The Creep Off - Episode 184: Let’s Talk About Meth Baby!

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Let’s Talk About Meth Baby!   Today Karl & Vinnie make their nominations for creepiest football coach : This week we watched some code blue cam where we met a guy named Kevin we actually like : This week’s Scum Parade we learn about a college weekend gone way wrong, meet a handsy wedding guest and a children’s pastor who should have known better.  The score is currently Vinnie 4- Karl 3, visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerCheck out the Scum Parade stories: Skaneateles wedding guests tackle drunk groper who threatened people with assault rifle, troopers say - syracuse.comHollywood man accused of torching car of then-girlfriend, who’s also his cousin (local10.com)Minnesota man accused of using college dorm as torture den menaced ex with online messages: authorities (yahoo.com)Youth pastor allegedly tried to kill wife, 5 children before setting home on fire: police | Fox News Want to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! 

You're listening to the Carl Network. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. cuckoo, cuckoo!

podcast, the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinny. And joining me as always, he's my co-host. It's hot Carl. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? Oh, man, I'm just, I'm just strutting today, baby. What a day yesterday.

The dolphins putting up, was the most points scored since the 50s or something like that? Like 60s. Jeez, Louise, buddy. Let's just say the most points in the modern era of football. Yes. 70 points and 726 yards or something like that. Dude, I just want to tell you why Mike McDaniel is the coolest coach in the NFL. Oh, boy, here we go.

He was the Denver Broncos ball boy. Okay. And they wouldn't give him an interview to work for the team back in the day. Oh, this was a revenge fuck. It really was, dude, in a lot of ways. And it was a very classy one because he also didn't, you know, kick that field goal at the end. But nobody gives a shit. If people don't know what we're talking about,

Vinnie's team, the Miami Dolphins won 70 to 20 yesterday against a football team that gave up. They played a Broncos team that decided they didn't give a fuck about playing football yesterday. They just gave up and their coach got some splaining to do for that. That's not good. Have your team give up on you. Let's talk about something that's even more important real quick before we bring in Jess to review our episode for two weeks ago. Well, that sounds important. But go ahead, yeah.

Well, Carl, I would like to know, have you purchased? purchased your jersey. I have purchased my jersey. We'll be arriving in my house on Wednesday. I'm going to the Bills versus Dolphins game this Sunday. One o'clock from Orchard Park. And you will be wearing a Miami Dolphins. Tyree Kiljurzy. I will have my jersey. Now, I didn't get a Hill jersey. I decided to pivot. But it is a, it is a Dolphins jersey. And I think you'll, I think you'll be impressed. I'll be impressed. I think you'll love it. Did you know Fat Fuck Vee? I'm having a hard. time trusted you right now. That fuck video's a lot of letters to fit on the back of a jersey barely could do it ahead of like gets it to curve around and shit. They won't make that one. That won't happen. They can't make it. I know people. No, you don't. That's a good point. You have no friends. That's a good point. You have me and Chris. Making some points out. And barely Andy. Now he's running out on his own. Now, Carl. Yes, sir. I would also like to find out if you have anything you

would like to say to the listeners that maybe our friend trucker Andy could use on his show. Well, you think I need to apologize for something? What did I do? Well, last week, your boy, Vinnie, did get to creep off roast out after a year. Ah, yes, you did. Thank you for getting that put out for us, Vinny. Congratulations on that. And...

It's almost like you should have done it in the first place. And... I'm very sorry. I told... I said this. I'm very sorry I didn't get around to making it and getting it done. People were anxious to see it. And then I started watching it. I went, who wants to watch this?

but no it's great thanks for that you gotta get through the first five minutes of McBride stumbling over the place then it gets really good I believe you said on the bonus episode Brian McBride's Chad Zumach imitation yeah he really zoomocked that roast starting off but then it gets good

then it's worth watching so if you want to watch the roast of Carlin Vinnie from last year in which we had Pat Dixon was on there Cardiff before Cardiff was a potato was on there Tucker Dixon failed miserably You can watch that by supporting us on Patreon, Supercast, and back to bot by. I do believe we are shadow band on these platforms.

Like, I'm Shadow Band on Twitter now. So you really do have to go to do this. Thecreepoff.com. There's a link to all of the things. You can get the bonus content. We do bonus shows. We just did one last week. There was another really fun episode.

Got a little crazy at the end, but it was a lot of fun up to that point. Well, thank you for that. raving review of our bonus content, Carl. It's fun. We do it once a week now. Thank you. I said thank you. And they're fun episodes. You know, just because you're never sincere doesn't mean I can't be. I'm being sincere. What the fuck? But am I too sarcastic? Because you might have a problem with sarcasm. When my wife and I first started dating, that was her biggest complaint. She's like, I don't know when you're being serious ever. Good. Keep you on your toes. More than the hook penis?

More than the hook penis. Yeah, that was a bigger problem. Go figure. Some girls like it. She's a hell of a lady. She sure is. All right. Let's bring in our results, girl, to tell us who won two weeks ago when we did the creepiest person from Detroit?

That's right. Creepiest Detroiter. Hello. Hey, Jess. Good to see you. How's the construction on the house going? Good. I told you before we started, they like cut off the Wi-Fi for a second.

I'm like, oh. That makes sense. Whenever you're getting your kitchen done, you've got to turn off the internet. Yeah, of course. Unless we're getting a smart fridge or not. How much longer is it going to take for you to get this kitchen done? Because it's always longer than you think it's going to be. Well, it's my mom's dream kitchen.

So it's going to be middle of October. Jesus. All right. All right. Well, that's coming up, I guess. A couple weeks. It's looking good. It's looking good.

Nice. All right. So I'm on pins and the needles. Who won? Okay. It was 109 to 60. So 64%. Wow.

The winner was. Carl I want to thank all the cussarous out there for coming up and supporting your boy, keeping this a game, keeping Vinnie on us, it's four to three now. So we're still on game point, but I'm making a comeback. All right. Were there any comments or anything we need to know about that were happening in regards to this episode

Jessica I looked online no one left any comments but people were saying they plan on going to Detroit or they wanted to go to Detroit to where you guys were at

so that was from last week I was going to say is it because of the people we presented they wanted to go meet them or something I'm confused why I would want to go to Detroit yeah unless Drew Lane's hanging out with you

you don't want to go to Detroit yes you have good friends there Someone said they're a fan of Drew Lane over Yeah Someone said I've been a fan of Drew Lane over two, possibly three decades Yeah, Drew's been a legend in Detroit for a very long time Nobody told me there was going to be boasted And then let's not forget Drew's buddy Matt Riley

That guy's a trip, huh? Matt's the man That guy's out of control and he rules That guy rules So as long as you know Drew and Matt You can do some fun things out there in Detroit Yeah, you could get shots anywhere in Detroit in Detroit. If you don't bat.

No shit. Any time a day or night. He just does like the... He's just, yep, he's got the shots. All right. Well, I guess we should announce what our category is for this week. And thank Jessica for joining us again. Hey, maybe Jessica can read some super chats for us. Oh, sure.

Let's put her to work here. Let's make her earn her check. Well, Carl got a new member on his... Hey, thank you, double guns. Double guns. Fuck yeah. We got to shoot double of something. No. So dang

lizard, five euros. Yes. A vote for Vinnie is a vote for Stuttering John. Hashtag Vinnie Spinning. Oh, the people are turning on you because of your friendship with Suttering John. That's interesting. Who could have seen that coming except for everyone? Who cares?

He's just doing a comedy show. He's just doing a comedy show. What the fuck do you care? Judas. Who cares? Uncle Sammy Poole. 499. Ola Creepos. What's us?

I am I am before. In before. In before? Yep. I grew up with this language. Just you should want to read this shit. I grew up where people used English to type. Now it's all this shit.

You don't know it? Come on. No. All right. Go on. Carl complains about snitching. Vinny is still talking about his creep even after presenting ends. Skoll.

