The Creep Off - Episode #14 Cam Girl Interrupted

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

This week Karl explains how love can get between a man and his family, while Vinnie introduces us to an extremely hungry caretaker. In the Scum parade we meet some parents with controversial methods, a rowing coach who was an expert on his students oars and finally a woman who left her boyfriend a surprise on his front porch.

A second monitor on here where I could have my notes and my soundboard visible to me at the same time. No longer the case. Well, if we were recorded in your basement, you could have whatever you want. Yeah. But now you're in my studio, so Homefield Advantage. Yeah, I've noticed that. It's fucked up. You were getting too good, Carl.

Yeah, does that why you took away my other monitor? Yeah, sure. This guy's too quick. All right, let's start a creep off. Let's do it. It's the Creepoff. It's the Creepov. The Internet's worth.

The Internet's world. contest. Yes. My name's Vinny. I'm one of your hosts, and this is my co-host, hot cuck-cacarla. Where we left off last week, it was three to one. Yes. Now, first person to five wins, loser has to spin the wheel of consequences for those of you who are catching up with the show. I realize we never really explained the rules. We stopped explaining after episode one. Yeah. We're just like, all right, what's the score? What's the spin? All right, go. But, yeah, so the story is, I'm very close. If I win this week, we're at game point. It will be four to one.

No, I sure hope. I sure hope you did not win this week. Now, I'm going to tell you something, Carl. What are you going to tell me? It is neck and M-Fing neck. Oh, okay. We had a close one this week. Good.

Oh, it is as close as it could possibly get. I think that favors me. Let's see what to happen. Where are we at? Oh, fuck you. Are you kidding me? I'm hitting refresh. I'm just making sure.

Yep. There it is. Wow. 83 to 81. Yeah, so you got 50.6% of the votes. Come on, the guy's fucking his step-bom. They're getting married. The guy was fucking a corpse.

Yeah, that is pretty creepy. Damn it. I needed a W. Well, my friend, I called everybody I knew today to remind them to vote. Smart. Because, let me tell you something. You got both your friends? It's a good idea.

All one and a half of them. I had a really rough weekend, and it had a lot to do with this show. Oh, yeah, let's talk about that. And I paid the consequences, Carl. I paid the consequences. I did a set in the parking lot of comedy at the Carlson. I gave it a valiant effort. I wore the worst Stuttering John T-shirt that you can imagine,

the one with this big stupid face on it that said, Hero of the Stupid. I can vouch for this. I was there, and I witnessed it firsthand, and it was fad test. And not only that. It made me so happy. Like, I don't usually smile when I'm watching you do a set, but this time I was very giddy. Now, here's the thing about this particular set, and why this is particularly awful for me.

Normally, if I'm in a club, not everybody could read what's on your shirt. Yeah, that's a good point. People are, you know, they could just see the stage, but they don't really care. Yeah. That's why comics who wear, like, obnoxious t-shirts on stage could all go fuck themselves, attention horrors. But, like, this shirt. You're calling a stand-up comedian, an attention horror, you think? Well, that's kind of their job.

We're also notoriously narcissistic. So there you go there. But this had a camera directly in front of the stage that magnified me onto big giant screens. Yes. So that you could see my stuttering John T-shirt, all big and bright. I took photographs of the screen. that was showing you. Now, my photographs are not great, so I'm hoping that you have like professional photography of this. So there's a guy who was the club had taking pictures. I'm waiting

to get a copy of it. And as soon as I have the actual copy, we will post it. Yay! And you could all laugh at me because I lost. Oh, I can't wait for that. You know what? I have a new drop on my soundboard just for that. The kids are excited. I like the kids. I can't wait. It was really bad, dude. And it was a terrible situation to begin with because, number one, I would never wear a t-shirt, just a t-shirt on stage. It would never be something I would do. I always try to wear a shirt with a collar. Actually, let me point out, breaking down the fourth wall, that that day, Vinny texted me and it said, can I at least wear a blazer?

And I said, fuck no. The rules are you're wearing the t-shirt. You can't mention it. You can't address it. You have to stand there with your stupid Suttery John T-shirt on. Well, here's the other thing. Like, the club has a rule. if you go on stage, you're supposed to have a collar.

