The Creep Off - Episode 177: True Crime Besties

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Today, Karl and Vinnie try not to murder each other as they present their nominations for Creepiest Tattoo Artist. In WATC, we check in with a true crime "10" with a bizarre way of ending sentences on a show called Serial. In the Scum Parade, we meet a really dumb thief, a couple who enjoy the company of dogs, and a very progressive mom.The score is currently 1-0 in favor of Vinnie, visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerCheck out the Scum Parade stories: Bright red Crocs lead detectives to Florida man accused of robbing bakery where he used to work (yahoo.com)Grandma pushed down stairs, hit with sauce can in fatal fight with daughter, cops say (yahoo.com)State police charge three in sexual assault of a dog in York County (yahoo.com)Smirking mum 'had sex with own daughter, 10, and invited paedo round to join in' - Daily StarWant to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! 

You're listening to the Carl Network. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Warning, listening to the creep off might leave you triggered. This episode may contain murder, rape, laughing at murder and rape, ableism, Lenny Dykstra, serial keeters, smile talking, fat shaming, child abuse, drug abuse, drug abuse, victim blaming, and the state of Florida. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation.

Horror, shock. I'm gonna deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo. Do-do-m-do-do-do-do-do-o-o-up. Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps, by creeps, for you creeps. I'm your host, my name is Vinnie. And joining me, as always, it's hot cucka-c-c-c-carla.

What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? Carla is back and in full force right now. I'm very excited to see you because we had a great episode last. week. We sure did. We are, for those of you who are watching live, thanks for tuning in. We are streaming today at 1 p.m. Eastern time for those of you who are listening, we'll want to tune in sometime on the creep off channel and the WATP YouTube channel today. That's pretty good. It's pretty fun. Look at us. Look at us. Monday afternoon talking about creeps. Solid banter. We're really killing it out of the gate. Yes, we are. Thanks for sandbag. We planned all of this

out of time. Well, I'm excited. Video will point out the obvious and I'll say, Yes, that's correct, Vinny. Those are our notes before the show started. I'm excited to bring the review girl, our results girl on. Oh, right, results girl. To talk about last week's score. Uh-oh. I don't like when you're excited about that.

You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. Ladies and gentlemen, our results girl, it's Jess. Hey, what's happened, Jess? Not that much. Also, I thought you weren't supposed to know about the results. Well, I have a good feeling. I have a good feeling.

Wait, what do you mean you're not supposed to know about the results? If it's public information, you can go on and see. Well, we do run everything through an algorithm just to get to number one, weed out, duplicate IPs, both, and all that shit. Let's not overstate what we're doing here, but it's... No, there's a formula or some shit that somebody built. Everything's a fucking algorithm now. All right. Well, the results are 58.44.

It's very... I don't know the decibels to 41.56, if anyone. That's why I said you weren't supposed to know. I feel good about it. You can't take pictures of little boys in Walmart's bathrooms and expect not to be called a creep. All right, Vinny. You win, buddy. All right. I love Vinnie with the sore winner. It's my favorite version of Vinny.

He's just like, see? I said I was going to win, and then I won. In your face, hamburger. All right, we get it. It's pretty good. You're the big winners. You're going to change the scoreboard now. Look at you sourpants. Why are you speed such a little bitch today? Would you stop it? Can I tell you the real reason why I'm so distracted over here? Please.

Because I didn't email you that link yet. I need to email you. Yeah. And for some reason, the Wi-Fi in this building used to work and it just does not anymore. Okay. And now I can't even get my Verizon connected on my phone either. So I'm just in like a dead spot where I can't do anything on the internet right now. Okay.

It's really frustrating for me. Yeah. Awesome, Carl. Great start to a show. Good stuff. Fun stuff, Vinny. Just. This is some business you guys run over here.

There's no fucking Wi-Fi in the building. Everything's fucking hardwired. Makes sense. Except for your... That makes sense. Yeah, no, that's what all buildings do these days. It's really smart. They don't turn on the air conditioning in here on the weekends.

I come in here on a Friday or Saturday. It's fucking like a movie theater. It's freezing. It's awesome. I come in here on a Monday and the guy who runs this place... Do you have anything else you like to fucking complain about it? Yes. Jesus fucking Christ.

You're waiting. Out of control. So first off, folks, he walked in. The first thing he did was call me a fat fuck and he called my wife a bitch. That's true. And I'm supposed to sit here and fucking be nice to you. When you're sitting there and you can't get your fucking...

Supposed to be nice to me. You can't connect to your own Wi-Fi? I'd love to see your start. You little bitch can't connect to your own Wi-Fi? You got to complain about everything else in the fucking world because you're not ready. And you got to sandbag me out of the gate. Jesus Christ, I'm glad to have you here today, Carl.

I'm so excited to have a fun comedy show today with you, Carl. Let's start over again. You fucking cunt. Let's start over. You're lucky I don't come in there and slap the glasses off your face. Holy shit, you asshole. Wow. I was just joking about your wife.

She's great. You are a fat fuck, though. You suck. But your wife, I like her a lot. She's cool. The visual of me in the middle of you too. It's so funny. What else you got?

I just want to be able to use the fucking internet in a goddamn studio. Hey, it's so funny. I'm a bad fucking studio that does fucking live streaming. I'm not sweating. to the internet and I can't get on the fucking internet I'm just like to be in my basement we're in downtown Rochester we're not some like a rural area there should be a cell tower somewhere it keeps it so cool

in my basement where I like to broadcast from my basement is nice I like it there fucking shitty pool table well okay I mean it is green I'll give you that Minnie I still can't get on the fucking internet over here why couldn't you just send the goddamn email before you got here. Because I forgot.

Because I forgot. And also, the real reason, actually, Vinny, is because every time I send you something, I go, don't look at this, because I want it to be an unveil on the show and a surprise. You always fucking look at it. Oh, Carl, I had to load it in. I had to see if it was going to load in or not. So I had to look at it and know exactly what you were going to show me.

So then I tried to go, okay, I'll send it to it when I get there. Forgetting, there's no goddamn Wi-Fi in a fucking studio that streams video onto the internet. How is that possible? Because we hardwire everything. Not everything.

Not anything in front of me over here. Nothing in front of me over here is hardwired. The laptop that's in front of you is hardwired. How about this, pal? Why don't you settle down? Oh, now you're fucking the one he's being calm and reasonable. I love it.

You're like, Carl, calm down over there. What are you calm down over there? Oh, shit, he's coming over here. And if you say one more word about my wife while I'm over there. This is odd, dude. This is going to be like the Guardian's White Sox game from this past weekend.

This is fucking odd. Let's go. Let's do this. Hold on you. All right, all right. I guess we're not fighting. Oh, my God, I'm crying. It turns out we're not fighting after all.

There you go. Oh, I don't have a fucking adapter for that. He hands me a fucking... What was the last time a laptop computer had a port for a fucking Ethernet cable? When you came into WATP, like, two weeks ago. Jesus Christ. What your studio didn't work and you needed someone's studio to come help you? Yeah.

Because you didn't have Wi-Fi over there. Yeah, I know. That's fucking green lights fault. Why am I dark now? Why did you try off this light on me? How much... Let me just answer a question. We're up to a good start.

How much sand is in your vagina today? Dude, all of it! All of the fucking sand in the world is up my crotch right now. It's really annoying. It's really funny because I'm sitting here and I just checked this while you were talking. My phone's connected to the Wi-Fi, no problem. What the fuck? What in the fucking fuck?

