The Creep Off - Episode 141: Stupid Masterminds

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

This week we follow Creeps-giving with our very first "Black Friday" themed episode: In WATC Karl discovered a brand-new true crime podcast that claims to be about the victims, not the criminals. Did we mention it is hosted by Patrick Michael?: In the scum parade we meet a tattoo artist with a checkered past, newlyweds and a full-time mom/part-time bad doctor. Here are the linksMan Pleads To Tattooing Minor Inside McDonald's | The Smoking GunFormer Limestone County teacher now married to student in alleged sex crime | WHNT.comFlorida med spa doctor accused sexually abusing sedated patients: police | Fox NewsMinnesota mom allegedly took son’s blood, forced siblings to dispose of it in scheme to fake illness | Fox NewsGrab your KRAMPUS T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE HERE

Whoa, Carl, I'm glad you made it. Me too, buddy. It's pretty hairy out there on Cyber Monday. I'm reading our chat right now, and boy, our people are like, Where's the fucking show? I'm sorry, I'll be better. No, you won't. No, I will.

I got a behind today. I got a little behind. Oh, what was his name? Ah, I see what you did. All right, let's start the show. Let's start the show. Hey, everyone, welcome to the creep off. This is a competition podcast where you vote on who brought in the biggest creep.

What's the creep? The person you least likely want to stay on your couch during the holidays. After five losses, the loser must spin the dreaded wheel of consequences, which includes funny consequences such as getting knife chops from Colin Delaney, or taking a parlay against my precious jags, Carl. Hey everyone, Tucker Dixon here. Wishing you and yours a happy holiday season from the creep off. And remember, always share your crack, and never marry an old woman. That's all I got. Tucker, out.

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo! on Black Friday then you better beware of violence lining up outside of the store

mob riots everybody cramps for the door fist fighting blood is gonna cover the floors and people kill each other for a PS4 Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast. The show about creeps. Bye creeps. For you, creeps. I'm your host.

My name is Vinny. And joining me in studio today, it's hot. Cacca, Carla. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? I'll tell you a quick story about. Tucker Dix. I was messaging with him yesterday. Producer Chris and I lost $350

on a 14 parlay. Did you happen to catch the end of that Jaguars game? I didn't see anything yesterday because I was in a car coming back from Alabama. Ah, yes, you had your holiday weekend down south. So, yeah, so why don't you complain to me a little bit more about your life?

So anyway, Baltimore was up by two scores with three minutes to go in the game. All we needed was Baltimore to win. just money line that's all we needed don't they give up a drive to the Jaguars and the Jaguars get the ball back they're driving down

the guy catches a touchdown in the end zone with one foot and bounce one foot you watched football before right Vinny professional football? Yeah on occasion I've watched it sure that's not a touchdown so they go to the replay they come back out like yep that's a touchdown and then they get a two point conversion to win the game I still

if someone could please explain to me I've never heard of an ankle is the same as two feet I've never heard that In my life, it's bullshit. I hate the Jagu Lines. I don't care, I don't care. Way to start the show. Well, Tucker brought it up, so I needed to address that.

You just can't get past football. Your team barely beat the Lions. You have plenty of other things to be upset by. Sure. Good one. As a Dolphins fan, I'm thrilled with life. Good. But I'll tell you what I'm not thrilled with.

The results from last week's episode. Oh, boy. What do we got going out over here, Vinny? What's the voting? Carl, congratulations. You won Chris. creepness or creeps giving Yeah, 65 to 56

That was a close one But just like Just like 28 to 25 a win's a win And I will take it That means we are tied up one to one In this round of the creep off Is that correct? That is correct

All right Now Carl I had to spend the wheel You're getting the Patreon money this week That's fine Which I lost Because the fucking Jaguar's got a fake touchdown Oh there is justice

Oh, you know what? There goes my money. You know what? I'm almost a Jaguars fan now. Holy shit. Oh, man. All right. Yeah, we're not just like all this shitty Florida teams there, Biddy.

Let's go bucks. You know what, man? There's nothing you're going to say that's not going to make me feel better now. Now I'm happy. Like, I thought you were to buy yourself something really nice for Christmas. No, you're just wasting on gambling. Yep. No, I just wasted it on stupid bad calls in the NFL.

I was just trying to imagine what you could build with all the empties from that $1,000 worth the high noon cans. Yeah. That'd be a pretty cool fort. Yeah. Vinnie, I want to thank my sister-in-law, Chaos Queen, for my Jerry Banfield shirt. It's quite lovely.

Jerry Banfield show. She was able to recreate it. I wanted to give Jerry money, but she just created it for me, so maybe I'll throw them on some PayPal or something. Wouldn't that be sweet of you? Wouldn't it be? It's just going straight to the creditors.

Now, Carl, what logically follows Thanksgiving? Cyber Monday, baby. Well, it's not Cyber Monday. It's Super Chat Monday. Oh, Super Chat Monday. But. Yeah, get your Super Chats in. We're rid of at the end.

We're going to call today Black Friday Monday because that's what it is. Today we are going to talk about the follow-up to Thanksgiving, the day that nobody likes, nobody cares about, but yet it's somehow a thing in fucking America. Yeah, it's less and less of a thing. Thank goodness. But it is a very fun day for psychopaths, which I found out from a little website called Black Friday Deathcount. dot com did you find that while researching your creep this week mini carl i didn't that's hilarious there is a website black friday death dot com death count dot com and it's just links to all of the chaos that goes on during those amazing black friday deals so you picked something just off

of this website i take it i found a pretty fun story going back 11 years in los angeles california at you won't believe it a walmart apparently they had a pretty good deal going on uh The home of Black Friday. Xbox 360s, half off, Vinny. Limited quantities. So you got to get there. You got to make it happen. And my creep this week, boy, did she make it happen.

Let's get started. Do it. Vinny, will you play my Black Friday one video? This is a report from Fox News. Black Friday shopping off to a painful start for shoppers at a Los Angeles area of Walmart. Please say that a woman sprayed fellow shoppers is. actually happened with pepper spray in the pack store, Bob DeCastro, from our Los Angeles facility at KTTZ, is live in Puerto Ranch, California. So Bob, what is the latest? Oh, shit.

Oh, my gosh. Well, to boot, this woman is still sort of on the loose. Police are still looking for her. I asked the cops why, how she was able to actually pepper spray a group of people and then walk out of the store. Well, apparently there was so much mayhem after she pepper sprayed, even children and inside the store trying to get to this Xbox 360 that they didn't know who did what and she was able to get to the rest of her. Holy shit. I'm going to pause it right there.

Can we discuss this line in front of this fucking Walmart? Look at what's going on. This is pandemonium. After this woman pepper sprayed all these people. A giant crowd of people. I have video of that coming up. Oh, I can't wait. And so now we're looking at the aftermath.

There are emergency vehicles there. There's just hordes of people all outside of this Walmart and a strip mall. And Vinny, I don't know if you caught what they were just talking about. This woman pepper sprayed 20 people, including children, and then was able to get to the register with the X-Pax and she bought it and left. They didn't catch her. She's just like, there's all these people behind her going, ah, my eye. She's like, all right.

She's like, all right, just walked right out, skipping. Listen, I'm going to tell you guys something, and I'm not trying to be Carl and give advice, but if you were going to do this, this is pretty smart. Because you could conceal proper spray pretty easily, and it goes pretty far. And so you just spray it. You do this thing, but you're like, oh, gosh, geez, you know, act like you're one of the victims. Run away with the thing. under your arm going, oh, my eyes.

Yeah, you got to yell my eyes my eyes. My eyes. My eyes. I better get out here after I make my purchase. All right. Back in a little bit. I bet you was standing at the line going a bunch of savages in this house. You know she's commenting on that. Who would do such a thing? This is the worst.

Check out and get the Xbox 360 at half price. It's what she really wanted. People being carted off in ambulances. 20 people were injured. What police are calling shop and rage. That's a little much. When she went in and tried to get this Xbox 360, and there was apparently a huge scrum in the store, people scrambling to try and get this merchandise, and she was able to ward off those competitive shoppers and get exactly what she wanted. Oh, no.

All right, so this video is from Headline News, and this is actually, I don't know if it's surveillance footage or someone's cell phone recording the aftermath of this pepper spread. And this is a big crowd of people looking to get some Xboxes here. Outside, it looked like a nightclub. Right, yeah. My eyes are pretty. My eyes. My eyes. A woman who allegedly sprayed the Walmart shoppers in the face with pepper spray on Black Friday,

people presume this is because she wanted to get at some deals, has turned herself in at least 10 people in California, needed medical treatment after the incident. Now, look at that crowd. Look, I mean, there's just so many people. Witnesses have said the woman. and was trying to clear her paths so that she could get at some discounted video games. That's a mother who loves her kids.