Oh, is that true? Yeah, absolutely. So I totally broke it. Did they tell Pete Davidson that? I don't remember him wearing a collar. Oh, headlanders could do whatever they want to. The rest of us scrubs can fuck our fuck right off and put a nice shirt. So, yeah, that made me uncomfortable.

So I'm wearing this t-shirt, and the t-shirt's too big for me, which is the other thing. Like, I got the big size, but it's way too big for me. So there are some... I can't wait for this picture to come out. I'm so excited about that. Doesn't the t-shirt look huge on me? I mean, everything looks huge on you, Bitty, to be honest. Larger than life.

Oh, my God. I could go camping in this shirt you're wearing right now. Probably so. It'd be a lovely tent material. Oh, boy. So that makes me a comfortable. Now, not to mention the fact that it's a stand-up show in a fucking parking lot. Now, it's drive-in style.

So you're standing on a stage. People are inside of their cars. They can hear you on the radio. You can't necessarily hear them. so I have no idea how I did I probably I don't even know you want to you want to rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 be honest you get to kick me in the balls if you want all right I have two comments about your show okay go ahead one of them is Jimmy Schubert was the headliner yeah and he came out with a COVID joke that I wish I had written I'm like oh how did I fucking miss that he goes I like my COVID like my girls 19 and easily spreadable and I went that's the joke that there's no better COVID joke yeah exactly then the thing that I wanted to talk about with you that I thought was really funny. You have this bit that you do and you come

up on stage and you're all upset and you're like, you know, having a bad day just came from a restaurant with my wife. That's not what I said. Not what I said. That's not what you said, correct. Because that's what you normally do to set up your bit. So this time you had to be like, guys, remember when you could go to restaurants and you could go out and eat at restaurants? Like, I did that once with my wife

and what I said was the last time we went out to eat before this. It was great. I was wondering if you're going to do that bit too because you always have to make it seem like this just happened. Well, that's the problem. You won't believe what just happened to me. I was in a restaurant five months ago, and my wife said. Yeah, there's no excuse for it.

But I did open up with the current joke. I did that bit as just a little soften everything up. And then I did a bunch of new, newish shit. How did you think you did, Vinny? Oh, I don't know, like a four. Yeah? Yeah. On a scale of one to one hundred.

Jeez, Louise. Yeah, it's not nice. Yeah, probably. By the way, I did Perez's Hilton's podcast yesterday. You did his podcast? For WATP. Oh, okay. We reviewed his.

And this drop. Jeez, Louise. It's my favorite drop right now. I'm going to be using it throughout the show. That's fine. Let's keep it. All right. I would also like to comment that this week's episode,

I think I fixed everything should be 100% computer sound free. Oh, yeah. I saw the people who were giving you tips about how to turn off the Microsoft Windows sounds. That's right, folks. That's folks. I listened to you. So I'm the people's champ Yeah, good job

God damn it Oh shit Oh god damn it Oh god damn it Are we on a AOL yet? What's going on? Is this streaming? Is this streaming?

Um, Carl You want to do the creep off? Um, yeah, let's do the creep off Here we go Hi everyone I guess you're up first Oh, so we should mention So you did win which sucks

Yep So this is game point for you You're up four to one If you win this week, I have to spin the wheel of consequences. Yes, next week you would be spinning the wheel. This is not going to happen because I'm definitely going to beat you today. But go ahead. The wheels had some updates.

Honestly, we spun it not too long ago. So it still doesn't feel as fresh as it maybe could be. But the only thing we really added was the only fans account. You would have to start your own only fans account if you lose. That could be fun. Do an album of Nick Bates covers. Love it? Wear Crocs in public.

Wait, do an album of Nick Bates covers? Yeah, I think an album. Oh, shit. Yeah, I think that's about right. Sounds good. An EP. Okay, so, yeah, you'd have to spin the wheel. I am going to tell you guys a story about the worst person on the internet that I could find

this week. And it was really hard. There was a lot of things I wanted to talk about. There was a lot of directions I could have gone on GamePoint. But this story is so fucking unreal, I could not not use this. Okay. So I, this is a last minute change, folks. I switched gears.

Oh, is this is the guy that you told me yesterday. This is the guy, but I had a whole plan going into yesterday. Okay. And this is so messed up. I had to do it. Okay. So Richmond, California, the cops were called to a home and what looks to be like a lower middle class neighborhood.

