The Creep Off - Episode 191: Creepsgiving IV: Low & Slow

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

In this special episode Karl & Vinnie celebrate Creepsgiving with an old-fashioned scum parade! Plus, Vinnie spins the wheel of consequences, and he will not be happy this holiday season!The score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 0 and the contest will resume next Monday.Check out the Scum Parade stories: Sheriff: Volunteer firefighter arrested while fighting fire he allegedly set in Chippewa Co. – 9&10 News (9and10news.com)Man tried to steal couple’s Florida home, then sought a hitman to kill them, feds say (yahoo.com)Johnathan Quatroche allegedly smashed head of girlfriend’s rabbit (nypost.com)Houston Woman to Spend Decades in Prison for Fatally Stabbing Mother (frontpagedetectives.com)Thai mother hires gunman for murder of her drug-addicted son | Thaiger (thethaiger.com)Mum confesses to brutally killing premature baby by throwing infant into red-hot stove - World News - Mirror OnlineNebraska Parents Allegedly Find Dead Baby in Teen's Closet: Police (frontpagedetectives.com)Mexican gang tortures 'rapist' by making pit bull terrier eat his genitals - World News - Mirror OnlineWant to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! 

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods, because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo! Disgusting

Vomit-inducing thing Guess where you just got into Cool Guy's own Ola Creepos Welcome to another edition of your favorite True Cry podcast The show about creeps by creeps for you creeps I'm your host

now kind of COVID free it's me Vinnie P and joining me in studio it's everybody's favorite guy in the world Oh no It's hot cucka carl Hey what is up Comorbidity Paulino

So glad you survived your second bout With the vid buddy Welcome back Motherfucker It was so much harder the second time Yeah sounds like you were really down for the count I was not doing well I was not feeling great

about anything so hi folks great to be back what did you uh what did you take what was the uh did your doctor prescribe anything you talked to talk to talk to steve oh i called stevesy and stevesy put me on that pexloved okay so uh nice yeah the good stuff the good stuff i guess i don't fucking know i would have done nothing i'd be dead who knows i think steve saved your life yet again dr steve saved me everybody that's right please make sure you're subscribed to weird medicine do me a favor for all the people who don't survive, Dr. Steve. There's a few that actually do.

And Vinny is one of them. He's in the minority on this one. I feel like he's biting his time with me until he knows I'm going to die and he could be there to watch. Right. I think that's his plan. Carl, welcome back to the show. I'm glad to be here.

We are going to be celebrating our favorite holiday. Hold on. People are telling me that our mics are very low or my mic is very low. And I get that sense, too, on this show. I think that that's Vinny's way of trying to win. If no one can hear me, they'll vote for Vinny. I couldn't even hear Carl, so I guess I'll vote for Vinny. I see what you're up to you over there.

That doesn't help me at all. Nothing's helped to me. That's true. Good point. This has been a great round. Wow. What a round. This was fucking horses shit.

Go fuck yourself. It is nice to be back here in studio with you, Vinny. I was worried we had to miss our Friday show because you were sick. Yeah. I was self-isolating, which really was kind of the prescription I needed. I stayed in a giant room with a theater like Howard Hughes. Nice. I just sat in there for days with a fever watching movies.

Did you watch John and write a new song about you? Have you seen that yet? I saw it this morning. Oh, okay, good. You know, I was going to bring it and I'm like, I don't want to bum my buddy out. It just got well again. Bump me out. Do you think that bumped me out?

No, it's the funniest fucking thing. I read so bad at writing songs. My new nickname, in case you guys don't know, is, uh, moonhead. Whoa, you're going to say that? Watch up. Other people might call you moonhead now. Do you notice that he didn't realize the irony of calling me the one with the big head?

Yeah. Did you notice that? Oh, you know, I noticed that. Oh, did you? No, the best part about John is that he makes fun of all of us for all the things that he's way worse than us. Ah, that's great. Dude, and your bills beat the Jets. That kind of pissed me off, too.

But congratulations to you on that, by the way. Well, hey, don't worry. We lost more guys out of our secondary, probably for the rest of the year. So, yay, injuries. Jalen Ramsey's. A god among men. Go fins. How fun.

All right, guys. Today's episode is going to be a big one because I know. Because you're big. Every episode of the cream off is a big one. It's a half big one. That's right. It's going to be a big one because, unfortunately, I already know the answer to this. The results from last weeks are in a game point.

Oh, you don't seem excited about it. Should I be? I don't know. I haven't looked at the results yet. That's why we have our results girl, Jessica, joining us. Hello. How's it going? Good.

Okay. So last week we did Creepiest Waiter. Carl brought a woman who used a hot dog. As your own pleasure device. I believe they called them marital aides. Yes. They used to call them as a marital aide at work and then put it on someone's plate. Hey, I got a question for both of you guys.

Yeah. Was there ever. rumor when you were in school that like one of the icky girls probably like junior high or something shoved a hot dog in her vagina and it broke off inside there did you guys have any rumors like that about any of your classmates no teacher teacher yeah i i started it because i started it i started it because she had such shit breath yeah i was like oh i bet you that hot dog's still there rotty that's why her breath is so bad wait why would her breath be bad because of the hot dog and her cooch yeah i know that was the joke

Okay That was the joke It was just like traveling through But you never really didn't understand how sex works Yeah it was my biology teacher So fucking I wasn't paying attention Okay I wasn't sure Because there was this girl Vicky

Appropriately named Icky Vicky Icky Yeah And we And there was a rumor going around She tried to master it with the hot talk Because it seemed like that

It'd be dangerous To show something like that in there Because those things can break Pretty easily right Jess comment I didn't have any rumors like that That's just No if you don't know

who it was, and maybe it was you. I hope not. You know, and they say if you look around the poker table, you can't find the sucker. Let me ask you this question. Do you get invited to a lot of like cookouts? People invite you to things like that. Yeah.

We don't have to keep going We don't have to keep going down this line of questioning. Poor Jess. She wants nothing to do with this. She just had a true crime show talking about true crime and tailying up votes. That's all she's doing. That video last week of that woman was disgusting. So that, by the way, let me just finish up before we give the results. Carl brought

the woman in the hot dog. I brought a fucking guy who ate his mother, chopped up into a bunch of pieces and fed it to his dog and lived off of it for a month. Yeah, but he didn't hurt his dog. So? A lot of dog lovers in our audience, Vinny. He fed the dog people, Carl. That should be enough okay so look you guys both brought a good both got good creeps don't patronize me thank you thank you jess i don't patronize me that the whole chopping it up and eating her because he was hungry that's disgusting it's that pleasant i would actually get a job before i resorted to eating my my mother for uh you know like the job that that woman had yes right shoving things in my uh nether regions Yeah.

You were supposed to start that only fans for your cons quads at one time. That would have been fun. I did start the only fans for my cons of quads. That's true. You did, but all you did was put pictures of me on that. Yeah. You didn't get a lot of subscribers. All right.

Who won? Well, it was 115 to 71. Wow. And Carl won. Oh, yeah. Today is a good day. Today, I have completed my first shutout ever on the creep off. Have you ever shut me out before, Vinny?

I can't remember. Yes. Okay. I figured you would know. This is an exciting day. Vinny will have to spin the wheel of consequences. You know, guys, I still don't feel good. I think I got to go home early.

Yeah, well. I got a note here from my mom. I'm writing. We'll spin it one time or another. All right. Well, do you want to talk about the consequences real quick? Because I have them right here to pull up. so we can tease it.

We'll spin the wheel at the end of the show. Sounds good. Here's what we have. Number one is obviously winner's choice. Number two is play with puppies. Disgusting. Wait, what? Number three is watching for 10 hours.

These are not the consequences. Number four is Kit Tea Party. That's disgusting. I would never do that. Number five is take a paid month off. That would be awful. Number six is Docs Cardiff. Weird.

Number seven is hang out a bar of choice for day. And number eight, of course, Pass the spin. Hang out at bar of choice for day. Yeah, I guess we'll find out. These are brutal. Yeah, we'll find out which one of those. I was like, wait, those are actually nice.

I need an ally in the graphics department, obviously. All right, here's the real ones. All right, let's see where the real guys are. I want to have some fun. Number one is winner's choice. Number two is to be determined. We did not pick it yet. Okay.

So we'll decide what it is today before we spin. Sounds good. Number three is murder and makeup. And I had a douche chill figured about, having to do that. And then I had an even bigger douche shudder when I saw number four. Watch The Last Jedi three times in a row. Oh, brutal.

