The Creep Off - Episode 150: Murder Tips with Karl & Vinnie

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

This week Karl & Vinnie make their nominations for creepiest plumber: In WATC Karl reviews a podcast that has no business being in the true crime category: In the Scum Parade we meet a couple out on a very awkward first date, a Florida man who took down his Christmas decorations and the worst Mom ever. Read the stories below.Florida man accused of hitting wife with Christmas tree after asked to help with dinner (fox35orlando.com)West Virginia man accused of kidnapping and 'burning' woman with torch: police (yahoo.com)Woman forced to have sex with violent stranger to save life of man she was out with on first date in Sunderland | Sunderland EchoMass. mom accused of fatally strangling 2 of her young children, trying to kill infant | Truecrimedaily.com

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo.

God damn that. A little disgusting vomit-inducing thing. Ola creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinny. The Tower of Power, too sweet to be sour. A special shout out to all my true believers. Excelliore.

True believers. And joining me in the studio. We love to hate them, everybody. It's hot. Cuck, cacar. Some people like to like me, Vitty. Hey, what's happening? Vinnie Paulina.

How you doing, buddy? Palmy, we are on time. Dude, how are you celebrating the holiday today? Which holiday is it today? Oh, you didn't know? Today, January 30th, is Super Chat Day here in America. Happy Super Chat Day, everybody. Happy Super Chat Day, Vinny.

Wow, what are the chances that we're actually broadcasting during Super Chat? I heard an ugly rumor about you, sir. Oh, yeah? I heard you don't read Super Chat. Oh, who told you that? Who is spreading this rumor? I will read every Super Chat that comes in. It's a blind asshole.

Yeah, seriously. So, everybody, we got a fun one lined up for you today. But before we go too far, we have to go and review what happened last week. What was our category last week, Carl, Creepiest Senior Citizen? Yes, it was. And I forgot to load the scoreboard. You won. Fuck me.

God damn it. I would now like to debut the official scoreboard of the creep off. All right. Right up there in the top. It is now a tie game. two to two in this round of the creep off i like it vinny it's competitive i like it when it's competitive i do too it makes for a lot more fun you know what else makes it for a lot of fun what's a nice car ride well a nice long car ride you know it's funny because obviously tab set a note in

or a voicemail saying that i could visit him in st louis we could drive to gary so i i looked up he goes he goes oh it's an easy ride and of course tab loves driving i don't sure so i looked it up It's like four and a half hours each way. Like, that's not a fun easy drive, buddy. That's nine hours in a car. Yeah. As I mean, as opposed to 18 hours in the car to do it from Rochester. And I know the tab drives fast.

I know that. I've ridden with them before. But still, that's a long time. I might go back to the Chicago idea. Although I did look up to see if the Cubs were playing in St. Louis, which they normally are. And that was not happening anytime soon. Well, pal. Get your ass to Gary.

I got to figure it out, son. I'll figure it out, buddy. Okay. Now, folks, we opened it up on Twitter a week or so ago, and we got all sorts of fantastic suggestions as to categories for the show. Do you're in a good mood today or something? You're using these words I don't normally hear you use. So bizarre. What?

Am I acting weird? Yeah. I do like you enjoy the show. I love the show. Let me tell you something. Yeah, please. This is my favorite time of the week. Oh.

I love doing the show. I will never say I don't enjoy it. Even when I lose you, Carl, I'm still smiling because I enjoy the creep up so much. I'm impressed. I'm honestly a little surprised. Well, you know, I obviously, you know, did a bunch of better job than you last week. I thought you'd be kind of bummed about that. You did not do a better job than me.

Obviously, I did. No. I thought maybe you'd be like second guessing yourself a little bit. I think I did the right thing. I made the, I entertained the audience. Which is always the right thing to do, Carl. Yeah. You just learned that.

We're on episode 150 and you just learned that we should. entertaining the audience well i'm not going to lie for a while i was doing it for me there's some late bloomers out there it's fine we all get there eventually right buddy i'm really coming into my own you really are i'm proud of you uh today was a big milestone it out nicely it's a big milestone all right so we put out the suggestions of you guys and our uh the oracle himself alex put out a list now here's the fun thing about what alex puts out a list yeah i know we haven't done the category before because he knows everything we've ever done. Yeah, he's helpful. Because he's the Oracle. Yes. So there was one that was on that

list that I saw and I said, man, this is perfect because it's a category that we probably should have done before. We haven't gotten to it. It's creepiest plumber today, Carl. Oof, plumbers. They really get into some shit. Yep. They get right into your house and who knows what they do. You got to let them in. Yep. And they fuck around with your pipes people. Yeah, they do. my creep today is i'm not even i gotta wait but i was so personally appalled by this person i don't even know how else to describe well you look like you can't wait so let's get right into the creep off shall we and of course i won so i will go first with my creepiest plumber i'm going to take you to edmonton alberta and a man named blake joliker fucking metric system plumber what are you doing

Yes, Blake Joliker is a plumber up in Canada, and he's a guy that, you know, on the weekends, he wants to score some blow. He wants to have a little bit of fun. Okay. And the way that he scores his blow is from a 33-year-old woman named Saladina Vivacanos. Okay. And they had obviously texted each other and set up a meeting. so they were driving off to some parks somewhere and meeting up to exchange drugs. And that's where things went a little sideways.

Oh, no. An abundance of love for 33-year-old Saladina Vavancos was evident in the courtroom Friday as 23 victim impact statements were read aloud. For me, she was, she was sunshine, just beautiful. That's her sister, by the way. Yeah, she was sunshine. She brought the Coke. Of course everyone loved her.

Yeah, exactly. She really lit up a party. Person, always there for everybody. But her life was cut short. The Vancoast was beat to death in November 2019 in a drug deal gone wrong. When my mom found out, it broke her. All right. Why did she have to pay for the funeral?