Dude, I wish I could have done the porn challenge in that place. Now, that would have been some fun right there. That looked like the Mosh Piton and No Effects concert. That looked like a good time. You should just wear your handicapped sticker around your neck. I don't have a handicapped sticker. Oh, you don't have one? I don't have a handicapped sticker, you asshole.

I just assumed you kept it. I dare you. All right. Should I keep this video going? Yeah, yeah. Let's hear from me. There's plenty of witnesses out there. There's a surveillance video from the store themselves,

and people have captured her image all over the place. And, you know, it was only a matter of time before detectives did find her. So we're glad that she did turn herself in and is cooperating with the investigation. I bet she paid with a credit card, too. She's not charged with a crime yet because police say that they are still investigating what happened. My word. All right. So obviously that was cell phone footage.

I apologize for questioning whether that was or not. It pretty obviously was. So who does she think she is? She's going to, like, pull an Alec Baldwin to be. Like, it just, it just went off. Yeah, right. I had everyone check it. It's not me.

It's not my fault. So, Elizabeth Macias, she as you just heard. I never keep live pepper spray in my purse. As you just heard, Elizabeth Macias did turn herself in. And so fast forward a week after that, I found some news articles about this. And it said that this incident was reviewed for a felony consideration. But it did not meet the felony filing criteria. Los Angeles County DA spokeswoman.

Chira de Villa Morales. We did file it under F, though. For funny. Yes. Macias isn't completely out of the woods yet, though. The DA referred to the case of the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office for misdemeanor filing consideration. The prosecutors in our Chatsworth branch are reviewing the paperwork right now, said the city's attorney spokesperson. The DA's charge evaluation worksheet released Thursday, noted that from numerous accounts and video recordings.

By all accounts, the store had timed the release of the merchant. merchandise and a large crowd was lined up to wait for the merchandise to be released. As the unveiling approach, the crowd swarmed and there was pushing and people falling. Store security and employees had lost control of the crowd. It was during this time when the pepper spray was released into the air or at specific shoppers. So what Los Angeles is saying, because they are the worst at prosecuting anybody for anything, even with all this video, even though the woman turned herself in, there's video, there's all this chip. They're like, yeah, but Walmart was kind of being in. assholes for like letting this crowd gather

and then making the merchandise available It's always the company's fault. This emboldened people The next year they're like this lady with the Pepper Spray got away with it. Some dude showed up He had a morning star. He was just waiting over his head. Yeah, right. Why not? I mean, they're just going to be like, well, it's not a felony. Just wanted to get an Xbox.

So apparently no charges were pressed against this woman. She got her Xbox. At all? No. So she got away with this. And the Xbox was half price. 2011 got an Xbox 360. So good on her. She did it.

So I'm going to go ahead and just say, not a creep. Oh, totally a creep. Genius. Dude. Strategy. All right. And not a crime. What about this, buddy?

Let's say they're releasing wrestling figures. And it's the wrestling figure you've been wanting for average. Which one is that, Carl? You're there in line. Oh, I have them all already. Well, there's a new one. They just created a brand new one. There is.

Oh, sorry. Who's the guy who had the wrestling figure E-Rox sent me a wink to it. Scott, no, Todd Pentingill because he used to be like a ring announcer for WWF. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was announcing his own figure. Let's say the Todd Pettengill figure was being made available at Walmart. And Vinny's there

first in line. You camped out overnight. You're all ready to go and get your toys. And some woman comes up to you and pepper sprays you in the eyeballs and you don't get the wrestling figure. I would just look at her and go, ma'am, you're a genius. Tush. And I would just stand there. Nope. You would not.

That's a creep. That's a creep. And you You know it. I rest my case. Carl, I do know creeps. Elizabeth Macias this week. I do know creeps. I really do.

Yep. And I'm going to tell you about a real Black Friday creep, Carl. I'm listening. Her name is Carter Servantes. Now, Carl, what is creepier than the insidious, incestuous, incestuous, and sordid world of retail employment? That's a good question right there. You know what's funny? I don't know that I've ever been friends with someone who worked in retail.

I don't even know where those people come from. This story that I found has two things I related to in it. Number one, where it was located, the Huen Mall in Fort Worth, Texas, where I used to hang out all the time when I was in college. Okay. And then American Eagle Outfitters. Okay. I used to work at American Eagle Outfitters, Carl. Did you really?

I really did. I take that back. I do know someone who worked in retail. Yeah. They got creep. And you could take it from me. It's a weird environment. They have a big and tall American Eagles outfitters in Texas?

I didn't know that. I'm always like this, Carl. You weren't the monster you've become. I'm a man. By the way, just those revelations right there, I think you win. Vinny used to work in the American Eagle outfits. That's hilarious. I didn't.

I worked there twice. Like for how? Two days, you mean? No, for like seasonal shit. It's more than you did at the pizza place. I'll give you that. One shift. Listen, there was no fucking pickles at the American Eagle.

It was fine. It's true. I hated it there, though. They were two, like, holiday seasons. So let's talk about this woman, Carter. She is an assistant manager at the Hewlin Mall American Eagle. She was the one, according to other employees, that she wanted to like you. Because if you got on her bad side, Carl, there's no coming back from it.

She would always find a way to work to make it harder for you. I don't know exactly what she'd do. She'd make you do grunt work, change your schedule. But apparently she was not well liked. story that starts at the Amarillo, Texas American Eagle. She was originally at the Amarillo store. She hired a 19-year-old named David Mallory to come work as a stock boy. She's 25. She starts dating the 19-year-old. Nothing wrong with that, but it is a violation of company policy. They weren't supposed to be dating because she controlled his pay. She controlled how much he worked. She could just

give him preferential treatment, more hours. And the district manager was not pleased about this. It gave her an option. The option was you can quit or you could get transferred. Okay. She chose transfer. Or she could stop sucking his dick. Why isn't that one of the options? This guy could get back to fucking work.

Yeah, right, exactly. Chump off of his dick. Okay. I'm going to say he was a dreaded African American male and she is a very tiny white lady. Why dreaded? He had dreadlocks. Oh. He had the dreads.

I see what you did there. No, you don't. I actually. Dog whistle Vini over here. Yep, I see which audience you're talking to you right now. All right, well, a vote for video is a vote for racism. All right, keep going, man. I don't think that's accurate at all here.

We're going to find out who the real racist is. It's the dick sucker. Oh, okay. She decides I'm going to Fort Worth. She moves six hours away, starts working at the Hew and Mall. Now, this guy, Mallory stays in Amarillo at the store and gets fired like almost immediately because he was a shitty employee. Okay.

He gets fired for not showing up for all sorts of stuff. and he's barred from ever working at American Eagle again. They said, we will never have you back leave. Sounds good. Well, he moves to Fort Worth to be near his girlfriend, Carter. Who helped him falsify documents so she could hire him at the store in Hewlett, Texas. Just work at the store across the way. What the fuck's the difference?

Work in the food court. She got him hired there. He put in fake documents. They did a whole fucking thing. He starts working there. It's now August of 2014, Carl. it is what they call tax-free weekend, which is a big deal in Texas. People could buy their school stuff for the kids and not have to pay sales taxes on it.

And shocking, a hooded burglar broke in through the back door, pulled a gun, and stole the deposit with over $18,000 in it from the last day. I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess. I had dreads apparently. Oh, the hood. Okay. The guy had dreads apparently. Here was the issue. Another manager named Ashley Harris reported that Cervantes, Carter, and Mr. Mallory were likely the suspects because she saw Carter leave the back door of the store unlocked before it happens. It's always an inside job, isn't it? Correct. Now, they were never charged because they couldn't prove it. But they were both fired.

Now, Carl, what do you do when you get fired from a job? Well, you got $18,000 cash. My guess is you take a couple months off. Yeah, you and your boyfriend that fucking just got away with something, go have a. fucking good time. Yeah. Not these two creeps, Carl. Or you could go to Iowa and do some stand-up gigs that pay you almost nothing.

That's another thing you could do. $350 in Iowa. She's stopped doing your job. Carl. Yeah, I'm listening. I just want to explain this to you. This lady, she's a piece of shit to work for. Yep.

She's fucking a 19-year-old that she hired. This 19-year-old is robbing the fucking place. Yeah, but she's asking that D, though. You know she's cupping the balls and S-M-D. You know they're fucking hard. Yeah. But here's the fig. I've seen some videos online that lead me to believe it's going pretty well for them in the bedroom.

How do you think American Eagle reacted? They're like, wait a second. Her and this guy, this guy was working here? We banned him from ever working here again. She forged all these papers, got him hired at the place. Yeah. So they're both gone. They just couldn't prove that they did it.