That movie is like watching that movie three times in a row. It's how boring it is. Patreon and Supercast dollars go to Carl. Love it. Merry Christmas to me. Yep. Let's add Super Chats in there too while we're at it. Tom Meyer's stand-up torture, which would be a few hours of just watching Tom

Meyer stand up on a live stream. Oh. Are there hours worth of Tom Meyer's stand-up to watch? Fucking unfortunately. Wow. I'll have to get his albums and listen to them. That's amazing. Now, I'm running for six right now.

Number seven, $100 to podcast. I know. That's cool. I keep wanting to reach out to him. I don't know how and I forget. I don't care. It gives a shit. Who gives a fuck?

I know. And number eight is past the spin, which is what I am hoping for today. Okay. So throwing your suggestions in super chat form. spot number two. It's the only way we'll consider them. Thank you.

All right, Jess. Oh, that's a good one. Phil Eatmore, podcast with Vinnie and Finifat. I think you and Phil should have to team up to do a podcast series. That would be amazing. Just a suggestion for the wheel

for the TVD space. You and your buddy Phil team it up doing a show about food or fried food or fast food or something. You're the only one around here who podcasts with that guy. that's why that's why i'm saying put it out the wheel yeah i don't think that would be a good idea all right just a suggestion got you oh fuck you uh jess any comments you want to make before we

move on with the episode because we got a lot to get to today like comments on the reddy or just comments that i should make it's your time jess whatever you want to do could you just maybe okay uh well actually somewhat on reddy actually said their name I'm right weeners. I am about 90% sure Carl's creep is a fake. The viral video has been around for years now and has never been a

tribute to anyone. His creep doesn't even have a name because the video is staged. Bullshit. Just because it's been around doesn't mean it's fake. I just thought that was interesting. I think that's exactly what it means and I think we should do a rematch. Nope. Nope.

Regardless, that video is disgusting. Rematch. I'll foot ratio. I don't I know it really was gross. You put ketchup on a hot dog. So nasty. Yeah. I mean, ruins the flavor.

Ruin's the flavor. All right, everybody, follow at Jess daydreaming, and we will see you after the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving, Jess. Happy Thanksgiving, Jess. All right,

motherfucker. She's delightful, isn't she? I do love her. I really do love her. She's a sweetheart. Carl, we're going to do a, we're not doing a contest. today. We're going to start back with the contest next week.

It'll be wild card round. Yes. We'll start the new round. I've been under the weather. I had the COVID. I'm okay. But I didn't feel like sitting there and doing all the research to come up with the creep. So I just pulled a backlog of scum parade stories that are pretty great.

Yeah. And we'll definitely be entertained. I've been wanting to get to. There are some themes here today, too. Yeah. Motherhood. Family. Motherhood family.

And a lot of cocaine. Outsourcing. Outsourcing is one of the themes today. Absolutely. That is definitely one of the themes. today and you know what else carl is one of the themes today cooking there's some cooking in there i may have said that already that might be the covid brain that's let's take a look at the super chast isn't coming in thank you guys so much it is super chat monday i forgot to mention that

we appreciate the support cardiff coming in monday afternoon with moonhead and choppers yay we got rebrand this shell vending because that's what everyone knows us by now moonhead and chombers like jod gives you a nickname i mean holy shit who am i to stand in the way of that That rutted itself to the ground. Good job with potato soup last night, Cardiff. I'm excited about the new character in the dabbled verse, Joanne. I don't know if you've seen potato soup yet. That's where I saw the moodhead song.

Potato soup rules. Good stuff, Cardiff. Moronic opinions. Happy creeps giving all. Now, a special shout out to Moronic opinions. I told everybody, I don't know if I mentioned it on the show last week, but I'm doing cameos until Thanksgiving. Yes.

All the money is going to the Alzheimer's Association. Opinic Opinions grabbed one of those, so I really do appreciate that. Vinny is giving back, everybody. Kendi, thanks for the $2. Carl's mic isn't low enough. I could still hear him. Kendi, do you ever smile? You are a miserable C-word.

You know that? Even in her profile pick, she looks miserable. Look how beautiful she is. She is. I don't know about that. A beautiful, funny woman. I like girls who smile and have fun. She has a lot of fun.

It's your expense. Dang Lizard, thanks for the 10 euros. As an S.J. Loyalist, I have to ask, Vitty, do you regret being back with your abusive ex-Lady K? S.J. would have increased your fame to new heights. That's a great question. You came back to the abuser, Vinny. Remember I said something bad about your wife once? How many times does John brought that up?

I'm just the most battered spouse of the dabover. I'm beat up by everybody. Psychotic. Five bucks. Is it possible to out yourself as a creep? I, uh, asking for a friend, maybe. Scola! 100%.

If you are watching this show live right now, you are a creep. This is a show, by creeps, for creeps. By definition, you are now lumped in and you are a crew. Correct. Eugene Brean says, congrats, Carl. Thank you, Eugene, looking good. Love, Eugene, Bark, Bark. Laf fuck, I don't know what that means.

Thanks for the two whatever's. Cheer up video here. Buy yourself something. Pounds, baby, pounds. Two pounds? I got a lot more pounds than that. gut loud drops cut out we can't hear the drop or you huh let me see what's going on yeah let's see what's going on over there what do you don't do the echo cancellation and automatic adjustment

I didn't do that dude I didn't put that on what is wrong with you it turned itself back on I usually don't have it set thank you for telling me that gut I appreciate it Michael C Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. Hopefully that's coming through okay for everyone on. Oh, boy. Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. That ain't funny. B-I-N-N-Y.

V-I-N-N-Y. I don't care. I don't care. My jokes don't go over. I don't care. All right, let's get on it. We got a lot to do today. There we go.

All right, Michael C. Thanks for the Down 99, Phil E-Morsion podcast, with Vinny and Finifat. I am a mid-fat. I have taken the test. I am, I checked the scale. Simon 3-4-3. He's Vinifat.

It's his own category. Consequence idea, Jack off with icy hot. Hard pass. That's funny. I would only say that if Carl was spinning. Ben Gay would probably be more appropriate. Oh, thanks for the $2, kiddie.

I smile with Vinnie. That's why you're not smiling, kidd. That explains it Yeah, it must be This is about a brutal five weeks, man I know Yeah It's been outstanding

I hope everybody's fucking happy I have learned How to win at this game So watch out I now understand the formula It took you Almost three years Of doing a weekly show

Yeah So what's the formula Carl The formula is I gotta get you to pretend You're friends With someone everyone hates So

Well I'm just be over here With my pal Opie Yeah I knew We're gonna go to the beach together. I knew it. He and Opie. I already go, hang out. Dude, the funniest thing on Twitter right now is Opie and Louis J.

Louis J. Gomez going at it. Whoa, what are they going at it about? Oh, Lewis J said something about Opey on his podcast, Opie's super thin skinned and tried to call out Lewis J and Lewis just fucking hammered a bag. Oh, sweet. It's pretty great. You should follow that on Twitter. I got to find that out. Yeah. Well, I'm blocked by Opie, of course, so there's that. Oh, well, I'll find you some screenshots later.

We'll do. So, Carl, let's do some code blue. can before we do our scum parade what do you say yeah we can do that first and then we'll do some uh then we'll do some voicemails we'll do a scum parade okay so this one came over from jeff spangler thank you for sending this to me and uh what we have today is a 28 year old podcaster uh-oh and she does like a relationship podcast i couldn't find it he couldn't find it so i don't know i'd love to check out her show if anyone recognizes her maybe we can figure that out so what we're going to pick up here is the police officers going through an intersection this car almost Bones him. She's just going to plow right through the red light, but then slams on the

brakes. So then she continues to go. The cop obviously does a U.E goes to a follower. And that's where we're going to pick up here. So this person almost just t-boned a cop. Correct. And there's not a lot of traffic out right now. It's like two in the morning. Yeah, not a lot of excuses for it. Yeah. All right. Here we go. All right. So now there's another red light, slams on the brakes. I wasn't anticipating the red light. Now it's green. And you'd think that they're pulled over here.

The lights are on. The car is stopped. So, oh, is this only in one channel? This might only be in one. Oh, and then there they go. That's evading, yeah. There she goes. Whoops.

Police was all ready to get out of his car. Now she's all over the place, driving through the middle of the road. So this goes on for a while. And then eventually she turns into a parking lot. And finally, she says, stops the car and the officer's able to get out, which is where we pick up on our next clip here. All right.