She was beat to death, Vinny. Let's find out how bad this was. Now, you just heard that the mom was heartbroken, losing her daughter. And she didn't last very long through the trial. I could feel my mom's pain. The Vanco's mother had a terminal illness and died four days into the murder trial after hearing how 36-year-old Blake Joliker hit her daughter repeatedly in the head with a metal weapon. That's a fun way to go out, right?

Spent four days listening about how your daughter was brutally beaten to death as you're dying? That's a fun way. Do you think the... Do you think the prosecutor was like, no, no, no, no, keep her alive. I got more details. Yeah, right, no, no, no. We found a couple more. source. Hold on a couple more stores. Now,

on her sides, we got to get down to her sides. Don't die yet, ma'am. Stay with us. This is whatever your last name is. There's more gruesome details to come. His old lawyer calling the attack gratuitously violent. The autopsy found Vanco's suffered 56 blunt force injuries.

What Blake did to my sister is inhuman. His own attorney was like, yeah, it was a bit excessive. I don't know that he needed to beat her that fucking hard. So apparently he gets into the car with this woman to buy some blow. I don't know what happens there, but he decides

to murder her and just grabs whatever objects there in the car, beats her over the head until she dies. Yikes. Now, after that, he's got some evidence to get rid of, right? Yeah. Yeah. Let's see how he did with that. Did he start all the blow? I have a story on that too. After beating her, Jolly Kerr stuffed her body into her car and trying to light it on fire. Then he pushed

it onto a frozen pond. He was found guilty of second degree murder. It was a fucking Viking funeral. He tried to set the car on fire. That didn't work. It was like, fuck it. I'll just push it on to this pond over here. Unfortunately, global warming's not working as well as it should be because the ice didn't break.

And when she wasn't answering her phone, her family came looking for her and found her. And so he turned himself in a few days later. If he had just turned the fucking car on on the ice, the exhaust and the warmth from the car would have eventually made it melt in a little. would have gone through once again you want to get away with murder you got to listen to the creep off we're the show that teaches you how to get away with shit yep that's why most people listen i don't know if you know that of course don't do

that that was a survey that i put out why do you listen to the creep off it's like to eventually murder tips with it murder tips with carl and vitty so blake didn't offer or seek medical help for the victim he took her cell phone money purse and oliver coke and then deleted all the calls and texts Well, I mean, she doesn't need it. Well, that's true. That's a good point. So he was actually just recently sentenced, just this month, to life in prison with no parole for 12 years.

So in 12 years, he'll be up for parole. The family obviously is not happy about that. This incident took place, November 17th, 2019. It's been three years and two months. They finally sentenced this guy. So I guess Canada is also very slow with their court system. Well, you know what? It turns out I learned something today.

What's that? If your creep isn't from America, if your creepiest plumbers isn't from America, mine isn't from America. All the plumbers from the USA must be all right. All right, good. Yeah, I mean, I found a few examples that's not true as I was doing my research. And they didn't make the creep off. My creep is from England, Carl.

All right. Actually, I believe Wales is technically. Rotterham Wales or Yorkshire, Yorkshire. So I'm going to say, okay. Who cares? I don't need to know maps. His name is Leslie Burton. That's a girl name.

he's a plumber a married father of three a local scoutmaster carl uh oh and he was very well thought of in his community now that's a warning sign one afternoon in 2019 this is not going the way you guys think trust me this is i told you this man personally disgusted the fuck out of me in 2019 he does his best friend john a favor his buddy john's having a problem with his boiler in his house. Now, John is Leslie's BFF. David Frent since they were kids. Their families go on vacations together.

They're very close friends. So, on a Saturday, our boy goes over there. It helps him fix the boiler. So you know what John does? The good friend who's getting his boiler fixed by Leslie? What's that? He's like, you know what I'm going to go do? I'm going to go buy us lunch, pal. Oh, nice. Yeah, I'm going to go

get us some lunch. You want a sandwich? Sure, I'll take a sandwich. He's working out of the boiler. So he leaves. And as he leaves now how do i put this mr white has two daughters in the house he put in a security system like nanny cams because they're very young children okay and as he's standing in line waiting to get their sandwiches caro he gets a alert on his phone that someone went upstairs in his house okay and because there's a camera he's able to like live stream it and just see what's going on yeah

Well, imagine his surprise. Before you even say what you're about to say, this is why you install the cameras. I have friends who have these things. And all you ever see is a dog laying on a couch. It's so boring. It's like, why don't you even watch this? There's nothing happening. The whole point of putting care of his house and see some action.

Well, Carl. All right. Let's go. This guy would have preferred the dog scratching himself on the couch. Because this, again, is his childhood best friend. The wives are friends. They go on vacation together. shirt shirt and uh dude think about this though think about the mindset you're in your buddy's over

at the house he's fixing the thing you're getting some sandwiches you're probably going to have some beers after i just say how giddy you are right now whatever you're about to tell us you look absolutely giddy to share this information okay remember everybody the creep off was vini's idea look at how much he loves this shit so you want to see the footage all right yeah oh boy yeah You are way too excited about that. Okay, so there's 10 minutes of footage, folks. They have only released about 30 seconds of it, and I have pulled it. Here's my guess.

Can I take a quick guess at it? Please. Ain't only ranting children. Nope. I'm not going to show that video. I hope not. I can't hook my Zoom into the system. How can I show this?

So he looks into his bedroom, and he sees his buddy. Rubberging through his wife's... rubbing through his wife's bedside table and that little pink thing there is her dildo and he just took some loob and he's jerking himself off and now he goes into the bathroom they don't tell us what happens because they close it and he comes out looks like a job's well done his hand's a little sticky he's wiping his hand off on his pants and then he's putting it and he's putting the dildo back he's putting the dildo right back where it was now carol uh when it surprised you if I told you that this man was not only masturbating for multiple minutes

next to his best friend's bed while psychopathically staring at a pig dildo but then he went and used the dildo out himself in his private bathroom and then went and put it right back into the table side drawer you didn't wash it off with soap yet i don't know if he did that in the sink or not because there's not a camera in the bathroom i like some rubbing alcohol or something you got to sanitize that shit buddy according to mail online police arrested mr burton that afternoon. But here's the problem, Carl. Yeah. What's the crime? Well, honestly, you haven't even shown me a crime. You've just shown me something that I do all the time and get away with because people, my friends, I have cameras in their bedroom. Yeah. So I'm surprised. Okay, so this situation for

Carl would be like if Jen was going to get sandwiches and she found producer Chris using Carl's dildo on himself in their bedroom. Is that pretty much what you're saying? Is this how that would work out. Keep going, Benny. Okay. Moving on. It's like a personal. So they say to him, we can't charge him with anything.