They're away with it, Scott free. But our girl Carter was not happy. She wanted revenge. On who? On American Eagle? And she wanted revenge on Ashley. Lee Harris, the assistant manager who told them that she left the door unlocked. Ah, okay. Yeah, nobody likes a tattletail. Nobody likes a tattel. Nobody likes a snitch. That's true.

But let's fast forward to November 28th, 2014, Black Friday, a few months after they were let go from the store. Okay. A phone call comes into 911 from Ashley Harris's downstairs neighbor. He called and reported an apartment fire. When the trucks arrived, they found Ashley bound and gagged with her throat slit in the bedroom of the house. Investigators determined that a fire had started at the bedroom and that rubbing alcohol had then used as the accelerant. Okay, yeah. Now, that's a bad choice to use as an accelerant because it doesn't burn long.

Right. Rubbing alcohol is what wrestlers use when they set tables on fire that they're going to throw themselves to because it evaporates. Well, hold on a second. I think that's real when they set those tables on fire and they jump through them. I think that's, you're in place. that there's like tricks to the trade or something. I'm just saying, if you don't want a lot of permanent damage.

Yep. Rubbing alcohol is what the pros use. So Harris's autopsy points to a rage killing, Carl. The medical examiner found blunt force trauma to her face and head and trauma related to the strangulation of her neck and throat, as well as obviously she was slashed. Jesus Christ. She was killed out of anger and tortured, according to the prosecutors.

The only thing investigators had to go. go on was someone saw a black infinity suspiciously parked by the apartment. Shocker, it's our girl Carter's car. The police spoke to Ashley's family. They put them in touch with a coworker who said that the mysterious car sounded like Carter's. During the investigation, it was discovered that the only thing missing from the apartment was her keys to the American Eagle.

Revenge ain't done yet, huh? These two are completely stupid. You think? I mean, they weren't an American Eagle. They're not the best of the brightest. The guy got fired for me to stock point. He's not the brightest. They tracked them down to their apartment, which was right near the mall.

In the parking lot of their apartment was a black two-door infinity. The cops knocked on the door, nobody answered. So they set somebody there to stake out the house. I'm just glad these two kids are still dating, even though they don't work together anymore. That's impressive. Love will find a way. Yeah. Might be the name of the episode.

They're working through it. I like that. Fort Worth Police Detective Jerry Sedello was stalking, was staking out the apartment on the following morning, November 29th. when he saw Cerventos and Mallory leave the apartment, which they thought was empty, get into the car and drive to the mall. Okay. So Dillow followed them,

went to the American Eagle store where Harris's boss was waiting for the owners to open up. Following Harris's murder, they'd already change the locks on the place. Good idea. The keys are missing. Yeah, we want to change the locks. No one other than law enforcement and the management knew that the keys were missing. Officer found Mallory waiting in Carter's car in the park

lot outside of the mall. They're looking everywhere for her. They can't find her. He was arrested because he was in the driver's seat and didn't have a driver's license on him. So they took him in for investigation. Driving while black, yet again. It's Texas. Yep. That's a cry. He was arrested for not having his driver's license. Investigators believe that Cervantes and Mellier were planning to rob the American Eagle store. Surveillance footage later showed from the ball. Again. She was trying to break into the store that morning. She snuck away from the cops around the backplace. It was trying to use the keys to get to the back. door all on surveillance camera.

Of course. So she goes back outside because she can't get in and she sees the cops arrested her boyfriend. So she hightails it back to their apartment. She walks there. At that point, the cops go back to the apartment and try to find her. They find her in the apartment. They ask her, hey, were you at the mall earlier this morning? She was like, no, this morning, absolutely not.

These guys are fucking idiots. Oh, dude. They had her dead to fucking rights. She claimed that the day before that for Black Friday, she'd spent at cookie Thanksgiving dinner. They watched movies. I wasn't at the mall. I didn't do anything.

Now, during a break in the question date, hysterical, she thinks she's smart. And this is why I hate her. She's a bitch to work for, right? She murdered someone. You got away with it, honey. You got away with that. I don't like this thing you're acting like she was a bad boss. She was sucking the guy's dick.

That sounds- But she was shitting. everybody else all right fair enough come on man if you work there you think you're the one who's dick's getting sucked maybe i'm charming in my own way dude you'd be the guy who's fucking sweeping and mop it all day long i'm charming in my way bitty you never know oh god so she's in the room is she to try a woman by the way you know she kind of looks like my wife she kind of looks like my okay she has the the round face like my wife so let me see if i could find a picture for you okay yeah wow so we're supposed to vote for her as a creep i'm not buying it right now but

all right if you say so she's a creep i'm voting for you as the creep for working in an american eagle's outfitters you probably cost them so much business you know how many shirts i ripped yeah no shit i'm not gonna take this one all right here's a picture of them i'll slap that in there oh yeah oh she's cute yes she is and that's uh mr mallory okay so she's in she's in the who they're interrogating her. Yeah. They gave her a bottle of water. So she drinks from the bottle of water and like there's nobody in there.

And what she does is she then takes the bottle and tries to wipe all of her own fingerprints off of it to try to be sneaky. That ship has sailed. Yeah. The fingerprint thing is done. So they get a search warrant and they found some interesting things in their house. A receipt for shovels, gloves, duct tape, rope and a tart. Why keep the receipt? Why are they file?

Why do people file these receipts? seats away. Are you going to return it after the crime? You know what the cops call that? You know what the cops call that? A murder kit is what the cops call that. Yeah, it is. But here's the thing. They set her on fire in the apartment. Okay? Yeah. Inside the car were knives in a loaded gun. They found the shovels and other items in the trunk of her vehicle. Blood was found on the formats of the car and matched Ashley Harris's DNA. So they're caught dead to rights. Well, unless you hire Robert Kardashian. That ship has also said.

Okay, yeah, right. Good point. Okay. Text messages obtained from Servantes and Mallory's phones. Now, this is what takes this to the next level. Shoot, they were planning this woman's murder and a Black Friday heist since after they got fired. Sure. They planned all of this out.

Well, yeah, you don't, you don't like get, it was, the race doesn't come to you months later. right at the time, yeah. They originally planned to bury Harris's body at a grave site detectives found because they were sending each other the coordinates and the text messages. They went out there and found a fully buried, a dug-up grave. A bu-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Okay. A dug-up grave.

And, like, empty, but they found it. This is where this woman was going to go. Or was she, Carl? Here's something interesting that the detectives found out from their text messages. So much evidence on both of their stories. cell phones of their planning of these robberies and what we believe was going to ultimately be a murder for both the manager in Abilene as well as, of course, Ashley Harris. There was going to be a second victim.

We really believe that is because we had tons of photographs and text on Carter's phone to David where she was casing out the mall in Abilene. We actually had a photo that David took inside the Abilene Mall inside of where the managers would be of the schedule of the different managers and when they worked. and the names of the managers. We actually had them tracking one of the managers and talking about how they were going to disarm and I guess ultimately slash the tires of a manager

and get her keys. They talked about when she worked, they talked about her schedule, they talked about how fast she walked, how she had her purse, what her cars were, what the car was and where the car was parked. There was something about,

in the text message between Carter and David, about how they were going to disarm the horn and the alarm system of that particular make and model vehicle. And we found so much. Carl, it's pretty wild what they're going to do. Plan this shit at home. Don't they live together? Why are they texting each other this shit back and forth?

It's really stupid. Carl, did they act on any of this? Well, they might have. Listen to this shit. That proposed a victim in Abilene. She was contacted later by investigators once we figured all this out. And she said there was some night. She remembers leaving the mall going.

to her car where she had slat her tires were slashed and she was able to call her boyfriend or fiance at the time and then he showed up to fix it and help and actually that night she remember she had this very very large dog at the time and she remembers her dog was freaking out barking like crazy one night right after her the same night her cars the tires were slashed she calls her fiancee comes over and she doesn't nothing else happen that night the outside of her bedroom window the actual screen was taken off and tampered with so we believe because we have them the location information from their cell phone that they were actually at her house casing her house they were at that yeah they were going to kill another lady yeah so the question is this their plan was to go in

the day after black friday when all the money was in there right to go and steal up to they assume there's to be about $50,000 in cash there okay so they go to the woman's house They murder her. They have a grave dug ready to go for. Why did they decide to set a fire? Why did they decide to set a fire, Vinny? Because they're stupid creeps, Carl. You know, they might not have been caught if they hadn't have set that fire?

Well, I think they would have gotten caught either way. Eventually, but they would have been. She was cause her valence. They would never have known to change the locks. Nobody would have known she was missing. Interesting. She would have just been gone. But they started a fire right after they leave.

