high school. Oh, no! You're like how interrupted you to get that one in? All right, let's keep going, Vinnie. Yeah. Fuck it, you're the drive killer over there. A California man was arrested early Sunday morning after Bay Area police found him hiding in a woman's closet.

Benicia Police Department officers responded to a 245 a.m. call from a woman who reported hearing noises coming from her bedroom. Dispatchers stayed on the phone with her until the officers arrived. When officers arrived, they found the subject hiding in a closet in possession of a folding knife, a roll of duct tape, and a razor blade. It's not really a folding knife. It's a razor blade. A straight-up fucking box cutter. So I'm very confused by this story, Vinny. Obviously, It's terrifying to have that guy be hiding in your closet. But how do they not get out of there before the cops got there?

How much time transpired? This is, it's quarter to three in the morning. She hears something, so she makes a phone call. He knows what's going on. The cops show up and he's still there? What's he doing? And since when do police actually show up for there's a weird sound going out of my closet? That's the other thing.

It doesn't make sense. Like, I well, check it out. Let us know. Timothy Allen Allison was arrested after a brief struggle with authorities. right which he was he like put laying carpet in there was he using the box card to trim it against the law no it's i don't know what he's going to but the duct tape was probably not great i have a feeling he was upset maybe they locked him in the closet maybe she like put something on the outside so he couldn't get out of the closet that would be cool

but they should have put that in the story yeah i mean it wasn't that wasn't sad i mean this story is confusing to me vini don't you agree yeah it seems like there's more to it than this it's still pretty fucking traumatizing yeah check your closets right now seriously and look under your bed too because there's a guy with a box cutter there as well it might be chad zumach looking for your credit cards if you're if you're me it might be chad zumok in your closet oh man are we going to name this episode zoomocked is how they have to fucking call this shit oh you hear my new stinger that i got let's do it it's time to mock zoom mock perfect card card of killing it i love it when everything's just on the nose

doesn't need any explanation. It's perfect. So, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be back on Friday with a bonus episode. That was the scum parade. We're going to be able to get our bonus episodes, man. Patreon and Supercast, ladies and gentlemen. You know what? I have been told, and I've been working with some people to go through all my messages.

I'm really sorry that I don't get back to people all that often, so we're working on that right now. But as I'm getting these messages now coming in, people have a hard time finding the creep off on Patreon. I think we're shadow band. There is some weird thing going on because if you talk like it doesn't auto fill it's hard to find. Anyway, my point is this. Go to our website,

click the link if you're looking for us on Patreon and you can't find us. Or go to supercalf.com. Yes, the creepoff.com. Yeah, please check that out. And it has all your links to Patreon Supercast, obviously, our Reddit to vote.

It's all right there on our website. Maybe we should start saying that at the front of the show. Yeah, we probably should. And also, if people aren't familiar with Patreon, the way that it works is when you sign up using the Patreon app, you actually get a RSS line of code that you can put into whatever you use to listen to podcasts. Correct. So it just automatically comes into your player and you just listen to it with whatever you normally use.

You don't have to use a separate app. You know, you just have to use Patreon that one time and then you're good to go from there. That is correct. All you have to do is take that line of code and put it in the search bar of whatever podcast player you use and it'll take you right to us. Yes. Correct. A couple of people. It's a pretty nice thing. Supercast does the same thing.

Yep. So it's not like you have to, now I've got to download this other app and I've got to do this other thing. Like you could literally never use the app, do it one time on your computer, call it a day. Yeah. But we do appreciate the support. You guys are the greatest. We'll be reading some super chats in just a minute. Oh, yeah, Super Chat Monday.

Yes, for the very first time. So let's end the show. Let's do it. I want to fucking like an animal. Feel the jingles from the inside. I want a fucking like an animal. You get me closer to Carl. in your podcast adventures.

Chow Bella. All right, we got any Super Chats? I think we do, buddy. I'm going to pull this screen over here so we can start at the beginning. Looks like we got a couple here for the very first time. Let's say... Tucker Dixon says we're late?

The first one says from Tucker Dix said, how do I pop these over? Not in that, I don't think. Hmm. Interesting. Okay, Tucker Dixon says we're late. Yep. Kinky Loco. Super Chat, Muck. Monday. Thank you, Kanky.

Thank you for the two bucks. Get your shirt together. Get your shirt together. From Cutting Sam. Yep, yep. And our boy, Weege. Oh, wege. $10, thank you. Add one vote for Vinny on every show until I could vote somewhere that is an assess pool.

Also, excellent category choice for election week, king of marketing. Whoops, yeah, we kind of missed one there, didn't we? Yeah, yeah, we definitely. Why do I ask you? I should just be in charge. Oh, look at Tricky Dickey with 20 bucks. Thank you. And that one's to you, Carl.

All right. Hey, Carl, remember when you first started doing WATP Patreon live streams? You used a straw to drink from your glass. You weren't at a restaurant, bro. That was disturbing to look at. Thanks for not doing that anymore. All right. Yeah, no problem.

And I guess that is the end. Have you ever used a straw for a cocktail at home? Many? I do that. No. Straws are nice. You're crazy. All right.

I won't do that ever again. We'll be back next week. Well, we'll be back on Friday. We'll see you then. Thanks for the super chats, guys. Adios. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice.

Good gear.