He didn't do it in public. And you invite him to the house. Yeah, they're like vampires, masturbators. If you invite him into your house, then they have power. That's the problem right there. Dude, this guy had to a fucking dildoed himself in that bathroom. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's why you carry a

dildo. And he fucking squirted his hand full of fucking loob and oh gross so your best child and friend is still doing himself in your bathroom when you're in line to buy him lunch yep that's fucking horrific all right now my question is if you're in live do you pay for the food or do you just go right home oh because yeah so he's he's watching all this yeah he's standing in line going what the fuck what the fuck leslie i don't know what i do in this scenario i'm telling you so the cops arrested but they have to let him go for that but when they arrested him they also took a look at his computer at his house because this is ignorant they could do lots of things okay turns out carl when you live by the hidden camera

you die by the hidden camera okay because it turns out that mr leslie burton was hiding covert devices in the homes of people that he was working for and And he had footage on his computer of the inside of other people's houses, especially installed bathroom cams. Interesting. Okay. Now, so he's familiar with that bathroom then.

Yeah. So he's resigned from his plumbing firm. He's stepped down as a scout leader. And now in 2022, he's admitted to burglary, voyeurism, possession of extreme pornography. He's pled guilty. Time out. Possession of extreme pornography. Whatever that means in England.

Well, I don't like to. out of that. Yeah. So not only does he ruin the safety of his best friend's bedroom. He's fucking spying on other people's houses, on their shitters. He's putting cameras everywhere. Yeah. So he's

waiting to be sentenced, same as your guy is. He hasn't been sentenced yet. So, ladies and gentlemen, he's pled guilty. So I feel safe and saying, it's okay that we can judge him as a creep. But that's him. Leslie Burton fucking disgusting. Just fucking sick.

The way you built that up, I really thought it was going to be something different, but I like it. I like your freeze-ad-ditcher. Dude, this is the most disgusting person. Why? Because he shut the dildo in his ass? In his best friend's bedroom. I'm not trying to king-shame somebody. But dude, it's your house, dude.

Don't go into fucking somebody else's house and take his wife's dildo. It's our fucking jackhammering yourself next to his bed. Vinny, I'm going to hit a drop here. Well, he's buying you a goddamn sandwich. People can go vote on our subreddit. if you go to the Creepoff subreddit Reddit.com slash the creepoff, I believe. To where you can find that.

And you can vote for who you thought brought the bigger, creepier plumber. And at this time, Who are these I will read Super Chat? All right, that's my Super Chat drop. I don't like that. I don't ever want to hear that again. Don't play that on this show.

All right, I won't. I want to think Card of Electric coming in with $2.79 from some country. Hey, Cardiff. Vinnie makes me pay to plug Subrun and Surfing APF. Good job, Vinny. Yeah, Ben. You're great.

Richard Lucas with five bucks. Did he sniff it like Biden? That's a good question. We don't know. But he did carry it back to the bedroom and put it back. And he was carried it with two fingers when he brought it back. So I can imagine it might still be a little right. Before I even mentioned that,

Cardiff says, I use a VPN to SuperChet and Canadian dollar to save money. Hashtag Minnesota. Yeah. He's a lake or threw it through that car. has anyone ever been more ashamed of the country they live in than cardiff electric jesus you would hope people from have some pride other countries would be more ashamed but whatever some true patriot love vini didn't even try fuck you shout out and tired fuck you dude that's a step dude that is a creep

you just triggered me bit that's the name of this episode viny didn't even try no it's murder tips with carl and vitty all right oh fuck you so i got a fun announcement to make for the uh patreon bonus episode this wednesday oh yeah we have a very special guest joining us first time on the show mr jim florentine oh yeah what is this guy like a creep or something is that all you guys think that's creepy behavior is that what you guys talk about on the show yeah people being creeps yep that's what we do jim all right it's gonna be fine all right what time i love jim he's going to be be fun. He's going to have a blast. So we are going to be doing a show Wednesday at 1130 a.m.

Eastern Time live on Patreon. We do that by the way, supercast every Wednesday now. And now on backed.com. That's right. We were doing Dick's, um, Patreon substitute. Guess how many subscribers we have on that already? Six and a half? Zero. Not a one. I was over, I was over shooting. dick only has like 60 yeah it's interesting it's kind of cool it's decentralized like a decentralized version of patreon and you can't be

deplatformed off it correct yeah so it is a very cool product yeah and people should check out back dot buy it because it is a Patreon substitute that works on the blockchain there's no banks involved whatsoever no governments involved

so we cannot get censored or shut down using it which is nice that's where we'll put the hard stuff. Ugh. What was the thing that the guy got charged for? Extreme pornography. That's where we put the extreme pre-prolop episodes. Well, I wouldn't call it pornography.

I mean, I keep my clothes on. But folks, please check that out, support the show. We really truly appreciate you. And like I said, live episodes, live bonus episodes every Wednesday now. Yes. So that's going to be a lot of fun. And next up for this episode, Vinny, is another installment of

Creepos. Who are these creepos? Is the segment we've been doing on the show because we are the number one true crime podcast on the internet. We don't want to just say that. Only nobody knows it yet. We want to prove it.

And the way that we prove it is petty. We check out other people's true crime shows and then we tear them apart because they suck. That last guy, I had to show that to people this week. I was like, you won't even believe with this guy's calling a show. And then I had to explain to my friend Kevin that he tried to sue the Eiffel Tower in Plymouth Rock. I know.