Shut your car off. Turn off your Kia. Why don't you get out of the car? I'm back here, man. Hey. Hey. Oh, you're all right? Yeah, I'm good.

Relax. Come on over here. Have a seat in the bumper there. How much have you had to drink tonight? You all right? I don't have a seat over here. Oh. One, you almost hit my cruiser coming through the intersection.

Secondly, you took off the second time when I tried to stop you. What's going on tonight? I'm trying to just go home, take my friend home. All right, sit tight. Now, the best is that. She goes, I'm just trying to take my friend home, so he goes over to the car. There's no one in the car. He's like, we're talking about.

What if you're taking your friend home? She's fucking out of it, Vinny. Dude, he was holding her up. She was fucking webo wobbling all over the place. Yes, she was. And the cop's hand is on her, but literally only steadying her. He tries to put her on the bumper of the car, and she almost fucking falls off of that. She's lucky she got pulled over because she would have driven into something at some point.

No, she's lucky if she made it home. She is not lucky that she got pulled over. No, I mean, I don't think she would have made it at home. Yeah. She is not in a good place right here. All right. Okay. So now we find out more about her and her podcast and my next clip.

Oh, good. Are you the owner of that vehicle? This is my mom's car. I only have my mom's car tonight because I was editing a video that I'm doing. I have a podcast. So I went to stoke with this car. Eastside of Hillcrest. So I took her car to that location.

Yes. what so is that your car turns into what's my mom's car because i had to do some video editing for my podcast and i had to go to this place to do this video editing it's like okay i didn't ask you any of those things i don't care about any of that shit is it your car or not okay it's not it's her mom's car um i really appreciate the cop not asking her what podcast right actually because to me there i can never think of a scenario where i just volunteer by the way i do a podcast you should listen to it. Yeah.

Like I don't do that in conversation ever. I don't drop it in this shit. No, because it's obnoxious. Back in the precinct, back in the precinct, she's talking about her podcast some more. And the guy goes, so you have a lot of listeners. She's like, I think we have like 300,000. He goes, oh, so you're actually famous.

I'm talking to a famous version. She's like, yeah. No, you're not famous. I promise you that. No one in the chat has told us her name yet. You are not famous. No one knows who the fuck you are. But if we can find her podcast,

to check it out. Okay. So now we know she has a podcast. She took her mom's car. We'll bring back who are these creepos for that episode. For sure. A hundred percent. Yes. All right. So now we want to know how much of you had to drink tonight? Get ready for some alcoholic math. If you have five drinks in an hour. Yep. Get ready for it. Vinny. Let's do the math together. You ready? Okay.

I want you if you had to drink tonight. Be honest. We're all adults here. Yeah, I know. I'm not going to lie. I don't know, I had, like, diverse, I had, like, a drink when I was editing, so I had, I had a drink when I was over here. I would say, like, four drinks, okay, total in the past, like, four hours. Oh, well, according to Suttering John, that's one drink. Yeah, you're fine, honey. You're fine.

How do you get back in your car? Have a great day. Watch those intersections, will you? She had four drinks and four hours. Okay. Whatever you say. If you're listening to the show, by the way, she's not enormous, but she's a bigger gal. So she would not be wasted from four drinks, would be my guess.

I think there might have been a little bit more than that. I forget women and how much they could put back because I'm married to the lightest of lightweights. Correct. That exists. There have been some stories with that. You were there. I know. I didn't want to say anything. Oh, one of these days, I'll tell that.

Fuck it. Oh, ruined A.W for me. Poor wife. I felt so bad for her. Yeah, well. Because I love your wife. She's a sweetheart. When at the wedding, you felt bad for it?

Well, everyone felt bad for that day. You know, we've been married for... Did they skip the... If anyone here knows a reason why these two should not be wed, speak up now. Did you like, we got to skip that part? That's not going to... I was just sitting there going to just to the guy. That's not going to be good.

All reason. All reason. All reason. I'll name seven. Dude, we hit 14 years. Congratulations. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Wow. And after 10 years, a lot of people lost a lot of money. I bet. Is that why you guys are staying together, just to fuck with people? I can see you being that kind of guy. Dude, you should have seen the odds. You should have seen the odds back in 0.9. Horatous.

All right. Okay, so we're still checking this sobriety test. We've got the field sobriety test coming up. Oh, good. She's not going to do great at those. Oh, she's not good at tests? She can't even stand. Okay.

Look at her. What I want you to do is... She's just falling over just standing. What I want you to do is I want... Uh-huh. I want you to do as I want you... Say what? Nothing.

Whoops. I'm thought. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead and put one foot in front of the other. Touch heel to toe for me. Can you do that? Keep your hands at your side.

Touch heel to toe? Yeah. Go ahead and do that for me. Okay. I want you to start the test until I tell you to do so. Okay, I got to be able to instruct you what to do, okay? So go ahead and place one foot in front of the other. He's fucking with her here.

Can you do that for me? Yes. Go ahead and do that. Now tell me a true crime story. Go. What's she doing? Why is she still doing that? I didn't tell you to start the test, okay.

I didn't say Simon says. I want you to stand one foot in front of the other. Touch heel the toe, just like this. Okay. Go ahead and touch heel the toe. Why do they drag this out? She can't even stand up. point of this.

Got you. I'm rooting for it now. Imagine she's an acrobat. I want to do a standing cartwheels. Yeah, she goes. Yeah, she's killing it. It's not working out very well for her. Okay.

So they had her back to the precinct. Okay. And they're trying to find someone who will come pick her up and post her bell, which is $375. She has to ask them, I think, 28 times what the amount is. She never remembers. Okay. To the point where the one police officer starts making up a saw

and start singing $375.75, like, he's had to say it's so many times stuck in his head. Anyway, so, um, they're back- Did he pull out an attitude guitar? No, he did not do that. That would have been fun. So they're trying to find someone. She doesn't think anyone's going to help her, unfortunately. Yeah, well, none of her 300,000 listeners are no, I know, right? You would think she just put out a tweet. I'm not trying to make you cry. I'm just trying to make it not have to stay the night in jail. Yeah, I know my, my dad. I know what he's trying to do. at it trying to show you

an example. But it's not, it's not going to help because he makes it worse. He's half the reason I do hearing. So. Do you live with mom and dad? Yeah. Are you married or no? Okay.

To my work. When you wake up a couple of hours to go to work and they don't see you home, are they going to be concerned? All right? So we want to call them, right? Okay. So this guy's go, okay, you live at home with your parents.

we're probably going to want to give them a call because you're in jail tonight and so they're going to be worried about that. So she's going no, my dad said never did call him again when this happens. He's going to be all mad. And then finally she decides after some crying, she goes

all right, I'm going to call my dad. Now we're at 3.30 a.m. at this point and she's calling her father. Oh, is he up on his way to work? Oh, he's not up yet. She wakes him up. He's not happy with this. Oh, good. What are my... Tell him you got arrested.

You're at Mayfield Heights Jail. Your bond is $375 to get you out today. If he elects not to, then you've got to stay with us until the morning. And he's going to fill out. I swear... We'll fill this out after we get the results, but fill out this part like the reasons why. You know, we'll stop in that way.

Are you funny joking? I agree with you to say no. Then that's okay. We don't have to call him. No, I'll call him. Okay. I just want to say no. If he says no to me, I swear to God, bro.

I've been doing so good. If he says no. How much is it? $375. If he says no. Okay. Remember how much fun she was? She was doing the field sobriety.

It's just like she was having a good old time. It was like heel turn, heel turn. kick fall stumble right she had it down and it's it's one of these things i don't know if you've ever been with a girl like this where she goes through different phases of drinking and it always ends with crying there's always a lot of crying and she's very upset so she gets her dad and let's check out her dad's response to hey come pick me up it's $375 i'm drunk at the police station huh i wonder what dad has to say now he says okay i hate that you know this because i would like to to gamble on what I think.

I'm going to go if he says no, but that's just me. Yeah. They're willing to let me. What is it? $375. $375. And you were arrested for OBI.