They were called by the daughter of 90-year-old Ruby Wallach. Okay. Officers entered the residence and found 30, year old, Dwayne Wallach standing over his 90-year-old grandmother, Ruby.

Dwayne was actively using his hands to assault the victim's neck and head law enforcement officials said. You know what's funny is I just breathed the side of relief.

I thought he was going to be fucking her. Isn't that weird? I'm like, oh, he's just beating the shit out of her. Okay, thank God. He actually did

the opposite of fucking her. Okay. I thought it was going to be like a Bukaki thing. I was like, oh, God, this is going to be gross. No.

No. No. How do I say this? I don't know. I'm sorry. The cops were, they saw him still beating her. They had to tase him. He had been the grandmother's primary caregiver is what they found out.

This guy was in charge of taking care of the grandmother. Didn't do a very good job. What's his relationship to the-grandson? It's his grand. Okay. So Ruby's grandson is he 37-year-old, Duane. Who's in charge of taking care of her. Gotcha.

The police have shown up. He's standing over the woman, hitting her about the neck and the head. and he was also according to police digging into her flesh with his hands and eating her raw body what an asshole this is a fun show that we do isn't it many

the police spokesman added four officers physically had to restrain him to get him into handcuffs while doing so he was continuing to assault and eat his grandmother was he on bath salts they don't know they took him to the hospital and they specifically said

that they did not take him for psychiatric evaluation which seems like they must have the worst cops on the fucking planet. Yeah. Ruby Wallach was pronounced dead at the scene.

They believed that Wallach had used a knife and an ice pick to murder her before he started eating her. I mean, I guess if someone's 90 years old, you don't have to cook them first.

I don't know. Is it like, are you supposed... I mean... ...cooked at room temperature for 90 years? Like, banana's only last two weeks on the fucking

counter. This lady's around 90 years. I mean, normally I find cannibalism to be hilarious but this is pretty gross. Yeah, and they, so they asked him, they said, why did you do that? Yeah. And his response was, he tries to be crazy

my house. Waka Waka. Waka. He ate his grandma. I do like to. If I was listening to this, who actually knew that that was a fine young cannibal's reference from the 80s, that that would have been funny to them. Yep. So about 0.2% of the people listen to them.

You're home for morning radio humor. Perfect. By the way, I did a whole segment on Kimberly and Beck getting fired on WATP this weekend. I know them. Yes. They are no longer on the radio. You know, I'm friends with the producer who was in the room during that. It was his second day back.

He was working. He was the guy going, you can't say that? Yep, that was him. I love that. That's bad. I don't think you know what you're saying right now. It's so fucking funny.

Your line was priceless to me. Anthony Coombeo would have told her to tone it down. What was she thinking? Well, at least she didn't, you know, murder and eat her grandmother. If you want to know what we're talking about, listen to who are these podcasts?

Who are these dot com? Everybody. That is good advice. Are we done with your creep this week? If you don't want any more any fine young cannibals, then we're good. Okay, sounds good. So I'm going to take us to Seminole County in Florida. There's a man named Grant Amato, who is my creep this week.

And Grant Amato is a 29-year-old nurse. He's really into cam girls. You ever see these cam girls? Are you familiar with this? I know of them, yes. Yeah, so apparently what happens is... Those internet temptresses. Yes, what these girls do is they get on a webcam, dittle themselves.

With various objects. So you do know about this. Okay, good, good. I just assumed. I mean, people are going to get bored. They dittle themselves, and you can then give them money, and for some reason they'll talk to you if you give them money, and that's part of this. so this guy Grant Amato is really into this cam girl

and he's got a crush on her and he wants to give her money so it's like that movie with Joaquin Phoenix in the cell phone I've never seen that movie but sure okay has anyone seen that movie he's just in love with the idea of her right yeah well I mean this woman is communicating with him directly

sending him like she has his address sending him cards in the mail and all this kind of stuff. So she's going the extra mile. She's not just a cam girl. She's like... Well, this is how this industry works actually. I've learned about this recently, actually, from Dick Masterson's show. He had a guy on who ran one of these

things. And the way they make their money is they prey on the 2% of people who can't just watch a girl jerk off, jerk off themselves and move on. They need to form relationship. I guess it's kind of like the same as strip clubs. Like some guys go there and think that they're

dating the stripper because they pay attached to him. It's a very pathetic thing, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Wow. They found something more pathetic than being the guy who brings roses to the stripper at the strip club. Well, it's similar. It's actually very similar to that. I think you nailed it. So, Grant

Amato, he's 29 years old. He's living with his parents and he is really into this cam girl. Problem is, he doesn't have a lot of money. So we have to figure out other ways. Now, he's got a brother named Cody, and Cody's Cody, a motto? This is Cody's girlfriend on part of this problem here.