We were. Guys, great. Yeah, please. Can we just watch him again? Has he had new videos? Yeah, where is he now? I'm outside of a courthouse in California. There's the courthouse.

There's the parking lot. That's your people park when they're going into the courthouse. And there is the gate. There's the gate. They'll put you the number. Beep, beep, beep, bo, beep. he was something else that was the best thing I've ever seen

I want to get one of those hats that he was wearing just says press on it I'm sure that opens a lot of doors I told you we should put wear a podcaster hat I'm a podcaster everywhere for like a month

on the wheel of consequences well Vinnie we're going in the very different direction this week because I went and checked out a Reddit thread you're familiar with Reddit what's the worst true cry podcast out there

this is a long thread a lot of people throwing out different ideas And that's where I stumbled upon this show that was mentioned multiple times in that thread called Full Body Chills. You ever heard of Full Body Chills, Vinny? You know that I haven't. Well, strap in, get your headphones out because this is a very professional production. This episode was produced with audio effects in full surround sound.

For the best experience, we kindly recommend you listen with headphones. Hi, listeners, I'm Jason Simon, and I have a story I want to tell you. A story of bedtime. Is this ASMR bullshit? Hungry and foul. So gather around and listen. No, this is a ghost story podcast, but you just heard them say, you got to listen with headphones, we got surround sound, we have all of this production value, and you know what that means? My favorite thing on podcasts, fully work.

Like any other night. He first took out his wallet and keys and set them on the nightstand. Next, he sat down on the bed and peeled off his socks. Laying down on top of the messy bed's bread, he stared into his phone screen, dull-eyed. Doesn't it feel like you're there? You hear him pulling his socks off? That's infuriated. Do you know how bad I would be at Foley Work? As bad as these people? Because this is terrible.

Carl, you be the narrator. I'll do the Foley Work. Okay, here we go. Vinny walked into the pizza huts. There, he walked up to the counter and ordered a personal pan pizza. 17 personal pan pizzas, please. Oh my God, buddy, you can eat all those? I certainly have. Would you like access to our salad bars, sir? The what?

No. All right. So I want you to brace yourself, Vinny. Okay. It's about to get scary. all right so you just heard this 21 year old kid gets home goes into his bedroom plops down in the bed staring at his phone uh-oh what's next there couldn't be anyone else in the house hold on a second hold on a second hold on stop it did you say a 14 year old kid lay a 21 year old kid

looking at his cell phone laid out his bed yeah what's next yeah where's that guy's dildo pretty good fully work right there thank you that was bad there couldn't be anyone else in the house but what was that noise his grip on the phone tightened his jaw cinched shut didn't he lock the front door his breathing became shallow as every muscle constricted waiting for something to grab him he knew that something was after him glad i had my headphones yeah i know pretty scary stuff isn't it so after that so you hear this kid's like afraid that someone's in the apartment with him or whatever he's full on ready to get raped yeah this kid's like and i knew someone was coming to grab me so i flipped over on my stomach and put my bottom

of the air that's how bitty depends himself it's my defense position that's your defense position right there all right just give it to me let's get it over with i'm ready spin out of first all right so this is spin out of first is bitty's catchphrase outside of podcasting by the way a lot of don't know that. Yeah, that's what they call me. Old spit first, Paulineau. Let's hear some more fully work because this guy is going to take a pill to relax here. He quickly reached over for an orange bottle and twisted off its cap.

Taking a little white pill from it and washing it down, he completed the next step of the routine. It made him feel better for a moment. I thought I was listening to Ethan Ralph for a second there. So noisy grabbing his pill bottle. Just taking pills on the air. So noisy. Okay. All right.

So now, Vinny, there's more pig noises. But he doesn't. That's Vinny. That's Minnie saying that, Ralph. Who? Oh, I thought you know about the guy from the honeymooners. Are you talking about Ethan Ralph? Ethan Ralph.

That guy that you always talk shit about behind the seeds? Yeah, that fat, behind the seeds. They're talking about it on the podcast all the time. That fat, no-tail-and- fuck. That guy, yeah. Oh, okay. That was Carl. Yeah, I know, no shit.

So, Minnie, actually, he just put out a wrestling event that Dick went to in New Jersey. Did you get an invite for that? Nope. Oh, I'm surprised. You would have had a blast. I'm not surprised. Oh, it's too bad. My association with you gets me thrown out of so many social circles.

That's a good point. It's a really good point. Whoops. All right, so after this, by the way, this is all very exciting stuff. So this kid goes into his room and then I want, let's get his phone for a little. while, then he takes some pills, then he gets up and takes a shower. And in this time that he's taking a shower, the monster, who's also narrating this for some reason, uh, sneaks in through the window.

He had today's dirty clothes, which he tossed towards the hamper, missing the shot. He yawned and approached the bed. His ankles were mere inches away. It would have been easy for me to just grab him right there, drag him under and entangle him in my limb smothering his face with one open palm. But in my pursuit, a predator

must be patient. How is this even true crime? I know. I'm sorry. I'm part of the true crime thread. What the fuck is this? It's stupid. It's a really dumb gross story. It's really fucking stupid. And it just drags out and on. This entire thing is just in this

kid's bedroom. And there's like a monster. So does his uncle rape him or what? What is what? The monster was out of side, now the monster's inside. And now you'd think as Ben was like yawning and walking towards his bed. All right, he's going to go to sleep now. Nope. Not yet.

For good measure, he locked the bedroom door before hopping in bed. Wasn't it lucky he skipped checking underneath? I knew Ben wasn't going to sleep just yet. He continued his nightly ritual by reaching into his backpack and retrieving

out a set of headphones and the laptop. Ben typed away busy with homework or games. It's rather annoying when they make me wait like that. He lives by himself. Why is he putting in headphones? Maybe it's been to hear this podcast. To listen to this podcast. Yeah, it must be it. And they're like, hey, are you under my bed? I just heard your narration. I laid that the monsters just like, oh God, this is, just get out with this. It takes a long. Yeah. You're saying what we're all thinking right now, buddy. Exactly. From your monster lips to God's ears. So finally, this kid falls asleep, I guess.