I was arrested for an OVI on the way home. Do you hear that? Oh yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, they're all here. Yeah, they're all here and I literally. literally got caught and I wasn't even drinking a lot

and then I didn't sign there but I wasn't even drinking like that dad she wasn't even drinking a lot and it was the most random thing that happened to her yeah the cop car came out of nowhere Christ he bowed it yes how do you do your editing Carl do you not have a few drinks when you edit

I sure do and I make sure to drive across town I bring my computer with me, edit it all up, get real drunk, and then drive back. What I like to do is put a Coors Light in my cup holder. Sure. Gave my laptop on the side console there and edit while I drive and drink. It's the way I do it. Well, I don't think you should be saying that on YouTube. They might start following your own.

Should I not be putting videos of me drinking Coors Light in a car on the Internet? I probably shouldn't do that. When you remind me, what's your license plate number again? I always forget. It's a vanity plate. It says F-A-W-K-A-R-L. I see what you did there. Maybe 2Ks.

Okay, so now her dad says no, hands the phone to the police officer, and the dad's just like, I'm not dealing with this shit. I got to get up for work in the morning. You just won't get out of a dead sleep. I'm not dealing with this. The guy's like, that's fine. She can stay here. We got, we'll make a bed for her.

It's whatever. Yeah, this isn't like the babysitter. We're not going to charge you more for keeping her. Like, this is at a daycare. Yeah, precisely. So now she gets her results So she did blow into the breathalyzer when she got back And they're going to pull out the results here

Drum roll please Let's see where we're at I'm guessing drunk I literally Test results and you're going to get a copy of it Your blood alcohol was 0.228 Okay 170

You're twice so almost three times A legal limit Yeah no I clearly do that I just I can't So your license is suspended for automatically one year instead of the two years. Can I call who one more time? Call who one more time.

I don't suggest that. Yeah, she wants to call her dad back. She's like, well, why now? He's like, because he's pissed. You just woke him up, and he's not happy with you right now. So she keeps saying how she's never going to talk to him again. She's all upset with her dad, like it's her dad's fault. Boy, can I not wait to hear her next episode.

And she's crying, and she's all upset. upset and oh and then at one point she even asked the officer why she's there she completely forgot the whole thing getting pulled over field sobriety test like oh man it's like an hour or two has gone by she's already forgotten yeah she was browned out well i believe that her defense is going to be very simple it looks like she's going to blame this on the patriarchy if i had to yes i would agree with that and she might be right point 228 is a pretty high BAC. Not in the Olympics, though. Not a winner in the Olympics. So, one more clip.

This looks like a fucking, oh my God, it's like orange is a new black. Go ahead in there. This looks like a holding cell. It is a holding cell. Oh, my God. You're joking. No, I'm not joking. Go ahead in there. Please cooperate.

I just love that. She goes, this looks like a holding cell. It is a holding cell. it really never did click with her so she did get a friend to come and pick her up so she was only there for a few hours and then her friend had to come and post the how much money Vinnie $375 I hope it was her producer

if anyone knows who that podcaster is please let us know oh boy oh boy she sucks Carl are you ready to do some voicemails by the way I am but we might want to hit the superchats I saw a few coming through while we were playing that video let's hit them up

Let's see what people are saying to us. All right. We got that one. Kindie. We got that one. Ah, the salt merchant takes for the $10. $10. Thank you very much.

Nice to see Vinny on his redemption arc. He has severed the stutter. It got a Lord of the Rings reference last week. And now he's spinning the wheel. Also, he's keeping his stories down to sub 30 minutes. Yes, I am. But we haven't really gotten to the stories yet. The old man is learning.

You can teach an old dog new tricks, apparently. My head isn't just filled with moon rocks, you know. I'm smart. I can learn things. I see what you did. Nimrob 71, thanks for the Dow 99. Consequence, wedding photo, loser wears the dress. That's fun.

I'm not taking a wedding photo with you. That's a fun one. No, fuck that. Fuck that one. I'm not doing that. Oh, look at it's Lady Vin. Lady V. Wear a dress.

You know, you'd send it immediately to John. Oh, we all would. Are you kidding me? Get it in flux. you know i would deserve that though that would be awesome uh loser kisses the winner's butt that's a hard no hard no hard no i'm not even sure what you mean by that remember kids SJ's hemorrhoid blood contains HPV genital warts thank you for the reminder dang lizard wow is that uh something we shouldn't say carl it's just so disturbing to think about

that guy's excuse for i didn't shit to bed my hemorrhoids exploded and blood through a jeans. What? It's way worse. You showed us, John. All right. Well, geez, my bad. Troy Smith, FKB.

Oh, yeah, I'm wearing my shirt. Oh, sick. I get the sticker for that behind you. Yes, Troy gave me this in Detroit. Thank you, Troy. I got to, uh, Troy's doing some interesting projects these days. I got to get back with Troy on something. Uh, Reverend shit stayed powerful pooper.

Thanks for the $2. Drop it a shit. get stream elements already carl fpe what are they talking about i have no idea get stream elements already car all right i'll look into stream elements i've never fucking heard of stream elements well thank you reverend shitstain powerful pooper all right carl let's uh kick it over to our voice veils okay uh hold on Trevor zero thanks for the 20 bucks yeah Trevor better luck next consequence viny I appreciate that Trevor thank you very much thank you very much sir the creepoff voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of syracuse looking for a deal this holiday come to our nick hogan school of driving mention the creepoff and get a free drink at the bar see you in syracuse

oh yeah we're going to talk about that oh we're going to talk about that in just a minute but hold on uh sean out west says viny is on this because he owns a comedy club upstate not due to any humor he's a patreon sean West. I invented this fucking game. I came up with the creep off. I am here because Carl takes pity on me, yes. I was just about to say that. But I still invented the fucking game. Yes, that's true. We got to give it to you. Thank you. Got to give your props on that. This was Albini's idea. Yeah. Fugged great idea, everybody. Gonso. Three months. Sorry for John the Lentizing time zones for point dabbled point, Carla. But that's why pencil's heavy racers, I won't let you doubt again. Gonso Schittcock was invited to be on Point Depplepoint and then went, oh, you guys do this now?

No, no, I can't do it now. All right. Well, Carl, let's start off with our voice males. The first one is a question for you. Let me get rid of this. Sorry. Hey, I'm just curious. Every time Carl says that the legal age of consent in New York is 17,

does anybody else think of that old Bo Burnham joke or he says, you know, women are like, numbers, if they're under 18, just do them in your head. Thank you, fuck, you, bye. That is a good one. Uh, right. The podcast profit left us a voicemail, and it is not over 45 seconds, so I'll play this one. It's the podcast profit.

Holy Spirit speaking to me right now. Did I just fucking hear that Vinny was a fucking server for a few years? No, I did? You know, you're down on your life. that shit, but I just cannot picture a fucking world where Vinny triple bypass Paulino is in a job where he

gives food to people. Like, that's like the biggest conflict I've ever fucking hurt. Thank you, fuck you, bye. I mean, I was bad at it. I like picturing you making the salads, because the servers have to make the salads usually. And you're just going, ew!

Eh, carrots. What is this? Funny story. Yeah. you know the pf chains out there at east female i do i worked there when they very first opened okay and uh on the opening night i had they'd given me one of the bigger tables like one of the chef's tables i don't know why they should have put me in the corner somewhere yes they should give me something to play with toy to play with and like the the wife and brother of the man general manager of the restaurant

we're sitting at this table yeah i spilled hot tea all over the guy's brother spilled it all over the first night there first night open It was fucking awful, and they still kept me. So what should that tell you about waiters? They need bodies, people. That's why I did it. Thanks for the dollar, 73, catty, daddy, daddy, 93. They probably gave you that table because the other tables you can't get to.

Yeah, because you have to walk between the spaces. Right. That could be it. That's exactly it, Carl. Here's a voicemail from one of our favorite listeners. Hey, it's your favorite male nurse listener. I was just a call on that idea. Have you ever done, like, a.

creepy kid idea like the good son where they like throw shit off you know highways and cause car

accidents and stuff I think that'd be pretty cool all right fuck you bye so you want us to commit felonies

is that what the suggestion is we did do a creepiest kid episode Carl and I still remember the name of the kid who won

Amherjit Singh go look him up why do you remember this because it was one of the most disturbing stories we ever covered it was like a little kid who just took babies from the village he lived it out to the wilderness and fucking beat him with rocks that's right and left them kind of like that kid from rochester who murdered that four-year-old eric harris smith eric smith yes eric harris

was the fucking columbine shooter because eric smith is actually now uh free lucky he got out of prison lucky him yeah how's that dill and roby kid doing did he ever uh get over that do you ever get over that? Fucking let him out. All right. Here's a suggestion. Vinnie, you gotta get in contact with Kaya about his

Predator show he's doing where they're reading the chat logs from the Catch a Predator. And for their last episode, they did a special where they read, I guess Doug Stanhope did his own type of predator baiting. And that is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard. And it's just missing Vinny.