Skoll. Yes. very good. I like doing having Jessica read these. We got to do this more. This is a new segment of the show, I think. Can we bring her back at the ad too? Yeah. Be ready to go at the ad. Okay. Oh, no. Cam Critical 499. You missed the great opportunity to make Carl wear

a Hernandez jersey at the Pats game. Yeah, Vinnie. That's what you should have done. Instead, you're all like, oh, the Miami Dolphins are the best team in the world. They're going to win the Super Bowl. Whopo-doo-doo. It's embarrassing. Laff it off until they do, motherfucker. It's embarrassing. Carl, what's going to be embarrassing is having all of your fellow Bill's fans throwing shit at you all game on Sunday. It's not going to be good. It's not going to be a tough game.

Yeah, enjoy. On Sunday. Enjoy. Keep your shit talk up. All right, buddy. All right. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Jess.

Good to see you. Yep. She's great. At Jess Daydreaming on social media. Yes. Carl, today's category, we're sticking with the football. I let you pick. I gave you a couple options that were out there.

and you picked creepiest football coach. I sure did, Vinnie. And since you won, that means you get to go first. And I would like to present to you Craig Wood. What are we watching right now? What is this? Don't worry about it, pal again. No, man, I'm just trying to get you all.

So I'm going to present to you Craig Wood. And we're going to start off. This is a high school coach from Springfield, Missouri, who in February of 2014 had an interesting, afternoon and evening and we're going to start off with my track number one we're going to go through these in order here this is where the pickup truck pulled up the driver actually stopped turned around and then took off with haley owens this is the growing pile of flowers and other gifts left outside of this home here the person charged with taking haley worked at a school on the

other side of springfield he was supposed to coach middle school football and basketball this year. Court records show he had a minor past criminal history, a conviction charge for possession of marijuana more than 20 years ago, and an illegal hunting conviction. Neighbors tell me he never interacted with them. They would hear him occasionally practicing with his band at the home, and it's the home where police say he killed Haley Owens. All right. So this guy who's got his shitty bluegrass band playing in the garage that his neighbors have to hear, that's not the worst part. That's not the worst part about Craig. That's not great. It's not great. I don't like it. I don't like it.

But so Craig one afternoon decides, you know what? I bet I can go pick me up a 10-year-old girl from the neighborhood and bring her back to my place. And so he goes ahead and at 5 p.m., still daylight, snatches up our victim here, Haley. And because it was daylight and she's in the neighborhood, a lot of people saw him do it. In fact, my track number two is Carlos Edwards, who ran after him and almost got to. to him when this happened. I spoke with Carlos Edwards who witnessed Haley's abduction. He said he saw Haley get pulled into the truck, but he couldn't get there fast enough. As soon as I saw him open this door, that's when I jumped into action. And before I could get to him, I was close. He took

off with his door when I was so close and just couldn't catch him on foot. That was my first reaction just to run off the truck. All right. Good try, buddy. Yeah, guess who didn't make the team? Yep. He gets to get a little faster there. Well, the good news is, When we play my track three and then I'll reveal what happened, but they, fortunately, they did get the license plate number. They did get the license plate number of the truck. Wood was allegedly driving. The fact that people were paying attention and actually tried to stop the abduction from the reports I've read took action, is to be commended. Police are processing multiple crime scenes, including looking for clues in the neighborhood where Haley was taken. They're scouring Wood's house for answers too.

Okay. You don't have to look at the neighborhood where she was taken. You just have to go to look at Woods House because Haley's body was found in Craig Michael Woods home in Springfield. It was inside two garbage bags with plastic storage containers in the basement of the house. She had been raped and shot in the back of the head. There were marks on her wrist indicating that at some point she had been tied up. There is video footage of wood disposing of Haley's clothing in a dumpster. There's also footage of him buying two bottles of bleach and liquid plumber on two seats. separate trip. So the guy's going out to grocery stores. He's going to dumpsters. He was seen at

the laundromat, washing blankets. He's buying bleach. He goes back. He's like, I'm going to need a liquid plumber too, because this thing is not going down the drain. It's liquid plumber. He's doing everything he can to try to cover this up. So now we've got to talk to the mom. The next day, the mom is very upset that her 10-year-old daughter was abducted from the neighborhood and taken to this guy's house to be raped and murdered. You don't say she was bothered? by that? She's a little upset about it. Okay. Well, well, hold on, though. Before you play by track four, there's a really bad edit in here from the local news. I just want you to listen for it and pick up on it. This is not a good edit.

All right. Tuesday was just like any other day. Haley was meeting a friend when detectives say 45-year-old Craig Michael Wood attacked her. She laughed all the time. Stacey remembers Haley as always laughing, smiling, and willing to lend a hand. Why are the people out there like that that a question this mother doesn't have an answer for as she grieves the loss of her little girl i know there's people out there like that but why do they go after little kids okay first off this is horrifying the poor mom there being interviewed by the the news uh vote for carl but did you pick up on that edit in there i was trying to hear okay play it again from the beginning it's it's pretty early on in here tuesday was just like any other day haley was meeting a friend when

detectives say 45 year old Craig Michael would attacked her She laughed all the time Stacey remember They go Craig Michael would attack her

She laughed the whole time That's not the point That's not the time To say I'm talking about her laughing That's not when you splice that in That's not that's a bad edit point Right there local news Whoopsie

They don't pay those people much No I guess not They really don't Or something Oh that is so funny Don't put that one of your real She laughed all the time All right

So he took the stand in his own trial. Oh, no. Many and revealed something by track five. Well, Steve, Lisa, it was definitely unexpected when Craig Wood took the stand today. And it was even more unexpected when he told the court that he was under the influence of methamphetamine whenever Haley Owens was abducted. He also told the court he had a few beers. Opsie. Okay, well, so the guy was doing some meth, drinking some beers.

Uh-oh. Carl got a little excited Matt, baby, let's talk about yes, sir, re, let's talk about all the bad things and the bad things meth and see, let's talk about meth. I can't think of a worse PR campaign than the PR campaign

are on meth, and yet it seems like more and more people are enjoying it every day. Yeah, I mean, haven't you ever smoked bath and then just wanted to kick back with a couple of beers? No, I always want a child die. I was going to rape a child when I'm on meth. That's why I don't do it. It just seems like a really bad idea. I just don't understand who's just like, yeah, I've heard some

good things about doing meth. Yeah, that seems like a pretty good idea. I used to be freaked out back when they just had the faces of meth stuff that they would show you all the people, like five years before than five years after they're missing out their teeth, their skins falling off. It looks like that looks bad. Fucking Raiders of the Lost Ark. Yeah, it's right like the Nazis at the end.

So that's why, like, years ago, I was just like, I'm not going to do meth. That looks like a bad idea. But now it's just getting worse and worse of the shit that's going on. So apparently, Craig, they brought him in for questioning that night. And he confessed, but it got a little weird by track number six here. Now, with hope that Haley Owens was still alive, detectives testified they used different tactics to get Craig Wood to talk. Now, when Craig's dad was brought up, detectives say Craig got emotional. His lips started to quiver.

Now, after Craig requested a short break, detectives say that's when he told them where Haley's body was, wrapped up in the trash bags and a plastic tote in his tub in the basement of his home. Now, Wood's attorneys are arguing what statement should not be used at trials since it happened after he asked for a lawyer. Now, obviously, this day, a tough day and emotional day for Haley Owens' family. Both her mom and stepdad were in the court wearing her favorite colors, pink and purple. Okay. I'm sorry.

What the fuck is purple? What the fuck is purple? Well, right. She did mispronounce. I love that they're wearing her favorite colors. Whatever. Who cares? Whatever that means.

The church bells. Someone have a fucking megaphone on those? or something. Holy shit. Maybe wait a second to go live. That got very loud at that specific moment. You think I need a fucking producer. So how funny is that? The guy asked for his lawyer and then they're like, okay, and then they're talking a bit more. He's like, by the way,

you can find the body. It's in my basement. It's rash up and the stuff. It's like, you can't use that. Okay, it doesn't matter. They found the body. It doesn't matter if you could use that or not. Yeah, go down to my basement and if you see the meth pipe, look for the box that's next to it. Yes. That's where she is.

