The Creep Off - Episode 179: Uncle Paulino

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Today Karl & Vinnie make their nominations for the creepiest cruise line worker: in this edition of WATC we discover the bizzarro Karl and Vinnie…the Florida Girlies: This week's Scum Parade features a couple of passionate Stevie Nicks fans, a horny Doctor, and a woman who found a quick way to get a head! The score is currently Vinnie 2- Karl 1, visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerCheck out the Scum Parade stories: Ala. man accused of trying to run over elderly woman with lawn mower | Truecrimedaily.comDr. Sudipta Mohanty masturbated in front of girl: Feds (lawandcrime.com)Duck decapitated during deranged domestic dispute (nydailynews.com)Las Vegas woman Devyn Michaels, 45, is accused of chopping her boyfriend Jonathan Willette's head off 'after he tried to force her to perform sex act on him' | Daily Mail OnlineWant to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! 

Warning, listening to the creep off might leave you Trigger. This episode may contain murder, rape, laughing of murder and rape, abelism, Lenny Dykstra, serial keaters, smile talking, fat shaming, child abuse, drug abuse, drug abuse, victim blaming, and the state of Florida. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down.

Welcome to the Creepo. another edition of The Creepoff. I'm your host. My name is Vinnie and joining me as always, not from the studio, but apparently from his basement. It's hot. Carla. That is correct. I am in the

WATP studio south right now and it happens to look exactly the same as the one north. Uh-huh, uh-huh. It's impossible to tell the difference. How's the weather down there, Lady Kay? It's a bit warm. It's in the 90s.

Yeah. I wanted I was asked by someone on Twitter today to give you a message and I want to pull it up properly because I don't want to botch it because it was a very good point here we go please let Carl know that him talking about his new house is giving me the same feeling as a stripper talking about her kids thanks you asked you I wasn't going to bring it up I'm trying to make it look like I'm up in Rochester right now you're the problem on this one I know, I know, but I think people figure it out pretty quick because one of your arms keeps disappearing as you're talking. Well, that's true. I know. It's not the best. We got some work to do still. But come on. I've pulled a lot of shit together. And by the way, I want to point this out. I am, as you know, very close to where centering John broadcast his show from. And yet somehow there's color in my face. It's amazing. You can actually pull it off so the light source is enough that there's color in your face. Yeah, I mean, it's possible. He does realize it's called the sunshine state, right? Like there's not a light to be had anywhere near. Literally, the sun is out right now.

I don't have a light on in this room. I just have a window in front of me and it's fine. I don't know why he has such a problem with it. Okay. Well, Carl, commissi, commasah, who gives a shit? I'm glad to be doing another episode of the creep off with you. Today, we are going to be talking about cruises and cruise ship workers. but before we do

we have some unsettled business from last week. Last week, we put out the poll who brought the creepiest zookeeper and here to give us the answers. It's our results girl, Jessica. Hello. Hey, Jess.

How are you guys doing? Great. How are you today? Good. I'm distracted by the green outline around Carl. Yeah. Let's be done that's out there, all right? That's what green outline? I'm just insane. I'm just in my base in Rochester using a new microphone.

No big deal. Are you sure it's coming through your mic and not your camera? Your audio's coming through your mic and not your camera. Me? Oh, does it sound like shit? It doesn't sound great.

It sounds very echoey. I will check that for you, sir. Can you check your levels? Now, did you and I talk for 10 minutes before the show? You couldn't have brought that up then? No, I was trying to check things like this. I just realized how echoy it was

and I would have assumed you would have looked. Well, no, of course. course I looked. I have this set up correctly. I always have a set up correctly. Is it correct? Yes, it is. Are you sure? Okay. Yes, I'm sure. All right. Jessica, who brought the creepiest zookeeper last week, and why was it me? Well, it wasn't because it wasn't. That other vote, it was Carl. I had a feeling I was going to win on, with my creep last time. Oh, you know what I just realized?

My volume is way down. How does this sound? Does this sound better? Yeah, a lot. Okay. Now I see what the problem was. Yes, creepia zookeeper turned out to be that asshole from Tiger King. who's the other asshole from Tiger Keg

It wasn't creepiest douchebag It was creepiest zookeeper That guy has a zoo My guy shot himself in the head Because he just couldn't handle a zoo This is the thing with you Vinny is you argue your point While you're arguing your point

You argue your point while I'm arguing my point And then you argue your point After you've lost the point I don't understand that mentality Move on, you lost All right, fine you're a loser move on

I'm still winning two to one Carl two to one is true the score is currently two to one maybe shut up shut up

just a little bit Jess did anyone give us any comments or have anything to say about this episode

yes on Reddit let's see tsunami I think I'm saying it wrong I said Carl can actually do a good can actually do a good

job bringing in a creep when he tries every once in a while that is correct Correct. Every once in a while, I try. I'll do it. Political Animal 87 said, of course Carl just brings in another jackass from TV.

Has Netflix do all his research? Screw you, you lazy club footage, troll. Vinnie, Winnie just drive to Gary, you ass. Excelsior, true believers. I think Vinny wrote that. I would have responded to that one with, Hi, Vinny. I think then you would have been very wrong, stupid.

so and then the last one we have is jojo jones 10 said just certainly has the brains and sharp weight of a jeff dunham fan you know what i'll take it jess you should never have admitted that publicly that's the kind of stuff that's stopped last week we asked jess what her favorite stand-up was and the first thing i became to her head was jeff dunham and then we asked the listeners to make a photoshop and uh we got a fantastic one that's up on our Instagram page. We go to the creepop Instagram page. Yeah, at Creepoff pod or at the creepoff, actually, I think it is on Instagram. But all the links are on the creepoff.com. So just follow

it there and you can see Jess Dunham. It was worth saying it just for that Photoshop. I agree. It was so worth it. Yeah, I enjoyed some of the tweets were pretty good. A lot of people wanted to find out how much you enjoyed Brendan Schwab special. Brendan Schwab,

yeah, Schaub. Who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? who gives a fuck he sucks so i guess what you're saying is that they're uh be no fat chicken got it yes that is what i'm saying those are the rules on the creep off everybody so jess where can everybody follow you as always uh just daydreaming anywhere uh right we will see you next week and we find out who is the winner of this week's round carl before we start we do need to make one little announcement and uh it's for all of our bonus content subscribers Carl, what day of the week are our bonus episodes going to be coming out now?

Fridays. From here on out, Wednesdays were a pain in the ass for me, and it turned out, Vinny agreed with that. A hundred percent. Wednesday was very difficult to turn a full episode around, especially when we're trying to get ready for Monday's show and also get ready for, you know, like we're doing a bonus episode very soon. And I have to say the last bonus episode that we just did is one of my favorites that we've done. I thought it was hilarious. We had some great videos, some great stories in the scum parade. A lot of interesting banter in that one. Yeah, we learned a lot about each other, didn't we? We did, yeah.

I introduced it. It was revealed that I was in a band with a pedophile. And I've never told that story before. And it's, uh, even as I was saying, I'm like, oh, yeah, this is actually kind of interesting, isn't it? Yeah, man. I can't believe you waited so long to tell everybody you got cooked by a pito. I did. My 15-year-old girlfriend slept with the singer of my band.

Well, anyway, check out that podcast on our Patreon or Supercast or Backed by. It was a fantastic episode. I really enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. So I hope you guys will check that out. Now. And I should mention another quick announcement there, Vinny, is that we're moving to Fridays, but not this Friday.

This Friday's a travel day for me. Okay. I love video. I just like, oh, no one ever fucking tells me anything. Tell you now. Carl, there's a disgusting vomit-inducing thing. I hate it when people don't tell me stuff.