Okay, I'm going to try that then. Let's see if I can get on the Wi-Fi in here. You miserable cunt. Way to put a good club foot forward today, Carl. Oh, God damn. It's asking me for a fucking, oh, oh, no, all right. I was sitting below the belt, literally. It's pretty far below the belt, but

God damn, it's asking for a password? I've never fucking been on the Wi-Fi in here before. What the fuck is going on? Oh, God. Vinny, what's the password for the Wi-Fi? It's Comedy 17. Okay, thanks. We'll get this figured out.

Is this our new show format? I don't know. If this is your first time watching the creep off, we usually don't start like this. It's usually a little more lighthearted. A little more. Yeah. All right.

Things are spinning. Things are happening. Things are happening. We're doing it. Where did Jess go? I actually pulled her out, I think. Oh, sorry. Put her back.

Just is still there. Jess, please save us. Save the show. I was just like, wait, am I done? Is this like... He's taking it out on you now for some reason. I didn't need to. I'm sorry, Jess.

No, I know. I was just like, all right, just moving on. Like, this is... Hey, Carl, can we get on with the show now? Wait until you click this link, though. It's going to be so worth it. I'm going to tell you something right now. If that link sucks, I'm putting you through a table before I leave you.

Oh, fuck. All right, never mind. We don't need a link. Okay. I'm just letting you know that this is the clip I'm choosing for this week. Okay. I'm clipping this whole thing. Oh, don't worry.

I'm sure this one's going around. I'm sure this one's going to. Wait, is just in charge of making clips of the show now? Yeah. Who made this decision? I wasn't consulted on this. Yes, you were. And it was me.

Oh. You were absolutely consulting. Oh, well, thank you, Jess. Thanks for helping us out. We appreciate it. Thank you, Jess. You're the best. Listen, I got to get back to beating this motherfucker in a game of the creep off.

So, Jess, thanks for coming on at Jess Daydreaming. This was a lot. I just got back for vacation and already you two are like arguing. I know. All right. Well, hey, welcome back to the reality. Here we are. Vacation's over.

Oh, boy. Bye, Jess. Sorry. You want to keep that going? Fucking punch you so hard. Okay. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. I'm hitting send. on my email. I don't care. Right now, I just sent you a link for later. All right. Let's just hit some super chat.

Daylaw, whoa, did he win the lottery? Holy shit. $10. Sorry about last week. Here's too hot and reads on me, Vinnie. Padre's hat on Still Always Vote Carl. Dumb. What did that say?

Did you understand that? Nope. Okay. Cramp Critical says, cringe of the week. Hit it. Hold on a second. Oh, wait, your computer's still not working?

Good. Gringe of the week. Grinch of the week. My computer works. It's your fucking Wi-Fi in this building. My phone was connected, fine. And that once you actually got the password, it connected. It just was sent right through.

I'm going to point that out to everybody. Carl actually got the Wi-Fi password. That it worked fine. Dude, I have the weakest. So he's sitting over there. I have the weakest connection possible in here. Oh. Well, I got the email, so I guess it must work.

Very good. Well, I mean, yeah, email does take a lot of bandwidth. So good. Okay. Trevor Zero says, get on with it. All right. You're right. Let's move on.

Come on, guys. Kiss and makeup. No way. I'm not wearing makeup. That's not what I heard. I know. So, Carl, it's a competition. For those of you don't know,

every week, Carl and I pick a category and we make our nominations through as the biggest creep. We do this for points to avoid spinning the goddamn wheel of consequences. Right. Today's category is creepiest tattoo artist. I doubt there's any creepy tattoo artist, though. I'll be surprised if we can find any. Carl, there were so many.

I know. I did so many different Google searches and found so many different examples. And I just had to pick the funniest one. It's what I ended up going with. I tried to do that too. Yeah. But then I saw the guy who was My Creep today, and there's no way. You ready to start this, buddy?

I am. Ring the bell. All right. My creep today hails from Doylestown, PA. He was initially arrested in 2011. His name is Walter Merrill. Here's where the trouble starter for Old Walt. a 14-year-old girl only identified at the court papers as KM.

Sounds hot. Yeah. Her mother noticed that her daughter had, all of a sudden, her 14-year-old had a tattoo of a star on her little pubic hip at a place where the underwear would cover. Oh, I bet she's popular. Well, at least with one guy. I bet she's popular now. Now, the mother obviously was very, very upset. Wait, why is the mom poking around this girl's pubic region?

Mom just noticed it, I guess. Were they bathing together or something? I don't turn this light on. Well, it got turned off because I had plugged the thing. Oh, okay. Now you get to look like that. Okay. Yeah.

So now you get to look like that. That's fine. No one's complaining. This is what he looks like. Stuttery John. Jesus. This is what he actually looks like everybody. We're going to morph into each other.

Your skin isn't gray enough. So, working on it. Mom is very proud, obviously. She's like, who the hell gave you a tattoo? You're 14 years old. Right. 14 is not old.

This is a child. Right. I'm following this, but despite what I'm saying. I'm following this. Okay. So it turns out, and she admits it, that she, the daughter, had made a deal with her aunt's friend Walter. Okay.

Now, here was the deal. You could blow me and fuck me and I'll give you a tattoo, 14 year old girl. Pretty good deal. For who? Well, I mean, how nice is the tattoo? What would it be worth retail? It's a little tiny star. That's like a $40 fucking Vegas strip.

That should just be a blow job then. I would have negotiated that one down to. Just a BJ. You add something on your back, something that, you know, you could actually show people. This little tiny star is nothing. You're recommending a tramp stamp, Vinny? I mean, this is... Well, this was 2011, so they was still popular at the time.

Sure. Now, what a proud mother she was. She took her down to the police station. And when she told him what happened, the damn broke. Because it turns out that not only had this guy been talking to her and made this deal with her, he had also been blackmailing K.M.'s best friend, L.H. Oh, okay. Because he tricked L.H.

into taking nude pictures of herself and that he was using them to blackmail her. He also had L.H. taking pictures of K.M. indecently and sending them to his phone. So how old was this a tattoo artist? Like 15? 34. Oh.

This is a 34-year-old man. Oh, that's a problem, then. Now, that's not good. It turns out the answer. interactions with this guy are even fucking crazier, Carl. Okay. With the police interview, the aunt, she had a sexual relationship with Walter beginning in 2001 when she was 16 years old.

Her father made her stop having contact with him because he found out that he had bought her a prepaid telephone that he would use every night to call up the aunt when she was 16 and have her masturbate while he listened. Oh, God, life before webcams. Jesus. Yeah. That's tough. He also made her perform.

oral sex on him and he took a photo of it and used it to blackmail her Made her, Vinnie, sounds like she was into it If she's fucking jerking off on the phone With him. Well, maybe. Let's talk All of this sounds like these are girls who are 14 to 16 age. Yeah.

By the way, I should point out in some countries That's illegal. In this country That's illegal. Correct. That's one of the countries. Yes. When they searched his own, they found about 50 videos including images of rapes of children, children with adults, children with children, children with animals. Some of the movies involved very young children being raped, crying, no, no during sex acts.

He met most of these 15 victims that he was eventually charged with molesting through their families and came in an extended contact by offering babysitting services to parents with drug, alcohol, homeless, or dysfunctional issues. It turns out, Carl, marginalized families, love free child care. Yeah. You get what you pay for, don't you? You get what you pay for it. be the name of this episode. Yeah, it's not good.

During the victim's testimony, many described how they would awaken in the middle of the night to find Merrill abusing them. When they resisted, he would then force himself on them. These victims were boys and girls ages as young as four. So if that doesn't sicken you, let's keep going.

Meryl intimidated his victims by threatening to hurt them and their family members. He would tell the girls that he would rape their siblings if they didn't perform sexual favors for him. On one occasion, he forced children into having sex with their siblings. Children Merrill also convinced the team

I just want to point out if you're newer to the show that was not a stuttering John song even though the guitar playing was very similar Yes, that is Nick Bates who came up with that off the cuff Correct, similar to John does.