Look for a couple empties on the floor. This is not great because police found over a dozen firearms in his home as well as child pornography. While searching a bedroom dresser in Wood's home, they discovered stories about sexual fantasies. Two of these handwritten stories involved girls aged 13. They also found four pictures of young female students who attended the school where Wood had been employed. Uh-oh. And now ready for the twist? Because this ended up happening years after this incident.

So you just heard about the mother and father being in court wearing her colors in support. Yeah. Well, the father is actually a stepfather. Track 7. Check this out. The stepfather of Haley Owens will spend seven years behind bars now and serve another 10 years probation. 40-year-old Jeffrey Barfield was sentenced today for federal child pornography charges. He pleaded guilty to sharing explicit images of underage girls online earlier this year. Federal prosecutors asked for 12 years in prison.

due to the nature of the crime, calling it disturbing. They argued that Barfield is a danger to the community and victimized a substantial number of children and knowingly posted images of child porn. So this is the crazy part to me, Vennie, because could it be this guy's posting photos of his own stepdaughter, this other guy's downloading that, one day he's out for a drive, he's high on mother,

he's like, hey, there's that bitch I was jerking off to last week. Holy shit! She's right there! Snags her up, brings her home. him, rapes her, shoots her in the back of the head, and this guy's going around with a pin of his daughter on his coat right there. This guy... That's bizarre, right? Okay, so here's what I'm trying to understand.

Which one of these guys is your creep? Well, the creep is obviously Craig Wood. Okay, and he coached football where? He coached football at the middle school, at Pleasant View Middle School. Okay, Jesus Christ. He worked 16 years at that middle school, actually. So listen to this, Vinny, because... The Amber Alert went out, and they had the license plate number.

But the time it took between getting the Amber Alert out and the license number and the police actually going and investigating the house, she was raped and murdered. This could have happened very quickly. So, in fact, because of that, Haley Owens family, joined by the family of Craig Wood, advocated for Haley's law, which would consolidate the system in which an Amber Alert is issued, allowing an alert to be issued faster by local police. After almost five and a half years, the law was passed in 2019 and signed by Governor Mike Parsons, going into effect, August 28, 2019.

So this actually inspired legislation that became, what's it, Haley's Law. Vote for Carl, the creepop.com. What do you got for us? Okay, Carl, great presentation. You have your backup against the wall, so you brought a pito, you're playing with my playbook. And, you know, I called Jerry Sandusky yesterday when we were talking. You did. You did.

I had all my friends that were watching the Bills game, and I go, oh, guess who Vinny pulled Jerry Sandusky? I texted you back, go deep bowl. And then I decided, you know what? Pivot. Pivot. Smart move. Pivot.

Because Sandusky, we're bored of that. Plus, I don't think he ever did anything wrong. Okay. You are listening. Okay, good. Trying to make sure this thing was on. All right, good. Dude, we know we should do...

It's odd, buddy. It's odd. We should do for the Hall of Fame episode. What's that? It's played the interview he did with, was it L. Michaels? He did an interview with one of the... the football commentators in which he was talking

about how much he likes children and enjoys being around children. And I can't remember with Al Michaels or really just like, okay, Jerry, you sure you want to say that right now? He's like, no, I love children. I love, you know, and it was just really creepy and weird. It was before he was convicted. I honestly... You don't remember that?

No, I don't remember. See that. It's fun. Hey, listen, we're doing a bonus on Friday. Okay, yeah, maybe I'll pull it for that. Yeah, and by the way, folks, I'm going to be putting up the your chance to nominate a Hall of Famer. Oh, great. For next month. It's, uh, we're going to do a Hall of Fame one in October. Very good. So, uh, my creep today, his name is Joseph Clinton Mills. Now, Mills was the coach

for the Lakeland Volunteers program down in Lakeland, Florida, Carl. Uh-oh, Florida. Yeah. Uh-oh. Here we go. Oh, boy. Why do you're going to be it Come here to be it Come on for a lot of corner Carl He coached pop Warner style football for kids Now he had a young man on his team

named Tim Slayton. Okay. And Tim was 12, and his dad was M-I-A. And his mom seemed to be struggling. And on the first day of practice, which was September 3rd, 1981, Tim didn't have a ride home. Oh, poor Tim. So Coach Joe decided to give Tim a ride home because he knew he needed one. And when he got to the house, his mom, Linda, waved out the window.

Adam, he waved back at her and dropped off a son and they never really met, but he left. Great story. Okay. All right. We have any voicemails? Oh. The next morning, September 4th, 1981 at about 8.30 in the morning, the Lakeland Police were called to that same apartment where Little Tim was dropped off at. They were alerted by a guy who worked for the housing authority there, who was alerted by the sister of Linda, the aunt of Tim, who went by to pick her up to go get coffee and when she got there there was no answer at the door

and she walked around the side of the place and she noticed that the screen was missing from the bedroom window and she looked in and there was her dead sister blood all over the place laying in the middle of the floor now when the officers

Oh hold on a second I bet that's something to do with the missing screen oh yeah yeah I'm just telling you what they came into they found that she was strangled to death with a wire hanger that was twisted around her neck like a garot. You're supposed to kill people with that before they're born. Yeah.

And not after. This is against federal law. I'm pretty sure at this point. Her dress was pulled down from the top, up from the bottom exposing all of her female good parts. Her underwear and shoes were on the rug below her feet. And detectives say she was dripping blood from her vagina. Ew. Now, according to her reports, her children...

So she was on the rag, too? She must have been really annoying to kill. No, no, it was because somebody jammed a bunch of stuff up there, like foreign objects, by God. And the two kids, Jeffrey Slayton, who was 15 at the time and Timothy, were sleeping in the next room when the police got there, and the cops got to give them the good news. Now, during the interview with detectives, Jeffrey said the family had moved in the apartment about two weeks prior to the mom's death. There were no suspects. They had no idea who could have done this. now I mean all of Florida

I would think I know they're like Every single person he lives in Florida Single mom got murdered Yeah Do we talk to Gary yet Do we call Gary? I mean Jesus But the cops are questioning everybody

They questioned Joe They asked him hey did you know her I know that you're the kid's football coach And he said I just waved at her the one time And that was part of the story you were telling Yeah Yeah that's what he told the cops Yeah

And he said he was absolutely heartbroken for those boys That's so sad And for years after that Carl Joe Mills was like a father to those boys He drove him to and from school He took care of him That's awesome And Tim said later

Even though they did eventually in life lose touch He only kept two pictures from his old house Carl One of them was a picture of his mother And the other was this A picture of his football coach Joe Mills and him Around the time that his mom passed away All right the creepop.com

Is we want to go to vote No Carl I'm not done yet So here was the thing. For decades, this case was a cold case. No one had any idea what was going on until a bunch of looky-lose started playing around with that DNA evidence. Oh, I hate that. And all those people were so anxious to find out what percentage of what they were. And they got a little fun stocking stuff for from family. And DNA got better. DNA tested got better. And they started retesting samples. This guy had put his DNA into some type of commercial DNA testing. Did he really? Yep.

I'm sorry, but after you're rape and kill someone. You don't ever do that from all the DNA stuff. What are you doing? So the police start doing the check between the two databases. And in 2019, 38 years later, they concluded that the old football coach was the guy who did it. Now, Carl, she. They also wanted to make sure So they went and got fresh DNA from this guy They went through his trash Okay They go through his trash They got two cotton swaps

I guess I heard how DNA works Have to get fresh DNA Two colostomy bags A plastic spoon Wait how old is he's shitting in a bag Apparently How old is this guy I don't know old enough to shit in a bag

Oh no Now it's depressing By December 12th he's being arrested for murder They start reading him as Moran under rights uh he claims he came up with a a different story than his original story when he was questioned by the police police cardiff um what show do you think you're doing right now i just looked at the wrong thing i just looked at the wrong thing i saw the card of victim blame thing and i was going to hit the jingle but i meant to hit this one baby you're dead

i'm a blame me all on you you got rape And you should have been more careful. Well, let me tell you the story that the old coach gave the cops, Carl. Yeah. He said, listen, I dropped him off that night and she came out to the car. And she said to me, hey, Joe, you're looking pretty good tonight. Why did you come back to the house, you know? And then he said, for, lick, lick my balls.