Ben Yard and shut his laptop. I quickly slid back under the bed. The laptop was deposited on the floor the headphones put into the nightstand. He rolled and turned, springs, squeaking with each shift as he tried to find a comfortable position. The tossing and turning became more sporadic with time, and soon he had drifted off. Okay. All of this has been completely unnecessary up to this point,

this is the worst one you've brought it. It's so stupid. It's very well produced, but boy, does that fucking stink. Yeah, I mean, even people in the chat are talking about how boring this is. I apologize. I'm the one of the way to listen to it today. Not you. So now the kid finally asleep.

The monster is snuck into his room is finally ready to attack. For whatever reason, I wait for the kid to fall asleep, but this is not explained at any point. You're ready for the attack? There better be a fucking payoff on this. Try to make sense of what's going on here, Vinny. I struck. One hand smothered his face, another bound, both legs, and his waist was restrained with two more. Snapping out of the slumber, been desperately thrashed around panicking, frantically fighting to break free.

There was no use. Ever I had them in my grasp. A gag, a belch, and then an act with old sludge spewed out of each palm. His attempts to scream were choked by the. foul vile, but moved out between my fingers turned from orange to a shade of red as it worked its magic.

Each spot that I grasped began to feel soft like wet paper machine. Are you following this at all? No. I almost think and I've heard it's a few times now that he's got mouths in his hands and his hands

are eating this guy? I'm very confused. The floydworks not helping. I'm not hearing munching noises. or crunching. I don't know what's happening. With an arm for a leg and a leg for an arm. So apparently, this monster eats batten. And then he leaves.

He doesn't even lock up behind him. He just leaves. And then he's scrolling through the neighborhood. Now, many, this story's over at this point, but it's still going on. He already murdered somebody, right? He already ate this, Ken. But for some reason, it's still going on

as he's observing the houses in the neighborhood and looking at more potential victims. Two stories. Shingle roof, the lovely. the escapable window cracked open to let in the summer air. It was a house full of dreamers. But, on the second floor, someone was wide awake. They weren't in bed, no.

I knew they were up and about. Their heart was thumping breath short. I could feel the butterflies in their stomach. What could you be doing, stranger? Have you checked under your bed? Did you hear something in the kitchen? What the hell is it supposed to be? Sleep well tonight.

There are no intruders. Not tonight. Then what the fuck are we talking about? Binnie, what is going on here? Why do people make bad things? Why does anybody listen to something like this? For those who look for a bogey man, I am more.

than happy to meet them halfway. That's the big payoff. So apparently if you believe in a bogey man, as he said, then the bogey man will come and find you. Yeah. Well, you know what happens when you go into people's houses? What's that? You think you can get away with that?

Without having legal ramifications? You're out of your fucking mind. Yeah, just go into people's houses and murder them and eat them? That rant makes me laugh every fucking time you play it. He is so bad at talking. My friend, have committed a crime. All right, so Vinny, I'm scratching my head. That's why my hair was like, shit.

I'm going, why the fuck? I'm going, what the fuck is going on here? Who is this for? Who would want to hear this? And at the very, very honest, they're giving the credits because it shows like this, so he'd have to pat themselves on the back. I finally figure out who this is for.

So, what do you think, Chuck? Do you approve? All right. So it's for a fucking dog, I guess. Great. Thanks. Thanks for making me listen to full body chills, a show about a boogeyman waiting for a kid to fucking fall asleep so that they can then eat the kid and then walk around the neighborhood looking at other houses and he might potentially go to the future. He's like, he's like one of those couples that just like to go drive around looking at a real estate out of Sunday. Yeah. Jesus. That was stupid. It was pretty fucking bad, Vinny. You know what's better than that besides everything? What's that? The creep off. You're right. You want some voicemails, Carl?

Hold on a second. Let me just real quick. Cam Critical coming in with five bucks. You guys kind of glossed over the football segment last week. Can Carl give an update? Dude, are you seeing this outrage over the officiating of the Kansas City Cincinnati game? I did not watch the game yesterday. I did.

And people feel like it was fixed. And one of the things that I saw was that Patrick Mahomes is now in the Super Bowl that's being played at State Farm Field. And Patrick Mahomes happens to be the biggest spokesperson for State Farm. The NFL rigged the game to make sure that one of their biggest sponsors had one of their biggest spokespeople featured in the Super Bowl. Okay. Anyway, that's what the NFL rigged a game that they fucked Miami over.

How so? By letting them not have a play clock. They have all these rules about concussions. They wouldn't let a quarterback play. Dude, that San Fran game yesterday was so sad. You have your third-string quarterback go out. And now they're playing with, at a certain point, what does not? The running back was the quarterback.

McCaffrey? Yeah. I was just like, oh, God, this is so pathetic. But anyway, who do you like Philly, Kansas City? I don't care. I really don't care. But you know what? I'm going to pick.

I'm going Philly. I don't care, but I'm taking Philly because we're going there, so. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. where we got, our tickets are on sale for Philadelphia. You ready for some voicemails? Yeah, what do we got? The Creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse,

Syracuse, the official health care provider of all 49er quarterbacks. See you in Syracuse. Right. All right. I have a suggestion for you. A listener may have solved the Gary, Indiana driving problem for you. And I am willing, this is a fair compromise. and I'm completely good with it.

Whoever this says, brilliant. Okay, Carl doesn't want to make the big road trip to Gary. Okay, here's an idea. You're heard of a greyhound, Carl? You take like a month to get to this consequence. I think you just, you need to take a greyhound. And you don't have to drive. Makes it fun for everybody.

I'd love to see some of the folks who, you find yourself next to you can work at WATB fuck yourself love you guys I have to say traveling by bus is not the worst way to travel there's a lot of room on there if you go by mega bus you have to buy the cheapest bus ticket

Mega bus here's the rules you have to buy the cheapest bus ticket to Gary Indiana you can find I don't think buses drive to Gary Indiana I'd be surprised if they did there's nothing there to go to who's traveling to Gary Indiana go there you know what they do

the bus is all stopping Gary just to dump out the shit out of their tanks. And they don't even stop. They just, like, open the hatch by the highway. That's where Dave Matthews band fucked up. They should have just driven a little bit further to Gary and then gotten rid of all their waist. No one would have said anything.