It makes me angry. Hold on a second. Vinnie, what am I doing right now? What am I doing with you right now? Blindsiding me. The creep off on my vacation. I built a, oh, producer Chris, built a desk this morning. Just so I can be all set up in here to do this show with.

you today. Let's all thank producer Chris. Maybe you could have him fix the internet for you. Let's all thank producer Chris. Now, let's not talk about my vacation, my Florida home. No one cares about that shit. What they care about is Super Chat Monday. Super Chat Monday is a glorious holiday that we're celebrating today. And I see we have some people who are actively celebrating it

with us. Nice says Live WATP. Sorry, nice. Thanks for the five bucks, but no. Hold on. Hold on. Nice gets one of these. of money Here we go Thanks for the super chat Nice at least Jen From the Jingles department thinks he's nice

Very nice Bill Loney Nice Jack of Vinny We'll get you the W this week Thanks Bill Oh stop it Bill Loney Stop cheating David Chandler

100 bucks David Chandler Coming in with the big one I think I have a David Chandler Drop I don't know where it is If you don't and it doesn't sound like I know, I agree. If it isn't the suckling noises.

Dude, you're the man, David Channer. Thanks for pretty much, this is the sponsor of the Dabbleverse right here. Oh, yeah, every bonus episode is dedicated to you, David. He also gave 20 bucks and said PS vote for Vinny. No, no. I take it out better. I'm not going to find the drop now. Hey, I got a fun new drop speaking of.

Everybody go to paypuff.com and vote for my new best buddy, Vinnie Paulino. Thank you, John. Isn't it funny that that did not work, even with his amazing broadcasting reach? Somehow you were still able to lose. Let me just hit this for David Chandler. Here comes the money. Here we go. Thanks for the super check.

Everyone take notes from David Chandler, who is a true patriot and a hero. There it is. Bill Loney, I want to say, yes, Cheryl, come on the after show as long as you promise to ignore me and I have to speak to no one. I'll be glad to do that again. The creep off, another five bucks from nice. Oh my God, sorry, the creep off live. Nice.

Sorry, first time. The YouTube subscription is extra nice. Well, that's correct. We are simulcasting this on the Who Are These Podcasts channel, which is why people might get confused. But yes, we do the creep off every Monday at 1 o'clock Eastern time. And I will tell you that we're going to be doing it on both the creep off channel, which you should sub to as well as the Who Are These podcast channel. Yep. So we just want to make sure you guys know we're having.

some fun over here. I want you to come play in the sandbox. Creep boff's been going strong for three years and not everybody realize that on account of how little you speak of it on WATP. Chad's black eye a $1.99. Why is Carl using Cardiff and Stuttering John's background? Great question. Good question.

Yep. Uh, right. Now, folks, I guess that means... This is becoming the background of the internet. I don't know if you've noticed that. But aside from Tuky, I think everyone else is catching on that this is the right background to have. pretty fun. Troy Smith

asked me for it. Oh, no. What's he up to? You'll find out. You'll find out. Hold on a second. Before we get on to the show, we do need to get on with the show. Yeah. Nice just came in huge for us. David Chandler level huge for us. Here comes the money.

Here we go. Thanks for the Super Chat. Nice. At least Jen from the Jingles Department thinks he's nice. Chandler is extra extra nice I agree nice oh man one more Vinny has me locked in a dark room please like it Super Chatter

who you'll be had me De La yeah but he's the five bucks Thank you De La thank you very much sir I want to know how we got internet in there Voltaire Vin continued the Carla SJ leaks to SJ

we need the truth you got it buddy David Chandler with 50 bucks geez this is awesome Thank you guys. You guys are really being super cool today. Thank you. Yay.

Super chats. Not as nice as nice. Sure you are, buddy. Sure you are. All right. Let's have a nice off right now. So I was watching Tuki Soup last night. As one does when you're on vacation.

Dude, Tuki Soup rules. So we were watching Tuki soup and he was running into an issue where he was getting too many super chats. The poor puppet. Poor monster. He's getting too many super chats out there. He feels like he. Who does he think he is?

Kevin Brennan. What does he think he is? That he even said that. He was just like, this is turning into business with company. I got to move on. We got to do, we got to do the show, which is what we have to do. And because I was the winner from last week, it means I get to go first. And I am bringing the creepiest cruise line employ. Is that the category this week officially? That is it. People every day, they get on these boats.

They go out to sea with total strangers, sometimes going through international waters. very interesting stuff and there's one specific cruise line that really caters to the kids and i think you would agree with me the disney cruise line that's the one where you want to bring your youngans on they got something for kids of all ages to do on that cruise line well i want to introduce you to an employee there keith seats well he isn't an employee anymore let's be honest oh no and i have a Florida theme today. Obviously, I'm in Florida. This person's from Florida. Who are these creepos?

Is Florida-based. So I'll read you the headline here. A Florida man who works for a Disney cruise line has been accused of repeatedly raping a 13-year-old girl at his home. Huh. Orange County deputies. Say that again?

Not even on the boat, huh? No. He brought some things on the boat with him. Orange County deputies arrested 53-year-old Keith Seitz on November 25th, 2019. The 13-year-old girl told her mother that Seats raped her multiple times between 2016 and 2019, beginning when she was 10 years old and in fourth grade. The victim cannot remember the exact number of times these events took place,

but she said that she believes it would be over 100 times. So you got this 13-year-old who's already banged her boyfriend over 100 times. She's going to be popular in school, I would imagine. I imagine that that's got to be. be the record for fifth grade. At least in that class. I would think so. The girl said he took naked photos

over it and showed her anime porn. He allegedly looked at her photos while on the Disney cruise ship. So in order to get him through those long times away, he needed naked photos of his girlfriend out there. Oh, that's bad.

See, hid the photos in a password-protected app on his phone that looked like a calculator icon. I don't remember reading about this this is fun so apparently there's some type of app you can download that makes it look like it's a calculator but really it's all your cp is hanging out in there that's that's fun i don't want to know that um this is a quote from the uh the police report the victim was shown nude photographs of herself within the app he told the girl that he kept those photographs in the calculator application for when he was away from her while working for disney sees was charged with

four counts of sexual battery, one count of lewd and lascivious molestation on a victim under 12. And so this guy, it's unbelievable. You think about a guy in his early 50s, is just dating a girl who's 10. Like they're dating. This isn't just like, oh, I raped a girl, whoopsie. This is, we get together every Saturday night,

watch anime porn and then bang. And where are the parents for this? Where is this child's parents? That's what I want to know. I want to know that conversation. I want to be with that conversation when she finally tells her mom. She's like, all right, so Uncle Keith, what's his deal, by the way? She's like, oh, he's been fucking the shit out of me for the last three years.

You didn't know that? I thought for sure, everyone knows if you drop a little girl off at a guy's home every Saturday night, then something bad is happening. I introduced him to all of you as my friend Keith, and I introduced her to the grandma. He's probably having dinner with them and shit. Yeah. Why do you think he brought flowers, mom? Why do you think he brought flowers?

so anyway yeah you're right the mother should be locked up as well holy shit how does how does she let her 10 11 12 a 13 year old daughter have a boyfriend who's 50 for all those years is there like a Disney system that she gets like to take advantage of because oh you know what they're probably perks involved she's like yeah you know what uncle Keith is a good guy we're going to go to the park again this summer probably on a cruise ship in the fall. Dylan from somewhere says, did he at least get the wrestler pictures like Jim Florentine?

That's hilarious. Dude, I'll never forget sitting across from him the first time he told me that story, eating barbecue and going, yeah, I got a picture of superstar Billy Graham. I have him to look at everybody. This dude was diddley. Well, I think he was just sitting

in his lap and stopped kissing it, right? He woke up in the middle of the night with the guy's hands down his pants. And he was You can have 15 pictures, 15. It's awesome. We got a Bruto San Martino. Oh, man. All right.

I would imagine a young Jim Fourntine was an attractive kid. Probably a lot of the molesters out there were looking to get with them. And just one guy figured out a way into his heart. I'm sure he's fighting petos off a Luke right now somewhere. It's probably true. All right. Well, continue with your story. What a horrible thing to say.