Ha ha ha, ha, yeah. For what Joe called a good time. Nice. So instead of going through the front door, Joe, when you're an invited guest, he went back to the house at about 3 a.m. It's called role playing, Vinny. You got to get a little adventurous sometimes.

And he went through the unlocked bedroom window, he said. So, okay. Then he claimed that Slayton asked him to engage in wild sex. Yeah, how yeah, she did. Single mom, let's go. And that Mills stated that upon entering her bedroom, she already had the wire hanger around her neck. She's into that, sure.

Yeah. Makes sense. And she laid on the bed. She had the wire hanger on her neck, and she had him tighter and tighter, well engaging in sexual intercourse with her until she lost consciousness. So, in essence, what happened here is she killed herself during sex. Well, that's retarded. No, Carl.

Because none of that, none of the crime seem evidence pointed to a consensual encounter. No, certainly did not. Not from what you told me. No, not at all. And, longs are short, he hate fucked this little boy's mother to death. And that picked him up for football practice the next day. And he only met her the one fucking time when she waved at him. So people, that's why Pencil's heavy racers, as your buddy said,

John likes to say, people make mistakes. That was 38 years ago. Can we all just get over it and move on with our lives? Yeah. What are we going to do? We're going to dwell on this story for how much longer? Another 38 years? Well, look at this poor little kid in the face.

This little scamp is standing there next to the guy who hate fucked his mother to death. The real tragedy is that this coach didn't get him to be a D1 player. Did they ever play D1 or pro ball? Do you think he's a good coach? He probably is a great coach. I guess not. I guess not, Vinny. He's, of course, a bad coach, Carl.

He's raping players' mothers to that. Well, you should have led with that. He's a bad college or football coach. Yeah. So either way, he played guilty to avoid the death penalty and he's rotten in jail for the rest of his life. All right. the creepoff.com and vote for Vinny this week. What do you say, guys? How about it? All right. Vinny, let's check out the superchats that have been coming in. We appreciate the support on here. You guys are awesome.

Yay, super chats. This one from 606, five pounds. Vinnie can't wear a tie in a belt on the same day for fear of turning into sausages. That's worth five pounds. That's really funny. I like it. Okay. And then Uncle Sammy Pooh, five. bucks the dolphins and the bills suck peckos go cowboys i actually don't care of my football i just wanted to get you all riled up yeah go cowboys great game yesterday guys the cowboys god damn i picked the right trying to put deck prescott as my quarterback didn't they jesus christ what they doing uh dad let's talk about meth baby you got it buddy two bucks uncle sapu two bucks your honor i don't drink that much. Joe

Higachi, two bucks. The redneck James Corden. No thanks. Who's he calling Redneck James Corden? I'm not sure.

Dang Lizard. Deng Lizard's photo is getting fun. Yeah, certainly is. Two euros. I thought that was Tommy. Vinny Spinney, the S.J.

Cuck, the wire hanger, banger. I don't know what you want me to tell you that. You are at S.J. Cuck. We know that. Yay.

Remember Miles. Stone, Kenneth Pogue, F-S-J-F-K-B. Love it. So what? I'm going to have to put up with all of this hate now. I'm going to have to put up all of this hate because I let John have a show. Okay, guys. Because you guys are best friends.

And some people are thinking that John's not a great guy and they're wondering why you know how to be friends with them. Well, I'm good friends with you and you're definitely not a great guy. That's what I tell them, too, when they say that, they're like, why is he friends with John? Why is he friends with me? I don't know. Yeah, I have problems, okay? That's the answer. I have problems.

You think Vinny's got a giant list of people who want to be his friend? There's just a few of us. I take what I can get. He's a desperate man. It would be very lonely for work for me and John. Yeah. All right, Vinny. I just wish my two best friends would get along.

I have a fun treat. Oh, yeah, maybe you can be our mutual friend. I'm going to fucking dinner or something. I'm going to parent trap you. I'm going to do something to get you guys together. Oh, that's a good idea. I hope he's not sniping us right now he'll be very upset with that idea

Oh I just want peace I just want peace in the dabble verse Carl There will be no peace in the dabble verse As long as I'm in it Yeah I promise you that It's like an apocalyptic

Fucking hellscape It really is Vinnie Yeah I have brought a treat for us today Nice In lieu of a Who Are these creepo segment

I am bringing to you The uh What's it called blue light cam Code blue cam Code Blue, thank you. And this one came in from a listener who actually went to our show in Detroit. Nice. And here, I said, good evening, Carl.

I had a good time at the live show last weekend. A great Code Blue Cam video came out earlier this month. I don't want to spoil it, but it is a fun one. So I brought some clips from this video. A cop is on his way to work when this guy, Kevin, gets agitated at his driving and speeds past him. And then cuts him off. and then they get stopped at a light and this guy gets out of his car

and starts walking over towards this off-duty sergeant now the sergeant's on his way to work this guy doesn't know he's a cop he's just annoyed he's got the road rage going and they actually have footage of this happening because it happens to be a surveillance camera nearby store so yeah

let's check out first track here CB1 car while trying to pass in the left turn lane the off-duty sergeant was blocked the agitated driver later identified as a 39-year-old male named Kevin soon exited his vehicle and approached the sergeant

You're an idiot! Why are you driving like that? The sergeant drew his firearm without aiming. Kevin briefly backed off, then returned with a concealed hand, prompting the sergeant to now point his firearm. Kevin flipped him off and went back inside his vehicle.

He eventually started following the sergeant's vehicle and called 911, claiming the firearm was aimed. Okay, so this guy's like, oh, he just pulled a gun on me. I'm going to get him in so much trouble. First, he was driving slow, and then he pulled a gun on me, and I'm going to tow on him. So he calls 911, and he says, I'm following this car right now, and the guy just pulled a gun on me,

and I want you to get him in trouble. So police are dispatched, and the police go ahead. Someone pulling the gun's generally a good reason to call 911, though. Sure. You're going to find out. This is the bitchest way to do it, though, because this guy started the problem. All right. Well, you're going to find out that maybe that wasn't a good move on his part.

So. Okay. They find him, and they pull him over. And he's going, no, it's that car. He's pointing out the way. He's going, no, no, not me, that car. And they're pulling him over. She goes, fuck this.

And he just leaves, even though the police are pulling him over. He leaves and follows this guy all the way to his job. All the other cops are, too. So they get into the parking lot here. Oh, no. Yeah. Here we go. And, yeah, that's good.

Keep it rolling in. Oh, this sounds good to go out. Until I figure out that everybody is safe, I can't get into the hole. What happened? What did this? Why do you think I was chasing him? Because my phone's still going with the 911 dispatcher. It feels like he's got a meth pipe in his great pants pocket.

Yeah, I've probably got meth. Yeah, yeah, I got meth. Why are you calling 911 if you drive around with meth? Let's talk about math and C. Let's talk about mystery. Let's talk about all the bad things and the bad things, meth and see. Let's talk about meth. So Kevin then decides.

Kevin is one of these guys like delete laws who knows the law so well. and he tells them, I'm the one who called 911, so you can't even bust me for that meth pipe because you would not have found it if it weren't for me calling 911 on a guy who pulled a gun on me. It's double jeopardy. Nope, that's not what it is, but he's convinced that he cannot be busted for this.

I'm not sure that's how it works, but that's what he says. So my track number three, you can see that now Kevin's getting very anxious wants to talk to his attorney. I would like to read you, okay, that's what I was getting to. Good. Put him in the car.

Put him in the car. I want you in the car, please. Just for now, we can take you in a second. Can you please send the car for me? That's all my asking. Are you guys? You can take a seat like that. Let's take a seat like that.