Okay, so, oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. So the girlfriend is the Camgirl? No. This is Grant's brother Cody's girlfriend. Cody's girlfriend mentioned that over the past several months, there had been issues with Grant and also claimed Grant stolen in excess of $60,000 from his brother Cody, in addition to stealing his guns, selling them without Cody's consent. According to the court documents, Grant Amato was placed voluntarily into a rehab facility in South Florida due to his mental instability. Okay. So this guy was stealing money from his brother and also stealing his property, his guns.

Uh-huh. And then selling them for money just to give it to this girl and why would he do that? I have a question. Yeah, go ahead. I have a question. Sure. Did their grandmother remain uneaten? Well, we'll get to that.

Okay. Grant was stealing money from his family so he could remain in contact with the female webcam model from Bulgaria, in which he thought he was having a relationship. Bulgaria! Later, investigators learned that Grant stole approximately $200,000 from his own family. It means to purchase interaction time with this sex industry worker. Okay. So, $200,000 he's giving to this girl who he's, he's,

obsessed with online. Hold on. Hold on a second. She must be the queen of Bulgaria now. $200,000. Yeah. I've watched a documentary on this guy. She's driving around in an Audi. She's got a lot of money. She's doing very well. All she needs is one guy. And $200,000 sounds like a lot of money. But wait until you find out what time elapsed that he was giving her this money. Jason alerted police that his younger brother Grant spent more than $200,000 in only a three-month period of time of a Bulgarian woman. $200,000 in three months.

Like, I bet she would have given you attention for $10,000. I think you're, I think you're giving her too much there. I mean, buddy, slow down. Like, don't go to the high rollers table up front, bud. So this put the family in a bit of a pickle because Vinny, as you can imagine, if the 29-year-old son is jerking off to internet porn that costs $200,000 a quarter, there's going to be some problems. According to investigators, the family was in turmoil. Amato's parents put him in a sex and internet addiction rehab clinic. Amato allegedly siphoned off thousands from them to pay for chat. and buy gifts for a Bulgarian woman he met on an adult website.

Okay. They say, listen, Grant, you got a problem. You're going to rehab. And what kind of bullshit rehab is that? Sex rehab? I mean, is that a real thing? Everyone in there looks like you. Well, that would make you not want to have sex, I imagine.

So this is, now, how long did he spend in rehab is your next question? I have the answer. So, okay, hold on. So this is, at what point in the three-month period that he gave it $200,000 after? It wasn't like during this was happening that they put him in the rehab. He had already spent $200,000. Correct. Okay.

Yeah. Grant Amato was enrolled in a 60-day program and means to treat his internet porn and sex addiction. However, he only completed roughly 14 days before returning back home on January 5th, 2019. Grant told detectives that he'd gone into a heated argument with his dad on January 24. 2019 and was ultimately kicked out of the house because Grant continued to communicate with the Bulgarian cam model over the internet. Grant met her on an adult website called Cam Girls and was in communication with her since June of 2018. So this guy goes to rehab, leaves after two weeks, he's like, this isn't for me, I'm going to go back home. It gets to do a fight with his father.

Now I can imagine that his dad was like, you know, son, I don't want to try to live your life, you're an adult now, but Speckvorka loves me! Could you maybe stop giving a million dollars a year to a woman in Bulgaria who you think has nice tits? Could you maybe not do that? And Grant did not

like that he was being talked to like that. So they got into a heated argument. So what do you do, Stormoff? They got into a heated argument. Slam a couple doors? He slammed a door or two. And then he decided to go back to the house later. And he

did not take kindly to the words his father told him. A motto, a 29-year-old former nurse, murdered his family members inside their home located in Chulowalta, Florida on January 25th, 2019. This guy shot his father,

his mother, and one of his brothers while they were in their house because he was sick of their shit. Listen, I'm going to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'm going to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars and give it to some horror on the internet. And you can't stop me, all right? That's what's going down here.