I'm saying he's a good-looking kid. All right, so please vote for Keith Seats, the child molester who had a 10-year-old girlfriend for over three years. Yeah, this is lame. My creep now. My creep is a 28-year-old from Indonesia, who in 2014 was an employee of Holland America's cruise ships. Ketut Pujayasa was his name,

and he started working for the cruise ship company in 2012. following a screening that included a clean criminal background check and according to the folks at Holland America after they were forced to release a statement from an attorney they said he had no performance issues and came with good references so as you can imagine

this shit's going to be fun now let's fast forward to Valentine's Day 2014 a woman who has been identified only as CLW had a bit of a bad night on a ship called the New Amsterdam now here's what I know about her okay here's what I know about New Amsterdam not a good gym I wouldn't try it okay well she's married but her husband was not there with her on this cruise she is by profession an aerialist so that means she does aerobics high above the

ground on tight ropes tight ropes and trance pieces and she was not hired by Lizzo so she can imagine and she has a great bod. Yeah. Nice second lady. Now, she was enjoying the fifth day of an eight-day cruise with the nudist vacation specialists

bare necessities, Carl. Now, they went to Jamaica, the Bahamas, Honduras. Wait a second. This is a nudist cruise.

Yes. I always thought that the nudist colonies were all like fat and out of shape people with small penises and gross boobs. And that's why I'm bringing up that she was a pretty good looker. And it ended up shaving her life.

That's surprising. Okay. Let me tell you about, I found out some things about that. I thought it was a bunch of Brent Hattley's and Caitlin Hattley's. I didn't realize. Oh, I'm sure that the lower decks were filled with people who looked like you and me.

Could you imagine if the Titanic was filled with those people? Nobody would have cared. It's like, it's good. You know, I was actually, I had breakfast with my buddy Kevin yesterday. He recommended that I bring in the guy who said the Titanic was unsinkable

as my creep this week. That's funny. So let me tell you about bare necessities. tour. They cater to nudist travelers aboard Holland America's cruise ships. Now, guests of the crews are required to wear clothes only when the ship is in

port or when they are at dinner or attending the captain's party. However, you are... Oh, the captain doesn't get down? Come on, Captain. You are allowed to be nude when attending to the captain's balls. I've learned that. So, you can be nude the rest of the time

you're on the ship. Now, okay. She's on there. It's Valentine's Day. She's been running around naked all day. She goes to bed. She goes into her cabin. And as she turns down the lights, she notices in the shadows, there's a figure lurking on the balcony of her room. And that would be my boy, Katut. He comes out of the, out through the balcony, into the bedroom, jumps on top of her and starts choking her. And what I tell you, this is a beat down that lasts an hour, Carl. He beats her over the head with her own fucking laptop.

He tries to choke her and straggler with the phone cord. Punching choking with hands. Eventually, she loses consciousness as one would. And that's when the rape starts. That's when the rape starts. Now, eventually she comes too. And he starts trying to choke her out again, this time with the curling iron, the court from her curling iron that was there.

Now, he figured. at this point he is beaten he has raped this woman and when i tell you this car i'm going to show you a picture of him here you go this is him and now folks i'm sorry to do this to you but the next picture i'm going to show you is from the private lawsuit against uh holland uh cruises this is a picture from her case this is her after the assault oh that's not good yeah that is how bad this little fuck beat this woman okay but she comes to and what he decided he was going to do was throw her the fuck off the boat smart he calculated you don't want to see that body that's going to be some evidence right there yeah he figured out the time when they were going to be in a part of

the ocean where he could just throw her off and they will never fucking find this woman but she came to as he was open the door most of the ocean guess what part of the ocean that is most to me. Good point. And I honestly don't think the cruise ship is going to turn around for one person.

Yeah, I mean, the sharks are hungry out there. Yeah. And she's already bleeding all over the place. So it'd be easy. True.

Easy pickets. So Carl, he opens up the door to the balcony and this woman starts screaming and screaming and screaming. To the point now

that because it's going out of the balcony, people are starting to hear it. Now, he picks her up and tries to, you know, firemen's carry her,

to go fucking flip her off the balcony but she's so strong she starts trying to choke him out with her legs and she's right she's an athlete she's fighting him back and he's like five foot two he's just this little fucking guy and he's like swinging and trying to get her out

and he's running out onto the balcony trying to pull her and she grabs onto the door like a cartoon and she will not let go and she's strong enough that this motherfucker can't get away from her number one and he can't get her over and she's screaming and screaming and screaming. And at that point, he realizes people are looking over the balcony to see what

happens. And you know what sucks about this? Is if they weren't all nude, someone would have had a smartphone on them. We could have seen video of all this taking place. But fucking idiots, where are you going to carry a cell phone when you're naked up your ass? Good point, Carl. I just found the one flaw in going on a nude cruise. Yes, she would be the victim of countless crimes because no one will be there to document them. Beware. So eventually they separate. she goes running outside of a room where people have already gathered like because they're wondering trying to get in and they're banging on the door he scurries off the balcony down the side of the ship down to other balconies now he gets away they find her in the hallway where's he going to go right exactly she's got a fucking curling iron cord wrapped her on her neck and she looks like i just showed you comes walking out of the place now there's a full on search for this guy And when he went through another room, he came out into a hallway where there were other staff. And they saw him come out of that room.

And they're like, oh, something weird as happy on the ship. But we just saw the one guy covered in blood running around with a boner trying to escape. So they go back to port and the FBI gets involved, Carl. And when the FBI got involved, they arrested him. And would you like to know what he had to say about that? He had a whole great explanation for the whole situation. Great. A victim blame

Who I'm sorry but You brought this on yourself A victim blame Who I'm sorry but Rusty's A you sort of deserve this He was simply Who wrote that one? That one came in for the same dude

Who did the Who did this one I think Let's talk about Matt No not that one shit Where'd it go Oh But she's not dead But she's not dead

So we got to keep her Keep this one alive So he claims he was simply punishing the woman Because she insulted his family's honor, Carl Okay That's what she told the FBI That's the white move then Now

He was delivering her breakfast that morning And he knocked on the door three times Before she acknowledged him and he claimed that as he was knocking and being polite and doing his job he heard her say wait a minute

son of a bitch he said that sent him over the edge how dare you disrespect my mother like that even though she may not have even been talking about him she just said

son of a bitch in the room maybe she was trying to get her stuff to get the door open well also son of a bitch and motherfucker are terms that we use they don't actually mean what they mean i would explain this as indonesian man like no it's actually not about your mother or anything like that yeah they had to explain the subtleties of this and maybe if you don't understand these kind of things don't get into the service industry my friend well either way it's not the best excuse i wouldn't call it the world's best excuse for his behavior carl he says he walked to the lido deck on deck nine earlier in the day

and saw her standing there and he looked around and realized how many people were there so he didn't go punch her in the face. That's what he premeditated this plan and used his master key to break into her

room and hide out on the balcony where he fell asleep listening to his AirPods waiting for her to come back. So he just sat there all the time in the world cool as a cucumber, listening to his fucking music. AirPods, many? Airpods. Yeah. They're paying these people too much money to be on these cruise ships.

Wow. Someone's doing well. He just fell asleep out there. So he's not in a homicidal rage. He's calm enough to chill out. He's just like, oh, lights went out. Time to rape and punish her. Fucking insane.

Either way, tried, convicted of attempted murder and sexual assault. And he is doing 30 years in prison. I would like to remind everybody. Vomit-inducing thing. That you should go to the creep off. Everybody go to peepoff.com and vote for my new best buddy, Vinnie Paulino. Thank you, John. That's my presentation this week.

Vote for Vinny. I see. All right. Well, Vinny, fantastic job, as always. We're both amazing at this, I have to say. And what's even more amazing are the viewers and the listeners to the creep off. Let's get caught up real quick. We had a couple of super chats.

Yeah, Trevor 020 bucks. Get on with it. That's the funniest thing about these. Chats is that they perpetuate people talking about the superchats as they come in, which we appreciate. I'm eternally grateful that anybody would want to support us at all. So thank you very much, Trevor Zero. Thank you very much.

But God damn, sometimes it does drag things down. We ordered Jay a midget stripper for $200 928 at 3 p.m. All right. That'll be fun for him. That'll be a fun afternoon for him. Uncle Paul's funny-smelling Rag and Boreum, $2. I thought this was the creep off, not the tattle tail off. That's fucking hilarious.

That old guy over there. Paulino, Paulino. All right, that's not funny. Holy shit, David Chandler. Hit likes, creeps. It's free. It helps video self-image immensely. Er tons.

I mean, quite a bit. Thanks for the 50 bucks, David Chandler. Here comes the money. Here we go. Thanks for the super check. Everyone take no. from David Chandler, who is a true patriot and a hero. Agreed. Thank you, David Chandler.