All right. Let's all learn a lesson. from this podcast. Don't do what we do. Which is a podcast. The great Doug Stadhoff. Solid advice from him. Words to live by. I would love to do that. But Kaya, I have not gotten response from Kaya in a while. I know. Now that he's an American, living in America, being a big American guy, he doesn't have time for his old friends anymore. Apparently not. He still has time to watch Pitos without us. All right. Last one. I got.

Vinnie, Winnie, this guy's mad. Listen, I'm kind of worried about Kid Carl over there. He's been hanging out with the wrong crowd. That Phil Elmore kid, the one teaching him the ninja moves. It doesn't really kind of influence

that Carl needs in his upbringing. I mean, what constitutes a ninja move? Are we talking about stealing car stereos? Yeah, that's where I thought he was going. It's too loud with the movies. Here we go. Carl should not be learning any ninja moves from...

Ninja, please. Hold the feet of the fire. Let's get Carl on the right path. Yeah, I'm going to agree with this guy. Phil Elmore does not look like a ninja to me. No. In any way, he's not your typical ninja. You do see him coming, and you do have time to prepare for him.

It takes him a while to get to you. And he seems polite in a movie theater, I would imagine. Phil Elmore hasn't been in a movie theater since the 80s. Yeah, they probably cost money. All right, kids, those are all of our voice bells, unless you have any, Carl. Nope, I don't have any this week. Well, kids, I guess that means it's time for a scum parade. Scum parade, take me on a raid of these fucks your raids that these creeps have made.

Scum parade, Vinny and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade, like stories of a kid, fucked by his mama. dead soaking up the blood of a cat's skull parade I want to be ninja Holy shit

ABG that was great amazing callback if you don't know what we're talking about it's a great bonus episode that you can find on our

bonus episode page on Patreon backed up by or supercast there you go you figured it out yeah it took me a second I really am

fucking losing my spot today it's nuts you didn't have what to begin with. Thank God you have all this personality for everybody. I'm keeping things going for us, Vinny. Don't worry about it, buddy. I got us. Carl, guess where we're starting off?

Where are we going? Oregon. Oregon. Oregon. Found it. Congratulations. Found it. Although I think you're wrong about that. Shut up. I just wanted to play it. Oh, I was going to say, I think we're in Michigan in this first story.

Well, actually, you know what we're going to do? Fuck that. Let's start off with the most important story of the day. Oh, okay. Carl, I did send this to you earlier. We got to go to Clearwater, Florida. Nick Hogan. Oh. Son of the wrestling legend and creep off hall of favor, Hulk Hogan, was arrested in Clearwater, Florida yesterday on charges of driving under the influence, Carl. Uh-oh. 11, 18 a.m. Saturday morning, officers who were conducted a stop at the Gulf to Bay Boulevard spotted a Dodge Ram that was approaching them in a separate lane. What was the time? 1.18 a.m. Saturday morning, which would be...

Oh, there's 11.18. Okay. So it is late. It's late. Yeah, it's very late. So an officer used his flashlight to signal to Nick Hogan, who was driving. And by the way, legal name, Nicholas Bolea. He was told to move over to the other lane and slow down. Police say he didn't either. They then pulled him off. They detached a car, followed him. He was speeding at 51 miles per hour to 41 in a 40 mile per hour zone. when he was pulled over for the violation Officer said he showed signs of impairment saying he was swaying and unsteady and had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage, bloodshot and glassy eyes, he refused to take a breathalyzer and failed a police sobriety test.

Now, let's be reminded of why this is a big deal. He's previously met headlines in the late 2000s, when at the age of 17 he was involved in a serious car crash that left his friend John Grisano in Bayfront Hospital a vegetable.

Yes. A fucking vegetable. Like his friend is fucked. He was in the, he was a fucking Marine. The guy can't keep his own head up now. Sounds like Nick's over it. Sounds like the healing process is complete for our buddy Nick.

He better bet out there fucking drinking and feeling bad about what he did to his friend. If that's why he's drinking, it's okay. He better be Sulk Hogan. Graciano's family sued Belaide and Hogan for the victim's injuries, which left him paralyzed. They ended with a one and a half million dollar settlement. So Nick Hogan What are you doing?

He's not learning lessons, that's for sure Oh, Jesus Christ So Carl, by the way, I just talked to my pal Colin Delaney Yes And the holidays are coming up And we have that whole SD card filled with all sorts of

Hulk Hogan stuff And one of the things we have on there When you said we have that whole SD card filled with us like, uh-oh, where are we going with this? Yeah, Hulk Hogan Child pornography he produced We have it all. Jesus Christ

You know we got all those hard drives in my drawer at home, right? We've got to go through. I have a very special watch-along episode. We were planning for the holiday season. Okay. You ready for this, Carl? Three words.

Santa with muscles. Shut the fuck up. We have that movie. We have Santa with muscles. Yes. Oh, I can't wait. Can I tell you something the other night? My wife and I, we went off to eat.

We get home and my wife's like, let's watch something on TV. Oh, what do you want to watch? Thunder in Paradise. done and done let's do it hulk is a she loves that show it's her favorite he is a gift to cinema he really is that show is so amazing uh i can't i can't wait to watch can we just change this show to us watching howl kogan and everything he's ever done the hulk hogan fan best friends fan show yeah yeah the hul kogan super friends all right maybe probably not okay probably not it might be a better idea all right let's get back to the actual news let's go to chippewark county i believe this is

colorado actually deputy say a suspect was arrested after a fire saturday night destroyed a building now the call came in around 845 p.m for a fire at a building that used to be ruth's gift shop in downtown paradise colorado the gift shop had been closed for years now the sheriff said a quick investigation the scene led to a suspect and an arrest the suspect josephs Halder a volunteer firefighter who was there putting out the fire yeah they arrested him while he was putting out the fire they didn't want him finish his work they're like no out of line you yeah he's like come on I'm the reason why we're all here you go you're not going to let me hang on my buddies to do this aren't you guys having fun this is me I did this come on now we all know the firefighters start fires

we've talked about that many times on this show we just did a story about that a couple weeks ago and that's why I brought this up right we call them heroes Right, yeah. We call them heroes, but they're just burning shit down, man. This is what's interesting, though, because other first responders, like, medics don't give people heart attacks, do they? Just so they can save them? The good ones don't.

Well, right, but I don't think that we hear about that very often, but it seems like these firefighters, and I realize the problem with this, the word volunteer. Think about this. With the firefighter, we don't have volunteer police officers, we don't have volunteer or anything. We have volunteer firefighters for some reason. And Adam Croll always says, whenever there's a dad that's a little too eager

to take the Cubs Couts camping for the weekend, that's the one, no, you're not allowed to take the kids camping. The dad who wants to sit home and watch the game this weekend, yeah, you're the one going with the kids hiking because you don't want to be there. Same thing with firefighters. I almost think it should be like jury duty. Find people who want nothing

to do with fighting fires because I ain't starting it. I don't even want to be there. now here's how they caught him surveillance footage from the business across the street cameras everywhere people yeah so uh james helder is being held on a uh and he's facing up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine so if you have any mercy for him this year uh at the holidays I don't know what to tell you well there were there were two other fires

that they believe he caused See, that's the thing. I know it's all fun to burn down buildings and then put it out, but you can only do that once or twice a year. Otherwise, people are going to get suspicious. Yeah, you're going to become that hero cop who's always in the right place at the right time for the drug bus. Yes. Yeah. I see what he's trying to do.

He's trying to be an A plus student. I get it. All right. Carl, in a terrifying story involving fraud and a crazy person. I could not believe this. this one. A man failed to steal a couple's multi-million dollar Florida home. What he tried to do was he found this couple. They owned a property. They found out through property tax information in August of 2021 that the name has been changed on the deed to their house. I had never seen

this before. Maybe I'm an idiot. But deed fraud. Yes. Sounds amazing. I, like a sucker, bought a house in Florida with money. That was stupid. I could have just taken someone else's house and put my name on the deed. Deed fraud. Fucking amazing. I love this concept. Well, it depends on how you play it.