Now, fortunately, this creep was caught. He tried to stage a murder suicide scenario. Well, he got half of it done so at that point. Yes, correct. The murder part nailed it. Cops would totally agree with that part. Suicide part, not so much. The reason was he wanted to make it seem like his dad was pulling his gun out and shooting up everybody and then shot himself.

But he didn't even get the holster right on his father. The prosecutor said evidence shows that Grant Amato moved his dead parents and brothers' bodies after he killed them. A crime scene text set a holster and a gun seemingly placed on the hip of Grant's dad just didn't seem right, since he was right-handed. If you were carrying it the way that he has it and you're right-handed, you would have to pull it out awkwardly, point it at yourself, and then point it towards somebody to fire it. So he haphazardly put a whole store around his father and say, all right, they're going to think this is a murder suicide. We're good here. And I just have one more question for you, Mr. Amato.

Perfect. So Grant Amato is my creep this week and going to need the win here, people. Okay, so here's the thing. Here's the thing. How did he kill everybody? Shot them in the head. So he didn't use an ice picker or a knife? His parents and brother.

Did he try to... He stole over $200,000 from them. Right. Jerked off with that and then murdered them. Correct. I mean, if you're trying to make a case, if this guy isn't a creep, I don't think that's the way to go. Oh, Carl. I don't think that's the way to go.

You have me all wrong. That guy's a creep. He absolutely is. Yeah. But my guy is an insane creep. Yeah, but this is... He ate his grandmother. This is the creep off?

This guy is a jerk-off creep off creep off. off. This is, I'm telling you, I am the winner by far this week. It's not even close. Okay. You had your chance. What would he have done? What would he have done if the other granddaughter didn't come in and find her? Right? What would he have been doing the rest

of the fucking day, Carl? I'm guessing this. Probably. Gonna stick it in Anna's butt. Gonna do it in Anna's butt. All right. Whistling Dixie, Carl? Dude, did we get any voicemails? We did. We actually had some really interesting

ones this week. Okay, good. let me pull them up so let's see Grant Amato Remember to vote Thecreepoff.com Geez Louise

One of our favorite voicemailers left us a message I'm going to turn off the fan I never know when I'm supposed to start Oh Jesus Christ Hey guys

It's Professor retard again Who the fuck is clicking their computer mouse The entire episode. It's driving me fucking crazy here. Click, click, click in my ear and I'm trying to drive to work. Cut it out.

Okay, call me back. Hold on, Carl. I'm having a problem over here. The answer to that question is Vinnie Paulino. Is someone clicking his mouse and typing and all the other fucking noise that you hear? It's all him. This guy was kind of mean to us.

Okay. What the fuck is up? you boomers. I'd like to nominate Vinnie Perlindo for that fucking heightily doodily shit he does at the beginning

of every episode. God damn it. Agreed. The gayest shit I've ever heard. And like, God fucking damn, Vinnie. Come up with a better

intro. Carl, you're pretty gay too, but like Vinnie, dude, hideily dittily, hodily, whatever. what the fuck are you that dude from the simpsons go fuck yourself way to get the joke shit that is the that is exactly the joke for fuck sake carl's band is called the isotopes we like the simpsons around here we're fans Jesus Christ this one is very

interesting this was a scoop that uh I honestly am shocked someone sent us and didn't send to somebody like Alex Jones or somebody in the real media you know Lenny Dykstra did Sandy Hook, that is all Yes! That's what I'm saying! I heard Lenny Dykstra put a hit out on Carol Baskins. Yes! Yeah! He was also the guy who they hired to kill Carol Baskins.

He did it all! He didn't need a middle man. What are you working with nails? Now this is... I'm obsessed with this thing that you can say anything you want about Winnie Dixir. It's not bad. I love it. I got yelled out by my wife and I was like,

no, honey, it was Lenny Dister who was sneaking into the french eating handfuls of lunch meat. She's like, he doesn't even have teeth. He's not eating the lunchmead, Vinnie. I'm not buying it. All right. So this next call comes in. Actually, this is amazing. One of my creeps from a few weeks ago called in, Carl.