Right off the cuff. He did this whole blackmail thing with teenage girls a lot, Carl. Okay. And it turns out that the way he would start that was he would get a picture of them wearing their bra and panties

and say, hey, I could get you modeling work. Isn't enough. you know hey there's a 12 room let's get her down to her underwear and then he'd be like yeah let me see the tits and then once he got the tits picture that it was blackmail time one victim who was a 17 year old girl carl okay he blackmailed her into going into the school locker room and taking pictures of all the girls showering oh good move this guy's a fucking creep that's a good move right now i will say this he seems like he's a good friend i will this is the only thing i can tell you

I guess he had a friend named Steve and I guess he ordered him a Pito cameo because what he did was he had one minor Get naked. That'd be a popular website right there. Yeah, he had one minor get naked and hold up a side saying hi Steve And he sent those photos to his buddy.

No shit. Yeah. Personalized. Personalized child porn. Yeah. PCP. He's, I mean, this dude's a fucking problem. In 2006.

Well, you are smirking. quite a bit for pretending that you don't think this is hilarious. In 2006 he was dating a woman who went unnamed and he tried to convince her to have sex with her five-year-old son while he watched. Now that's a tough conversation.

I don't know how you pull that one off. You're not going to get that for a cheap star tattoo. No, definitely not. That woman threw him out and after she left she found a video depicted two young girls on dressing and taking showers and she never bothered to call the police. This guy was not only just getting physical images from these kids

and raping children in the middle of the night while he was supposed to be babysitting. He was blackmailing them into sex acts on himself as well. Major crimes. Shee. 2012, the judge convicted Walter Merrill of 170 counts of molesting boys a girl ages 4 to 17. The crime spanned 13 years and he was sentenced to 490. 94 to 982 years behind bars. Seems reasonable.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is my creep. All right. Walter Merrill. Well, finally, you picked a child rapist. Good job, Vinny. Yes, I did, folks. I'm glad you were able to venture out of your comfort zone and pull that together for us. I hadn't done a child rapist in a while.

Really? Yeah. It has been a week. Good point. Well, last week the guy was just taking pictures of kids pooping. That's different. We only do the show once a week. That's different.

I got about that. Also, if you're new to this show, I should point out, this actually is a Settering John's song. This is John playing this song. I freaking hate vaginas. Viginas really suck. Weird song, John. Weird song.

Wasn't great. All right. Can I present my creep, my creepiest tattoo artist for you, Navini? You can try. All right, I will. We got to go down to Brazil. We're going to go back six years of 2017. and check out what's going on with Mekon, Wesley Carvalho Dos Reese.

From here on out, known as Mr. Reese. He was arrested for torture. Oh, God. And he tortured a 17-year-old boy. Now, what he says happened is that he caught this kid in the act of trying to steal a bicycle. And so what he decided to do was tattoo his forehead. And he tattooed onto his forehead, I am a thief and a loser.

Aren't you glad that they didn't pull that shit in Spencerport? Yes. In like 1998? Yes. Very much so, Vinny. Very much so. No fucking mercy for the bike thief from Carl. So this kid.

Hypocrat police. This. That's exactly what I'm saying. The creep is Mr. Reese, the tattoo artist here, Vinny. This kid said, he's 17 years old. He goes, I was drunk and I fell over a bike. And these guys accused me trying to steal it. I was not trying to steal it.

and then they grab me, they bring me inside, they tie me down, and they tattoo onto my forehead. Under my forehead, I am a thief and a loser. After this happened, this kid went missing for over a week. They finally found him.

He was so humiliated. Now, these guys got caught. Do you know how they got caught, Vinnie? I'm guessing this kid went to the police. Wrong. He did not. These guys decided to make a video of them tattooing this kid and put it on social media,

and I have that video for you. I sent there, I gave you that on the thumb drive there. Oh, I think I have it right here. If you want to pull this up, this is fucking nuts. Be quiet, man. Look at this kid, he's terrified. You're so terrified at all.

He's the guy, the Ted George is laughing. What do you want to do today? A tattooage? Yeah? What you want to do you? What's the kid? What? Ladron.

Huh? Ladron. No, not just a ladron. What do you want to do you want to say? Ladron? Oh, man. He's pleading with them to tattoo his arm instead. And they're saying no.

You're going to do here. You can pause it here. Hold on. Minnie. I'm sorry, pause it. You can pause it there. It just shows him getting the tattoo. It's pretty brutal.

But there you see the photo of the end result. And it is taking up his entire forehead is this tattoo, this tattoo, this. says, I am a thief and a loser. Okay, can I just point out something here? Please point out something here. I'm a little surprised with this video. And I'm not just saying this because we're in a competition. And I'm not trying to degrade what you're presenting here.

But if this is you or this is me, I am biting. I am kicking. This kid is just sitting there taking it. He's scared out of his mind. There's two guys there. He's scared out of his mind. He's actually asking them to break his arms and legs instead. He's like, can he just break my arms and legs instead?

He did not want this tattoo on his forehead. This is brutal. This is a brutal punishment for what they thought of was a kid stealing a bicycle. And the guy's laughing and saying it's going to hurt. He's laughing his ass off. He's posting this up on social media thinking that he's king shit for tattooing a 17-year-old kids. We laughed our asses off. Yes.

So that is my creepiest tattoo artist. It's a guy who tattooed the forehead of a 17-year-old boy against his will and then posted it on social media like a dumb dumb. That is a very funny story, Carl. Thank you. I told you, I told you it for the funniest story I could find. And the kid says he didn't do it, huh? The kid, so what's funny is that the family says, this is a 17-year-old, but I guess Brazil is a little bit different. The family said the boy has mental problems and has a serious drug problem.

And so that's why, like, he went missing for a week afterwards. He just, he's having a hard go at it. Nilester says that's how the island boys started. Well, that's a good point because, you know, you could try for tattoo removal or you can just get it covered up with other tattoos. That's usually the way to go. Tattoo removal, I was watching a video of it this weekend for some reason. Yeah, what the fuck? Well, I was just interested in it how it works.

Oh, I know. You want to get rid of that dolphins tattoo. You got your tramp stamp dolphins tattoo. Is that why? Says 72 or bust right on my lower back. No, that's not why, Carl. But do we want to put forehead tattoo on the wheel of consequence? is that something we want to add?

I wouldn't want you on my phone with a Sharpie. You fucking kidding me? All right. No goddamn way. So I guess, Carl, that would mean it is time for WATC. Well, let me say this first. Okay. Please go and vote for who you thought brought the creepiest tattoo artist this week on

the creepoff.com. That's how this game is played. Vinny is up one to nothing right now. Once one of us gets to five, the other has to spin the dreaded wheel of consequences. I have a consequence that I need to do. yeah let's talk about it yeah let's talk about it because i actually had a fun idea i believe you also have two consequences i do i do i had a fun idea okay so i have to listen to the bills make me want to shout for two hours straight and live stream it yeah but something else has come

up that's actually even more torturous than that vanny i don't know about that i am going to do an interview with joie c why is that more torturous than have you seen joey c do you know who joey c is not really. Okay. So here's what I was thinking. Thursday, I have to change my schedule a little bit. Blind mics going on vacation. So we're doing, who are these socials in the morning on Thursday, 10 a.m. Eastern time. And so I thought my usual 6 o'clock time slot, I could go on, talk to Joey C. And we'll listen to the Bill's song for two hours in a row in the background while I'm talking to Joey C. What do you think? What do you think about that, baby? If you creepos think that's cool, then you let me know. If you don't, then you let us know.