And Mongo, thanks for the 10 bucks. Carl here. Gary, Indiana is beautiful this time of year. And Mongo, we have a jingle being made just for you, buddy. So thank you for the support. You know what else is beautiful this time of year is where I am right now, which is Florida. Okay. Whatever you say. Whatever you say, pal.

Now, Carl, I believe the competition. is done, that would make it time for who are these creepos? That's correct, meaning who are these creepos? And this week, our buddy Alex sent me a suggestion and he nailed it with this one because this is a show called Florida Gurley's, a true crime podcast with host

Caitlin and Courtney. Let me read you the description of the show that started back in June. Florida is weird. You know it, we know it. Everybody knows it. But we locals have a hotter than summer sand take on everything from alligators as emotional support animals to the infamous Florida man join Caitlin and Courtney as we break down local crime both old and new and brow raising personal stories on the newest podcast all about the wild wild east Florida girlies now I have to say I like the premise it makes sense to me I don't like the name

I probably won't like the hosts but I like the idea of just focusing on Florida true crime because as you know vending as we go through the scum parade every week there's always at least one story coming out of florida sometimes multiple stories but couldn't argue that we have our own so it makes one around here yes of course all right so let's see how kately and courtney do this now it starts off with a kind of an awkward start my track number one there hello hello hello dude I'm Courtney And I'm Caitlin And we are

The Florida Girls Not good energy Not a good start A little awkward A little annoying If everybody start off like Vic Hello Hello

Yeah it's like Vic talking to Vic You're right You're right Vic only works when you have someone with energy Talking to her She doesn't work in a bubble so that wasn't great but they did say hello which is a great way to start a show sure and then after they played their little intro music they uh now they have to say hi so clip two

hi yes hi how you doing i'm good you good yeah today was a roller coaster yeah yeah i thought i was dying today today just today this is right before i've been with you for like an hour and This is the first time hearing of this. So these two girls, they're friends. They get together and they're doing their thing. I think they're like sitting on their bed or something like that because they bring that up later. They're just sitting on one of the girls' beds.

And it's all right, everybody. It's interesting that Caitlin says, hey, by the way, I thought I was dying earlier today. And so Courtney's just like, well, how is that possible? We've been hanging out for an hour. He didn't seem upset or anything. like that. Apparently, Caitlin cleans Airbnb's for living. It's one of the three jobs you can have Florida Airbnb cleaner. Yes. You either clean Airbnbs. You're a pool guy or you're

unemployed. Those are those three things you can do in Florida. So she does one of those. What an economy. Now, my track number three, listen to why she thought she was dying today. and somebody like left a whole slew of of vitamins and supplements and one of them was AG1 vitamins have you heard of that okay I never I see those like all over TikTok all the time and I'm like these are really good and it was like a dropper of vitamin k and d3 and I was like cool and I read it and I just quickly read it and I thought it said like half of a dropper full but it was 0.05. And so I gave myself 10 times the amount of vitamins that it recommended. Is that bad? It means just vitamins. Well, you can, you can like overdose on vitamin D.

Oh, good. Essentially. How? If you do too much of it, it's supposed to be like the limit, the max limit is like 10,000 in a day. Vinnie. Yeah, Carl. This woman thought she was, was dying because she decided to just ingest something she found in an Airbnb. You got to be careful. Dude, I can't stand it. There's a certain generation of people.

They cannot go 30 minutes without talking about something they saw on TikTok. I've been picking up on this. It's so fucking obnodged. You're like, well, on TikTok, I saw this thing on TikTok. It was on TikTok. So you see that thing on TikTok? It's insane.

You got to be careful with vitamin D. People get addicted. No, vitamin D's, even cornees is just like, who gives a shit? Yeah, you had to you adjusted vitamin D. What are you talking about? This is not a problem. I looked it up. This is not a problem.

No one's going to die from adjusting vitamin D. There's people who have been, you know, sucked into human trafficking on the, the entry level drug that is vitamin D. No, it's not a thing. You have to be careful, Carl. These people leave these supplements behind and she's just like, oh, we suck these things down. She's like, that was too much vitamin D.

I almost died today. that's what she started with what a fucking idiot number one that you're even taking it right dude I listen I don't mind ingesting drugs from time to time but I'm not just picking up whenever I find it's a fucking Airbnb that people left

and shoving them in my face sounds crazy to me I don't know you do you then I wish it was just like liquid LSD and it was just labeled because you know that's what you would do if you're bringing drugs somewhere you would put a label on it to make it look like it was vitamins that's what i would do sure good point good good point yeah yeah

that's why they tell you green and purple green and purple nuggets those are my vitamins officer i think that's why they tell you not to take pills that weren't prescribed to you that you don't know what they are i mean i've heard that somewhere a couple times couple times it's definitely a best practice i'm not saying nancy ragan was right about everything but that one i might agree with her on so after Katelyn tells that story about she thought she was dying from ingesting vitamin D, she then goes on to tell a second story. Remember, this is the True Cry podcast, but nobody can fucking just do a True Cry podcast. They have to tell stories about their boring, dull lives.

So Caitlin has a young daughter, and she's giving the young daughter swimming lessons, but she doesn't have a pool. So the young daughter is either going to a friend's pool, she doesn't really explain. I don't know what pool this is, but listen to this fucking story, track four. we were probably in there for like 40 minutes and I get her out and I start like getting her bathing suit off and as soon as I pulled the bathing suit down I was like no there's poop diaper and for those of you who don't know it it doesn't like taint the pool if unless it gets out of the diaper and it's like yeah you know are you sure about that your daughter should

up someone's fucking pool you know pissed that would be if someone brought their kid over they on my pool, but he? That's a problem right there. Let me tell you how loud I would be yelling. I would call that kid every time I see him until they graduate. Oh, the pool shitter. I would fucking hate this child forever. I'd be tormenting that kid into her 60s.

I'd be smearing shit on her fucking front door. You shit, my pool, you cut! I know you don't remember, but I sure is shit do. Fucking mom of the year. She's just adjusting shit from an Airbnb that she didn't know the people who were staying at and then followed that up with and I brought my daughter to a pool and she's shitting it. Carl, it doesn't matter if the poop doesn't like, you know, get out of the diaper.

You know what I mean? I think it does. No, it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't. I heard that. So if you play my track number five, this part right here. Yeah, True Crime Podcasts on me today. Who's shit in my pool?

Yes. That is a crime. Thank you, Trevor Zero. Oh, sorry. Here we go. Number five. And as I'm going to throw it. Hold on.

Before you play, I'll just set this up real quick. Sorry, I got distracted by the super chat or the chat you put up. This sounds to me, so she's explaining getting rid of the diaper,

the shitty diaper. And this sounds to me like, she did not eat it, Vinny. Look at how excited Vinny gets about eating stuff. He's like, yeah, was it food? It wasn't food.

It was poop. So you would think, listening to this. that these are two women having brunched together. This is what this reminds you. This is not a show. And as I'm going to throw it, I didn't,

I didn't quite fold the diaper. I didn't quite fold. I didn't quite fold the diaper. I didn't hear of it. I'm going to be in a piece. I'm crying. I'm on my bed. Oh, no.

Please don't be on my bed. I'm holding it. Okay. I've got to pull myself together. So, basically, a poop falls. me could you imagine if these women were sitting next to you at a restaurant you would move tables these women think that that's so fucking hilarious their dumb private conversation that it should be a show i don't want to talk to you anymore for the rest of the show because of this i don't blame you

i don't blame you this is terrible this is what i this is what's funny my vacation doing for anyone who wants to bitch about my green screen over here this is what i'm doing over here all right so this woman, Caitlin, who's telling all these boring anecdotes about her life. She continues on with another one, my track number six here. I'm going to give a little cavity update.