They start a fire. now there's a time frame for all of this. Yeah. There's more, all these people are distracted. Now there's a fire there and there's a victim. If you don't do anything, if you just take the keys and leave, they may find her body in a day or a day or two, but you've already committed the crime and you're gone.

So why do they start the fire, buddy? I don't know, Carl. I'm asking why you think. I'm so annoyed by these two. They're supposedly these two stupid fucking masterminds. They're fucking talking about how some bitch and abel. That should be the name of the episode. stupid mastermind

That's exactly what they are They're trying to clock How fast a woman walks from her car But they decide to start the fire In the apartment That's a good point There are a lot of details in there That were unnecessary

They were fucking doing Trying to get everything down To last minute But they were like Oh you all we ought to do What kind of music does she like? Doug? What's her favorite song?

Gives a shit Yeah fuck these two Carter and David Mallory Are they both spending The rest of their lives In prison Are they really? Yes

So in Texas They actually do prosecute people For crimes That's interesting And they didn't get the death penalty, but they are getting life in prison both of them. Cool. When it came down to it, I'm just going to go ahead and say, in court, I need to point this out,

not only is Carter Sir Ventez a piece of shit, she's also a racist piece of shit. Okay. She blamed. She's also a piece of ass. She is. All right, yeah, let's go. She blames it all on Mallory. She blames it all on the guy.

Oh, well, yeah. Would you like to know what she said? It doesn't do with racism. This is what? Carl. This is what she tried to tell the Texas cops About why she did this She said Mallory put a gun in her face

And tried to make her steal money from the store She said Mallory threatened to hurt her Her parents and relatives As she did not do what she was told If by gun you mean that big black dick And when she did not do what she was told They returned to their apartment Where Mallory's friends raped her repeatedly

He had a BBC revolver He was threatening her with She claimed that he had her friends gang rape her To get her to go do this That's what you're saying What a fight Like she thought the cops would just believe her Because she was white and he was black

Sure That's what this is And they didn't They did not It's not The Texas I know What's going on that? Times are changing

They almost elected Beto Yeah good point All right kids That's my creep this week Carter Carol Serventes You could vote on Reddit.com And thank you

I need my Patreon money back Please The show is way less fun for me So wait the murder occurred On which day Black Friday The murder occurred on Black Friday And then they were going

To rob the place The day after Black Friday Correct. All those things you described, there was just one, okay, just that one thing on Black Friday, huh? Okay. All that planning and everything leading up to it. Yeah. Trying to murder the other person.

Which makes some creeps. Not on Black Friday. Dude, they had $18,000. They were in the free. They were scot-free. And they're like, we need revenge. So we're going to murder this lady in the dumbest way we can. And then we're going to go try to break into a store that already changed the fucking locks.

Have you ever seen a guy get one foot in bounds? in the end zone and they call it a touchdown? I've never seen that. I'm like, there's no way they're going to, I don't know if we know why they ruled that on the field and then they didn't overturned it after replay. Made no sense to me at all. I really hate you.

I'm still angry about it. Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for 10 seconds? So people want to go to our subreddit where you can vote. I'll get a poll up later today and you can vote on who you thought brought the biggest creep related to Black Friday. I hate you so much sometimes. Is it someone who sets fire to their victim using rubbing alcohol or someone who uses pepper spray to get an Xbox 360 at a great deal?

It's someone who slits somebody's throat and then sets them on fire. Could be. We'll see. We'll see how people vote. We will. Make sure you vote everybody. Every vote counts. It's very important that you got in vote.

Does this mean it's time for my new favorite segment? It is. It's time for Creepos. This is a new segment. on the creep off and this is where we review other true crime podcasts for one simple reason we are petty we want to prove that we have the best true crime podcast even if carl and i got away with $18,000 we're still coming for the other podcasts correct yes because that's how petty we are we need to let everyone know true crime is a huge genre within podcasting everyone thinks they can

have a true crime podcast everyone thinks they can do it and i say not the case leave it to the professionals, myself and Vinnie Paulino, the only place you need to go for your true crime news. So, each week we break down another true crime podcast and review and explain why it sucks. This week, I have a show. You ever heard of this show? It's called VCTMS, colon true crime podcast. VTMSS back slash colon true crime podcast. That's my favorite. VC.TMSS backslash colon true crime podcast. That's my favorite. VCTMS. Sure. That one. I love it. This is all the time. This is an episode called July 81 pipe victims podcast. Cool. Actually, let me read you the description of this show and then I'll play the first clip here. We have all heard the murderous tales from the

villains of our society, but not many of us know about the survivors and victims. Join each episode as we explore true crime cases. No one cares about the victims. All people do is pretend to care about the victims. Like Nancy Grace, she just pretends about the victims. Nobody cares about the victims of these things. She doesn't pretend to care about the victim. She immediately makes it about her.

She's great. It's all about the story. Yeah. All right. Let's check out how this one starts off. You might recognize one of the voices here. It kind of seems like they forgot to hit record and just like, oh shit, okay, hit record and then this is where we joined the show.

You got to talk about his childhood. We have to kind of, I want to try to develop a picture as to what was the turning point, what made him do what he did, were their signs early. Oh, yeah, there were. Oh, for sure. I mean, his name alone is already weird, and they don't really call him this. It's Gary Leon Ridgeway. That's right. Patrick Michael doing a true crime podcast.

I don't think we've ever talked about on who are these podcasts or any other show. the VCTMS true crime podcast, supposedly about the victims. All they do is talk about Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer. How? There's no talk about the victims. I'd not put this together before you said that when the name was so completely impossible to ever search. It's so stupid. I should have known that was a Patrick Michael name for a show.

I think that it's victims without the eyes, VCTMS. But why would you do that? None of it makes any fucking sense. Maybe it's a vanity plate that he has. I don't know. on what is dresser All right So our buddy Patrick Michael

Had some co-hosts They never introduced to themselves We don't know what's going on It just goes And I love Patrick Michael because And Gary Ridgeway's victims are all dead hookers I know I know

We're gonna learn about this from the victims perspective We don't Trust me, we do not So they're just reading the wiki page Like every other true crime show But only Patrick Michael Zooms in on the details That don't matter

He was born in 1949, February 18th, so birthday just a few months ago. Yeah, 70. Jesus. Salt Lake City, Utah is the second son of Mary and Thomas Ridgeway's three sons in total. So he has two brothers. Makes you wonder whatever happened to them. No. I bet his brothers aren't serial killers.

They probably live kind of normal wives. We're Gary's brothers. We're raising money to bury all these dead hookers. Right. Only Patrick Michael would be like, this guy is super interesting. He murdered all these people, one of those prolific serial killers in the history of our country. I wonder what his brother was up to him. His brother, Gary, works at a hardware store. Yeah, right, exactly.

Let's profile him next week. Fucking idiot. All right. So, Patty C C Cups says something here that I just stop me in my tracks because they're talking about this guy has like a sub 80 IQ. You probably know a lot about Gary Ridgway. I think we featured him on this show before. No, never. Yeah.

Right. So, we're actually going to be putting him up against Chad Zumach again in a couple of weeks. Apparently, this guy wasn't all that bright. And I had just recently done some stuff on, uh, oddest tool and guys like that. And these motherfuckers had the IQ that low as well. It's like, what, how are you functioning? How were you so smart to not only commit these crimes, but to stay ahead of them in a lot of ways? Bizarre. Because I feel like I'm smart.

And it's like, I never even think about it. how I can get away the crime. That's crazy. Patrick Michael considers himself smart. I've never heard him say that before. That gorilla that does sign language consider it self-smart. Like, I'm not surprised that Patrick Michael considers it. He goes, I feel like I'm pretty smart. Yeah. I bet you do feel that way. I'm not surprised by that.

The dumb people really think very highly of themselves. Okay. The old Dunning Kruger effect, once again. All right, so they go on to explain. This is an interesting way. to present this case, many, because the first half of the episode is all about this guy's childhood, which, yeah, there's some crazy shit, but he didn't start serial killing until he was in his 20s, but they go on and on about this. And I guess they're talking about how he tried to kill this one kid when he was 16 years old, but it didn't work. And when I say he was 16, I mean, Gary Ridgeway, the Green River killer, was 16 years old when he attempted to murder his first victim. And Patrick Michael tries to wrap his head around this one. And the reason why Ridway is quoted to have said, the reason that he did this is he just wanted to see what it felt like to kill. Maybe. At 16, dude. Right.