My actual creep decided to call the show, and he's not too happy with us. Hello, this is Professor Wilhelm. And I am calling the fat one and also Vini. You, you have ruined me, not the news media, not my parents who are very big into Twitter and see what I do, but no, the fat one in Vinny from the creep off, have ruined my life. I have lost my doctorate in whatever I had it in. longer be referred to as professor or intelligent. I now walk the streets as imbysail. Wilhelm. Also, Lenny Dexter is a Hamasradite, born with both male and female genitalia. And at this very moment, he's telling,

Notty photos on the internet. Shall I send them to his mommy? Jeez, Louise. I love Professor Will Hel. That's amazing. Immissile Will Hel. It's the best. That's good.

Well done, sir. Very well done. Okay, so, Carl. Why do we even do a show? We should just play voicemail. Yeah. Did you try that once? It doesn't go over a while.

Can you find an annoying person who works in a pastry shop to come in and read the dust? Fuck you, biddy. Hey, fuck you. Oh, yeah, you got a stink. I have elbows. Fucking stupid. She posted a picture of her legs in the Discord yesterday, and the Discord blew up. She blew up the Discard.

Yeah. Great. I'm one of those assholes who talks about shit, assuming everyone knows what I'm talking about. I apologize. Yeah. Well, listen. There's going to be some bleed over from WATP to this show. I hope so.

I hope so, too. Jesus Christ. Okay, so we're going to start in South Dakota today, Carl, for the scum parade. Let's hit some music, shall we? Oh, the scum parade is happening. The scum parade, these are my peeps. The scum parade is nothing but creeps. The scum parade.

You're all the landing show. You're uploading the episode as we do it here. Oh, sorry about that. Again, I don't know what's going on. It's my fault. So, like I said, we're starting in South Dakota. A couple, Lance Long 36 and Crystal Ann Long 40 of Sioux Falls have been charged with aggravated assault with a dangerous weapon,

abuse, cruelty to a minor, and numerous other counts. They sound great. More specifically, they are accused of giving four children illegal drugs and zapping them with a cattle prod to get them to comply with orders. Did you catch that? I did. Are you clicking something? I'm not the one on trial here, Minnie.

You tried to frame me. I didn't do those. I'm not the one on trial here. Crystal Ann Long are. Their children, a 17-year-old male, a 15-year-old female, a 13-year-old male, and 11-year-old male have been abused for at least three years. The couple had given the children meth and marijuana and shocked them with the cattle prod to get them to obey. How are you going to get kids to finish their chores if you're not giving them crystal meth? That's what I'm saying. These days, you're competing with video games and webcam girls. You got Minecraft. I mean, what are they going to do? They're going to make their bed or they're going to put

blocks on top of each other. I'm just saying, Carl. You could get a sex slave to shove a banana in her ass. That's the world we live in. Do you think they're going to make their fucking bed? For $130,000. Yeah, but a low-o price of $130,000, a chick will shove a banana anywhere you want or to. And you think you're going to get these kids to do their daily chores? You got to give them some math. There needs to be some incentive there. And a little weed to bring him down.

Yeah, the weed part. The weed part was weird because when I read that they were giving him illegal drugs. I was like, okay. I mean, a lot of 15-year-old smoke weed. I don't know if that's a big deal. And then it led with meth. I was like, oh, well, yep, okay. I can see where that. By the way, is that not the wheel of consequences yet? Smoking meth.

Well, you're going to find out next week. No, fuck that shit. Okay. So here's the weird part about this. They got caught because the 17-year-old son enlisted in the Marines. Yeah. And he told the recruiter. He's like, yeah.

well, you know, my parents give us meth and stuff to comply. Are you going to do that in the Marines? Like, the kid is, like, legitimately didn't realize that, like, it was a problem. That's, I guess that's what happens when you spoke bath when you're a kid. You become stupid. Yeah, no fucking shit. Patriotic. You wanted to serve his country.

We're not going to talk down this fine young man. No. The family member was called by the recruiter. And another family member, I guess the aunt or uncle called the police and prompted the investigation and led to all the charges. So yeah, cool parents, right? It's, uh, when my dad let me try a beer. Vinny, I just want to say that there's no right or wrong way to parent. And we're all just trying to figure out the best way, but there's really no blueprint for it.

You're right, Carl. You know what I think. I think you should have a license to have a kid. Oh boy, hot takes. Here we go. Hot takes. Hot takes. Jesus Christ. Can we do a hot takes to weird news? Can you get the Jiggles Department to like get off her ass? Come on and some der Raid stories that are very strange. Hot takes. I love it. All right. Former NFL linebacker for the Jacksonville Jaguars,

Telvin Smith was arrested last week. Are you familiar with Telvin Smith Car? I am now. Well, he's like an 81 if you're playing Madden. Smith 29 is accused of having sex with a 17-year-old girl multiple times. Yes. Now, the unnamed minor is believed to. who have first met Smith in August of 2019 while at work.