Oh, good. I took, for those of you who care, I took Mila to the dentist again, and I have healed, for the most part, healed her cavities. Who gives a shit? Who gives a fuck? Who could possibly care about you bringing your daughter to the

dentist? Do you hear your yourself. Vinnie, what's worse? A mom with a toddler or a girl who owns a dog? Which person would you rather not hear from? I'm married to a woman who owns a dog. So it's a tie is the answer. It's a fucking tie. I don't care about your dog. I don't care about your daughter and her cavities. Shut the fuck up. I was going to continue to say that I went to a child's birthday party yesterday. Did you? For a one year old. And my wife owns a dog. And I, I think I would choose a noose. That is the right answer.

Who's that old guy over there? Paulino. Paulino. I surprised he even let you at a one-year-old's birthday party. Carl, you don't even know, buddy. You don't even know how fucking hard I had to keep shit in. The urge to touch all the kids. No.

Yeah, right. Exactly. No. Please, somebody, somebody grab that for me. I definitely need that next to this Let's see that dick All right So let's move on

Because now they're going to talk about how they got into true crime And they're talking about The Casey Anthony case track number seven Yeah I think the first case I remember like really watching with my family Was the Casey Anthony case And it was like just on TV every day And I have to have been like 12

I just forget that's a Florida case I don't That bitch is crazy Yeah Oh my God please don't sue me for defamation all right i would love if case anthony sued her for defamation i would love to see casey anthony try to prove that she's not crazy that would be a fun court proceeding well good fucking luck that's what i mean so all of a sudden this woman gets all nervous

that there's defamation and she's like oh shit by the way we got to be careful because people could sue us on this podcast and basically that's not true because no one's listening to this podcast. So you're fine. This is a private conversation that you're having with your friend. But my track number eight, she decides it's time to pull out the almighty disclaimer that saves you from all potential lawsuits. You're kidding me. She feels the need for a show that no, I guarantee you we're the only people who are listening to it. Okay, guys, guys, you're not allowed to sue her now. I don't know. I didn't think about that at all, but somebody pointed that out. They're like, just be careful with the podcast like that. Like,

yeah you have to always be like this is my theory which it always is our this everything that we say on this podcast aside from like our stories if we're like just chiming in with chit-chat it's opinions it's not fact yeah so i just want to make this very clear to everybody that everything i say on this show is a goof vini is always dead serious everything vini says is dead serious and I think he does defame some people from time to time. Just pointing that out there. I'm putting that.

Could you imagine thinking that, oh, by the way, what we're saying on this show and then they're going to go to, they're going to get sued and they're going to be like, yeah, but we got to reference episode 24,

13 minutes in, where I said that these are just our opinions. Oh, well, then it's dismissed. Blanket. Blanket coverage, right? Your Honor, if I just say it the one time, it covers every other time.

We said that one time two years ago on the show. so we're good we got it all right fucking dummies people are dummies all right let's get into the true crime vini are you ready for this because this is a this episode's about florida man what he's so now we're gonna start off yeah i don't wait i want to know what he's up to so my track number nine they're finally getting ready for the stories and um i'm starting to think that these two are not professionals

are you guys ready to hear some florida man headlines i'm ready i'm ready to hear yours You do want me to go first? Yeah. Okay. I always like those great broadcasters who start off their broadcasts with all right. Here we go. She's speaking in tongues?

What the fuck is that? I don't know what she's doing. And the fact that they think that people are listening to this, like, okay, guys, you got everybody ready now? Nobody's listening to this. You guys are not good at it. Nope, not good at it at it at all. not interesting. All right.

Let's finally get my track number time. The first Florida man story, I can't wait. Florida man almost loses leg to flesh eating disease after getting bitten in a family brawl. By a human? By a human. Causing flesh eating diseases? Yes.

So apparently during an altercation. So this is what I've decided, Betty. When you start reading the scumbrate stories, I'm just going to react to like that other woman I'm dead just been, what? Oh, huh? Ah, I think that'd be funnier. Why are you doing the noise from the Why Do I Podcast Open? That's whatever noise that way.

What the fuck is that noise? I don't even understand that. And there's like a dinging sound for some reason. I've still yet to bring that up to John. I don't understand why it's like, I go, ah, look at those tusks, kids. look at those tusks so weird well then he called me out so he was trying to make a joke about

me i'm sorry you get me sidetrack so easily with us john was trying to goof on a photo of me and so they said that um well he said i bought my shirt from jc penny yeah and then he corrected it to make it funer and he goes no the gap because of his teeth and blind mike goes oh that's pretty good i go well mike you never see what i look like i don't actually have gap teeth it's a very different thing yeah they're very close together it's more of like they're very close together yeah It's more of a directional issue. They're all pointing different ways. It's much more directional.

Carl's teeth are like the scarecrow, the Wizard of Oz. He's just like going, eh. Yeah, going lots of different ways. This two's going this way. This just going to this way. This guy in the middle is just like, hey, what do you have from me? It's a sin, Ma. All right.

Okay. So my last clip here, they're going to, this is what I like about any of these true crime shows that we listen to or any true crime show that anyone listens to. What I want is I want is, I want uninformed banter. That's always an important element. Not just read the story, but also some uninformed banter.

To be fair, that's where we shied. Yes. And he's, the craziest part of all of it is that his job is a funeral assistant. Really? Yeah. What kind of, what kind of rabid human bites their family member? First of all, I don't know. Second of all, what is how, where have we gotten in humanity?

society where we can simply bite someone and cause a flesh-eating disease. You don't think that has always been a thing if you've like broken skin biting someone? No. No. Good analysis of the case. Why did she bring up the craziest part? He's a funeral assistant. What is that to do with?

Why is that crazy? What was the category that week? Yeah. I mean, he has a job. Can you believe this guy's employees? Lloyd. Yeah, okay. A lot of people are. Not in Florida, but, you know, in other places in the country, a lot of people are gainfully employed. Yeah. So it's not that big a deal. Vinny, I know what you're thinking. How hot are these two broads? I know you want to see it.

So I did grab a clip from their Instagram. I want you to play the video. Now, they put this up to promote their podcast. Okay. So this has got to be some good stuff. They're both for people listening. These two women are sitting on the couch next to each other. There's an open bottle of some type of booze shocking and they're recording an old school WATP style with a microphone sitting in the middle of the bar yeah one microphone in the middle now that I'm looking at these two they kind of look like

bizarre oh us you're right it's like the opposite of us there's the ugly skinny girl and the ugly fat girl yeah you're right it's fun all right let's see what they have to say actually might be my favorite all of them too because it happened in Cape Canaveral

okay it's very Mirabias, Florida man pulls out with shuddy after Barr refuses to let him sing another karaoke. Is this me? Save. So I'll go off, you know. Go off cake. I did karaoke with my mom for Mother's Day and...

Oh, I saw that. I sang like four or five songs. I know. I don't care. I don't care. Was it Kennedy's? I was. all right i think that's everything you need to know about these too

she is a lot like me if she lost a lot of weight she'd be cute maybe i'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one all right uh bini no you are very cute ken for sure oh my god yes i can't believe no one ever wanted to give you wrestling pictures it's too bad not once sorry feel sorry for you hey uh nasty ale coming in wow that's fucking awesome 50 bucks outstanding last few weeks of shows poor viddy s j's new best friend oof carlos killing it i like john we get along fine here we go thanks for the super chat nasty l is an amazing fan he always wants more music shows and episodes from who are these nasty i'm much appreciated hell yeah uh carl i have a couple

other clips from the other day i i'm friends with john now i think I know he said that is my new is my new good friend and I really mean that I like him a lot I like you too John I can hang out with Vinnie Paulino

any day to week grab some beers and have great and have great conversation all things that are true and I appreciate it John I hope that happens I hope that happens

I can find out where he's going to be today I'm up here today can't do it but when I do go down there I got an idea I go to Stevie Tomatoes where John will be hanging out you might be there now. I'll go to CB Tomatoes and I'll just FaceTime and I'll bring you in and I'll just set up my phone. You two can have a conversation. What do you think?

That'd be nice. It'd be a great conversation. I love it. Okay. Dela thanks for the two bucks for Carl's green screen. Hardest working in the biz. It feels like it's struggling today. Thank you very much, Dela. Cardiff Electric. KFK pretending to be in New York. Green screen fail, hypocrite. Cardiff's right. I believe that's $2. Is that club foot, Carl? Is he trying to change my name to KFK now? I think he is.