That does not make sense to me. I mean, obviously it shouldn't, but at the same time, you're like, that's the whole point. It's just trying to, I don't know, make sense of it all. Yeah. Is that what the point is? I like, what age should you be when you want to decide what it feels like to kill someone? The 16's too young for that? 18 and older.

Yeah, he teed it up, I guess, is when that makes sense to Patrick Michael. Wow. One of the chances, this serial killer wanted to see what was like to murder someone when they were a teenager. I never would have guessed that. It does kind of reflect in their career choice. Usually that's an acquired taste, you know, like scotch. You don't see a lot of teenagers enjoying a scotch after school. Or flaming Cheeto Mountain Dews in Seamus's case.

Yeah, 99 bananas in Seamus's case. All right. So then this is great because Patrick Michael's reading this information, but he doesn't even understand it. He doesn't know what's going on. And this is a detail that is so unnecessary when you actually know what happens with Gary Ridgway and all of the things that unfold. This is only a 20-minute podcast.

This probably did not need to be part of it. Gary ended up getting into a small scuffle during a school dance, not even a school dance. It was just a dance thing, something that they did in this area during this time. because I think we forgot to mention Gary was born, no, what did I say when he was born? Yeah, 49, 1949. So he was at this dance hall, and he proceeds to go to the bathroom, and he's using the bathroom, and some kid is next to him,

and Gary pees on his foot, pees on his leg, and the kid gets pissed, and he tells him he's going to have to clean it up, whatever, clean it up, so he pees on him again, and they end up getting into a fight because Gary decided to pee on a kid. I don't know that that was necessary, but also, I don't know what Petty. Patrick Michael thinks school dances. I don't know when he thinks they started.

He's like, well, I mean, this was in the 60s. So there's no way it was a school dance. Well, no, it probably was. It was at a dance hall. It was during school. Yeah, they loved that. That was a big thing back then. That was a pretty big thing.

The school dance. You ever seen Greece? They document that. Jesus Christ. But that movie wasn't made until the 80s. It's true. That's by Patrick Michael impression. Wait, wasn't it the 70s and they made Greece?

I thought it was like 81 or something stupid like that. I'm always off on these things. It's late 70s. I thought Godfather 3 was made in 82. Producer Chris is like, oh, you idiot. It's like, okay, what do I fucking know about anything? I haven't seen nothing. Yeah, that was like 92 or 90.

It was 90. It was 1990, the Godfather 3. Yeah. Probably we should just let that one. You know, it's kind of like when they went back and did those Star Wars preicles, like, you know what? Maybe the ship is sailed. Maybe it's not going to, maybe we should just leave, leave it alone. I want to see CGI Don Vito and his lightsaber.

You want to combine the two? Oh, yes. All right. It'd be a much more interesting movie. So they talk about how this. guy was able to get girls. He had three different wives throughout his life, and I guess it was very easy for him to hook up with the ladies.

And Patty C C C Cups is surprised by this, because of the way he looks. This is pretty revealing for Patrick Michael, the guy who considers himself to be pretty smart. Yeah, the guy didn't have a lot of trouble getting ladies. Yeah, I don't understand that. He looks like a fucking

eighth grade social studies teacher. Maybe a little bit, yeah. Like, I would just be like, this guy's just going to fucking drone on. today about the civil war again great hate that class he doesn't look like I got a teacher that you'd be after the class

be like oh Mr. Ridgeway how was your weekend no he's just seemed like no get out close the door on your way out too I'm not talking to other teachers this guy's got some hangouts from high school doesn't he never stops with the high school it's so fucking funny I don't know if this guy's getting late he looks like an eighth grade social studies teacher

tell me about the civil war this fucking asshole It's his problem. And then he's not going to give me the time of day to close the door and say, I have done for... I needed help after class. Come on, Mr. Ridgway. Help me out. If you're not selling sex, I'm not interested.

Fucking weird. Mr. Ridgeway. Only Patty Cops can turn a story about the Green River killer into how much he didn't like social studies in eighth grade and really lean into it too, which is fun. So the reason why I'm presenting it this way is because they're talking about,

this story. He graduates high school when he's 20, joins the Navy, he goes to Vietnam, all these different things that happened before he became a serial killer. And then when they finally get to the part that's actually interesting about this guy, they just push right through it as quickly as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was, I guess we were going to get

right into that now, but yeah, so he kills a bunch of ladies and then he often goes back and has sex with their corpses so that he doesn't get more live victims. So he just relieves his frustration out on the ones he's already killed. So we go on and on about this dance where he peed on a guy's foot, that that

guy was mad, and then they got into a fight, and then they're like, oh, and by the way, he murdered a bunch of prostitutes and then he'd have sex with their dead corpse down by the river for weeks afterwards. Yeah, but this guy ruined his shoes in high school at the fence. People wore their best shoes in these dances back then. And it may or may not have been

a dance. I'm not sure. We don't know. Sometimes of a gathering at a dance hall where people in high school were hanging out. So this is not presented well, I guess, is my point, Vinnie. I don't know how much I do to explain that this is not a good show.

Probably self-explanatory at this point. All right, this is fun. So he's explaining that I like the term that he uses for Gary Ridgway. He says he's not a normal cat in this one. And then Patty, like,

I know that Patrick Michael hears people say things and he tries to repeat them, but he doesn't understand them so he doesn't say them correctly. Fortunately, his co-host is here to help him out. Yeah, he's not a normal cat when it comes to those things.

You know, people visit prostitutes. That's why it is the oldest living, what, job, I guess, that exists. The oldest professional, you know. You know that he would have followed it up with. No, that's not it. Prostitution is the oldest living job, I guess. The oldest living job, many. Are there any dead jobs that we should be aware of?

He's so stupid. He's so stupid. That's profession, Patrick Michael. No, that's not right. So right after that, he goes, that's why you're here, man. Thank you. Thank you for correcting me. He goes, I don't know a lot about history and I also don't know about math.

Yeah, we know you didn't pay attention to social studies. We already got that. Social studies, we know he doesn't like. It turns out he also doesn't like math. And what's great about this is that Patrick Michael thinks that numbers equals math. It doesn't. Numbers are just like counting. is not math. I'm sorry.

There you go. I couldn't think of the word. Thank you. That's why you're here. That's why I'm here. And math. Math is also your you help me with that. You said it's 70 years old. I would have never guessed it. It says it right on the wiki page. That's how I saw it. Still, I would have been like

it's a number. It's terrifying. But anyways, speaking of numbers, he had a son with his first wife. You know what's terrifying is the production value of the show. This guy sounds like he's in a megaphone in the back of the room. Who is this co-host? I have no idea.

Whoever this guy is, this is probably his math tutor. Yeah. All right, Patrick, Michael, you have 19 podcasts and 27 pairs of headphones. The guy was born in 49. They're recording this in 2019. He goes, yeah, he's 70 years old.

He's like, holy shit. I don't know how the fuck you knew that. That's insane. He's like, well, it's on the wiki page. It's like, yeah, but still, that's numbers. Numbers are scary. No, serial killers are scary. Numbers should not be scary.

Let me back that one up a little bit and see where he goes with this. because this is a pretty smooth segue right here from Paddy C C Cubs. Speaking of numbers, he had a son with his first wife. And he was age seven the first time that he was used, started to be used as like a prop for basically to put these women at ease. So smooth. So smooth. Speaking of numbers, he had a son and that son had an age. And age is a number. Speaking of numbers

I'm scared No not numbers 789 Carl 789 carl 7 89 Anything with the numbers I get it Why is 6 afraid of 7 I get Yeah it's 7 8 9

All right So now we're going to talk about How these bodies Started getting discovered Down by the river here Vinnie And somehow a boat discovers The bodies

I don't know That's possible But let Patty explain it to us But by August 15th Two more bodies are found by a boat and the guy thought that they were mannequins which is the stupidest thing in the fucking world

who throws a mannequin in the river what the fuck he's like oh he's not a mannequin remember what a mannequin be in a river mannequins go in stores not in rivers you idiot

that's the stupidest thing of the world says the stupidest thing in the world dumb idiots a boat discovered two more bodies all right wow he's He's just the best. Well, he's great because he explains that it doesn't make any sense for there to be mannequins.

Like, garbage shows up in the river. I don't know if you know that, Patty Seekouts. It does happen. But I don't think he understands what mannequins are because there's more mannequin talk here. And listen to this. I mean, even a mannequin, finding a mannequin has to be pretty fucking rare. I would think so. That creepy as hell.

You're just walking through the woods. There's a mannequin there. Who left this out here? Was there a barber or something? something out. I don't, what's happening? A barber? You think, you think barber's own mannequins?

They'd be pretty short-sighted. What'd be like, ah, all right, well, I bought this whole mannequin and I already cut a tear, so that's the end of that. It gets out to throw it out in the woods or in a river somewhere. Turns out they're not good customers. I got to keep throwing them in the woods. Yeah. Just some stupid Italian barber.