I'm guessing, like, I don't know, the supermarket? Where else to you while you're 17-year-olds? It's not an accounting firm, that's for sure. Right, exactly, right. It's not like it was in a business professional setting. Yeah. Unless it was like, take your daughter at a work day. At which point, she said she informed him that she was a minor.

Now, this is according to her. Despite her age, the two reportedly began talking and met up within days. Smith took her to his home, where they had sex in his home theater and in his bedroom. She alleged, following the encounter... Why does it matter where they had sex? I'm just telling you what she said. If where they had sex was in the butt, then it would be interesting, but the bedroom is not. It's the worst game of clue.

It was in the butt, in the bedroom. Following the encounter, Smith allegedly offered the victim $200. Yeah, was he watching the Jeffrey Epstein documentary? He's like, oh, that's how he got away with it. Just give $200. You're good to go. Sh! That's the secret.

Jesus. I don't know. Like, you're number one. She's a young lady. Yeah. And you don't need to treat her like a prostitute. She slept with her own free will. It was just kind of whatever.

You're always paying for sex, my friend. Whether it's money or other things, it always costs something. If it's the blood of your family. Yeah, of course. And all of their wealth. By the way. You're paying for it. I want to point something out.

And I'm not trying to be a creep on the creep off here. But 17 is legal in New York State. Where we live, Vinny, we could have sex with a 17-year-old, no problems. But down in Jacksonville, this guy's a creep now because he wants a smoking-hot 17-year-old. I don't find that... You know what? The only problem I have with the story is there's nothing less attractive than a tattletail. You're not making yourself attractive, young lady, by going around and telling...

Kissing and telling. Yeah, I mean, this is tell and tales out of school here. no one needs to know about this. Well, this girl actually does have some morals, Carl. I will give her that. No, let me explain to you why. Because when he offered her that $200, she said she only took half

of it. I know. What was this? She's like, well, listen, I am a whore, but I'm also a cheap horror. There's no way I would except $200. She then said Smith and her told, Smith told the girl to keep their encounter a secret because he could, quote, go to jail.

If anyone asked, he told her to say that he was her mentor. Is she trying to be an NFL linebacker? How was that going to work? I tell everybody, I'm your mentor. Maybe she was going to transition and try out. She ran a good 40, I heard. Yeah, she's a 4-140.

The teenager told Belize that she met Smith, the second time a few days later at a local shopping mall, and they had sex in his car. You know what's sad about this story as I was reading it? All I was thinking was, I miss sports. Yeah. I wish sports was on still. I mean, if they were in training camp right now, we wouldn't be having these problems.

Right. It's like, oh, this guy's a linebacker, a what? For the Jaguars, the who? Yep. What are we talking about? Exactly. Not even in my mind anymore. All right.

Andrew Cook, 30 years old, we're going across the pond to London to a very, very fancy school, the Hampton School, where students pay $20,000 pounds per year to attend there. So that's no big, that's no small. price. I mean, that's the salary of I mean, not even one Bulgarian Camgirl, but it's still a lot of money. I mean, I could fund it with our Patreon, but still, it's a lot

of money. Right, for sure. Not only was he fired recently, he was convicted of 37 sexual offenses involving dozens of boys age between 13 and 17. Jones tricked the boys into

getting naked on camera, making, quote, pick-for-pick requests while posting as a 16-year-old girl under the name Anne Jones. He thought he needed to pose as a teenage girl to get boys to jerk off on the internet. Yes. I think it's more difficult to get teenage boys

to not jerk off on a webcam than it is to get them to jerk off on a webcam. That's all they want to do. I mean, that's why they've been having so many problems with these Zoom meetings. Right. It's well documented that people can't keep their dick in their pants when the webcam is on.

on one occasion he pretended to be his female cousin while talking to a boy online who he sent photos of a topless female and asked for nude pictures in return the ex rowing coach pled guilty to 37 counts of grooming boys to pose naked for him and possessing 53 in decent images of children victims recalled feeling quote embarrassed awful and physically six when they discovered that anne jones was not in fact a smoking hot chick from the internet it was their rowing coach what's the difference I hate this idea that there's victims. I hate this idea that there are victims involved. Oh, I was jerking off on the internet, and I thought I was jerking off to this thing, but I was actually jerked up to that thing. Like, whatever. The article.