I think he is. I just want to say Cardiff, who's also on vacation or going on vacation, is not doing as much work as I do. Fuck you! Thank you for the 279 Californian currency. Yes, California, right. YouTube censorship, five bucks. I'm a subscriber to your shows, but sometimes you sound like high school losers. talking in the hallway this is one of those times just saying

wasn't when two dorks need to get bullied and shoved into their locker who else you get a call upon my jokes don't go over i don't care everybody fuck you dude i don't care car no no i just i just want to say youtube censorship is which is something i'm normally for um is off on this specific point because nerds need to get bullied it's part of the natural or of things. You don't fucking get mad at the wolves. The pack of wolves

ripping up a deer, do you? Are you mad at the children for laughing, sir? Is that what you're mad about? It's the natural order of things. It's time for some voicemails. And they're brought to us by our friends in Syracuse. The creepoff voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse.

Syracuse police have said a local man was stabbed at a strip club. The man said the perpetrator was about 5'10, 260 at a full 5 o'clock shadow. Police are still unsure which are the dancers it was. See you in Syracuse. That's a well-crafted joke. I have to give Big Bride credit for that one.

He puts his very well-down. This is somebody who's mad at you, Carl. I wasn't going to say anything, but then Carl kept pressing the fucking issue. The whole point of the three-hour music torture challenge, or however long it was, it doesn't matter. The whole point of it was the motherfucker was supposed to be handcuffed. That was the whole original story was that police officers handcuffed and played baby shark.

So what the fuck? Why does he keep bringing it back? Like, oh, I did not. No, Carl, you haven't done shit. You didn't do Gary Indiana. You didn't do the last one either. Your lucky Vinny is being gracious to you. Go fuck yourself.

Vinny Winnie people's chance. I have a great guy, sir. You are correct. handsome gracious charming and then there's carl over here skating out on all the consequences that was a serious consequence that i had to go through and i since then i don't even know if i like the bills anymore because i heard that song so many times and because they looked terrible against the steelers over the weekend yeah i heard that they got taken apart pretty quick uh yeah that's bad carl question for you friend have you thought about

my offer. Well, I have thought about your offer. I don't think we talked about it last week we were supposed to. Yep. You've had plenty of time to think about it. Well, yeah, I brought it up. The offer was if Carl... I don't think you put it up on the show, did you? Yeah, we talked about it on the show. I said to a jersey.

You got to go full to a jersey. Oh, right. We did talk about it on the show. To a Bill's home game, to the Bill's home game, full to a jersey. And if you, if the dolphins win, you're not allowed to wear jacket on the way out of the stadium. Okay. I'm not worried about the Dolphins winning, but I will say this.

I will say this. I will do that consequence if the listeners agree. So I want you to put out a poll to see if they think that consequence would make up for the Gary Indiana consequence because I don't want to do this. And then everyone would be like, he still has to go to Gary to cop out, even though this was your idea and it's a good idea and it is a consequence for fucking sure. I don't know if people realize what a consequence It says if you're up into a Bill's game

I guess the dolphins you would know Oh, DeWiard Christian You would think this But that is not true. They still try Bill's fans are too obese to try anything No sir They throw things as far as they can They'll throw beer on him

They'll throw food on him Especially with Dua comes out When they're up 27 nothing by halftime Carl they might fucking crucify Carl He might be up on a fucking cross of the stands. Especially because they're going to be cheering for every two of Touchtop, I'm like, yeah, we got them.

Take that. Oh, my God. I'd be the happiest guy in the world. Oh, I'd be the happiest guy on the world. All right. Let's put it out there. Let's see what people think because I will do that context. I'm going to the Bills Dolphins game, October 1st, and I hate the Dolphins.

Diehard Bill's fan. So it would be very difficult and painful to do. dress up in in a to a jersey or dolphins gear uh bubble popper 24 so cool to see your cow picture at john show again f you vitty hysterical john's going to do that every he really does i'm so happy pointed this out i'm thrilled someone pointed out john uses that picture as if it was like this secret stash photo that only you have it was a and no one else knew about that you gave to your wife for your anniversary carl that's my story That's how he treats it.

It's so stupid. I even explain to him why it exists and what it is. And he still just like, oh, yeah, I don't think so. I don't think so. Way do you see. Okay, I'll tease this right now. You know our buddy Dave from Canada? I do.

Yeah, he and I are working on a new creep-off t-shirt that I think you folks are really going to enjoy. Hopefully we'll have a mock-up for it pretty soon. But Carl, you're going to love it. I know John will love it because I'll send them too. uh all right killer elucidator thanks for the 10 bucks carl should hang out with john for a whole day instead okay maybe that's an option you have to go wow wow to run errands in your car what what vehicle do you have down there do you have a car car i do i do i do i have a toyota SUV okay so i think that that should be the consequence you should have to take john running errands for a day listen john blocked me just the other day i think he's mad at me again i don't know if he's going to want to do that okay i'm i can reach out to him and see but i don't think so Okay. Here's someone who wants to tell me I'm a stupid fat-tongued idiot. Federal.

Vinnie. Triple bypass, Paulino. Federal is the word. Not federal. Federal. When the fuck did federal get a G in there or a J, you fat piece of shit? Federal. You always say federal.

It's federal. The federal bureau bureau. of investigations the federal government not the federal like learn how to fucking talk or is it just your fat tongue yes thank you fuck you how many times

I have to explain it to you people it's not just my head you are a stupid idiot he brought up a good point there I know I know I'm aware I agree I am very aware I agree with the color I ladies and gentlemen if you think that I am an arrogant genius you're out here

goddamn mind I'm as dumb as they fucking come I'm not fucking worried about it, okay? I'm not fucking hung up on it. All right, we got a creep report. So I'd like to report a creep. Me and my buddies were leaving the bar from night.

And we're walking downtown. As he's B pulls up next to us said this big fat lady like the world out of when I said, excuse me, can y'all tell me what's how it is? And I look down and I watch him. He

looks, I look back at her and she says it's pussy time fucking holy shit isn't great that's a funniest shit you couldn't put a gun in my goddamn head maybe in that car this bitch holy crap

as big as I'll be all thanks bro that's a good one that's hilarious I think it's pussy time would be a turnoff of a tens of that to me for some reason it's just it's not the right way to present that fucking Megan Kelly couldn't yell that at me without me being

concerned. Right. All right. We got a message from our pal, Animal Kelly, we're a big fan of. Hey, Vinny. Hey, Carl. This is Animal Kelly. And I had a suggestion, not just for the wheel of consequences per se, but a consequence

for when a guest wins. I can't remember if you guys are arguing about doing a separate wheel for them. But one suggestion for if the guest wins, if they get to five, you both have to perform live or do a music video cover of ICP's Miracles in Clown Face wearing ICP and St. Clown Posse like clothes. And you've got to like do the whole song. So maybe when there's a live event, that would be funnier.

Oh, and to add insult, you've got to wear the clown makeup at least for the whole day. I thought that would be a funny idea. all right see you then uh keep on creeping i like that keep on creeping uh i don't like the consequence idea isn't that the iCP song where they sing about or they rap about how great the world is it's all positive and shit oh i wouldn't know that i'm pretty sure it is i'm pretty sure it's pretty cringe if i recall i think i'm not familiar with their work yeah i i don't listen to the i cp but uh i believe i did see something about that it's something

Miracle, I think, is the song. All right, Carl. That is all I got for voicemails today. Do you have any? Nope. That's all I got. Well, then, my friend, it's time for a scum parade. Scum parade.

Take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made. Scum parade. Vinny and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade. of a kid fucked by his mom or dad soaking up the blood of a cat scum parade

I think I found my mother a new lawnscapeer my mother-in-law down in Alabama I think I may have found a guy Carl we're going to Hartsell Alabama 29-year-old man this week is arrested for allegedly hitting a woman

with a shovel and dragging her with the mower I like him It's impressive You got to make do with the tools that you have sometimes, right? Absolutely. You always have the right tools for the job, but she's still got to get it done. By the time the cop showed up, the woman had visible marks on her as well as grass stains on all of her clothes, leaves in her hair, and she was complaining of various injuries.