What an idiot. Some barber. Retail. Manikins are used to retail. And not in barbershops. You dumb, dumb idiot. All right. Oh, he's priceless.

He really is. I just have a couple more clips on here. I bet you do. Well, so we're talking about this guy. He has just an ADIQ, but he was able to cover his tracks enough that even when the police were investigating him, they couldn't find any evidence. And they find nothing. Now, as I previously mentioned, a lot of these crimes took place in his house. Right.

So not so smart, but good to clean it up his mess. Yeah, with a lower than 80 IQ, low 80s, doesn't add up for me, doesn't add up. Because if this guy's getting away with this kind of thing and he's able to elude these police, what kind of education do they have? They have to be well smarter than they're not catching it. These police officers have to be well smarter and they're still not catching them. Now, the other thing I want to tell Patrick Michael, is IQ and education level are not related to each other. That is true.

IQ is your intellect, your intelligence level has nothing to do with what you've learned in school. It's your ability. It's an ability to learn. Right. It's more of an ability thing, yeah, than it is actually knowledge. And he's like, well, they have to be well smarter than them because, you know, they went to school and stuff. Man, the river's just filled with mannequins. Send one cop to the other.

So I've learned nothing from this show. Here's the last clip I have. This is just the way that it ends. I played you the way that it began. It's got this stupid music, this dumb music bed going through the whole show. It's just obnoxious. The sound quality is garbage. This starts, like, mid-thought, like in the middle of a conversation.

That's how it starts. And they really know how to wrap things up here, too, Betty. Bridgeway was eventually returned by chartered plane to Washington State Penitentiary and Walla Walla from the high security federal prison in Florence, Colorado on October 24th, 2015. And that's where he remains today. and he should see there. Yeah, most definitely. Great.

Good job, guys. Thank you. And you know what? I think he should be locked up. He's a bad dude. Yeah, I agree. And Michelle. It's a hot take podcast.

You know what, fuck it. I got one more clip on here. I might as well play it for you. This is fun. Patty Seekins. I don't even know what he's trying to say here. I don't know what he thinks he's going to say. But his interest in prostitutes led to gonorrhea,

which could also have a little. led to his hatred for prostitutes and divorced because when he came back, found out his wife had an affair. It's like, dude, you were fucking street, street urchants. There you go. I like urchants. It's better. What's a street urchant?

Well, I believe they used to refer to, like, orphan children as street urchins. Okay. But I don't think that's the right word. I don't think that's it. Yeah. Something similar, I don't recall. But I will tell you this. I'm not going to pretend I know it and say it anyway.

Well, I'll say it. They're street workers. All right. Some guy was fixing a hole. This guy, he was just working the manhole. So once again, we have proven the creepoff is a better. We're doing this one by one. I don't care how long it takes.

I don't care how many episodes we have to do of who are these creepos. One by one we're going to prove we're better than every other true crime podcast out there except for sword and scale. We're just waiting for you all to believe us. Oh, we'll convince him eventually, Betty. We'll convince him. We make a pretty solid argument sometimes. We'll win him over.

Carl, you're ready for some voicemails. I am. Brought to you by our friends in Syracuse. The creepoff voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Syracuse basketball may have just lost a Bryant University, but they're all set for their next game against the Philadelphia School for the Mentally Challenge. And they're only favored by three. See you in Syracuse.

Are the orange not good this year? Is that what's happening? I don't know. I'm a big Philadelphia. Yeah. Mentally challenged school fan, myself. Go tards. Fly tarts fly.

T.A.R.D. What does it spell? Holy shit. Oh, goodness. All right, Carl, let's kick into the voice. Somebody left you a song, and I know who it was. They say he lost Weezer and he doesn't like Ween. He cries every night because Chaz is so mean.

He never plugs the creep up and his teeth are not clean. One thing that is true, he is a club-footed queen. Whoa. His name's not Kevin. His name is Carol. And he's an ass wife Fuck you, Carl Thank you, Bukaki Queen.

You have a lovely voice. Nice. Creep report. Hey, y'all, I got a creep report this week. It's a mean dug from Who's Right podcast. He says he doesn't wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom. And I don't want his creepy, dirty hooker penis fucking fingers.

I don't know what he fucked. jerked off or whatever fuck that guy. Wash your hands after you go to the bed and that's a fucking disgust. Agreed. Hold on. I disagree with that. Wash your hands after jerking off, sure. So if you've washed your hands after jerking off, then when you go pee, who gives a shit? What's the difference?

All right, Carl. Well, here's a... Let me ask you this, Vinny. Okay. So you always wash your hands after you pee, soap and water? Yeah, actually I do. Do you wash your hands up until you scratch your balls? All right. That's what I thought. Case closed. Next. Next. But I don't generally scratch my balls like

I do it through something Oh no you gotta get in there sometimes Sometimes you really gotta get in there Then that's a hand wash That's a hand wash situation That's a hand watch situation If you're actually getting into the crevices Oh yeah the undercarriage

You gotta get right up in there You gotta get right up in there buddy Hey Carl I got somebody who would like to challenge your position here Oh good Let's go Hey buddy how's it going I have an idea for the real consequences is Carl has to go stand outside a New York City bathroom

and the next bomb that he sees walk in there who takes piss and doesn't wash his hands, he has to let, he has to go eat chicken wings with that bomb and then suck the juice off that bomb's fingers because apparently washing your hands after you go to the bathroom doesn't mean shit. So go ahead and fucking do that. Put that on your fucking meal of consequences.

Fucking gross piece of shit. Fuck you! Wow, there's some controversy going on from his podcast. Do you accept the challenge? No, because let me explain something. I practice good hygiene. That's the difference here. Like a bum hasn't showered in a month or forever, whatever it is.

I don't want his fingers, I don't want to lick his fingers out if he does wash his hands in the bathroom. He's a gross. That's way different. I don't even lick off my fingers. So, man, that tells you anything. Hey, Carl, let's change gears for a second. And we just put out another great Patreon bonus episode last week. We did, yes.

We did. And some people have some thoughts on it that they'd like to share. Just finished another bonus episode. Loved it. If that voice is what pedophiles are fooled by, I think I should start doing this as well because I think I have what a pedophile would consider a passable five-year-old impression. And here it goes. Hello, my name is Wessel.

I like macawone and cheese, dinosaur. and occasionally putting things in my bum. Are any of those things that you like? If so, maybe we should hang out. Yeah. No adults allow out, please. Oh, fuck that up. I fucked that up.

We got it. You did good. Let me get a review from the critic here. It stinks. Yeah, it wasn't passable. Carl, we listened to one of the videos or the audio of a. a phone call between a predator and what it was supposed to be a child

who was like, hey, hi. Yeah, the eight-year-old was so bad. And this guy was just so horny. He still went for it. Unbelievable. So if you want to watch the full episode, find us on Patreon or Supercast. You could listen or watch it. We had two bonus episodes last month. This guy was so horny, Vick's voice could have turned him on. That's how horny this guy was. He got gross. Saw a picture of Cousin Oliver and got all horned up. Cow photographer checking in.

Hey, Vinny. calvatographer here uh here in where i live in texas uh there's this pizza place and they've got the cuban pizza pizza and if you've had a cuban sandwich you know there's pickles on it god damn is that one of the best piece of the piece i've ever fucked fuck sounds great i'm sold on that i would do that damn it's that one of the best pieces of the pizza i've ever fucking had in my life you should come up here and do the comedy venue here i'll shoot it to you on discord if you're interested and uh uh i'll get you some pizza. It's going to be fantastic, Vinny. I can't wait to give you some fucking Cuban

pizza. No, thank you. That sounds good. I would eat that. That sounds great. Well, you're disgusting. You're disgusting. You're disgusting. You're disgusting. Caliphonographer agrees. We're on the same page here. You're being outvoted. Here's some, uh, here's a, um, voicemail left by our pals at true crime garage

who we reviewed in WATC last week. Oh, wow. Okay. Welcome to the true crime garage. We're talking about Ted Bunny. Do you have any idea? how many women he raped? Nice. That's right, Katten. And then we'll be talking about people who kill kids. Oh, fucking awesome. That sir is right, Captain. Pretty good recreation there.