Nobody would have said a goddamn word. Here's one. And the answer to this, I will tell you ahead of time, absolutely not. Mr. Paulino, can you please, please, please add? creeps and roses back to the wheel of consequences there has a new season of the bachelor's yeah there is it's so goddamn funny that you have to do creeps and roses at some point yes we got to get PJ out of retirement PJ Philly and Vinnie teaming up yet again I texted PJ two weeks ago to say hello and he never responded

to me. Usually he does text me back. Maybe he's jealous of Cardiff. Maybe. You know, PJ Philly would be so good on subreddit surfaced? Yeah, it'd be an improvement. That'd be an upgrade for sure. Yeah, I was going to set him in Cardiff up. They could do a good show together? Let's see what else we got here.

Hey, Carly, Vinny. This is Noah from Minnesota. Hi, Noah. I just wanted to call and thank you guys for getting Cardiff Electric put everywhere on all your podcasts I hate the guy at first

but like eyes growing with potato he has grown on to me and I wanted to thank you guys for that thank you guys for that. I thought that was going in a different direction no that was actually kindness

all right cool is that a Canadian phone number that came in from must have been must have been here's a do you please call the creep off and say that you like me

or please call in the creep off thank you Yes Hello, this is Nate Longtime listener First time calling I got to deal with a consequence Why not go to a Walmart

And advertise Like take off your shirt Pay yourself black and green Pull up a little like sign And just Advertise it For like eight hours You know

It's a win-win Advertise it And it's a punishment too Thank you Fuck you bye advertising to creepoff is already a consequence to Carl if you've ever listened to any of his appearances on any show that should be on the way I have to plug this show

when I'm doing appearances so wait the idea was we take your shirt off at Walmart with a creep off sign yeah don't think people already do that sir you want us to run around Walmart bother people thanks for your call but you got to rethink that one uh hey I got a review from last week episode of Subreddit Surfing, would you like to hear it? Yes. Okay.

Can't wait. Subredit Surfing episode 3 is the worst. Oh my God. That's the worst fucking Joe. Oh, boring. Boring. Oh, my God. We'll do better.

Yeah. We'll do better. Well, I'm just throwing it out there. I mean, obviously hindsight is 20-20, but if you want to talk to people who are the laziest people in the world, they might not show up to talk to you. Yeah, that's a good point. It's a solid point. Hey, will you explain why you don't want to work?

I would, but I don't feel like talking about it. Yeah, I don't like talking about not working. That sounds like work. Okay. Here's a guy who I really appreciate this next call, Carl, because this is a listener who's explaining their logic on how they voted last week. Oh, good. And I appreciate that.

I want to hear you know. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Joe, Pal, Pete. I'd like you to make a better. points as to what makes your creeps actual creeps. For example, here's why I voted for Carl. She wrote everything down in her journal, so you know

she wrote down her dreams. And if you've ever heard a woman, explain her dreams, you know why that's creepy. Imagine trying to solve a crime and having to sit through things like, last night I dreamt I was a fox, but my tail was a willow branch and I only ate eggs. The eggshells wouldn't

crack, so I was a hungry fox. And other stupid shit like that. Fuck her, she's a creep. Very good, sir. You know what? You have to listen to the things I don't say sometimes to understand how much of a creep. Fuck that. Just vote for me, please.

Hey, guys. I almost forgot the Mr. Magenta's Matthew Lewinsky parody song that was styled after Uncle Crackers follow me. I don't know if Mr. Magenta knows this, but if he does, props to him for these subtle layers. Matthew Schneider, a.k.a. Uncle Cracker from Macomb County, Michigan. Matthew Lewinsky from McComb County, Michigan. Yeah. Just not you like to know. See you. All right. Interesting. Where's Kid Rock from? Who cares? Hey, did I ever tell you the best thing that happened at the Rick Flair final match? Oh, the ending? Yes. The ending. When Rick Flair, after he passed out twice in the ring, because he's 72 years old, as a pacemaker and should be doing what he was doing right got out and they gave him the microphone and he just starts ranting in circles and he goes and tonight tonight we're going to kid

rock's bar and i laughed so fucking hard yeah you learn very quickly once you do that like this was a bad decision this is a bad choice oops could you imagine rick flair run around trying to borrow money from people in rick flair's bar or not kid rock's bar i could all right you guys ready to move on to the Scum Parade. Let's go. Scum Parade. Take me on a raid of these fuck charades

that these creeps have made. Scum Parade. Vinny and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade like stories of a kid fucked by his mom or dad

soaking up the blood of a cat. Scum parade. Now remember, before I read this next sentence, folks, that it happened in Florida, and it happened on January 27th, a month after Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Florida. You got to get no shit to tell her.

Why don't let the creepy bucks? Who's the hell going? Maybe it's a podcast Oh, day Oh, baby don't be in a gift Uh-huh Come on for a girl All right

A Florida man is facing charges After he allegedly hit his wife With a Christmas tree January 27 Yes After she asked for help with making dinner He should be mad at her for not putting the Christmas tree away yet.

That's what I'd be upset with him. This man does have lots of gripes. Yeah. Very valid gripes. Richard Atkinson, 52, is arrested on multiple charges, including domestic battery. Officers said the incident happened Monday evening at a home in Fruitland Park. The two had gotten into an argument after the woman asked for help with making dinner. And at some point, the woman reportedly put a spoon in the sink.

According to accidentally splashy Atkinson. Uh-oh. The report said Atkinson lost his temper began packing his. his things, went outside to his vehicle, he then returned home because he had been drinking and told his wife to leave instead. Okay. That's responsible. Hey, I'm hammered.