Deputies learned that Philip Glenn Brennan allegedly became violent with the woman by hitting her with a shovel and attempting to run over her feet with a push mower. Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was a pushmower. I wasn't expecting that. And then he ended up tying her up and dragging the victim across the yard behind him on a riding lawnmower. Whoa. This guy's got both types of mowers. It's a good company.

Was he Alabama rich? Fucking absolutely. That's impressive right there. I like this. Alex said, Always a Brennan. Always a Brennan. I'm not sure which one.

Now, he was arrested in charge with second degree elder abuse and neglect and third degree domestic violence. He's being held on a 20,000. bond. But holy shit, he dragged an old lady behind and a lot more. You know he had a beer. You know Alabama man had a beer. Hell yeah. I have the audio of the incident. Oh, I would just pay to watch that. He's probably listened to that Richmond, North of Richmond song while he was doing it too. Cool. Carl paint a picture. Carl, I'm starting to think that sometimes

doctors are creeps. I've met a couple of them, one specifically I can think of. Well, one doctor who was off the clock, he's from Boston, Massachusetts. He faces federal charges for allegedly masturbating on a flight and ejaculating in front of a 14-year-old who was traveling with their grandparents. Okay, listen, I get touching yourself on a plane because it is very exciting. But ejaculating, that's like what the bathroom was for. Yeah, you got to add on a airplane. If you're in an airplane, you can only edge.

That's the rules, right, Carl? Right, correct. Now, according to the Department of Justice, 33-year-old Dr. Sadopta Mahanti, an internal medicine and primary care physician during a flight on Hawaiian Airlines from Honolulu to Boston in 2022, masturbated and exposed his penis

within the view of a 14-year-old female. Now, the doctor faces charges for lewd and decent obscene acts while on the aircraft, and what had happened was, uh, according to the girl, she said that she saw him covered himself with a blanket up to his neck and the minor noticed that his leg was bouncing up and down the criminal complaint said minor the minor was not really sure what that was

but did not think anything of it minor a then got up and he was playing he was playing that paddle ball game under the blanket probably yeah now he got up went to the bathroom came back sat back at a seat then the doctor got up and went to the bathroom And when he returned to his seat soon after, he put the blanket back on and was doing it again. So the motherfucker couldn't even go to the bathroom to finish. He got up and left and he came back and he goes right back to it. A few minutes later it started again. At that point, the minor observed that the blanket had been covering Mahoney was now off him and on the floor.

And the minor could see that he was masturbated. His pants were unzipped and the minor could see his genitals. The complaint said he was using his hand to go up and down. the man then ejaculated and described it as white stuff that came out on top of him. The man that zipped his pants back up got up and went to the restroom. The victim's grandparents were sleeping at the time, so the victim sat with a woman on the flight and tried not to freak out. Now, here's the thing.

The doctor was sitting next to one of his coworkers who was sound asleep. He was doing this next to a woman he worked with. Vinny, every single person is sleeping. through this, except for the 14-year-old girl. This is not her. Why aren't you sleeping? Everyone else is sleeping. This guy's trying to jerk off in peace while everyone's sleeping, and this little fucking

tangle towel is just like, oh, look at this guy's got his cock out and he's jizzing all over himself. I just feel like this guy really should have just gone to the bathroom, finished up, came back and sat the fuck back down. Okay? That's how

you deal with this situation. Now, the victim's grandparents were sleeping, like I said, and she ended up telling the grandmother, and the mother told the airline, and the airline got the FBI involved. For jerking off, come on. Oh, the FBI had to go. Remember when we said terrorism and shit? Remember that? What happened to that?

Yep. The FBI had to show up at Dr. Mahanty's house, and when he showed up there, they informed him of an allegation. and he appeared visibly nervous and that his hands and voice trembled, he complained, said. He suggested that he had only kissed his companion on the cheek and he didn't do anything else.

That's how we're talking about here, sir. That's not the problem, sir. So he thinks that he must have been doing some really creepy shit he didn't get busted before to this lady that he was next to. He's probably finger blasting her too. You're right, good point. You think she'd notice that, though.

And at which point they asked him whether he had masturbated in front of a 14-year-old girl and he said, I have no recollection of that. I don't. Dummy, the answer is, no, of course not. No, that's the answer. The answer is that I don't recall, stupid. There's no camera.

There's no video. It's her word versus your word. What are you talking about? I would never do something like this. Why would a child make him a story like this? I'm a respected doctor, sir. I am a respected doctor. And let me tell you something, FBI.

good day sir get out that's the way to handle it I agree you fucked up now he's been suspended from his job and he is waiting to appear before a federal court

for this and it is not good it is not a good charge to be up on well I don't like the fact that they really key in on the fact that he's a doctor Everyone has jobs. I don't understand why we were like, well, why would a doctor be masturbating in front of a 14-year-old plane? Why is anyone doing that?

Who gives us shit what they do for a living? I don't understand what the difference that makes. Well, I mean, you would think that a doctor knows that this isn't a sterile thing to do. Shoot and loads all over the cockpit of an airplane. Everyone knows that. It's like when people talk about Vince the lawyer. Like, I can't believe that he acts that way when he's a lawyer. It's like, no, no, he's a piece of shit.

It doesn't matter what his profession is. shitty guy. It's just how pieces of shit operate in this world, regardless of what job they have. All right. You know what no one's ever said? I can't believe that podcaster did that. No one holds us in such high regard. This is like, a podcaster did

that? Not a podcaster. Those are the people we trust in society. Well, you can't really compare doctors to podcasters, can you? No, obviously not. On the credibility scale, Carl? I mean, obviously not. The access of your chart, though,

is Dr. Steve, just so you know. I will say there is less schooling involved in becoming a podcaster, so maybe that's part of it. Solid point. Let's go to Central Michigan, shall we, Carl? Yes. Before we go there next month for WATPLive.com. There are very few tickets remaining for that. That is definitely going to sell out. WATPLive.com September 15th, Vinnie Paulino

and I will be in Ferndale at the Magic Bag. thanks for including me i i thank you for coming i hope great i'll be there pal great uh also uh subreddit surfing we're opening for you guys right subreddit surfing's doing a whole big live show right before you i thought so but then i found out tuki's gonna be there so let cardiff know that uh tuky's my plot perfect michael lee hub for he's 49, killed one of the two birds he'd been given, uh, that he had given his girlfriend. He gave her a pair of ducks, which was a nice gift. Yep. And, uh, he got very upset. Uh, and they got into an argument following a Stevie Knicks concert. Well, that's going to happen because you're

going to be like, well, is Lanslide the best song? Is the chain the best song? I get into arguments all the time at Stevie Nick concert. So I get it. Yeah. I mean, honestly, everybody that walks out of there is a little upset at the other people they came with. It just, there's something about it that so's disarmony and discord. Now, this caused a lot of problems in this relationship because when Michael E. Humphreys got home, he ripped the head off of the duck. Now, actually, didn't he leave her at the concert and then she, then they started his fight up again the next day, I think it's what happened.

So they were still fucking pissed at each other the next day after the Stevie next concert. Okay, you are correct. He did leave her at the venue and went. home. That's a funny move right there. But he did. Okay, you think the chain's the best song? Then go watch the fucking encore. I'm out of here. The chain sucks. Maybe the landside could drive you home.

Right. He did return to pick her up and take her home, though. The following day, they were still fighting. That's when he went into the barn and ripped the ducks head off with his bare hands. And then threw its carcass into a bucket with its spine hanging out. out, and then he grabbed his girlfriend by the face and forced her to look at what he'd done. And yeah, that's when the police got involved. That's a tough one to respond to.

I don't know that I would have a quick retort for that one. Yeah. Charges for getting some frees include one count of domestic abuse, first-degree torturing of an animal, which carries a 10-year prison sentence. And don't do that to animals. I mean, if you would cook the duck after. and maybe you hadn't have just, like, shoved her face into it, you might have gotten away with the domestic or the animal abuse thing. Sure.

Yeah, you can say you're preparing. I've seen chopped. I know how this works. You rip the head off and then you just shove it in the oven. So I like in this article, the sheriff explains that people who decapitate animals are fucked in the head. Just so you know, people who do this kind of thing, the animals are bad people. I'm like, no, no, we know.