I liked it, actually. Now, here is a message from the commissioner, Fisker Whisker, calling in, the leader of the governing body that governs the creep-off rules and regulations. Right, of course. Hi, hi, Minnie. This is Fisker-Wisker. the commissioner of major league the creep off and uh i i've been trying to get the hold of you there's some irregularities in the vote the last five votes i just we just need to redo counts on each vote it's shouldn't take too long i'm sorry thank you fuck you bye i think he makes a good point i those ones that i lost those need to be looked at all right i'm confused as to

what the point of that was yeah i may have They're fucked up. Here is a link. Here's one that somebody just left us this morning that I haven't listened to yet. But since, you know, I'm just having fun. Who knows? Maybe it'll be good. Carl, Vinny, major creep of the week for you.

Mark Poopie Fellhauer from Drew Mike Show. Monday's episode, one hour, 20 minute mark. Poopie Fellhauer, bullied his. his eight-year-old daughter into dressing in a full Michigan cheerleader outfit to sit and watch the game with him. Okay. You've got to put it on this week's show. I can't stay in night.

Cuck. See you later. I heard that this morning. His daughter comes down. She's wearing this dress. She's all happy about it. But it's the colors of Ohio State. So he forces her to change her clothes before watching the football game.

with him which it's like she's eight it doesn't matter yeah that's that's pretty weird it was a little odd all right i'll go along with that one well carl i guess unless you have any voicemail i don't i guess that should lead us into a scum parade but i'm going to wait one second here because this is loading sorry guys here we go scum parade here comes a scub parade any minute now any minute now any minute now Scum Parade. Take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made. Scum Parade. Vinny and Carl are going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade. Like stories of a kid, fucked by his mom or dad.

Soaking up the blood of a cat. Scum Parade. I really am a fan. that theme i think it's quite wonderful yeah now carl i sent you the stories this week and the first story we have today might be my favorite story of the year it's a fun one i really got a kick out of this because i got i got no problem knocking someone's hustle i do have a problem when they're tattooing minors inside of a mcdonalds a south carolina man is pled guilty to the charges that he gave a minor a tattoo well seated at a table in the dining room of a McDonald's restaurant.

Yes. Brendan Pressha, 29. Last one, copped to the two misdemeanor counts and connection with the illegal inking of the McDonald's. He was convicted of tattooing a minor in tattooing without a license, sentenced to nine-month in custody. Not a lot of licensed tattoo artists hang out at McDonald's to tattoo people.

I'm not surprised by that part of it. Police learned about the tattooing after a female customer, frustrated by a Friday night backup at the drive-thru line, peered into the restaurant. and spotted the man applying a tattoo. What is going out in there? How long does it take to make a fucking big back? What is up with this?

Well, fucking busy body. The minor was an employee of the McDonald's who was just not doing her job and getting tattooed by this guy. Can you wait until after the fucking dinner rush asshole? I mean, we'll get you a tattoo, but. Now, according to his arrest record, Prussia's tattoo collard was that the first time he'd been arrested at that McDonald's.

Yeah, this guy's a problem. In October 2020, he was. busted for allegedly stabbing a man twice during a confrontation to the bathroom of the eatery. Yes, he was charged with attempted murder, which he should have been in prison for. But instead, the judge is like, ah, you won't do it again. They let him plead guilty to assault and battery as opposed to attempted murder. You just get back out there, do your thing, buddy. He got out of jail.

Now he's an artist. I know. Well, I would say of the two things he did at McDonald's, giving a minor a tattoo is the least of our problems here. But they don't say what the tattoo was. There's a picture in the article of a tattoo of a McDonald's logo, which I hope that's the case. I hope this kid was getting a McDonald's tattoo on his arm while the drive-thru line is backing up. That'd be hilarious. All right.

Here it is. It's a grimace. If it was grimace, that's cool. It's funny because when I was a teenager, I didn't get a tattoo. And the reason why is because I didn't know if my favorite band at that time, which was Ween, would be something I would grow out of. I wouldn't want to have a wean tattoo and I'm in my 40s. Is that? I like that band in the 90s. I don't know what to tell you. No, it would have worked out, obviously, but I don't know that I would have got my first job tattooed. I mentioned

I've never been in retail. He's working a place called Media Play. Yeah. Media Play would sell video games, CDs, books, and some other nonsense. I worked at American Eagle. Right. Which was a strategic move on my part, by the way. Why? Media plays way cool. You could get movies and music and video gaze made way more sense. Oh, really? Notice how I didn't say bucks. Really? I get him at an employee discount. Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, I'm the nerd. Yeah. I'm the nerd. Yeah, you are the nerd. Dude, all of these toys behind me that you can see are Vittie's toys. And this is just a few of them in one of the places where he leaves them. So what? I worked at American Eagle where all the hot girls were all the time.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. My coworkers, all the employees were super good-looking people except for me. And then all of the smoky and hot girls that would come in every fucking day. All you're making some good points. It was a great job. Are you kidding me?

Starting to make some good points. Vinnie, I need you to go clear the dressing rooms. You got it, boss. You're starting to make some good points now because I also worked at Petri at Unos. And that wasn't a place with a lot of babes either, not I think about it. They wouldn't have me in Victoria's Secret. Well, thank God for that. I put in a lot of applications, though.

Well, anyway, I just hope that this kid did get a McDonald's tattoo because that'd be fucking hilarious. So either way, he's getting nine months, and he has to do some community service for tattooing without a license. And let's not forget that fine of $300. He's going to learn his lesson from that. Watch out. $300, I imagine, is a lot of money for this kid.

I guess. All right, Carl. It's a weird amount to be fine. But all right. Let's talk about a teacher fucking their kids, shall we? Yeah, I always like that. A former Limestone County teacher and coach arrested for sex with a student showed everybody recently because he just decided to marry his victim. Okay.

Showed you guys. You can't molest a child if it's your wife. Yeah. So this poor guy married a teenager to get out of being in trouble. I'm going to say that he's going to suffer enough then. I'm going to let him go on that. Like, okay, you want to be married to this girl? Have fun.

You know, there you go. I'm not going to lie to you. You might make a good judge. Right? You just might be a pretty good judge for something. Like, if this guy's in front of you and he's like, so you married this kid to get to not get out of trouble. And the guy cops to it. And he's like, yeah, but legally, you know, it is.

He's like, yeah, you're right legally, but you're going to suffer enough. I'll let you go, pal, nice try. Yeah. That would be Carl. Oh, and trust me, this guy will regret it for the rest of him. It was like, fuck, I could have just got a different job. I could have just done something different with my life. And now I have to go back around more hot teenagers.

Right. Well, it's funny too because if you think about it, when they're, you know, introducing themselves at dinner parties and things, they can be like, oh, we were high school sweethearts. Like, yeah, but you're seven years older than her. That's odd. Yeah, no, I know, but we met in high school. So apparently the girl they said that was under 19 years old is all they said in the charges as a teacher. Apparently that is against the rules.

She was a student. So he's trying to keep his job here They don't want teachers and coaches fucking students in high school Not just in Texas This actually takes place in a lot Or Alabama This is in Alabama

So this actually takes place In a lot of places Well Thomas Blake Tucker I hope you and your new wife Have a wonderful Wonderful Senior year together Good luck with that

Take her to the dance Or I guess she'll take you to her dance I guess is how that works At least somebody's taking somebody somewhere All right Right now We just want to make sure That Mr. Tucker

isn't in any violation of his bond conditions and because of that we filed a motion he at this point has not had any communication with his wife because of the bond conditions that currently exist and that's why we made the court to begin again they're lawful and legally married that's what his lawyer said so his lawyer is basically partitioned the court be like

we got to get back together they're married now and there's nothing you can do about it so let's drop this whole thing I just have a little bit of advice for our buddy Tucker here get out get out Get out as fast as you can Hey Carl

Guess where we're going next Oh I have a feeling We're going to Florida Oh You got to Florida You got to get your shit to jail Why so many creepy bugs Don't stop hell

Going hot there Maybe it's a small gas A plaguerre no beer to get us Come on Florida Hmm, a Southwest Florida doctor was arrested this week for allegedly drugging and abusing his female patients while they were sedated. Okay.

Dr. Eric Andrew Salata, 54, a board-certified physician, is charged with two counts of sexual battery to a physically helpless person. The Naples Police Department says it received complaints from women who said they've been battered while receiving cosmetic medical treatments at the pretext. Pura Vida medical spawn Naples. The women identified Salada as the assistant.