Let's not go too crazy. Oh, okay. Explain this to me. So this couple, they look at their property tax information, and instead of their name, a fake charity organization called Aurora Inc. was listed as the new owner. And the couple found a fraudulent warranty deed saying that they had granted ownership of the property to the.

the organization for $500. Makes sense to me? They never did this, Carl, obviously. And the gentleman who did all of this day was Alexander Leszensky. Now, he had used the fake charity organization to file the fraudulent warranty deed to try to transfer the home's ownership to himself. Now, once he gets arrested for this before they ever knew his name. How would you get away with it?

He was planning on a living there, right? He was just going to move into this house and he stole? I don't know what the fuck he was planning. This guy's an idiot. He's accused of stalking the married Florida homeowners before they even knew his name. When they filed the lawsuit against him to correct the deed at their home, Lizzynski responded by harassing them and their attorney, representing their case through letters, emails, and faxes.

And faxes. He was harassing them through faxes, people. He was doing the photocopy of his butt and then faxing that to the attorney's office. Ah, he got me again. I'm standing there waiting for the pizza bed used to be delivered, and I got to look at this guy's ass. faxes. One letter threatened to file a false lead against the couple's out-of-state residents as well saying, I don't want to see your career go down the drain. Now, that's just the start of the problem with this guy. He gets charged with deed fraud in April of 2022 in relation to his efforts

to steal the company's home or the couple's home. By August of 2022, while Lizzynski was incarcerated in Pinellas County Jail, the couple received a letter from an inmate, say that Lizzynski offered him $45,000 to help him hurt them. I know how I'll get away with this crime. I'll commit a larger crime. That'll do it. The inmate also wrote to the assistant U.S. District Attorney's Office of Mr. Lizzynski's plan.

Now, this guy also became a confidential informant to the government at that point. Yep. The inmate told the FBI that Lizzynski said the pending criminal fraud case against him would have to be dropped if the couple were dead. Lizzynski started speaking with the undercover agent. What a solution. Poseyed as a hitman. It offered the agent 30,000.

dollars to kill the couple. In one phone call, the undercover agent asked Lizzynski if he was, quote, good with having the couple killed. According to his plea agreement, Lizzynski said, yes. We good. Oh, we good. He's been sentenced to 17 years and six months of prison of charges of murder for hire and obstruction of justice. So fuck that guy. You know what his defense was? Yeah, read this. Okay. In the sentencing memo submitted by on Lizzynski's behalf, his attorney wrote that his client was, quote, remorseful and regretful, and his conduct is the result of his lack of real life experience and, quote, be naive.

Here's a quote from Luzinski. I'm just young and dumb. Yeah. I love that he says he's just dumb and naive, not evil. He was going to have these people killed. You know, my problem is, I just don't know how to commit crimes and get away with them yet. That's what I'm guilty of over here. Am I right people?

I'll figure it out one of these days. I was naive to think all I had to do was change the name on the deed and it was my house now. I was completely naive. So this got me thinking because, you know, he's trying to hire the hitman. The other day, I'm driving home and on the radio comes Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap by ACDC. And I started thinking about the lyrics of the song. Why is he doing them dirt cheap? Shouldn't he charge a premium for some of these things?

I mean, we're talking about concrete shoes, cyanide, T&T. I mean, what kind of clientele do you want, I guess is my point. If you're going to go to that type of business, I would charge a premium. I'd be like, dirty deeds done for a shitload of money because we do it right. be my advertisement. You know, Carl, that's why you're in marketing. That is why I'm in marketing. I understand these things. But also, the other things he lists

there are neckties, contracts, high voltage. I get a little confused on that one. What is that? Like, he's a death row lawyer? Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure what any of that means. No, I think about it. Well, Carl, good stuff.

I don't know what to say to that. I have another story to tell you, because this article had a photo of a gavel for some reason. And it reminded me we went to Buffalo for a show this past weekend. And producer Chris and I stop at a rest stop. And there's a sign up. I've never seen a sign at this before. It had a photo of like it looked like a trunk open in a car and something being thrown out of the trunk.

There's like motion lines. And then underneath that, it says $500 and there's a picture of a gavel. so I think what it's saying is that if you litter you'll be fined $500 which is a lot better ways to say that you could just write that you could just write that and then also the idea that it'd be like litter and then it's those $500 like did I think I was going to get $500 for littering like you know to put the gamble on there I get it's a fine now I understand that part of it do you want to know bothers me about that I blame emojis it is simple yeah you know what you know what and here's the problem with

this now it's taking smarter people longer to figure out what the fuck you're talking about It's not that you're helping anybody by making it pictures. Right. They might as well have the $500 with like a sand face with like the tear going down. I was like, oh, it's a bad. $500 is a bad thing. Okay, now I get it. Can we put old iron eyes Cody up there with the tear and his eye?

That is a good call. You're right. Yeah. Because I just read words and understand how they work. Yeah. But just put everything. We're like retarded hieroglyphics is what we're back to. You're right.

It's the name of this episode, maybe. Oh, that's funny. So, Carl, let's go. to Indiana College, shall we? Yes. A student is accused of a very heinous crime. Jonathan Quattro, T's 20, was arrested at a woman's Muncie apartment Saturday

after she got out of the shower to find her pet missing. Now, the victim became upset with Quotry after the death of her pet rabbit, who she stated that he killed the rabbit intentionally. And that wed after he bashed its braids and said, you're next. So I'm not the guy to explain how to turn a girl on I realize this

but buddy this ain't it yeah Carl learned this a long time ago when he brought Jenny a rabbit in his teeth this is for you I brought this for you I'm thankful for you this sucks Vinnie because rabbits already have natural predators they don't need wolves

coyotes foxes and Jonathan I mean one more thing well the sad thing is he totally threatened this girl after he bashed It's brains in. Yeah. And the woman didn't even call the police. What an idiot.

This girl's so dumb. This is a college student. Yeah. She didn't call the police. She called her parents. I got to check with my mom and dad to figure out how I handle this. If a guy's beating your animal to death, you call the police. Dude, it's so bizarre because, like, go back to that video.

We just watched a 28-year-old girl stealing with her mom and dad, calling her dad. Geena upset that he won't help her out. It's like, grow the fuck up. And call the police. The rabbits had had been smashing. It was bloody. police officer wrote who showed up at the seed. Yikes.

Yeah, he's been released from jail after posting a $10,000 bond in connection with charges one count of animal cruelty and one count of intimidation. The victim told police that she was Quatro's girlfriend and he had hit her causing bruising in the past. So not a great guy. No. You think, listen, if she had a pet turkey, you might have been able to get away with it this week. For sure.

This isn't Easter time. You can't just kill the body. No. You can't do it. it so carl i got a fun one for you okay i like people who play pranks i always think pranks are fun yes like funny costumes and stuff like that or pretending to give john a gig at a comedy club no i think pranks are hilarious i agree you mean sympathy it's a pretty good prank you orchestrated fuck off a texas woman has been sentenced to 30 years of prison uh-huh after she pled guilty

to stabbing her her mother to death and then fleeing the scene only to return mined minutes later and act like she didn't know what was happening. Hey, I just got here. What's going on here? Oh my God. There's blood everywhere. What happened? Dude, it totally reminds me of George Costanza going back to work on Monday. Hey, didn't you quit? I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean? I still work here. Okay, Houston, Texas, guys, Houston Texas. Hold on. I might even still have it on the board. Going back to Houston, Houston, Houston. That's our buddy Alex's favorite. Now, Erica and Nicole McDonald wore black clothes and a mask broke into her mother's apartment using a window.

She then stabbed her mother and aunt before she fled the seed, changed her clothes, and then went back to her mother's house within minutes as first responders were working the scene. McDonald pretended she didn't know what had happened. Her mother, 50-year-old Terry Mendoza, was transported to local hospital where she died. The 63-year-old aunt was stabbed six times but survived after surgery. So I really think that that's what fucked up her strategy there, was not finishing off the aunt. Because otherwise she might have gotten away with it. And you know what I thought about was really smart about returning to the crime scene?

What's that? I would walk her out and just start touching everything. Oh, yeah. In front of the cops. Of course my prints are all over the place. I was so distraught when I got there and saw this. Smart. Like, which knife was it?