All right, sounds good. I'm going to leave that up to the listeners. You guys let me know what you think about that. I don't know who Joey C is and I could care less. All right. Is Joey C a funny person? Is he just annoying? Because could it be Joey C and Ray DeVito?

Oh, God. Could we throw Ray DeVito in there? That's an interesting idea. Could you imagine? Just have them. You know what? Just kill me. Just tattoo my forehead, actually.

Now that I think about it. Turbo Neil Breed says Joey Cesar. What's his deal? Tell me what his deal is. Dude, if I knew, if I knew I would tell you. All right. All right, let's do WATC then, Carl. All right, it is time for everyone's favorite part of the show.

Let's go. Creepos. Who are these creepos? This is a segment of the show that we do because we are the best true crime podcast when our Wi-Fi is working. And we want to prove that we're the best true crime podcast. The way that we do that is we are exposing all the other true crime podcasts and why they suck. And we're going through one at a time to show you why all the other true crime podcasts are not as good. as The Creep-Off, starring your friends, Carl and Vinnie Paulina.

Hey, that's us. And today, we're going to talk about seriolessly. Serial-Less Lee is... They didn't fucking force... Come on. This is the words. Serious. Serial-Lessly is hosted by true crime content creator Annie Elise.

Serial Slea discusses true crime cases, unsolved mysteries, current high-profile cases, and notorious criminals, as well as lesser-known crime stories. Do they all use the exact? exact same testes for their fucking show descriptions? It's unbelievable. I believe they do. Annie Elise gives it to you straight and dares to say what many are thinking, but few dare to

say in an engaging conversational manner. I don't even know if that's a proper sentence right there. I was going to say, does she say in that form? Jesus, that's confusing. Her original takes and down-to-earth relatability is like having a conversation with your best friend or hopefully your

new true crime bestie. And that brings us to the Introduction to this show. Hey, true crime besties. Welcome back to an all new episode of serialously. What is this thing? Listen, I know you have your true believers and I have my cousin Roo's. What's this thing where people act like, anyone who listens to their show is their bestie?

That's really sad. If they think the listeners need a friend that badly, that someone they listen to on a podcast is their bestie. You mean we're not besties with everyone who listens to the show? Well, I am with Dela, obviously, and Dylan from somewhere, and Tiberius and Rover, and Richard Lucas, of course. Oh, there's Joey C. What's up, Joey C? What's up, Joey C? Afternoon. Good to see you, buddy.

Joey C. Carl was just trying to tell us who you were, and he said you were the worst. I did not say he was the worst. I said that I will talk to him. I said, I'll talk to him on Thursday. And we're going to listen. I hope Joey C. likes the Buffalo Bills and the Bills like me want to shout. Right under the bus with you.

It's going to be fun. Looking forward to that. It should be a good time. It's my warm up for talking to Suttering John again on August 14th. But that's another story. It's not for this show at all. This is something completely different. This is we're talking about serialist Lee.

We're talking to this Annie Elise and she's talking to all of her besties. And check out the vocal fry. Listen how she ends every sentence. And let's jump right into today's case. So this story takes place in the spring of 2004. in a quiet suburban town in New Jersey. Melanie and Bill McGuire were going on about their everyday lives when the lines of normalcy were suddenly blurred.

I didn't know that that period at the end meant you had to drop your voice by three octaves. That was a weird way to. Suddenly blurred. Let's go back to 1999. It's a very high-tech fade-out transition. Well, here's another again. example. Here's a quick one. Bill and Melanie's chemistry felt natural, and they had an immediate spark with one another.

A immediate spark with one another. Natural. It's like two different people. It's like emcees from the 80s, like finishing each other's sentences. Run the MC, no? Yeah, I guess. All right. Fucking know with you. All right, let's find out more about the story that she's telling us on this true crime show. Now, at the time, the story got a lot of media.

because not only do you have the element of the attractive, well-to-do couple, but also because Bill and Melanie were from the working class part of New Jersey, which is where the hit TV show The Sopranos took place, all of these like weird elements that kind of made this even more interesting and a little bit more eerie. According to Annie, this story got a lot of immediate attention because it took place in the same area of New Jersey as the Sopranos, the working class part of New Jersey. Meaning, I don't know if you've seen the Sopranos before.

It's a pretty popular TV show. Where Tony lived was very much upper middle class. Correct. He lived in a very big house, and all of his neighbors also lived in very big houses just outside of Newark. And Newark is very close to Manhattan. And a lot of people commute into Manhattan from there and have very good jobs. So I don't know where she's talking about. I don't know you could have a working class part of New Jersey and try to tie that to Sopranos.

It doesn't make sense. It's very dead hole going over to the brink. bridge you know from jersey into new york yeah it's like going from fucking bagdad to manhattan though it's not i'm not a fan of new jersey don't get me right it's not great it's not great i'm with you on that i'm totally with you on that flying into newark is not fun but that didn't make any sense and then she says this the sopranos was at the height of its initial popularity how could he be at the height of your initial popularity it doesn't the term the height mean that it's not initial I would say that sentence is, I'm going to go ahead and label it retarded.

That is a retarded sentence. Very, very stupid. Now, what she does do, she does do some production and she does bring in clips and things like that, which I love that. Because what you're going to hear here is an actual phone conversation that's going on with one of the people accused here. And then she brings in the greatest true crime broadcaster of all time. Oh, I'm flattered. And brings that into the clip. I want you to tell me the truth.

Now, interesting, Melanie McGuire might as well have taken out a billboard on Third Avenue that said, I murdered my husband and hacked his body up. She put his body. It's very interesting the way she did this. Has the jury reached a verdict in this case? Would I have liked more Nancy Grace? Sure. But I'll take any Nancy Grace that I could get. The show got listenable for the... Or something's just like, oh, what, she might as well have gotten a billboard that said I did it and I liked it. Brilliant insight, Nancy. The weirder, she said the stupidest shit.

The weirder delivery on 6th Avenue for this lady suddenly. And then she could have taken out a bell bar. All right. This was just an interesting fact in here that she threw out. She's talking about the year 1999. And this couple had just gotten married. And she says this. The couple had their first child, a little boy, quickly after getting married.

Soon after, Bill got a job that paid $65,000 a year, which is equivalent to around $118,000 today. Thanks, Bidenomics. Are you telling me $65,000 is worth twice as much today? We've lost 50% of the value of the dollars since 1999? Jesus Christ, that's not good. So listen, I'm going to judge this sentence again here. Also retarded. Well, it's probably true.

I'm guessing she did the math on it. I don't know. Oh, you ready for a history lesson? Please. Because we're going back to... Is it about the Sopranos? Well, we're going back to the early aughts. I don't know if you remember that.

A lot of people don't. So long ago. Now, in 2004, it wasn't uncommon for there to be a shared household computer used by multiple people living in the house. I just wanted to point this out, Vinnie. And I want this on record, all right? The computer that I use at my house, my wife also uses, and she's constantly searching for crazy shit. So if anybody ever wants to go through search history or look at files or anything on my computer, it could be, could be mine, could be my wives.

We don't know. There's no way to know. Oh, no. I'm a little nervous here. I'm just saying it's a shared computer just like 2004. My house is just like 2004. It's a shared family computer. that just sits out and everyone uses

and does it does crazy shit on there. I don't, but everyone else does. My friends come over and use it. So here's another history lesson for you. So when that hard drive was forensically analyzed, police found searches such as how to purchase a gun illegally, how to commit murder,

undetectable poisons. People used to be really stupid when it came to Google back at 2004. Or how to get away with murder? How did not have my search history found out? Fuck. How to make sure the FBI does not get my next search. Oh, my God.