You got to get it. I can't go anywhere, bitch. You got to go. You splenish the fucking spruce. I just picture Jim fucking Leahy right now. This guy's got to be hammered. When she tried to leave, like she's doing what he told her to do, he shoved her, then picked up the Christmas tree from the corner of the room and threw it at her.

What is he an Avenger? He's throwing trees in people? That's impressive. I like the fact that he didn't want to drive under the influence because he doesn't want to break any laws. But he will beat the shot of his wife. That one's fine. No issues there.

What would the baby Jesus say? I don't think he'd be disappointed. Good call. He was booked into Lake County Jail without incident. But, man, he blocked the front door. Oh, man. What a fucking ass. This guy really is.

Yeah, he seems like a great acridged. Now, a man in West Virginia Carl was arrested after he allegedly kidnapped and tortured a woman. Not great. No. Officers found the female victim

hiding underneath the porch of a Philippi of a Philippi West Virginia residence and told the police that Sammy Martz, 47, had hit her in the face. The female victim told police officers that she had escaped the residence via the rear window and ran from the residence to hide. Martz threatened to kill her

and had burnt her with torch on her stomach and her leg. Oh, bitch, bitch, bitch. The victim told police while she was being treated by first responders that Martz was inside the residence and then he had a firearm. So the law enforcement agencies tried to enter the home to take Martz into custody. Martz told law enforcement officers that he did harm the victim that he did harm the victim by striking her and burning her with a torch on at least three occasions.

And he was like, I didn't even know there was laws against that. What's the relationship between these two people? Did you figure that out? Nope. I think she's a prostitute that he didn't let leave, which is the opposite of how you should treat prostitutes. Isn't that why you get the prostitutes? Letting them leave is the best part of having a prostitute.

It's what you're really pain for. Yes, right. And make sure she claps while you're in the shower. I want to hear you clapping. Every 12 seconds. I want to hear you clapping out there. That's the funniest thing. I need to hear you clapping the whole time.

I forgot about that rule Dude, I don't want to judge a book I don't want to judge a book by its cover But I'd say Sammy probably isn't husband material Did you see the photo of this guy? Yeah, I fucked up and I didn't loaded the picture I had it She should have used the torch on his beard The guy would still be burning

Okay, wrestling fans, I'm going to describe him to you really simply He looks like he could be a brisco brother If that helps It probably doesn't Now he seemed to have a lot of fun with his mug shot Oh yeah, he made some happy faces Yeah. He used the four or five hour period with the female victim to torture her by striking her all over her body, sitting on her and burning her with the butane torch.

He's in custody of Tiger Valdi regional jail and was given no bond after being charged with kidnapping. So don't be a whore in West Virginia. There's your lesson. Yeah. Don't make house calls in West Virginia. Don't they train these girls? Don't they have like a... No.

No. They actually do not. Don't they train these girls? Don't they go to vocational school for this? No. You know, if they legalized prostitution? Yeah. Do you think they'd have Hooker College? I think that it would be like a Womoco or a Boese. It'd have to be like a Boce's. Yeah, like in New York State, we have this thing, Boses. It's where kids who maybe like school wasn't for them, they can go learn how to like work on cars or something.

I think like the horrors at the school should go learn out to be horrors. in 11th to 12th grade. They're going to need to know math. And they become a lot more popular once we find out there in that course. Like, oh, interesting. All right. I tried to think of a good name for the whor bosses.

I don't know what it would be. Swallowhurst Academy or something stupid like that. Sure. Try to make it sound glassy. Yeah, I mean, I would call it Spitzer Academy. Spitzer? We don't know these guys. David after Elliot.

There you go. All right. All right. Let's talk about something that happened in Newcastle, England, Carl. Okay. This is a real bad one. A woman was walking home with her date. It's on her first date.

Yeah. They're making plans to meet again. When they were targeted by a gentleman named Sean Robinson. Okay. The woman in her 20s was then told by the attacker, well, hold on. I'm sorry. He jumped out of bushes.

Yeah. He surprised them. and he gave the man, the guy she's on her date with, a severe beating, and left him lying unconscious and bleeding on the ground. Well, before that, I actually had the audio of when he came out in front of these two. Let's hear it. Do you mind if we dance with your dates? Well, no, not at all. Go right ahead.

Bing, bang, pow. Actually, this kid is an 18-year-old who doesn't look like he could kick anyone's ass. I was very surprised that he did this with his hands. He had to use a weapon, right? It didn't say anything about a weapon. Well, the woman in her 20s was then told by the attacker, if you come over and have sex with me right now, I won't kill him. Sounds like a fair trade.

Talk about your first day nightmares. Prosecutor Jane Wow told the court that in a desperate bid to save the man's life, the courageous victim endured a sickening rape ordeal. She witnessed a horrific violent. act and knew what this guy was capable of. So she decided in order to save his life and protect yourself from the defendant's unpredictable violence. She would agree to have sex with him so he would leave the man alone.

Thank you. This is a real fucking pickle. It's not what you want to be in. I mean, what do you do? You let the homicidal maniac enter you sexually. Vinny is what you do. I don't want to. What if I don't want to?

So court heard Robinson made the victim lie on an old coat he found near some bushes. Nothing gets a girl wetter than that. It's romantic. Yeah. I hope he laid it over a mud puddle that made her like. After you, my dear. She said that she cried through the whole attack. The defendant told her, if you stop, I will go and kill him, you know, like multiple times as he was raping her.

Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Also, his go-to was to tell her to stop being a baby, which is also my go-to in bed as well. Yeah. Girls love that. Stop being such a baby. Stop being a baby. Cry to your mom.