Come or what? It's fine. What's the difference? The article also makes the point that the victim said that they trusted him and regarded him as a friend. Yeah. A friend with benefits. Yeah, right.

Oh, fucking dumb kids. But they got the picture of the, The 16-year-old girl Toplis, right? Yeah. All right, so what are we talking about here? You're embarrassed, okay? This guy's going to go to jail now because you're embarrassed. Oh, the hormones.

Oh, to be younger, guys. I was embarrassed a lot during high school, a lot, many, many times. High school, college. Yesterday. Right. The fuck. What cares? Well, at least you didn't have to stand on a stage in a stuttering John t-shirt yesterday.

I honestly, Vinny, this is your crowding achievement in life. Fuck you. I'm so happy that this happened. All right. Our last story, we're going to stay over there in London. Deca Ahmed 41 turned up at the house of Sylvester Rullis 28 during the lockdown on April 15th and messaged him saying, Surprise, I'm downstairs. I've got a bottle of wine. Sounds nice, right? She's pretty cute, too.

Yeah, she's definitely an attractive lady. However, when he poured the wine into water glasses rather than wine glasses, she flew into her rage and threw it at him he dodged out of the way and it was smashed into a cabinet Ahmed then slapped him around the face ten times taunting him saying that

she could hit him as much as she want because she's a lady and she won't leave bruises sounds like she spent some time in juvie this one the roommate then tried to stop then she started hitting the roommate with her belt like she pulled her belt out and just started to whip in the fucking guy So the two of her are being chased around by this woman who's upset

Because they didn't put the wine in a proper wine glass Wait until she finds out they sell wine in boxes She's gonna lose her shit over that You can't put a wine in a box? What are you insane? She's a fucking take her heel off and put it in somebody's eye Yeah By the way, I want to just say

Oh there's more to the story. Oh yeah, there is, but this gets funnier Yes, it does So he says The Mr. Rollis said She got super aggressive if it started fighting my flatmate trying to kick him. And then I realized this is out of control

and we have to call the police. Somehow we managed for her to get outside of the door. So they basically pushed her out the door. Then she started being really loud outside the door. It was super loud. Quote, afterwards she was outside banging the door. Suddenly it was silent. And we were standing inside and looking

what was going on outside. He said she was then urinating and shitting on my front door. Police officers arrived and tried to pin her her down. They took four officers to pin her down as well. That's how many officers it takes to pin down a guy eating their grandmother, just so you know. All right. Enough with that. She'll be sentenced at Crown Court at a later date. She's currently in custody on various charges. This girl dropped a deuce on the front doorstep. Yep, over a wine glass. Because the guy didn't pour the

wine into a wine glass. I got to say this girl sounds fun. Like my wife doesn't even fart in front of me, let alone drop a deuce in the hallway. I think this girl sounds fun. She does. She does. does sound kind of fun. I mean, I'd like to maybe be a acquaintance of her, not a close friend. Yeah, I could just imagine if she was on like one of those dating apps, it would just say, unpredictable. I think, I like that. Why doesn't Telvin Smith go for a girl

like her? She probably keeps her mouth shut. She's 41. Oh, solid point. That's gross. All right. Well, that's this week's episode of The Creepoff. Remember, folks, it is Game Point. It's important to vote this week. It is. Vote for Carl because remember Grant Amato looks a lot like Maddo let me ask you folks a question have you ever looked at a senior

citizen and thought delicious no but you have is there anything you haven't looked at that you thought that was delicious all right leave me alone I'm sorry I'm being mean now

now I'm just being mean it's because I turn the fan off it's getting hot in here this is all my fault all right end the fucking show already. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. Gigia. That t-shirt really fucking sucked, Carl. Schubert looked at me wearing it, and I go, you're a fan of Stuttering John, and you go to me,

and he goes, why? Yeah, that's a good question. Why? Who? Who is a fan of Sethery, Jan? Why? So did you explain to him that you lost it back? Yeah, he walked away in the middle of my story. He was a waitress walked by. And I'm on a show, my friend Carl and I. Yeah, he's like, whatever.