What? I know people are still doing this to this day that, what was that woman's name? Carly something. She just got busted pretending she got kidnapped and everything. Oh, yeah, yeah. The lady down in Alabama. Yeah, yeah. Sure her search history was the same kind of shit.

Just like, what are you fucking thinking? These people are retarded. You duck, duck, go for those types of searches. Google's a snitch. Google is not your friend. Duck, Duck, Go loves you more than a friend. Google is not your bestie, folks. No, Google is not your bestie.

Nope. All right. But because she is our bestie, she talks to us like we're friends. And this is an ad read. And I just want you to listen to the ad copy here because it really is, it draws you in and you're like, think you're having a conversation.

Melanie hired a high profile criminal defense team to help her. Specifically, Joe Tocopina, who had a roll adept. of celebrity clients. All right, besties. I feel like we're in the circle of trust, and I've talked about this before, but I feel like I can trust you guys and just be candid and transparent.

Debt sucks. It really, really sucks. Wow, she must really trust us to give us that type of information, Benny. Wow. I've never heard such frank candor. We are in the circle of trust with this woman, obviously,

because she just told us that she doesn't like debt very much. She doesn't like, oh, money and paying interest on it. Can you imagine? Well, I have a book she could read about that if she's interested. What the fuck kind of ad read is that? I don't know if you guys know, but shh, pst, come here.

This one is even stupider. I need you to explain this one to me. I don't know if you guys can tell, but I'm feeling a little extra hoarse today in my throat. It's like not my normal, annoying vocal fry that I know I have, but it's like a little bit extra scratchy and it's making me wonder have you guys ever felt like me a scratchy throat then maybe a headache comes on so you go to social media you start googling the symptoms and before you know it you're thinking that your minor head cold is really like a terminal disease at this point you go to social media and start googling the symptoms so here's what we just found out

this woman doesn't understand how the internet works no or the ad copy doesn't understand how works you know how you like go to tic-tok and start googling things what wow It's fucking retarded. You mean the internet? Is that what you're talking about? Do you think social media is? When I went to Google, to Google something? By the way, drunk engineer says, what was Jen doing searching for how to kill my wife and get away with that?

I don't know. I don't know why she's searching that. It's weird. The weirdest thing, officer. No more, no further questions. Talk to my attorney. She's an interesting lady, my poor deceased wife. I'm not the one on trial here.

All right. You ready to hear some bad. editing. Light on me. Because, listen, like I said, there's production going on here. It sounds like this woman knows what she's doing when it comes to podcasting, but there's just no reason for this. Now, I'm going to leave a little bit of a longer clip.

You see if you can find the edit. Okay. Okay. All right. She'll put my hand up when I hear it. You can play along at home, everybody. In the prosecution's closing, they say that they believe she had someone help her, but they don't identify who it was.

In the background, police had been looking into her stepdad. Michael, but they could never find any evidence that he was involved in any way. Did you find it there? Oh, yeah, it was bad. Vinny, I think it or stepdad Michael. I think I zoomed in on it. Because what I want you to pick up on here is that the edit is actually on a word itself. In the middle of the word is where it's edited.

This is a weird edit. I wouldn't have gone for this one. Police had been looking into her stepdad Michael. Looking, like the ing. Police had been looking into her stepdad Michael. It's bad. That's not great. It's not great, Vinny.

And this is the big reveal This is the link That I wanted to send over to you She's also on YouTube She's the creator Kind of creator for 10 to Life And I just want to show you a video She put up seven days ago

If you want to pull that up on our screen here The video from The YouTube link that I sent you That I wasn't allowed to look at The one you weren't allowed to look at it The one that I didn't queue up Because you told me not to look at it You're not showing it

Well I'm trying to get through the ad first pal You don't have to It doesn't matter Okay here it is Vinny how many views does this video have

from seven days ago great question Carl it has 20,000 likes at 429,000 views Vinny this is the crazy part

because I'm listening to the show that was suggested by Alex gangrenously I'm listening to the show and so I decide this chick sounds like she thinks she's hot let me go look

this chick up so I go on and go ahead yeah we can watch the beginning beginning of this. Okay. She's like a Rochester 7. You can put the volume up.

It would be important to do a full video explaining everything and including the conclusion of the case. It is truly one of the worst cases I have ever covered. So apparently, Vinnie, she is a true crime 10. She has almost one million subscribers on YouTube. She's a Rochester six and a half seven. She's a true crime 10 because you know what types of chicks like true crime.

They're not this type. Yeah, the ones that look like me. The ones that look like you, precisely. So that is our, who are these creepos? Serial-Lessly coming in from Annie Elise. And as much as I'm making fun of her, I guarantee a third of our audience will be going and checking out her channel after this. Or are right now.

Very possible. All right. Well, Carl, I guess that means it's time to do some voicemails. We got a couple of, um, super. chats that came in since we last read them. All right. Vinnie's head should have a tattoo. Yes.

Vinnie's head. I could sell that amount of advertising right there. Let's do it. Thanks for the Canadian $2. Yankees suck. Gang gang gang. Gang, gang. Smell the roses.

Gang, gang, gang, gang, gang. FKB. FKB. Gang gang. I love it. I'm going to give you that $1.65. Thank you. I earned it.

You sure did. All right. Voice mails. The Creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Syracuse, home of the second biggest dumpster fire in the country. We'll get you next time, women's soccer team. See you in Syracuse. Oh, my gosh.

Did you happen to see, I went back and I watched the penalty kicks that the women's soccer team went into? You watched women's soccer? No, I didn't. I watched it because I saw they lost and I wanted to point. laugh. And the best part is Megan Rapino, who's like, we've got to get paid more money. We're not making enough money. Missed the fucking goal from 12

yards away from it, Vinnie. Missed the goddamn goal of the women lost that are out of the World Cup. Good job, Megan Rapino. You're really earning your paycheck and proving that women are good at sports. Well done, Dobby. Wow, are you happy to be able to rub that in her face, aren't you? Yeah, it's funny. I left.

I'm with you. All right. First comment we got is a first voice to bail is some thoughts on your presentation last week carl all right hey carl uh your priest is shitty and you're stupid as always because if you have ever worked an overnight or had to work at walmart period someone coming in and shooting you in the faith before your shift is probably the best feeling probably ever i would much rather be dead that ever work at walmart again if any winning people's champ thank you lucky bye That's true.

The real victim there was the one that he let go home. She was just like, oh, God, you're putting everyone out of their misery and not me? Holy shit. They're going to make her come back to work the next day. David Chandler. Yay, Super Chats. Thank you very much for the $50 super sticker.

We appreciate it, Chandler. We might have to get a Twitch channel for this show just to let David Chandler go out and get subs. He's been a machine over there for the Shulie Network. Yeah. Well, there's subs on the W. WATP page. We don't do subs on the creep off page. I don't know if we should or not. I haven't decided. All right.

What are your thoughts? Should we do subs on the Yeah, you might as well, because we already do bonus content. In fact, it would make a lot of sense because we do a bonus show every week. That's right. So we should do a we should let people join the YouTube channel. We can talk about it afterwards, though. Yeah, sounds good. Let's fight about it after the show, Vitti. We'll book on our day today with a couple of shouting matches.

Oh, it's coming. Okay. This is off the cup. Carl. Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. John Carl Carl Carl Why are you

So effeminate That's right That's right I'm the master Song parody man I came up with that Right there That was all me

Good stuff Might be the best Song parody Ever submitted to the Creepoff Well I don't know Because that actually leads Right into my voice About here

Please That is also fan fuckatastic Oh for the Creepoff I got a I got a really good parody. All right. Here it goes. Let's hear it.