Was it this one? Was it this one officer? I would touch everything in the kitchen. I would just be, I would be touching the cops' faces. It's hilarious. Right? Smearing blood all over their uniforms. oh my god i got all over me this is crazy you know i would just start making an angel in the blood

and be like of course there was blood on me every now and again we give some solid advice on this show i gotta say this is one of those times so the official said the aunt identified mcdonald as the killer and she saw her attempting to perform CPR and her mom before fleeing which maybe there's some regret to murdering your own mother with a knife i'm not sure that CPR is going to stop the bleeding. When you stamp someone to death, CPR is not the answer. Yeah, when you start doing the compressions

and it scorch you in the fucking face. Hey, look at what I can do with mom. Oh, look at that. I painted the walls. Now, according to authorities, McDonald was arguing with her mom and aunt before the attack took place that had gotten so heated,

the relatives called the police twice earlier in the day. McDonald's reportedly living with relatives at a different apartment near where her mother live. Detectives found a knife and bloody clothing inside that apartment. Now there's your other mistake. You got to get rid of that stuff

so it's nowhere near you. Correct. Yeah. As part of the plea deal, McDonald cannot appeal the conviction or sentence she required to serve at least half of the 30 years before she could be paroled.

So, fuck her. All right. Fair enough. Carl, let's talk about a mother's love. Yes. It knows no limits. Well, let me take that back. A Thai mother surrendered herself to the police that confessed to hiring a gunman for the murder of her drug addicted son.

Again, so much outsourcing going on in the scum parade today. And it reminds you, did you see that South Park special they did where no one can do anything on their own? Oh, yes, I did. The Pandervor's one? Yeah. I watched it while I was at 102 degree fever this week. It was great. But that's what this reminds me of.

It's just like, okay, you want your meth head son dead. You do it. Why are you hiring people to do it for you? Because she said that she felt really bad that her son was dealing with all of his addictions. Sure. And the problem was he would get, you know, all methed out and then beat her up. Yeah. This is, this is some family, isn't it?

Yeah. So she's like, ah, fuck it. I got to deal with this. I could maybe send him to rehab or something, but I, or I could just talk to my daughter and see if she knows anybody who will murder him for me. Right. And that's what she did. She offered a 64-year-old guy named Samsa Sanchuawat, $25,000.

bought to shoot and kill him at his home. That is the one nice thing about living in a poor country. If you have a few bucks, you can get some shit done. Yeah. And shocking, he did it. Yeah. He sure did. And she turned herself into the police, which I feel like is a bad move there.

Because now you're indicting that. Now you're getting everybody in trouble to clear your conscience. You paid a guy to shoot him. You didn't go over there and shoot him. Now you're ratting out everybody else. Well, she also had a family member involved in making the decision so yeah exactly it's like if i knew you were going to fucking rat us out i wouldn't even talk to you about this i mean i took a job for you and this is how you repay me right all right car

let's dick move let's move over to russia did you know the russian thanksgiving is weird did they have a thanksgiving well i don't know what are they thankful for all the bread they're going to get from ukraine so a mother is confessed to shockingly throwing her newborn baby it's a baby thrower kids into the red hot oven in her house so the headline reads

I kid you not it says the woman confessed it is now the prime suspect brilliant police work gentlemen well done she's now the prime suspect after her confession she burned her newborn alive

in the stove everybody local report said the woman gave birth at home to a premature third child and she said that after she gave birth nobody had seen the baby nobody had heard anything from her after five months a report citing the Russian Investigator Committee

said that the mother explained that she had a premature birth in the fifth month of pregnancy so she just decided to get rid of the baby Now here's the thing I don't know what you're thinking about throwing a baby into a stove if you do this

low and slow Oh you think so you think that's the way to do it Low and slow Like a pork shoulder? Yeah Low and slow for a newborn. The least surprising sentence in this story was, this isn't the first time such an incident has occurred in Russia.

Yep. The second least surprising sentence in this story is the grandfather had been out and got drunk on vodka. Like, who's writing this? Me? And here's the most fucked up part about this. For the scribe, do you know what the prison sentence, like maximum prison sentences for throwing your child into a stove?

weekends all of November No, it's five years Five years, no shit, all right Well, if that didn't tell you That not everyone is fit to be a mom I got another story for you Let's go to Nebraska, Carl A 16-year-old Nebraska girl was arrested

In charge of a connection with the death of her baby Now, on November 6, police were called to a home in Gordon, Nebraska After receiving a report about a teenager Who had given birth to the baby And the baby was not breathing Now at the scene, police said the girl's father met with the officers and claimed that the baby was still born and it was quote, too late.

It was still born with stamp wounds in it. It's one of those crazy incidences where the baby just was born with stab wounds. Yeah. I mean, I'm not a scientist, officer. I don't know how this happens. So listen, we're not sure how babies cook, but we were sticking it

with a meat thermometer in her stomach to try to find out if the baby was medium or not. Police went into this baby girl, into this 60-year-old girl's bedroom, and allegedly found the girl squatting by the door and her mother crying hysterically while holding the baby wrapped in a towel. What a fucking day for that, huh?

The dad's like, I'll just wait in the driveway for the cops. Fucking nightmare. Could you fucking do with this? Oh, so my daughter's a whore. Is that what I'm to believe here? My daughter's a baby murdering whore. Is that what I'm supposed to think? Great.

You're grounded. The mother allegedly told me he said her daughter had hurt the baby and officers could see marks of the infant. Now, an officer tried to give you the baby first aid, but saw the babies throw a period to a bed cut through the windpipe and the newborn stabbed multiple times on the left side of the chest. They missed that a belgacord

by a mile. Whoops. No, no, cut this. Oh, you mean the deck? With a girl, okay. This chick is fucking nuts. Yeah. I kind of want to hang out with her sometime. Wow. She's too young now.

She's 16, so she'll be out in two years. Great. The girl has come to them earlier the day, the parents said, and said that she needed to go to the store for sanitary pads because she was having an unusually large period. Uh-huh. Tell us another one. After the tea left, one of the family's dogs went into the girl's bedroom.

The mother reportedly went in to retrieve the dog and found a large amount of blood on the floor on the wall. She was like, Jesus. Wow. At some period. Talk about heavy flow days. Wow. When the girl returned from the store about 15 to 20 minutes later,

the mother confronted her daughter. The teen allegedly admitted to giving birth and killing the baby. you want to know what happened Bob You'll want to know what happened fine I'll tell you In this article it says It's not clear if the girl's parents knew She had been pregnant

She said that she had her period And it was a heavy flow period They did not know she was pregnant Obviously And wasn't the dumbest people alive The mother then called for her husband Who fouled the baby's body in a closet The parents told police

They recalled her daughter Going into the kitchen about an hour Before she left for the store With the cops present The parents looked at one of the kitchen the judge said they saw a knife was missing. Uh-oh. Police searched the home, but officers found blood-soaked clothing and towels later in the evening

police were called back to the home when the girl's father found the missing knife in the girl's closet. Got to turn that in. It's not clear if the girl's parents knew she had been pregnant, like you said. Of course they didn't. The girl was transported to the hospital where she reportedly underwent surgery. She was charged with first-degree murder and the use of a deadly weapon to commit a felony. So this is a horrific image, obviously.

But imagine the hot goss at school tonight. day. You know much fun everyone is having at her expense right now? Did you guys hear about Tina? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She slid her baby's throat. Did you even know she was pregnant? No, it's fucking nuts. Those ain't real dude. Nailed it. Is this girl extra fat? Oh, shit.

That makes, okay. You know what? All the things I was thinking about her, I take back. Never mind. They're going to be going, who fuck Tina? Yeah, right? Oh, my God. That's going to be the hot goss. Who was the father? Some guy just like, yeah, I know. Could you imagine? That's hilarious. Although, if you don't want to pay for an abortion,

thanks, Tina. Appreciate it. Tina 250, saves you $250. All right, Carl. And you don't have to dump her. Oh, you're going to prison now? That's too bad. All right, well, right me, bye.

And you get to be a victim the rest of your life? Perfect. Oh, my God. My son was killed right after he was born. It was horrific. It was horrific. Tina. I remember I was trying out for the football team. I remember when I got the news. I was like, yeah. I mean, no. This is terrible. Oh, geez. I get my weekends back. It's terrible. So you know how I like to end on a high note, a cherry note?

A horrific story. Yes, I do know that. Well, I'm going out on a high note this week. Okay. Okay. I want to say I'm thankful this year for this Mexican gang. Yes. I'm thankful for a Mexican gang. I wrote down the Mexicans finally got something right. Is that what you wrote out? That was my note. I was looking at it right now. Mexican gang tortured an alleged rapist by stripping him naked in the street before making a pit bull eat his genitals. Wow. Fucking awesome.