Thank you, though, officer. I'm glad you were telling us this. Thanks for being on top of a. sheriff dude i was watching cops last night do you know the cops is back on tv on fox business news the actual show cops is back in production new new episodes of cops so we were watching it last night it's the greatest show up it's on i fucking love it fox business news yeah fox fox business is playing cops now i don't know why i guess they figure out a place where people can't go to get it canceled right i think what happens is all the people who would be

mad at that have no idea that channel exists So they don't know that it's out there And it's happening right now But what's funny That one thing I've noticed That I'm picking up on All of a sudden All of these cops

Are really mad at what white people are up to I notice the vast majority of crimes That they're cracking down out of these whitties And all their white guy Domestic Violence It's about time We learn our lesson It's right

We've got to know For too long Time for us to learn our lesson All right Let's talk about a beheading that mattered, Carl. Let's go to Las Vegas, shall we? A woman has been charged with murder after allegedly beheading her boyfriend when she claims he tried to force her to perform a sex act on him. Did they ever explain which sex acts he tried to get her to do? I'm suspecting

that she's a woman who doesn't listen and he didn't understand that he wanted head not to be just ahead. Ah, I see what you did there. Yeah. Devin Michaels, 45 was arrested on August 15th after the mother of her boyfriend Jonathan Willett discovered his headless body in his bed the week before. Wow. So I guess no means no in this case. Wow. Yeah, cops found the body was still smoking and smelled of chemicals, believed to be bleach and ammonia. When they entered the room on August 7, the investigation was launched into the grizzly death because his head didn't pull itself off and douse his body and chemicals. Good idea to investigate it. She initially denied the killing, he claimed that she left his home the night of the death.

She later admitted to striking him on the head with a wooden stick after refusing his advances, allegedly saying she only wanted to hospitalize him. Oh, boy, she overshot that one a little bit, huh? She overshot the target on that one. She also claimed, though, that Willett was abusive towards her and alleged that he would have had his, and that he would have his oldest child take showers in front of him. I don't understand that at all.

Well, she's trying to victim blame. She's trying to call Lepito. Now, that is something I understand, of course. And when I read that, I started thinking about it's like, you're going to make your oldest child shower in front of you. Why would you do that? It's like, oh, my oldest child doesn't know how to wash his ass. You got to stand that and tell him to wash his fucking ass.

That's what's going out here. This is a good parent. This is a parent who's telling his kid to fucking clean your fucking taint out. Scrape out the guacamole kid and fucking get it together. This is a good dad, but take it away. This is the uninformed. This is the uninformed banter that I was talking about that we all need in our true crime shows

Making shit up This is why true crime shows are so popular Because we read a story And then we just fill in the gaps Well, I'll tell you what the victim's mother had to say Here's her story She told the police the last time she saw her son Was around 10 p.m. the night before

When he was with his girlfriend And around 1 a.m., she said she saw Michael's downstairs in the kitchen washing dishes So this is one of these old bitches Who stays up all night walking around the house Lurking fucking wonderful to have one of those around. So she's downstairs washing dishes at 1 a.m.

Michaels told her boyfriend's mother that Willett was drunk and had gone to bed, and they planned to leave early the next day to register the kids at school. The mother said she went back upstairs without seeing her son before being woken up around 3 a.m. by the sounds of dogs barking. Well, thinking this unusual, she decided to go back to bed and did not investigate the commotion. After she woke up around 8 a.m., the victim's mother said she found the dogs locked outside her home, and her son's truck parked outside when she went to look for him

she made the nightmarish discovery of his headless body the dogs were trying to get to the body and she had to lock him outside oof police called Martin for questioning she then told them she didn't live with Willett but she did live with him

but they were thinking about moving in together for their children I guess I read that wrong their relationship was complicated and she lived in a little son yeah I'm a big stupid idiot there is a fundraiser to pay for his funeral expenses if you want to they're going to need two caskets one for the head one little one that a regular sized one maybe that's like completely

normal sized did they ever find the head because they couldn't even find the head at first i do not believe what did she do with that they said that uh okay she never admitted to decapitating him she said she hit him on the head with the stick and that she said that he was abusive to her and that he would force his oldest child to shower in front of him. We got that. His alleged behavior escalated on the night of her death. She said he allegedly tried to force her to perform a sex act on him. Now, hold on a sec. Can I just point this out?

Because this is a daily mail article. It fucking sucks. It repeats itself over the place. I got lost in it. I didn't know what the fuck I was reading just like you didn't just now because it's so poorly written. But why are we listening to anything this woman has to say? She's obviously a liar. She fucking decapitated her, her boyfriend and goes, I was just trying to put him in the

hospital as if that's like, oh, okay, well, that we'll let it go. But I don't know why we're even listening to anything she has to say. She's a liar. She said he was laying face down and rubbing her back. She grabbed the wooden stick and struck him on the back of the head. His arms and legs went limp with the force of the impact. But Michael's told police she only meant to hospitalize him for long enough to figure out what to do with her children. I just wanted to knock him out for a couple of days so we could find a new place to live.

Yeah. Honestly, this article is so poorly read. I don't know if there's another version of it somewhere. it doesn't explain how she cut his head off what she did with the head. I don't know if someone's using it the bowling alley right now and they think they're tough shit.

I don't know what's going on. Either way, he's long dead folks. His head is still at large. Losing your head. Yeah, that's a quick one. That's a quick death. Well, I guess it depends on how long it takes

to get the head off. Yeah. I think about it. Some say even when they chop it off quick, you still got a couple seconds of life. Like you still process some shit for a second there. Ladies and gentlemen, that is our show.

Let's catch up. on some superchats before we get out of here, shall we, Carl? Yes, please. Oh, we already got that one. Mike Cut. Mike Cut says $2. FKB.

FKB. Mike Cutts again with $5 before that one. Yeah. FKB. So he came in with $7. FKB. Corn diff. That's up cornediff.

Two bucks FKB. Mike Cuts now comes in with another $10. FKB. And I have to say, I guess there are some issues right now so they had the big meetup in Atlantic City Saturday night

and I have family members there I have to talk to them and find out I have to talk to my family members find out how I want I've seen some photos and things like that but I've been a little bit out of the loop apparently though they were talking about this on Shulay show today

that Bob Levy's not too happy with Kevin at this point so that's the one guy who's been standing by Kevin's side through a lot of the bullshit so we might have we might have a big announcement coming up pretty soon when it comes to what's going on over at Miserables Company.

I'll just tease that. Hmm. When are they going live again today or tomorrow? Yeah, I'll be on, yeah, Miserative Company every Monday of four, sure, every weekday at four. All right, well, FKB. We'll see who's on that show with them.

I guess it's going to be ski masks and Stevie Lou. I don't know who's going to be on there. Now, before we get out of here today, I just need to remind everybody. Everybody go to paypoop.com and vote for my new best buddy, Vinnie Paulino. Thank you, John.

And please do that. Visit the creepoff.com. Where you could find links to all of our bonus episodes. Maybe I'll figure out a fun bonus episode to do this week. I know Carl will be traveling. Who knows? Maybe I'll come up with something good. You never know.

Or I might do nothing. Who fucking knows? I'd be shocked. If I came up for something good, you motherfucker fuckers. Mongo, five bucks. Great show again, boys. Go bills. That's correct, Mango.

go bills that's good gets it uh all right so go to the creepoff dot com for all your links you can subscribe to patreon supercast or backed by

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Please do us favor, hop over to the Creepoff channel, hit subscribe. We truly do appreciate it. It helps us out over there. And until next week, it's nice to be important. Yeah, two more superchats that came in.

They're not letting us leave here, Vinnie. Then let me get back to my vacation. I got a pool that I need to get into right now, but Tiff with five bucks FKB. And Mike cuts another $20 to say FKB. Wow.

Kevin Brennan is not doing this. so many favors lately. Under fire. Yes, thank you. Thank you for the support and FKB. I'm with you guys. All right.

It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia. Vinnie, you're welcome any time. I have to be a lot of the end of what I can become a group. And that's a fact. So, we need to all of you know. Vinnie Paul, you know.

Is she a great boy, boy, I know. Any day or a week, grab some beers, and have a great conversation.