Vinny. Vinny. Vinny. Vinny. Vinny. Vinny. Why are you so fat? Another one.

Good. Good joke. Pretty good, huh? Pretty good. Did you happen to see my buddy, Vinny? I'm sure Carniv's already told you about this, that John was watching a clip. of subreddit surfing and thought you were Patrick Melton?

Yeah, I heard. He was ripping on you so hard, and he was calling you Patty. And Cardiff didn't correct him. The other guy on the show, Dave was just like, that's not Patrick Melton. That's a different guy. I love your response to that. She's so retarded. He's such a dumb boob.

What am I supposed to say? I know. He's such a boob, that guy. I can't tell the difference between all these fat fucks. And then in the next bra, Carl's making fun of Mike Bushetti for being fat. You can't make fun of someone for being fat. TV's, Mr. Neal's, thanks for the two bucks, says head tattoo consequence.

I'm not in on that. By the way, I know I jokingly said it, not doing it. What if we got the tattoos on the side and you can just grow your hair out if you didn't want people to see it? I think what would be funny is you have to get like a road warrior haircut. Ooh. They had like retarded Mohawks where it's just like shaved down the middle. I love it.

Yeah, we should do that. Yeah, because I'm looking too. cool these days I'm sitting here Carl I mean you look like a fucking goblin I like to think

that I generally try to keep it together I know I'm a fucking fat guy I get it you guys tell me every fucking five seconds Can I tell you a fun story I'm already regretting

telling you this Yeah go ahead My sister-in-law was in from out of town last week and you probably saw her at the tope show And you know what she said to me

Nope She goes I don't know why everyone says Vinny's so fat He's not that fat what do you think about that vettie i think that that's the fucking truth i know again he's such a good winner this guy like he's so good at carl i play into it i don't fucking care that much uh but what drives me crazy what's starting to make me crazy wait can i get you no context on any of it can i

get you just like oh viti that fat fuck can i get you to say you're not fat right now no i am fat i definitely fat put me next to vito i've got to Damn Brad Pitt. Yeah, or Patrick Milton for that. Put me next to Patrick Melton. I know. I'm a fucking movie star. God, thanks for the $1.99.

I am late, but I love Reddy. I love you too, buddy. Thanks, Scott. Even though I don't love the message, but I won't shoot the messenger on that one. Captain Ocean Wolf of the Tuki Taliban. Oh, I would like to join. Thank you, Mr. Hamburger Man, Tuky Forever. Whoa!

All right. I love you more than a friend. Captain Ocean Wolf of the Tuky Taliban. And there it is, the truth right here. Compared to most of the Fat Fuxu podcast, you are an Adonis. Thank you. All right, I got one more voice. I have a new nickname, by the way.

But go ahead, play yours. Is it Adonis? No. Carl, they're called punishments. Conishments. They're not supposed to be fun or convenient. You fucking crooked-mouth asshole. Holy shit.

You just lost a fucking consistent Carlos Caseroom. What? Vinny, the people's champ. I'm sorry. Vinny's still fat, bot. They're going to punishment, you fucking idiot! Well, the voicemellers are really

understanding the messaging today. I got one that'll cheer you up. Here's my fun new nickname. Oh, look. Games tied up, 0-0. and fucking Vinny triple bypass Polino

fix another kid victimizer Yeah, pretty fucking predictable Yep Triple Cheeseburger Paulino I was tossing up between triple bypass And triple cheeseburger Paulino But I went with a triple bypass I think it's a better dig

And a bit more mean And I'm an asshole So fuck you I don't think you heard what he just said. So wait, this show could be the hamburger and the triple cheeseburger? That's a good idea. I like that.

I like Triple B. Triple bypass Polito's not bad. That's not bad. TB, they call me. Yeah. Right. Here is a suggestion for a guest for the show. And I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Hey, in regards to who are these creepos? What are the odds we're going to find a true crime show that also does the Dungeons and Dragons World Play Tabletop. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God. I'll be back. that has to exist. I can't believe how many D&D shows there are.

I get suggestions all the time from people. I didn't realize it was such a popular genre. Brian Johnson plays it. He's doing it. So I guess that's a thing. People are into it for some reason. Dave Chaylor, I got an extra 4XLDC shirt if you want for any. Just let me know.

I'm good. Yeah, you're a super chats. Thank you, David Chandler. All right. Last voice mail. Oh, can I tell you a quick? I'm sorry. Real quick. I got a package in the mail. You know, our PO boxes up on Who Are These.com, if you want to send us hot sauce or drugs or whatever. And I got this package in the mail from Skinny Chad Zuma. You remember Skinny Chad Zuma.

Oh, I love him. Yeah. He's a great artist, and he won the Dabble Battle at DabbleCon back in February. And so he sent me, he made this little comic thing for me. little cartoon things and in the comic I lose my hamburger pants so he sent me pajama pants with cheeseburgers on him they're double XLs I put them on last night

they're like footsy pajamas they're so fucking big on me I guess he I guess he thinks that most things most people fit in a double XL I do not most people in this town do right I'll give them to you Vinnie I'm like a two XL they're probably fit me yeah thank God I'm not triple

XL all right Carl yes Let's move on past the voicemails. That was wrong. I didn't have another one. Okay. So I guess that would mean it's time for a scum parade. Let's do it.

Scum parade. Take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made. Scum parade. Vinny and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade. Like stories of a kid. Fuck by his mama. dad. Soaking up a blood of a cat's got parade.

A 78-year-old great-grandmother, Carl, is dead. Oh, no. You think you think that happens every day? Yeah, I would imagine. There's great-grandmother's dropping all the time. What's so different about this? Yes. Well, it's the way she went out. Okay. Homicide charges against her 49-year-old daughter, Nicole Wobking, followed. what did Nicole do well it turns out that Sheila Wabaking was the owner of a home and Nicole Wabaking was renting the house from the mother okay and here's the thing you don't want to mix these transactions and family it doesn't work out it really is not a good move because you know once money gets in the middle of stuff relationships can be destroyed very easily correct and

apparently soaked in your life because Sheila came over to talk to to her daughter about why she wasn't getting any rent. Okay. And that's when Nicole decided to open hand slap her mother and that push her down the stairs. It's always stairs involved. Why are there always stairs involved? They're the natural enemy of the old person. They really are.

It's always a bad move. It's the first thing they do. Once you get a little old, they're like, okay, keep them the fuck away from stairs. Right. Yeah. But she went right down the stairs. And you know what? Her daughter did.

What's that? Her finishing move was to grab a can of spaghetti sauce. and start beating her mother with the can of spaghetti sauce. You're telling me she died from pasta sauce because I have a feeling you might go that way too, my friend. It's the cheese on top of the pasta sauce. It's going to get me. That's true.

Now, Nicole says that the mother broke her ankle during the fall. Okay. Lied about it. There was an investigation going on, but the woman died about a week later as a result of her injuries from this. Oh, she did die from the broken ankle then. Yeah, well, the broken ankle.

I didn't realize a broken ankle could kill you. I guess at that then. age. Dude. Hips and shit when old people break bones. Yeah. It fucks them. Oh.

No, it is a little bit weird how she like died a week later or something and then Nicole's being charged with murder. But it did seem like from that article that she broke an ankle and that died a week later. It was odd. Well, I would look into the hospital maybe. If you go and you look at it. That's a good point.