While speaking with Kevin, a strong odor of intoxicants was emitting from his person. What? You're going to go open? I couldn't let it's go open. I'll turn into a circus real quick. So this guy is very confused. He's the one of called him. He had a gun pulled on him.

He's going, I don't know what's going. going on here? Why am I getting arrested? What did I do wrong? And they're like, sir, we're just trying to sort it out. You can just like realize, like, oh, okay. And then he's got meth. And then he smells like booze and he's having a panic attack. Well, after that, Vinny, all of a sudden something changes in him. And he starts getting real cocky. And he realizes that he's got the upper head. Now, you would think in this situation, his hand come to the back of a police car. He does not have the upper head. But you would be wrong, sir. He has the upper hand.

I said this on the bonus episode the other day. Once they get in the back of the cop car is when funniest shit starts to happen every time it's amazing let it roll here we go you know your rookies aren't going to have your badge in a week right right you guys can't search that vehicle you know that right i called me an emergency response and i'm in trouble my lawyer is going to eat you guys his ass out okay let me a phone call i want my lawyer right now before you guys even touch that vehicle i want my lawyer right now you know i'm right i want a lawyer all right i'm done talking just so you know i will call i will subpoena the 911 dispatcher saying i called in you guys arrested me for a gun being pointed at me just you know put your leg back there's fine just you guys just you guys

All right. So he's just warning them. He's going to have their badges. Just see you guys know, I'm going to get you in a lot of trouble. You're fucking up. Not a good tactic. What they hear all day. It's not a good tactic.

Every day. So this guy can't stop running his mouth. He just keeps yelling at the officers. He admits that he's drinking at one point. The cop goes, oh, you've been drinking? He's like, oh, yeah, yeah. What? This is a morning commute that we're talking about here.

And the guy is admitting that he's drinking. This is what time in the morning? The guy was on his way into work. He's on his way into work, yes, the morning commute. 8 a.m. 7. 30 a.m. Yeah. So the guy admits that he's been drinking. And so then the cop, as they're having this back and forth, admits that it was an off-duty police officer who pointed the gun.

So now Kevin is like, oh, I fucking knew it. You guys are just sticking up for your buddy. I'm going to have all of you get your badges taken from you. He gets very excited with this news. My next set track here. Number five. Oh, right. You just admitted that it was an off-duty police officer.

To the fucking truck, let's go to court. He pointed a gun on me, the recording is there, told the fucking truck. Okay, I'm done explaining it to you. I don't want to hear it anymore. I want a lawyer, told the fucking truck. You want the window down because of your claustophobia, though? No, you can suck my dick now. You don't want the window down?

No, it's up now. After conducting a records check, it was revealed that his driving status was suspended. Subsequently, an officer conducted a canine sniff on Kevin's vehicle, resulting in a positive alert. Okay, so now... Now that's called probable cause. You notice how he's yelling tow the truck? Yeah.

He's going, I want my lawyer, tow the truck. He does not want them searching this truck, obviously. And he believes they don't have the right to search his truck. Well, apparently he's wrong, because they found 71 grams of weed. Now, that sounds like a lot to me. There was a time when I used to sell marijuana. And that's the amount of marijuana I would have on me because I was selling it. I wouldn't have that on myself for,

personal use. So are you telling me that you think that this guy with the meth pipe who's drunk at 730 might be dealing drugs? Maybe. It just seems like a lot. So he goes, all right, there's some weed in there. You guys are going to find some weed. And then they find open container. He's drinking a twisted tea, a Mike's twisted tea. Oh, and he's a douche. Perfect. So they find the open container. This is the guy calling 911, getting out of his car, threatening people. It's got some beer muscles going, I guess. And he's very upset that they searched his vehicle without a lawyer present. like, sir, we never have a lawyer here while we're searching a vehicle. It's not, it's not a thing.

But he continues to argue with them about the law. He still thinks he's going to take down the entire police force. My track number six here. Why are you being rude to me? I got a gun pulled on me and I'm f***ing hant off because it was one of your buddies. Make a record, I want all subpoenas. Every report subpoenaed. All of your guys is body cans, too.

You know I have a lot of money, right? Got a f*** a ton of money. That's awesome. My lawyers is going to tear your guys apart. You're probably not going to ever be on the force again, just so you know. And if you dow me, wait until tomorrow. Sounds good. He was then transported to the police department to perform standardized field sobriety tests.

All right, Kevin, you're going to cooperate if I take any handcuffs and everything? Okay, perfect. Are you going to search my record yet? Nope. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this wife just to get off the car like this. Okay, couple of quick questions. Do you have any problems in your eyes at all?

Yeah. What's wrong with them? I'm drunk. You're drunk? Okay. So they bring him in for field sobriety, and he's just like, yeah, yeah, I'm not going to pass this. I'm really drunk. I also love the fact that he's telling the cab.

He's like, I got a ton of money. You're going down. He's like, okay, man, cool. Sounds good. Says the drug driver in the cuffs. Right, yeah. Probably not going to go great for you. So this guy does not want to do the field sobriety.

He keeps telling him like, oh, sir, I'm telling you I'm drunk. Can you just give me the breathalizer? We just prove it. The guy's like, no, I got to go through this procedure. He's him making him follow his finger and stuff. He does, uh, my boy Kevin here does get a laugh. My next track here. Can we keep going?

No, just put your feet together. hands on the outside. We're going to finish the eyesets, okay? Yo, can see my finger okay? No, I'm drunk. I know. All right, just follow it up my finger, okay? So if I say, no, I'm drunk, you? I say I follow that mother, yeah. Can't you do the pen or something? That's more interesting. I don't use pens. I just use my finger. Okay.

That's what she said. Don't laugh. Joshua laughed. Ready? He's all problem himself with it. That's what she said. Home run, Kevin. Home run. So now at this point, this guy is predicting what he's going to blow. And he's going, oh, I'm definitely. a point two. I know. I'm definitely at least a point two. I'll blow any one to you to get out of this,

huh? He's into it now. So this is my eighth track on here. A two, two, two three, I say. Okay. A record's three nine just a new. That's pretty high. I've seen a bit higher in lacrosse though. Are you from lacrosse? No. Kevin took the preliminary breath test, which resulted in zero point one six five. All right, can you grab the straw at you on there? Yeah, what is it? It's got to be the twos. 165. Not too high. All right.

He's all mad. God damn it. I was pounding those fucking twisted dees. My lawyer's going to laugh at me now. Just a point 165, just twice the limit. You call me with a 0.165. You pussy. How funny is that?

The guy wanted it to be higher. He's disappointed in himself. Oh, man. So now he starts making demands. I kind of like him now. He's in the back. Oh, I know. This guy's great.

He's in the back of the cop car. and he's going to start making uh making demands to the police officer all right there's cameras on that light too you guys are all taking me to jail right now come on let's go relax get me to jail come on we're not going to jail yet

why i want to go to jail let's go i want to talk to my lawyer you're holding me against my will let's go you piece of shit you think you do a talk screen on your deputy that bullet gun you know what this is the only time i wish i was black because he would have shot me you guys would all be

you should look up how many cases have off on my own without a lawyer. Can I have a smoke oil already in, please? I've been cooperative. Maybe I'll let my lawyer be nice to your deputy. Well, you can just make this all go away. Can't smoke in my squad anyways. I'm not trying to smoke your squash. So nobody's talking to you. Well, I'm not gonna let somebody smoke that says that to me, so. I don't give a f***ing you. You don't think I'm not having my girlfriend call the Fri-News company, right? All your body cans are getting get subpoenaed, because I'm gonna pay at least $25,000 to my fire. You know why? Because I can't have one more thing on my record.

You guys would have better off shooting an air. Seriously. I'm an upstanding citizen. What? Can you hear me okay? What? Informing the accused form. I want my lawyer here before you read that to me.

No, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. Somebody pointed a gun on me. Shut the fuck up! Or you are suspected of driving or being on... I can't wait until I see on the f***ers. I'm gonna beat the f*** out of you. Oh, just tell your wife to get her shit in my house and leave me alone.