That is awesome. That's a deterrent right there. The unnamed man was set a pot after allegedly sexually attacking a woman in Mexico City in 2019. And the horrific footage said to be released as a warning to others. The man is seen writhing on the floor while handcuffed it surrounded by bed. A white pit bull terrier with brown markings Then begins mauling the man's genitals The victim is heard screaming

Stop, leave me now, leave me! How do you train a dog to do that? I don't know, I would ask Mark. I'm pretty sure Sonny would handle that. Good point, yes. Mark's dog has done that to a few people around here. Mark's dog will fuck somebody up. That's why I don't expose my genitals in this building.

I keep hidden. Can you imagine? I'm just walking around my whatever. I don't know I'm trying to think of what I would be wearing that I could just easily expose my genitals

My bathroom Your boxers again Just walk around my bathroom around here So the victim has also heard Screaming Stop leaving out The group watches One of the gang then covers his mouth Of the rag

To stifle his cries for help Then a second dog A brown pit bull appears But does not join in So they were a little bummed out there They were hoping they could get The dog got the job done We only needed one dog for this one

so local media reported that in recent years methods of torture by mexican criminal organizations have increased their level of cruelty they claim that at the time such attacks were becoming increasingly frequent and claimed dozen of women are raped every day so we need more pipples well in this article at the end there's all these crime statistics for mexico city yeah and it's even worse than rochester i don't know if you notice that you know when john talking about is there comedy club hiring when when john's like about horrible rochester is i'm like check up Mexico City. It's pretty horrific. It's something like, what was it, like a couple hundred people out of 100,000 are murdered every year. Like, what the fuck? That's insane. You get home

from work and you're like, well, I didn't get murdered today. So it was pretty good day. Carl, I just have to say this. If I started a charity right now, it would be to provide Mexican gangs with pit bulls. Yes. Agreed. I think crime in Mexico is out of control. And I think if we could help the citizens take back their streets. Even if there were a couple. innocent victims here and there, you know. It's going to happen. Not my country. Right.

So maybe I'll start that charity. I will be doing cameos from now until Christmas to get Mexican gang members pit bulls. Beautiful. Yeah. I'm a good guy like that. Only rescues. Only rescues. Only rescues that were beaten by their previous owners.

Oh, very angry with the world. All right, Carl. I think it's time for us to, well, time for me to fucking spin the wheel. Oh, we do have, um, real quick. The, so 73, Candy Data 93, thank you for the dollar. Super Sicker. And then Dang Lizard down at the bottom there with two euros. Yeah.

Says, you're telling me Nick Hogan works with vegetables. I'm not working with vegetables. Apparently, he is. We should have grabbed that joke when we were talking about that story. God damn it. Sorry, thank you, Dang Lizard. Well done. We appreciate it.

So, Carl. All right, what's our TBD? Let's figure it out. I liked my idea. What was your idea? You have to do a podcast with Phil. I'll mark or is that tortures both of you guys, but... I mean, if Phil will go for it, I mean, how about, how many episodes?

I don't know. What's it about? Is it about food? I'll let the listeners vote. I'll let the patrons pick. What do you mean? I let the patrons, like, make their suggestions and then vote what the show would be about. So if you roll the TBD, it will actually be to be determined.

No, no, no. What I was saying was, like, I could do the podcast with Phil, but the time. topic could be determined by the listeners okay all right is that what it is then i guess if phil wants to three episodes if phil doesn't want to do it then you could pick somebody else equally as heinous to me okay a guy with a stutter uh uh uh oh oh i refuse to work with him all right carl there they are winners choice phil podcast murder and makeup video last jedi three viewings dear god don't give me number for number five patreon and supercast money number six tom by your stand-up torture i like that too god if i get to pick it's gonna be between five and six

hundred dollars a podcast hitman doesn't make your because i'd be getting off easy on that oh he'd be getting up way too easy on that yeah but i deserve to get off easy because i did a good job in all of my presentations and you did a shit work and everybody's just trying to be mean to me incorrect i shut you out i'm i'm dominating this point no no no no i dominate the I'm the Wayne Gretzky of the creepoff right now. How about that for a reference? Yeah, he both have the same goofy teeth. I'm the Michael Jordan of the creepoff.

You're not even the fucking LeBron of the creepoff. I'm the Michael Jordan when he went to the White Sox of the creepoff. You're the fucking Birmingham Barrens, Michael Jordan is who you are. All right, I'm going to spin this shit now. Okay. Let's get it going on. I got a drum roll here on my board. I believe I can find my board.

All right, so right now, that's the arrow right there, the tongue. All right, here it is. Round and round we go. And we, what did you say you did not want to have to do, Biddy? What was it what you said you did not want to have to do? Watch the last Jedi three times. West Jedi three times in a row for Vinnie Paulino, and I believe you'll be live streaming yourself watching this three times in a row.

Yeah, great. I'll figure out time for fucking that. You know what? I'm going to do it quickly. I'll get it done fast. Hey, I got my cuties one done quickly as well. Yeah, like a month and a half. Oh, stop it.

All right. Fine. Last Jedi, piece of shit. What was the one that was worse than that? Was the final one worse? No, definitely not. The final one actually moves. It's got a story.

It does things. Things happen. It's stupid, but things happen. The Final Jedi is like watching a Star Trek TV episode. You're like, so wait, the spaceship's just going slow. and the other spaceship is just going slow and they're just going somewhere is that the one with fucking laura durn yeah it's the one where they're going to run out of gas and then this and then they go to the las vegas planet and they're all worried about the animal cruelty and then it

turns out that all the rich people are bad guys because they sell weapons to the rebels and to the imperials and it's dude it's the worst fucking piece of shit it's awful it's terrible Luke Skywalker is an asshole Hey let's oh my god I forgot about that true Let's take the beloved character That would create this entire franchise And everybody loves

And let's turn them into a prick That everyone hates now Good thinking Ryan Jesus Christ All right fine I'll do the kinds of hands I want a book report about it too I'm not giving you a fucking book

Yeah I need you to present a book report afterwards Let me know what was good about it All right folks We'll be back We'll figure out a bonus episode for Friday Yes we will And we'll be back to normal. Sorry I missed

last Friday, folks. That is the end of today's episode. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Glad you're feeling better, Vinnie. Hey, Carl, on my way out here, I want to play my favorite of all time Thanksgiving video for everyone on our way out. Hey, real quick, I'm doing a bonus show in a couple of hours

on our Patreon and Supercast. If you're on there, you can watch it live. It'll be Blind Mike and myself, and we're checking out Julia Fox's book, Down the Drain. I will tune in later. I got nothing but time right now. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you my favorite Thanksgiving song of all time, Space Thanksgiving.

We're out of here. What the hell is it supposed to be? I know you're hungry. Welcome to Grandma's house. Please have a seat. She'll pick you a plate, yeah, so you can eat. I know you see her throwing back all that food. You look so hungry, yeah, I know you want to eat.

I want some chicken. Ooh. I want some turkey. I want some ham. Yeah. Maybe some lamb. Taste so good. I want some chicken.

Ooh. Maybe some turkey. Yeah. How about hands? Please. Not that holiday saying. No! I got greens be, little tomato,

lamb ram and dogs. Land rammed and dogs. That's like me sure that's dead they can't have them mull. We can't have them all. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Just like the shirley said we can't have them all. Ready!

My grand is special and I know you can see. She must must ask you, but she makes sure you eat. Oh, no, I know you're never to leave But don't you dare For the recipe I want a chicken Ooh I want some turkey

I want some ham Yeah Maybe some lamb I want some chicken Ooh Maybe some turkey Yeah How about ham

Please Not that a holiday fan I got greens beans I got green beans To make of lamb ram and dogs Land Ramon and down. We can't have them all. We can't have them all.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Just like the shunle it says we can't have them all. Ready! We got a pound cake, got the apple pie, we got the pecan pie, we got that million dollar pie, got the supermarket pie, got the pumpkin pie, got all the sweets that you can try. We got that greens, that turkey, that chicken, that clothes, too. We got that stuffing that green bean, mac and cheese, and corporate food. I wasn't done

What did they're not trying this on on a song? But all the food I'm at the hand Oh my mom I'm so damn I'm happy Bramette

Bram and Grady Yeah It's all the fun I'm so stung I did Just like I'm trying to sit we can ride on.