Mail nurse. Was there a male nurse? Was there a male nurse involved, by any chance? If you go and you look at like the stats of old people who fall and break their hips. Oh, I do, I do every day. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I just look at this morning. Yeah, I love it. Great. What were we going to say about the stats of old people? Sainly high how quickly they die after. Interesting. Interesting. Hey, I want to thank Captain Ocean Wolf of the Tuky Tail Band for becoming a member on the Who Are These Podcasts, YouTube

channel and unlocking lots of fun bonus videos. I'm doing another, uh, another, uh, easy for you to say. God damn it. That was not easy for me to say. We're doing another easy for you to say with producer chris wednesday evening that's really cool you know we're doing at 1130 a m on wednesday we are probably going to do a watch along to thunder in paradise i'm hoping because i really want to watch that show again it's so fun me too i think so okay good i think so i will take a second just to say this i'm going to be putting up this afternoon when we're done with this episode on our patreon page there's going to be a poll that is open to anyone not a poll but like a post yes where you'll be able to make your nominations for the next

Hall of Famer. Yeah, we need to induct more Hall of Famers to creep off Hall of Fame. So I'm going to put that up there today. It is going to be open for anybody to participate. But when we actually put up the poll, that's going to be only for the bonus content subscriber. So you're welcome to be part of that and help us pick people.

Do we have a list of current Hall of Famers somewhere? Well, there's Lenny Dykeshire. Yeah, I was going to say Lenny Dykeshire. Yep. There's Chris Chan. Yep. Christine Chandler. Nick Bate, I believe. I believe. I believe. Is in the Hall of Fame?

Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan, Vince McMahon. All right. That's pretty good. Pretty good list. It's a pretty good list. You know who I like to see in there? The last time we had a couple of names that I thought were interesting.

We had Shoka Asahara, who is terrifying. Uday Hussein, also terrified. Not a good guy I've heard, yeah. Not a good guy. But I'm game for whatever. Whoever you want to see in there, please drop a line, let us know. And let's keep going with the scum parade. Let's go down to Florida, Carl.

Okay. If only I had music for a scum parade in Florida. If only I had music. If you just keep looking. Florida, Florida, you got to get your shit to tell her. Why so many creepy bugs? Yeah. What's the hell going on there?

Maybe it's a swamp gas. Yeah, that's a really good idea, uh-huh, ha, ha, come on for a row. Yeah, that's a really good idea to Lizzo for the Hall of Fame. We should just do a bonus episode. I've been listening to Tim Dillon. He's done two episodes in a row on Lizzo. Oh, no. He can't get enough of this story.

I don't want to do it if Tim Dillon's doing it. We'll never be able to do it as good as it. Well, probably not. But Croix actually wrote a joke for the isotope show yesterday where, you know, the allegation is that Lizzo was making her dancers eat a banana out of a sex worker's vagina and he said that's literally fucking bananas. That's some story. Maybe we can do it better.

Who knows? We give it a shot if that's who you vote for. It's an insane story. You know what we can do is just actually read the allegations just word for word because it's fucking nuts. Yeah. I think we'll have to look into that. We might even have to peek in.

to that on Wednesday's bonus. Lizzo seems like a problem. Okay. She might be a bit of a problem. Well, Carl, you know what else is a problem? What's that? Crocs. Dude, crocs are awesome.

Crocs are awesome, and that is the problem. They're too comfortable. I see. You people just, you get a pair of crocs, and even though you know, there's a stigma, you're fucking comfortable. They're so amazing. It's all I wear on the treadmill is crocs. People wear them to work.

Yeah? People also wear them to rob their work. People wear him to place that used to work. Yes. A pair of distinctive red crocs landed a Florida man behind bars after he allegedly robbed the bakery where he was employed, recently employed, after, and spent the money on food and alcohol. A suspect wearing a black mask, a black sweatshirt, black pants, a brown and black backpack. Could be anyone. And a bright red pair of crocs stuck in the trouble cooking.

For the first time ever someone regrets wearing crocs, first time. The store's manager looked at the video and went. I think that's 18-year-old Jacob Ortega. He used to work here. He always carried that backpack, and he wore red crocs like that every day. The cops very quickly tracked him down around 2 a.m. on July 20th. And he was asking for a ride to a drug deal. So this is where it gets a little bit nuts.

Yeah. Because this guy calls up his friend and says, hey, man, can you give me a ride? This is 2 a.m. calls up his friend. Hey, man, can you give me a ride? I need to go buy some drugs. And his friend's like, yeah, yeah, I'll give you a ride. So his friend picks him up, drops him off somewhere where he goes and buys alcohol or something. And then he picks him back up again.

And then he fucking tells the cops everything. What kind of friend is this? The front fucking ran into the eyes. It's like, oh, yeah, call me. Want to go get drugs. So I drew him over here. I did this like, dude, lie. Why aren't you lying?

It's your friend. It's pretty wild that this guy, like, robs the place. He's like, time to buy drugs and booze. Well, and he even said he bought. bought booze and food for friends. This fucking asshole is a loser who was trying to buy friends. He robbed his old place of employment in order to win favor with guys he wants to be buddies with. It's pathetic.

It really is pathetic. He was charged with burglary, grant after an unlawful use of a two-way communications device. Which, I mean, because why? He texted his friend to come get him after he robbed a place. That's stupid.

Can I point something out real quick? Yeah, go ahead. Because someone is saying that they've lost all respect for. for me, angry developer. The reason why I own crox is because it was a consequence that I had to wear crocs around it. I did, and Vinny got me the gayest crocs

imaginable. They're the pink leopard strike. Yes, the pink leopard. Maybe I should bring those back out again. Tell the truth, you wear them around the house, yeah? I do, yeah, I like him a lot. They're very comfortable. I literally, it's, those are my running shoes. It's literally when I run it. Crocs endorsed by the club footed. That's right.

So either way, he is in custody. Doesn't look like he's going to be able to get out on bond because he is a piss poor 18 year old who's trying to buy friends what a fucking dummy everyone has a black shirt black mask black pants i'll never be identified me in this clothing you used to work there dude bright red bright red cracks they know it's you stupid state police have charged three people in a sexual assault case the victim carl yeah a dog oh boy wait a second this is where i I'm confused again because it said a 16-year-old.

The headline was it a 16-year-old dog? Because that's like over 100 in dog years. Well, we're getting there. It's a very mature dog. There's a 16-year-old girl involved as well. Oh, there is. Okay. That's where I got confused.

You see, earlier this month, New York State Police charged 38-year-old Ryan Peters and 25-year-old Jadzia Martin of Cordoris Township and the alleged sexual assault of a 16-year-old girl in York County. Okay. Authorities alleged the assault happened on June 29th. to cook out at their home. Okay, so that seems like the main crime here, right? Sure.

But the problem is just like my creep today, cops tend to investigate, and they, you know, they don't just always find exactly what they're looking for and stop looking. Right. Like, you know, what's their end? They're going to snoop around a little bit. Well, it's kind of like when, and I'm sure you were like this too, when I was a teenager and I lived with my parents still, I would have one box that had all my cool shit in it, My drug paraphernalia, my porn videos.

Like, if they find this one thing, they know everything I'm up to in just one fall swoop, it's a very dumb way to go through life. And that's why you kept it all in Grant's room, right? Correct. Perfect. Now, here's the problem. And I made a mistake. This was in Pennsylvania, not in New York.

It's Pennsylvania State Police. And I didn't correct you because I wanted the things to move smoothly. Thanks. You're welcome. Well, investigated the alleged assault troopers executed a search warrant at a home and seized a micro-SD digital storage device from a Samsung Pro 256 cell phone. Okay. State Police reviewed the video and found the Peters and 36-year-old Brittany Martin

engaged in sexual intercourse with the dog. Okay. Here's my question, Betty. Who the fuck is filming themselves fucking a dog? That should be embarrassing. You should be embarrassed about that. You should be closing the, pulling the blinds down. You should not be filming that.