Oh! He tells the cop you're gonna beat the shit out of him when he sees him out and then he also says, tell your wife to get her stuff out of my house. Holy shit. Oh, oh, Kevin, Kevin. Fire. This guy's fired up. Holy shit. So I'll just, we'll wrap it up with the bow here.

This is my last track to see what happened to this guy. Love it. Kevin was charged with felony battery threat to an officer. Misdemeanor counts of possession of THC, possession of drug paraphernalia, and disorderly conduct. He also received several traffic citations, including OWI, first offense. Kevin was eventually found guilty of battery threat to an officer. All his misdemeanor charges were dismissed, but read in. On top of that, his traffic citations were dismissed on the prosecutor's motion, except for the OWI.

Ultimately, his sentence was withheld and was only given two years of probation with conditions. Online records indicate that Kevin has an extensive criminal history, dating back to 2003, involving numerous felony charges. moreover he has been taken into custody four times within this year get the fuck out and all he got was probation he's been arrested four times yep i know so can you imagine you're drunk you've got drug paraphernalia you got 71 grams of weed and you're getting out of your vehicle to go fight someone that you think is driving too slow and then because they have a gun you're calling the police on them this guy is not a bright bulb well i'll tell you what man if that was

wasn't the case his lawyers wouldn't have gotten him off i'm sure that helped at his defense he was flustered because this man pointed a gun and he was trying to do the right thing that's why he evaded that's why he did those things yeah i they got something they got a bunch of the charges dropped but uh wow what a fun one that one escalates a absolute piece of shit but so i enjoy the the uh the code blue those are fun videos if you guys have some of your favorites feel free to send them into us love it so we can check those out You know what time it is, Carl? I think it's not for voicemails.

I think it is. I got an email from McBride this morning. He said, this is the most fucked up one I've ever done. All right. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Syracuse was able to defeat Army over the weekend. This makes us better than anyone who's ever lost to the Army, including the British Empire, Nazi Germany, and of course, Pat Tillman. See you in Syracuse.

All right. Yep. Yeah. Oh, we got rough. Too soon. Oh, Christ. All right. Can I say real quick, speaking to Pat Tillman,

Arizona beating the Cowboys yesterday, fucked up my parley. I won yesterday. Oh, God damn it. I lost both my parlays, and it was because the Cowboys, I just need them to win. I didn't even cover the spread.

Just win the game. I had a couple of props on CD Lamb, piece of shit. Did nothing. I know. It was in my fantasy team. I wasn't happy. either.

Someone called during the show and left us the voicemail, which, cool. Check it out. Hey, this is those from the Discord. Two things. One, don't you think you should buy your liquid plumber in just a big enough quantity that it might get the child

that you abducted down the drain? Yes. And also, do you think he can, like, call and say that the first one didn't do enough and get his rebate? Interesting. Thank you, fuck you, bye. Yeah, I wonder if they get that

a lot of it, the liquid plumber help desk. So you're saying that the girl with the majority of the calls. Listen, sir, we cannot guarantee a 10-year-old will be out of the drain, maybe six, maybe seven, but a 10-year-old that's going to be difficult. Also, yes, I think you should, if you're going to

go around murdering children, go to Costco to buy your liquid plumber. A hundred percent. You know, you're going to want to have to use a dolly. Yes. To get it into your house. That's how much you're going to need. This is a call from our pal, Jim Florentine. Hey, this is

Jim Florentine. Could you guys tell us more about your fantasy team? Did you get Nick Chubb or Najee Harris in the second round? Nobody, and I mean nobody, gives a fuck about your fantasy football team. Fucking yuck. That's why we talk about it, sir. I mean, Jim. Sorry, buddy.

Jim will be in Rochester in January. Very good. We'll have to hang out. Absolutely. Hey, I got a voicemail for us here. Okay, then. This is a message for Vinny on the creep off. If you bring John to comedy at the Carlson,

I'm going to do so many fucking violences on women. Oh, no. You douchebag. And tell John when you speak to him that tributing doesn't mean paying tribute. The word tributing means jizzing on a photo, okay? That's true. Tributing is what I did to my cell phone that time. posted the Vic pictures.

That's a tribute. Wow. I'm making this call while I take a shit on the clock. Oh, do, this is it. Well, thank you for letting me know. So is the show officially canceled since there was a threat of violenceing against women? No, I'm just going to say, look out, ladies. Yeah, okay, we'll put a warning out ahead of time.

They'll be fine. I don't understand why this is so controversial. I think a guy was just having fun with it because John still claimed that there was a club that canceled a sold-out show because someone said they were going to commit violence on women that's the dumbest threat I've ever heard of my life there's no way club owners is like all right well listen we can't have this happen then how does that call even look all the women yeah I'm not going to tell maybe you don't know well I imagine that it was probably just relayed to John in an

inefficient manner possibly here I got another one for us there okay this is for the creep off I understand that Vinnie wanted to become Stuttering John's friend but why has there been zero comedy involved it seems like Vinny has went from the people's champ

to the people's chump Yes Oh okay The reason why there's no comedy involves because it's stuttering John Melendez That's why there's zero comedy involved I mean he's doing a comedy show here I mean you come to it if you want

I didn't think it was a comedy show I thought it was an evening with Stuttering John and we're just going to regales with stories. Stand-up, stories, and Q&A. Yes. With Cardiff Electric. He can't possibly do his routine that everyone already knows, right? Well, whatever.

It'll be great. It'll be a great show. March 10th, you get your tickets at Stutteringjohn Live.com. Right? I'm just not even getting into the shit. I don't care. Listen, I know. Listen, it's an act that the club is booked.

And also, guys, Vinnie thinks that, you know, people think that Vinnie is responsible for this happening. Vinny normally is just, like, vacuuming. and wiping down tables. I've seen what he does around here. Yeah, that generally... He's not the guy who's booking the talent here. That's not his role. Yeah, of course not.

I have nothing to do with any of this. He walks around this place. That's what he does. I carry bags for people. I hear Markipolito come in here and go, Vennie! There's crumbs behind Table 7! And you're like, ah, I got to go, guys. I got to go.

Yeah, that's exactly how it hurts. So, trust me, he's not in charge of booking table. All right, somebody wants to make a nomination for Hall of Fame Creep. Hi, Vinnie. Hi, Carl. So I'd like to nominate a creep this week. One that you may have heard of. Vinnie Paulino. Now, as I understand it, Vinnie and one Mr. Stuttering John Melendez has struck up a very close friendship. That's correct. Vinny even keeping secrets and the rest about this. friendship. They talk on the phone for hours about how much they hate Carl, how big of homosexual he is, and pick bets on how many square miles the gap in his teeth stretches.

What? All sorts of very interesting things. And I think I remember a while back John stating that there may be a mole within your organization Carl. That's right. So I'm not trying to tell you what to do here. anything, but I'm just stating that perhaps Mr. Paulino's loyalties. Why elsewhere? Anyway, congrats on the live show in Detroit, guys. I listened to that last night. It sounded

like a lot of fun. Anyway, don't call me back. It was fun, and there's going to be a WATP live sometime soon, and it's going to be great, and you should all come to that. Correct. This winter. Yeah, go to the shows you want to go to. That's right. Don't go to shows you don't want to go. too. Vinnie, you are getting a lot... Who gives a fuck? You are getting a lot of backlash

from the community right now. I guess. I didn't realize to be so controversial. You deserve it. Telling secrets behind my back. Talking about how many miles the gap in my teeth is?

2.3. 2.3. No gap. I don't have a gap. It's not really the gap that's the problem. It's the jagged edges. Sure.