Judge Stephen Earl said Robinson is dangerous and sentenced him to five years behind bars with an extended three-year license period with sex offender registration. This man assaulted a dude almost knocked him unconscious and then forced a woman to have sex, but he only got five years. and he really ruined what was a nice date they were making plans for the second day they very much enjoyed each other's company they couldn't wait to see each other again and this guy really he made it so like now

I don't think they're going to want to go out with each other anymore might bring back some bad memories you know oh no no no no if I'm this guy I'd demand a second date Minnie have you ever beaten someone within like an inch of their life before not within an inch of their life yeah me neither why would i yeah i know i know i haven't either yeah so either way this whole thing's fucked up and i would say

this though i don't think that if the shoe is on the other foot i don't think i would have been as courageous like if you don't think you would have let this guy uh have sex with you to save me no like if a lesbian jumped out of the bushes and beat the shit out of my wife and was like get over here and let me fist or i'm gonna kill her why would it lesbian wanted a fist too i don't know i'm trying to come up and none of this makes any sense you know what you're right that podcast you played earlier made more fucking sense yeah imagine that the monster came into my bedroom so this guy was beaten unconscious yes he came to in the hospital yeah and they said so sir about your date we have some good news and some bad news

the good news is it ended with sex oh wow yeah i'm just glad someone got laid Now, this story made some national news this week, but holy shit, Carl. Doxbury, Massachusetts, a mother faces charges, well, she did, but she's dead now, after she allegedly straggled two of her children to death and tried to kill an infant and then herself. Tried to kill an infant? That's the easy part. Ma'am, come on. You're not trying that hard.

Yeah, she's a bit of a failure. The Doxbury police got a phone call. That's just a bit. They get a phone call at six. 11 p.m. from a man who said he came home and a woman in his rest in it had jumped out the window. That doesn't happen every day.

So you pull up in your driveway and your wife's laid in the front of the front lawn faced out and the windows open on the second story. Napping outside again, huh? Lazy. Can you please get the gardening done this time? You're always passing out. There's a wide o'clock

somewhere, honey? Someone's been drinking. So this happened on Tuesday, January 24th. The police and fire department arrived at the seat and transported the woman to the hospital. She's dead now. She died from all this. But first responders reportedly located three children under five years old in the home

who were all unconscious with obvious signs of trauma. The five-year-old girl with a three-year-old boy were taken to the hospital where they were pronounced dead. A seventh-month-old boy was reportedly flown to the hospital in Boston for treatment. Crew said the deaths were unimaginable and senseless. Dude, all I can

think when I was reading this article, those kids must be so annoying. they must be the most annoying brats they were so goddamn annoying she still threw herself out the window after she choked them thank god they're dead but maybe they'll come back to life maybe I'll have more monsters with that husband of mine I have to end it all

wow by the way if I were a parent thank God I'm not I would have a portrait of this woman in every room of my house just say kids keep pushing my buttons you know who I look up to right you know my hero has you know what this lady did for a living Carl I don't know. Motivational speaking. She was a delivery nurse at the hospital. Oh, okay.

She's like, I brought a whole bunch into the world. I can take a couple out. I got a couple do. Oh, Winsie Clancy. You died too young. Yeah. So she tried to, she strangled the two kids that badly. They didn't die, but they eventually died from being strangled. I've never

heard of that before. Fucking kids are pussies. Yeah. It's pretty weak. Yeah. This is why there's no mural for them like there is for DeMar Hamlin. You're not going to get a mural by dying when you're

three. Carl's going to paint the mural of the lady. Just with their arms spread open, flying through the air towards the front lawn. With a giant smile on her face. Yeah, I did it. Oh, shit.

Yeah, that's my scope parade today, Carl. Oh, boy. Yeah, some of the scum parade stories are worse than a creeps. brought it in the past. Wow. Yeah. No, nobody's worse than my creep today. He's the most disgusting creep that ever was to say. No, stop it. He betrayed his good friends. He's like, dude. He keep trying to sell this. In his friend's bedroom. In his best friend's bedroom. The heart of you try to sell this, I think. With the guy's wife's dildo. Yeah, I know. I know what

happened. I saw it. Duh. All right. Next week, we'll be back with a brand new episode. Remember to vote at Reddit. And remember, we'll be doing a live bonus episode this Wednesday with Jim Florentine on our Patreon on our Supercast. If you live anywhere near the Rochester area, Western New York, Ontario, Canada, Pennsylvania, you should probably come to our DabbleCon events this weekend coming up. You know why we were on time today? Because Carl had to be here an hour early for a meeting. I did. And we had a great talk. We got everything planned out that we needed to. You feel good, Carl? You feel confident? I feel confident. great about it. WATP Live.com is where you can go to get tickets. We have a stand-up show this

Friday that my buddy Vinnie will be on. I'll be hosting the event. Who else do we have on that show, Vinny. Earl Skakel. Yes. Chrissy Mayer. Anthony Coomia. I've heard of him. Mike Morris. Egar, Mike Morris, the Reverend Bob Levy. Yeah. And Julie's going to be there. It's going to be great. Don't hold it against us. It's going to be a great event. It's a star-studded cast for our stand-up. And then we have live. podcasting the Dabby Awards this Saturday, February 4th. So think about coming down and hanging out with this. It's going to be a great time.

And tune in tonight to Subreddit Surfing at 8 o'clock on the Subreddit Surfing YouTube channel. Cardiff and I will be doing a much better job than we did last week. Oh, also, if you are on the Who Are These Podcasts, Patreon or Supercast, I did send out a note this morning with a link to the YouTube video. We're going to have Mike Morrison with myself, producer Chris, breaking down. the 11th part of easy for you to say sitting John's autobiography that's going to be live at 4 o'clock today and then we'll have the edited version out by tomorrow hey carl somebody just

wrote uh before dabalcon gets canceled due to the weather uh this is rochester new york shit don't get canceled for the weather dumb dumb we'll be fine we'll be fine thankfully i live like a mile down the road from the i sleep i sleep in a cot here in the building yeah so we'll be fine All right. We'll be here. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia.

The cars are passing me by, they honk and say hello. And I got a jacket on him. What the hell is he supposed to be? You think you could get away with that? You know. That'd be a big of age. You're going to get a fucking hard. Thank you.

My friend. Chow-D-D-D-W-W-W-D-W-A-C-T-W-A-C-C-C-T-W-C-C-T-C-C-C-T-C-C-C-T-C-Bella. May your enemies be cursed in your podcast adventures.