When I show a Barbie doll up my ass and twist my balls, I don't put a tripod up first and make sure. the lighting's correct yeah jenny's that's her job no i do admit privacy vitty that's the point it's embarrassing i know what the point was i was trying to yes and you i was trying to fuck i was trying to be a good co-host yeah i got yelled at again fuck you vittie fuck you watch tell me a fat again you are pretty big boned over there fuck you know what's so funny is Our relationship's very weird. There's every now and again

we really, I think, do want to murder each other for maybe a minute or two. Yeah, you do deserve it from time to time. Yeah, I think, oh, motherfucker. Okay. Hey, I just want to say, though, about your lovely wife. Believe me, she would not be my first choice that I could have.

Oh, fuck. You want to come in here and plug in my lights? Uh. Moving on. Once you have sex with a dog and people find out, it's not good for you. No, it's definitely not. State police alleged that Z.M.R. 25 conspired into sexual assaults. Times stamps indicate the assault happened on July 9th.

Peters have been charged with producing, presenting directed at obscene performance, sexual intercourse on the animal, and cruelty to animals. So we don't know the age of the dog. We don't know if the dog was underage or not. Cruelty to animals, man. I guess the dog didn't come. Good point. again move to Spain

that's what they say yeah brittany martin is charged with sexual intercourse of an animal and cruelty to animals jadzia martin is charged with conspiracy to commit sexual intercourse of an animal and cruelty to animals gross

yeah it's very gross stop it dogs are gross yeah don't fuck your dog they're gross it's not good okay now vini what interspecies sucks would you approve of if you had to approve

interspecies sex what would be what would be a fun combination i have never thought of it in my i never have either i'm just i'm just thinking right now i'm trying to improv with you and i'm going wow i literally have well there's nothing first off a sloth fucking is just going to be hilarious no matter what sloths trying to get away sloths fucking right so i'm thinking like a a chimpanzee or something or a gorilla or something i don't want to fuck with a chimpanzee dude that'd be fun you don't want to fuck with a chimpanzee. I don't want to. I'm talking about watching.

The time it won't be the most fun to watch. Chimpanzees are fucking vicious. Yeah, I know. And sloths can't move very fast. So that'd get real rapy real quick, I think. You want to watch a chimpanzee fuck a sloth? I don't know if I want to or not, but I'm just throwing it out there. Please send it your suggestions for favorite interspecies intercourse.

That's my new show, Carl's Interspecies Intercourse. All right, moving on. Moving on, Vinny. Who are the? interspecies? I've dug this whole deep enough. A woman sexually abused her 10 year old daughter, Carl. Ah, there we go. And made arrangements for the child to have sex with a registered sex offender. Okay. Well, one of the things that we learn on this show, whether they're registered or not, we already know this guy is a child molester. Well, we talk about petos all the time on the show.

Yes. Very rarely do we get to point out that women do it too. It does happen and it's always shocking to me every time. This one is not great. Elizabeth Spath, she's 37 years old. she is was booked on charges of continuous sexual assault of a child okay a first-degree felony that's the problem with multiple orgasms that's the problem with uh when women are child molesters they just don't stop police were called to an apartment complex at the small Texas city just about two days before according to the arrest affidavit spath told police she had only just learned her children were at home alone with a registered sex offender okay oh no my kids ran home with her. Oh my goodness. The sex offender has been named as Jared Kirkus. He's 40

of Mary in Texas. She's like, good thing my 10-year-old daughter likes sex or else this would be really bad news. The responding officers learned of an active arrest warrant for Kirkus. And he was taken immediately into custody during that visit on Tuesday as yet unconfirmed charges. Now, between 2003 and 2004, Kirkus was convicted of criminal solicitation of a minor aggravated sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault and possession of child sex abuse material. Detectives told police that they later allegedly found Snapchat messages between Kirkus and this woman named Speeth. So, they're in your Snapchat two kids. I thought Snapchat went away after a day. God damn it. The two were facilitating arrangements

for Kirkus and Space daughter to have sex. And it is in the content of these communications that really concerned the investigators, Carl. They were a little upset. The The responding officers learned to have an active arrest warrant for Kirkus and he was taken immediately into custody. The police claiming the messages Kirkus asked Spath if he could have sex with her daughter and Spath replied, sure. Sure. Spath was arrested and her children were taken into police custody. In an interview with the police, Spath admitted to having sex with her daughter, which at times included Kirkus and other times her fiance. Jesus.

His daughter really got around. She told police she began including her daughter in sexual intercourse when she was just eight years old and had accounted for having sexual. intercourse with her daughter on four separate occasions. All right. Here's my question, because I do not have children. I'm not a parent. When do you decide your daughter's old enough to fuck? How do you make that determination?

Like, when do you get your daughter? You don't. Your daughter does. When do you get your daughter a reverse cell phone? When do you decide to start having sex with their? Like, these are the questions I would need to be in a group setting to figure out, I think. She's got a 350,000 hour bail set. You know what, though? I have to give the child molester some credit

here. He didn't get the mother's permission. a lot of these guys are real sneaky behind the parents' backs. This guy's just like, hey, I want to kind of rape your 10-year-old daughter. She's like, all right. When Kirkus went to court, and it is kind of romantic that he got the parents' permission. It is, I know. And also,

I do have to say, I know is there's too much Tuky talk lately. This guy looks like the human version of Tuky. Like, one eyes going this way, one eyes going the other way. He's not an attractive man. Well, kids love Muppets. That's true. It's good point. Kids love Muppets. Kids love Tuky. So, ladies and gentlemen, that is this week's

scum parade. Carl and I have some murder to get to. Yes, we do. You are all the greatest audience of podcasts. Oh, you know what? I think there's a super chatter too that we didn't get to yet. Let's hit those before we get out of here. Yes, let's definitely do that. We appreciate your support on this super chat Monday. It's always appreciated.

Dirty death with two bucks. I have an old tarp outside. 30 feet by 40 feet may fit you then. Yeah. Please send it in them. Thanks. Send it to the comedy at the Carlson. Captain Ocean Wolf of the Tuki Tailman with another $2. I hear the greasy Italians where cracks.

Whoa, no, you can't, you can't talk about Italians on here. You're going to get our channel shut down. No Italian talk. I don't know what that means. How dare you? Tuki got kicked off of John's show and John blocked Tuckie on his stream yard account because Tuki was talking about, I forget the term he used, but it was negative against Italians.

And because of that, the stuttering dipshit, things. he's going to get his channel taken down for racism. So then the best was Cardiff was fucking with them. And he's going, okay, now, John, I just need to know which words we can't say. Can we say Wop? Can we say grease ball? Just go, stop it, Cardiff. No, stop it.

So embarrassing. He's so easy that fucking idiot. Yankees suck thanks for the two bucks interspecies intercourse pilot, a whale and a potato. There you go. See, this is already working. I've seen that show, but they don't fuck. It's strictly platonic. uh thanks for tuning in everybody will they won't day is what i say

oh would that even work i think i saw you guys meet cute oh boy yeah just the way he showed up dressed like michael meyer's real dream boat that cardiff electric sure is uh that's it i'm done see you next week make sure you vote at the creepoff dot com we'll see wed what what they don't want us to leave yet viny drag ober dago five bucks i like to watch a fat thunder pump a hamburger That's creepier that Rocco spill Oh, things are getting real inside These are getting real inside lately

Yeah, well Thanks for the support everybody We appreciate it It's nice to be important It's more important to be nice Gia They thought that it was like a serious Disgusting

Vomitin-ducing thing Shit Yes. In his back and round, he has to wear the insects on your ground. In his back and round, kick it barely means a beautiful ground. In his flat and round, heartless he's going to take it down. Now that's a good song.