The thing's caught in there. It's going to be you. Oh, you're going to come bite me, Carl? uh boy i don't know what to say guys other than there's going to be a show who gives a fuck you don't say anything yeah that's all i mean that's my statement i don't care i hear you is uh anything else you want any other voicemails you want to no let's do uh let's do a scum parade all right let's go

scum parade take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made Scum Parade Vinny and Carl Gonna tell you about some fuck shit Scum parade Like stories of a kid fucked by his mom or dad Soking up the blood of a cat

Scum parade Guinea Atlas New York Carl Yes On our way to Syracuse A man was tossed from a wedding this past weekend after touching women inappropriately. Now, after the man arrived around 6.15 p.m., officers responded to the home to a report of

a person with a weapon. Now, when they got to the house, the cops were waved down by guests restraining a man in the driveway. And what they explained is that Christopher Caliphates, he's 46 at Camilles, New York, brought a loaded assault weapon to the home following a dispute. so he was at the wedding he got really really fun he was having a great time

and that they all got mad at him right so they're like you're having too much fun sir this is not we're having a wedding here this is not about fun we can't have this you got to go yeah they said he forcibly touched four women could you imagine

being one of the women who were forcibly touched and you're thinking like I still got it I knew I looked good in this dress that's awesome and then if I know he's touching all the women? Oh, he's just going on force me touching all the girls. I meant nothing to him. Yeah. That's a bummer. That is a bummer. That is true. Maybe this guy should have been a little more, you know, discerning in his face instead of grabbing all the titty. Correct. Leave some for everybody else to grab. Pick one or two. Yeah. Leave some for everyone else. Well,

they threw him out of the party and he got very upset, swore, got into a couple of physical altercations on his way out as one does. Yeah, he's an angry drunk when you leave a wedding to disgrace. He's an angry drunk. I imagine everybody kicking him in the ass and like, get the fuck out of here. This guy sucks. So he came back walking up the driveway with a 30-round magazine in an Anderson AM-15 assault rifle. Luckily, there was enough people there who were like, okay, here he comes again. And they all jumped on him and pantsed him or something.

I don't know what they did. They tackled him and got his firearm away from him. And what's amazing to me about this story is that this is the solution when someone comes up and you outnumber them to go ahead and run of them and tackle them, not hide under furniture. See, we seem to have this weird idea that when there's a gunman who's going around shooting people, we should just run and hide. It's just, it's not a good solution. You know, you got to take your chance. You do. Someone's got to step up.

Someone has to be a hero. Whether it's the break room at a Walmart. or a middle school, someone's got to step up and do something. And we can't leave it all to Tom Myers. I mean, the guy's a hero. That's what I'm saying. The guy is a hero, as we all know. You know, it's no different than, you know, police officer running to the scene of a crime

or a firefighter running into a burning building. It's what I do. All right. He was charged with the following. Two counts of third-degree criminal possession of a weapon, making a terroristic threat. four counts of forcible touchate aggravated DWI a misdemeanor he was taken to the Anadaga County Justice Center where he awaits arraignment alcohol is bad you shouldn't drink alcohol hell of a wedding though must be a good time yeah so back to florida carl yeah

Miami day police arrested a 37 year old Hollywood man wednesday after accusing him of lighting a car on fire back in april now Hollywood Florida yes yes melvin alien Sintron His then girlfriend Who also happens to be his cousin Oh, what's hotter? What is hotter? The fire or the fact that these cousins are fucking

Oh yeah Oh yeah So he was caught on camera April 29th lighting the Jaguar XC sedan on fire in front of the home Jaguar too, huh? Yeah, it's a nice fucking car They said the dummy left his cell phone behind

Oh boy They said they determined soon after That the vehicle belonged to Sintron's girlfriend and cousin, but weren't able to interview her until Monday after failed attempts to contact her over subsequent months following the crime. She said she initially lied to investigators and told him the car caught fire as she drove home because she feared reprisals from Cintron who made her put the phone on speaker whenever she spoke to investigators. Oh, gee, the guy who went your car on fire might do other bad things? Yeah, I would guess so. The woman's,

I could see why you'd think that. Yeah, yeah, it's on brand for him. The woman told police that she fear Cintron in part because he regularly carries a fully automatic gun with double drum high capacity magazines which she told officer he refers to as the gun's tits. Oh, this guy's cool. He's kind of cool. This guy sounds like a fucking cool

dude. See the tits on my gun? Yeah, bro. Yeah. She also told police that Cintraud stole her purse and left her stranded at the Miami and Miami's Bayside marketplace after the two got into an argument because he thought she was flirting with the bartender. Wow, okay. So she probably deserved it then?

She said her purse contained numerous items, including $1,200 in cash. What? Yeah. Okay. Maybe she's making that up in order to, like, try to get more money or something. Yeah. What's a scenario where you would need $1,200 in cash on your person? Drug deal or prostitute?

That's, first off, that's a very expensive drug deal. That's a pretty big quantity. What are you up to? And secondly, prostitute? You're spending that kind of money on a prostitute? No, but if I had that, if I was. What are the governor of New York? You can afford that kind of level of prostitute?

That's insane. High-end trim, buddy. High-end trim package. Good for you, buddy. Wow. Wow. I don't know. You asked me.

What am I doing $1,200? Listen, I don't go more than $75 for a blow job, so I'm impressed with you right now, my friend. Good on you. 75. She's got to have teeth like you. Listen, it's fine. As long as she doesn't use them the way I use mine. Erratically.

To eviscerate apples. So after a shoot awarding Monday, police set officers later located Citron outside of a business and arrested him at gunpoint Wednesday. He's being held on a $12,000 bond on charges of second degree arson and third degree grand theft. Maybe she made up the $1,200 so that it became grand theft. Oh, that's a good idea. Which would, you know, he did burn her car up. That probably cost more than even $1,200, I would imagine. I would imagine it would be a problem.

So, Carl, all the kids are back to school, yeah? Yes. Yeah. So let's take a trip over to St. Catherine University in all-girls school in St. Paul, Minnesota, where Cardiff is from. Minnesota. Yeah. Now, a gentleman by the name of Keanu Labette started exhibiting troubling behavior about a year ago before he went to, before he went off to college. He was sending her messages like, I'm not going to hurt you, can I call you, I still love you, don't blame me for what happens next.

very ominous things to this young girl and after the alarming messages were received when he was still in East High School they called the police in 2022 and he was sentenced to one year of probation with the agreement that the charge would be dismissed if he stayed out of trouble now let's pop up to nowadays September 7th okay he was arrested at this college St. Catherine University at the dorm of his girlfriend of two months now what happened, Carl? It wasn't the fun trip with a girlfriend that you would think it would be the fun weekend away at her school meeting all of her friends. No, what happened was he soon discovered text pictures and social media posts that infuriated him and the visit then took a dark turn.

After giving her hickies, which were consensual, she said. LeBette allegedly tore off her clothes, raped her and beat her. Dude, you don't have to rape your girlfriend. I mean, you might have to go down on her which isn't great but you don't have to rape her she's your girlfriend yeah i mean she's up for a good time get a little you give a little he also used two hands on her neck to strangle her and threaten to kill her while calling her a slut so basically he learned how to do sex from dave portnoy is what you're telling me she said she thought she was going to die uh no he didn't i don't think this is the portnoy move because it doesn't say anything about going out for pizza after have you ever seen that leaked sex taste of dave portnoy no

He likes it rough, that guy. Is he a problem? I mean, listen, it's consensual. The girls like getting their mouth spitting, I guess. Whatever. There's a certain amount of money that you could accumulate where girls are into some weird shit. Now, the victim told police that he had done to kill her family and reminded her that he knew what, uh, that she knew what he had done to a prior girlfriend, which was to hold a knife to her throat. Jesus Christ.

Even Trevor Bowers, like, this sex is a little too rough for me. It was doing. Yeah, it wasn't clear. if he was referring to the same acts who had taken out a restraining order against him. Now, LeBette allegedly moved her mattress to the floor so he could repeatedly rape her without her neighbor's hearing the sexual assaults.

Okay. I guess the bed was too squeaking. That's annoying. The victim said she was paralyzed by fear. The abuse escalated. He forced her to lie down on the tub, and then he waterboard her. Waterported her in the bathtub of her dorm.