Naples police officer said, one woman said, told the police, she was sedated with nitrous oxide to assist with the sedation and pain from the procedure. So the mistake this guy made was not having a hit sitcom in the 80s, apparently. And not having enough ugly sweater as a dance moves. What's the point of becoming a doctor that certain jobs have perks? Like, for example, I mentioned I worked at Petra Uno's. I would eat free all the time or let's say you're a high school teacher

you get to fuck the students like every job that you have there's certain perks that we all agree that it just comes with that profession she alleges that she started coming to when the nitrous oxide was wearing off to this man on top of her having sex with her

okay so she goes to the doctor ends up doing drugs and having sex it's like going to Burning Man what's the problem here that's a lot of fun I'm not following when she's complaining about her The woman submitted to a sexual assault examination Which was sent to the forensic laboratory for further investigation

Another woman alleged a similar experience while under sedation at the same place Oh, so that's what she's upset about She's like, I thought I was her, his girlfriend Oh, okay I finally thought I nailed a doctor Yeah, right, exactly, that's what the problem is okay My mom was so happy Now it's making sense

Now he is going to appear in court this week his defense attorney cannot be reached for comment, but police are asking anyone with information to contact the Naples Police Department at 239-2-1-3-3-000. Serious calls only. Of course. By the way, I happen to know

what his defense is going to be when he's on the stand. I tripped. Believe me, she would not be my first choice that I can tell. Her? Yeah, right. You think I would need to drug that

in order to sleep with her? I'm a doctor. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I implore you. Appeal to your good senses. A Minnesota woman is charged with child torture. She allegedly stole her son's blood and treated her two children for medical conditions they don't have. And I got to tell you, I started reading this article and all I could think about was what was Mrs.

Hamburger up to back in the day. Yeah. Jordan Nicole Porter's 32 is charged with three counts, each of child torture and stalking in the alleged abuse of her children, an eight-year-old girl and two boys aged nine. and 11. Authorities began investigating borders after the 9-year-old boy was being monitored by doctors. His hemoglobin numbers kept dropping with borders claiming the hospital was

removing too much blood. However, her children told authorities they saw her take blood from the brother and put it in a cup and had them flush it out of toilet. Why do you need accomplices to flush blood down the toilet? She could have just done that herself and not had witnesses. Because she looks like two of me.

Go throw this. toilet over there. They said she would often do it before doctor's visits. She was like fucking bloodletting her kid before she took him to the doctor. Yeah, right. The nine-year-old told investigators that his mother just kept drawing my blood and said, don't tell anyone and described how it made his body feel sick, sleepy. The complaint reads, I feel so bad for this kid.

It sounds like fun games to me. I don't know. You know, it's like when you were a kid and you would like get real dizzy, like, like I run around a baseball bat or something and then try to stand up and swing. Yeah, but it didn't involve a fucking syringe. Yeah, no, I know. That part's not the best, but it's like, oh, my blood's gone. I feel so dizzy and sleepy now.

I don't know. Your house was weird. Investigators later learned border self-diagnosed for two children ages 8 and 11 with osteogenesis imperfecta, also known as brittle bone disease. You ever get three pints of blood taken from you and then just listen to Pink Floyd the animals? Pink Floyd's animals. It's great. That's where I first fell in love with the song, Dogs. exactly the children said they were forced to wear casts and neck braces even though they didn't

have injuries oh that's fun too that's a fun game that's what i was thinking about like what your mom was up to did she make your siblings put on like shit so they could like relate to you did she ever just make them put like stupid braces on their legs no my brother's sister are normal day like carl my brother's sister they got to be normal people growing up many they were the normies in the house i thought they would do that i thought they would do that to relate to you. No. They would put the braces on so they can see what it's like to be little Carl. Do you think I was liked growing up, Vinnie? Oh, I know

you were not. Of course not. I had Chad Zumach told me. You were not a cool kid. People weren't telling him. Yeah. The kids also said that their mother told him to pretend that he had broken bones and would put casts on him with materials. She stole from doctors. Authority said the 11-year-old was in a cast for over two

years. Yeah, by the way, I was like, that's nothing. By the way, yeah, well, good point. No, but you would think the kid would come home and be like, hey, mom, all the other kids at school say like bones like heal at a certain point, they're kind of calling your bluff on this line. You have osteogenesis imperfecta. They don't know what they're talking about. All right, fair enough.

The kids said their mother would often choke them and make them stand outside in the cold and throw objects at them. Kids quote said, another fun game. I was never safe and quote, the nine-year-old told investigators about a typical day his life. He said he slipped on the floor and was often hungry. He would try to sneak food into his room. But his father would search for it, he said. Oh, so the dad was an accomplice in all this. Yeah. And Borders was receiving money from the state to take care of these kids. So she is in a lot of trouble. Good. And she sounds like a bad mom. She's not a great mom. I'm going to go out and

say it. And I'm going to say this. Sounds like the dad. Not so great either. I don't think they were great. But the kids sound gullible. it's all you know when you're nine i guess all right well that is the scum parade for this week and carl i have breaking news what's up our pal over at hdb kicks ass just sent me a message while we were doing the show to let me know carl guess what we got our new uh crampmas shirts our crampish shirts are now available folks you could get them the link is now you ready for this yes for you folks watching youtube live i just sent the link out there you could grab those and have yourself a merry little cramp miss

with the creep off. H-T-B kicks-ass.com. H-T-B hide-the-bodies kicks-ass.com. And we thank you, folks, for your support to the show, as always. Remember, you can listen to those bonus episodes we did on Patreon. And, oh, man, all these pictures are popping up. Sorry, kids. No, that's okay.

Show the vote again. That's cool. I like that. Die, Carl. D. Carl, D. It's Latin for the Carl. now support the show find us on patreon find us on supercast you can listen to those bonus episodes

they were a lot of fun and our next bonus episode is coming up very soon carl it is guess what we're doing what are we doing now since i get to decide all these things i know it's great i've kind of like got to because carl is going to do it ladies and gentlemen it is going to be the listener challenge round two oh really really truly okay so this is where uh we're Listeners want to put their hat in the ring and say, I can argue a creep better than either of you assholes, Scott. Correct. Now, we learned a lot from the first one.

So there are going to be some changes to this episode. But on next week's edition of the creep off on Monday, we want to pick our challengers. So what I want you to do is leave us a voicemail this week, 585371, 80108, and tell us why, tell us number one, who you want to challenge, what category you want to challenge them in. and if you are a patron you get extra consideration let us know which Patreon level you are

if you're a creepomaniac or a true believer Excelsior true believers to the front of the line and not a joke we're going to take you on it's going to be a lot of fun

it's going to be a bonus episode so we hope you'll participate in that Carl anything you want to add before we go yes WATP live.com is where you can get your tickets to DabbleCon. DabbleCon, Vinny. I don't have to tell you this. This is going to be a big weekend.

Carl, I just had lunch with Shulie the other day when I was down in Bama. Oh, did you really? Yeah, we had a great time. Nice. I checked out his studio, went over to his house. Guys got a beautiful property out there, man. No shit.

Stern, when he was like, he's going to hate it down there. I'm like, God damn, dude. You got the life. That's awesome. It's not bad down there. That's awesome. So, yeah, DabbleCon, WATP Live.com. You can get tickets.

There's going to be four. different events pick and choose what you want to come to or you can buy the VIP package you get you hard everything i got a fun surprise for you that you don't even know about yeah i'm listening there could possibly be five events oh there's another there might be one more event that we are going to be adding i'm not going to say what it is yet because it's not done yet okay but carol i promise you you are going to love it okay so what we know right now is a comedy showcase on friday february third followed by karaoke with jenny jingles the comedy showcase is going to feature shooley

Anthony Coomia Vinnie Paulino Bob Levy Mike Morse Chrissy Mayer I will be your host an MC for that we have on Saturday afternoon

who are these podcasts and the Uncle Rico show each recording their episodes live for all you fine folks who want to come and check that out I will not be in charge of AV this time I promise you that

and then we have the first and last ever Debbie Award ceremony on Saturday night. Yay. And the Dabble Battle where you do your best Suttering John impressions. We have a Sittering John costume contest. And there's going to be all of the people of the Dabbleverse.

You know, Cardiff Electric claims he's doing a show in Buffalo that weekend. I have a feeling we're going to see him down here at DabbleCon. He's made the trip before. He came to the Carlson. Yes, he did. El Jorribe, I believe we'll be here. We're going to have a lot of the fine folks who are Estacho Depot. I'm a big fan.

of Al Horriblae. Me too. Let's not forget, Stucho's Fair Use Bologna Factory. We got all the big guns who are part of the devilvers coming to this. So this is going to be a big one. Yep. Don't forget Dave from Canada. Should be coming if he isn't. Hopefully he will be. And folks, tickets are available right now, WATP live.com. Get on it. Grab your tickets for that. And Carl, I believe that takes us to the end of the show. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice, Vinny. Gagia They thought that it was like a serial tea You think you could get away with that

Without your fake legal ramifications You're out of your fucking mind It's the cream off Can I tell you something as a friend? No, can I tell you something as a friend? You're the shits, you really are Podcastics

My name is the past in your podcast adventures Ciao Bella