What do you know about Afghanistan? What do you know? He then threatened to kill. cut her with a knife and said that she was going to die and know what help her. This poor girl was tortured by this guy. He punched her four times in the throat and in the face. Jesus. And then all

of a sudden, on September 10th, the day after all of this was going down, the college student persuaded him to let her leave the dorm to go get food. What? Because he's a fucking loser who didn't pack a lunch. What a fucking idiot. So you're going to go to the food court

and come right back, right? miss all waterboards you again when you get back if you don't go do exactly what i say so the second she gets out of the room she immediately goes to campus police yeah i would think and he's arrested in the dorn room and uh he's being charged with three counts of criminal sexual conduct and domestic assault by strangulations and this guy think all this shit was normal he just let her walk out go get some food what was he thinking i don't know this is really dumb idiot i i i don't glad this kid's locked up now. I want him locked up for a very long time. Did you see how

he was threatening? He's a fucking problem. When he was in high school, how he was threatening the girlfriend. This is a new one for me. I didn't know. You could do this. He was threatening her via Spotify Playlists. I think, so I think That's right. He was, wasn't it? You should find as many places as possible to menace your ex.

And I think that we're finding some creative ways to really fuck with people here. That's fun. That's a fun one. Do they're Spotify playlists? Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's good. All right. A Kansas youth pastor, Carl, we love them. He's accused of trying to kill his wife and five children in their home before allegedly attempted to set the house on fire. And they say he's the youth pastor. I looked it up. He was the children's pastor. He's the guy who's doing the Sunday school. That's right, kids. Here's Jesus the dog to tell you all about salvation, whatever it is.

The way they described on their website is he's just a big kid who likes to teach kids about Jesus. I'm like, well, yeah, obviously, he believes the Bible is real. He has like a big kid. Just kidding for all the people who think the Bible is. That's right. He had two of all the animals. And then the sea was in the way. So then he parted the sea with his hands and it got out of the way and then they could walk. All right.

Isn't that cool? And then there was this wedding and there was no wine. It was just water and the Jesus is like, we got to get our shit going over here. This is a boring party. That's the miracle that makes me really like Jesus. Yeah, it's like, oh yeah, they're out of wine at this party. I don't think so. Hey, Jesus, can you whip up an IPA while you're over there too, buddy?

Can we get some white claws for my, uh, my Fred White Claw? He's the guy without the sandals. Now, he's being charged. Matthew Richards. He's 41 years old with attempted premeditated first-degree murder and one counter of aggravated arson with risk of bodily harm. His five children, including a 19-year-old and

four juveniles, and his wife all sustained lacerations injuries of varying degrees. Now, Vinnie, correct me if I'm wrong. I think he'd go to health or something like this. Shouldn't he know that? Did this guy not read to the end?

Maybe not. I'm pretty sure this is a punishable offense right here. Yeah, you're not supposed to murder your five children. No, definitely not. I don't know which commandment that is, but I think it's covered under the thou shalt not kill. Period. Shawnee police and firefighters respond to the home of a disturbance call.

When they arrived, they said that the blaze was located, started in the basement of the house, and quickly extinguished it. So it didn't burn the whole house down. They took all five victims and Richards to the hospital for treatment. now richard's biography on the crossroads christian church website here's the actual quote he's a big kid who loves teaching little kids about jesus he has been married to stephanie since 2003 and they have four boys and one girl he and his family have three rules

number one love god number two love people number three don't burn the house down oh nope it's love sports oh see they didn't have a fourth rule that's the problem they adopted three rules. That's the problem right there. You don't just have to have three rules. You can have as many rules as you need. In fact, there's rules that society's put there for you in case you forget to put them in your house rules. There's actually these commandments. There's 10 of them that you might want to look at too. So he's been there for a long time. And I think maybe too many shitty Christian puppet shows fucking made this guy finally like twerk off. Maybe Veggie Tales did it. Dude, they don't have a motive for this. I bet the wife and kids found

his kiddie porn stash. Right. They must have found something because this guy loves kids and Jesus. We know where that goes every time. Yeah. It's convenient that he loves Jesus too, you know? I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I'm like, all right.

Sure you do. Baby Jesus. Today we're talking about, a regular Jesus. You're like, baby Jesus. You're like regular Jesus. You answer me. We're going to talk about how Jesus gave all you kids a pecca today at Sunday school. Oh, it's a gift for who, remember that?

guy we watched from a chicken hawk oh it was a wonderful experience for me and the boys what was the name lyle oh god i don't remember that the guy in the yellow sweater when we watched the chicken hawk documentary oh yes that's right oh my god i couldn't remember i didn't know that it was called chicken hog i forgot yeah either way uh creepos are out there watch your kids watch your kids folks and i guess that is this week's episode of the creep off it happened I think we have one more super chat that came in. All right. It says,

Chase Burke, two bucks. I wonder why S.J. doesn't call you the Carl Russ. The Carl Russ? I am the callress. Boopo doop a deep a doop. That's actually pretty good.

I guess. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Not as good a shit wear. That one's pretty funny. Yeah, it's pretty good. I like that one.

I thought it should be duty wear because you got the dues pay a duty weigh you know even just the dues wayer is fine too do's wear it doesn't make sense but it's fun whatever cares okay either way i feel like shit puts it on the nose for people so they know yeah i guess so people are saying that i need to dye my hair am i getting too gray over here turn your head to the side i don't want to turn your head to the side no i think it's the light it's the light ring lights there's two bright lights yes that's what it is i'm not gray at all it's the lighting in here remember how i went to bat for you just now. Remember that. Remember how

I stood there. It lied for you old gray mayor. Did Bob did Bob leave you make some room on the fence for you up there so you could scoot in? Me and Bob are just sitting up there having a smoke. Actually, Bob is taking sides. You, sir, are still up on the feds. Oh, Bob jumped down, so it's all behind now? How do you feel about KB? What's your take

on Kevin Brennan? I don't like Kevin Brennan. Oh, FKB. FKB. There it is. I say it every week on summer surfing, FKB. There you go. By the way, tonight, live at 8, clock subredit surfing. We are exploring the world of polyamory. Oh, that's always fun.

Yeah, with our special contestant who is trying for the producer job. Dylan? Dylan from somewhere. Very good. Dylan somewhere will be producing suburb of surfing tonight at 8 p.m. And polygamy is a

fun one because it turns out... Polyamory. Oh, yeah, right, polyamory. It turns out that no one can handle it. I want to talk about that. Everyone always gets jealous and butt hurt, and then it always goes bad. I feel like this is what they taught us in school about communism. It all sounds like a great idea.

Right. Yeah, no, no. It happens. Don't worry about human nature. We'll just, everything's going to work out great. Everyone's going to be happy with their loaf of bread and someone fucking your girlfriend, and it's just fine. You're going to be fine with it. I had a very long conversation with somebody who's closer to you than to me, who's

polyamorous. Oh, yeah? And was explaining a whole bunch of it to me. That'd be Dick Masterson, are you talking to? No, someone, I'm not going to dox them. Oh, God. I'll tell you off air. But, yeah, it's an interesting world.

So we'll be exploring that tonight. Hope you can tune in. Until then, remember, it's nice to be important. And there's one more superchats. I wanted to just came in from Dang Lizard at the very end. Have you heard of Crippled Jesus just wondering? Heard of? Yes.

Heard from? No. I haven't heard from Cripple Jesus. I reached out to him when we booked the Detroit show. and I asked him if he wanted to come to the Detroit show and he said I moved to the west side of the state I think he's kind of out of the whole podcasting world

and he's doing his own thing now I guess it's too bad I miss him well he was a great guy well he was a guy who was around that made me laugh a lot he made me laugh a lot too crippled Jesus we miss you come back sometime yeah buddy welcome anytime my friend absolutely so

on that note it's nice to be important it's more important to be nice Gagia Yeah, baby you're dead I'm a play me on on you You got raped And you should have been more careful I'm going to cream off

Eat go fat chicken Sorry, but you brought this on yourself.